Ok so there is no excuse.. none. I truly didn't realize how long since my last update. I've been inundated by life and time seemed to be neverendingly busy. Here is the latest installment. I aim to finish this before summer begins. Thank you to all who have read and are fans. My sincerest apologies.

Shout out to my rock marsupial1974 who kicked my arse in gear re my update.

It's not the longest chapter but it's a step forward.

Cheers


She could feel the thumping of the music, the people. Sweat poured down her body as she danced. Her eyes were mostly shut. She didn't care who was close and who wasn't. She didn't want to feel anything. Not tonight.

..

The therapist was sitting across from Emily, watching her. The younger woman had been quiet since she'd arrived. She'd said the barest minimum in terms of small talk about the most recent events in her life. But for the last seven minutes, she'd been staring out the window.

"Emily... Emily."

"Yes?" She still hadn't looked away from the window.

"You're quiet. Therapy is a dialogue. Doesn't do much good if you don't talk. What is it you're thinking?"

"Taking it all in. Nothing is ever simple is it?"

"That depends. What is it you think isn't simple?"

"Me... getting on with my life." She touched the glass and wondered how much pressure it would take for it to shatter against her palm. How much pressure could she still take?

"I think you're doing marvelously all things considered."

"All things considered... that's a laugh..." She turned and looked at the therapist. "The one person who's been constant in my life told me he'd walk out on me if I didn't hear him out." She waited for the therapist to say anything but there was barely a blink. "He said... he apologized... He said he was sorry for..." Emily shook her head.

..

Effy bolted from the bedroom at the commotion. She came to a stop as Cook landed on his arse. "You fuckin bastard." Naomi was standing over him clutching her side. While she was worlds better than expected, she was still healing and she took it for granted when she lashed out at Cook.

"Naomi." It wasn't quite a yell but it was imperative in tone. Effy took two steps towards the fuming blonde as James Fitch appeared out of nowhere and stepped in front of Naomi. He was already sputtering.

"I'm sorry Effy... I didn't realize what would happen. I tried stopping her but she'd bloody fast." He held his hands up hoping the blonde wouldn't take another swipe at him. She'd aimed for him at his and Emily's flat but he was thankfully more agile that Cook and his walker.

"Naomi." It was gentler as Effy approached and knelt by Cook who wasn't saying anything. He merely stared at the woman who'd barreled in when he'd answered the door.

"She's gone... you know that?" She rubbed at her side, pretending the ache in her voice was a muscular strain and nothing more. But she wasn't fooling anyone. "She's been gone all night." James turned his head and met Effy's eyes then nodded.

"She needs time Naomi. That's all." She was helping Cook up as James continued to block the blonde's movements.

"Why the fuck... what did you say to her? Why couldn't you let it alone?"

"Wasn't my idea." Cook grumbled as he grabbed hold of the back of the sofa. He shook Effy off as she sighed. He made his way slowly and sat down.

"No. It wasn't." Effy confirmed it. "But it was long overdue." She kept her eyes on Naomi but knew Cook was now staring at his feet. "Wasn't it Cook?" He shrugged.

"Look if you have to blame anyone..." James tried to intercede and missed the cue. Naomi swings at him and connected with his chin. It elicited a groan from him and a hiss from her.

"Yes. Let's resort to violence." Effy grabbed hold of Naomi and walked her to the opposite seating chair from Cook. "Do we need to get you anger management?"

"Fuck off Effy... really." She didn't want to hear it. Her heart had been in her throat since she'd stopped by Emily's to see why no texts had been read or replied to.

"James get ice all around would you? There are dishcloths in a drawer." She dismissed the younger Fitch. While he'd initiated the entire thing with his conversation the other night, this wasn't really his battle. He went to speak and thought better of it. A pair of cold eyes glaring will have that effect. Once he was in the kitchen, Effy started in on the two before her. "Look... you may not like what Cook did but you can't say it wasn't the right thing." Naomi went to reply and Effy held her hand up. "No. This isn't a debate. You aren't going to barge in here and throw your weight around because you're pissed that your girlfriend didn't send out a call for your help."

"That's not..."

"Don't. Remember how well we know each other. You and that fucking white horse need to take a step back. Emily had a shock to her system. Cook delivered it. But it wasn't wrong. Maybe you may not like the timing. Maybe Emily wasn't completely prepared. But it wasn't wrong." James walked in and handed a bundle of ice to Cook then gave one to Effy. He was afraid of getting too close to Naomi. Effy had no qualms and went to her. "Emily is an adult. We talked about this... about her having to deal with things..." She pressed it into her hand then touched her face. She could see the fear and knew the anger displayed was nothing but a defense.

"But..."

"No buts. She'll be ok Naoms." Effy knew she wasn't all-knowing but she was hedging her bets on Emily's survival thus far and her own hope.

..

"You don't think he should apologize?" Emily shrugged. She didn't know what to think. When Cook insisted on it, it felt like he was taking a sledgehammer to the foundation she was so desperately clinging to. "Emily."

"What?" She heard the annoyance and anger in her own voice.

"Do you think he should apologize?"

"I.. I don't know... I really don't. I mean... what happened... we were in it together, weren't we? It was us against..." She bit her lip. Everything was tainted. The colors were off. She'd been going through some of her memories and they all seemed different now. "If he apologizes, then... that means he was wrong... that he was..." She swallowed. "That he hurt me." She whispered it and felt the air leave her lungs.

..

Naomi and Cook sat in the living room not looking at each other. They nursed their respective aching body parts but neither spoke nor acknowledged the other. Effy had gone to the kitchen and gotten on her tablet. James had tried to sit with the two mutes but decided he was better suited elsewhere. So he went to the kitchen. It wasn't that he needed to talk. Yes, he was worried about his sister but understood that what she was feeling was akin to walking through fire by herself, needing to come out the other side on her own two feet.

He watched the brunette tapping away then took a seat opposite her. She stopped tapping and looked up. James shook his head and shrugged. She went back to what she had been doing. When she let out a sigh of relief, he spoke.

"What?"

"She's ok."

"She answered you?" His eyes shone with his own relief but Effy shook her head.

"No. I put software on her phone."

"You..."

"Save it. We all care in our own way. And I wanted to make sure... make sure she didn't end up in the wrong place." She turned the tablet to James. "She's at her therapist's."

..

The therapist stayed silent. She was giving Emily time to digest what she was saying, thinking. She knew this was a turning point. The emotions were palpable. She could see Emily struggling with fear, anger, sadness. And despair. She had wanted to believe everything would turn out for the best. That everything would be great now that the terror in her life was almost nonexistent. From the beginning, the doctor knew there would have to be a reckoning of sorts. There was too much inflicted on Emily. Too much loss over her lifetime.

This last knock – her trusted anchor pushing her to accept the stark truth. A few minutes longer stretching into the abyss. Emily closes her eyes a moment then opens them. A weariness washes down her body. The therapist can literally see it as it travels through each muscle group until Emily can no longer remain standing and takes the chair across from the doctor.

"He hurt me. Not like... Not like my sister... or her boyf... or him... but Cookie... he..." She took a shuddered breath and put her hands on her face. A sob escaped her. Memories flooding her. "It wasn't all bad. It couldn't have been. He was there. He helped. He cared." The tears filtered through her fingers. Her voice was husky and raw as if the air was scraping against her vocal cords. "I know he cared. He..."

"Emily... just because he cared doesn't mean he didn't cause damage." Dr. Thorne knew she was pushing things further by using that word but she wasn't using it lightly. She had a good grasp of the things Emily had been forced to do. Either by force or by duress, she had been used and abused. There was no getting around that. It was up to Emily herself to face that. She had been talking about her sister, the boyfriend all of this time but she had been ignoring something that had kept her in a cage as much as they had.

"He never left me... he stayed." She was trying to reconcile everything but his words the other night were coloring the thoughts. He was a driving force in keeping her settled, keeping her hopeful. Was that wrong? Would it have been better if she had been hopeless? Adrift? How many times did he encourage she not cause trouble? How many times did he ask her to do what was expected? He did that to help, to make sure I didn't get hurt worse. She gasped at the words in her head. She recalled their conversation when he moved into her room, how she felt then. All of the emotions she'd set aside then. She closed her eyes again. "It's true, isn't it? He did hurt me. Even if... even if it wasn't..." She shook her head. "No... he's not like Katie. He's not like... no." She opened her red eyes and stared at her doctor.

"He may not have exhibited malice, Emily. But yes. His actions hurt you. Sometimes deliberately."

..

Both Naomi and Cook had fallen asleep in their respective seats. Effy rolled her eyes knowing both would suffer aches and pains like that. She touched Cook's shoulder and gently ushered him to the bedroom with James's help. He was refusing to use the walker and being stubborn. He wasn't out of therapy, wouldn't be for a while yet. He'd been able to put solid weight on his feet a couple of weeks now but everything was healing. His knee was looking better but even that was tender. She walked to Naomi and ran a hand through the blonde hair. She stirred.

"Effs?" She blinked and looked around. "Is she back?" Effy shook her head. "We need..."

"No." It was soft. "She needs time... space Naoms. I'm not kidding. You need to let her be. She will return."

"How do you figure?" Naomi was subdued in her body language. The fear truly painted on her skin.

"Cause this is home. We are home. She is working it out. Let her." Naomi nodded and went to stand.

"I'll go then... go home and... wait."

"No. Just stay here... on the pullout." She didn't add that she could keep watch on both Naomi and Cook this way. "James will head to their flat and will let us know when she turns up." He'd emerged from the bedroom in time to hear that last bit and nodded. Neither mentioned the gps stunt Effy pulled earlier. It was a silent understanding and she respected the lad a little more then. He'd avoided so much by not being under his sisters' watch. Naomi agreed to the plan and she lay down. She was out in moments.

..

Emily had woken up alone, slightly disoriented. She recalled the afternoon and took her phone out of her pocket. She was going to phone her brother, let him know she was ok. She saw the missed calls, the texts. She sighed and turned the phone back off. She didn't know what to do, where to go. She didn't want to go back home. She didn't want to talk to anyone. She pulled herself together and decided to go with her gut. She turned the phone on again and sent off a text. While waiting for a reply, she called up a rideshare and left the doctor's office while the receptionist was away from her desk. She supposed she could tell someone she was leaving but didn't. By the time her ride showed up, she'd had a response. She read off the address and buckled herself in.

Dr. Thorne had pushed back her next appointment to allow Emily time. This had been a huge chasm to traverse. She'd gotten her a tea and had her lay down in an empty office. She knew how exhausting such self-realizations could be, how heartbreaking it was. She made notes and added to a timeline of events. She checked on Emily to find her sound asleep. After a moment, she asked the receptionist to make sure no one used that office and took her next patient. It was a couple of hours later when she looked in on Emily to find her gone. She nodded to herself and debated calling the listed emergency contact. In the end, she didn't as her patient did not appear to be harmful to herself or others.

..

"I should head out." James said but he didn't move. He was standing against the kitchen counter. His eyes locked on Effy who was deep in thought and occasionally clicking on the tablet. The silence dragged on and he sighed. She finally looked up.

"Do you need permission? Yes, you should head out. You don't know when she'll be back. And if you're there, she'll find it harder to rabbit again... possibly."

"All confidence there..." He smiled and she gave him a look that would have caused Cook to shrivel into himself. James didn't. He simply kept looking at her.

"You need to go." She was sterner and he took the hint. He let out another sigh and set off for the flat. Before he walked out, he turned and looked at Effy again.

"You worry twice as much as they do. Don't deny it. You simply hide it better." He turned on his heel and left. He missed a once in a lifetime event. Effy Stonem was speechless.

..

The car pulled to an address she knew well. She took a breath and stepped out into the evening air. After riding the elevator to the right floor, she stopped herself from knocking on the door. She was tired and trying to sort out the mess in her head, her heart. She knew this wasn't likely to be smart or even expected but she needed something and she didn't know who to reach out to. She now didn't trust Cook and she didn't want to talk to Naomi about this. Not after their perfect fantasy date. She knew she could talk to Effy as nothing would shock her but she didn't want to see pity in her eyes. And talking to James was out of the question. She couldn't tell him everything. He might be more mature and more centered than she perhaps ever could be, but this wasn't something she could say to him.

Another deep breath. She knocked and the door opened momentarily. She was surprised as it wasn't whom she expected. She had the right place. That much was certain. The man smiled and she knew him from somewhere. "I'm sorry... I'm looking for someone." She answered as if that might be enough. "His name's Jameson."

"Hello, Emily." She looked at the man curiously. "You texted him a little while ago. Please... come in. I've been expecting you." She didn't know what to think. For a second she considered turning around and running out of there. Where would you go? Maybe he's inside.

With her last ounce of courage, she stepped through the threshold of Laura's old flat.