Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended
19th March 2006
I toyed with my wedding ring as I sat waiting on the chaise longue. This date was important, etched into my human memory. Of course, it was one of my last as a human, but would it be one of hers?
The house was still and quiet due to the lack of residents. The only noise came from the faint tinkling of the crystal chandelier that hung in the centre of the room. Its crystals danced together as they were swayed by the infinitesimal breeze coming from the old-fashioned windows. There's no reason to keep out the cold when you can't feel it. Still, I made a mental note to let Tanya know about the draft in case she eventually chose to rent the home out, as the Denali's frequently did with their real estate. They weren't as sentimental as the Cullens when it came to their previous residences.
I looked out the window across the amber sky. It was sunset, and a beautiful one. I smiled as I imagined Edward sat in front those familiar ivory keys, playing as the sunset reflected on the top of his black grand piano. I would usually be sat right beside him, our bodies moving in time as a melody unravelled from our fingertips. But not tonight. I itched to get back to him, to our happily ever after, but I had to solve this one remaining mystery first. I had to know.
I looked once more at the sunset. I hadn't remembered it looking so spectacular. However, I supposed at the time I hadn't paid much attention. It didn't seem important, not given what was happening. Now it seems just a succession of blurring memories and heightened emotions, none of which now fit with this world. It was odd when I allowed myself to sit and think about it, the fact that I knew the people in this world as well as I've ever known them and yet I'm not the girl they knew. I am in the sense that I am me, but my experiences are different to the girl they know. I wonder sometimes if they realise. If, even with my silent mind, I sometimes give away that I'm not quite the same Sarelle they've said goodbye to so many times. That that girl is still human, still searching for them, and any minute could appear before me.
I heard the faint crackle of electricity, the noise no other vampire would look for or associate with in the same way I did. When you're a child of time that crackle of electricity called to you, even when you no longer wielded it.
I smiled at the way my body seemed to hum at the electricity, like it was greeting an old friend. On some level it was. An old, but very familiar, friend.
"Hello," I greeted as I saw her. Her blond hair settled around her shoulders as the electricity dissipated into the air. It took her a few moments to realise I had spoken and time seemed to stand still as she span around to look for the sound.
Her hazel eyes caught mine, a near mirror image of her own. Her mouth formed a surprised 'o' as she looked, her gaze widening.
I had imagined what this moment would feel like a thousand times. All those moments I lived through knowing she would live through them too. Never in the same context, or forming the same narrative, but there nonetheless. We had lived the same lives, to an extent, and yet we would be two very different creatures. We were two very different creatures. I stood here a body of stone and venom and she stood with a rose on her cheeks and supple quality that was a complete juxtaposition to my own state.
I tried to think back to my thoughts and feelings when I had jumped here all those years ago. I had been tired of the jumps, bored even. Did she feel the same now? I presumed being greeted by your vampiric self would add a little excitement to the situation, but was that the only place where our experiences differed?
"Are you OK?" I asked as she continued to stare.
She blinked and appeared to recover. "Is this real?" her voice shook slightly.
I nodded slowly as I rose from the chaise longue.
She blinked again, her eyes becoming glassy as the tears built.
And then there was happiness, split across her face like sunlight spilling over darkened land at sunrise. Tears fell as she dropped her bag and brought her hands to cover her mouth in amazement.
"I change? And I survive?" she questioned as the tears dropped slowly down her cheek. Her relief was potent, and I wondered if I would have reacted the same. I could only assume that I would have. It was a distant memory, but I could remember the weariness that would descend every time the tingle came to take me some place new. Always having to leave a place I considered home, never able to say a proper goodbye. If I had been given proof that it wouldn't last forever, as she was now, then I could image how sweet the relief would feel.
I smiled as I went to her to allow her a closer look. She reached for my hand where the wedding ring sat nestled beside my engagement ring, Elizabeth's ring.
"I gave this back to him. Or I suppose we did," She gasped with a smile as she stroked the glittering diamonds. I could remember placing the ring in Edward's hand, but of course that wasn't this ring. This ring was the one she had returned to him. Mine stayed in the other world. That other life. Or whatever that place was. If it ever existed at all or just reset when I started my life here.
"We've been married just over a year," My voice caressed the words as I thought back to our wedding day and the bliss that had consumed me since.
My other self beamed and made her way to perch upon the chaise longue. Her hair spilled over her shoulder and I examined the cut that hid amongst the blond waves. Of course, this wasn't long after the incident with Edward in New York. It had seemed like forever at the time, but it must have only been a matter of hours between the jumping from New York to running to save Edward in Volterra.
"Is he here? Can I see him?" she asked with excitement. Her jump to the Cullen house would have just been a fleeting stop in front of a house no body lived in. We had moved from Forks soon after the wedding. She had never had Bella to worry about, so she had never had to resign herself to the idea that Edward was anyone but hers. I felt a flash of jealousy at that fact.
"Maybe later, he's not here now."
I didn't yet know how I was going to deal with this situation. I had partly hoped she wouldn't turn up. I thought it would be like all the other times I had waited at points on our timeline in the off chance she would appear. She never had, for whatever reason, another way in which we were slightly different. We had clearly had slightly different lives. One in which Bella met Edward, and this one where she hadn't.
"That's probably for the best. I wouldn't want him to see me like this," She indicated the head wound and winced slightly as she ran her fingers lightly against the inflamed cut.
"He always did worry," I said with a reminiscent smile. We shared a knowing glance. We had both experienced Edward's protective nature during our time with him. It was both one of his flaws and one of the reasons we loved him so much.
"This is so strange, looking at myself but at same time it's like I'm not. Do you know what I mean?" She cocked her head to the side as she examined me. I nodded in agreement.
"I haven't been human in so long. I'd forgotten what I looked like."
"I'm probably not the best example," She chuckled as she looked over herself. She winced again, clutching her head as a creased formed between her eyes.
"Is everything OK? Do you need some aspirin?" I asked but I wasn't even sure if there was any running water in this house, let alone medication.
"No, I'll be fine. It's probably just lack of sleep, or the tingle. You would think it'd get easier, wouldn't you? But it never seems to." She sighed as the pain seemed to pass.
"If it's any consolation we learn to control it."
"That's something then." She smiled wistfully. "I can't believe we found Edward. After all this time. And the other Cullens too?" She queried as she took my left hand gently in hers looking with contentment at the wedding band.
"Everyone, even Aslo." I added. "I can't describe how happy I am. It's everything we've always wanted. That feeling of family, of belonging somewhere. Of being with Edward and knowing that is how it is going to be for forever."
"And eternity," she whispered as she looked off into a future she'd always dreamed of.
I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing telling her all of this but seeing the look on her face was too much to resist. She was me and seeing her happiness just reaffirmed how at peace I was, after all this time. After everything.
"You must be hungry, and tired," I commented as I watched my alternate self run a weary hand through her hair. "There isn't anything in, but I could go get some food, perhaps start the fire downstairs and you could eat and rest a while."
"Can you remember how long I've got here?" she asked, and it was a valid question, except I had no way of answering. I had never lived this version. By this point I had been discovering what was to become of Edward and rushing with Rose and Emmett to save him. This was new territory for us both.
"I can't remember," I lied, as hard as it was to do.
"That's probably for the best. We never really looked too far into the future, did we?" she mused, and we shared a knowing look. The oddity of speaking with my human self still hadn't worn off.
"Before I go get supplies, can I ask you something?" I asked as she started to look through her bag, probably for something to change into to sleep.
"Of course," she said absentmindedly
"Have you ever met a Bella Swan?"
"You mean Renee's daughter?"
I nodded.
"Of course, don't you remember?"
I shook my head slowly.
"Let me see," she rummaged through her bag until she pulled out the familiar photo album. I wondered how many pictures in there would have matched my own.
"Here we go."
She pulled free an image of her, Bella, and Dylan sitting in Mama Rosa's. I could remember going to the restaurant before I left Dylan, Renee and Phil. I'd had a similar photo taken then, except mine didn't feature Bella, especially not this version of her. She must have been in her thirties, fine wrinkles were just starting to form in the corners of her eyes. It made sense that she would have visited while my other self had been staying with Renee. Maybe she even knew more of my other self than Bella in the other world had known.
"I forgot about Mama Rosa's," I murmured as I held the photo.
"It was a special night, probably one of the few goodbyes we ever got to say. I suppose it wasn't as bad knowing they were happy. It makes it a little bit easier when you get some closure," she finished as I handed the photo back. The jealousy reared its ugly head again. This other me had had the opportunity to see another side to Bella. A happier side perhaps, or at least one where life was simpler.
I rose to leave, casting a look over my shoulder as my human self poured over the photo, an absentminded hand coming up to rub her temple gently.
"I'll be back soon." I called as I wove down the stairs. I lit the fire in the lounge before I left, pulling the sofa a little closer so she would benefit from the heat if she chose to sleep there.
Edward will be back in two days. A x
I stared at the text that had came through from Aslo, bringing the guilt with it. I had persuaded Edward to go hunting with the other men in the family while I came here. It wasn't a lie, but I knew it was no better. I hadn't told him about the other reality. About Bella or the potential existence of my other self. It was a lie of omission, and it was one I buried down as deep as I could in the hope that with time that other place would be nothing but a whisper of a memory. A bad dream I'd had one night before waking up in this place.
It was only Aslo who knew we'd lived this life once before and we'd promised each other it would stay that way. The fact Edward couldn't get a clear read on either of us helped.
I was quick picking up some fruit and sandwiches from the late night store before returning. I wasn't sure what road me and my human self were heading down, but I felt the need to take care of her.
I stayed with her through the night as she slept. She had been looking through her photos when I was out and when I returned she had been curled up on the sofa surrounded by pictures as the fire created a soft glow on her face. I wondered if it would have been different if I hadn't been there when she jumped. It was an exercise in futility to think about it but as she slept I couldn't help but wonder. Would she have stayed here? Would this place become her home like the cottage in Belmore? Would the Denalis find her when they eventually came to rent out the home? Would that lead her back to Edward eventually? Would she have gotten her happy ever after if I weren't here? Or would the jumps just continue until she was grey and old?
These musings were always in the back of my mind as we talked, discussing our travels. Or at least her travels. There were a few we had experienced differently without Bella's involvement in Edward's life but not as many as I had thought. She had jumped back to Chicago as I had, but she hadn't hid away with her heartbreak. She hadn't seen Edward marry Bella so when she jumped there she ran to his human self and they had fallen in love just as we had. Except she got those few extra months with him and as I read about those days in her diary I wished I had let my pain go back then. In that moment I promised myself that I would let it go now. I was wishing that past life didn't exist because of the memories that came with it, and I couldn't deny that I was still carrying that pain. But I had the chance to let it go now and as I ran back from my hunt I promised myself that I would.
I stepped through the door quietly so as not to wake her as I returned. I could hear the fire crackling although the light had grown dim so the flickering light had been replaced with a soft glow. I could feel the temperature had dropped significantly since I had left. I rushed to the lounge, gingerly throwing another log onto the embers.
I turned to look at my other half, her body curled around a photo of Edward, a faint smile on her sleeping face.
Except she wasn't sleeping.
I listened for her breath, her heartbeat, but there was none.
I reached to touch her cheek, but she was cold. No different to my own temperature.
I felt my heartbreak as I looked over her still body. Blood had dried in a dark pool around her ear, barely noticeable if not for my heightened sense of smell.
My eyes looked to the cut on her head. Remembering the force with which I had acquired my own. Could that have been the cause?
If I had jumped here alone, never raced to Edward, never been bitten by Aro, would this have been my fate? To die of a head wound, a sudden death while I slept?
I sank slowly to the floor in front of her, the photo album still open beside me. She had died dreaming of Edward and the life they would have together. The life I had with him in her place. As I looked at the contentment on her face, I took solace in the fact she had died knowing she was loved and would be loved for forever and eternity.
My run home to Edward seemed to take a lifetime. My mind flashed through the memories of the last 24 hours. Gathering her belongings, burning her body, scattering her ashes in the meadow where my parents memory remained. I had buried her things at the base of the oak tree there, carving a cross in its surface, and when I left, I left my past life buried with them.
As Edward opened the door to the Cullen family home I rushed into his open arms.
"I've missed you," I purred against his neck, breathing in his scent as my memory flashed to my human self's face when she saw the wedding ring. The way her face lit up with joy. I smiled against his chest, a wide grin as I realised what I had always known but never truly trusted.
"What's going on?" Edward asked as his face mirrored my own, his smile stretching from ear to ear as he looked at me with blissful bewilderment.
"I just realised that I'm going to be with you forever," I gushed as I felt the swell of happiness bring would be tears to my eyes.
"Forever and eternity, my love," Edward vowed as his lips kissed mine.
Forever and eternity.
A/N: Thanks for reading!
P.S There may be a few follow up chapters but this is where the story offically ends. Any extra chapters are just little snippets I couldn't help writing!
