Hi gang and welcome to chapter 10! The stay at the Dursleys had been wrapped up into one chapter for about a week now but then I noticed that a lot of you were looking forward to reading about some fun/ embarrassing situations at the house. So, I made some changes. I split the original chapter in two and added some extra scenes in between. I hope you'll like what I came up with! Enjoy!


Chapter 10

Snape and Harry sat down at the kitchen table while Petunia was baking some eggs. Dudley had already sat down and visibly blanched when Harry arrived downstairs. But if Harry thought about it, his cousin was probably more afraid of the tall, dark man sitting down next to Harry, his every movement deliberate and smooth.

Petunia didn't say a word, though Harry was sure that she realised they were there from the way she tensed up. Harry sighed. It's not as if he wasn't used to being ignored but it still stung. Dudley, on the other hand, didn't seem as blatantly appalled by Harry's presence as he usually was. Harry leaned back and regarded his cousin carefully.

He had lost a bit of weight. Not much, mind you, but enough to be somewhat noticeable. They had probably fed him normal portions at the hospital. Here and there, his skin was still splotchy with brown spots. But they weren't too noticeable and could easily be hidden with a long-sleeved shirt. And even if a muggle saw them, they wouldn't suspect anything too strange going on. The couple of twigs that seemed to sprout from within his hair were a bit more odd, though, and could probably not be explained. They were the main reason that Dudley still had to stay inside. Harry felt a bit torn between feeling amused and guilty. Amusement ultimately won, though.

"What are you smirking about?" Petunia spat angrily as she turned around with two plates in her hands. One was overflowing quite royally with eggs and bacon while the other one carried a very modest portion. She set them before Dudley and herself, ignoring Snape and Harry quite resolutely.

Dudley's gaze shifted from his mother to Snape and Harry. He picked up his fork but didn't start eating, as if he wasn't sure what to do.

"See?" Harry told Snape. "I told you she wouldn't have anything prepared for us."

"Are you quite certain?" Snape asked. "The portion on your cousin's plate is enough to easily feed three people."

"You can find and cook your own food," Petunia snarled. "Feeding you was not part of the deal."

"Nor was leaving your husband intact," Snape replied easily. He grabbed the plate Dudley still hadn't touched and slid it in front of Harry. He then deftly snatched the fork from Dudley's hand and handed it to Harry as well. "You don't seem to realise that your husband could end up in Azkaban. Surely, you haven't forgotten what dementors are, have you?"

What just happened?

Harry sat there completely stunned as he eyed the nauseatingly large pile of food that was now waiting for him to tuck in. He glanced at Dudley who seemed to be equally stunned, his hand still clasping the air where his fork used to be. He looked at Harry but without malice or contempt. There was only genuine confusion.

Petunia, on the other hand, turned a very bright red. One Harry usually only saw on Vernon. But her anger was not directed at him.

"You dare!" she exclaimed, pointing a bony finger at Snape who casually leaned his chin on his hand. "You dare steal the food out of my son's mouth to feed that… that freak!"

"Your son hardly needs more fattening up," Snape replied. "Besides, he might very well still be using photosynthesis to feed himself."

Harry snorted and quickly took a bite to hide his mirth.

"You fiend," Petunia snarled. "Hasn't your ilk done enough to damage my family yet? Wasn't it enough for you to take Lily? Now that freak son of hers almost murdered mine and I'm still expected to take care of him."

Harry glanced at Snape whose mood seemed to have grown a lot darker all of a sudden. Before the man could speak, Harry thought to defuse the situation.

"I'm very sorry about what happened, Aunt Petunia," he told her, ignoring the loud growl coming from Snape's throat behind him. "I'm sure Dudley was never in any real danger but it can't have been fun for him."

Petunia scoffed. "Don't apologise as if you didn't mean to hurt poor Dudders!" she screeched.

"Mum," Dudley said lowly but he was ignored.

"You turned him into a tree, you did! How could you ever have thought that appropriate?!"

"Mum," Dudley said a bit louder this time but he was still ignored. Not even Snape seemed to hear him. Harry glanced at his cousin but quickly focused his attention back on Petunia when she kept on screeching.

"You and your freakish powers have taken my sister away from me, you horrid boy!"

"Mum."

"And now you almost took my son away from me as well! Vernon was turned into a toad for hours! You blew up Aunt Marge! What more do you want to take from me?!"

"Mum!"

This time, Dudley had shouted, completely drowning out his mother's horrid screeching that had Snape fuming horribly. It was a miracle that the man hadn't said anything yet. Harry felt very deflated, suddenly aware of how much magic had caused Petunia to suffer. And Harry was the cause of every one of those horrible experiences of her. It was no wonder she hated him. Dudley's loud voice had brought him out of his reveries, though.

"Mum, stop this," he said. "Harry didn't almost kill me. I was the one who –" he shot a glance at Harry and he almost imagined that there was some sort of apology in those eyes. "I attacked him," Dudley concluded. "Harry was just trying to defend himself, I think. It was not his fault."

Not my fault?

"Dudley, that can't be right," Petunia said softly, fixing Harry with a menacing glare. That freak boy changed your memory. He's making you think that you're some sort of delinquent. But you're not. You're my perfect little boy.

"God mum, wake up and smell the roses, would you?" Dudley said harshly. Absentmindedly, Harry took another bite of bacon as he took in the scene with wide eyes. Was Dudley actually defending him? What was happening?

"I attacked him with a knife. He turned me into a tree. End of story."

"But –"

"Tuney," Snape finally interjected, sounding as if one wrong word might just set him off. And his magic would not be accidental. "Your son is confessing to what I believe to be quite a serious transgression. If you don't stop harassing Mr Potter right this instant, our deal is off and we shall both take our leave."

"You can't do that," Petunia argued. "Dudley still looks like –"

"Then stop that incessant screeching of yours, and provide everyone who currently resides under your roof with adequate provisions," Snape told her.

"You can't be serious!" Petunia exclaimed.

"Honestly, Petunia," Snape growled. "Have you ever known me not to be? You would do well to heed my words. And don't forget. If you no longer serve your purpose, there is no need to hold off the Aurors."

Petunia blanched and Harry wondered about her recognition of the word Aurors. Come to think of it, she seemed to understand what dementors were as well. And the way Snape talked… Did she know about the wards as well?

"I'm just going to ask it," Harry then said out loud, sliding the still very full plate away from him. But he had eaten his fill and couldn't possibly stomach another bite. "How do you two know each other?"

"That is none of your concern," bit Snape at the same time that Petunia snarled, "None of your business."

Harry unintentionally met Dudley's gaze who just shrugged. Feeling comfortable that neither Snape nor Petunia would harm him at the moment, he ventured forth.

"You didn't used to date or something, did you?"

Both Snape and Petunia's expression turned so fiercely angry at that question, that Harry unconsciously shrunk a bit in his seat.

Wrong question!

"You insolent boy!" Petunia yelled, raising her hand to slap Harry in the face. But Snape was quicker. He grabbed her hand, mid-movement as he rose from his seat, the chair clattering loudly to the floor. For a moment, everyone seemed to freeze. Snape and Petunia were staring each other down. Snape was still holding her wrist rather firmly. Her fingers were drawn back in a claw-like position that would have likely left nasty scratches on Harry's face. Meanwhile, Dudley was still sitting in his chair. He didn't move a muscle as if afraid to set off Snape but his eyes were taking in the scene frantically.

Harry swallowed thickly, not eager to be the first to move but Snape was standing very close to him from stopping Petunia and his aunt wasn't that much farther away. It was decidedly uncomfortable. So much so, that he couldn't stop himself. He started laughing.

Three incredulous gazes slowly shifted his way as if ascertaining if Harry had finally gone bonkers.

I just might have.

"Does something amuse you, Mr Potter?" Snape asked, the first to dare address him.

Harry reduced his laughter into snickering and wiped a few tears from his eyes. "No, not really," he managed to choke out between gasps. "It's just ridiculous. So ridiculous!"

Snape stared him down for a moment more before addressing Petunia. "Sit down," he snapped at her. "And if you so much as raise another hand at the boy, you will find yourself on the receiving end of one of the more unpleasant curses in my repertoire."

The angry fire in Petunia's eyes died down somewhat. She wrenched her wrist from Snape's grasp and sat back down. "I hate you," she muttered softly.

"The feeling is entirely mutual," Snape said coolly before returning to his own seat. He then accio'd another fork from the kitchen drawers and helped himself to about half of what was left on the plate that had been meant for Dudley. Harry was amazed that his cousin hadn't protested about that yet, but figured that he was just scared of Snape. Anyone with half a brain would be scared of the Potions Master, after all.

Ten minutes later, he all but tossed the remainder of Dudley's portion in his direction. "If your mother manages to provide us each with our own portion this evening, you won't have to suffer through another cold meal," he said evenly, then got up from his seat and motioned for Harry to do the same.

"Show me to the guest room, Mr Potter," Snape ordered. Harry scrambled to obey as fast as he could. He was more than happy to remove himself from the decidedly uncomfortable atmosphere that hovered in the Dursley's kitchen, even if it meant being alone with Snape. Petunia made an ugly noise when Snape mentioned the guest bedroom but didn't comment.

Time passed by slowly at the Dursleys. When Vernon had first laid eyes upon Snape he had, opposed to what Harry had anticipated, yelped and run off to hide from the man. He probably still remembered his unfortunate transformation courtesy of Snape. Harry would have found that funny, had he not felt guilty remembering Petunia's words.

At least Vernon had dared make an appearance at dinner. He kept his head down and hardly spoke. Petunia had made enough for Harry and Snape to join in as well that night. When the portion on Harry's plate left much to be desired, Snape added some extra scoops of potatoes and vegetables, daring either Petunia or Vernon to say something. For some reason, he had glared at Harry as well but he just shrugged it off.

Harry's favourite moment was when Snape asked Vernon to pass the salt, causing the man to yelp indignantly and fall off his chair before scrambling back to his feet and carefully handing Snape the salt shaker.

A close second was when Vernon was sending Harry murderous glares when he thought Snape wasn't looking and the Potions Master casually mentioned how he had an urgent need to replenish his stock with toad legs. Vernon had blanched and not looked at Harry even one more time.

It quickly became quite annoying not being let out of Snape's sight but Harry supposed he understood. With the state Snape had found him in not too long ago, he was sure that the man might worry that Vernon could kill him next time. Harry shuddered as he thought what they would have done to him if Snape wasn't there now that they found out about Dudley. Death would have been the least of his problems.

Snape was adamant about helping Harry with his summer homework. Harry thought this had more to do with the fact that he was quite bored himself rather than concern for Harry's grades but Harry wished the man would find another pastime. He was, after all, very strict. Harry supposed he could've expected as much for his potions essay but Snape expected the same ridiculous standard for everyone else's subject. Even divination! For Harry this meant writing, correcting and rewriting all of his essays several times. For once, he had the time to do so. After all, Snape would not allow the Dursleys to have him do any more chores.

"While I believe it healthy for a child to be assigned the occasional chore, I feel that you have depleted the amount you may ethically request for several lifetimes," he had said, not allowing Petunia any say in the matter. "If you must, you may always assign some tasks to that whale of a boy you call your son."

But Petunia hadn't done that. She had simply done everything herself from there on out, but not without openly glaring at Harry and Snape as they sat at the kitchen table, working on Harry's homework.

Dudley had been a big surprise. At first, he seemed very reluctant to approach Harry at all but after a couple of days, he had started making himself a sandwich while Harry was scribbling away to finish the conclusion of his defence essay and had promptly asked him if he or Snape wanted one as well.

Harry's mouth fell open, his quill dripping ink all over his parchment. "Wait, what?" he finally stammered.

Dudley smiled crookedly, as if nervous but still trying to make an effort. "I asked if you wanted a sandwich as well," he repeated. "There's still cheese and salami if you want."

"Er, no thank you, Dudley," Harry replied. "I'm not hungry." He had, after all, eaten two hours ago. Snape simply shook his head. He lazily waved his wand to get rid of the ink blotches now marring Harry's otherwise neat essay.

"So, what are you doing?" Dudley asked. He took his plate of sandwiches to the table and sat down in front of Harry, looking at the books surrounding him with curiosity. Harry thought that strange. His cousin had never liked books before.

Polyjuice. I see polyjuice everywhere! Do people really change so easily?

"Homework," Harry replied curtly, eyeing Dudley suspiciously.

"That's a lot of homework," Dudley replied. "Your teachers must be tough."

Harry glanced at Snape and snorted. "You can say that again," he said. "Wait, don't you have any summer assignments?"

"Nah," Dudley replied, taking the first bite from his sandwich which took off nearly half of it in one go. "When school is out it's out, the teachers say."

"Are they not familiar with the concept that children forget a large amount of what they learned over the summer when not properly challenged?" Snape asked.

Dudley blinked. "Er… I guess not," he then said.

"Preposterous," Snape scoffed.

"Wait a moment," Dudley then said, his eyes wide. "Bogarts are real?!" His eyes fell on the illustration of a tree hollow with eerie eyes looming in the dark. Underneath it 'bogart' was written in an aesthetically pleasing script.

"They are," Harry explained. "But don't worry. You're not likely to see one."

"I wouldn't say that if I were you, Mr Potter," Snape said as he browsed through Harry's potion book, scoffing at the dog-eared pages he encountered. "With a magical relative such as yourself, it wouldn't be all that strange for your cousin to encounter some of our creatures."

Dudley had stiffened but Harry rolled his eyes. He wanted to say something to put Dudley more at ease when he was suddenly reminded of what a horrid person the boy could be. And no, people didn't just change overnight. Urging himself to be more cautious, Harry shrugged and continued writing his conclusion.

Dudley sat in silence, watching Harry work while he wolfed down his sandwiches. When Harry finally finished and passed his scroll to Snape to have him reread the thing and probably taint the entire essay with red ink, Dudley spoke again.

"Did you know you're famous?" he asked Harry.

Harry groaned. "Dudley, please don't," he pleaded. Snape gave him a very curious look but didn't add to the conversation.

"Yeah, when I told them who it was that, well, changed me, they asked me all sorts of questions."

Harry's breath got caught in his throat. "What did you tell them?" he asked nervously. If Dudley had been stupid enough to tell everyone about him sleeping in a cupboard and getting bested by your everyday muggles, he wasn't sure he'd be able to live it down. His face had been in the papers enough as it was. He did not want his personal life exposed all over the front page.

"I couldn't really answer most of them," Dudley said sheepishly. "The question they wanted answered most was what you can still remember from, well, that night."

"And what did you say?" Harry asked, scared of the answer.

"I said that you have nightmares sometimes," Dudley replied, looking embarrassed. "But that I don't really know."

Harry frowned. He didn't like the general populace knowing that he had nightmares but it wouldn't really come as a shock to most. It could be worse.

"What else?" Harry asked urgently.

"Nothing too interesting, I think," Dudley said. "Favourite subject, colour, best friend, rival, and a lot of questions about what kind of partner you would be interested in."

Harry groaned again while Snape seemed to hide a smirk behind Harry's essay.

"And what did you say to that?" Harry asked, feeling murderous already.

Dudley blushed like mad. "I er… I couldn't say anything," he said sheepishly. "I guess I don't know you at all, really. So I just told them that you wouldn't want me to talk about you like that."

Harry chuckled. "Well, at least you got that right about me."

"Yeah, so er…" Dudley seemed entirely uncomfortable. "What is your favourite colour?"

"Green," Harry said without hesitation. He frowned at Snape when the man snorted. "What?" he asked. "Not only Slytherins are allowed to like green, you know. I bet Malfoy secretly likes red."

"I highly doubt it," Snape replied evenly. "But gold might be an option."

"Dudley!" Harry looked up when Petunia appeared in the doorway, a dishcloth and plate in her hands. "What are you doing? Get away from them!"

"It's okay, mum," Dudley said. "We're just talking."

"Don't argue with me," Petunia said sternly. "Get over here this moment or so help me, I'll be donating half of your things to charity."

Dudley's eyes widened for an instant before he glanced at Harry apologetically and got up. He left his now empty plate on the table and walked over to his mother who seemed desperate to not get within three feet of the two wizards. Once Dudley walked into her range, she grabbed his flabby arm and shoved him out of the kitchen. With one last malicious glare at Harry she exited the kitchen, slamming the door behind her.

"Pleasant as always," Snape growled.

"You know," Harry said. "It's really not fair to expect me to stay silent about your obvious link to my aunt while you keep implying it."

Snape huffed. "Duly noted. Your essay is satisfactory, by the way." He handed Harry his essay back, not a single red mark on it.

"Thank you, sir," he said, rolling up the parchment and tying it up with a ribbon.

"Get started on your potions essay next," Snape told him. "You obviously wish to leave it for last but I won't stand for it. I imagine you'll need to rewrite it at least a dozen times before I deem it satisfactory."

Harry groaned but grabbed his potions book from where Snape had put it and unfurled a fresh sheet of parchment. He wrote the title 'Seven ways to determine a plant's innate properties' and opened the book.

I bet 'asking Hermione' is not a valid way.


Snape's constant hovering was very annoying for Harry. But what irked him the most were the times when Snape didn't have eyes on all the Dursleys and insisted on waiting for Harry outside of the bathroom. So much so that at one point, Harry seriously considered escaping from the small window that connected to the front yard.

After contemplating glorious escape for a few minutes, a harsh pounding on the door reminded him of Snape's close proximity. "I don't have all day, Potter!" came Snape's muffled voice.

"So go away, already!" Harry retorted. "You know I can't… go when someone's listening."

"Simply pretend that I'm not," Snape told him casually.

"Oh yeah, that's really helpful," Harry muttered under his breath.

"I heard that, Potter," Snape said. "Stop muttering to yourself and get on with it."

Stupid bat hearing.

Harry groaned and decided that enough was enough. Being safe from his relatives was dandy and all but at that point, he thought he'd rather take the risk than go through even one more mortifying minute with Snape. He unlatched the window and opened it. Then, to avoid Snape's acute hearing, he turned on the faucet and allowed the water to run in the sink.

"Almost done!" he shouted for good measure. He knew very well that Snape was likely to kill him after he found out but he would do anything for a bit of freedom now. There came no reply but Harry imagined the man grunting as he leaned against the wall.

The window was very small and Harry had to wiggle like a worm as he squirmed out of the compact, square opening.

Dudley wouldn't be able to pull this off. Ever.

He climbed backwards out of the window, his feet finding purchase on the intricate wooden frame that was supposed to support Petunia's roses. Carefully, he climbed down and exhaled a sigh of relief when his feet finally touched the ground.

"Out for a stroll, Mr Potter?"

Harry nearly jumped out of his skin. Slowly, as to not have to accept cruel reality just yet, he turned his head only to find the Potions Master standing right behind him.

"Oh," he said. It was all he could manage to say.

"Were you confused as to what was the exit of the bathroom, perhaps?" Snape asked. "I'll make sure to remedy that next time by leaving the door open."

"You wouldn't!" Harry shouted, taking a step back so he wasn't in such close proximity to his professor anymore.

"I would if I deemed it necessary, Potter," Snape snarled. "You clearly wish to evade my continuous efforts to keep you safe. It's a pity that I don't go back on my word or I would take this little escapade of yours as an appropriate reason to simply go back home."

"So go!" Harry shouted. "I release you from your promise, alright?"

What am I saying?!

"I'm sure I'll be fine without you. I always have been before."

"Absolutely not, Potter," Snape drawled. "My promise was not only made to you."

What the hell does that mean?

"I don't want you standing guard near the bathroom door," Harry said sullenly. "It makes me feel like a prisoner in my own…"

Home?

"Surely, you understand why I must," Snape said. "I don't trust those Dursleys. And I don't like the way your uncle looks at you."

Harry snorted. "You mean like he would like to drown me in the bathtub?"

Snape looked at him strangely. "Are you implying…"

"Forget it," Harry dismissed urgently. "Look. I can go to the bathroom by myself. The door locks from the inside, you know? And the Dursleys can't exactly spell the door open."

"Perhaps not," Snape replied. "But your uncle could probably break the door down simply by leaning into it."

Harry sighed. "He wouldn't break down the house just to get to me," he said. "And if he tried, I'm sure you would hear the noise before he succeeded and you could save the day again."

Snape shook his head. "Are you accusing me of being some kind of benevolent saviour, Mr Potter?" he asked. He started walking out of the front yard and motioned with his head for Harry to follow him.

"Well," Harry said, lengthening the word. "If you think about it, you do keep saving me. Though calling you benevolent might be a bit of a stretch."

"I assure you that the only reason I come to your rescue so often is that you manage to endanger yourself all the time," Snape said coldly. "And since I'm your teacher, I have little choice but to come to your aid."

"Ah, it's all part of the job, is it?" Harry retorted. "Maybe next time you can send Flitwick instead. Or better yet, McGonagall. She is my head of house, after all."

"Professors and rescue mission aside, I will agree to try out your usage of the facilities your way," Snape then said. "But if you try to escape again, I will tie you to your bed and make sure that you don't have to relieve yourself anymore for the duration of our stay."

Harry frowned. "How does that work?"

Snape smirked maliciously. "There are certain… spells for that," he said dangerously.

Why does he sound like he would enjoy that very much?

"Yeah, no," Harry said. "I'll just… behave."

Snape nodded curtly. "Inside, Potter," he said as he opened the door for his student. "And if you have no use for it, remove that toilet paper from your shoe."

Harry flushed when he noticed the long, white strand of paper on his right trainer and quickly tore it off, balling it up as if to hide it even though Snape had long since seen it. When he walked into the house, he could've sworn he heard a deep chuckle behind him.


The Dursleys still didn't like it when Harry was delivered his post via owl. It was one of the main reasons Harry hadn't taken Hedwig with him this year. He couldn't even count the number of times Vernon had threatened to snap her neck and he honestly didn't want to take a chance with the man.

Snape received his Daily Prophet, as the name would suggest, every day; dutifully paying the owl the knuts it required and feeding it a strip of bacon or bread from his plate. Petunia absolutely hated the practice and had shrieked at Snape at the top of her lungs when it happened the first time.

"If I don't feed it something, it might decide not to leave until I do," Snape had told her. "In fact, that mess on your head that you call hair might make an excellent nest for it, don't you think?"

Petunia had sputtered and pursed her lips but hadn't made any more comments. But every plate that had been in the vicinity of an owl got washed twice. Dudley, oddly enough, seemed to be used to owls flying about. It made Harry wonder just how many magical things his cousin had witnessed on a daily basis.

Maybe he doesn't think I'm a freak anymore.

But even Dudley was completely shocked when Snape got a message from Dumbledore during dinner because that happened, as always, in style.

Somewhere between the soup and the roast beef, a great ball of fire seemingly appeared out of nowhere above the table, as if it were an absurdly bright and flashy chandelier. Petunia had started screaming and tossed her glass of wine at it while Vernon, after throwing a withering look Harry's way, moved to take the safety blanket from the kitchen. Dudley had cowered underneath the kitchen table, but not before grabbing a piece of bread to take with him.

No sooner did Vernon open the kitchen drawer when the ball of fire extinguished itself to reveal Fawkes in all his glory. Snape sat there looking completely unimpressed as he gingerly cut his meat into smaller pieces and speared one of the pieces with his fork. Harry, while he knew Fawkes, was not used to the phoenix barging in out of nowhere and sat there with mouth agape in wonder.

"Wow," he breathed.

Snape glared at him. "Don't encourage this behaviour," he snarled. "Honestly, a post owl would have sufficed but Albus Dumbledore just had to teach a phoenix to deliver his mail." He shook his head and bit into a piece of cauliflower.

"What is that monster?!" Petunia screeched while Fawkes flew over to Snape and landed on his shoulder, gently tugging at a strand of his hair.

"It's not a monster," Harry said. "It's a phoenix."

"Awesome!" Dudley exclaimed, raising his head just enough to look at the fiery red bird who sat quite contently where he had landed.

"Get it out of here before it burns the house down!" Vernon yelled fiercely but when Snape glared at him dangerously, he lost his bravado. "I mean, when it's convenient for you, of course."

"Honestly, Vernon!" Petunia hollered at her husband. "Get that beast out of here! It's just a bird!"

"Well then, you get it out if it's just a bird," Vernon muttered.

Snape ignored their bickering and wiped his mouth on a napkin before accepting Dumbledore's letter from Fawkes' sharp talons. Fawkes trilled gently before he started to preen his feathers.

"Hi Fawkes," Harry said while Snape unfolded and read the letter. "I haven't seen you in a while. How have you been?"

Fawkes trilled happily at Harry and hopped down Snape's arm and onto the table.

"Get it off!" Petunia yelled. She grabbed a frying pan and was about to smack Fawkes with it when Snape flicked his wrist, never taking his eyes off the letter, and hit Petunia with a silent stunner.

Bloody hell! Wandless and non-verbal!

Fawkes clicked his beak in dismay and Harry could almost see a sort of annoyance in the intelligent animal's eyes.

Vernon was cowering in a corner by then. "Please," he pleaded. "Don't turn me into anything else. The bird can stay as long as it wants. I swear!"

"Silence, Dursley," Snape commanded. "I'm trying to read." Vernon didn't say another word and Harry couldn't help but stare at the overgrown man now cowering on the floor next to Petunia. He absentmindedly stroked Fawkes while the phoenix helped himself to some of Harry's roast.

I never realised just how… weak he can be. I can't believe that's the man who… ugh.

Snape sighed and grabbed a pen that lay on the kitchen counter behind him. He turned over the letter and scribbled something in reply in a neat but hasty scrawl.

"Fawkes," he said. The phoenix hopped over to him and accepted the letter. With one last melodic trill, he enveloped himself into another ball of fire and then he was gone.

'What did he want?" Harry asked casually as he speared a potato.

"Hogwarts business," Snape replied. He grabbed the bottle of wine and refilled his own glass. "None of your concern, in any case."

Harry glanced over to his aunt who still lay stunned on the floor with next to her a frantic-looking Vernon who still didn't speak.

"Er, sir?" Harry said. "Shouldn't you… you know?"

Snape looked up and glanced at Petunia. "Oh, right," he said. "I completely forgot."

Like hell you did.

Snape flicked his wrist again and Petunia woke from her magically induced incapacitation.

"The roast is really quite succulent today," Snape told Harry. "Would you give me the recipe, Tuney?"

Petunia cried out in indignation and stomped out of the kitchen. Harry was unable to suppress his laughter.

Snape shrugged. "Family secret, I suppose," he said and continued eating as if nothing was amiss.


Did you all enjoy it? I sure thought it was a lot of fun. There's to be more fun planned for Tuesday but by the end of it, the Dursley stay will end. I hope you'll look forward to it! And please do leave me with a review.