Aziraphale is our hero here if you haven't figured it out yet. So valiant. So soft. So... angelic! lol
Thank you Azeran and Intergalacticsupertwink for the incredible beta work. I swear, if I published this without you guys, I'd look like an imbecile.
I hope you're all staying safe out there! I've heard some crazy stories. I know being cooped up sucks but your health is number 1! I'm doing my best to post every day to help us all forget the bullshit going on even if it's just a handful of minutes.
XOXO
OKAY! HERE WE GO! Aziraphale is about to WIG out!
"Shit! Oh, shit!" Aziraphale exclaims and drops Angelique's identification as if it's imbued with Hellfire.
"Sir," Aziraphale spins around and holds his hands up in surrender, finding a nurse in the doorway. "Mind your tongue and volume please, you're disturbing the other patients." The man tsks and walks off with a huff.
Aziraphale looks around wildly. Fear comes upon him in full. He fumbles around, not knowing what to do first. He starts with running to the door and shutting it. Then he rushes in a panic to the window and closes the curtains. Then he tugs on his blond curls, almost ripping his hair out completely.
"Why?!" Aziraphale whines then he bites down hard on his fist to keep from swearing some more. "This is bad. This is very bad."
The angel paces back and forth, muttering things like,
"Of course this would only happen to us."
"Crowley, always getting me into messes."
"The bastard."
"What do we do?!"
It's then he comes to the realisation that Crowley has buggered off to who knows where. He races to the phone and tears it off the wall. He has to hang up several times because he keeps punching in the wrong numbers. Finally, he gets it right.
There's only one ring before it goes to voicemail.
"Crowley! You need to come back now!" Aziraphale hangs up, groans and dials again.
This time it goes straight to voicemail. "Crowley, you despicable cad. Get your scrawny arse back here this instant! There's been a significant development," he finishes with a harsh whisper. The angel looks over his shoulder, suspiciously. "I need to tell you something in person." He waits fruitlessly for a moment then sighs and hangs up.
All he can do is hope that Crowley will check his messages, but Aziraphale knows Angelique is not safe here. She's a sitting duck. They need to take her away and hide her.
There is no doubt in his mind now that Angelique had been attacked at the cafe. The Nephilim were all supposed to have been wiped out in the flood. It's been forbidden to beget more ever since. The sentence is destruction for anyone who dares break the rule.
The Nephilim should be extinct, and yet, here was one. Either an angel or demon had a recent and mad urge to procreate despite the finality of the consequences or...
It runs in the family. "Jumping Jehoshaphat!"
... or one of Crowley and Aziraphale's rescues from the ark was Nephilim, and had an impressive succession streak.
"Oh, Good Heavens!" Aziraphale squeaks and slaps a palm to his forehead. His eyes bug out as he glances at Angelique. "It can't be." But with Crowley and Aziraphale's luck? "Oh, merciful Christ on a cloud!"
That was most likely it.
Aziraphale was not so gullible as to believe that Heaven and Hell would leave him and Crowley alone forever. He knew they'd probably check in on them every so often. It must have been how Angelique was discovered. Her entire family tree had been hidden from both sides until she almost literally waltzed into their lives. Angelique's whole family is in danger!
There's a subtle change in the air that Aziraphale only notices because his paranoia meter is at one hundred per cent. He feels like he's being watched, or like someone might be listening in. The assassin may not attack while Aziraphale stays by her side, but if they decide not to wait? Sooner or later, whoever is trying to kill Angelique will come to finish the job and probably try to take down anyone else who has figured out her secret.
What if it's more than one assassin? What if it's Azrael, the angel of Death, come personally?
"Fuck," Aziraphale swears again. They need to leave. They need to leave right now. They can't go to the bookshop, they can't go to Angelique's flat. Crowley's place would be risky as well, especially if he used a miracle to get there. Aziraphale doubts Crowley will be home anyway. He's sure the serpent slithered off in shame to get pissed or sleep in some hole, the stupid snake. Wait. Aziraphale can't just pop in and out anywhere because Angelique has her barriers up!
But even if he manages to leave with Angelique, if he hides her away, how will Crowley follow when he finally comes to his senses? Aziraphale would have to lie low. Conceal his aura. Drastically limit his use of miracles.
Once more, Aziraphale tries to contact Crowley. As expected, it goes directly to voicemail. "Crowley," Aziraphale sighs forlornly and pinches the bridge of his nose. He tries to think, tries to come up with just the right words to clue Crowley in on what's happened but keep whoever is nearby in the dark. "I'm sorry we had a row. You're right. It's your fault but not how you think. We're both at fault by associating ourselves with this poor, very human creature."
He winces, hoping he has not been too obvious. "Did you know her birthday is in two months? She's turning forty. Humans have such short lives, but she seems to have exceptional genes. I'm sure she'll pull through and live a long and happy life without us. For a human, that is."
Aziraphale has never been good at placing human ages, but even he knows there's a vast disparity between how old Angelique appears and how she should appear. So, he knows Crowley, who is more in tune with human trifles like that will figure something is up.
Aziraphale's eyes burn with fresh tears at the prospect of not seeing Crowley again for who knows how long. And leaving him in such a state!
"It's a blessing and a curse that we're immune to both Hellfire and Holy Water, isn't it? We'll always live on, while the humans pass us by and leave us behind."
That should really drive the point home. But now, how to tell him where to find them?
"Say," he chuckles mirthlessly, "do you remember after the world was saved, how we talked about retirement?" He laughs again, clinging to the hope that Crowley recalls a specific drunken evening. "Ridiculous notion, eh? Can you imagine? Us, living like the humans, out in the middle of nowhere, hidden away from above, below, and the world entire? We'd be bored out of our minds."
It's with profound sorrow that Aziraphale decides to leave it at that. "I'll wait here until she wakes up, or until family arrives to claim her."
There's a chance here to give his friend hope. To tell him how wrong the demon was about Angelique being the only one able to love him.
He struggles with the words, his breath comes in shallow, his heart means to explode, and a hot, prickly sensation climbs up his neck. "When you've concluded your pity party, I do so hope you come and find me. Goodbye, my... dearest."
The receiver clatters to the floor, and Aziraphale doesn't bother picking it. As calmly as possible, the angel goes to the patient's side and embraces her.
"It's too bad you'll miss out on what may be my best illusion yet," he whispers into her ear. "I think you'll enjoy the South Downs." He gives her a chaste peck on the cheek. "Time to make like Houdini and, well, escape."
For some reason, somewhere, someone pulled the fire alarm.
Aziraphale is real smooth, isn't he? XD
