Disclaimer: Owning "Yu-Gi-Oh!"? Ha, never gonna happen… just my luck… T_T

Author's Note: So… I'd actually had most of this written before the last chapter… funny how that works. But that's why you get a quicker update this time around! Also, we're all supposed to stay indoors… and my gym is all but closed… so…. There's really nothing to take my attention away from this. (I hope the world gets back to the way it was soon though…). Anyway, here's a distraction from your boredom for now, with our next chapter, Chapter Thirty! Enjoy! ^_^

Terms -

Again, none today, except for the chapter title.

This chapter title means "broken, no good, not serving a purpose, hopeless, wasted, purposeless, cannot, in vain, or not allowed" - it's pronounced 'dah-meh' and is very commonly used in Japanese conversation. Though I will continue with the pattern of using Kanji in the chapter titles, normally, this word is written using Kana (the Japanese alphabet system) instead.

-YGO-

"Tell me what you want to hear,

Something that will light those ears,

I'm sick of all the insincere,

So I'm gonna give all my secrets away…"

"Secrets" by OneRepublic

Chapter Thirty: 駄目 (Dame)

She wasn't sure exactly when she got back to Tea's apartment. She only knew it was empty upon arrival, for which she was grateful. The door creaked open and closed, the only penetrating sound in the silence. In a mundane, unlubricated movement, she found herself kicking her light blue flats off as she stepped up out of the genkan. It was all routine. Otherwise, Kisara was pretty sure she wouldn't have been able to do so.

She struggled to the kitchen, where she took a seat at the table, lying her head down on top of it, the eerie solitude encroaching upon her. She felt numb, maybe cold, despite the fact that it was still rather warm outside.

She didn't want to sit there. She felt so stiff... unable to move. Standing, she went for the bathroom. Maybe a bath would help. Turning on the bathwater, she let it raise the water level in the high tub. It was still lukewarm, but she didn't really care. She couldn't really care. She pulled at her stockings, scratching them slightly, causing a rip. She shut her eyes and pulled more. Had to get them off...

Finally off they came along with her top, her bottom. The water, almost at level in the tub. She switched it to the shower nozzle so she could wash herself before getting in. The water switched with a quick 'pshhh' and the water suddenly ran down and over her, quietly messaging her skin with a beating, pulsating rhythm, the temperature though... almost a moot point. She couldn't feel it, focus on it...

Vile.

She reached for the shampoo.

Vagrant.

She missed and it fell. She reached down for it.

Wench.

Kisara found herself choke, suddenly aware that tears were again mingled with the water now running down over her face. Sliding to the ground, she pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly as she leaned against the wall of the bathroom, letting her hair run over her skin like a waterfall to hide her. That's all she really wanted to do. Hide. Because her one friend, the one that had been her friend, knowing nothing, expecting nothing...

His face from earlier that day came into her mind again.

"Stay away from me."

She sobbed.

-YGO-

Mokuba stared at the upside down screen as he rapidly maneuvered his way through the mess of the war game he was playing. The blood was starting to rush to his head and he was beginning to get a slight headache. He had long since gotten tired of just waiting for Seto to get home. He'd waited at the office, preferring to be there than at school, but Seto hadn't come back. He could only assume that his brother's absence must be a good thing though. Thus eventually, he had decided to go home ahead of Seto. After all, if Seto got worried, he could always just call him.

Oddly enough though, he didn't. There was no sign of Seto. He half had started to wonder if he should be worried when he heard the reverberating sound of the door shutting at the front of the mansion echo down the hallway. Sitting up and experiencing a head rush, Mokuba paused his game and jumped to his feet. There was no way he was letting Seto skip out on giving him the exact 411.

He reached the banister and saw his brother, "Seto!"

Seto said nothing, his gaze rooted to the ground. Odd. Mokuba ran around to the staircase and quickly took the steps two at a time.

"Nii-sama, what happened? You were out so late! Did you talk to her? Did you tell her? Are you guys going steady? Tell me you guys are-"

He stopped mid sentence as when he got closer, he felt as though a wall of ice was in front of him, solidifying his brother off from not only him, but everyone.

"What-"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Alarm bells went off in Mokuba's head. He hadn't been expecting this, "Did she reject you?! Come on, what hap-"

He pulled at his brother's arm, but instantly wished that he hadn't. Seto's eyes seemed piercing, like they could slice through concrete. He couldn't tell if his brother was angry, defensive or... and then a memory sparked back into his mind. One of when they had been kids. It wasn't necessarily a unique experience. It had happened quite a bit. On one of the nights where Seto had been forced to stay up all night studying and had told Mokuba to stay in his room with a look. A very similar look to the one on his brother's face now. One of disdain, anger, rage... and silent defeat. But it wasn't exactly same though. When Gozoboro had done that, pushed Seto to his limit, there was still a quiet flicker, a flame of determination, rejection of the outcome... but this, this was different.

"Nii-sama?" He asked, concerned.

He waited, hoping his brother would say something, anything. Had he been rejected? Had something-

"I'm... going to bed," Seto said slowly.

Mokuba watched as Seto's arm slipped from his hand and he began to trudge his way up the stairs. Somehow, watching him, as much as he wanted to, Mokuba couldn't find it in him to go after him. Whatever had happened... it hadn't been good.

Thankful for being left alone, Seto made his way to his room. He shut the door quietly enough so that all that was heard was the soft 'click' of the knob sliding back into place. He looked around. He was rarely in his room. So very rarely. It felt foreign. But at least he could be alone.

Weakly, he pulled at his tie and undid it, letting it fall to the floor. He didn't quite care that it was Cavalli at this moment. In fact, the name didn't even seem to register. Slowly, he sat on his bed, pulling at his shoes to get them off and letting them drop carelessly around him.

He breathed, letting his chest fill with air and expel it several times. He couldn't quite feel anything. He wasn't quite sure why. He felt like there was a pricking sensation with every beat of his heart, sending blood through his veins, down to his very fingertips, even to the edges of his ears. It hurt, even if only dully.

Your ticket back to Egypt.

It's all about the Blue Eyes.

Naked.

He suddenly shuddered, his whole mind once again trying to comprehend the words he had heard even as the image of... her... in front of Yugi... He wasn't sure why it bothered him so much. No, it didn't bother him. Who cared what a... but he couldn't finish the thought, the insult just unwilling to even be thought. It just...

"Incapable."

"I hope that something..."

"Spoiled."

"Does come along..."

He found himself not wanting to believe what he had heard. But at the same time, the logical centers of his brain felt as though they were pressing in on him. Seto slid off the bed to the floor and brought a hand up to his forehead, which pounded intensely.

"Sad excuse."

"Especially for you."

"Why would anyone like you?"

He bent his head into his knees, covering his ears as if that would somehow block it out. All of the insults, the demeaning comments, the belittlements, degradations, humiliations... And then he saw it again in his mind. The memory... He'd made her cry.

"You can't run away from your past and who you are."

He sat back, leaning his head against his bed. Yes. He was awful. Cruel. Conniving. Deceitful when he had to be. A royal prick. But she... she had to be worse. Just another selfish, spiteful... again, he couldn't finish it. He leaned down to his right onto the ground. Sitting up just hurt. Everything hurt. Everything from today. His eyes felt worn out. Tired. He didn't want to stay conscious. For once, a deep slumber... one where he didn't have to think, was preferable to absolutely everything else.

-YGO-

Tea ripped the door open quickly, "Kisara!? Kisara?!"

The place seemed empty, but they hadn't been able to get a hold of her roommate and none of them had seen her around Domino... Domino was big but for her to wander off... She heard the door to the bathroom click and slide open. With a slight tap, she saw Kisara step out, a towel wrapped around her, her long white hair dripping down her back. She hadn't even bothered to tie it back...

"Kisara?" Tea asked slowly, "Are you okay?"

Incrementally, Kisara looked up at Tea, the corners of her mouth drawn down on her face. Her lips trembled and Tea could see the redness in her eyes, clearly not the result from being in the bath for too long. Kisara shook her head with a resounding 'no' and in what must have been a repeated occurrence, Tea saw tears start to come before Kisara brought a hand up to her mouth to try to quell them. Ignoring the fact that her shoes were still on, she ran out of the genkan and hugged her friend, who sobbed into her shoulder, making it wet with the damp towel.

"It's okay," Tea said, "It's okay."

But Kisara only shook more and the two slowly moved to their knees in the hug. Tea gripped her tightly, rubbing her back, an anger burning in her, giving her the strength to seemingly hold Kisara together.

"He was a jerk," Tea said, somehow calmly.

"But, but he was right," Kisara managed to get out, "I did lie to him. I..."

"You kept something to yourself," Tea said, "This isn't your fault, you didn't deserve that."

"Yes I did-"

"No you didn't. Yugi-" Tea told her, "I love Yugi, but he can be... he's still learning to be firmer with people. He should have talked to Kaiba much sooner. He's got a good heart but... If he had talked to Kaiba sooner, he wouldn't have blown up at you."

Kisara nodded her head weakly, though she wasn't sure she completely believed Tea. She had felt it in instances, that she should have ignored what Yugi had said, that she should have said something to Seto sooner. With every day that passed where she didn't mention it, tried to hide the fact, ignore the problem... and every day he had been sitting across from her during lunch... She found herself completely in a state of self-loathing. She couldn't blame Yugi if she tried. She should have known better...

"Come on, let's get you into something warm and comfy," Tea said.

Again, she weakly nodded. Getting up, Tea pulled out her comfiest pairs of pajamas. While Kisara got dressed, Tea slipped her phone out from her pocket, sending a text to the others. The search could stop now.

"Do you want us to come by?" Yugi texted back.

Tea hesitated, but with a flick of her finger quickly responded definitively, "No."

Admittedly, she was a little angry at Yugi herself. She understood. She could see where he was coming from, but... Despite herself, she found herself wishing Atem was still here. He would have stepped up. She knew it. But that was... that was a cruel thought. Yugi was doing the best he could.

Kisara knocked on the sliding door and Tea got up to open it, "Feeling any better?"

Kisara shrugged, her hair was pulled back into a tight wet bun. Tea pursed her lips, "Well, at least you're dry. Let's do something with your hair."

Placing a dry towel over Kisara's back, Tea pulled the bun out and let the tangled mess fall. As though noticing for the first time, she saw the silver strands almost gleam as the water trailed down them. Normally, it looked white but with the water... it was like a smooth pearl. She pulled out the hair drier and started to dry Kisara's hair, pretty sure that Kisara didn't feel like doing it herself. But with as much hair as she had, it was probably best if it was dried...

It took a while, lots of brushing, detangling, and running the hair drier over it. The noise seemed to drown out any thoughts the two might have had, an unintentional bonus. Finally, when it was mostly dry, Tea turned the drier off and began to part the hair into three parts before braiding it up. Wrapping a hair tie around the end, she dropped it and let her shoulders slouch. Clearly, it was a long day.

She leaned back and laid on the floor, watching Kisara, who sat still as though nothing had changed. Tea bit her lip.

"You look tired," She said, "You wanna go to bed early?"

Kisara didn't say anything. Tea sat up and walked around to her friend to get her to look up at her, "Hey, Kaiba, he... you can't do anything about him right now. And it's nothing you did anyway. He's always been like that. He just... you can't let him bother you. He has his own issues to deal with, as do you, okay?"

After a moment, her friend gave a slight nod, if only to acknowledge that she had heard her. Tea bent down to give her a hug again, "Come on, we'll have some ice cream and watch something on TV. I hear there's a great new drama starring Takeru Satohi."

After grabbing some ice cream containers from the fridge and throwing a bag of popcorn into the microwave, Tea reached into the closet for some blankets which she lay out in front of the TV for her and Kisara to snuggle up into. She turned the AC on high and grabbed two spoons. Picking up the remote, she handed the whole thing of ice cream to Kisara, to her friend's surprise, and sat down.

"What?" She asked as she saw Kisara watching her.

"Uh.. I, well, uh... isn't this a bit much?" Kisara asked her, indicating the rather large tub of chocolate ice-cream Tea had just handed her.

Tea smiled, "You had a rough day and nothing cures that like ice cream and chocolate. So you eat all of that, you hear me?"

Kisara's eyes widened. She looked down at the tub. It really wasn't that much. Some of it was already eaten but... it still felt over the top, like an overload. Overload... like how upset she had been feeling all day. Like how she wasn't able to properly express anything due to her lack of energy. Why not indulge a bit? Sugar would give her energy anyway right?

She dug a large chunk of the ice cream out with her spoon and stuffed it in her mouth. An immediate brain freeze overcame her and she pursed her lips tight. The TV turned on and slowly the frigid sensation diminished. The chocolate... it had been good. She scooped another bite out and continued to eat, leaning her head back into the blankets and pillows that Tea had pulled out. It didn't make her feel much better, but... it was something.

It was something.

-YGO-

A/N: So, want to know another sad fact? I don't eat ice cream… like at all anymore… And I miss it greatly. I look forward to going to Disney World next year where I'll likely go against the grain anyway and have some… yep… 'cause that's what Disney is for…. Ruining your stomach. XD Anywho, what did you think? Please review! I felt like this chapter had to be more melancholy - something to show the state that they're both in… not that it excuses what Seto did… though I think that part of resolution over matters like this involves a slow realization that we are not always in the right on things. Anyway, let me know your thoughts. :) Also, we've gotten through another 10 chapters guys, so expect review replies soon! Thank you all for sticking with me on this adventure thus far. Till next time, stay safe and healthy everyone! Love you all!

Later!

~Rena