Chapter 49.

Cas opened his eyes and sat up. He saw Sam turn to look at him.

"Are you okay?" said Sam.

Cas nodded. "I'm fine." he said, going to Dean's bedside. As he got there, Dean's eyes opened. "Dean?" he said.

Dean reached out his hand to Sam, "Talismans, now!"

Sam handed each of them a talisman. "How was it?" he said.

"It was okay." said Dean, fastening the chain around his neck, "I think we successfully kept control for a while."

"Next time, it should be easier to establish control." said Sarah.

"Yes, I think it will." said Dean.

"Did you each tell the other a phrase? Dean, what did Castiel say to you?"

"Castiel got creative. He gave me a Latin phrase, knowing I wouldn't understand it until I got out. Non omnis moriar."

Sarah smiled. "I like that, especially from him. I shall not wholly die."

Dean nodded. "I like that too."

Sarah turned to Cas. "Castiel, dear, what did Dean say to you?"

"Rhonda Hurley." said Cas.

"Rhonda Hurley?" said Sam, "What does that mean?"

Dean smiled. "It means something Cas could not have guessed."

"You were gone a long time." said Sam, standing up, "So, what else happened?"

"You wouldn't understand." said Dean.

"I think he'd understand completely." said Cas.

"Okay, you'd understand completely and I don't want to tell you."

"Fair enough." said Sam.

"I suggest nobody tells anybody anything tonight." said Sarah, "We can debrief tomorrow. Dean, thanks for having the courage to do that. Now, you're exhausted. I suggest you take a long soak in the bath ... "

"I don't really do baths."

"Too girly for you?"

"A little." he said.

"I highly recommend them for stress relief and for ensuring a good sleep."

"I'm not sure about sleeping." he said.

"Dean, you've shown you are in control of your own mind, so you can now relax. You are not insane or anything close to it. Now, I have no very masculine bubbles, but I do think you'll love the orchid-scented ones."

"He steals my orange blossom shampoo." said Sam.

"Take a long bath and then come here and sleep." said Sarah firmly.

"I think I should stay in here and watch over him." said Cas, sitting in the chair just vacated by Sam.

"I'm not likely to get any sleep with you sitting there on guard." said Dean.

"No, it's ridiculous for you to sit there all night." said Sam, "You take my bed, I can take yours for the night."

"Wait, what is this? I'm not a child." said Dean.

Cas looked at him and he looked away. They both knew there was a child in there and a deeply wounded one.

"Castiel is worried about you." said Sarah, "I think it would be best to let him stay close. After all, he gave up time with Jules to be here for you."

"Yeah, I know." said Dean.

"You go and have your bath." she said.

"I must really need one." he said.

"I really think it will help." she said.

"Look, you all need to know, I'm okay. Tell them, Cas."

"He is," said Cas, "But the whole thing was emotionally exhausting and he was tired before we started. He's doing well, mentally, but he needs a good rest."

"That's not exactly the support I was looking for." he said.

"Well, you know I don't get non-verbal cues, so if you wanted me to lie ... "

"I didn't want you to lie." said Dean.

"Good." said Sarah, "And he didn't. We acknowledge that you're in a good place mentally and everyone but you agrees you need rest. Indulge our concern. It's how we show love."

"Yeah, I know." said Dean. He looked at Sam. "Are you sure you're okay with taking Cas's room?"

"Yeah. I know he'll take care of you." said Sam.

"I guess I'll take a bath, then." said Dean.

"Take as long as you like." said Sarah, "You deserve some peace. What you did tonight, that was more than I asked."

He left to have his bath and Sam said to Cas, "How bad was it in there?"

"It actually wasn't." said Cas, "It was emotional, as I said, but in a good way, a very healing way. I didn't expect things to go as well as they did. I think Dean forgave himself a little. A small step forward, but a significant one."

"But you're worried enough to need to stay in here tonight?" said Sam.

Cas said nothing. He felt embarrassed to say how vulnerable he had felt and how his need to comfort the child that was Dean had angered the adult version and how that anger had been covering a lifetime of fear and guilt, a deep well of both that could not be cleaned out in such a short time and had now been exposed to the air. He couldn't say that he needed Dean as much as Dean needed him, maybe more. He couldn't tell Sam how the thought of being alone after such direct experience of such raw emotion from both of them filled him with dread.

Sam looked into his eyes and then smiled. "I get it. You've both been through a lot and I can't really understand any of it. You need each other. I'm just glad he has you, Cas."

"Thanks, Sam." said Cas, "Maybe tomorrow, we can talk about it. Right now, I just need to be sure he's okay."

"Yeah, of course." said Sam.