a.n. Another chapter is done! I'm not sure how realistic this chapter is. It might even be construed as a bit sexist. But I think it fits in well with Kate's growth in this story.
This story is almost done. Just a couple more chapters. I know how it ends now and I can see it clearly in my mind.
Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.
-:::-
February 29, 2011
For the first time since she was shot, Kate Beckett was walking on her own without crutches. She couldn't keep the satisfied, almost smug, grin off her face even if she tried, which she didn't. It had taken forever for her to get this far. Granted, it probably would have happened two weeks sooner if she hadn't torn her stitches three different times pushing herself too far too fast. But who cared about that now?
Kate wobbled back and forth for several minutes before she had to sit down. But she had done it. Finally, she had done it. But wow, was she in pain. Rick appeared in front of her and passed her a bottle of water.
"I'm so proud of you, sweetheart," he said.
Kate scrunched up her nose at the endearment but didn't say anything. He had been like that when they were teenagers too. Then she had thought it was sweet and ate it up; now it was a bit annoying. And sweet.
"I took four more steps, Rick, I didn't run the New York Marathon."
"Four steps more than yesterday," he replied with a proud grin.
"Don't patronize me, Ricky. When I can walk again, I'll kick your ass."
Rick just smiled wider and sat down beside her.
"You ready for the meeting after this?"
"No. It's going to suck."
Rick wrapped an arm around her and Kate leaned into him further, breathing in the scent that had been her favorite since she was twelve years old. Rick never changed that much. He was always strong and steady. It was one of the things that she loved about him.
"It'll be fine. From the things you've told me, Montgomery is invested in helping you succeed. I'm sure he'll be able to find you someplace where you can continue your career."
Kate stayed silent, but she wasn't so sure that Rick was right. Montgomery was invested in her - as long as she was a detective. She wasn't sure that Roy would be able to find her some other career within the NYPD. Especially since she was much too young to become a Sergeant or a Lieutenant. The only sure way to get a desk job was to join the Internal Affairs Division, which was something Kate didn't really want to do.
To be honest, Kate was dreading the meeting and had been ever since she had called Roy to arrange it. She had worked so hard to become a detective. It hurt to know that she wouldn't be able to go back to work and seek justice for those who had suffered the ultimate tragedy. But Kate knew that Rick was right. She couldn't risk dying on the job. She would not, could not, leave Alex without his mother. Maybe if she hadn't dared to reenter her boy's life, it wouldn't have mattered. She could have continued on.
But her life now was so much better. She had just floated through life for almost a decade. She'd had friendships and relationships, but they had been empty placeholders for the life she had always planned to lead.
She wouldn't go back. And if that meant that she had to quit being a cop, then she would do that. For Alex. For Rick.
Maybe even a bit for herself.
-:::-
"Beckett, it's good to see you up and around," Roy Montgomery said as he stood to greet her. Kate leaned heavily on her crutches, wishing desperately that she had allowed Rick to come with her, instead of asking him to stay in the car. But she had to do this on her own.
After taking a seat, she watched as her Captain situate himself behind his desk.
"I was surprised that you asked for a meeting, Detective. I hadn't planned on hearing from you for a couple of months yet."
"Yes, sir. I wasn't planning on it either, but I needed to talk to you about something."
"I gathered as much. Are you healing properly?"
"Yes, sir. I'm a bit behind because of some difficulties, but otherwise, the doctors say I'll recover completely."
"That's great news," Roy said with a happy smile.
"I...uh...actually wanted to talk to you about my future here at the precinct," Kate said, nervously.
"Oh?"
"Yes, sir. I...I can't be a detective anymore. I can't risk it. I can't leave Alex without a mom. I don't want him to be me. I...I guess I was wondering what other opportunities there might be for me in the NYPD."
Montgomery was silent for a minute, looking at her with a neutral expression. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft and understanding. "I understand. When my first child was born, I made the same decision. Granted, I had been on the force for a few more years than you have, so that made it easier. What exactly are you looking for, Kate?"
"I don't know," Kate answered.
"Did you know Hargrove is retiring?"
"The desk Sergeant?"
"Yes. He'll be gone in September. If you were to take the sergeant's exam, I could put you in to replace him. It's not an exciting job, but it's something. The only other option that I can think of is either the evidence lockup or IAD."
Kate grimaced. None of those options felt great for her. All a desk sergeant did was sit and watch people come in and out of the precinct. IAD was a no go - she wouldn't become a cop policing cops. It just wasn't something she was interested in. The evidence locker position was even less interesting than becoming a desk sergeant. She sighed. She had hoped that there were other options, though she had known that it was unlikely.
Kate leaned forward and pulled an envelope from the back pocket of her jeans. She handed it to her Captain.
"What's this?"
"My resignation," Kate said with finality.
"Kateā¦" Montgomery started. Then he shook his head and opened the envelope. "Are you sure?" he asked after he read through her short letter.
"I am. I have to be there for Alex. I...I almost died. Maybe if I hadn't brought myself back into his life - but I can't regret that. I can't." Kate looked away, ashamed at feeling so weak in front of someone she admired so much. She felt a pain in her stomach, thinking about how all she had worked for was at an end. But she pushed the feeling away. Kate knew she was doing the right thing. She knew there would be exit paperwork for her to complete, but this was the way her NYPD career ended.
"I understand, Kate. I really do. I'll get the paperwork started for you. In a couple weeks, I'll give you a call for your exit interview. You'll have a bunch of things to sign, but it's just a formality for your pension and such. You've been employed long enough to garner a partial pension when the time comes, and doing the paperwork now will make it easier when you're ready to collect it. On a personal note, I'll miss you. You are one of the best detectives I've ever seen, and I'm sure you'll excel at whatever you do next. If you need a letter of recommendation or a reference, please let me know."
Kate wiped away a tear and nodded. "I'll do that, sir."
"I think you can call me Roy," he said with a smile. He stood and walked around his desk. He helped her up and then hugged her. Kate stiffened but eventually hugged him back. When they pulled apart, Roy said, "You should come to dinner once you're back on your feet. Evelyn would love to see you again, and so would I."
"I'll do that," Kate said.
"Call me and we'll arrange it. You should bring Alex, too."
Kate nodded. "I'm going to say my goodbyes to Ryan and Esposito now."
Roy nodded as well. "Take care of yourself, Kate. And don't be a stranger."
-:::-
March 12, 2011
Kate was alone with her stepmother. It was not a comfortable position for her to be in. Honestly, she liked the woman. She'd like her more if she hadn't married Kate's father, but it was fine. It was finer when they could safely ignore each other, but that wasn't easy when they were the only ones in the house.
"Have you decided what you'll do next?" Beth asked. They were both sitting on the sofa. Why Elizabeth had decided to sit next to her, Kate had no idea.
"I'm thinking about going back to school, actually," Kate answered.
"Really? That's great. For law?"
Kate nodded. "Yeah. Then I could still help people and it wouldn't be dangerous."
"I don't think any of us have told you, but I'm really proud of you for doing what you're doing. Not a lot of people would give up their careers for their child."
Kate blushed. "Thanks. I...I can't fail him again."
"You've done really well with him, Kate. I know your father didn't take it well when you left Rick, but you were a teenager. I know first hand that tragedy can change you, and you were just a kid. Sure, you might have done wrong, but no one who is nineteen years old can handle what you handled in the right way. I know when I was nineteen I couldn't have handled it. I was a disrespectful, irresponsible little idiot until I was 25 years old, and my father would tell you that right now with me sitting here with no issue. I guess what I'm saying is that you shouldn't keep feeling guilty. All you can do is do your best, and I think you're doing that now. That's all that matters."
Kate wiped away a tear. "Thank you."
"Of course. I know we're not close. I don't know if we'll ever be. You're a grown woman; you don't really need a mother figure. And goodness knows, I will never even try to replace Johanna Beckett. I don't want to. From what your father has told me, she was a remarkable woman. I'm not her. But I'd like it if we could be friendly."
Kate stared at her for a moment. Then she nodded. "I'd like that too. Though if you hurt my dad, I'll kill you slowly and painfully."
Beth grinned and offered her hand for Kate to shake. "Good then. Now, where do you think you want to go to school?"
Kate and her stepmom talked about colleges and majors and all sorts of things for hours, slowly thawing towards one another. Kate knew that Beth was right. She didn't need a mother figure. But that didn't mean she didn't want one.
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a.n.2. And there we have another chapter! Woot! Reviews are awesome!
Next chapter, Alex, Kate, and Rick celebrate Easter together, we see a bit of Martha again, and Kate and Rick have a date.
