Chapter 10

Make a Fool of Myself


Hina Hikawa spotted a figure who stood by the arched gateway of Haneoka Girls' High School. Her sandy, sailor-like uniform from another school attracted attention. Haneoka students murmured amongst themselves; noticing the similarity between the stranger and Hina, the top student of their prep school.

The said girl, on the other hand, didn't seem to notice the stares from dozens of girls who walked past her. The student from Hanasakigawa leaned to the wall; fiddling with her phone and probably listened to the music as well because she wore earphones.

Hina couldn't believe her eyes. The one and only twin sister of hers visited Hina at school. The Sayo Hikawa who once stated that they shouldn't get on each other's hair once they started high school. The little sister pinched her arm and it hurt.

So this wasn't a dream. Hina smiled as warmth filled her heart. The sight of Sayo was more than enough to brighten her day.

Sayo averted her gaze from the screen. The twins' identical pair of green eyes then met.

"Onee-chan!" Hina's eyes went sparkly. "Whatcha doin' here?"

The girl removed the earphone and said, "Hina Hikawa, we need to talk." She didn't share Hina's enthusiasm and wore the stoic expression that she always had instead.

Talk? Did she hear that right?

Hina dropped her jaw. She wouldn't be surprised if hailstorms would befall Tokyo tonight because Sayo was acting so out of character.

"Y-you bet we can, Onee-chan!" Hina stuttered. "Imma talk with you until midnight—if you want, of course!"

Sayo eyed the person beside Hina. "...I see you're planning to go home with your friend," she said, brushing the little sister's question aside.

"Friend?" Hina was dumbfounded. "Wait, what friend?" The younger twin turned her head, noticing that Kaoru stood beside her. "Oh, right! Kaoru-kun!"

"Are you forgetting me, little kitten?" Kaoru asked with a shaky voice. She touched her chest in a dramatic way and continued, "Aah, my poor fragile heart can't take it…!"

"Oof... Sorry, Kaoru-kun!" said Hina. "I didn't mean to ignore you..."

It's just that, I'm too baffled at Onee-chan's visit, Hina thought.

"I'm just joking, little kitten." Kaoru chuckled. "But how come you never mentioned your sister being a Yamato Nadeshiko, the embodiment of true Japanese beauty?"

"A what, now?" Hina laughed.

Sayo, meanwhile, was rendered speechless by Kaoru's statement.

Kaoru, probably unaware or chose to dismiss Sayo's reaction toward her flirtatious remark, then introduced herself as she extended a hand.

Sayo shook hands with Kaoru. "I'm Sayo Hikawa. Pleased to meet you, Seta-san." The long-haired girl didn't smile as her new acquaintance did, yet her tone was friendlier than when she spoke with Hina. "My little sister must've bothered you with her antics... I apologize on her behalf."


The sky had turned into the color of apricot when the Hikawa twins walked to a tram station. It was the transportation mode which the younger twin usually used to commute home. Hina was about to enter the station when Sayo suggested going on foot instead, which she agreed to right away. Their home was only two stations away from Haneoka, anyway.

"Hey, hey, Onee-chan! How long has it been since we last walked home together?"

"...Beats me," Sayo said, avoiding eye contact with Hina. She glanced at the passing tram instead.

"Mm, I think we still go anywhere together up 'til the first semester of sixth grade…" Hina touched her chin with her index finger as she tried to recall the past. "But then we stopped hanging out after school…" She smiled bitterly.

Sayo just walked without uttering a single word.

"Oh! How about I come to your school next time?" asked Hina. "I heard there's a boppin' curry restaurant near Hanasakigawa. We should eat there sometimes! Imma eat the carrots for you~"

Still silent.

Hina shrugged. Her sister was being weird. Sayo stated they needed to talk, yet she barely said anything. She wondered what went wrong… Did she say something that offended Sayo?

Hina thought really hard.

Was it something about carrots that she mentioned just now? Did her big sister, who hated carrots, suddenly loved the veggie and was reluctant in sharing her portion to Hina?

The twins walked past a bridge that stood side by side with the tram railways. Rows of cherry blossom trees lined up around the river. Students from various schools around the area could be seen here and there, as Haneoka was located in an educational complex.

"Do you like carrots now?" Hina asked. "I won't take them from you, so don't be mad, okay…?"

Sayo turned her head to Hina and let out an inaudible mutter. Her puzzled expression blatantly said, "What the hell are you talking about?", though.

"So… what do you want to talk about, Onee-chan?"

Sayo stopped walking. "I guess it's best to talk here, then." She let out a sigh and proceeded, "I don't want mom to hear this, after all…"

Hina tilted her head in confusion.

Sayo pulled a phone from her school bag. She fiddled with it for a moment, before showing its screen to Hina.

"Explain this."

Hina's eyes widened as she saw a certain video displayed on the screen. It was the footage that she feared most.

"I… It's not like what you think, Onee-chan!"

Sayo lowered her phone and looked away.

"But I played for real, believe me! The agency forced us to fake our perf—"

"—Hina, stop—"

"—It—"

"—I didn't ask for that!"

Hina was startled. Some passersby stopped walking and turned their attention to the pair of twins as well. She could hear them murmuring something about family disputes.

"...As a guitarist myself—" Sayo lowered her voice. She looked straight at Hina now. "—of course, I can tell that you strummed the guitar accordingly to the notes."

Hina's shoulder declined.

"But what I can't forgive is the fact that you, my twin sister, are willing to take part in that fake performance!" A combination of anger and disappointment was apparent on Sayo's face. "How could you… the natural genius, make a fool of yourself?!"

"I… I just want to play the guitar with you…"

"Why do you have to always imitate me? Don't you have your own will?"

Hina couldn't find any word to say.

"And you intended to imitate me with that charade? Do you think a band is some sort of joke?"

"N-no! I didn't mean to…"

Sayo clicked her tongue. "To think that you lowered yourself to this level…"

Hina could only look down to the ground. She didn't dare to look at what kind of face her sister wore right now. Her sight went blurry as tears were formed. It would only take a little while before she would shed grief-stricken tears.

"I regret having you as a little sister."

Hina broke into tears. She could hear her twin's footsteps, farther and farther each passing seconds. The high-schooler fell to her knees. Of course, Sayo would wish to stay away after all that disappointment.

Hina raised her head and saw the blurry figure of Sayo, walking away without a care for her. The girl extended her hand, though knowing fully well that she wouldn't ever reach Sayo.

The girl stared at the ground. "I want us to be boppidy best friends like we did as kids…" Hina said between sobs. Her voice was so weak that it sounded more like a whisper.

The time seemed to have stopped while Hina weep. She just didn't care if people were watching and talking about her emotional meltdown. The dearest person to her just stated that she, indeed, hated Hina.

It was the fact that Hina realized, deep down, yet refused to acknowledge. Up until now…

"—na."

It was faint, but Hina could hear someone was calling out a name.

"—Hina-chan!"

As it became clearer, she realized that someone was calling out her name. And the voice sounded familiar to her ears.

Hina looked up as she wiped her tears. She caught the figure of a pink-haired girl, half-kneeling in front of her. That person was Aya Maruyama, the vocalist as well as the leader of her band. Aya's face was filled with worry.

"A-aya-chan…!"

Hina hugged her bandmate. She hoped Aya's presence could cease her sadness, even just for a little. But her tears flowed even more instead. The girl was sobbing so much that she found it hard to breathe.

Aya could only hug Hina tightly in silence and rubbed her hair.


"Here, Hina-chan."

Hina took a can of strawberry milk from Aya. She looked at the can in reminiscence. It was the milk that she and Sayo used to drink as kids. Her heart stung a bit from recalling the good old days, but she was so thirsty to opt for drinks. So Hina drank it without fussing.

Hina and Aya were sitting in a nearby park. It was quite lively there; with children playing around and adults walking their dogs in the vicinity. Hina wondered when was the last time she and Sayo played together.

Her tears were on the verge of forming up again, but she quickly wiped it with the sleeve of her uniform. The teal-haired girl let out a sigh. Her eyes must've been swollen. What would her mom say if she were coming home later?

Aya then asked what happened just before. Hina told every bad stuff that had occurred since morning; from Haneoka students who bad-mouthed her to what Sayo said before leaving her alone.

Aya hugged Hina and said, "You're not alone, Hina-chan!" She wore a glum face the next second. "I was called 'lip-syncing girl' and other mean stuff too at school." Her lips then formed a bitter smile. "I don't know what people at my part-time job will say later… I was about to go there when I saw you back then."

"And…" Aya let go of the hug. "Regarding Sayo-chan finding out about you…" She bowed and proceeded, "I'm so sorry! It's partly my fault!"

Hina raised one of her eyebrows in confusion.

"You know that we're classmates, right?" Aya said. "When a couple of my classmates were talking about our incident, one of them went like… Um…" She hesitated for a second. "She said that PasuPare's guitarist looked awfully similar to Sayo-chan and showed your photo to her."

Hina's heart sank. To think that being twins would backfire at her… But still, they share the same surname, so people would realize their relationship sooner or later.

"What should we do?" asked Hina. "Many people hate us now… And there's Onee-chan, too…"

Aya stared at her strawberry milk can without uttering a single word.

"...Should I quit the band?" Hina said. "It's no use if I can't play the guitar for real. Onee-chan will hate me even more if I continue playing-pretend."

"N-no, please don't!" Aya exclaimed. "...Is what I wish to ask, but I don't have a right to keep you from quitting." She let out a dry laugh. "Not from a band like this."

"How about you?" Hina asked. "Planning to quit, too?"

"T-that's…" Aya stuttered. She looked down and weakly uttered, "I don't know what to do either…"

The girls sighed in unison and stared at the sunset. Their situation didn't look so good….


Hina and the rest of Pastel✽Palettes members went to the agency the first thing in the morning. Being students, they needed to take a day off from school, which was great. The school wasn't so boppin' anymore; with practically everyone talking bad stuff about her, even made up false rumors… except for a couple of close friends like Kaoru and Lisa.

"All appointments have been canceled." Suzuko Miyagi, the manager of Pastel✽Palettes dropped a bomb. "...For the foreseeable future."

The girls gasped in surprise.

Although Hina had a feeling that today's meeting would be full of bad news, she didn't expect that. Prior to that disastrous debut, their schedule was packed with promotions and training (in order to fake the live performance so well that people won't realize it). But now their calendar was totally blank.

Hina curled her hair in boredom. Why wouldn't the agency split the band altogether?

Miyagi explained that the management decided to put Pastel✽Palettes away from the media, which made Aya raised her concern about the band's future.

"...All I can say is that no decision has yet been made. In the meantime, I need you all to begin music practice as soon as possible," Miyagi answered. "After yesterday's problems, it has become apparent that you must at least be able to play, for real, all of the songs we currently have."

Did Hina hear that right? There would be a chance for them to play music for real? No pre-recorded stuff anymore?

Hina gave it a thought. Sayo was especially disappointed because Hina was involved in a lip-syncing and miming instruments charade. If Pastel✽Palettes could perform without trickery like what they did before, Sayo would change her mind and forgave Hina.

Her bandmates were in a state of confusion, especially Eve who questioned the agency's erratic decisions. Aya, Maya, and Chisato calm her down in turns; while Miyagi left the meeting room.

Aya suddenly gasped. "What's this…?"

"What is it, Aya-san?" Maya approached the vocalist, who showed some kind of a web portal on the phone.

Hina who happened to sit beside Aya didn't need to raise from her seat. She peeked on Aya's phone and read the headline, "Pastel-Colored Failure! Lip-Syncing Pretenders Caught In First Show?"

Chisato and Eve joined in as Aya scrolled the page to the comment section. Hundreds of comments were posted there. Most of them, if not all, were nasty comments addressed to all members. Chisato, being the most famous of five, received the most hate.

Hina didn't have the chance to read the online comments before, due to already uninstalling the social media apps on her phone beforehand and she didn't bother to access the news as well. But seeing what the netizens wrote firsthand was kind of disheartening.

"Wow. Those are some pretty mean comments," Hina commented.

"Pretty mean, yeah…" Aya laughed dryly. "But they are right, I suppose…" She wore a glum face. "I am inexperienced, and I am just pretending…"

"Even so, there are nicer ways of saying than this." Eve's shoulders declined. "People shouldn't hurt other people like this!"

"You're right," Chisato added. "But that's just how the media is, I'm afraid."

Although being mocked by netizens, Chisato still kept her calm and composed attitude. Hina guessed it might be due to her being an actress. The blonde must've good at concealing her emotion… Which was kind of sad, if that was the case.

"Hey, Chisato-chan," said Hina.

"Yes?"

"Don't hate comments irritate you?"

Chisato stood motionlessly but later smiled. "Oh, where's this coming from?"

"Nah, just curious about how a pro handles this kind of stuff." Hina raised her shoulders. "That's all~"

Aya, Eve, and Maya turned their attention to Chisato. Surely, they would want to know as well, as fellow people who received the same backlash.

Chisato chuckled. "It's a lie if I were to say 'I'm not affected', but..." She paused for a second before resumed, "You won't survive long in the entertainment industry if you keep dwelling in frustration." The actress put her right hand on the hip and wore a confident smile. "If I'm allowed to quote one of the hate comments: 'Actors gonna act', then there's 'Haters gonna hate' as well."

"Whoa, you're so boppidy!" Hina's eyes were sparkling in excitement.

"I see…" Aya nodded. "In other words, don't let haters knock you down."

Hina crossed her hands. "So… Every move we make from now on, the media will be writing articles like this about us…" She rubbed her chin. "And that must be why we were told to stay out of the spotlight, mm?"

"I understand... I was told about all of this in my training." Aya nodded. "It's okay. Even the most loved idols have their own share of backlashes!" She forced a reassuring smile.

"But it's not okay!" exclaimed Eve. "I... I cannot just let them say these things about us!" She clenched her fist and raised it to the air. "Aya-san, Hina-san, Maya-san, Chisato-san...!" she called the remaining band members. "Let's practice and practice and practice until we can get back out, performing again!"

"Sounds good to me." Hina chuckled. "I was always looking forward to performing on a huge stage somewhere!"

Someday, somewhere alongside Sayo.

"I can't let it end like this either…" Maya said. "I made my decision to do what I can to support Pastel✽Palettes as your drummer…."

Aya became all-teary. "You guys...!" She quickly wiped her eyes and rose from the chair. "Okay! Let's work our absolute hardest... And make ourselves a whole new Pastel✽Palettes!"


To be continued…

Next chapter: #11 Pasupa Revolutions


A/N: Been three months since I last updated this series! I don't have other excuses except for prolonged procrastination. So sorry! I'm going to try to discipline myself more in the future. Please bear with me and stay tuned!

P.S. I plan to end the first arc (this painful stage of Hikawa twins' relationship, which is agony to write) in two or three more chapters, then proceed to their reconciling moments.