AN: After this chapter I'm going to take a short break from this fic to work on some others. I really do love working on this one though so know I'll come back to it. Hope you guys are all safe.

Chapter Fifty Two

I don't know what happened. He had been making so much progress and doing it so steadily. His speech had improved to the point where one who didn't know his history might say that he sounded nervous or that he was insecure, you wouldn't necessarily put it to brain damage. He had also been spending more time with the girls, more time being social. He was supposed to keep getting better. We were all supposed to be celebrating him and his birthday tomorrow. This wasn't supposed to happen.

I take a nervous breath as I see Father's phone number, he said he'd call me as soon as there was any news or update on Kuon's condition. I know that it's bad. I promise that I will take care of him however he needs it. Even if he somehow lost his memories and he doesn't know me or he's developed some schizophrenic symptoms, I will do anything in my power to take care of him. I can work harder. I can be more devoted to him. I need another chance.

As I press the answer button I feel something that I have never experienced, a chilling feeling that goes through me as fast as someone snapping their fingers. It's like I've been zapped by lightning. "Father!" I say quickly before hearing heavy breathing. I open my mouth and want to put the phone down, my whole body is in a free fall moment. Cold. All I feel is cold.

"Kyoko, he's gone," Father says and I head the deep depression in his tone. I feel terrible that I am here with our daughters when I could have been holding Corn's hand during his last breath. I shake my head and laugh painfully.

"He's gone through the ICU? He's gone into surgery?" I ask and Father takes a very slow breath.

"They said that it would have been a miracle if he had survived the operation. They asked me if I wanted his ring and I just…I took anything of his that they offered me but they still need to go through some more steps to…" Father sobs painfully. "Release the body to us. Kyoko, I can take care of everything here but what do you want me to do?"

I know that Father is relying on his acting skills to even have this conversation with me. I don't know what to do. I try to close my eyes but all I can hear is his voice, all I can see is his eyes, his hair, his smile. I put a hand to where I have the tattoo with his name and I scream unable to take the pain. I throw the phone down onto the ground and sob. The pain is too much. Ever since I was a six-year-old, I've relied on Corn. Ever since I was sixteen-years-old, I've had faith that Ren or Kuon would always be there to help me with whatever I might need.

I no longer have him in my life. I scream again, grabbing his pillow but it just hurts so much to smell him and I break down, my arms wrapped around the pillow. Kuon. Please, please no. Please.

I hear a knock on the door and I see Rose. I know that she says that she's sorry but if it wasn't for her disobeying me, he would still be alive. She nervously comes over to me and I pull back. As she reaches for me I take a step back. I don't want her here. Someone else has to take care of her. I don't want to see her right now.

"Your dad is dead!" I snap at her and she pauses and bows her head. "He died because you.- why can't you listen and do what you're told!" I yell at her before feeling myself throw up as she stands there shivering. I don't want to deal with her anymore. I don't want to forgive her. I feel myself choking as my mind seems to warp. "Don't touch me. If it wasn't for you then Kuon would still be here, he would still be alive."

I see Rose break down into tears and she runs off and I can't cope with this. I can't deal with this alone. I've spent so much time and energy in keeping us together and now Kuon….I sniff. Kuon would want me to go after Rose and assure her that this was an accident and that she's just a little girl and never intended for this to happen. Kuon would wrap her up tight in his arms and promise they would work on the pain disappearing together but Kuon's always been the good parent. I've always learned by following Kuon's example.

I reach for my phone and my eyes widen as I see that Father has remained on the line.

"I'll send Julie over, then when she has the girls, do you want to join me at the hospital?" he asks and I can hear how devastated he is. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have blamed her. I've turned out just like my own mother.

"Okay," I reply in a hollow manner.

KyKyKyKy

I look at the items which they have handed me. There's his wedding ring, a couple of chains that were around his neck, his shoes, some other items, and then the jacket he was wearing. The shirt and pants were too bloodied to be given to me. I don't know what to do. He started gasping for air and went into shock in the ambulance and then I was told that I couldn't come with him into the ER. Before I knew anything else, I was being told that he was dead.

What is perhaps most devastating is I saw it all happen. I could have saved him or pulled him back. I could have done something other than fail my little boy again. I look around feeling drained. Thirty two years ago, I was in this same hospital with Julienna who was in labor. I remember the happiness and pride I felt when I rushed here with her. How proud I was to be a father. I remember the first time I saw Kuon how much I treasured him. I remember when he reached out to take my finger and blinked up at me.

I know that Kyoko is dealing with this in her own way but I feel like a horrible grandfather. Rose isn't at fault here and Kuon wouldn't want for anyone to think that he had died because of her. Kuon would want people to think that he was responsible for his own death and that he chose to protect his daughter. I can make the excuse that I was taking care of Ana but I should have done more to help. If I had been only a moment faster.

I look up at the nurse who has just passed me, they look panicked. "I'm sorry," I tell her feeling completely drained. "My son? I know that his time of death has been recorded but I wanted to know if there was a chance that I could see him. Has he been taken to the morgue? His cor—cor-pse" I choke on that word, my whole body shaking as I break down. He doesn't have a living and breathing body, he has a corpse, remains. He died at thirty-one. If he had lived just one more day he would have been thirty-two.

Before the nurse responds, I see Kyoko staggering towards me. She runs towards me and I open my arms for her. I can't blame her for her reaction and it's not going to make things better to try to convince her how to handle her own grief.

"The doctor didn't tell you?" the nurse says and I look at her completely bewildered, Kyoko wrapped up in my arms. "I'm not sure I should say this but…the corpse is gone."

KyKyKyKy

I can't move. I don't know where I am. I can't even turn my head. I try to open my mouth to say something but nothing is coming out. Is this the afterlife? I only see blackness and some blue and yellow lighting. The afterlife is like a nightclub or video game?

I feel someone coming over to me and I try to open my mouth but I'm frozen. I feel dizzy, woozy. I didn't know that I would be so present mentally to face my own demons.

"Don't worry," I hear someone else say as I sense two bodies in the room. "You won't die until I tell you to. I've wanted this for a long time. Keeping you alive for a month was hard enough." The voice is so familiar. Ice cold feelings. Seeing Rick's body. It can't possibly be?

I feel a needle jammed into my arm and then a release of medicine which is making me feel light headed and that I'm no longer in reality. "The drugs will sedate him for you," the woman with the unfamiliar voice says and I feel the first woman grab my hair and yank it and I'm not able to fight back. Am I completely catatonic? "Ricky, what do you want to do to him?"

"It'll come in time," 'Ricky' says and she forces me to look at her.

Does Tina still hate me this much!?

End of Chapter Fifty Two

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