The next day was spent very casually but enjoyably. When the Countess offered to take the ladies into the town of Matlock to do some shopping, Richard asked to go along with them. However, his Mother told him that he could not come as it was intended to be a 'ladies only' expedition and that he would have the afternoon to be with them. While visiting the shops in the town, Elizabeth took this opportunity to buy some small gifts for each of her sisters. When they went into a bookstore, she found several books that were new to her and looked to be interesting.
She said, "I would enjoy all three of these books, but I can only buy one of them. I am having trouble deciding which one." It was obvious that the reason that she could buy only one was the cost.
The Countess told the shopkeeper, "We will buy all three books. Wrap them up and charge them to the Earl's account." When Elizabeth tried to object, the Countess reminded her how much they were in her debt, then she asked Elizabeth quite politely to accept them as a very small token of their appreciation. Although Elizabeth did not realize the effect of her attempted refusal, it enhanced her respect in the Countess's eyes as it was obvious that Elizabeth was not avaricious as many young ladies that she knew in town tended to be. The shopkeeper wrapped the books and handed them to the footman who was accompanying the ladies.
It was very noticeable from the deference paid by the local residents and shopkeepers that the Countess was well known and respected in the town. This admiration made Elizabeth realize that the Fitzwilliams must be good landlords for their tenants and supporters of local businesses.
After they returned from their shopping expedition and had lunch, Richard insisted on showing Elizabeth the fine gardens of the estate. While walking slowly and admiring the flowers, he said, "Miss Bennet, if I may, I would like to talk to you about my future plans." These words made Elizabeth pay very careful attention as she knew that this conversation would be one of the most important in her life. "My parents were not very happy when I first decided to enter the army, but I knew that I had to find some profession, being the second son. When the battles with the French became more intense, they worried that I would be sent to the peninsula with my regiment. This happened, but I was lucky to escape injury, even though we were in some intense situations.
"They have recently been insisting that I leave the army now that the situation is a bit quieter in the peninsula with Napoleon taking his main army into Russia. They are so eager to have me get out that my Father has offered to give me a small estate so I will have something to live on. This offer is very tempting to me as I have been completely dependent on the allowance he gives me. As we discussed in Kent, I would have needed to find an heiress with a good dowry before I could think of marrying.
"I decided that I will ask the generals if I will be allowed to sell my commission and retire, but my first commitment is to His Majesty. Until they decide that I can leave, I am obligated to serve my country to the best of my abilities. I expect that the generals will not be pleased, but that they will allow me to go within a few months, as long as Napoleon keeps his army far away in Russia.
"So, Miss Bennet, assuming I will be free in a few months, may I call on you then?"
Elizabeth knew that this request was indeed of the highest importance for her future and that she had to respond very carefully. There was no way that she could tell him that he was only second in her thoughts, behind Mr. Darcy. She knew that she preferred his cousin, but she could not reject him completely in case Mr. Darcy did not renew his request for her hand. She was not proud of what she was going to do, but she had to keep him interested as a possible alternative suitor. She knew he was basically saying that he would return to court her with the objective of eventually asking for her hand.
She and Jane had always vowed that they would marry only for the deepest of love, but she was no longer sure that this plan was realistic. What if she never found that deep love? She had already turned down two offers of marriage because she did not love the suitors. Now she was in a quandary—she thought that she was at the beginning of loving Mr. Darcy, but what if he did not renew his offer? Would it then be sensible for her to refuse the Colonel because she did not feel so deeply for him, especially since she knew that he could make her happy and give her a reasonable life? Were her and Jane's vows just the product of over-imaginative youthful fancies? Was it a sign of maturity to know that an acceptable marriage was better than none at all?
"Colonel Fitzwilliam, I understand your present position and thank you for thinking of me. I must tell you that I am completely unsure of what my future holds, so I cannot make any commitments at this time. However, I will say that you will be welcome to come to Hertfordshire to visit us whenever you are able." She hoped that these words did not commit her but would be sufficient encouragement for him not to give up all hope for her. She thought that he would not be able to come to visit for several months, which should be enough time for her to know Mr. Darcy's intentions.
Unknown to her, the Colonel did hear her words as being an agreement that she would accept his advances when his future was more certain and that she was encouraging him to go to Longbourn to court her. This is what he wanted to hear, so this is what he believed he heard. This misunderstanding would have serious consequences later.
The rest of their final day at Matlock Manor went very well. The Earl and Mr. Gardiner discussed possible future investments together, and the Countess and Mrs. Gardiner had an enjoyable talk about Derbyshire and their families and children, even though the Countess's were much older. Both couples were well aware of the huge differences between their respective stations in life, but they enjoyed their time together. The Matlocks were both impressed that people in trade could be just as easy to converse with as people of their own station in life, perhaps even easier and more interesting.
The next morning, the Gardiners and Elizabeth left to continue their journey back to Longbourn where they had left their children in Jane's care. Mrs. Gardiner wanted to talk to her niece about the two gentlemen who were obviously interested in her, but she did not find the right opportunity for such a delicate subject as she did not want to involve her husband in this discussion. Being only a man, he would not have the same views on courtship and marriage as women. When they arrived at Longbourn, the children were loud in their joy at reuniting with their parents, even though they had had lots of fun with their cousins. Elizabeth, knowing Jane so well, saw that there was a special glow about her. She thought that she knew what had caused this, but waited until they had a moment alone.
"Jane, tell me your news. I know there is something you want to tell me."
"Oh, Lizzy, I am so happy I do not know what to do. We heard rumours that Netherfield was to be reopened and that Mr. Bingley was returning without his sisters. He did return alone and the very next morning he came to call on us. I was busy with our cousins, but he joined us and was soon playing with them; I suspect just so he could be in my company. However, he really did seem to enjoy being with the children and that shows that he will be a great father. I managed to let him know how disappointed I was that he left so suddenly last autumn without a word. I could see that he was very embarrassed about this. We had few opportunities to talk quietly because of the children, but I enlisted Mary and Kitty to help with them. They both saw that we needed time to talk, so they took care of our cousins several times so we could find time alone.
"He told me that his sisters and Mr. Darcy had convinced him that I did not care for him as they could not see any special regard from me. You and Charlotte were absolutely right about this when you told me that I should show more regard for him and not try to hide my feelings. I took your advice and let him know that I did care for him but that he would have to earn my affection once more. He asked if he could court me properly so we could spend more time together, and I agreed after I made him worry that I might not accept his request. He even spoke to our father about this and I believe that Father teased him a lot before he finally gave his approval.
"I asked him what made him come back to Netherfield. He said that while he was in Derbyshire, Mr. Darcy told him that he now believed that he might have misread my regard for him and that he encouraged him to return to find out what my feelings are for himself. Lizzy, I assume that this means that you had a talk with Mr. Darcy while you were there. Tell me what happened between you two. I thought that you did not like him at all after being in his company in Kent."
"Jane, it is true that when we parted in Kent at Easter, we did not part on the best of terms. I thought that I would never see him again. When we were in the town of Lambton in Derbyshire where Aunt Gardiner had spent her youth, she mentioned that Mr. Darcy's estate of Pemberley was very close and that she wanted to visit there again. She emphasized that the house was very elegant but that the gardens were some of the best we would see. I agreed to tour the estate only after hearing that the family was not in residence.
"You can imagine how embarrassed I was to meet Mr. Darcy there, completely by accident. He said that he had returned unexpectedly because he had business with his steward. I was very surprised at how civil he was with me and the Gardiners, even after he was introduced to them and realized that they were our relatives in trade. I was even more surprised when he asked if he could introduce his sister to me. The next morning, he brought her to the inn where we were staying.
"Jane, you will not believe it, but his sister Georgiana was the young lady who was being abducted last autumn. She recognized me and I also knew who she was as soon as I saw her again. She was so happy to meet me that she flew into my arms and we could not at first explain how we knew each other. Everyone was amazed at our reconnecting, especially Mr. Darcy, since we had known each other for so many months. What a coincidence that she turned out to be Mr. Darcy's sister!
"I am sure you remember the officer in the red coat who dispatched that scoundrel who was trying to abduct the lady? That was the Darcys' cousin, Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam, whom I met in Kent. He said that he had not seen my face during that incident, so he had not recognized me.
"We could not talk for very long that first meeting as Mr. Bingley soon came to the inn and the Darcys did not want to tell him what had happened on New Bond Street. We parted with plans to meet the next day. Mr. Darcy sent a message to his Aunt and Uncle, the Countess and Earl of Matlock, who were at their estate in Derbyshire, about finding that I was the lady they had been looking for and that I was in Lambton. They knew about the attempted attack as Georgiana went to their house in London immediately after as Colonel Fitzwilliam is their son. He had been very friendly with me in Kent but had told me very plainly that, as the second son, he could only marry a lady who had a large dowry. He came to Pemberley the very next day as he wanted to tell me how excited he was to learn that it was I who saved Miss Darcy.
"He also said that his parents wanted to meet me to thank me, so they invited us to go to their estate and stay there for as long as we could. The Gardiners said that we could go to stay there for two nights as Uncle had to get back to his business. The Earl and Countess were very gracious when we met them, even after they found out that Uncle was in trade. The Countess took Aunt and me shopping in the town of Matlock while the Earl talked to Uncle about investment opportunities. After we returned, the Colonel took me to see their gardens and he made it very obvious that he was interested in me. He said that his parents wanted him to get out of the army while he was still whole and the Earl told him that he would give him an estate so he could afford to marry.
"Jane, he said that it would take some time before he could leave the army but he asked me if he could call on me when he was free. I am sure that he was asking if he could court me, but I did not want to agree as I am hoping that Mr. Darcy may still have an interest in me. I tried to put him off by saying only that he 'would be welcome to come to Hertfordshire to visit us whenever he was able.' I hope he did not misunderstand me and think that I was agreeing to be courted by him in preference to Mr. Darcy. He is very affable and personable and would make someone a good husband, but I think that I am better suited for Mr. Darcy."
"Lizzy! Now you have two very fine gentlemen who are interested in you. How did you manage that? Remember our vow that we would marry only for the deepest love? Do you love Mr. Darcy? Could you learn to love the Colonel?"
"I am not sure if what I feel for Mr. Darcy is love, but I do esteem and admire him very much. I may be beginning to love him, if that makes sense. I know that he is a very good man and that we could be happy together and that I made a huge mistake when I refused his offer in Kent. The Colonel is such a pleasant gentleman that I am sure I could learn to regard him highly, if not actually love him. Jane, I have thought a lot about our vows to marry only for the deepest of love, but I am no longer sure that this plan is for the best. What if I turn down a very reasonable offer hoping to find that deep love? That no longer makes sense to me.
"But tell me, do you love Mr. Bingley? How do you know if you do?"
"I do love him, with all my heart. He is the perfect gentleman, even if his family was so recently in trade. How do I know that I love him? I am not sure, but I like everything about him, especially since he told me how he stood up to his sisters and sent them on their way. I admire him, but I will admit only to you that there is more. When we are together, I want to be close to him, to touch him and to have him touch me; not in an inappropriate way, but just to feel his physical presence. Lizzy, I hate to admit it, but if he asks to kiss me, I will let him and I know that it will be wonderful. I just know that this must be a normal part of love; it cannot be wrong to feel this way about a man you love.
"Do you feel this way about Mr. Darcy?"
"I do like him, very much, now that I know him better. As for the rest of what you said, I do think that he is the most handsome gentleman I have ever met. I do admire his physical presence, but we have not been close enough that I have thought about kissing him. Now that I think about it, I believe that it would be very enjoyable. I know that I would much rather kiss him than the Colonel as he is not nearly so handsome!"
"Lizzy! Be serious! It sounds as if you may already be in love with him. Do you know if you might see him or the Colonel, again?"
"As a matter of fact, I talked to Miss Darcy about coming here as she wanted to get to know me better. I like her and would like to be her friend as she seems to have very few friends who are near her own age. I even invited her to stay with us here at Longbourn and Mother agreed when I asked her. I would not be surprised to see the Darcys come here quite soon."
