[Serana's POV]
…Why is this bed so comfortable?
…Wait- too comfortable.
I steadily got up, my eyes half-open, as I cupped my head with my hand. I wasn't exactly feeling unwell but for some reason my head kind of hurts. Maybe I'm still feeling groggy from my sleep.
I tried to recount what happened last night, but I was distracted.
There's something off with the place's smell.
I sniffed again.
This isn't the house back in Pinewatch.
Removing my hand, I looked around. I'm in a place I'm not familiar with. Although, it has a relatively better than the setting at Pinewatch.
Suddenly, the door opened as Remus entered the room.
Once he saw me sitting up on the bed, he gave me a warm smile.
"Oh, good. You're awake." He said as he walked towards where I'm at. He pulled up a chair near the bed and sat down. "Are you feeling better?"
"Yeah… I think…" I reluctantly replied. My eyes darted across the room once again. "Where are we?"
"At Lakeview Manor, here at Falkreath Hold." Remus replied. He stared at me for a few seconds. "Are you feeling fine now?"
"Yeah, a little bit." I answered. "I was having a headache earlier… but it's subsiding."
There was a short silence before Remus spoke up. He was a little fidgety.
"So… what happened?"
Since my headache was lesser by the minute, I started trying to remember again.
"Well… I was out hunting, right?" I explained, "Once I was done, I went back to Pinewatch. But- "
I tried to remember what happened next, "– before I was able to reach the door, I… I felt hungry… thirsty rather, which was strange because I just had my fill…"
I paused. "Last thing I remember was… passing out next to the door…"
I looked back at Remus. He was listening to me intently, like he was expecting me to say more. Then, he let out a big sigh, "Well, how are you feeling now? Still… thirsty?"
"Surprisingly, no." I answered, "I'm actually feeling fuller than I ever was since I woke up at that cave…"
Remus seemed a little surprised with my reply. Then his face softened up into a smile.
"That's good to hear." He reached out to pat my head. I couldn't help but smile as I felt the warmth of his hand.
"I was worried. I'm glad you're okay." he said before standing up. "I still think you should rest. There's food downstairs in case you need something to eat. There are books too if you want to read. I'll be outside."
"What are you going to do?"
Remus paused to think. "Well, you see… I've sent my housecarl away. So, there's only two of us here."
I swallowed thickly.
Just… the two of us?
"But of course, there are things that need doing around here. I have to do the chores."
"Then let me—"
He raised his hand. "No. You said you had a subsiding headache, right? It's better if you just stay inside the house and rest until your headache's gone. It's near noon so going outside won't help you."
He walked towards the exit with a hand waving goodbye. "See you, later."
I just watched him disappear behind the door because I knew he was right. I slumped down back on the bed.
I have so many questions. Just what happened last night after I passed out?
Did he carry me here?
Why are we even here? Sure, this place is nicer, but Pinewatch is serving its purpose.
What's the next plan?
All I could do is think of those questions repeatedly because I forgot to ask them.
Remus seemed a little… strange.
This is the first time I saw him this serious for a while. Well, we haven't seen each other for a week before Ancestor Glade but still, it feels weird without the lame jokes and seeing that 'goofy' smile of his.
Staying inside the room was a little depressing so I decided to go down and check out the books Remus told me about. I looked around.
Like Heljarchen Hall, this manor was huge. So many hunting trophies decorated the walls. I even spied on a trophy room at the far end part of the house.
For a good few hours, I became absorbed to the one book I chose. Once I finished reading it, I returned it back to the shelf.
Remus was still nowhere inside the manor.
How long was I reading?
I strapped on my sword before going outside to check what's up.
It was already late in the afternoon. The sky had a red orange hue as the sun was preparing to set in the horizon.
The Manor was built on elevated ground in the middle of the forest. A nearby lake can also be clearly seen.
The scenery was… nice. I wonder what's going through his mind, deciding to build a manor out here.
I walked up to the stable to check on the horses. Somehow, Remus managed to get Shadowmere and my horse back with us. I remember having to leave them at the foot of the Ancestor Glade's mountain because I was too distressed.
After checking on the horses, I went to the back. I was surprised to see he owned a bee farm. Huh.
There were also farm animals beside the house earlier. So, when he meant "chores" he meant taking care of farm animals?
I smiled to myself. I stood at the edge of the manor's land. The sun's about to set and the colors left in the sky are just mesmerizing.
That's when I felt something familiar. I looked down the cliff.
There I saw Remus sitting atop small boulder, not moving an inch.
What is he doing? Meditation?
I slowly leapt down the crevices before landed on my feet as soft as possible so I wouldn't disturb him. I was sure there's still a slight sound even if I tried, but still, he remained in his zone.
Steadily, I approached him. His eyes remained shut while he sat upright.
Looking at him felt… a little strange. I wonder… what is he trying to do?
Unwittingly, my face moved closer to his.
At that moment, his eyes flashed open. I just stood there awkwardly as we're now staring at each other face to face.
He looked unfazed by the fact that my face is so close to his. His dark blue eyes remained solemn as they gazed back at mine.
Then they glistened as he smiled. "Feeling better?"
I felt my heart skip a beat. "Y-yeah." I answered as I instinctively stepped away from him.
He stood up and patted the dirt off his pants.
"What were you doing?" I asked.
"Meditation." he replied.
"First time I saw you doing it." I responded.
He smiled, "Well, I sort of forgot to continue doing it. I'm starting to make it more of a habit recently. I used to do it at least twice a week though."
"I see…" I trailed off.
There was silence. Now what?
I felt obliged to talk so I asked another question, "Why were you meditating?"
"Plenty of reasons." Remus had a finger pressed on his chin as if thinking, "I'm not exactly a talented mage but when I was in the college, I was quick to pick things up. I could do complicated spells, but I really can't sustain them."
He playfully summoned a bound dagger. "I meditate because I want to expand my magicka capacity. I shouldn't just rely on my fighting skills. In terms of magic, I shouldn't just rely on you." He allowed the bound dagger he's holding to dissipate in thin air.
His last statement struck a vein. Doesn't he like relying on me?
"Well, there was another reason… though I'm not sure if I'll be able to attain it." he sighed before he continued, "My master-"
I felt my ears perking up to listen. After all, this is a subject he rarely touches. I actually think he's trying to avoid talking about his teacher.
"- his conjuration was so advanced that he could summon things created from Nirn to and fro a plane of Oblivion."
Wait… I remember my mother saying something about this…!
If I remember correctly, to do this you must be a master of conjuration, have immense magicka reserves, and last and most important, an unrestricted access to a plane of oblivion.
While the other requirements are difficult to attain, achieving the last one… is even more complicated. The ways I know of is having the ability to manipulate daedric energy, which is technically impossible for any being in Nirn.
The other one would be gaining the favor of a higher daedric being.
Either way, whoever his teacher was, he must be a being of high status. A daedra who walks Nirn? A daedric follower? I have no idea.
Remus carried on, "I didn't really like meditating in the first place, but when I asked him about it he said something about 'tapping the inner self'. I don't really understand what that means, but I at least want to try and achieve his level."
It kind of made me sad how Remus remains hopeful, but his chances of actually doing it are small to none. But I suddenly remembered how he, a mortal being, slayed a literal god in the form of Alduin.
He just might make it happen…
"Why do you want to learn it anyway?"
Remus smirked, "Other than learning something new…" he lifted a finger up to make a point. "Convenience of course."
"Huh?"
"Well, it's a literal drag having to carry your things and weapons around."
Ah, there it is. The goofy and annoying grin I've been meaning to see. I couldn't help but chuckle.
"—Besides, we're about to retrieve Auriel's Bow, we can't afford to lose it as we travel."
Suddenly I experienced a pang of guilt. We lost the Elder scrolls because of my negligence.
"R-Remus… I'm—"
"Ah, you're about to apologize about the scrolls, aren't you?" he interrupted. "Don't worry about it. It's actually my fault that we lost them. I was the one who left them in the open."
But I was the one who wasn't injured during that time…
"I'm sorry…"
Remus looked at me for a brief moment before a soft smile escaped from his lips. He looked up the sky before turning towards me.
"It's sundown. Say, if you're feeling better… do you want to spar?"
"Uh, sorry?"
"A spar. A practice fight. Training."
"I know what spars are." I shot back sarcastically.
I felt my lips curling into a devious smile. This is a good chance to show him how much I've improved.
"I've actually never felt better." I responded.
It's true. Somehow, I felt like my senses are clearer and more reliable than before. I also feel like the distraction from being thirsty for blood won't be bothering me for days either. I have no idea what happened, but things are going in my favor.
"The rules?" I questioned.
"Same old. You can use spells now, though."
The last time Remus and I sparred, I lost horribly. I want to win… at least once.
"All right." I drew my sword. "What are you going to use, though?"
Remus summoned a bound sword into his hands. It looked similar to the one he used at the Soul Cairn. "Guess, I'd have to use this. I forgot my swords at the manor."
The two of us finally stood on opposite sides.
"Let's go." I exhaled. With a burst of speed, I lunged towards him. I saw him smirk a little. This was exactly how the last fight started.
But it'll be different this time.
I quickly flung an ice spike spell at him. He quickly casted a ward with his other hand. As he did, I sharply turned towards his blind spot and swung my sword.
Still, he managed to parry my attack with his main hand even if his off hand was still casting a ward.
Even a coordinated attack couldn't work. I quickly stepped back and prepared adept spells.
I can't hope to win against him in terms of close combat. I need to deprive him of magicka.
Spell after spell, I flung everything I could. Remus kept his wards up.
Then, I prepared a powerful lightning spell with my left hand and blasted it to Remus' direction. He had no choice but to dissipate his bound sword and use his main hand to cast another ward to block a spell of that intensity.
While unarmed, I managed to get into his vulnerable spot once more before swinging my sword. In a split-second, I saw him smirk again before flipping his body up the air to dodge.
While mid-air, he started conjuring another bound sword and slashed it towards me on a downward trajectory.
I was quick to parry, but now that I have… I couldn't get away. Every time I tried to step back, he kept engaging.
I'm at a disadvantage... I could feel myself being overwhelmed each time his sword hits mine. I need to do something.
Once I was able to deflect one of his attacks, I quickly conjured a bound dagger and thrusted it towards him. But he was too quick… he managed to disarm my attack with his knee before conjuring another sword on his offhand and holding it against my throat.
It's impossible. He could easily read me like a book.
"You… you've really improved." he commented before dispelling both of his swords. I also sheathed mine and shrugged at him in response.
Still can't beat him. I stepped back and shook my head.
"Wait, you're not going to fight anymore?"
"I've come to terms with it." I laughed. "I can't win."
"Even your temper… huh." Remus sat back down on the boulder. "I was fighting you seriously, though."
Puzzled, I stared at him. He was… fighting me for real?
No. Impossible. At most, he's just being polite.
He stretched out his arms, "Anyway, your magic clearly surpasses mine. So, I can only help you work on your swordsmanship."
Remus proceeded to tell me things he observed while we were fighting. I probably have more acute senses than him because I'm a vampire, but his keen battle sense is extraordinary.
As he explained things to me, I was amazed by how he managed to track even the slightest movement in that fight.
Maybe that time when I saved his leg back on our way to Windhelm was a farce.
It's no surprise though. After all, he is the Dragonborn.
Remus wasn't even done but I couldn't help but ask.
"Why did you fight me anyway? We already knew that in the end… you'd always win."
I wasn't bitter. It was a serious question. I just couldn't see the point of us fighting.
Remus seemed surprised by my question as he stared at me for a moment. Then he smiled gently.
"Because I wanted to protect you." He looked up at the already darkish-blue sky. "Before, I wanted to protect you so badly… that I even told you that I'm willing to put my life on the line."
There was a pause.
"But… I was wrong. If I truly wanted to protect you, I have to rely on you more… if you get what I'm saying." he slightly chuckled. "Maybe you weren't meant to be protected anyway since you're so damn strong. Still, I want to do it anyway. And this is the only way I know how to do it properly… without disregarding you."
He looked at me sincerely. "You're important to me, Serana."
I felt my chest tightening up. This is bad.
I… I'd never really get tired of hearing those words from him.
My heart… why won't you be at ease?
Remus looked back at the sky before lying down the boulder.
"The story I told you the other night…" he hesitantly started.
The other night… does he mean that time when he told me about… that?
"—The moment I saw so much blood in my hands, after all those years trying to escape my past as an assassin, I just knew… that I'm just a murderer. That I had to disappear."
He exhaled. "So, I traveled from Skyrim, and somehow, I landed at Solstheim. While I was on my way, I even started thinking of taking my own life because of the pain… and guilt. But, I was scared to die."
There was silence for quite a moment. I really couldn't find anything to say to him. I just sat down the ground. All I could do for him is… listen. But, still, why is he telling me this now?
"At Solstheim, despite thinking that I'm not fit to do anything good anymore, I still felt the weight of responsibility on my shoulders. So, I continued to live. I went back to Skyrim."
He continued, "While I travelled, I helped in any way I can but… I just lived from one day to the next. I wasn't really expecting something in life. But recently, I think I found something to look forward to."
Something to look forward to?
"What do you mean?" I asked.
Remus got up before giving me a bright smile. "The day we win." He looked straight at me before he continued, "Once all of this is dealt with once and for all… you could have a normal life."
I initially smiled at his response, but somehow this time, I kind of felt different.
I was starting to feel… scared.
I don't even know what kind of requirements we have to fulfill to end this prophecy thing.
But, there's a high chance that this will all end… with my father's death.
I swallowed thickly. Do I even have the strength to do that?
To kill my own father…
That's not even the worst thing that scares me. All this time, he'd been talking about how he wants me to have a normal life after all of this. But…
"Just what… is normal…?" I said under my breath.
"What?"
"No… nothing."
Remus scratched his head and looked up the night sky. In turn, I stared at him.
It's funny how just looking at him made me feel at ease. It's like… being in the safest place I could possibly be.
But after that I realized what I've been really scared of.
After all this is over, we won't have any more reason to stay together. After all, what could a mortal like him possibly have anything to do with an immortal like me?
Just by the thought of it made me feel like my heart's being torn apart… little by little.
I clutched my chest and hung my head.
Remus must've noticed as he immediately asked, "What's wrong? Are you okay?" He stared at me with eyes filled with worry.
I gave him the most reassuring smile I could muster. "Yeah, I'm fine. Might be a little exhausted from earlier."
He responded with a grin, "You should rest for the night, too. We're making our way for Darkfall Cave starting tomorrow."
"A-Already?" I stuttered.
"Yeah. I thought about reporting to Isran first but, the Elder Scrolls were taken from us. We need to act… fast." He raised a brow. "Why? Are you not feeling well?"
"N-No… I'm fine…" I hesitantly replied. He's right. Just why am I being so difficult about this? I shook my head, "Let's go… tomorrow."
"Alright." Remus hopped off the boulder and started walking off. "Good job today. I'm going on ahead, I'll cook us dinner. You better get in soon, too."
I watched as he slowly disappeared in the distance.
I bit my lip. Why… why are things suddenly moving so fast?
Maybe this is fate giving me a reality check. Maybe fate wants me to accept it… that one way or another, things will come to an end for the both of us.
That even thinking about walking beside him after all of this… is just a scum's wish.
