Note: I'm so sorry for the wait, guys. I know at the start, there was a week in between chapters, but it's looking like two weeks is going to be the new norm for the remainder of this fic. That being said, I'm so excited for this chapter! So excited! I finally get to talk about what's been going on with Noah. Or at least present the running theory.
As always, a huge thank you to my reviewers.
On with the fic!
Noah opens the door with reluctance. She's greeted by nothing. Not even the dog.
The stillness leaves her disquieted. She hesitates in the doorway, her resolve wavering.
Should she call out? Why is it so quiet?
For an instant, she wants to turn and flee.
Edward has probably already arrived. He's probably told them everything. They'll be waiting there in disgust.
Even Winry.
Noah has never considered Winry a friend, nor has she considered her potential as one, but it occurs to her then that never did the other woman look at her with the same distaste she received back in her own world.
She doesn't want to face that.
Does it matter though? she asks herself.
Winry isn't any different. She's just better at hiding it.
Noah ignores the impulse to run and shuts the door gently. The soft click resonates in her mind. It's not at all reassuring.
The door is now a barrier between her and the outside.
Cautiously, she steps further into the house. Scenarios play out in her mind.
They're all in the living room. Ed is waiting for her to crawl back in shame. Her faults will all be brought to light and, though the invitation to stay will be there, she'll have no choice but to leave. How could she stay?
Noah's cheeks burn and she realizes that, somewhere along the line, she's started to tremble with her emotions. Is it fear? Or anger?
Her shaking fingers lightly touch the bannister and her foot lands on the first step.
"Noah?"
It's Alphonse, Edward's younger brother.
"I thought I heard the door. Is Ed…?"
She doesn't wait to hear anymore. She bolts up the stairs, hears Alphonse's startled cry, but she doesn't stop to consider it.
Only when she's safely in the room assigned to her, the door shut behind her, does she consider the implication of what Alphonse had been trying to ask her.
Is Ed…?
So he isn't back yet.
They don't know. Not yet.
Noah slides to the ground, her back pressed against the door.
But he'll tell them when he comes back, won't he?
Her eyes slide across the room.
She doesn't have much to take with her if she decides to cut her losses and leave while she can.
But a sheet will serve to carry what she can take- she and Winry have similar builds. Some of her clothes will be sure to fit her.
And money… thanks to working for the Cutlers, she now has some of her own, but it's not a lot.
Still, she thinks it likely that Winry keeps some somewhere in the house…
What's the use of thinking that way? Noah rests her head back against the door.
Even if Winry does keep money around the house, she has no idea where it is. And it's not like she had spent any amount of time searching the house.
Maybe she should have prepared in the event of something like this happening.
Alphonse considers going after her. Something is clearly bothering her and, after what Mei had to say, a part of him wants to see that she's alright.
He doesn't know her- he never even got the chance to introduce himself to her- but he knows that she's troubled and he hates to see anyone like that.
After his time spent following Edward, he knows that it's all too easy before the thoughts that trouble you can begin to feel like the weight of worlds bearing down on your shoulders.
Al doesn't want to see the same look on Noah's face. This girl he doesn't know, hasn't even talked to.
He knew how to talk to Edward. He could read his brother's body language and understand what was troubling him, know what to say to make him feel at least a little bit better.
He knows nothing about Noah. Doesn't even know where to begin.
What if he says the wrong thing?
He hesitates, places one foot on the step.
Maybe- maybe at some point he'll talk to her, but not now. He lets his hand drop down to his side and turns away.
Mei is seated at the kitchen table, crooning something as she offers Xiao Mei a cookie.
He can't help but grin, leaning against the doorframe to watch them.
Even from the beginning, it's always been obvious just how much those two adored each other.
Mei catches his eye from her seat. He doesn't miss the way her face lights up when she sees him.
"Hey." He slides into the chair next to her. Now that he's seated, he sees she's reopened several of Hohenheim's books splayed out on the table in front of her.
Evidently, she'd decided to have another go.
She flashes him a tired smile.
"Maybe we missed something the first time around…"
Al feels doubtful, but he tries not to let it show. Too much at least. "Maybe the answer isn't in there. Dad may not have known there was another side to the Gate…"
He's still not so sure about what they're doing. It feels… wrong- in a slimy sort of way- to be doing this without Noah's knowledge. Even though he knows that there probably isn't a way he could have gotten her involved. She's avoided them like the plague since they arrived.
Mei looks puzzled. "But it's a gate. There's always another side."
Fair.
"Besides, the answer really might not have to do with the Gate at all," Mei continues.
For the first time, he notices that there's a board game on the table next to her.
A Xingese game she'd found the time to teach him during their travels together.
Involving tiles and little stick figures, with a name Al found his Amestrian tongue completely unable to pronounce, the game was good for both a single player and multiple.
"Were you playing?"
"I was taking a break," Mei says. She moves one of the stick figures and takes two of Xiao Mei figures.
Xiao Mei makes a noise that could possibly be interpreted as dismayed.
Maybe he should find it weird, that Mei plays against her panda. He doesn't. He's been around weird too often.
Instead, he slides the open alchemy book away from her, shutting it gently but firmly.
Mei watches him, lips tightening, but she doesn't protest.
"I was reading that," is all she says.
"You were on page three hundred and fifty-seven. You can pick it up again after." Al doesn't miss a beat. "Can I play?"
"Next round?" she offers. Her eyes twinkle mischievously. "Xiao Mei isn't much of a challenge."
The small panda makes a noise that's probably offended, but Al genuinely can't tell.
Maybe Mei really can talk to her panda and, the way they interact, it's hard not to believe that, but he can't.
He never exactly learned to speak small animal.
Mei flips a tile and moves a figure.
"If you're good," she says and there's that hint of mischief again, "maybe we can even play xiangqi."
Al smiles. "I'd like that."
Sometime later, Winry emerges from her workroom.
She's smeared with grease, both her face and her hands. Sweat cuts cleans lines through the grime on her face.
"Is Ed home?"
She wipes her hands off on her pants.
"No." Al shakes his head. "But Noah is. She said Ed wanted to… walk."
Winry looks a little troubled, her eyes flitting to the doorway. "Oh."
She's worried about him. Al understands her concern.
They both wish he would open up more. That he would let them help him more. But it's always been Ed's nature to keep things bottled up inside. To think he can handle them on his own.
But there's nothing she can do until he comes home.
Winry peels off her gloves and sets them on the countertop.
"I'm just going to get cleaned up," she says.
Mei half-turns in her chair. "I was thinking maybe I could make dinner for you."
Winry slumps with relief. Even from where he is, Al can see the exhaustion bleeding off of her. "That would be wonderful. Thank you, Mei."
Mei shrugs, like it's no big deal. "I liked cooking back home," she says, which is a lie. Al knows it's a lie. She hated cooking during their time together in Xing, even if she loved eating what she cooked. "You won't have the right spices here, so it will taste a little funny, but… Oh!" She turns to Al, eyes wide with excitement, and suddenly nothing else matters except the idea she's got in her head. "We should bring Xingese spices back on our next visit! As a gift!"
Al smiles tolerantly. "Yeah. I'm sure Ed will like that."
Mei looks delighted. "You think?"
Modification: Mei hated cooking, but she loved food.
"I'm heading upstairs now," Winry calls. There's a lilting tone to her voice that tells him that she's teasing them.
"Okay." Al waves a hand in a partially interested gesture of good-bye.
Mei has just taken another one of Xiao Mei's pieces.
When Ed walks in the door and into the living room, Mei is already in the middle of cooking dinner.
Al is helping her and the two of them have become so immersed in the task that Al doesn't realize Ed is home until he hears his voice.
"Where's Noah?"
Al whips around. "Ed!"
His brother looks… worn is the first word to come to mind. World weary is another.
He had known (or suspected, at least) from the beginning that Ed hadn't been going on a walk simply to enjoy nature, but now he finds himself wondering what exactly did cause him to take that detour.
And what Noah had to do with it.
"She's upstairs," he says. "Winry's up there too. She said she was just going to get changed, but she hasn't come down yet. She looked tired though, so she's probably taking a nap or something."
Ed's face softens at the mention of Winry. "Yeah? Guess we probably shouldn't wake her up then, huh?"
Al lets himself smile, but the gesture is superficial and does nothing to lighten the burden of worry on his heart.
When are you going to let us in, brother?
"Yeah, probably not," he says. "Is something bothering you? You were gone a long time."
He could tell him Winry was worried as well, but guilt is something he won't use.
Ed doesn't quite look him in the eyes. "I had a lot on my mind, that's all."
Al and Mei exchange a look. Mei looks hesitant for once and he understands why.
She's not sure that now is the right time to bring up what they suspect.
"That smells good," Ed says, interrupting their unspoken communication. "What's cooking?"
Mei names the chicken and rice dish she's preparing.
Ed nods, then smiles at her softly.. "Huh. Well… it smells good. Thanks."
Mei looks pleased.
Ed's eyes fall on the alchemy books still piled on the table. A furrow forms between his brows. "Al…"
"Brother, there's something we need to tell you!" Al speaks quickly. In a more hushed tone, he continues, "It's about Noah."
Ed's head snaps up. There's something fierce glittering in the depths of his eyes, but something guarded too.
Al finds himself wondering what exactly went down between them on the walk home from the Cutlers' place. For that matter, what happened when he was on the other side of the Gate?
He knows better than to ask, at least right now.
"Well?" Ed snaps and then seems to realize that he did snap, because he looks immediately remorseful.
Al can't help the guilty glance at the doorway to the living room area, as if he expects Noah to be there, drawn by their secret talk of her.
It doesn't matter their intentions. It still feels wrong to be talking about her like this.
"Mei… sensed something about her." It sounds stupid, but he isn't sure how else to put it. It probably doesn't matter though, he supposes. He falls silent so that Mei can take over. It's technically her story to tell after all.
"Her chi," Mei explains softly. She places a hand against her heart. "It feels wrong. Broken." It seems a little easier for Mei to explain herself this time. "It's not the same feeling I got from… him, or from his Homunculi." Al sees the same grimace of distaste flash across Ed's face. "It's like she's slowly decaying from the inside. Or her soul is anyways."
Ed looks troubled. His eyes flicker to the threshold, and then back to Al and Mei.
When he does speak, his voice lowered.
"Back in that other place, on the other side of the Gate, I met another you, Al."
Al reels back in surprise. "What? Ed, what are you…?"
"Not you you," Ed corrects. "A counterpart. His name was Alfons Heidrich. I met Winry's counterpart too."
A spasm of pain crosses his face.
Ed shuts his eyes and lowers his chin, taking a moment to compose himself. When he opens them, he looks them both in the eye. "But I didn't meet myself. My counterpart died the year before the Gate spat me out there."
"So… you were never in that world at the same time as your counterpart." Mei speaks slowly.
Ed nods, looking grim.
"So we don't know what would happen if two counterparts were ever in the same world together," Al says. "Or if that's even possible."
Ed nods again. "And we don't know if Noah has a counterpart here. Although I would assume it's a safe bet that she does. Or who she is."
Al is pretty sure it clicks for all of them at the same time, even if he is the one to voice it first.
"Our world is rejecting her."
Note: A bit more referencing the COS-AU fic I would like to someday write with Winry's counterpart. And yes, I finally got around to presenting a theory for what's been going on with Noah. Oh, I have been waiting for this moment.
