Stubbornness

Lapis' P.O.V.

Prince Charming almost fucks it up. I knew that between so many good qualities and hot looks he had to have some sort of flaw. I may have found it. His stubbornness. He's just so fucking stubborn! I'm sure that when God was making him, he accidentally spilled the entire jar of stubbornness into the pot. Like, what the fuck?

I wish he would fuck it up. I want to be better than him for once. But I guess I can't complain when he says that he has everything under control. I can't completely hate him because he is my boyfriend nonetheless, I can still partially complain about every little action he makes.

It's colder now. It's not winter yet, but it's cold. Yet I still don't wear another sweater. I don't want to be carrying my sweater around during the school day, especially during lunch. It'll just get dirty and all that. Besides, it doesn't feel that cold.

During lunch, everything was going great. Amethyst, Sapphire, and Ruby were here and we were just talking and stuff. Peridot wasn't in lunch yet because some stupid teacher told him to stay because she was going to reprimand him or something. It will all be in vain. My fucking badass boyfriend is that. A fucking badass idiot. He doesn't get shit. Either way, I guess I still like him like that.

I got lunch, but just because they were giving cookies with the food. I throw everything else out.

Amethyst, like her normal self, tries to take my small packet of cookies. I slap her hand away. Because of bitch, you don't fucking mess with my fucking cookies. Or any other bitch's food for the matter of fact. Unless it's school food. That's the exception.

"Hey!" she says as she rubs her hand.

"No! Don't touch my cookies!" I say.

"Bitch. Like I want your cookies, " Amethyst says. Sapphire smiles for some reason.

"But you do, " I say.

"But I don't, " she answers.

"But you do, "

"But I don't, "

"But you do, "

"I'm too lazy to keep going, " she finally says, "By the way, where's Peridot?"

"With a teacher, " I respond.

"And how do you know?" Ruby out of nowhere asks.

"Because I have a class before lunch with him, " I say slowly.

"Likely story, " Ruby responds.

The fuck?

"Okay, " I say unsure of what the fuck is going on.

"Lapis speaks the truth. Peridot will arrive in two minutes, " Sapphire says.

We continue to have normal conversations all teenagers have. Amethyst talks to us while she does her social studies homework. She eventually asks me for mine but I tell her no. It's not even that fucking hard.

"What's up?" Peridot asks as he comes to our table.

I turn to look at him and smile. Then, he puts his hand on my head which makes my bangs cover my eyes. Peridot settles down next to me only after making my hair a mess. Not like it wasn't already.

"So, Peridot, what happened this time?" Amethyst asks.

"Same old, same old, " he simply responds, "What are you guys doing? Apart from harassing one another, "

"Oh, nothing, " Amethyst responds.

"Just converting oxygen into carbon dioxide through a complex mechanism in our physical skin capsules then releasing it into the air for non-mobile organisms to use as a replacement for said oxygen, " Sapphire chimes in.

"Okay, " Peridot says looking at her skeptically. I also have my doubts about Sapphire.

She is too quiet, too sophisticated, too accurate, too...Sapphire. Like, what the fuck? And apart from that, she's pretty too. She may be small, but she is literally perfect, like bitch, are you purposely trying to make me feel bad about myself?

And then there's Ruby.

"Oh, yeah! I forgot. I got to tell you guys-" Amethyst starts.

"Rehearsals are canceled, " Sapphire finishes calmly for the pace at which Amethyst was speaking.

"Really?" I ask, "Why?"

Blue's boyfriend is a theatre nerd. I would guess even the director of the best musical ever would cancel their entire show before Jamie would cancel a single rehearsal.

"Something about a personal problem, " she says which really answers no question.

"Personal?" I ask.

"Yeah, something like that, * she answers.

Personal. I know a problem or two Jamie may have that might be personal.

Blue is the first person that comes to my mind. She told me that Jamie kept ignoring her because he was so fixed on the musical, the music, the dance, and everything that has to do with the stage that their relationship is now hanging off of a thing string.

I take my phone out of my pocket and start texting Blue, but then think better of it. Blue might want privacy. And I don't want to invade it. Perhaps no one else really knows about what is going on between them. She has kept her word and has kept Peridot and my relationship a secret, so I should also be considerate and give her space and not tell anyone else about it unless she herself says something first. Though if I were her I would be pretty bummed that my boyfriend would be ignoring me for the exchange of a few fake words and cursing songs. Especially those that include unfaithful husbands. That would be really fucked up, to be honest. I really hope Jamie comes to his senses. Or at least one of them. That would be a huge improvement.

"Okay, " I smile when I say it.

"What are you smiling about?" Ruby asks.

"Nothing, " I respond, though I still can't stop myself from smiling. If the cancelation of this rehearsal is due to Jamie problem's with Blue, then I am satisfied knowing that Blue is finally confronting the problem and Jamie is getting a piece of her mind.

"Are you sure?" Peridot asks. He knows I know something. But it's not my place to tell. Besides, I don't know if it's actually true or if it may be for a different reason that rehearsals were canceled. I don't want to spread rumors that aren't true.

"Yeah. I was just thinking of something else, " I say. I love knowing things that other people don't. Well, some things. Peridot grabs my hand under the table and squeezes it and I know he wants me to tell him later. It's kind of ironic how he's been here longer yet I don't think he knows about Blue and Jamie's problems. But I don't mind filling him in. I don't have secrets from my boyfriend. Besides, he won't tell anyone.

"Well, we should be thinking about what we should do now that there are no rehearsals after school, " Amethyst says, "I think we should go get food, "

"Pizza!" Ruby says.

"And Carvel!" Amethyst adds.

I look at Peridot and we're both thinking the same thing. We have other plans.

It's not that I don't want to be near other people, I just don't like to be near other people. Other people that aren't my boyfriend or my dog. Even Peridot is a stretch. Jane is perfect. The pure embodiment of flawless perfection. Peridot is the embodiment of flawlessly handsome idiocy. My green knight in leather armor. Eww. That does not fit him.

"Hard pass but I have something to do, " Peridot says.

"I'll have to pass too, " I say. Amethyst looks at us suspiciously. Ruby, even though she barely ever pay attention to us, also glances at Peridot and me as if we were guilty of doing something that no one knew about. And maybe we are, but looks at us as we gave done something wrong.

"What a coincidence that both of you have something to do after school today when there are no rehearsals, " Amethyst says.

"I never said I had something to do. Just that I would pass the pizza and Carvel, " I clear up.

"Well, why are you passing pizza and Carvel?" Ruby asks me.

"Because I don't feel like it, " I answer getting annoyed.

"Why?" Amethyst adds.

"Because I don't fucking want to!" I say. Amethyst and Ruby look at each other and nod.

"Very aggressive, " Ruby points out.

"Probably on her period, " Amethyst assumes, "We'll let it pass, "

My face reddens.

"What about you, Peridot?" Ruby asks turning to face him.

"What about me?" he asks.

"What do you have to do that is more important than pizza and Carvel?" Amethyst asks.

"As I said. Something, " Peridot replies.

"I believe you, " Amethyst says after an extremely brief moment of hesitation.

"Huh?" Ruby so cluelessly asks. I squint my eyes and let my mouth hang slightly open. The fuck? That is my fucking boyfriend. No one lets him off the hook but me. I think. Something like that. And also, why me?

"It's settled then, " Peridot says.

I can't help but feel jealous. I know I shouldn't. He's made it very clear that he loves me and that I have nothing to worry about, but still. Amethyst isn't someone I should be jealous of. I'm not saying she's not pretty or lovable or anything like that, just not the kind of girl that I would feel Peridot would go out of his way to do stuff for as he does for me. I know feeling jealous is stupid when Peridot knows very well how to keep himself in check. Sometimes. But I know very well I can lose him under the right circumstances. If everything goes wrong, I could lose him. I know I'm not as pretty as other girls and at times hard to deal with, so I can't help but feel it. It burns me. If I'm not good enough, I can lose the love of my life. And the feeling of incompetence is a really bad thing to feel. Seeing things unfold slowly in front of you, but not being able to stop it. Not having the power or will. It feels terrible. I try to push all those thoughts away. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me and only me.

"I'll text Luke and Scarlett and Steven and Connie too, " Amethyst announces.

The rest of the day goes on. And my mood shifts from kind of crazy to emotionally scattered. It's funny how such a tiny thing could cause so much damage and change one's thoughts, feelings, and actions so drastically.

He loves me. But what about me. Of course, I like him and may even say I do love him, but would he be willing to spend the rest of his life with someone like me? I'm insecure and depressed and was at one point suicidal and it's hard for me to change my mind over something and I'm hard to talk to sometimes. Would Peridot really stay with me when I'm so pathetic?

And what about the fact that I was raped? Peridot and I have made out on a couple of occasions because we both just want it, we feel it, we're just another pair of stupid teenagers driven by hormones. But I'm still very wary. I'm aware of where his hands go, how far his lips go, and how strongly he holds me. I'm aware of everything and I hesitate sometimes. The trauma burns in my brain and body every time I let him touch me. Even if he is only hugging me or holding my hand. It feels nice but at the same time, I can't help but feel so afraid. What if I can't do it with him? What if one-day Peridot and I attempt to have sex and I totally freak out? Would I be so selfish as to tie him to me when I won't be able to respond to him as his girlfriend or one day maybe even as his wife?

Then there is also my HIV. He did something I didn't think he would do when he accepted me with such an important and big flaw. He made me feel loved and valued and not like a piece of shit. But until where will that teenage love last? If we ever do try and succeed at having sex, what about my HIV? We'd always live in fear that somehow in some rare and bad situation, I would have infected him. I wouldn't be able to carry on with the guilt of knowing that I may have ruined his life. I can't tie him to me. And what if we have children? I would be defining a child's life before it even started. I would never be able to live with the guilt of ruining my own child's life even though I sincerely do hope one day I do have children regardless of everything I say. There are so many reasons why I can lose him and I hope all of them are ridiculous enough to be purely scenario is in my head and nothing more.

"You okay?"

I look up at Peridot as we walk down to my house. His hand burns like acid against my hand when I remember all of the reasons I'm not good enough for him.

"Yeah, just thinking, " I respond in a low voice.

"About?"

"Stuff, " I respond.

"What kind of stuff?" he asks.

"Stuff that shouldn't ruin our afternoon, " I say as I put my other hand on his bicep.

"Okay, " he responds. He must be thinking too. He always insists more until he gets an answer. I wonder if he's thinking about his mother's pregnancy again. He hasn't spoken about the subject ever since he cried to me and broke down. To be honest, even though I don't want him to be upset, I like that he is sensible. But again, I don't want to bring up the subject and remind him of all the bad stuff that has happened to him.

"So where are we going?" I ask him.

"Well, I'm taking you for dinner, " he answers.

"It's like three, " I respond trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, well I want to take my girl to dinner so right now, it's dinner time, " Peridot says. I'm his girl. It makes me smile. And he's my man. Mine.

"Okay, " I say though the idea of going out in public where the possibility of people seeing us and realizing that we're a couple is a lot greater. But if I'm being honest, I don't care about that right now. It's the least of my priorities.

"Where are we going for dinner?" I am.

"This nice place in front of the mall, " he says.

"Beach City has a mall?" I ask.

"Of course! It's kind of big for such a tiny city actually, " he adds.

We talk like that until we teach my house and Jane greets us like she always does spinning and standing though she gives mostly me all the attention and ignores Peridot. That makes me smile. Things don't have to change. It could be like this all the time. Peridot being his usual reckless and deep loving self, Jane ignoring Peridot and being beautifully amazing, the house being big and quiet, and us being together without worrying. For now at least.

We leave our backpacks in my room and I go give Jane some food while Peridot used the bathroom and gets ready for our date. Though I wouldn't really refer to it as a date because we hang out every single day.

As Jane eats, I close the cabinet, but not before glancing at my pills. I'm reminded of all the bad things that could happen if I didn't have them. They're the only thing keeping me alive. It's funny how my entire life depends on such tiny things. What's not funny is how much I need them. I'd probably be dead if it weren't for them. I hate how much I depend on them. It reminds of how limited I really am. Of how fragile my life is under the mask of a pill. It makes me feel alien under my own skin. If I had been born in a different time, I would also be dead. If I had been born before the pills before science had advanced so much, I'd probably be dead and my parents disgraced. Maybe if I was born in the future, perhaps there would be a cure for this. I would be a normal girl again. I wouldn't be so insecure and Peridot and I could be together without my insecurities and fears. But it doesn't exist and I absolutely hate it. I feel incompetent about everything. I have this and I can't get rid of it, I can't change and I can't just forget what happened to me and get rid of my trauma and stop being afraid. That's not how things work. Not everything is that easy. If it were, then life wouldn't be so hard and unfair. Innocents wouldn't die and those guilty wouldn't prevail. And love, love wouldn't be so complicated. It wouldn't be a bet. It wouldn't be a win or lose. It would just be love.

When Peridot comes downstairs all I want is to hug him and to stay here with him. I want us to stay here and for him to remind me how much he loved me. How much I'm worth to him. I want him to hold me and tell me that he loves me. Though I still hesitate, I don't want to go out and I want him to run his fingers through my hair, and I want him to tell me the beautiful things he tells me when we make out. Beautiful things like how much I mean to him, things we could do in the future when we're older, and other things that make life seem beautiful. Nothing like the things those guys said to me when I was raped. They said brutal disgusting things. But Peridot is nothing like them. He is gentler. He loves me.

"Ready?" he asks. I nod as I put Jane's water bowl down next to her food bowl. I put my hand on her head and rub the back of her ears slightly.

"Be right back, " I say. I then take my phone and keys and both Peridot and me leave. Once we leave, Peridot takes my hand and pulls me down the street.

"Okay, now tell me. What do you know about rehearsals being canceled?" he asks me.

"Well, I may be wrong, but Blue and Jamie have been having relationship problems. Jamie is too focused on the musical and all that, " I try my best to explain.

"The typical Jamie problem, " he says. I nod.

"You know, they have this problem every year since they got together, which has been since like ninth grade, " he says.

"Every year?" I ask.

"Yeah. Their relationship is like a bad rollercoaster," Peridot explains.

"I guess. I don't know. Do you think that could be why Jamie canceled rehearsals? Because Blue talked to him?" I ask. He looks at me and hesitates.

"I don't know. If they talk, they're probably going to stay the same. Things might change for the first few days, but things will continue to be the same, " he says, almost in a depressed way, "But if the personal problem is his relationship with Blue, then I guess she kind of won, for once. She got him to cancel rehearsals, " he says smiling.

"True, " I respond.

"You know, I would cancel rehearsal for you, " he says. I lift my head to meet his eyes.

"Wow, really? But that's like, such a big deal, " I sarcastically say while smiling.

"Well, to me, nothing is a bigger deal than this tiny little blue-haired maiden, " he says as he takes his hand from mine and messed hair up yet again. I only smile put my elbow about his arm.

When we arrive at the diner or restaurant or whatever, after like fifteen minutes of walking, he opens the door for me and I realize there are a lot of people. There are about two couples and three families waiting like us. When the hostess asks Peridot for the name for our table or whatever, he immediately says my name without hesitation. My last name anyway. We're told to wait for a minimum of fifteen minutes.

He intertwines his fingers with mine and leads me to a corner as we wait. He plays with my hair and tells me all that cliche shit about loving me and all of that. Even though it is cliche and everything, I love that he tells me how much I'm worth to him. That I'm worth so much. It reminds me that I'm worth enough to be loved. In seven years he hasn't loved another girl as he loves me. It took seven years for us to realize who we were but we did. And I'm happy. What fits within the context of the word anyway. But I'm happy. There's a boy who loves me and accepts me with my traumas and my virus and everything.

They call my last name and it's the first time someone who is not Peridot says my last name when referring to me. Even though they aren't referring to me directly.

The hostess leads us to our table and we follow. Once we get there, Peridot can't decide whether to sit next to me or on the other side and I literally can't think of any dumber situation.

"Just sit anywhere, " I say. He crosses his arms and puts a hand on his chin as if thinking but I know he's just being dramatic. I roll my eyes when he finally decides and plops down next to me. A waiter comes and leaves the menus for us.

"Have you come here before?" I ask him.

"No, " he responds.

"So then if you haven't come here before, how do you know the food is good?" I ask.

"That's why there's a first time for everything. Besides, why not share such a wonderful experience with my girlfriend, " he says.

"You better know what's good to eat here, Peridot Diamond, " I say as I search through the menu.

"I'm sure there's good food. If not, I wouldn't have brought you here. If you don't like anything, I'll buy you anything you want, " he says. I raise am eyebrow.

"Anything?" I ask.

"Anything, " he answers looking at me in the eye.

"Okay, " I say making it my mission to hate absolutely everything regardless if I like it or not.

When the waiter comes and asks if we're ready to order our drinks. We both get a blueberry something drink, I don't get the time to see the name of the drink as Peridot orders for both of us. The waiter asks us if we are ready to order or if want more time. I respond that we need more time before Peridot has the time to order the first thing on the menu for both of us.

We look through the menu and I find myself looking at a pasta that sounds very good. Though of course, I won't say that. I want to know how much Peridot is willing to lose. In a good sense. I'm not a gold digger.

"What do you think?" Peridot asks me.

"Mhh. I might get a Fettuccini Alfredo pasta. With chicken, " I respond.

"Fettuccini Alfredo? Why? Not to coast or anything, but I'm sure the one I make is much better than restaurant pasta, " he says.

"You cook actual food?" I ask genuinely doubting my boyfriend's ability to cook.

"As you see me Lazuli, I am a master chef, " Prince Charming says.

"Prince Charming is a chef? I'd have to see that for myself, " I say raising an eyebrow. He accepts the challenge with a smirk.

"Then I owe you a fancy dinner with pasta by yours truly, " he says as he puts a hand over his chest. I giggle. I still can't believe such a fictional guy as Peridot is real, and he's my boyfriend. He's perfect. Kind of annoying and a pain in my ass, but perfect.

"So what are you going to get?" I ask him.

"I don't know. How about...I don't know. I'll ask the waiter what he recommends, " Peridot says.

And so Prince Charming does so. The waiter comes and Peridot asks him what he recommends. The waiter is new, so he is honest and says he doesn't know much but that he would recommend some dish in what sounds like gibberish but Peridot manages to understand the strange and mysterious language of mumbles. He pretends to think for a moment before saying he wants that. When the waiter asks for my order, I simply say that I want my Fettuccini Alfredo. With chicken. I think he's relieved that I didn't ask what he recommended. I would be too.

Our drinks arrive after like eight minutes. My blueberry drink tastes like seltzer and blueberries mixed with honey. And to be honest, I absolutely love it. But I can't let Peridot know that now can I?

"Do you like it?" he asks. I pretend to think for a moment.

"Nope, " I say.

"Then why do you keep drinking it?" he asks.

"Because I am thirsty, " I respond as I take another sip and put it down.

We are brought appetizers which are basically just bread with cheese inside. I'm kind of glad we came to eat because I don't realize how I'm starving until I start eating the appetizers.

"Damn. If you eat like the not only am I gonna go broke but you're going to gain everything you lost these last seven years, " he says. As I chew my food, I turn to Peridot and speak through a full mouth.

"Fuck you, " I say as I continue to eat like the fucking Queen I am. Queen of my eating situation, anyhow.

Though I've gained a couple of pounds, I still need to gain another ton or do to not be considered underweight. Even Jane weighs more than me. Only now do I realize that is an actual problem when Peridot points it out. It very different when your friends or boyfriend says it to when your parents/family or doctors do. Sometimes I feel like they just want to fuck my life up because theirs is fucked up too.

"They say to never interrupt a lion while it's eating, " he says. Once I finish chewing, I feel like a brick is flowing down my throat but I still feel good. I turn to him hook my arm around his.

"Well, I'm your girlfriend. And whatever a lion can do, I can do a lot worse, " I say while cuddling his arm.

"You know, sometimes you do scare me, " he says while caressing my jaw and neck. Even though I am still very wary of the whole affection thing in public and people finding out about our relationship thing, I am very flattered by how much he loves me and how he doesn't care about other people seeing or judging him. He doesn't care how flawed I am, he just loves me because he wants to. He gladly risks everything for me without hesitating. I would love to have such courage.

"You wish I could say the same about you, " I respond. He takes his arm from mine and puts it around me, his hand at my waist.

"Not really. I prefer to please my girlfriend rather than go scare her, " Prince Charming whispers. I blush at the thought of us two alone in my bedroom. We don't have sex, obviously. But we're not holy children either. The hickey on my collarbone from two days presses against my skin reminding me of how once I was horrified of the thought of even breathing the same air as Peridot. Now, we make out almost daily. I guess actually doing it is a lot more pleasurable than asking yourself if this is how fast you can change your mind changes about such things.

"Is anyone from school here?" I ask, trying to change the subject. He separates and glances around the diner.

"No. Would it matter?" Peridot asks.

"Depends on who it is, " I answer.

"Would you make me leave if they was someone from school here?" he asks.

"Of course. I still don't want anyone to know we're a thing, " I say.

"A thing. Wow. Is that what we are? A materialistic object?" he asks me.

"Well, no, but, like, umm, you get it, " I say.

"Do I?" he asks.

"Of course you do you fucking idiot!" I say.

"No cursing, Lazuli. There are children here, " Peridot says as he puts an arm around my waist.

"Fuck you, " I whisper.

"I could answer you back with a direct response but seeing you be all annoyed and everything, I find it attractive and kind of sexy, " he winks at me which only makes me blush even more.

"Fuck you, " I repeat.

"I love you too, " he whispers.

Our food comes after many curse exchanges. Me doing most of the cursing. Okay, all of the cursing. And Prince Charming just being Prince Charming. A annoyingly charming idiot.

When our food is on our table, I proceed to put a lot of cheese on my pasta and mix it all as the cloud of hot steam rises from the plate and into the air. I take my fork and stuff a bunch of pasta with chicken into my mouth. It's hot and I regret doing that but I still chew and swallow. Then, even though I almost died because the food was burning my throat, I stuff more food into my mouth.

"Do you like it?" he asks me.

The "No, " I respond.

"They why are you still eating it?" he asks.

"Because when one is hungry, one will eat anything, " I say using my eternal and amazing wisdom. As if.

"Oh enlighten me, wise one, " he says playfully. I smile gladly giving in.

"Oh you peasant will need more than my wisdom to be enlightened, " I say doing what I think is a pathetic British accent. I wonder if Scarlett think us Americans have an accent. She's American too, but I just wonder if she thinks people who don't have accents, actually have an accent.

"I don't think you can be enlightened at all, " I finish. He smirks. He smirks.

"Says the girl that keeps calling me Prince Charming, " he says.

"Yeah, the same girl you kept insisting on being your girlfriend. We both made mistakes, Prince Charming, " I say.

"You being my girlfriend is not a mistake. The Prince Charming thing, that's kind of debatable, " he says.

"You're debatable, " I respond.

"My existence, feelings, and thoughts are debatable?" Peridot asks raising and eyebrow.

"Yeah, " I say.

"If you were right and my existence was debatable than you wouldn't be my girlfriend, " he says.

"Well, no because you wouldn't exist, " I say.

"No exactly. More like you wouldn't trust me since my feelings and intentions would be debatable and so you would have never agreed to be my girlfriend, " he explains.

"Sometimes I wish you didn't have such a big brain, " I comment. He only smirks.

"If I wasn't so smart, you'd be failing math and science, " he says.

"I would actually take the time to search it up, thank you very much, " I say, "But you come over, so I don't have all that time, therefore copying you is the next best thing I could do."

"I am very smart, Lazuli, " he says.

"And I never said you weren't, " I reply.

We finish eating which is in like an hour which I believe to be too much time when Peridot and I start arguing yet again. I remember when only a couple of months again when I still hated him and we would only argue and argue all the time and I absolutely loathed his smirk. I kind of miss those days now.

We start arguing about who will pay the check. I get it, he wants to be the usual guy in dates who wants to pay everything. But no. Not happening. I will be paying for at least half of it.

"Just let me pay the check, " he says.

"No. We'll split it, "

"Come on. Most girls just accept it, Lazuli. Just let me pay the fucking check, " he insists.

"Well, I am not most girls who just are just fucking cheap asses and want the guy to pay everything, Peridot. Stop the chivalry. It's getting old, " I say. The poor new waiter just stands there waiting for someone to pay and give tips.

"I pay the check, you give the tip, " he says.

"Fuck you. How much is the check?" I ask as I take my phone out where I randomly carry a bunch of dollar bills.

Actually, to be honest. We still fight a lot. So, I guess I can't miss those days.

Even though he keeps being stubborn and insisting he pay for everything, I defy him and pay for half of the check and he pays for the other half and gives the tips. I smile at him as I put my money on the check pad. He looks an angry four-year-old who gives the silent treatment when he doesn't get what he wants. Which is practically what happened. I put my hand on his arm and place a very small and brief kiss on his cheek. Once I do that, he smirks and I immediately regret it.

"How about a little more to the right, " he suggests. I blush.

"My right is towards the seat, dumbass, " I say smacking his arm and hoping I don't look like an idiot. I'm not lying because if I am facing Peridot, my right is to the back of the seat.

"You're very funny, Lazuli, " he says.

"Not funny, just very smart, " I answer.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever you say, " he puts a hand on my head and messes my hair up once again, "Do you want to go to the mall?"

"The mall? Why?" I ask.

"I don't know. I want to buy you something, " he says. Regardless of the flattery that involves my boyfriend wanting to pay the check and buy me things, I cannot allow him to use his money on such trivial things. Especially if they are things I do not need.

"But I don't need anything, " I respond.

"I don't care if you don't need it. I want to but you some thing. Think of it as a christmas gift that you pick out but I pay, " he says.

"It's not Christmas, " I answer.

"Sometimes, just sometimes, you are very boring, " he says.

"Fuck you, " I answer.

While there are dialogue exchanges between the two of us, we leave the diner and I unconsciously follow him into the mall. It's not my intention to, but I do anyway.

Peridot is one of those people that when you're having a conversation with them, it's just so easy to get lost in it. Time passes faster, you talk about random topics that you didn't think you could make a conversation out of and different things like that happen. I'm not saying that he's so charming he could just kidnap me or something, it's just so interesting. Even before I considered him an acquaintance, fighting with him was so interesting as it was annoying and infuriating.

Peridot and I walk through the hoards of people at the mall who are probably buying things they don't need while we just walk and I look around hoping we don't randomly find ourselves in an awkward situation where a friend from school is here and sees us together holding hands which we later have to explain that it is a completely normal thing for a male friend and a female friend to hang out together and alone in a mall while holding hands.

Yeah. Because they'll totally believe that, Lazuli.

Fuck you inside voice.

We walk around looking at things we want but don't need. If every time I saw something I wanted, I bought it, I'd probably be living in a mud penthouse. Let's be honest. I am a simple girl who doesn't use extravagant clothes or expensive jewelry or those trending shoes and stuff. I am a simple girl who uses jeans, white sneakers, and a blue hoodie every single day. Of course, I have different pairs of jeans and a couple of other pairs of shoes and other blue hoodies in case one of them is dirty, but I'm still a girl. I like to look good under my hoodie. Sometimes I just shove on any shirt and sometimes I like to match together my bra my underwear and my shirt. It's just how I work. Once in a while I like to just look at myself in the mirror and tell myself that I look decent.

"Are you sure you don't want anything?" Peridot asks me.

"I am completely sure, " I respond.

"How about a bracelet? Or a a necklace? Or a ring?" he asks.

"A ring? We're not getting married! We're teenagers, " I look at him fully, "Well, I'm a teenager. You're practically an adult."

"I am very responsible, " he says praising himself.

"No, in that category you're a hormonal teenager. You just look like an adult, " I explain.

"Okay. But regardless of all of that, I want to buy you something, Lazuli!" he says.

"I told you Prince Charming, I don't need anything, " I tell him.

"It's not about needing Lazuli. Once in a while, you just have to treat yourself to whatever you want, " he says.

"No I don't, " I answer.

"Just let me treat you!" he insists. He's so fucking stubborn.

"No" I say.

"Come on!" he says, smiling.

"You're so fucking stubborn!" I say. He smiles as if proud of that.

"That's a synonym for determined, " he says.

"It's really cute how you think your stubbornness is going to get you anywhere, " I tell him. He shakes it off and continues to grin. He puts his arm around my waist and pulls me closer.

"I'll keep insisting. I will keep insisting later and tomorrow and next week until you give in, " he says, "Maybe I'll even make you a deal."

That intrigues me "What deal?"

He grins with that mischievous grin of his that I so love to hate.

"I'll stop insisting on buying you something, for a kiss, " he says. My face reddens. We do more than that.

"So, do I get to choose my gift or is it whatever you want?" I ask. He grins once again.

"I'll tell you what, and I'll give you options, " he says.

"Okay," I say.

Why didn't I guess? Of course, it was going to have something to do with jewelry. Peridot is just so typical. Of course, this guy is going to but something is going to want to buy expensive and unnecessary things.

At the mall, there are stores on all four floors. However, apart from those stores there are also small stands in the middle of the mall that have different things. Some are for phone, others are for T-shirts, and food and stuff. But there are always a few that are for jewelry specifically. A bunch of earrings, necklaces, rings, bracelets, and all that stuff.

Most of it looks nice. Some look too simple while others look like too much. I'm sure queens are use to wearing a lot more elegant and heavy things stuffed with jewels and precious stones and stuff that suffocates me with just looking at it.

"Does it have to be jewelry?" I ask.

"Unless you're rethinking my other proposal, " he says. I shake my head and let it be. It's better not to argue. If I do, I'll waste my time and never win.

I look through all the choices. Many different options to choose from though if I'm being honest, there's too many I like and others I don't. I definitely like the silver looking ones than the gold looking ones.

"See anything you like?" Peridot asks me.

"Uh.." to be honest, one of the reasons I don't like going to jewelry stores, or anything of the matter is that there are a few times I actually like something, but it either doesn't fit me, I like too many things, or I just can't afford it(more like I'm too lazy to wait in line). The point is that it's really awkward to have Peridot buy me something. I know he's my secret boyfriend and wants to be the typical boyfriend that gets his girl stuff and is like super romantic and stuff, but it's still awkward and so cliche regardless of how much is flatters me. Besides, I don't want to take advantage of his financial situation because no matter how many times he denies it or the reasons he gives to justify his denial, he still is rich as hell. He may love me as much as he says, but even he doubted me as I have doubted him and continue to do so so many times. He doesn't deserve my doubts, but I can't help but have them.

I wonder if Pearl actually loves him or if she just likes him because of his looks and his money. To find a guy that is handsome and hot, a guy that is a fucking badass that knows when to control himself, a guy that is your same age and healthy and not only that, but is also loaded, that's rare. Apart from all of that, he loves and respects me as his girlfriend. That's rare. Prince Charming lives up to his name, he's a diamond. A beautiful and rare diamond that so many people would give so much to have. How lucky am I that he loves and accepts me? I've been told that he met Pearl when he moved and she immediately became obsessed with him, I winder if he really didn't give her reasons too. After all, he didn't know if he was ever going to see me again and she was right there throwing herself on him. I guess perhaps that's why he didn't like her. She keeps throwing herself onto him while I give myself to respect and demand my personal space. Even if he doesn't listen.

"So, which one?" he asks again. The woman that is in charge of the establishment comes over and starts telling us the different prices of different things and to my surprise, they are not that expensive. I think that's Peridot's favorite part even though he doesn't say anything. That would definitely be my favorite part if I were the one paying.

"Come on, Lazuli. Money is money, but time is precious, " he says.

"Well if you're in a hurry, then you pick, " I say. He smirks.

"Nevermind. Forget I said that, " I say. I take in my hand a silver chain necklace that has a tiny teardrop charm. While the chain is silver, the charm is dark blue. It looks nice, but there are so many others to choose from. I hold the charm between my fingers as I glance at the other ones.

"That one is pretty, " Peridot says as he glances at the one in my hands. The woman comes back to us and also glances at my hands.

"It is. I just got it today! Stainless steel it is, it stays in the same condition as this. You can a shower with it and it won't fade. But beware of chemicals, any metal wears and fades with chemicals. But it is very pretty. Do you know the choker necklaces? Yes, it is almost like that, " she says. She continues to speak but I only half listen. Once she is done, Peridot takes the necklace from my hands and observes it.

"Do you like this one, or do you want to keep looking?" he asks me. In all sincerity, I want to say that I do love it, but it is still strange to have him buy me something.

I blush as I nod.

"How much?" Peridot asks the woman as he gestures to the necklace.

"Thirty-five dollars, " she says. Peridot takes his wallet out and pays her. She gives him five dollars change. She offers a bag but we politely wave her off, thank her, and leave. Peridot takes my hand and pulls me to the side.

"Turn around, " he says. I do so as he brings the necklace up to my face and the cold steel wraps around my neck. He clips it together from the back and it wraps around the base of my neck as a choker would. The blue charm stands out and is noticeable even though I have my hoodie on. I turn back around and he looks down on me, admiring me.

"It suits you, " he whispers. His words flow through the enormous chamber full of life and people, but he doesn't say it for them, they fall on my ears and my ears only.

"I need to use the bathroom, " I say abruptly. He nods and looks around.

"Over there, " he gestures across the mall.

He waits for me outside while I attend to my business inside. The bathroom is no better than those in school. The paper is cheap, the bathroom stalls are dirty. I can't believe how some people don't flush the toilet or how some stalls don't have a trashcan. They don't want us to throw our stuff into the toilet but they put no trash cans. Thankfully, I get a stall with a trash can so I don't have to worry about that.

I do my business even though it was really just an excuse because it all felt so weird. Sure, I'm happy, but it still feels strange. I look through the mirror at the necklace on my neck as I wash my hands. It might not be much, but it feels like a diamond. It's a trinket I shall forever treasure like the English crown jewels.

As I try to dry my hands on my sweater and pants my feet move at my command. I head for the door but when I look, I immediately turn back with my back against the wall and a hand over my chest. Fuck.

I attempt to glance as Peridot tries to convince Amethyst, Sapphire, Ruby, Steven, Connie, Scarlett, and Luke that he is here alone. Yet they continue to flock around him and insinuate that he is here with a girl. It is true, but we can't tell them that. If they see me coming out it will be the end. Luke eyes Peridot suspiciously and I fear that my secret boyfriend may have told his brother more than he should have.

I watch as Peridot attempts to sway them and fails. They circle him and ask him questions which I can perfectly hear.

"You sure? You have a girlfriend don't you?" Amethyst asks while the others begin to ponder on the idea.

"Oh, my fuck! Is it Lapis? Where is she?" Scarlett says. Prince Charming is starting to lose control of the situation.

"It's not Lazuli, " he says so casually.

"Really?" Steven asks.

"But you don't deny you have a girlfriend?" Ruby asks. Prince Charming smirks as he looks behind their shoulders towards me. He does so in a discreet manner as to not let them know I'm here. It's that smirk that let's me know he knows how to play it off, but it lets me know I won't like it. He doesn't look guilty at all.

"Yes, I do have a girlfriend, " he says. Everyone if them starts asking questions and I mentally strangle him. I'm going to beat the shit out of him.

"Lapis?" Luke asks. This kid is way too smart.

"No. And I won't tell you, " he says. If he won't tell them who I am then why would he tell them that he has girlfriend? He's a fucking idiot! That's why!

"Then will you tell us about her?" Scarlett asks.

He smirks and they notice.

"Well what can I say?" he asks before continuing. Fucking shit. "She's amazing and beautiful and she copies off of me, but she's smart."

"Then she's also very modest and what can I say? She's too good to even begin to attempt to describe her, " I'm going to kill him.

"You're in l-love!" Luke says. He wears the smile only the Diamond brothers can wear perfectly. The one wear they know what's going on. He's fucking dead. Dead and crazy.

"You got to present this girl to us, " Amethyst says in a sly way.

That is when I realize I got to get the fuck out of here. There's a lot of people coming and going out. I wait for a tall woman and her two tall daughters to start leaving. I put my hood on and leave with them. I hear as Peridot tries to convince them to leave and I literally have no clue how he's got this under control.

The mother and daughters notice me but they say nothing when they also notice Amethyst ranting names of who his lover might be. In fact, they huddle closer together, covering me. I am grateful eternally grateful because the only thing more awkward than a mother and her daughters asking me why I'm sneaking next to them is to have all of my friends see me and figure out that that I'm Prince Charming's secret lover.

"Well, I better get going. Don't want to keep the Queen of my heart waiting, " he says as he steps back and puts a hand over his chest, where his heart is. I'm going to kill this son of a bitch.

"Peridot!" Amethyst yells.

I turn and thank the mother and daughters. They are so fucking tall, next to them, I look like a beetle. But they're so cool about it. They ask me if that was my boyfriend and if our relationship was a secret. Even though I shouldn't tell any stranger about my personal life, I respond sincerely. I thank them again and they leave.

I walk into a clothing store that is right next to the bathroom to wait for Peridot. My heart hammers against my rib cage and I can hear the thumping of it in my ears. It's kind of funny actually. I laugh even though I almost got my ass busted just now.

I pretend to be looking through clothes in the back when Peridot comes in and I stop faking to like shopping.

"I'm going to kill you, " I tell him. He doesn't seem to care.

"But we just got together like a month ago, " he complains with that smirk.

"Luke knows, doesn't he?" I ask.

"Lazuli, I told him that I love you, I didn't tell him that we are dating. If he put two and two together, that's not my fault. It's simply my brother, " he says with pride.

"Anyone with half a brain cell can out two and two together!" I say.

It's simply my brother. Fucking idiot. Just because he is smart and Luke is his brother, doesn't mean that Luke is smart too. I mean, Luke is smart, but I'm sure that being brothers have nothing to do with it. Anyone with half a brain can see the connection as Amethyst and Scarlett and the others have. I'm sure Sapphire will soon figure it out.

"Well, we better get out of here before they do, " he adds. Now that, I can agree on.