Guest, gwador means brother of heart.
The fourth day had dawned on them since Alasse had last been conscious. Legolas, Sam, and Frodo waited for news from their friends. Tatsu was devastated at what had become of her charge, and she wept every night, her heart breaking over and over every time she saw Alasse in that bed, with no knowledge of those around her! Legolas could not see any light beyond his thoughts and feelings of despair, save for the hope that Aragorn may be found sooner than they'd first imagined.
Legolas quietly stepped into Alasse's room. She looked the same, listless, unconscious, and deeply troubled even in her sleep. Thranduil was as stoic and hard-pressed as a statue. If not for the slight breathing pattern on his shoulders, one would've never known he was an existent being. Legolas shook his head heavily. He didn't understand any of this! For that matter, he honestly wasn't sure if he even wanted to understand it! It made no sense and felt so unfair! Even counsel from Gandalf did little to comfort him about it.
"There is a reason indeed, my young prince. We cannot see it from afar. But I promise you, there is a reason." Gandalf had told him.
Legolas took a deep breath and approached his father who was standing over Alasse's bed, like a great, imposing tree, daring any to cause him to break his vigil. "There is no change, Legolas." Thranduil said dryly, startling Legolas who wasn't expecting him to speak! "Why are you here?"
"I thought I would take over the watch." Legolas said softly as he stood at the foot of the bed. "You need a respite, Father. I will stay with Alasse."
Thranduil's already heavy-laden face drew into a dark storm. He didn't even face Legolas. "It is all his fault." Thranduil snapped.
"Whose fault?" Legolas frowned, looking up at him.
"His!" Thranduil turned and glowered at Legolas, yet tears were streaming down his face. "Aragorn's!"
"Aragorn's?" Legolas started. What the-"What are you talking about?"
"Everything." Thranduil snarled. "Everything wrong that has happened to your sister has been because of him. All of it!"
"Ada..." Legolas breathed sadly. How could he say such a thing? Even Thranduil himself had said that Aragorn was a man among men, better than most of his race! What had entered his mind that he should so easily, and so venomously flip his impression?
"It was because of him that she decided to leave the safety of my halls and become a vagrant, wondering all over Middle Earth, never belonging anywhere."
"Ada, you're worried, and upset. Please calm down." Legolas suggested quietly.
Thranduil would have none of it. His shoulders trembled as he continued to rant."It was because of Aragorn that she followed you after Ravenhill! She said so! She told Aragorn that meeting him changed her life. And, look where's it gotten her! Nothing but torment, heartache, and death! Everything was fine until she met him! They never should've come together. All of this, everything, everything wrong that has happened to your sister is because of him!"
"Adar! Just stop!" Legolas declared sharply. "So, everything wrong that has happened is Aragorn's fault, is it? Was it because of him that we lost Naneth? Was it because of him that the Shadow hovered over out forest? Was it because of Aragorn, that you and Alasse nearly lost me, when that spider bit me twice? Was it because of him that Gollum escaped? Was it because of him, that little Ruby nearly gotten eaten alive? Was it because of him that Gandalf fell in Moria? Was it Aragorn's fault that Alasse is alive?"
Thranduil glared at Legolas, pursing his lips. "She's been failed already. I failed her, Legolas. I did not keep her safe. I feel it everyday since Gandalf told me that she fell in this accursed land."
"And you think that I do not?" Legolas wept. "I do feel it, Ada. Every day, every time I look at her! I failed her too. I swore to you and Naneth I would protect her! I failed."
"I cannot even protect her from...from...this! Whatever this truly is! Not even when I hold her in my arms can I save her from it." Thranduil shook his head, biting back the stinging tears. Going through this tribulation was like losing his wife all over again. He hated every minute of it. It's sting was beyond words!
"So that's it then. You never came here to help Aragorn. You only came because of Alasse." Legolas said stiffly. "I should've known."
Thranduil gaped at him in surprise. "That is not true." He said defensively.
"Father, you think I don't see it?"
"I lost her, Legolas!"
"So did I." Legolas pressed.
"You don't know that kind of pain like I know it! What do you know of that kind of love?"
"Well, more than you! All you know how to do is shut people out." Legolas spat, then he flinched, shocked at his own words. Thranduil looked away angrily, shaking. "Oh, Valar! Forgive me, Ada! I didn't mean it! I did not. Forgive me, please. I was upset. I know that isn't true."
"So..." Thranduil sneered coldly, "he has also swayed you to trust no one else's judgement but your own, not even your own father's."
Legolas clenched his fists. How dare he! Thranduil was speaking out of pure, raw emotion with little thought to his words or actions right now. But that did not give him the right to say such false, demeaning things about their good friend.
"Don't you dare say anything about Aragorn. Don't you ever." Legolas warned him.
"Nothing has been right for her, ever since she met that...that...that ranger." Thranduil snarled, his tone so cold it made Legolas step back. "She never should have met him. You never should've met him! Then none of this would've happened."
"But you were the one who told me to go and find him!" Legolas shouted at his father, shocked and outraged. Thranduil stiffened. It was true. And now Legolas was defiantly glaring up at him. Thranduil tried not to let his alarm show. He knew that look. It was the same hurt, indignant expression Tauriel had given him in Dale when he had disregarded the dwarves completely, even though they were about to be massacred. He remembered that dreadful moment all too well. It had not ended pretty. Had it really come to this? Were they truly at the same cross-hairs now? Legolas's expression did not waver. Thranduil could see it. He saw the anger and deep hurt in his son's eyes. Aragorn was Legolas's bosom friend, they were like brothers. His harsh words of accusation and blame had clearly hurt Legolas, more than he could say. And what he had said was true. Thranduil had been the one to direct him toward Aragorn when he was a man.
My mistake, it was on the tip of Thranduil's tongue. But he did not utter it. He didn't have to. His face said everything!
"Stop it, both of you!" Bellethiel suddenly bellowed. Thranduil and Legolas both whirled around at her. She had come to look in on her princess and walked into...this! "Yes, we've got troubles, but you should be rejoicing every moment while she breathes! You should be holding each other, not driving the other further away! Have you not had your fill of loss already? I too have suffered a great loss, but you should be grateful. At least...you still have her." The king and prince stared at their captain. She hung her head shamefully. It was not her place to speak this way. She'd overstepped. "I...I'm sorry." She whispered before turning away.
Alasse suddenly stirred in the bed and whimpered terribly. Legolas and Thranduil both rushed to the sides of the bed. "Alasse? Melleth, can you hear me?" Thranduil asked hopefully. Alasse winced and writhed on the bed.
"Bellethiel! Find Lord Elrond, quick!" Legolas called then stepped closer. "Alasse, we're here, muinthel. What is wrong?" He gripped her hand.
"H-hurts..." Alasse bit her lip, her eyes still closed.
Elrond came quickly and hurried to the bed and sat down beside Alasse. "What happened?" He asked, checking her pulse.
"She started to wake, and she was moaning." Legolas said. Thranduil was anxiously bending over his daughter, firmly gripping her hand. Elrond grunted.
"Alasse? Can you hear me?" He asked.
"Mph. Y-yes." Alasse cried, not opening her eyes.
"What is wrong, child?"
"Hurts..."
Elrond pulled back the covers, and pulling up the top of her hospital gown, he saw a small spot of blood on the bandages. He grimaced. This should not be happening! He carefully removed the bandages and set his face grimly. Her wound was still bleeding."I cannot understand it." Elrond shook his head.
Gandalf arrived in that moment, and after seeing the predicament, handed Elrond a fresh pair of bandages. Through all this, Alasse kept her eyes shut. She couldn't bear to look into their faces. It hurt too much just to know how much pain this was causing them. She had heard every word in the exchange between her father and brother.
Elrond finished redressing her wound and covered her back up again. "Alasse? Are you still with us?" He asked, noticing that she had not opened her eyes. Alasse bit her lip and nodded.
She opened her eyes and saw their sorrowful countenances. Tears filled her face. It was at that moment that Alasse met her father's and brother's gazes. They were filled with grief and heartache. "Ada? Legolas? I need to speak with Gandalf...alone. Saes." Alasse said wearily, looking away.
None of them liked the sound of that! Was she dying? Did she want to be alone so Gandalf could ease the passing? "Please." She insisted. Elrond rose from the bed and slowly left the room. Thranduil kissed her hand then turned away. Legolas stood there for a moment. He watched her, trying to read her expression, trying to understand. Why? She gave no answer. Legolas departed in tears.
Elrond wanted to comfort his friends, but he clearly saw that they needed a moment. So he noiselessly gave them some privacy. Legolas barely met Thranduil's gaze as he entered the hall. "Legolas...forgive me. I was wrong to say what I did." Thranduil sobbed.
"No more than I was." Legolas stared at the floor. "Bellethiel is right. Antagonizing each other will only make everything worse."
"Seems I do have a knack for selecting impressionable elleth captains, don't I?" Thranduil snickered sadly. Legolas grinned despite his tears.
"Yeah." He sighed. He looked back toward the room. "What do you think is happening? Ada, why do you think she wanted us to leave?"
"I do not know." Thranduil hung his head shamefully. "Whatever she decides, we will fully support her. What is best for her, it is obvious that she knows what that is, better than I do." Thranduil nearly choked as he sobbed, rubbing his face. Legolas stepped forward and gripped his father's arm.
"You don't have to be alone again in your loss, Father." Legolas whispered. Thranduil wrapped his arm around his son and they both stood there weeping together for a time.
"Was is it, child?" Gandalf asked when Alasse finally faced him. Alasse winced.
"Gandalf, I do not know how much longer we can bear this." She said with a trembling lip. "Aragorn...he is the reason I wake every morning, and want to be the best version of myself possible. I want to make him proud! But...my love for him...it is so real, so powerful, yet...so heavy. Ada is in despair, and now I fear he will never truly accept Aragorn as my true love! Even though he said he would. What am I to do?"
Gandalf smiled sympathetically and came to her side. "My dear child, you must not take his words to heart." He said soothingly. "Thranduil is hurting. He is afraid of watching you die a second time. No one should have to endure that kind of heartbreak, more than once! I believe that losing you the way he did, reminded him of when he lost your dear mother. It was as if history was repeating itself. If you were to go through what he has in that regard, how would you feel?"
"I cannot imagine!" Alasse shuddered. "I...truly feel I would not want to live."
"Ai." Gandalf nodded sadly. "You and Legolas both have magnificent destinies upon your paths. That is what keeps your father from fading or sailing. He wants to be here to see it, so that when the time comes for him to meet your mother again, he can tell her how well you did and how they can both be so proud of you."
Alasse slightly smiled. How long and hard her father must be waiting for that day to come! "How is that possible? Naneth told me that Aragorn and I were blessed of the Valar! How can I believe that if the Valar keeps us apart like this?"
"The doings of men are not orchestrated through puppet strings by the Great Ones, child. Men are free to choose between good and evil. It is our dismay that one chose evil, to try and destroy all the good that Aragorn has accomplished. But...great things must be in store for Aragorn, for you both, if someone was trying so hard to take it away! But of course...that is up to you, if you will take it. I believe we will all understand, my dear, if you chose now to sail, to the Undying Lands, to peace." Gandalf said softly.
Alasse pondered his words. After hearing Thranduil's harsh words, she knew she loved Aragorn more than this life but she did not know what to do for it, as she was afraid it would truly kill Thranduil now, lead him to finally give up and fade if she married a mortal.
"Gandalf?" She directly faced him. Gandalf merely raised his eyebrows and smiled fondly. "We need to find Aragorn!" She told him. She rubbed her stomach. "I do not know what this shall bring or what will become of it. But we must find Aragorn! And I am ready." Gandalf nodded.
Bellethiel was in her guest quarters, packing her garments and weapons into her satchel. "What do you think you are doing, Captain?" Thranduil asked as he stood in the doorway. Bellethiel froze. Her heart started thudding in her chest. She turned and bowed but kept her eyes to the floor.
"My king." She said grimly. "I must beg your forgiveness for my outburst. It was not my place. I overstepped, and meddled in a family affair that is between you, your son, and your daughter. I swear, I only wished to put an end to the conflict I saw, nothing more! For I saw how much it hurt the both of you."
"Are you going somewhere?" Thranduil cocked an eyebrow.
"I have wanted to revisit Rohan, to see little Ruby. And know how she is faring." Bellethiel murmured, smiling warmly. "Just the memory of her alone lifts my spirits, and inspires me to not give up on what I was put here to do! Though now I cannot imagine what that will be."
"You would travel to Rohan without the permission of your king?" Thranduil asked 'sternly'.
"Never! But you are no longer my king." Bellethiel sniffled with tears.
"Oh? And what gives you the right to declare such a thing?" Thranduil straightened stiffly.
"Because I have no place among your people."
"Who told you that?" Thranduil peered closer at her. "Answer me, Captain!" Bellethiel looked up at him, with tears and in bewilderment.
"My lord, why...no one. But...I thought..."
"You thought what?" Thranduil narrowed his eyes suspiciously.
"Am I not to be banished? For stepping out of my place, and speaking out of turn, especially considering your children, my prince and princess?" Bellethiel blurted out. Thranduil blinked, stunned. She thought what? Against his better judgement, Thranduil threw back his head and laughed. Whether it was from relief, or amusement, he couldn't tell. Bellethiel looked even more hurt at his merriment. "My lord?" She forced herself to speak.
"Bellethiel," Thranduil shook his head, chuckling. "You silly elfling. I never made no such statement or even considered it!"
"Ohh. Wha-you didn't?" The captain sputtered. "You do not think I deserve it?"
"Of course not! You are the best captain we have had in many a century. Did you really think I would send you away because you tried to help me see reason? Valar," Thranduil quirked his eyebrows, "I knew I could instill fear into those under me, and my enemies. But I didn't know I was that bad!" Bellethiel's jaw dropped. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry harder. She stood there shaking, unsure of how to respond. "Child, calm down! You look as if you fear I may beat you. And that is one rumor I do not wish to have running around in my name. Well, except to those I deem a threat! That would be a genuine pleasure."
"My apologies, Sire." Bellethiel bowed and furiously dabbed at her eyes. But it seemed that the harder she tried, the more tears came.
"You know, for captain of the Woodland Army, you sure are a timid elleth, aren't you?" Thranduil smiled.
"Forgive me, my lord. I do not mean to be! I do not understand what is wrong with me!" Bellethiel grasped her face, trying to calm herself. Thranduil stepped forward and pulled her hands down.
"I do." He said.
"You do?"
"You are still hurting. You have not been the same since you lost your dear sister in heart. And I assure you, we have not forgotten her or her beloved. It seems that you have been pushing yourself to try to be absolutely perfect since then. You are stretching yourself to the limit, young one."
"I do not know what else to do, Sire. Or even how to do it. Captain, yes. That is my job and I would not trade it for anything. That is what I know how to do. If I were to lose that, I do not know if I could bear it!"
"It is because joining my army is how you and Lindethiel met, isn't it?" Thranduil finished for her. "Where you two became family."
"Yes, my lord. I suppose that is it."
"And you have been driving yourself up a wall fighting to keep that reminder with all that you have. You are afraid that without it, you will forget your sister and what it was like to be with her."
Bellethiel stared up at her king. She had not expected that! How did he know? "How...how can you know that? That is exactly how I feel, Sire! I didn't know how to express it. But how did you know?"
"Because I once made the same mistake." Thranduil sighed. "I thought that a trinket was all I had left of one I loved dearly, and I was willing to go to any lengths to retrieve it! But I let my obsession overpower my judgement, and that led to ruin that I never saw coming. I did not fully realize until it seemed too late, that the true treasure I desired was right in front of me every day." Bellethiel had finally calmed, listening thoughtfully.
"Your ranks in my army, were not all that you had together with Lindethiel, child. That was not what kept you together! It was love, and the friendship forged. And whether you remain in the Wood or not, will not change that. Lindethiel is still with you." Thranduil promised. He let go of her and prepared to exit. "Oh, and I wouldn't go off gallivanting on any childish, night charades if I were you! We have work to do, Captain."
Bellethiel giggled. "I won't." She smiled widely.
