It was the final meeting before the Christmas holiday. Everyone was energized, revved up and ready to escape school and Umbridge for a few weeks.
Harry was acting shifty…he was real jerky with his movements and seemed lost in his own head. Jamie spent a majority of the session correcting his instruction or taking over completely as he seemed to fumble behind.
"What," he hissed at her, catching her watching him.
"Why are you so pale?" She was concerned about her brother; he was distancing himself again. Hermione had alluded that Harry was having 'nightmares' more frequently. Jamie suspected they weren't normal bad dreams and had some dark influences…influences she needed to be aware of.
"I'm always pale," he retorted, ducking around her to cross the other side of the room to watch Ron and Padma sparring.
Jamie rolled her eyes, turning, and as she did, she caught sight of some familiar eyes looking back at her. Jolting, she realized she had come almost face to face with a newspaper picture clipping of Cedric someone had pinned up on the wall of mirrors.
She gazed at his photo; it was from the early events of the tournament last year. Until now, she had always felt an immense amount of grief when he was mentioned or if she caught sight of his photo or something that reminded her of him. It was a dull ache now, hollow in her chest, burning lowly, hard to ignore but easy to survive with.
Had she finally moved on? The revelation was nearly staggering, and she felt her hand creep up, lying over heart only to feel it beating evenly.
"Alright everyone, excellent work," Harry was calling out. She noticed the timer had chimed, signaling the end. She turned from the photo, awkwardly catching Cho's eye next. She turned her head, moving toward her bag. "We're seeing some really great improvement. We'll pick back up after the holiday, be safe and enjoy the break!"
Jamie focused on gathering her bags and saying goodbye to her friends, eyes flickering to Harry, who was lingering as well. Cho had moved to stand in front of the mirror, staring up at Cedric, and Harry was slowly gravitating toward her.
She watched her brother subtly step around his friends, who were in a mixture of amusement and bewilderment as they filtered out. Jamie stood rooted to her spot near the door, watching.
Harry and Cho were talking quietly by now, she could see the girl sniffling slightly from there. Dread filtered in as Jamie watched the girl pout from under her eyelashes before glancing up, where a sprig of mistletoe hung.
Jamie winced and turned around as Harry began snogging the daylights out of the girl, and Jamie tumbled back and toward the door as quietly as she could.
"He has no idea," she shook herself, as the doors sealed shut from behind her and melted into the wall. She tucked her head, walking quickly as possible, taking a random route back toward the common room to skirt around any patrols, muttering and fake retching to herself as she went.
Jamie knew Harry was not going to get the outcome he was hoping for with Cho. The girl was still in love…well, infatuation, with Cedric. She was grieving and in Jamie's opinion, Cho refused to let go of her grief. It was her identity now, which was common for a lot people who had experienced loss. People mistakenly believed they needed to repair the giant hole ripped through them, and when they couldn't, they lost themselves in it.
Familiar with loss as she was, she knew the truth: no one ever repaired from loss. They couldn't seal a hole that large, they had to learn to live with it. Maybe they could fill it with other things, find a way to appreciate it, but it would still be there. A burden, a weight, a chink in the armor.
Jamie had many tears inside of her heart, just as Harry did, and she had come to learn in the past year that no matter what she did, it would not ever feel better. It would simply be something she could survive with, or it would become her undoing.
Severus was beginning to learn this, many years late. In many ways, she knew he was channeling his grief and guilt over her mother into protecting and loving Jamie. She knew it, and she accepted it. It was better to be a source of hope for someone rather than a ghost.
"You know why," Severus' voice echoed in her head, as it had for the last week. "You do, Jamie. You love him."
She faltered in her steps; lips pursed as she mulled over what Severus had said. She knew it in her heart, she had begun realizing it slowly, she truly loved Draco. She was in love with him, and it terrified her.
Because the way she felt about Draco far outweighed anything she had ever felt for anyone. Including Cedric.
Draco had been an unexpected surprise. He had started off as an enemy, then an unfortunate ally, and somehow, slowly, had become her greatest friend. Her best friend. Jamie hadn't thought twice about asking Draco to come with her to view the vision, she had asked instinctively, and he had stood up immediately to join her.
"What are you doing out of your common room at this hour, Miss Potter?" A voice startled her, and she jolted. She turned, flinching, to see Umbridge standing there with a feral looking Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson.
"I—" her words caught in her throat; she had been so caught off guard she hadn't even heard them approaching.
"Go on Miss Potter, tell me a lie to save you from this, we've caught you red-handed," Umbridge was practically salivating with joy at the sight of her in the hallway after curfew.
"I was just—"
"There you are, Miss Shacklebolt," Severus and Draco rounded the corner, looking haughty and disinterested. Jamie's shoulders relaxed instantly at the sight of them. Umbridge's eyes widened, clearly disappointed in not being able to punish Jamie for anything.
"You're late," Severus told her coldly. She could see the gentleness in his eyes despite it, and she tried to look both chastised and her usual mix of uncaring for authority.
"Sorry sir, Professor Umbridge stopped me," Jamie glanced boredly at Umbridge, her nose crinkling slightly. "She asked me to make up a lie about why I'm out after curfew, I was in the middle of thinking something up."
"My sincerest apologies at interrupting what I'm sure would have been a disrespectful, flagrant, and outright moronic lie," Severus sneered, turning a sharp glare to Professor Umbridge. "I was unaware you encouraged lying in your new regime, Madame."
"I do not," Umbridge squared her shoulders angrily, face flushing. "I nearly assumed—"
"These teenagers are naturally born liars, though perhaps not very creative nor subtle," Severus retorted. Jamie knew he was having fun picking at the woman. "I would encourage you, as you not have been involved in the education field very long, to never assume anything when it comes to whatever these foul-mouthed, shallow-minded students tell you."
"I—"
"I'm sure Miss Potter shall be able to break a rule or disregard your resolute authority," Severus stepped backwards, clearly dismissing the woman. "However, she is needed with Mr. Malfoy and I."
"Might I ask what you are doing with these two students?"
"As you may know, Mr. Malfoy is my student assistant, and he is helping me stew Mandrakes to replenish my antidote stores," Severus gestured to Draco. "Miss Shacklebolt has the unsettling affinity for handling screaming, struggling Mandrakes with proficiency. Mr. Longbottom is ill, so we are making do."
Jamie shrugged her shoulders and held up her hands as if to say: 'what can you do?' She saw Draco and Severus' lips twitch.
"Very well…well, ensure both students are escorted back to their dorms within a reasonable hour," Umbridge huffed.
Jamie didn't need a second opinion, she turned and began making her way toward the dungeons, Severus and Draco keeping stride with her.
"You're getting careless," Severus hissed at her as the speed-walked toward his office.
"I was looking for you and Draco," she lied, shrugging.
"Why?" Draco asked.
"You both weren't at dinner," she said. Which was true. She had noticed. Who knows where she would have gone to if Umbridge hadn't of stopped her? Maybe she would have gone to find them. She glanced at Draco, her face flushing slightly. She bit her lip, berating herself for being so silly.
"Nevertheless, I thought we warned you about not giving the woman more ammunition to expel you," Severus retorted, slowing as they descended the stairs.
"Well it all worked out, didn't it," Jamie scoffed. "So, where were you?"
"In a word: spying," Draco said quietly. Jamie could put it together; they had been meeting with the dark side.
"Anything juicy?"
"Jamie," Severus warned.
"Fine. Anything pertinent to either Harry or myself?"
"Not tonight."
"Well happy Monday to us all," she said dryly. Severus rolled his eyes as he ushered them into his office. Jamie was rather disappointed to see there was actual unpotting and stewing of Mandrakes to be done, and she twitched into the corner with her earmuffs as she ignored the initial…chopping.
Once the threat of screaming was over, she joined them at the table, chattering away as the pair prepared the potion. Severus sent her subtle looks, eyes flickering to Draco. Jamie's face stayed flushed, feeling somewhat nervous and fidgety as they talked. They had cast a mumbling spell over the door, so anyone who tried to eavesdrop would hear them talking, but not be able to make out the words unless the door was opened.
Had Draco always been so affectionate with her? She seemed to notice every little thing. The way his shoulder brushed against hers, or how he seemed completely comfortable in reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear for her. If he stepped behind her to grab another ingredient, his hand would gently touch the small of her back.
She was blushing, body tensed, alert as she tried to stifle the butterflies in her stomach every time, he looked at her or touched her.
Shit, she was screwed, wasn't she?
It was growing late, her eyes a little dry, but otherwise, she was wired with nervous energy. Suddenly, a bottle sitting on Severus' desk combusted, startling everyone.
"Bloody—" Severus immediately rose and dashed to the door where his bedroom was, where the floo was kept.
"Severus is everything alright?" Jamie called out, concerned. Draco straightened up, confused. She could hear talking, urgent voices. Severus appeared back in the doorway, face ashen.
"Jamie—we need to get you to the headmaster's office immediately," he flicked his hand, extinguishing the fires they had been brewing over.
"Wha—wait, what?"
"There's been an attack on your uncle, he was standing watch at the Ministry," Severus was drawing his cloaks over his shoulders.
"Watch? Over what?"
"No time for that," Severus shook his head. "Your cousins and brother are being gathered to his office; you must go."
"D-did you know about this, either of you?" Jamie couldn't help the fearful suspicion leaking in as she tried to process what was happening.
"No, strangely enough," Severus assured her. Draco took her hand, and she clung to it tightly.
"Come Jamie, I'll escort you. Draco, it's best you return to your dorm."
"But—" Jamie turned to Draco, looking torn. She had wanted to tell him. Been trying to tell him. Overwhelmed tears trickled from her eyes; she was terrified for her uncle…if he would be okay…if he was alive.
"It's okay," Draco gathered her into his arms for a moment. He pressed his lips to her forehead comfortingly. "It's going to be okay."
"Draco—I," she clung to him. "I—"
"I know," he said simply. "It's okay. I know you do."
She pulled back, gasping slightly, realizing what he was saying.
"I was going to tell you in a better way."
"It doesn't matter, I just wanted you to know that I know."
"H-how—" she was a mess of emotions. He reached up, smiling gently, wiping her tears from her eyes.
"I'll tell you real soon," he laughed kindly. "Don't you worry about it."
"Okay," she took a deep breath, shaking herself. She swiped at her eyes. "Okay. I'll…I'll get in touch with you soon, as soon as I can figure out what is happening."
"Take your time, I'll be here, I'm here for you always," he assured her. He pulled her in for a quick, chaste kiss. "I love you, be careful, go be with your family."
"I love you too, Draco," she squeezed him tightly before releasing him from her embrace. She tried to compose herself, stepping away from him, preparing to stride toward the unknown.
"Come, darling, they're waiting on us," Severus put his arm around her shoulder to guide her through the dungeons—a moment of comfort before he would have to act distant with her as they neared the headmaster's office.
Jamie was a mess of nerves as she trailed along beside Severus as they neared the office. Everything seemed to be sped up, somehow it felt like no time at all before they were ascending the stone staircase leading to the office.
Harry was slumped in a chair, eyes tired and bloodshot, Ron and Hermione hovering beside him. Ginny and the twins were there, dressed in pajamas, looking stricken. She went to Harry, kneeling before him, turning to Dumbledore expectantly.
"Is Uncle Arthur okay? What happened?"
"Arthur will survive," Dumbledore told her. "We were able to ensure the right people found him in time thanks to Harry's warning…he is at St. Mungo's with Molly and Kingsley getting treated for his injuries."
"Harry's warning?" Her gaze was sharp at the mention of her brother's name.
"I…I had a dream…I saw it happen…" Harry told her, looking distraught. Her eyes flashed to Dumbledore, concerned at what he was saying. There was a tension in the room between Harry and Dumbledore, she wasn't entirely certain what the cause was.
At once, the floo was flaring to life, she could hear Guin's voice. They were going to travel to Jamie's home before they flooed to Grimmauld Place to wait for Arthur and the others. They were going home for Christmas early.
Embracing her cousins, holding Ginny's hand in her own, placing a reassuring hand on her brother's shoulder, she helped guide everyone through the floo and to the rest of their family.
