As Jason's feet touched the ground he looked all around him, counting his brothers as they landed all around...only, his best friend, his number two, Ray was missing in action. "Havoc, this is 1. We've lost Ray." He said into comms with the base before switching over and calling to Ray in their radio, "Bravo 2, this is 1...Bravo 2, this is 1...Bravo 2, this is 1...Bravo 2..." Jason said as if it had become his new mantra.

"Jace, any word on Ray?" Sonny asked him frantically, "Hey, Jace, did his reserve open?"

As Trent unhooked from his chute he said, "I saw him under reserve canopy. But he was real low when it opened."

"I tell you right there, we should have never done this mission...Our minds weren't in it." Sonny shook his head.

"Listen to me, Sonny. Pull it together, got it? Ray worked the problem, he's gonna be fine." Jason told him as he tried to keep his mask on, he hadn't even seen the reserve open.

"Okay, but we don't know that." Sonny said, practically begging Jason to lie to him.

"Havoc, this is 1. I pass flea-flicker. Were you able to establish comms with Bravo 2?" Jason said as everyone had separated from their chutes and ready to continue their mission.

"Yeah, copy that, 1, passing flea-flicker. Bravo 2 deployed his reserve and was tracking to put down about ten klicks from the LZ. Still trying to raise him on comms." Eric told Jason.

"Ten klicks, that puts him on the east side of the mountain. Area's crawling with enemy." Jason responded.

"Yeah, smack-dab in the middle of terrorist Walley World. No QRF, no ISR for overwatch. I'm telling you right now, Ray's in a lot of trouble." Sonny said.

"Havoc, this is 1. I'm gonna retrieve Bravo 2 and then head to target." Jason tried.

"Negative, 1. Bravo 2 is aware of his contingency procedures, and he's likely moving to the tertiary exfil point. You are to continue your mission." Eric told Jason.

"That's a big assumption; we don't know his status." Jason said, kicking himself for not fixing things with Ray before their jump.

"Bravo 2 is trained for this type of situation. Be advised that your mission is time-sensitive. Your orders are to Charlie Mike."

"Copy that. We're out." Jason mumbled.

"Are you kidding me, Jace? We're gonna leave Ray out in the cold?" Sonny asked, ready to fight.

Trent was right there with Sonny, "We're the only American boots on the ground that can go get him."

"Come on, boss, we can't leave him behind." Brock begged.

"Stop. Enough. All right? Enough. Get your heads in the game. We got an op to do. Ray is gonna meet us at the exfil point. He is gonna be fine. Hide the gear and let's go. Let's go." Jason snapped before walking away from the guys into a clearing. "Bravo 2, this is 1. Bravo 2, key your mic. Come on, Ray..." He knew that if they didn't go after Ray now then he would never see him again. He knew his job but he knew...he knew that if they didn't go to Ray then they would never see Ray alive again.


"Hey, J." Sonny said as he walked up to Jason.

"Save your oxygen, Sonny." Jason said, no fight left in him.

"Look, Ray's alone in the wilderness." Sonny started.

Jason shook his head, "You're a sheepdog."

"Sheepdog's gotta keep this flock together." Sonny reminded him.

"Yeah, right." Jason shook his head again.

"Sheepdog's also gotta drive the herd so they don't lose their way...You know, when I was in that torpedo tube, the only thing that kept me going was knowing that my brothers were a few feet away from me, all right? This world is a hell of a lot easier to navigate when you got someone to lean on." Sonny said, trying hard not to completely lose his mind.

"Ray's gonna be just fine." Jason said, praying it was true.

"This fight's making you see red. The last time Ray was on his own, it wasn't a mountain keeping him from the team. It was you. He was the first damn person to show up when Alana died." Sonny reminded him, thinking it was because Jason was still upset and that was why they weren't going after him yet.

"Hey, listen to me. I'm very aware what Ray has done for me. You don't think I have any interest in finding him? You don't think I want to make things right? It's Bravo 2, he's my best friend. But right now, we have a job to do. Get your head out of your ass. Emotions get people killed." Jason snapped at Sonny before walking away and trying Ray again, "Bravo 2, come in. Come on, Ray. Where are you?"

"Bravo 1, this is Havoc." Jason heard Mandy's voice in his ear, "Picking up SIGINT that militants located a parachute and two killed fighters. They know they have a visitor."

"Havoc, this is 1. If Bravo 2 is discovered, our HVT's gonna disappear. Recovering 2 is critical for mission success. Request permission to break off to go get Bravo 2." Jason tried again, knowing this may be his only chance of rescuing his best friend.

"Bravo 2 has kicked up a hornet's nest. It sounds like the enemy is already swarming. You head over that mountain, there's no cavalry coming to your rescue. Do you understand what you're requesting?" Eric asked, knowing he already had his answer.

"Copy that. We're aware of the risks. Bravo 2 needs us." Jason said, not even bothering to ask the rest of Bravo what they wanted to do.

"All right. Let's retrieve Bravo 2." Eric told him.

"Copy that. Bravo out." Jason said as he walked back towards the team, "All right, change of plans. We're going to get Ray."

"Tertiary exfil point's on the other side of that mountain summit. Enemy's fortified in there like Tora Bora." Trent said.

"Could avoid contact by going around the mountain instead of over." Brock tried.

"Ray doesn't have time. Speed is safety on this one." Jason said, "Trent, lead us east."

"You got it." Trent said moving forward, the rest of Bravo falling in line behind him.


As Clay cleaned up his apartment he heard a knock on the door, he knew it was Stella...she had sent him a text asking if he was home and after ignoring it for a few minutes he finally sent her a message back...but not before he asked Emma is he was crazy for wanting to see her. Knowing that Emma would be there after she got off work made him less worried about what he might do when he did have her alone.

"Hi." He said as he swung open the door of the apartment they had shared.

"Hey." She smiled.

"Come on in." He said as he moved so she could walk past.

"You look good. I mean, all things considered." She said nervously.

"How did you hear?" Clay asked her. He knew Emma hadn't talked to her and knew most of Bravo hated her.

"Uh..." She smiled nervously, "Naima. And-and I just I just had to come and see for myself." She told him. When Clay scoffed she quickly shook her head, "You, not your leg."

"Wasn't really a big deal." Clay lied.

"You don't have to do that for me. I can handle what happened, a bomb nearly killed you."

"Yeah, but it didn't."

"Thank God. I, um I came to the hospital. Like, six weeks ago." Stella told him.

He knew he had been drugged a good portion of his time in the hospital but he would have remembered if she had come...and Emma would have said something. "I'm sorry. I must have been I must have been really drugged up, I don't remember that."

"Mm. I never actually made it out of the lobby." She confessed and he nodded, not surprised.

"Well, bombing validated all your concerns of why we couldn't be together." Clay mumbled a response.

"M-My heart told me that I needed to come and nurse you back to health, but then I realized that, uh, that wasn't my place anymore and that you were probably in enough pain without me." She thought about nursing me back to health? Did she get over her fear of him dying? Why was she even here...the inner monologue in Clay's head was intense.

"Honestly, I wasn't a lot of fun to be around then anyways."

"Yeah, but were you ever fun?" Stella smiled, teasing him before looking around and seeing Brett's bags around the apartment. "So, what, are you you're moving?"

"No, I had a...I had a friend that was staying with me."

"Oh, and, uh, did your friend leave?"

"It's a long story." Clay said quickly, not sure if he was ready to have that conversation with her quite yet.

"I didn't drive all this way to just hang out for five minutes." She told him, seeing the clouded look in his eyes as he told her.

"I uh...Brett killed himself." Clay blurted out.

"Wait...what?" Stella asked, trying to keep her jaw from dropping.

"Suicide...at the VA...it was in the news." Clay mumbled as he moved over, sitting down on the couch.

"I...start from the beginning...who is Brett?" Stella asked.

"You actually want to know?" Clay asked, surprised.

"God Clay...yes I want to know...we may not be together but I still care about you."

"Why?" Clay asked her, letting his eyes meet hers for the first time.

"Why do I care about you or why do I want to know about Brett?" Stella asked as she cocked her head to the side.

"I just..." Clay mumbled.

Reaching her hand across and putting it on Clay's she gave a sad smile, "I care about you. That never changed."


"Bravo 1, this is Havoc. Be advised, Indian assets report enemy massing between Bravo 2's last known location and the tertiary exfil point." Jason heard Mandy tell him over comms.

"Copy that. They know who they're after?"

"Negative. There's no chatter about American military."

"Copy that. Bravo out." Jason told her before walking over to his guys. "All right, set security, hydrate. They're moving, too."

"Whole other side of the mountain's after Ray, chasing him down. He's not making it to exfil."

"Uh, he's just evading now, pushing deeper into the valley."

"Yeah, the enemy's dictating his choices."

"I'm telling you what, if I'm Ray, I'm using this river as a guide to get to the border."

"Our hike has officially turned into an odyssey."

"Sure has."

"I want you to hydrate, okay? We're moving in two."

"Yeah." Jason heard as his team answered as he walked away from the guys to try for Ray again.

"Hey, J." Sonny said walking up to him slowly.

"Yeah?"

"I didn't mean to cross the line earlier." Sonny told him.

Shaking his head Jason sighed, "Sure you did. You were worried about Ray. We all are...I crossed the line with Ray, as a team leader and as a friend."

"You both were in the wrong." Sonny tried to tell him.

"Well, Mexico messed him up."

"Mm-hmm."

"I saw it. He'd been struggling for a while. I should've picked him up, I knocked him down. That was wrong of me. I kept waiting for him to sort it out on his own. Maybe you're right. Maybe we can't do all this on our own." Jason said feeling his mask falling away.

"Hey, Jace. We are gonna go find Ray right now. You understand?" Sonny asked.

"Right." Jason said, looking up at his brother.

"Okay." Sonny smiled, "Got you Brother. We are going to get him."

"Son I can't lose him." Jason said, his voice threatening to break.

"We aren't going to." Sonny told him.

"Yeah...okay." Jason said as he wiped his eyes before standing up and squeezing Sonny's shoulder before walking past him. "All right, let's go. We got to move. Come on."

As Sonny watched the man he had once considered unbreakable struggle to hold himself together he once again came to the conclusion that they were family and family stuck together no matter what. He wasn't going to let anything happen to Ray because he knew that if Ray wasn't okay then Jason wouldn't be either...and he already didn't know if Clay would make it back and he just couldn't lose two more of his brothers.


"Last time I was this dehydrated, it was that training mission in Mississippi." Sonny complained three hours later after hiking several miles up and down to cut through the mountain range towards Ray when he noticed the morale of his family was two wrong steps from the toilet.

"Yeah. You downed so much mescal, Ray had to drag you home early every night."

"Yeah. Yeah, I never got to thank him for that." Sonny said.

"Never thanked him for a lot of things." Jason said before they started to hear gunfire as bullets began flying in their direction.


"I don't understand how Brett doesn't deserve a Purple Heart. I mean, he was injured in combat." Stella said, shocked at the injustice that Clay had just told her.

"Yeah. Military doesn't see it that way. They even, uh they even threatened my career if I keep pushing Brett's story." Clay shrugged, getting more comfortable the more he talked with her.

"Unbelievable. You guys sacrifice so much only to be abandoned when you're no longer of use." When Clay looked down at his leg she backpedaled, "I didn't mean you."

"It's all right. I feel pretty useless these days...Especially for Swanny." This time her comment didn't rub him the wrong way, this time he knew that she was still his friend...that she still cared.

"He was very lucky to have you in his life. Believe me."

"You know, maybe it's...maybe it's better that warriors like us die heroes on the battlefield, rather than come home and wilt away as forgotten statistics."

"Is that how you feel?" Stella asked, surprised at his lack of confidence.

"Brett felt that way..." Clay said before looking at her. "Sorry. I know this isn't your favorite topic." He quickly apologized, looking down at his hands.

"I can handle it. Please."

"I thought we broke up because you couldn't."

"That's fair. Part of me still thinks that I'd be a lot happier if I'd just kept my shut my mouth and let you get on that plane to Mexico."

"Well, you know what? It's-it's better it happened there on the tarmac than ten years down the road, right?" Clay asked her, scared of her answer.

"Yeah, maybe. I just wonder if I performed emergency surgery on a wound that didn't actually exist." She shrugged. "Uh, I'm assuming that you reached out to Ash to help push, uh, Brett's story?" She said quickly bringing the story back.

"No. Uh, look, my dad's let me down my whole life. Swanny deserves better than that."

"Your dad has a platform on cable news. And as a former SEAL, he can help keep you out of Harrington's crosshairs, I mean, let you get back to the, to the pipe kicking."

"It's door kicking, or pipe hitting." Clay smiled at her.

"Whatever. My alpha-male jargon's a bit rusty. Sorry." She rolled her eyes with a smile.

"You really want me back operating, huh? This your way of telling me you're seeing somebody?"

"Is this your way of asking?" She smirked and when he shrugged she went on, "Stop deflecting on Ash. I'm not sure he'd be willing to help." Clay just shrugged and Stella pushed, "There's only one way to find out."

"Emma is on her way here. Do you uh...you want to get dinner with us?"

"I should go...she..."

"Do you want to get dinner with us?" Clay cut her off with a smile.

"I...sure." Stella smiled, "You sure she won't mind?"

"She told me to tell you I was home." Clay admitted.

"Did she now?" Stella smiled.

"She is my best friend...I know it doesn't make sense but we have been through a lot together and she just..."

"She gets you." Stella smiled. "I've noticed."


"Havoc, this is 1. Any word on 2?" Jason asked, feeling the weight of his entire team on his shoulders.

"Yeah, negative, 1. But our host country is spinning up its ISR." Eric told him and Jason could hear in his voice that this was just as hard for him as it was for the rest of Bravo.

"Copy that. Bravo 1 out." Jason said, walking back over to the guys, "Finally get some eyes over Ray. First good news since we jumped in."

"I'm telling you, man. I knew this op had bad juju once old fat-head Shaw got on that plane." Sonny grumbled.

"Tell you what, man."

"The cake-eaters are like..." Trent said as he froze in his tracks.

"What?" Jason asked.

"Felt something depress under my right foot. Pretty sure it's a land mine." Trent said feeling his stomach drop.

Looking around quickly Jason tried not to panic. "Nobody move. We're in a minefield."

"No bueno, boys. Land mines are like the sharks of the dirt." Sonny said as he walked closer to it.

"Don't have time for this." Brock said shaking his head.

"I'll figure it out. You guys keep going." Trent told Jason.

"Not gonna happen, Trent." Jason said, he wasn't about to trade one brother for another. They had to find a way to get everyone home and in one piece.

"Go. I'll make it safe myself." Trent said.

"The hell you will, Trent. I've seen you open a beer bottle before. Now, letting you do surgery on a bomb, that's probably gonna turn us into wolf food." Sonny smirked.

"Don't make me laugh, Sonny. I'm literally on a mine."

"Small pressure plate."

"Okay?"

"You step off, and you go boom."

"Guess I won't be stepping off, then."

"Think I have an idea. Give me your hook knife." Jason said.

"Brock, punch that in. Right there. Easy." Jason instructed. "Give me your knife. Tie it off up there." Jason told Sonny.

"Engine." Brock said looking over the ledge.

"Get down and eat dirt." Jason told his team.

"Yep. That ain't no pizza delivery truck." Sonny said seeing the man power and guns that were on the truck.

"Standing out here like a hooker in church, boss." Trent said, fear evident in his voice.

"Come on."

"You want me open up on this technical?"

"No. Any of those bullets hit this minefield, we're gonna be chum. Stay down."

"They're coming in view in ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, - two, one..." Sonny said as Jason and Brock worked on the mine.

"Ready?" Jason asked.

"Yeah." Trent said.

"Go." Jason said and they all jumped away at the same time.

"They're stopping." Sonny said quietly.

"I tell you what, man. I think I won the bodily function bingo on that one." Trent said, finally feeling like he could breathe again.

"We lost a lot of time. We got to go back the way we came. Easy up and out. Come on. Nice and easy, boys. Nice and easy." Jason said, kicking himself for not noticing the minefield before he lead his team straight into it.


"Hey, Sonny. How much time did we lose going around that minefield?" Jason asked.

"Two hours, give or take."

"Awful long time for Ray to hold out."

"You all right, Jace?"

"Ah. Been riding you guys so hard. Led you right into a minefield."

"You got some superpowers, but X-ray vision ain't one of them. Not your fault."

"Havoc Base to Bravo 1." Jason heard in his ear, breaking him from his train of thought.

"Havoc, this is 1."

"Yeah, ISR just picked up Bravo 2's helmet strobe." Eric told him.

"Copy that. Send us the coordinates."

"A-firm, 1. Sending now. Bravo 1, be advised. ISR also shows enemy moving towards the area where Bravo 2's strobe was spotted."

"Copy that. We'll just have to get to him before they do. Bravo 1 out."

"Jace, unless we grow wings, we ain't getting to him in time." Sonny said, pointing out what everyone already knew.

"I have an idea." Jason smiled as he saw a pack of horses.


When Emma let herself into Clay's apartment she found Stella sitting on the couch and Clay nowhere in sight. "He's in the bathroom...said he needed to shower." Stella smiled nervously.

"He thinks he still needs help when his leg is tired." Emma told her as she heard the water shut off.

"Is he...?" Stella started to ask.

"He will be back on the team sooner than later. He doesn't actually need help...just makes him feel better to know that he has it if he needs it."

"So you help him?"

"I uh...yeah...when he was in the hospital...we uh...well we don't really have boundaries anymore." Emma laughed.

"Thank you." Stella said, looking down at her hands, "I...I am not as strong as you."

"Clay is my family." Emma shrugged, "And you loved him enough to let him go when you knew you couldn't live this life."

"Yeah." Stella said, looking up at Emma with tears in her eyes.

"He still cares about you." Emma said, "You need to decide if you want this forever or not...almost losing Sonny...getting blown up...losing his best friend and basically his entire unit he was assigned to before Bravo...and then losing Brett...Clay...he is strong but he is human."

"His best friend?" Stella asked.

"Andy and his old unit...I went with him to Cal for the memorial..."

"Oh my God...I knew the name sounded familiar." Stella said barely above a whisper.

"I am going to..." Emma said nodding her head towards the bathroom.

"Uh yeah..." Stella said, trying to blink the tears from her eyes. She had missed so much...it was no wonder Clay seemed so different...it wasn't just getting blown up that she had missed.

"You good?" Emma asked as she let herself into the bathroom.

"Can you uh..." Clay said as he looked down at the side of the tub.

"You don't need me to step over that. There is a bar on the wall." Emma smirked as she reached out her hand to take his as he stepped out, wrapped only in a towel.

"You told her about Andy."

"You are different now than before Mexico. She needs to know it isn't just because of your lazy leg." Emma said as Clay leaned against the counter as he pulled on his boxers under the towel before letting the towel fall to the ground. "You want pants or shorts?" Emma asked him and he just shrugged so she walked out and came back in with his favorite jeans and a 49ers shirt. Emma watched him slide the jeans up in silence, not meeting her eyes. "It is okay for you not to be okay...you know that...right?" Emma asked him and he nodded with a small sniffle. "Seeing her or me telling her about Andy?" Emma asked him.

Seeing his eyes fill with tears when she said Andy's name she had her answer and she turned his shirt upside down and held it out for him to slip his arms through lifting it over his head, pulling it down and straightening it before wrapping her arms around him. "Love you." He whispered as he wrapped his arms around her, leaning his cheek against the top of her head. "I can't shake the feeling that something is wrong but I don't know why." Clay told her as he lifted his head.

Emma squeezed him tight before letting go. "Whatever happens we will get through together."

"You feel it too?" Clay asked.

"Let's go to dinner." Emma said, refusing to answer Clay.

"Yeah...okay." Clay said, as he tried to smile before walking out to the living room.

"If we are doing this then you have to be real with me." Stella said, seeing Clay's smile not reach his eyes.

"Yeah..." Clay said looking down. "I just...when Emm told you about Andy it...it makes it real all over again."

"Clay?" Stella said, "I told you I never stopped caring and I meant it...I just...I don't think I can be a team wife."

Clay felt Emma's hand grab his and he held tight, "Yeah...I know." He said with a sad smile, "I am glad you are here now though."


"Sonny!" Jason yelled as he came up on Ray's helmet...Ray nowhere in sight.

"Oh, no." Brock said looking down over a steep ledge.

"Ray could've fallen over the edge." Sonny said.

"Where is he?" Jason asked...no body meant he was still alive...he had to still be alive. If he was captured there would have been sign of a struggle.

"There has to be prints somewhere." Sonny mumbled, "Unless he was abducted by aliens."

"Seriously Sonny?"

"Well?" Sonny asked, "I don't see his prints anywhere."

"You need to stop watching the history channel." Brock laughed.

"What do aliens have to do with history?" Jason asked.

"Stupid show on the network Boss." Trent smiled. "Keep looking. He has to be here somewhere."


"Well, I'm glad you're feeling better. I still don't get why you wouldn't let me see you at the hospital." Ash told Clay later that night at the bar where Clay met him at the urging of both Emma and Stella at dinner.

"I shut myself off from the rest of the world after I got blown up. Didn't, uh, didn't think you'd understand." Clay shrugged.

"My son was hurt. What's to understand?"

"Still getting used to you acknowledging that you have a son." Clay mumbled, feeling very raw and still unable to shake the feeling that something was wrong.

"You know, I always feel like I'm bringing a knife to a gunfight when we're together. What'd you want to see me for, anyway?"

"Brett Swann."

"The team guy that offed himself?" Ash asked.

"He's a friend."

"What was the deal, then? PTSD?"

"He had a traumatic brain injury, and the VA wouldn't treat it 'cause it wasn't documented as a combat injury." Clay said trying not to bite Ash's head off the way he talked about Brett's struggle with mental health and his ultimate death by suicide.

"That's a shame."

"I'm trying to get Brett a Purple Heart. I'm hoping that the military will start acknowledging TBI cases for vets in the same boat as Brett."

With a small chuckle Ash smiled at his son, "Look at you. My son, the maverick, wanting to fight the system."

"It's a worthy fight."

"Military's not gonna want you generating that kind of publicity. That's why I'm here." Ash said, now understanding why his son called.

"I'm, uh You know, nobody knows publicity like you."

"Oh. You want to use my position at the network to push your message."

"It's not a message, it's a mission. Not a lot to ask after you used me for information to keep yourself in that position."

"It's an admirable cause, son, but it's not gonna happen."

"That defeatist attitude It's a good thing we weren't fighting any wars while you were operating." Clay said, now ready to fight.

"You know what, I get it, Clay. I was a crappy father, okay? But even an old frogman like me is only gonna tolerate so much abuse." Ash once again deciding to play the victim.

"Hundreds of thousands of vets suffer from TBI. You could be their voice, their champion. Maybe, maybe this is the war you've been looking for. I just thought maybe you'd want to do something to make your son proud." Clay snapped. "But I should have known better. You only do things that help boost you up...you don't care about anyone else."

"That isn't..." Ash started but Clay cut him off.

"No. I get it...Brett was important to me so you see him as a threat even though he is dead...I just...dammit...I could be Brett." Clay said rushing out the door before the first tear slipped from his eye.

Emma saw him practically running out and she unlocked the car, sliding over to the driver seat, knowing that something had set him off and driving most likely wasn't the best choice. "You tried." she told him as he quickly buckled his seat belt, "We will find another way."

"I don't know why I...?" Clay asked, wiping his face quickly.

"He is your Dad...you hoped he would act like it?" Emma smiled sadly.

"Fucking sucks...my real family is deployed and I am here useless and I can't even talk the one person who is supposed to be there to do anything..."

"Hey!" Emma smiled at him, "I'm sitting right next to you."

"Yeah...and you should be out having fun...not sitting here..." Clay mumbled.

"You can be a real child when you don't get your way." Emma pushed, trying to get Clay to push back. Hearing a grunt she looked over and saw Clay shake his head, leaning it against the cool glass of the window and she reached over and put her hand on his arm, "Family is who you make it and we will find a way."

On the short drive back to Clay's apartment he stared out the window, nodding off but quickly waking with any unexpected movement as his eyes followed the white line as she drove. When she put the car in park he didn't make any move to get out, Emma knew he was awake but lost in his own thoughts and she whispered, "I wish you could see you how I see you."

Earning no response she slowly got out of the Nova and walked up the stairs towards his apartment, hearing his movements a few feet behind she left his front door open after she walked through before sitting down on his couch and picking up the remote. Clay kicked off his shoes and made his way silently to the couch where he laid down and put his head on her lap, feeling instantly comforted by her arm gently resting on his shoulder. "My best friend shouldn't be a high schooler." Clay mumbled.

"Sonny is your best friend." Emma smirked, "And he is almost twice my age."

"What are you then?" Clay mumbled.

"Twin flame." Emma said without missing a beat, running her fingers through his messy hair.

"Twin flame?" Clay asked, rolling onto his back and looking up to her.

"Yup...google it if you want...I read about it in Cosmo and it fits." Emma shrugged.

"What does it mean?" Clay asked her, now intrigued.

"Basically it is someone who was split into two different bodies but shares one soul."

"I thought that was what a soulmate was?"

"No..a soulmate is two souls that are perfectly matched. Twin Flame is one soul two people. It is different."

"So what does it mean?"

"It means that we get each other in a way that cannot be explained, that we were brought together to teach each other powerful lessons, to grow or to heal...that you feel at home when you are with the person and that you feel like you have known them your entire life and..."

"There is more?"

"Considering I just said and before you cut me off, yes there is more." Emma said with a roll of her eyes, "Twin flames bring out the parts of you that you are scared to reach or mirror how you became who you are."

"What does that mean?"

"So like you were raised how you were raised...I was raised..."

"Yeah...so you show me what family is supposed to be."

"Something like that...but it is more, like when my mom died...you knew how to be there for me because you had already been there...and when you got hurt I knew how to push you so you could find yourself again...does that even make sense?"

"Twin flame?" Clay asked, cocking his eyebrow to the side and watching Emma smile sheepishly, "So does that mean we have to get matching tattoos?" Clay teased.

"You think it is dumb." Emma said, a statement and question at the same time.

"Are twin flames supposed to end up together?" Clay asked, surprising her.

After studying his face for a few seconds she smiled softly, "They can but they don't have to...a relationship with twin flames can be volatile and..."

"Like your parents?" Clay smiled, everyone always compared them to her parents but in this case it was true.

Thinking about it for a few seconds she shook her head, "Exactly like them."

"You can feel it too then? That something happened...that is why you turned on the news." Clay said looking over at the tv for the first time and seeing Anderson Cooper's face on the screen.

"Until we get a call then we assume everyone is fine...they are working the problem or whatever the hell it is my dad is always spouting out when Mikey and I can't figure something out."


"Metal, anything?" Jason asked the man who had made it farther down the hillside than he had.

"Looks like he came down that hill pretty hard."

"How about you?" Jason asked Sonny as the man climbed back up.

"One set of tracks down by the river." Sonny answered.

"All right, look..." Jason said as he took a deep breath trying to steady himself, "Heads on a swivel, boys. Enemy's on to him. We got to get to him before they do. Let's roll. Come on."

Sonny once again found himself next to Jason and just put his hand on the man's shoulder like he had seen Clay do too many times to count."We will find him."

"I know we will find him...I just don't know if he will be alive to see us find him." Jason said, "Let's go."


"It is getting late." Emma said with a yawn, "I should head home." Clay was half asleep with his head on her lap drawing circles on her arm where it lay across his chest.

"Can I be selfish?" Clay asked and Emma could see the anxiety written across his face.

"If you tell me what is actually making you freak out." Emma said, knowing that it was way more than just being worried about Bravo.

"How do you know...?" Clay started to ask as he sat up, leaning forward so his elbows were on his knees. "Twin flame?"

"I know because I know you. Now talk to me."

"I told Ash I could be Brett." Clay said as he felt his face flush and tears pool in his eyes.

"Okay." Emma said, momentarily frozen as she felt the fear rush through her. "Right now?" She asked him as she turned to face him.

"Yeah...I think so...I mean...I just..." Clay rambled and Emma could see the change in his breathing.

Reaching across and wrapping her hands around his arm she said quietly, "Talk me through it."

"After Stella...and now Stella is back...and then Andy...I just feel that all again." Clay said as he stared intently at his hands.

"Feel that all again?"

"Losing them." Clay said, looking up at Emma, "Brett, Adam and Brian...what happened with Sonny it just...it is heavy and...I want it to stop hurting."

"Do you want to talk or just want me here with you?"

"I don't...I feel stupid...I shouldn't feel like this?"

"Tell me what this feels like." Emma told him gently.

"I see them all...hear our last conversations...watching how they died...I just want it to stop and the only way I know how to make it stop is...to do what Brett did."

"So you don't want to die, you just want the pain to stop?" Emma asked.

"Mmmhmm." Clay said looking at her as a tear fell from his eye.

"Okay." Emma said, determined to help him. "Do you want to be here right now or somewhere else?"

"With you...I don't care." Clay said, instantly scared she wanted to leave.

"I am not leaving you...I am asking if you want us to be somewhere other than your couch."

"Maybe lay down?" Clay said questioningly and Emma quickly took his hands and led him into his bedroom where he sat down at the side of his bed and she crawled up and sat down behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and leaning her cheek into his back.

"Tell me your favorite thing about Andy." Emma urged, knowing that the loss of his best friend is what started his spiral into the darkness.

"He was my best friend." Clay said and Emma could feel his body start to shake as he cried.

"Have you talked about Andy since we got back from California?"

"To Caitlyn about the kids...growing up without him." Clay said, gripping her arms.

"You ever talk to Sonny about Andy?"

"Don't really talk to Sonny about that kinda thing." Clay shrugged.

"So who do you talk to?"

"No one...you? I uh...most of the time I try to ignore it...like he is just off the grid on a mission or something."

"Part of your rehab is mandatory counseling...you ever talk to them about Andy?"

"No. Only one that ever even got up was Adam...and I just said it sucked...you know?" Clay shrugged, "I mean...we didn't have a long history of serving together and I guess death is a normal part of being on the teams so they just...they didn't ask...I didn't bring it up."


"I see him! Ray! Jace he is down there!" Sonny yelled as he scrambled down the hillside to get closer to where Ray was on his knees.

"Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on!" Jason yelled, running, climbing, sliding his way down to where he could see his best friend. Seeing Ray drop to his knees as he quit climbing, surrendering to the inevitable Jason could hear his voice in his head, his best friend praying... "Ray, get down!" He yelled as the rest of Bravo took out the men that were climbing up to catch him and he saw Ray fall onto his back as he scrambled the rest of the way to his best friend. Pulling him into his chest he mumbled, "Ray. I got you." As his best friend choked out sobs, not quite believing he was still alive.

Feeling the arms of his best friend envelope around him he found it hard to breathe...he was safe. They had found him. He could hear Jason ask if he was okay, if he was hurt...all he could do was nod.

"All right. You hurt?" Jason asked again.

"I thought I was gonna die." Ray finally was able to tell him as Bravo continued to shoot until all of the enemy fire was quieted.

"Yeah, so did I."

Jason practically pulled Ray up the hill as he yelled into comms, "Havoc, this is 1. We have 2. We're low on ammunition and need immediate extract."

"Bravo 1, we have an exfil plan. The ridge directly to your south. You need to be on it, and fast." Jason heard Eric's voice tell them as they continued up the steep hillside to the ridgeline.

"Copy. We're heading up there now."

Not two minutes later the team saw an Indian Helo flying over and Jason knew...he knew that Mandy had called in a bigger favor than she ever should have but right then he didn't care. His best friend was still alive. His team was safe. He knew Mandy well, and knew that whatever the consequences she wouldn't care. He knew that she had done this for him, she knew that he would not have survived losing Ray.


"Sorry about last night." Clay said, rolling over to see Emma's face staring back at him sleepily.

"Never be sorry for being human." Emma said sitting up.

"Will you really always be here?" Clay asked her, watching as she got out of his bed to head for the bathroom.

"You are the operator Buddy." Emma smirked, "You will have to come visit me in New York."

"Don't know what I am going to do when you aren't here anymore."

"You will come to New York." Emma smiled before closing the bathroom door.

"New York...it is so far." Clay yelled after her.

"Not you too...Dad is freaking out enough for everyone." she yelled back.


Once Bravo Team was safely back on the ground Jason hooked his arm around Ray's shoulder and pulled him into him. "I'm sorry." He said and Ray wrapped his arms around his best friend and felt the tears falling from his eyes.

"I thought I was dead." Ray told him, once again finding it hard to breathe.

"Saw you praying Mr. Perry." Sonny said walking up to them and squeezing Ray's shoulder, "That mean the real Ray Perry is back?"

"Shut up Sonny." Jason snapped, but Sonny saw the smile in his eyes, he had seen the same thing.

"Would love to continue this little reunion Boys but Shaw has other plans for you." Eric said walking up to them.

"Is that shit head really going to split up Bravo for saving Ray?" Sonny asked Jason as soon as Eric was out of hearing range.

"Not if I have any say over it." Jason told the guys as he tried to remain positive for them...knowing that staying together would take a miracle and after the year they have had another miracle was not likely.