CHAPTER 31 - Wherever you are
The shivering blackness beneath the harbor swirled lazily, swaying in tune with the unruly winding paths of her own mind. Waiting, Kal had come to know, was the most hideous of endeavors. Lingering, unknowing of what was unfurling on the mainland, where a sorely outnumbered group had set against an ever present foe. Where he had gone, and left her behind.
I would have no harm come to you.
The words were ceaseless in their insistence, boring within her in strange ways, painfully, longingly. The look in his eyes when he had uttered them, the feel of him so near, that was yet another trying memory in its honesty, its clarity, its truth.
Kal blinked at the revelation, looking to Eron who was shifting uneasily and leaning into her side. She sat on the stone edge where dark water met cliff, her knees drawn to her chest. She had retrieved the wolf from her chamber seeing as the wild animal was begun to feel restless trapped between four walls, when untamed nature was its true abode. Its intelligent blue eyes met hers, and a whimper escaped its maw as the animal rose and began pacing.
She hoped, more than she had ever dared to before, that their party would return unharmed. All of them. Admittance was a difficult task with the memory of his touch, the freshness of green woods, the sparkling lights entrapped in black skies. Kal wished, needed, to feel it again. To feel him again, the blasted elf who had left her behind for his own peace of mind.
"You worry," a soft voice sounded from behind her, and from the corner of her eye Kal saw the grim figure of Arwen descending to her left, in a position much similar to her own. If Kal had been less perceptive she might not have noticed the subtle, barely visible wringing of her hands. She returned her gaze to the wide natural gallery formed in the mountain which led to the outside world.
"Does this happen often?" Kal had to know.
"Such an ill turn has not come to pass for a long while," Arwen shook her head. "But they are brave, seasoned warriors to the last." Her fathomless grey eyes met those of Kal. "It is not much, but this sole thought brings me a manner of reprieve."
Her fingers curled into her palms. "I should have gone with. I know of the language, their strengths and weaknesses, I could have been of great aid to them."
"You were, and are, yet unwell from your weakening spell. It is plain to see now, as it surely was then," Arwen maintained evenly.
When he all but forced me to stay put, akin to some stray animal. Kal turned her head to the side, eyes narrowing. "The things he said to me, when I awoke. That I am like you. Are they true?" Had the lady Arwen known? Had they all known, apart from her?
She heard a pause before Arwen spoke. "Your essence, your soul... I sense it. All those of elven kind unavoidably do, for it bears remnants of the Secret Fire. There is no other worthy explanation, though some feel each other clearer and much deeper if..." her words trailed away, leaving the thought unfinished. "In the least, you are... partly elven." The statement had been uttered in a monotonous and factual way.
Kal hissed in displeasure. "For all the good it has done me," she muttered, stroking the fur of Eron who had wedged between them in the meanwhile. "Gratitude for your aid in getting me to my feet," she tried.
"Legolas stood by you, mostly."
The half-orc winced, and the poisoned pincers of worry dug into her with renewed strength. "I daresay, I can imagine few things worse than this damnable waiting."
The elf maid ran a slight, elegant hand through her hair. "I cannot disagree. But you ought to rest," said the healer.
"I cannot rest," Kal said sullenly. "I cannot think of anything other than this, them. Him," she lowered her head in a rare display of weakness. But her time among these beings had caused the ever present adamant guard which surrounded her spirit to slowly diminish and crack, revealing the multitude of bruising emotions she was yet beginning to discern.
Arwen looked away, and Kal did not catch her weak sliver of a smile.
A sudden commotion alerted them both as the waters began to ripple and change, signalling an approaching disturbance. The wolf rose and began wailing in a way Kal had never heard before, and try though she did to calm its distress, he would not cease.
Arwen rose straight and stiff even as Kal placed her hands on the wolf's head in an attempt to reach him as taught previously by Legolas. But the anguish spanning through her hands made her draw sharply away when Eron coiled in on himself, whimpering. Her eyes fell on the sight of a fast approaching craft and its quiet inhabitants. As soon as they reached the improvised harbor area, she hastily followed each arrival as they crossed onto the dark grey stone platform.
Her feet gaining a will of their own, Kal paced swiftly after Arwen.
The dwarf, the men, Tadion, two other elves, no, there was yet another elf, and...
"Legolas?" she heard Arwen ask, looking to Gimli and Tadion.
Tadion. His face was of a sickly pallor, his green eyes haunted and sunken, his head bowed.
"Tadion," Kal barely heard Arwen repeat her question. "Where is your brother?"
"Captured," the elf uttered blankly.
Kal regarded the others, as trodden and ailing and just as miserable as he, the word failing to gain meaning.
"Captured?" Kal choked with growing unrest looking to Gimli, whose eyes were blurring with hastily wiped tears.
They all sped towards the eating hall in silence, where gathered around one of the tables Tadion began to relay the happenings to Arwen with a downcast gaze.
"They somehow impaired him, for I had never seen him sway so in battle. He was wounded as a result, and their numbers were higher than even the scouts reckoned. There was no way for him to... to escape, or follow, and no possibility for me to intervene without revealing there were more of us. They already suspect our presence in the area," his words were wooden but steady. "They may have spies lurking about. I did what had to be done," Tadion finished in a hollow voice.
"What had to be done?" Kal suddenly spoke. "What is your meaning?" She had been surprisingly composed throughout the whole recount, a part of her still in disbelief at this turn of events. I pleaded with him. The proud, foolish elf. Stubborn, foul tempered fool!
Tadion leveled her with a hard look. "What are you even doing here, orc? It may be even that you are the cause for all of this," and the elf approached her slowly, his face gaining the usual menacing mien reserved solely for her.
"Easy, lad," Gimli slowly came between him and a now trembling, smoldering Kal. "She holds no blame."
"What have you done?" Kal still demanded, her voice shallow, her throat dried, her chest crumbling piece by piece with every word.
"I prevented him from becoming fodder to their wiles. I ended him, swiftly," Tadion croaked emptily, his eyes on no one in particular.
Kal staggered back. "You... what?" her hand went to her sword, a new, thrashing sort of fury brimming inside, causing the floor to seem molten beneath her feet and a great bloodlust pour into her center, tensing her wearied limbs. She took one step forward towards the elf who had done the unthinkable.
A hand was on her shoulder. A steadying, soothing, and peace inducing hand. Her blazing eyes drowned in grey seas. Arwen locked her in that willful gaze and despite her effort to the contrary, her anger began to dissipate. In its wake was left nothing but the burning raw hurt akin to a deeply embedded blade.
She barely felt Tadion whirl past her, his slumped form heading through one of the corridors. Kal removed herself from Arwen and strode purposefully after him, ignoring the calls of Gimli.
"You!" she hissed angrily, making a motion for Eron to stand aside. Tadion turned his head briefly but took no heed of her as he resumed his fast pacing.
Unable to see straight Kal hastened until she reached him and roughly grasped his shoulder, throwing the elf hard against the stone wall. Her fingers turned to iron around his jaw as she leaned into his face, nails digging into the pale flesh. Strangely, Tadion posed no resistance but in her stupor Kal saw little else save the urge, the need for retribution.
"Your own brother? You were there, by his side and instead of doing your utmost to protect him, you... you struck him down? Where are the great and noble values of the elves you so proudly threw in my face? What of all that remains? Speak, damn you!" she shook him.
"I did what had to be done," Tadion repeated stonily, though a new fire shone in his own eyes as he began to struggle. "You know nothing of our ways or the lives we lead. Capture at the hands of your wonderful kin is worse than death. It means potential discovery of our position, and endangers our struggling community. We all knew and accepted the chance of things going awry, none more than he. Now unhand me, else you will regret it," the elf growled though the merciless grip on him stood fast, now digging painfully into his arm. Bruises were forming along his jaw.
Kal thrust him harshly against the wall. "You so hold yourself above me, but know this: I would rather have perished myself before leaving him to fend on his own. I would have done all that I could to ensure he had a chance at freedom, even to the point of falling into their hands. But you! His own kin... you are the monster, not I!" she cried wanting to claw his eyes out, the infuriating stream warm upon her face.
The elf shifted with inhuman speed. With a well placed strike to her middle, Kal was reminded of elven agility as Tadion freed himself of her vice hold. He took Kal by her hair unheeding of the harsh guttural sounds a confused but seething Eron was making. Tadion thrust her legs from under her and Kal crashed to the ground just as he was upon her, his hand clenching viciously around her throat, against her windpipe. Breathing was a chore with his knee now pressing against her ribs. "Heed me and hear me well," the elf spewed, shivering in pain and anger. "You have no place here. You will begone come the morrow. If not I will ensure that you are."
They both struggled against each other like so for a while, strength depleting and bodies hurting. Then, to her astonishment Tadion loosened his grip, breathing deeply only to fall beside her as a panting, tired heap.
The irksome wetness would not cease its torment while inside Kal was striving to keep the weakening anger at bay. A haunting wail reverberated off the stone walls, and only late did she realize it had come from her. Kal barely felt the wolf nearing her, its maw soft against her face.
They knew not how much time had passed this way. The floor was cold, but she barely felt it. Kal turned helplessly on her side as her shoulders shook, her knees brought to her chest. Death, life and all that was lost to her mingled and thrashed achingly, seeping through her innermost recesses of thought, body and spirit. She even lost sight of Tadion, yet splayed and silent as a grave beside her, staring towards the ceiling with glassy orbs.
She closed her eyes tiredly...
... only to sharply open them again.
"Spirit..." she uttered aloud. Your essence, your soul, I sense it. All those of elven kind unavoidably do... some more than others...
She thought of him. She thought of him deeper and truer than she ever had before. His initial hatred of her. His touch, his woody scent. That cold demeanor. His reserved but honest friendship. His hand, rough fingers intertwining with hers. Why was it that just as they had reached common ground and understanding, he was being snatched away from her in such a way? Why was it, that she wished it had been her instead? Kal pressed her eyes tightly shut against the renewed torrent. Her thought flew to a heartbeat beneath her fingers, the steady stream of life pouring into her in ways which left her lightheaded and wanting. When they had been together sharing, before her loss of mind Kal felt a shiver taking the form of an admission. Endless, reaching for her; a warm, brave light though hesitating and meek in its search, but present. She had felt him.
Kal blinked and rose sharply propped on her arms, feeling it all soar with imbued clarity. That same presence, the warmth of him. A beacon lost in shadow but struggling and seeking her.
"He lives," she whispered turning to look upon the tormented face of Tadion. She grasped the elf by his tunic and lifted his face to hers. "He lives," her eyes were wide and wild. "You said you ended him," she whispered.
"I could not," the elf admitted, not meeting her gaze. "I could not do what he asked of me." And now he appeared so much older and defeated, a galling shift from before. Tadion lowered his head. "He is... he is my kin."
She raked a shaky breath, roughly releasing him.
Hope. It brimmed, burned. It surged through with bewildering swiftness.
There was no time, she had no time to spare. Kal rose and stormed past an approaching Arwen, towards the harbor.
She had little to no knowledge of how to man a boat across water. She had no knowledge of which way to go. But she would get there, somehow. She had light, his own, to guide after, and it had not yet faded.
When Kal neared the harbor she knelt and took the wolf's head in her hands. "I will return, you have my word. With him." And she took forward, her eyes trailing over the boats, frantically pondering which one she should use.
"If you are to kill yourself, you might as well get there first," someone said gratingly from behind her, and Kal tensed as her gaze swept over Tadion. The marks her fingers had left were dark shades upon his fair face. He bore his weapons, and was storming towards her.
Kal crossed her arms over her chest, brow furrowing when the elf walked past her and straight to one of the boats.
"About time you two showed up," Gimli said then, startling them both as he rose from his seated position at the far edge of the stone platform. "If folly is to be had, yours truly will not be denied his pleasure. May as well face it," he said into the glare of Tadion, longingly feeling the head of his battle axe, "I am coming with."
Arwen watched them from the entrance to the harbor hall, and only once they were all in position did she approach. None appeared astonished by her presence. "I will be waiting." She then swiftly recounted the basic field care needed for an injury such as that which Tadion described, and how best to handle the wound and its bearer.
Kal looked to the silent elf as he took the oars and began to row. She turned her thought inward. I will find you. Wherever you are. It was not much by way of certainty, but it kept her adrift.
A/N:
You guys! I am so grateful and glad for all your thoughts on the previous update. Thank you
Hail guest reviewers: Guest and Mia!
Hope you're all holding out well, the going gets tough here at times.
