Author's note: Heya! Big sorry for the last upload with all the formatting left in. I have no idea how it happened, and really appreciate FriendlyNeighborhoodHufflepuff pointing it out. Thanks fren! :D
Also, I need to state for the record that I am a huge jim who is still working out how to use this site, which on top of getting so absorbed in writing this stuff makes for glacially slow replies to comments. I'll get there if I don't forget, but while I'm here: I appreciate you lovely folk saying g'day and reading my scribbles. That's mighty kind of you and means a lot to me!

I cannot overstate how excited I was for that feast. I had intentionally skipped lunch to make room for all the food I intended to eat, though to be honest, in terms of my appetite, skipping a meal didn't seem to make much difference either way these days. In fact, in much the same way as I never felt tired any more, I never really felt hungry or thirsty, either, and irrespective of what I ate and drank, my body and wellbeing did not change.

I had done pretty well with almost entirely quitting sleep. Food, however, was a whole other kettle of fish. I didn't make any efforts to get food or drinks out of my schedule at all. I loved the social aspect of food, I enjoyed the taste and texture, and valued the predictability it kept in my schedule. It was decidedly odd, though, and a part of me missed the noisy grumbling of an empty belly.

The strangeness didn't end there, though, as it happens. It had also come to my attention that I could change quite fundamental things, such as eye colour, body composition, height, and even hair length.

It was so tempting to change from a medium-height, light brown-haired, grey-eyed, fairly thin sort into a massively tall, ultra-muscular redhead with shocking yellow eyes, just to mess around with people, and I was going to do it at the feast tonight, but then I realised I wouldn't fit my robes, and nudity was strictly forbidden in Elrond's halls.

Conceding defeat, I emerged from my room as my 'normal' self, albeit slightly better dressed than usual, and followed the smell of food, keen as a bloodhound, all the way to the dining hall.

Well, didn't I feel like I had hit the jackpot. I stepped inside and was greeted by the sight of mountains of food on various tables set up around the hall. At a glance, I would have guessed that I was in the presence of some two or three million calories, and that was only what I could see here, not counting what was stockpiled away in the kitchens.

I turned around when I heard a voice from behind me.
"Ah, Rhodri! There you are." It was Elrond, dressed to the nines (though he usually was), standing with Gil-Galad. They smiled at me warmly. I smiled back.

"Come and sit with Gil-Galad and me, and we'll wait for Glorfindel and Bregedúr to arrive," he said, motioning me to follow them as he made his way to the head of the table.

I was touched. I had assumed that Elrond would probably be in rather high demand tonight from his officials, and had planned to just find a place wherever I could at the table, but he wanted me to sit with him, in our happy little group.

For a brief moment, I was lost in the overwhelming joy that comes with knowing a friend cared for me as much as I did for them. I was snapped out of it when Elrond turned around and saw I was back there.

"Rhodri? Are you coming?"

"Right behind you!" I scuttled along after them.

Glorfindel and Bregedúr came along shortly after, which was good, as the hall was starting to fill up quite quickly. The five of us started loading up our plates, and fell into that interesting pattern of bursts of conversation interspersed by periods of quiet as we intensively stuffed our faces.

In one of the moments of quiet as we were packing our food away, I noticed that there were quite a number of Elves who didn't quite seem like the variety I was accustomed to here. They were somewhat shorter, and sported more earthen colours than the usual jewel and pastel colours that featured in the Imladris look book.

"Say, who are the shorter Elves?" I asked the group.

"Oh! They are the Silvan Elves of Mirkwood," explained Glorfindel.

"They live to the east of the Misty Mountains in the huge forest there," added Bregedúr.

"Ah, these are the people with the spider problems," I mused.

"Oh, my word, yes," said Gil-Galad with a laugh. "Those spiders are a terror."

I went against my better judgement and enquired further. "How… ah… big do these spiders get?" I asked nervously.

Gil-Galad frowned. "Ah, let's see, the biggest one I ever encountered on a visit to Oropher was probably from this end of the table to… hmm…" he looked down the table and eventually pointed at the sixth or seventh seat down. "Down to about where that plate of grapes sits- that's the size without including the legs," he added.

"Christ on a segway," I murmured as I stared wide-eyed at my food. I looked up again and delivered another rapid fire question: "How big do the spiders get here, by the way?"

Elrond touched his index finger to his thumb like he was making the 'OK' sign. "Comparatively tiny," he reassured me.

"Whattarelief." I heaved a sigh and speared a potato.

"The Mirkwood Elves are important trading partners," Elrond continued. "Much of our alcohol and certain wood supplies come from Oropher's realm. We, in turn, send textiles and honey, so it is a rather mutually beneficial arrangement."

"I see," I mused. "So is Oropher here tonight? Can you point out which one he is?"

"He is indeed here," came a voice from two seats down.

I turned sharply and saw a rather formidable-looking Elf looking back at me. He had white-blonde hair and piercing blue eyes, and his head was adorned with a wrought gold circlet in the shape of a leaf crown.

"Rhodri, this is King Oropher. Oropher, Rhodri is Imladris' psychologist," said Elrond, gesturing between us indicatively.

"Ah, so you're the psychologist!" Oropher said, pointing at me. "Yes, I have heard about you and your counsel. I wonder, would you be interested in assisting my grandson? He has a terrible fear of spiders, which simply won't do in Mirkwood."

"I-I'm happy to help in any way I can," I stammered out, slightly shocked that someone would voice psychological issues to a stranger at the table- someone else's psychological issues, no less. "If he is interested, just send him to my office whenever he's ready. I'm right by Lord Elrond's study, so you can't miss it."

"Yes," he continued on. "He is terrified of even the smallest thing- the boy is two hundred years old, and still cringes at even the mention of them. Why, only the day before we left to fight against the siege, he looked as though he was about to cry for fear of seeing spiders as we passed through the forest!" He laughed a little.

I had to exert some effort to stop my mouth from falling open. This was incredibly inappropriate- but what do you say to a royal, lest it sour diplomatic relations?

"Ah, well, we all have our cross to bear," I said quickly, and as Oropher's sneer twisted in a confused expression, I seized the opportunity to cut him off again. "You know, I've always loved the fortified wines we get from your region, Sir. I have never tasted anything so exquisite in my life. Do you like to pair your wine with any particular foods?"

Thank god, that diverted him for a bit. He was more than happy to monologue about his fermented grape juice hobbies, and though I wasn't very interested in wine, I knew boredom was better than the indignance I felt as Oropher bagged out his grandson in a very public place.

Even better, after he had finally finished his half-hour winocentric soliloquy, Oropher excused himself to go and mingle with others. As he pushed his chair out, I caught sight of a depressed-looking Elf who had been obscured by Oropher this entire time. He had similar hair and eyes, but his angular face had a much less severe look than that of Oropher. I guessed that he was probably the grandson, as he was flanked by another Elf who was almost a replica of Oropher-likely the father.

I gave him a warm smile, a reciprocal smile starting to flicker across his features but then disappeared as the presumed father stood up and placed a hand on his shoulder. He looked sad again, and followed suit, both departing from the table together.

At last, I was free to turn my attention back to my friends, and gave them all what I call the "This bitch!" look. You know the one. You and your friends see someone behaving like an arsehole in public and you share the "this bitch!" look because you know damned well you'll be discussing it in private later. That was the look I shot them, and it was the one they- albeit very subtly- returned.

We didn't get up straight away, though, instead opting to sit awhile longer and chat awhile longer.

"One more question," I bid them. They all smiled and listened.
"Who is in the portrait hanging up there? I feel like I've seen a couple of portraits around the place with those two." I pointed at a huge oil painting that hung up on one side of the hall. The depicted were a regal-looking pair, sharing the same serious, powerful, and beautiful countenance.

"You undoubtedly have," Bregedúr answered. "That is Thingol, the King of Doriath, and his wife, Queen Melian the Maia."

"What does a Maia do?"

Bregedúr frowned. "... Do? Well, a Maia is not a title or a profession. It is the name of a race."

"Oh, I see," I said, the penny dropping at last. "Are they any relation to the Elves? I would never have known she wasn't an Elf by looking at her."

"They are not," Elrond said, shaking his head. "The Maiar are spirits, assistants to the Valar- incorporeal, but can assume any form. Melian gave herself an Elven body when she came to Arda," Elrond explained.

"Oh right! So she's a shapeshifter like me?"

There was a pause as my friends looked at each other, and then at me.

"What do you mean by that?" asked Glorfindel, cocking his head slightly. "Are you able to transform your body?"

"Sure," I said, tucking my hair behind my ears and turning my head to face the side a little. "Watch my ears."

I concentrated on Elven ears for a moment, and then heard a collective gasp from my companions. I touched the tips of my ears, and sure enough, they had the characteristic pointed tips.

"You're a Maia?" Glorfindel whispered in amazement at me.

"Are they the only ones who can change their form?"

"Aside from the Valar, and Beornings, yes," said Gil-Galad, his eyes still a little wide.

"I see," I mused. "Well, there we go. I'm a Maia. Is there anything I need to know about being one of those?"

The four of them looked at me like I'd just asked them to split an atom on the dining table. I sighed. When an open-ended request for information overwhelms someone, simplifying it by asking for, say, a couple of facts, will usually calm them down and you'll at least get something out of them.

"Tell me two things someone who has just become a Maia who knows nothing about them should know." I held up two fingers. Still, nobody spoke; they remained rather too flabbergasted to even process that.

I pointed at Glorfindel. "You first. One useful fact about the Maiar."

"Well, they're immortal," he offered. "You weren't immortal before, were you? That must be good to know."

"Im- what did you say?" I exclaimed.

"Oh, yes, certainly," said Elrond. "You can die of an accident or be slain, but you will be reborn in Valinor, much like the Elves."

"Motherfucker," I uttered in disbelief, too shocked to feel even a hint of remorse for using foul language on an occasion where we were eating with the good china.

"Fact two," Bregedúr continued, having pulled it together enough to speak again, "the Maiar can do magic; they were sent to help the Valar build the world, but it seems you have come a little late for that, so I am not sure what you can do."

"Oh, eternal life and what I can do now will more than suffice," I croaked weakly.

Now I was the one who could scarcely assemble a thought. I felt like I had just been declared an alien. It was one thing to be a human around Elves, but quite another, it seemed, to be what I actually was. Would they see me differently now? Was this new status going to change life as I knew it now? The thought of unpacking and processing all of this information was so daunting that I worried I might be the first Maia to die of shock.

I was jerked out of this swampy disbelief by a coo of excitement. I looked up.
"How wonderful!" enthused Glorfindel, his face glowing with excitement. "We will all be together forever!"

I perked up now. That was a very good point. Funnily enough, that comment was all it took to evaporate whatever worries were frantically ricocheting around in my brain. A wave of calm came over me, and I wondered what all the fuss had been about.

"Mmm," I replied happily, grinning contentedly at them. "I think forever with you bunch might almost be long enough."