« Who ? »
« Nagumo Kaoru. » I repeated « Chizuru's twin brother. Think for a minute, Toudou. Have you seen Chizuru's belly recently ? » I sighed.
When he saw me, Kaoru tried to make himself even smaller in the corner as if his only wish was to disappear within the wall. I looked at him pensively and opened my mouth again.
« We should take him back. » I said.
« No, Saito-san, please don't... » muttered Kaoru with tears forming in his eyes.
How could that kid look even more pathetic every time I lay my eyes on him, I wonder... But I had no wish to force my horse to endure his weight considering his evil snake nature.
« Saito » objected Toudou « have you seen him ? He's so thin it looks like he could be carried by the wind ! They're eating him ! »
« That is indeed unfortunate. » I said « but what happens to Kaoru is of no concern to me. Plus, while they're feeding on him, and he heals, they're not hurting anyone. »
Kaoru's gaze dropped back on the floor, concient that his futur was in my hands. That guy was a snake and if it had been for me, he would have been dead long ago. I agreed to surrender him to the Yase clan but if he had been dumb enough to escape the only ones who cared about his well being then that wasn't my problem.
« But... If he's Chizuru's brother then... doesn't that makes him your brother in law ? You can't let him be eaten alive, Saito ! »
I sighed and looked at Kaoru again. Chizuru did tell me that she'd like to speak to her brother but to me, a good Kaoru was a dead Kaoru. Or at least, an inprisonned Kaoru.
« Saito-san » said Kaoru, maybe seeking for an opportunity to convince me « I never meant to leave the Yase, I swear. I got abducted by the female fox to feed these... »
« Monsters ? » I finished « I guess the Ochimizu isn't that funny when you swap from master to prey. »
He stayed silent again and looked back at the ground, muttering inarticulate words.
« Saito... » said Toudou again « we have to go now or they'll find us... »
« If they don't get Kaoru back, they'll pursue us anywhere. Talk. » I ordered Kaoru « I'm giving you a chance to escape. »
« If you really help me, I promise to help my sister for the cure. » he tried « and I'll get back to the Yase... To Sen... She's nice to me... You don't know how it had been like to be with the Nagumo clan... They were so disappointed to have inherited the male heir... If I had been Chizuru... »
« I won't let you anywhere near Chizuru. » I affirmed « But I can keep you in custody until the Yase come and get you. Take it or leave it. »
I didn't even have to wait for him to think about it before he agreed.
« Yes ! Yes ! Please, Saito-san, take me ! »
« If Toudou wants to take you, he can. » I said « but I am not. And if you bat an eye, I'm chopping you as many fingers as necessary for you to behave. »
I looked at Toudou and waited for his decision and he nodded with resolve, grabbing Kaoru by the arm and helping him on the saddle.
« I'm taking him. »
I didn't say anything. I already knew that what we were doing was a mistake. Mika would follow our tracks and the Rasetsu would come at us with furious despair, lost without their precious source, and we wouldn't have any other solution than to kill them all before they kill us or start to kill people again. Kaoru would have been a small casualty that would have saved us a lot of trouble but nevermind, guess we both had soft hearts in the end.
I got on my horse and Toudou got behind Kaoru on his, telling him to hold tight to the horse's mane. We galloped until the village was behind and we weren't close to any others before I ordered the halt.
« Are you sure it's safe, Saito ? » asked Toudou, concerned. « We should ride straight back to the camp, don't you think ? »
« I'm not loosing a single man against desperate bloodthirsty Rasetsu. » I said calmly, making a fire « We are far enough not to make any human victim. We'll wait for them here. »
« O... Okay. » said Toudou, not convinced
« But you're sure they can find us ? »
« When I was searching for Chizuru, Mika was able to track down Kazama two weeks later from Osaka to Hakone. They'll find us. »
I crouched in front of Kaoru and gave him a tanto. His eyes widden at the sight of the short blade.
« You trust me with a weapon ? » he asked.
« No. » I answered « I want you to pour your blood. »
« Saito, are you insane ?! » yelled Toudou but I didn't waver « Have you seen in what shape he is ?! »
« The Rasetsu are going to come eventually. » I continued to explain to Kaoru, ignoring my friend « Toudou is fighting the bloodlust for too long and can't stay in the daylight. Without your blood, we are going to fail. Now, I don't care if Sannan takes you back and your only chance of survival is Toudou here. If I were you, I would make him strong before making him fight. Your call. »
« He's too... hungry... I'm going to die... » protested Kaoru sadly.
« If he looses control, I'll stop him. » I said.
« Saito, I'm really not sure if that's a good idea » objected Toudou « and if you can stay in the daylight, I can too. I can have the same iron will you have. »
« This has nothing to do with will » I confessed, plunging my gaze in his « I can resist the pain and the madness that much because I feed on Chizuru. »
« You what ?! » yelled the both of them.
« I'm sorry Toudou » I sighed, facing my friend « My will isn't as strong as you think it is. Yours is undoubtedly stronger. You've been a Rasetsu for so long and you never wavered while I've started feeding on blood only two months after my transformation. »
« You drink Chizuru-chan's... » he repeated, astonished.
« How dare you drink from my sister ?! » yelled Kaoru « You're not any better from the brewery guys ! »
« Silence » I ordered him and my eyes were enough to froze him in place. I turned back to Toudou, even if I knew that no excuses could ever be enough « It was her idea. It seems to be harmless for her and she heals. Yet, it is a salvation for me. I will not apologize or make excuses since there is no point in doing so but know that I would not think less of you if you drink from Kaoru. »
« But... » started Toudou before turning his head away with a somber expression « what if, after I know how it tastes like, I can't stop myself from wanting more ? »
« You already crave it, Toudou. Face it or escape it but there will be only two endings. Either you'll drink or you'll get caught by the madness. »
I turned to Kaoru who still had the tanto in hand and locked my gaze on him, waiting for him to cut through his flesh. He took his long hair out of the way and nodded.
« You'll stop him before he kills me ? » he asked, scared.
« Ha. » I nodded.
« Saito... » implored Toudou.
Kaoru slid the tanto against his neck and the scent of his blood immediately caught my nose. It was the scent I remembered, the one Chizuru had when I attacked her, before her pregnancy altered slightly the taste of her blood. So good... Yet, I stayed impassive, controlled. I was desiring it but not craving it, contrary to Toudou.
His crimson eyes were focused on the liquid pouring from Kaoru's neck and his white hair seemed like risen on his head in excitement. He was in pain and yet, he made no move towards Kaoru. I could respect that but unfortunately, I had to play the devil's advocate on that one.
« Go, Toudou. » I said and he shivered, crawling with hesitant little steps.
He joined Kaoru who was looking completely terrified and approached his lips from the already sealed wound. Male demons really were healing faster than females. I turned my gaze away, my desire to be there in Kaoru's neck instead of Toudou growing bigger in me, especially since he looked that much like my wife and had the same scent, the same delicious taste. I passed my tongue on my lips, saliva invading my mouth in anticipation and I shook my head.
Calm down, Hajime...
I heard Toudou lick the blood off and the metallic sound of the tanto getting unsheathed again, making another wound. I could hear Toudou's sucking and his déglutition, his adam apple moving up and down while swallowing the lifesaving liquid. How I wished I could be in his place...
« Saito ! » said Kaoru and I turned back my eyes on them.
I came closer and caught Toudou's shoulders to get him away from Kaoru and encountered no resistance. I expected him to clench at his food, especially after so much privations but he didn't. He let me pull him back and in seiza, he bowed to Kaoru, his palm and nose against the floor.
« Thank you, Nagumo Kaoru. » he said « That will not be forgotten. »
He stood up and seemed perfectly well without any trace of madness and want.
« Toudou... » I whispered more for myself than for him « you are so much stronger than I am... »
