Fallout
Xander's next date is a trip with Leda, Anastasia, Minnie and Isla. Soon, tensions between Leda and Isla become evident, and Xander learns about the differences in opinions between Leda and Isla, wondering how much he is missing. Later on that night, Anastasia helps him take a break and they speak about his sister, and Minnie has night terrors at night. In the morning, Isla and Xander end up in a harsh discussion about the Sumner reconstruction, with no clear answer.
Chapter 36
» Maybe being honest to oneself wasn't that good«
Xander's Drawing Room, Los Angeles, Angeles
Crown Prince Xander of Illéa
This was strange, Xander couldn't help but thinking.
This was right, Xander told himself. After all, this was the Selection and he had an obligation to help Sophia keep up that fairy tale image that she wanted so bad. It was entirely in the idea of the Selection that Xander would go out and meet with the girls. That's how it worked. That was the plan.
Except that now, he had chosen to do this round, give each girl a chance and be fair but—
"Everything is allowed, in love and war," he told himself. He had done that earlier in his life, though, and that hadn't ended all too well.
Xander Illéa had asked for Irina Cavanah to come by to his room. He vaguely remember that such, visiting the prince's chambers, had been a special privilege in his father's Selection—going by the tales told by Abby—but he wanted to speak to Irina as person, not as prince. His office didn't fit.
He needed an answer.
"Lady Irina has arrived, sir."
"Please let her come in."
Irina had long fallen into the pattern of the palace fashion, and by all means, Xander respected that. He had heard enough about some girls—eliminated girls—insisting on wearing their own style, but being a royal meant the ability to adept. Besides, Irina looked beautiful. Really beautiful.
"I… I'm sorry for bothering you."
Irina opened her mouth, but hesitated. "I would say 'This is part of the Selection', but given how often I've let myself into your office, I suppose it's more habit. I do have something I need to talk to you about, though, so it fits with me."
Something she had to talk about with him? Was that good or bad? Being so ominous was never good, was it? He had been ominous when bringing the news of his mother's death to his father. Was Irina planning to leave? Had their date pushed her away?
"Then," Xander replied, gesturing to sit down, "go ahead."
Irina sat down, glanced on the table and straightened her back. She looked into Xander's eyes. "Do you remember our conversation at the convention?"
"Yes." She was going to ask to leave. She was going to ask to leave. He messed up.
"We were talking about travelling, and then, we came back on your hesitancy in regards of love and how to chose your One."
"Yes."
"Xander, I feel like there is something missing. There's something that you haven't added. You say that you're concerned about choosing someone who will cause lasting consequences, such as your mother."
"And…?"
"I…" Irina broke off, and glanced aside. She glanced at her immaculate nails. "I can't help but thinking—there's something off. That there's something, you haven't told me about. Of course, this is a big choice and will inevitably come with consequences, but—there's more to it. It's a logical thing. You could…" she broke off.
"I could…?"
"The Selection has been going on for three weeks. You've seen how the people reacted to all of us. Soon, you'll have met each of us properly. Why are you still afraid?"
"It's just an illogical, I do. What if I chose the wrong person for the country? What if the girl I like isn't—"
"The girl you like?" Irina frowned, in disappointment—and more? More than Xander couldn't read—or didn't dare to. Of course, Xander told himself. Someone as logical as Irina wouldn't be fond of him choosing based on feelings. Especially with how that ended up last time…
"I'm only human, Irina," he chose to say, but looked down. "If I can, then I want to fall in love, but what if I love the wrong person?"
"Do you like one of the Selected?"
"I don't know."
"You weren't concerned about this in the past."
"I was afraid that it'd happen."
"So, do you like Kate?" Irina blurted out. "Is that why you are so concerned? Because you like her, and she isn't exactly material for the throne?"
"No!" he called out. "I mean… Lady Katheryn is a lovely lady, but I've met her a total of two times. I couldn't tell if—"
"Who then?" Irina demanded. "Who, in the Selection, do you like that much that you are avoiding talking to me about this? I thought we were beyond that, Xander. You've been… more open to me than this. Who of the girls are you considering but me?"
"… but you?"
"I—" Irina blushed. "I don't mean to… I…" she stuttered and broke off. She took a deep breath, gathered herself. Xander's heart skipped a beat. What if? What if? "I, kind of, like you, Xander. I respect you, and I know that you respect me. I like that. I like you."
"Irina, I—"
She wasn't done yet. "I understand that you are worried that you will find someone that isn't fit to lead Illéa with you. That you are concerned that you will fall in love with the wrong person, or that the right person won't like you. I like you, Xander. I know that I am a capable leader. I know that until now, we've been more-the-less friends, but… I don't want to just be that. I'm a part of the Selection too, but I need to know what's going on."
"Irina…"
"Can you tell me that?"
Xander couldn't help a smile. Not when this was what he had needed. "At first, I was afraid to fall in love with the wrong person, and at the same time, I was afraid I wouldn't find someone who could lead Illéa. What if the woman I like won't work with Illéa? What do I do if I have to chose another?" he paused. "But the woman I like would be a good Queen. I know that, because I agree with you. I like you too, Irina."
She smiled. "I'm glad to know that we are on the same page."
"I am too." Xander paused. He didn't exactly have much of a plan as to what to do now. It was just… good to know. Good to know that he didn't need to be afraid or worried about the outcome of the Selection anymore.
Yet, though, he knew that there was one thing he couldn't do. "I cannot end the Selection yet, though." Not when so many things were vaguely planned and he didn't know for sure if Irina was really the One. They were only young, after all. And he needed time.
"One does not simply walk into Mordor, Xander."
"… You really need to make me watch these movies."
"I'll do," Irina chuckled. "What I mean to say is—it would be inappropriate of me to [ush you towards that. It would imply that I only want the best for me, and that's not true. There's Illéa, and you." And logic dictated that they didn't know if this 'like' would stay or change.
Xander smiled. "Right. Thank you."
Irina rose. "That being said—do you have time right now? It's not too late in the evening, and I, surprisingly, do not have any plans. We might as well get started on The Hobbit, can't we?"
Xander followed her suit, and stepped closer to her. "The palace—thank Gregory Illéa—actually has a home cinema. We could go there, maybe?"
Irina smiled—now much more like a happy child than the strong, beautiful woman she was. "Oh, definitely!"
Xander, although he didn't use the cinema as much as Sophia and Ernest, knew his way through. He listened to Irina's casual chatter about The Hobbit, how the movie had been made and where it came from. Because the cinema was in the basement, they had to walk down the three floors, but with Irina's chatter on the books, that was fine.
"You know," Xander eventually said on their way, stopping for a moment. "I was thinking. I'll need to deal with the British-New Asian tensions eventually. Not only does Illéa, but all of the world. I've been starting to make talks in regards of a summit between world leaders."
Irina nodded, all professional and calm. "Is it going to be held here in Illéa? Wouldn't our history with New Asia and Russia, as well as our alliance with European countries make us biased?"
Xander shook his head. "I haven't figured out how, but I want to try and talk the Commonwealth into hosting it in New Zealand. So I can bring you girls and have an excuse to go and see Hobbiton with you, in person."
Irina hesitated. "That's—that's gonna be expensive."
"Not if the Commonwealth ends up paying. Even if I can't take all girls, I would take you. Travelling, as we said—but for work and person reasons."
"I…" Irina laughed out, happy. "Are you serious?"
"I've only started talks, but I think it's doable. New Zealand is a peaceful country. It's got more sheep than people. I could talk the Commonwealth into making the official suggestion, and held it there, because it's somewhat close to New Asia, but less intimidating than Australia would be."
"I… Xander…" Irina smiled. "You better make that happen now."
"I'll give my best." Xander leaned in, and before he knew, he kissed Irina, and she kissed him back.
"I—I'm sorry. I don't have much experience with—" he stuttered after.
Irina laughed. "That's fine, Xander. It's fine. Really."
"Really? I'm—" he broke off. "What am I even worrying about."
"If you're so concerned," Irina dared, "then I'm willing to help practise."
"I'm happy to accept that help," Xander replied, kissing her once more.
"You know what, your highness?" Irina teased. "I think the only way you're "going to get better is if you practice every day."
"At least I've got you to help. I don't see an issue with that."
They did not get to watch Lord of the Rings that day, but by all means, Xander wasn't complaining. He was happy. Maybe the Selection wasn't that scary after all.
/ / /
Women's Room in the Palace, Los Angeles, Angeles
Jaira Phillips
"Team three, assemble!" Jaira announced. Even though they still had more than enough time, the 'team do some philanthropy work or something' was all too set on working something out now, to avoid any time problems.
Alongside Jaira, her team included Deylin, Rie, Leila and Nereida. Jaira liked to think that to be a good line-up, including representing all types of people. "I would say, let's do something with hospitals," she said. "I'm a bio-chemist. I work on developing medicine. It's something I care about."
Rie tilted her head. "I'd like to suggest something relating to Eights, for obvious reasons. There are a few charities and shelters helping us. I want to support them."
"What about doing something related to giving medical supplies or similar to them?" Deylin suggested.
"Maybe a veteran hospital?" Leila piped up. "Or a charity that helps them readjust to their lives?"
"I like that one," Rie nodded.
"Sounds good to me!" Nereida hummed. To be fair, Jaira almost expected her to say that to everything though.
Quickly, she made notes. "Veteran hospital or similar, and look at charities."
"Very good," Leila replied. "We do need to discuss what exactly we want to do, though. I'm sure that if we find a charity to work with, they will be happy to handle the financial aspect of it, but we need round about everything else, though."
"If we do want to raise money," Deylin begun, "how does that even work? Where do we get it from? I never understood that…"
"I…" Nereida broke off. "I don't know!"
Leila overlooked the comment. "Awareness, meaning the whole thing will be in the news and online, which will include invitations to donate, as well as, essentially, selling access. That's how it often goes. We could, quietly, invite people who can afford it in exchange for a 'voluntary donation'."
"Except it's not voluntary if they want to come," Rie deadpanned.
Leila shrugged. "The type we aim at can pay the medical bills of a veteran with the amount they spend on clothes for a day. They don't care—and it makes them look good. That's why people want Princess Sophia to come to their events. Not because she'll end up donating tons, but because people will come to meet her, and pay to come."
"Ooooh!" Nereida called out.
"We have the people you want to meet. The royal family, the Savoys, and the Selected," Jaira stated. "That should be more than enough."
"It is," Leila nodded. "Plus, maybe we can ask Veira to invite her uncle. Even better."
"Her uncle?"
"Governor Schreave of Waverly. He's been running the province for years," Jaira elaborated.
"Would we get enough coverage though?" Deylin asked. "I mean, why would they put on footage of some people talking and eating? Isn't that what they do at galas?"
Rie shrugged. "We could do something more interesting with that, maybe?"
"Such as?" Nereida asked. "Oooh! We could go to a ballet!"
"That's…" Leila hesitated. "Probably a bit off-topic."
"Given that there are still veterans in hospitals, maybe that? A hospital visit?" Jaira suggested.
"While children might like that," Rie remarked, "I can assure you, your average soldier isn't that invested into meeting a bunch of girls dressed up. And it kind of feels like we are just showing off, and don't put emphasis on them."
"What about teaming up with a hospital, or shelter or something, and doing some sort of event? Maybe a walkathon?" Leila offered. "We could also look if some of the other Selected have veteran family members who would like to help."
Rie titled her head. "That's dumb. It just highlights disabilities."
"It would raise awareness, though," Deylin reasoned.
"It would make a spectacle out of it," Rie deadpanned. "There are enough people who fetishize amputees. No need to give them material."
"Maybe," Jaira said, "we could go for something team-work like? As in, we pair someone with a disability and someone without up? To promote helping another."
Rie didn't seem very happy with that suggestion, though. Jaira was good enough at reading people to see the disdain form in her face and her glance at them. "Again. It's just highlighting it and makes us seem like we can't function on our own."
"I like it," Leila said.
"I think it's sweet!" Nereida agreed.
"It sucks." Rie replied. "I like the team work, not the 'let's display disability' part."
Deylin frowned. "So, as cool as this is—the born-Illéan-princess-turned-Italian-Queen visits and what do we do? Go to a hospital? Is this how we want to represent Illéa?"
"We would show the world that we, in Illéa, are recovering, and helping those in need," Leila replied.
"If we do the walkathon, then we could invite not only Amelie but also Sophia, and maybe the two Italian princes, to join us?" Jaira remarked. "Then we've got them in too."
"Would royalty to that?" Rie deadpanned. "I don't know-but I can't picture Sophia doing that, at least."
Leila shrugged. "If she didn't want to, then she should have given us guidelines, don't you agree?"
"I'm not entirely sure if that will make much of a difference though," Jaira pointed out. She took the papers filled with notes. "We could invite the public to join, against a small fee. If anyone related to whatever charity or hospital, we'll work with want to join, they can for free, of course. Then it's not a spectacle or something, but an activity for everyone."
"So, more like a festival?" Rie asked.
"Something for everyone. Children to elderly people."
Rie nodded. "I like that better."
"Great!" Nereida, with her extraordinary input, cheered. "Maybe we could find a way to connect the children and veterans?"
"Oh?" Leila turned to her. "That's a good idea. We could, besides that, find a local school or kindergarten to team up with veterans, and even elderly people—connect generations and that kind of stuff!"
"Oooh, I like that!" Nereida cheered.
Jaira smiled. "I do too." The others agreed. "Rie, do you maybe want to look into finding a hospital, charity or anything similar that would work with that? I trust that you know best."
"I can," and Leila said that with disdain, "look at the organisation in general. Coordinate things—especially with local councils and so on. Where'd we do that?"
"In the provinces mostly affected by the war?" Deylin suggested.
"We'd need to travel—that'd probably be either Fennley or Sumner. Angeles would do fine, wouldn't it?" Jaira suggested. "I mean, the Unrest ended here, so…"
"True." Deylin nodded. "Then, Leila speaks to local authorities. I can look into finding children."
"I'll speak to Princess Sophia about our plans," Jaira promised. She may, given Nereida's history with not knowing obvious things, left her out on purpose. "That sounds like a good plan. Good work team!" Jaira hummed. She began collecting the notes, handing each team member the ones they needed to focus on, when Andreia stepped closer to the couches and table they had been occupying.
"What's up?" Deylin asked her.
"Have you guys seen Irina around?" she asked. "I've been trying to find her, but it's no doing no good."
"Ask the staff?" Leila suggested. "Or maybe, she's working? She's one of the more diligent listeners in the lessons. Maybe she's revising?"
"We always do that together. That's why I'm looking for her."
"Odd. Where do you usually hang out?" Deylin asked.
"One of our rooms, or the Women's Room. I checked that."
"Maybe, ask Leda or Rowan? Maybe Isla? They're quite studious too," Leila added on. "Maybe she joined them?"
Andreia shook her head. "I met saw them on my way here with the kids."
"That's odd," Rie stated with a frown. "I'm sure she'll be around though."
"If she was eliminated, we would've heard," Deylin agreed. "Let's check with the staff."
/ / /
Xander's Office in the Palace, Los Angeles, Angeles
Irina Cavanah
It was odd to say, how much one moment could change. Outside and inside, Irina knew, that something was different now. Maybe because she was much more honest with herself—that she liked Xander.
Three days after that first kiss, Irina found herself on her way to Xander's office one more time—for the unspoken tradition of her visit before his dates. Since Kate and Xander's decision to keep her in, that meant a bitter taste though. Hence her not coming last week.
"Knock, knock," she muttered, ignoring the guard that was well accustomed to her continuous visits.
"Come in," the prince replied. "How was your morning?"
"Isla Woodley stepped on my feet twice when I we were having dance practise," Irina chatted, "with heels."
Xander cringed over his paperwork. "That doesn't sound good."
"How was your morning?"
"Budgeting."
"Fun."
Xander nodded. "I'm going through the budget Sophia has proposed for the next month. The Italians are leaving nearby the end, so I consider that to be a good spot to do another cut-off."
Irina nodded. She knew that. "Who?"
"I have some I'm considering." And Kate Blanchard wasn't one of them. "I'm a bit concerned as to what I've heard about Zarah Baine."
"Huh?"
"Blair Willow told me that Zarah seems to want to head home. At least, she said that she behaved in a way that implied that. I barely even remember my only conversation with her, so I can't say much."
"Zarah…" Irina paused. How should she put that? "She seems to be the type to be here for the caste upgrade and money. I agree. I think she was surprised not to be eliminated."
"Oh?" Xander looked up. "That's good to know. She's in today's date; I think I should be able to check on that then."
"Paintball, was it?" Irina nodded. That sounded fun. Too bad she wasn't in it—even if the convention was her first choice.
"Laser tag, actually. The closest place does laser tag, and to be honest, I would prefer that."
"I'm really disappointed that I'm not invited," Irina joked. "I'd be good at it."
"We can go another time," Xander promised. "We also have Alessandra, Sawyer and Ami today. What can you tell me about them?"
Irina sat down, and thought for a moment. "Alex has an on-going fight with Harriet. They constantly clash. Alex has Leila on her side, while Harriet has Veira on her side—as far as that goes. Veira tends to sleep a lot in class."
Xander nodded. "What are the tensions between Alessandra and Harriet about? Is it the same as Isla Woodley and Leda Conner?"
"… Oh? Are there tensions between them?" Irina asked, surprised. "Alex dislikes Harriet's upper-class attitude, I suppose. I guess she and Zarah get along?"
"I see." Xander nodded.
"What happened with Isla and Leda?"
"They've got similar differences."
"I see," Irina nodded. "Ami and Zarah are friends, but Ami is more-the-less Nereida toned down, from what I caught on. A bit impulsive, but alright. You'll be fine."
"I do hope that…" Xander nodded.
"What have you been working on?"
"Nothing major. Just the education budget for the next school year." Xander sighed. So, there were problems with it.
"What's the problem with it?"
"I'm unsure as to how to proceed. Sophia and a few other people agree that we should put more money into the education of the lower castes—to prevent another uprising. You know, the idea that educated people make better decisions. However, we need a lot of money for infrastructure—there isn't much we can move without raising taxes, and given the nature of the beginning of the Unrest, that's a bad idea."
"Economic issues, yes." Irina nodded.
"There just isn't enough money. That's why I also need to look over Sophia's Selection budget—because it's far too large."
"How many girls were you planning to kick out, again?"
"Five to ten. I'm concerned that ten will look too much, but the maths say that five isn't enough. I'll need to see. Maybe six or seven. Maybe Sophia's charity work is well received and will distract the population."
Irina tilted her head. "It's not as much focus as to guessing why the girls from last time were chosen to come. I suppose, though, if you need to make a statement, the combination of 'I don't want to make false hopes' and 'It's expensive; we can use the money elsewhere' seems appealing enough."
Xander nodded. "True." He glanced to the clock, and Irina found herself almost sighing. Always busy. Xander was always busy. She didn't like that—she needed to find a way for this to change. "I need to go, I have a meeting in town," he said.
How strange, Irina thought, how one moment could make her start feeling so heavy about the Selection. Gone was the ideal platform for her to spread her own ideas. Gone was the door to politics. There was only that glance, wondering whenever she really wanted Xander to go on a date she helped organise. Maybe being honest to oneself wasn't that good.
/ / /
Author's Note
I totally beta'd this. 100%. Totally. Mega beta read. Twice. (Please don't ask me what happened, I forgot.)
