A/N for 2020-03-20: Many thanks to chaysara for beta-ing this story. Please know that I fiddled with her work after the fact, so all errors are my own. This should be a good, meaty chapter into which you can sink your readerly teeth.

~ Erin


The next few weeks passed peacefully. The vampires that had flitted in and out of Forks and the reservation did not make their presence felt again. Charlie accepted with awkward grace Edward's presence in Bella and Sarah's lives.

It was on a rare Wednesday afternoon off that he walked into the living room with the mail. "This looks promising," Charlie said, handing it to Bella. The return address was for the awards department at the local college. The envelope was thick.

"Oh my gosh," she said, reading it and smiling, "I've got a scholarship!"

"Of course you do," Edward said, coming up to peer over her shoulder, Sarah's little body turned into his own. "Courses and books covered and transferrable too. Congratulations!"

But a frown was pulling down the curve of her smile. She could take online courses, yes, but some would have to be in person, and she hadn't found work yet or childcare.

Charlie had offered his quiet congratulations, too, and then headed back outside to finish up with the Christmas lights.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked, seeing the change.

She sighed. "I don't have a job, and I'll need to find childcare."

"Childcare," Edward rolled his eyes, "please." He lifted his eyebrows and gestured with his one open hand. "Do you find me wanting in that department?" He knew, though, what she was worrying about: that he might leave again. That they all might leave.

"No," she said, covering up her frown with a fleeting grin.

"Even if your worst fears come true, Bella—and they're not going to," he said quickly, seeing her look, "and you wake up to find us all gone, do you really think Billy or Sue or any of your other friends or family wouldn't be there for you?"

"No." She sighed, following this line of logic.

"Good," Edward said, rubbing Sarah's back, "so you can stop worrying because it won't come to that and because I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me."

She looked back at the letter.

"What will you study?" he asked, trying to move to gentler topics, sitting down on the couch, laying Sarah down on the playmat.

She joined him, watching Sarah suck on her hands, batting at the toys suspended above her.

"World literature, for starters," she said, "then some less enthralling science courses."

"Still focused on engineering?" he asked. "It doesn't seem to be something you're terribly excited about."

"It isn't," she admitted, "but it has very good employment opportunities."

Employment. Childcare. Work. These were all things that Edward wanted her not to have to worry about. He wanted her to have them, if she wanted them, but not to worry about them. There was no need.

"So," he said, taking a different tack, "Alice and Esme are going Christmas shopping tomorrow. They wondered if you wanted to go with them."

"Yeah," Bella said, still looking at the letter, "that would be helpful."

Edward had tried to hand her his car keys when he'd brought her and Sarah back home weeks before, but she'd refused. "I don't want to inconvenience you," she'd said, to which Edward had laughed gently.

"Vampires don't exactly need cars," he'd reminded her.

"Sure," Bella said, "but don't you think Charlie would find it a bit odd that you're lending me your car when theoretically, you human Cullens might have need for it?"

She'd had a point there, but they could have easily figured something out, if she'd been willing. But she hadn't been.

"So," he said, "you still haven't told me what you'd like for Christmas," he said, slipping his arm around her, kissing the top of her head.

"No," she smiled, "because you're here. That's enough."

He groaned.

"That's what you tell me when I ask you," she said, poking him in the chest with a finger. "Turnabout is fair play."

"So," he said, "if I asked for something, you'd be okay asking for something?"

"Maybe," she said.

He arched an eyebrow at her.

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine, yes . . . maybe."

"I'll think about that, then," he said, "but I warn you, it's open season on Sarah for presents. Alice has no concept of restraint."

Bella laughed. "I saw the writing on the wall for that a long time ago."

"Maybe Sarah would like a car," Edward murmured, pretending to talk to himself. He laughed when he caught Bella's look. "I wouldn't, even though I'd really like to." He leaned forward towards Sarah and said, "Vroom-vroom." She giggled.

Bella had leaned forward too, moving back in tandem as Edward did. Their faces were close, and the apprehension on Bella's face seemed to disappear as she smiled at his joke. Her smile revealed a softness he'd only glimpsed in the last weeks. He made himself remain still, not moving, even though he wanted to close the gap. He was rewarded when she brought her lips to his. He could feel the rush of her blood there, almost hot against the chill of his own flesh. Her hands found a home in his hair and the chaste span of his back. Edward didn't dare move his own hands. He didn't trust their resourcefulness.

The clunk of the ladder against the side of the house startled her away. She blushed floridly, watching Charlie's form move up the rungs directly outside the window behind them.

Her father paused, pointedly smiling and waving at them both.

Edward chuckled. "Bravo, Charlie. Well played."

Bella laughed too.

"I love you," Edward said.

"I love you too," Bella answered.

- 0 -

When Bella told him about her shopping plans, Charlie had been pleased. "Good," he said, "you've been hanging around the house way too much."

She'd looked at him, feeling a little uncertain at this judgment. "Being a parent is not a prison sentence. Get out. Have fun. It'll be nice to have friends to help, too." Esme had skyrocketed in Charlie's esteem, coming around at well-placed intervals with the occasional meal or help or company. Bella wished Edward could rise similarly but accepted that he was tolerated. For now, it was enough.

"So," Alice asked, "what are the plans, ladies?"

They'd stopped for lunch, a few purchases behind them with a few more ahead. "I need to get Charlie something. A place with fishing gear would be good," Bella said.

"He is predictable that way," Alice mumbled.

Sarah began to wail, and Bella fumbled with her bra, trying to undo the snap. Poised close to her mother's breast, Sarah was turning her head back and forth frantically. A pair of women at the next table stared, disapproval written clearly over their faces. Bella caught the tail end of one of their whispered comments. "She's not going to do that here, is she?"

Bella blushed angrily, but made herself focus on Sarah, who latched with indignation, making Bella smart.

It made her miss Esme's dark look at the other women, who both paled at the aggressive curl of her lips.

Alice kicked Esme under the table, shaking her head imperceptibly.

"Some people are just intolerant," Alice muttered. Louder, she said, "Babies need to eat, too." This she addressed towards their table-neighbours, who were standing, moving towards the till.

"Any thoughts on what you're getting for Edward?" Esme asked, once again looking charming and suitably maternal to the world.

"No," Bella said, frowning. "He's trickier to buy for."

"Mmm," Esme agreed. "Speaking of gifts, I did want to bring up something we got you before," she said, watching Bella carefully. She didn't want to upset her, but it seemed like a good time to discuss this.

Bella looked up, a crease at her eyebrows.

"I don't think you used the plane tickets we bought you," Esme continued, pretending to take a sip of her drink.

"No," Bella said, chagrined. "Sorry, I didn't."

"Don't be sorry," Esme said. "But I thought you might want to visit your mother before classes get going in January."

"I'm pretty sure they've expired," Bella mumbled, embarrassed that she hadn't done anything with the vouchers. She should have given them to a friend. It had just been too painful to even look at them.

"I renewed them," Esme said softly, "if you'd like to."

Bella was even more embarrassed. "You didn't have—"

"No," Esme said, smiling gently, "I didn't. I wanted to. And I think Renée would like to see you and Sarah, and I suspect you'd like to see her."

Bella sighed, letting go of her discomfort. "I would. Thank you."

"The tickets," Esme said, pushing her food artfully around on her plate, "are good for two adults. Babies fly for free."

"Oh," Bella said, thinking of all the possibilities this unpacked.

"Or Sarah can have her own seat," Esme added casually, "whichever you'd prefer."

"No," Bella said with a shy grin, "I think I know who I'd like to go with me."

Esme did too. "Lovely," she said, catching the waiter's eye, signalling for the bill, watching Alice turn away to hide her own grin.

Christmas was not the awkward stalemate that Bella had anticipated. With Billy, Sue, Leah, Seth, Edward, and Charlie all under the same roof, it had more than enough potential to be.

Edward loved her gift and the scrawled inscription, too: "A poet from my time. I promise it won't make you cry. - Bella."

Leah and Seth were polite to Edward, more so than Sue, who watched him with guarded wariness, nearly twitching every time he picked up Sarah.

It was Seth who muttered, "Geez, Mom, relax," when Charlie noticed her behaviour.

"Don't worry, Sue. Edward will share," he said easily, taking Sarah from him, letting Sue hold her.

Sue smiled uneasily, but nodded at Charlie, obviously trying to appear more relaxed than she felt.

The stuffiness in the house was a bit much, and when Sue shooed them outside for a walk just before noon, Bella didn't object. It was a relief to be able to openly acknowledge what they all were.

"You are all ridiculous," she said, adjusting the handlebar on the stroller, watching Seth, Leah and Edward all squish up their noses at each other.

"Clearly you have no sense of smell," Leah said.

"My sense of smell works just fine, thank you very much."

Seth, Leah, and Edward all grunted, but they dropped the issue.

"You guys find anything?" Leah asked.

"No," Edward said.

Bella's shoulders tensed.

"It's okay," he said softly. "I wouldn't keep anything from you."

Bella nodded. She wanted to say she knew, but the trust, while it had grown, wasn't in full bloom. It pushed up and down, a tender crocus, uncertain of its season.

"I don't," Edward said in response to something Leah or Seth had thought. He looked at Bella, as did Seth and Leah.

"Mind if we disappear for a bit and run off some energy?" Leah asked Bella. "You know, work up an appetite before dinner?"

Bella looked at them incredulously. "You need to work up an appetite for dinner?"

Seth grinned. "It can't hurt."

"Sure," Bella said, "I'll just be ambling along all uncoordinated and human-shaped."

Edward smiled. "I'm not going anywhere." He slid a hand onto the stroller, his other around her waist. The cast had come off, but her hand tired easily. She shivered at his touch. "Cold?" he asked.

"No," she said, smiling softly. She didn't pull away.

They walked along, waving at the occasional other couple or family they met.

"So," he asked, "looking forward to next week?"

"Yes." Her smile widened. "Warmth and sunshine. And grandma!" she added, seeing Sarah reach for her. "And you. in said sunshine." She raised her eyebrows at him.

"It's looking to be pretty cloudy—and cool. Sorry," he added. "But, you'll have time to use my Christmas gift to you before we go."

"I'm still getting over my surprise on that front," she said, suppressing a giggle.

"I'm full of them," he grinned back.

"You were all . . . very restrained," she said. "Thank you." She'd actually worried that there would be an uncomfortable disparity Christmas morning and had been visibly relieved when everything had been small, tasteful, and thoughtful. Edward's gift had been the largest but most practical of them all. "Are you certain you're up for clothes shopping with me?" she asked.

"You said the magic words: with you. I'm pretty much up for anything with you." He turned the stroller to bring them around the curve that would take them back towards her house.

"Anything, huh?" she asked, looking at him.

It was his turn to raise his eyebrows. "Why? What did you have in mind?"

She blushed. "Nothing in particular. Just testing the waters there."

He didn't buy it for a minute, but he did wonder why she didn't want to tell him. The connection between being away together, though, and her blush, was sudden.

He still had his arm around her. "Does it have something to do with the conversation we had about beds?"he asked very softly, his way of telling her she could safely veer away from the topic without fear of pursuit.

Her cheeks were scarlet now and not from the cold.

She nodded.

"Ah," he said. "Can we stop a bit?" pointing to the park bench across the way.

They sat together, he keeping her close, the stroller parked in front of them.

"I think you're about to call me incredibly old-fashioned."

"Oh?" she asked, eyebrows up, watching him.

"What we talked about. That possibility . . . it isn't something that's entirely on the table for me. There's a prerequisite."

Her look turned quizzical. "Which is?"

"Marriage," he said softly, watching her face, which had fallen to a surprised blank.

"Marriage?"

"You look positively scandalized," he said, grinning.

"I . . . am," she managed.

"Why?" he asked, tucking her hair behind her ear. She caught his hand there, holding it to her face. He could hear her heart thudding louder and faster at his touch.

"Just think about my own parents, Edward."

"I am," he said. "You don't think they would want that for you?"

She looked at him, incredulous.

"Well, maybe not Charlie," he admitted.

"Yes, my parents," she said with emphasis, "who married young. Divorced almost immediately after having a child. You do know half of marriages end in divorce." She was still staring at him, trying to wrap reason around his idea.

He grinned, his lop-sided, beautiful smile, "I think you'll find the human-vampire divorce rate is considerably lower than that."

She snorted out a laugh, but then all the laughter drained out of her face, "Are you, are you—?"

"Am I down on one knee with a ring in hand? No, but, you asked about what was being offered, and I wanted to be clear." He paused, pulling his hand away to take her hands in his. "I would marry you in a heartbeat, Bella Swan. But it won't be a surprise when I propose."

She breathed out a sigh of relief. "Please don't take my reaction the wrong way. I love you, I just . . . " she wasn't sure how to finish that sentence.

"It would be the antithesis of slow?" Edward supplied, still grinning widely.

"Yes," she said, but smiled, turning her face up to his.

He took the risk. It was more than worth it, his arms sure at her back, the silence of the park an invitation to linger, their lips together, her own hands more adventurous than they had been before. She reacquainted her touch with the feel of his torso.

He pulled away first, not wanting to push her past her limits, but she followed his movement, her own wants not satisfied.

When their kiss ended, he said, lightly, "Remind me not to propose marriage more often."

She laughed and smiled, and he took her hand, kissing it. She felt safer, more at ease, knowing exactly where his thoughts lay.

Edward excused himself to join his own family for dinner, leaving Bella with a whispered promise of returning later when Charlie was asleep.

After the rest of the guests had disappeared, and she and Charlie had cleaned up the last of the dishes, they sat down on the couch with large sighs.

"That was good," Charlie said, "but I'm really glad they've all left."

"Not used to the noise, huh?"

"No," he said, shaking his head and smiling.

"You'd better get used to it, Dad, if you and Sue are getting married." Bella smiled. Sarah was on the couch beside her, arms extended above her head, fully asleep.

"'Spose so," he said. They both rested their eyes on Sarah. Bella could feel herself relax, just watching her steady, sweet breaths.

"It's gonna be quiet with you two gone next week," he said, frowning a little.

Bella could tell he was working up to something. He was rubbing his fingers together in a rhythmic pattern, his nervous energy apparent. She waited. He would get to it when he was ready.

"Do you have everything you need for the trip?" he asked.

"Not quite," she said, "but Edward and I'll head to Port Angeles in a few days and get a few things."

"Mmm," Charlie said. He was looking worriedly at Sarah.

"Dad, what is it?" Bella finally said, suddenly worried there was bad news.

He looked down at the floor and then back up at her, his eyebrows furrowed. "I don't want this to come out sounding the wrong way," he began. "I love Sarah. I'm so glad you have her, to be her grandfather. I just . . . I don't think I'm ready to do that again yet."

They were both complementary shades of scarlet now.

"It's not something you have to worry about, Dad," Bella mumbled, the words stumbling out of her, half formed.

"Yeah," Charlie said, "I think that's what you told me when you were seeing Jacob."

Bella's face felt uncomfortably hot. She'd explained that she'd been on the pill. Charlie had just assumed she hadn't been careful enough about when she took it. Bella hadn't corrected his assumptions.

"I think I'm just going to wrap up this conversation by saying that there's no way that could happen. Please put two and two together, and don't make me spell it out."

"Bella—"

"Just think about it, Dad. Please." Her teeth were clenched together, eyes trying to plant themselves in the carpet.

"Birth control—"

"Not using any," Bella said, a bit louder than she needed to.

"WHAT?" Charlie half-yelled.

"Two. And. Two, Dad." Her teeth were aching.

Charlie paused for a moment. "Oh," he said. "You and Edward aren't—"

"No," she said, louder than before.

"Okay," he said, after a moment. Then he stood. "All right. I'm just gonna . . . " He didn't finish the sentence but fled from the living room, heading upstairs.

Bella followed the same path shortly, putting Sarah to bed.

"Edward?" she whispered, sotto voce.

He appeared, his hand on hers at the bassinet. She put her head to his chest. "Please help me forget that conversation ever happened."

Edward grinned and then chuckled. "I know of one guaranteed way to distract you, but I'm not sure that's what you were hoping for." He slid his arm around her back.

She blushed but then grinned too, pulling away. "No, not really."

"You didn't tell Charlie about what happened?" he asked, nodding towards Sarah.

She lifted her eyebrows incredulously. "After hearing that, you have to ask? Of course not."

He thought for a moment. "You were on the pill . . . and only once. Those are some pretty astronomical odds."

Bell made a derisive sound in her throat. "Did you ever wonder why I had a midwife?"

"I did, but I'm not sure how those are connected."

Her face continued its shifting colour show. "She believed me when I told her. No one else did. You would not believe how many high-handed lectures I got on how I must have messed up the birth control." She paused for a bit, her voice quieter when she spoke again. "Even Jacob questioned it until his dad set him straight." She shrugged.

Edward's eyebrows were high. "Jacob did?" He took a moment to marvel at the stupidity of youth.

Bella's flush was an angry shade of purple. "Yeah," she said, looking down, scuffing her foot on the carpet.

Edward realized suddenly just how deep that doubt must have run, and he felt the familiar, internal twist of his own gut. What she had gone through when he was gone, because he had left.

"I'm sorry," he said, "that you had to go through that."

"Thank you," she said, trying to shrug it off. "It's in the past. There's no question, just looking at her, whose she is."

"No," he said in agreement. .

They slipped into lighter topics until the night pulled Bella into sleep and the safe comfort of Edward's arms.


DISCLAIMER: S. Meyer owns Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.