CAN I GET A WITNESS?

CHAPTER 10: PAIN IN THE BOAT

OXOXOXOXOXO

"This place is a dump."

Ralph had a habit of saying what everyone else was thinking and his latest statement was no exception. The teen wrinkled his nose against the reeking miasma of mildew, cigarettes, fish and greasy cooking. He dropped the duffle bag with a thunk on the ugly, dirt-colored carpet by one end of the sagging sofa. A little flurry of dust gusted up around him when he threw himself down to sprawl across the threadbare cushions. He waved a hand in front of his face and went into an exaggerated cough fit.

Even Paige was hard-pressed to find anything positive to say about the ancient houseboat with circa1970's decor as she swallowed the bile threatening to rise. She rushed around opening windows hoping to air out the worst of the stench before she was forced to make a mad dash to the nearest toilet and empty her stomach contents. Again.

"Agreed," Walter said with a shrug, "But it's the best we can afford if we're going to replace the electronics we left behind at the ranch and still have food and other necessities." He gave Paige an uneasy look. "Will you and-and the baby be okay here do you think? We could keep looking for something else less…toxic."

She smiled wryly in his direction. "There is nothing else in Middle-of-Nowhere, Minnesota. We'll just have to make the best of it."

When Walter still looked concerned, she added, "Listen, Ralph and I have lived in much worse conditions. Don't worry."

"Somehow that fact doesn't make it seem any better," Walter retorted.

"We'll all be fine. A few days of cleaning and airing out will make it…" she glanced around briefly, "slightly more livable."

He frowned at her sternly. "I can't allow you to over tax yourself, Paige. You wouldn't listen to me when you got out of the hospital, but now with this new development…" He pointed vaguely at her stomach region, "I have to insist that you rest properly."

Ralph muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, 'Fantastic. Looks like I'm the slave labor again. On slave wages." He released a long-suffering sigh.

Walter turned toward the younger genius. With a sour expression on his face, he said, "Hey. I'm pitching in too. We have to look after your mother. She's in a, uh…"

"If you say the words 'delicate condition' one more time, I'll hurt you. Badly. If, for no other reason besides my personal gratification, it'll prove to you I'm strong enough to handle a little housework." Walter unwisely opened his mouth to argue further, but Paige held up one hand and interrupted with, "Do you remember that time I slapped you after the train rescue? Consider that a preview."

Ralph flashed him a sympathetic grin when Walter's eyes widened and he shut his mouth immediately.

"Good boy." Paige patted Walter on the head while he glowered at her. "Now, I'm going to find Allie and get started while you boys see if Cabe can haul you into the nearest town to get equipment and supplies. I need you both out from under my feet for a while."

Walter took a breath to make one more attempt to talk some sense into this stubborn woman.

Paige raised her eyebrows and waggled one finger back and forth before he could utter another word of protest. "Ah ah ah. Remember, when Mama's not happy, no one is happy. I won't allow you to roll me up in bubble wrap and sit me in a corner for the next eight months of my life. I'm not one to sit around and be decorative. Got it? Now scoot!" She made a shooing motion aimed at both of her guys. "Go! I'm fine."

Ralph didn't have to be told again. He dashed out the door without a backward glance. Walter, however, was more hesitant. He stopped in the doorway and gave Paige an anxious look.

She almost felt sorry for him. Almost. But she knew if she relinquished even the tiniest bit of ground, it would set a precedent and by the time the baby was born she'd be clawing at the walls and screaming like a raving lunatic.

Besides, there'd been a little too much togetherness in the last few days and Walter's fussing was starting to fray Paige's already taut nerves. He watched her every move like a hawk, making observations about what she ate and drank, reminding her to get adequate sleep, spouting pregnancy facts, constantly asking if she felt okay. She'd forgotten how grouchy she could become in the throes of hormone hell too. She only needed a couple of hours of space to restore her usual patience and to remind herself he meant well. And to tell herself this was all coming from a place of genuine love. Hadn't she longed for that kind of consideration when Drew treated her so cavalierly through her whole pregnancy with Ralph?

Just a scant few seconds after the door shut behind him, not even long enough for Paige to emit a full sigh of relief, Walter came shuffling sheepishly back inside. She bit her lip hard to keep from snapping 'What now?' at him.

He stopped directly in front of her and said, "I wanted to say I love you, uh," his eyes dropped to her abdomen, "…both of you and I forgot my kiss." He pecked her on the lips. "We'll be back as soon as we can. Is there anything specific you need?"

How about a massive chill pill? Because now she felt like a huge, grumpy jerk.

She touched her lips to his again, lingering a moment to savor the sweetness. "To apologize."

He frowned in confusion. "What for?"

Instead of answering his question directly, she said, "Nothing. You love me so well, I don't need a thing."

Walter's lop-sided smile looked pleased if not quite convinced. He moved toward the door and gave her a shy little wave as he disappeared out of sight.

Ah, would you look at that. Her aggravatingly over-protective, goofily romantic boyfriend. How was it she missed him already? It had always been like that. One minute he could, and often did, get on her last nerve with his arrogance or his controlling attitude and the next he would come back and be so kind and unsure and so irresistibly cute her heart would melt. Paige Dineen would always be drawn to Walter O'Brien. No matter what. He didn't believe in fate, but his lack of belief had never stopped fate from intervening on his behalf anyway.

About three hours later as she was emptying her fourth bucket of filthy water into the kitchen sink, she was starting to regret making Walter and Ralph leave. She could've definitely used the extra hands. Her back was aching and her nose and eyes were irritated and runny from the dust. She and Allie had barely scratched the surface.

She turned to Allie and said, "I think I could use a break. You?"

Allie had a cobweb stuck to her dark curls. "I'd offer to make tea, but I'm not sure heating anything on the stove is a good idea. Don't get me started on the dishes either. I'm pretty sure they haven't had a good wash since they came home from the store. Some time in the 80s."

"I hope our guys think to bring something for supper. Cooking is out of the question tonight." Leaving the empty bucket in the sink, Paige wiped her forehead with the back of her wrist, leaving a smudge of grime on her face. "C'mon. Sit with me for a few minutes. I'd feel bad if I was lounging around while you're still up working."

Paige collapsed on the couch and propped her feet up on the warped particle board coffee table. Allie dropped her sponge into the sink and came over to join her friend, sitting down with an exhausted groan.

Large mosquitoes circled them like blood-sucking buzzards. Paige waved them away while Allie slapped at one that landed on her arm.

"At this rate," the younger woman observed, "We'll be raisins by the time the guys get back. The bugs are enormous here!"

"I don't know which is worse. If we close the windows, the smell is overpowering. If we keep them open we risk being sucked dry."

The ladies grinned at each other, happy that misery made pleasant company in their case.

After a few moments of silent commiseration, Paige sobered. "Hey. I just realized I've never thanked you."

Allie looked surprised. "What for?"

"For doing this. For helping. For coming with us. You don't know how much I appreciate you being here."

She waved her hand dismissively. "It's nothing."

Paige's expression turned incredulous. "No. It isn't. You left your life behind to come with us. You've been a quiet voice of sanity throughout this whole ordeal. And you make Cabe so happy. I'll never be able to thank you enough for that alone. Will you have a job to go back to when all of this is over?"

"It isn't much of a life without Cabe and his little family of misfits. You've become like our kids in a way. And no worries. It wasn't much of a job either. I always hated working for Patel. He's such a jerk."

"But you put your life in danger…"

"And I'd do it again. No question." Allie reached up and patted Paige's cheek. "You're all worth it."

"What about your sister? Does she know?"

A pained grimace crossed Allie's features and she winced. "I've told her a version of the truth. She thinks I have a bad case of the middle-aged crazies, because I told her I was quitting my job to run off and travel with my boyfriend for a while."

Paige reached over and squeezed her hand. "You can eventually explain everything when we get ourselves out of this mess."

"True. Listen, I hate to ask the same question Walter asks you a thousand times a day, but how are you doing? Please let me know if I can do anything to take some stress off your plate. I'm here to help."

Paige stifled a laugh. "I'm holding up okay. The newest thing… The being pregnant thing hasn't really sunk in yet. When it does, I'm sure I'll have a full on panic attack. But right now, I'm… kinda happy about it. I know that's weird considering the circumstances. I mean, I might wish for better timing…"

"You feel how you feel. There's no right or wrong way. And it isn't weird at all to be excited about having a baby with the man you love. We're all doing everything we can to change these circumstances too. Everything's going to be fine."

The two shared hope-filled smiles.

"You know something? You'd make a great liaison… A translator for geniuses, like I am. Do you think you could handle working at Scorpion? Things do get a little hairy sometimes."

Allie laughed into her hand. "Promise not to tell?"

Paige nodded.

"I kinda like it. It's thrilling. In a terrifying way."

They both giggled like girls.

"I'll talk to Walter. We've discussed recruiting more geniuses before. Plus, if we combine Centipede's new clients with Scorpion's Homeland cases, we're going to need more help."

"That would be great."

"One more thing before I put in a good word for you though."

"What's that?"

"How did you figure out I was pregnant? I wasn't even sure. I suspect you're the one who clued Cabe in, aren't you?"

Allie's grin turned mischievous. "I may not have kids myself, but my sister has four… The symptoms are pretty hard to miss."

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Toby was wearing a look of disgust. "You just couldn't help yourself, could you 197?"

Walter stared at his friend's face on the computer screen. They'd finally managed to rig up a secure network after several days work and Toby's response was to act annoyed?

"Huh?" Walter had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to have done this time.

"First you marry my wife before I can get to her. Now you've gone and knocked up Paige. You always have to prove you're better than the rest of us, don't you?"

"I didn't realize it was a competition."

"With you, everything's a competition." Toby said bitingly.

"Well, why didn't you tell me the antibiotics would negate the effects of her birth control? You're supposed to be the doctor. Harvard trained if memory serves." Walter tapped his temple and sneered.

"Oh, so this is my fault?"

Paige walked up behind Walter and placed a calming hand on his shoulder. She waved at the good doctor then leaned forward and whispered in her boyfriend's ear. "You may want to take a step back instead of forward on this."

Walter held up one finger before muting Toby. The screen froze when the shrink held up a finger of his own. It wasn't his index finger.

Walter frowned in irritation and turned to face Paige. "But why? I didn't do anything wrong. He's angry with me for no reason."

"That's right. He is. But let's look at this from his point of view. Yes, you married Happy out of necessity. To stay in the country. But that makes Toby jealous. Jealous feelings are hardly ever logical are they? You and I both know that first hand, don't we?"

Walter nodded reluctantly.

"Jealousy often springs up because of insecurity. Like the way I was when I found out about you and Florence…"

"There was never a 'me and Florence'," Walter argued hotly.

Paige gave him a quelling look. "I know that. Now. I was insecure and jealous though, right? Then you lied and I over-reacted and we all know what happened after that. Anyway, ancient history. The point is, jealousy is rarely based in logic."

"Okay. What does that have to do with this situation?"

"You other geniuses are always ragging on Toby about having the lowest IQ on the team."

"Not… always."

"It's been mentioned many times, Walter. So he feels the need to prove himself."

"By making me feel stupid? That's… immature."

"Yes it is. I'm just trying to make you understand why he treats you the way he does sometimes."

"But it's ridiculous. He has a skill set no one else on the team can emulate."

"Have you ever told him that?" Paige asked gently.

"He should know…"

"People don't know unless you tell them, Walter."

"Oh." Walter's expression went thoughtful for a moment. "But why is he mad at me for getting you pregnant? It's stupid. It's not like I got Happy pregnant." He screwed up his face like he found the whole idea repugnant.

Paige chuckled and patted his cheek playfully. "No. But neither did he. And they tried. For months. And it's his" she made quotation marks with her fingers, "'fault'. Can you imagine why he might be feeling insecure? And lashing out? Maybe because he's really mad and disappointed in himself. Just think about it. Hone those empathy skills a little."

She kissed his forehead and went to sit down again.

Walter blinked for a few seconds, trying to absorb all the information. Then he turned back to his computer and hit resume. "Hey, Toby? Look, I'm sorry if this situation is making you feel… bad. It wasn't my intention. My goal is to be a better friend and listen to your advice more and maybe not drive you crazy so much. But, hey, I'm worried about some stuff and I could really use your expertise right now, Buddy. Do you mind if I ask you some questions?"

Paige smiled at Walter from across the room. "Proud of you," she mouthed.