As of Sunday night the Marauders still hadn't attempted the test to see if flying on a broom would allow them up the girls' staircase since every time they tried the common room had too many students around, so they threw out the idea of doing it during the day and decided to try it at night. Remus didn't particularly feel comfortable with this however he was outvoted.
"It'll be fine," James said as they crept down the stairs well after midnight (which would have been worse if Remus, Sirius, and Peter hadn't gotten plenty of sleep in the afternoon!). He had his broom in one hand, his invisibility cloak in the other. Sirius went ahead to make sure nobody else was staying up and beckoned for them, indicating they were in the clear.
"It won't," Remus said, curling his fingers into fists, pressing them against his thighs.
Sirius ran his fingers through his hair. "Look, most likely it's the stairs enchanted, you said so yourself. Are you second guessing yourself now?"
Remus glowered. "You've overlooked the important part of that statement. 'Most likely' isn't a hundred percent."
James pointed the end of his broom at Remus who shuddered from the silver. "It's a lot more of a chance than a hundred percent failure, and we won't know till we try."
"Either way, we should not be down here," Remus said. James began glaring again. "I meant us." He indicated Sirius, Pete, and himself. "When—er, if the alarm goes off..."
"Oh. Right." James frowned as he mounted his broom. "After you guys make sure I'm invisible you should go up the stairs. I'll count to thirty."
Sirius put the cloak around James and his broom, adjusting it so nothing was showing until James flew upwards. If they looked up they could see everything, but James said he'd be careful. Sirius, Peter, and Remus went back up the stairs, back into their dorm. Remus sat on the edge of his bed, heart pounding as he waited. Would it work?
Then his brain clicked on to a realization. Something he had stupidly overlooked. If the alarm goes off and wakes everyone up, James won't be here, it'll be obvious who was trying! He jumped to his feet, rushing to the door, hoping that for some reason James was still counting. As soon as his hand went on the knob the alarm went off.
Remus cried out, hands going to his ears. The alarm wasn't as loud up in the tower as it had been in the common room however it was loud enough to bother Remus's ears as well as wake up Spinnet and Struthers (and everyone else). Struthers woke up with a noise of confused exclamation while Spinnet fell out of bed, getting tangled in his blankets.
"What the hell?!" Spinnet half-shouted as he got to his feet.
"That's the girls' stair alarm," Struthers said, getting out of bed, rubbing his eyes.
"Who's stupid enough to try sneaking up in the middle of the night?!" Spinnet growled then his eyes snapped immediately to Sirius's bed. Sirius waved cheerfully at him. Then his eyes went to James's obviously empty bed. "Where's Potter?"
"Bathroom," Sirius replied immediately.
There were voices out in the hall, other boys shouting to be heard over the klaxon sound. Spinnet shoved past Remus (nearly knocking him to the ground) to open their door, going out. Struthers followed, then the three Marauders. All along the staircase boys were pouring out of their dorms, the prefects pushing their way through to make it to the common room. Everyone followed, curious to see who had done it.
Remus, Sirius, and Peter reached the bottom of the steps, mingling in with the crowd which included girls. The same thing was being shouted back and forth between everybody.
"The stairs didn't turn into a slide!"
Remus looked over at the girls' stairs. They were still stairs, and girls were coming down them in confusion. Remus then glanced upwards as casually as he could, trying to see if James was maybe hovering above them.
"Who did it?"
"Why are they still steps?"
"What happened?!"
They were still standing around in bewilderment when the portrait opened, and a prefect came in with McGonagall in tow. She is covered head to toe in tartan, Remus thought, remembering something James and Sirius told him in their first year.
"What in Godric's name is going on?!" their Head demanded, storming to the stairs, flicking her wand. The alarm sound stopped. "Who tried to go up to the girls' dorms?" she asked, surveying the room. Nobody said anything. "Also, how on earth did you manage to prevent the stairs from smoothing out?" Still nothing.
Remus chewed his bottom lip, tugging at the end of his pajama sleeves, then suddenly went flush with embarrassment. He was in his raggedy pajamas in front of everyone, though of course no one was looking at him he still felt awkward.
"Mr. Spinnet?" McGonagall asked and the room turned to stare at Spinnet who was standing on an armchair with his hand raised to be seen above the heads of the older students.
"Potter's missing," he said with a disgustingly smug smile.
Okay, now everyone was looking at Remus in his raggedy pajamas, and Sirius and Peter. Remus took a step closer to Sirius without even thinking about it.
"He's in the bathroom," Sirius said, slightly hesitantly.
"With that sound going off?" someone asked.
Sirius shrugged. "He was getting a shower. Would you jump out of the shower starkers to run down here?"
McGonagall pushed her way through the crowd, face white, lips thin. "Mr. Black," she whispered furiously, "where is Mr. Potter?"
"I told you," Sirius said, trying to keep the innocent expression.
"Wouldn't he have had time to dry off and put something on?" another student asked.
McGonagall took Sirius by the wrist, marching him up the boys' stairs. "We'll see about this," she said.
Remus and Peter were pushed forward as the crowd jostled to get closer to the bottom of the stairs. Peter was tugging hard at Remus's sleeve, making tiny whimpering sounds. Remus began chewing at his nails, knowing James was going to be in a crap ton of trouble, terrified James was just gonna be kicked off the team the day he joined! There were whispers all around him, talking about James. Lily wriggled her way through the crowd, wrapping her bathrobe tighter around her as she reached the boys.
"Did he do this?!" she demanded furiously, grabbing Remus's arm. "Was Potter trying to sneak into our dorm?!"
Remus knew perfectly well the entire Gryffindor student body was listening to him right now which made him shake, feel sick, mentally curse James for doing this to him. "N-n—nnn-no!" he managed to get out, mustering all the honesty he could. It was the truth. James wasn't trying to sneak into their dorm, he was just seeing if flying worked.
"Then where is he? He's never far from Black," she accused. Remus just mumbled, no idea how to answer. Lily folded her arms. "I see. He did do it." She made a disgusted sound while several of the girls began complaining about the invasion.
Then everyone went silent again as they could hear footsteps coming down the stairs. Remus's eyes went wide as McGonagall appeared with Sirius and James behind her, James with wet hair and a bathrobe on. The common room burst into loud whispers. Lily looked absolutely shell shocked, jaw hanging open. It would have been hilarious, if the moment wasn't still so tense.
"All this fuss over a shower!" James said when he noticed everyone looking at him. He tightened the robe around himself. "For Merlin's sake."
McGonagall returned to the center of the common room while James and Sirius bunched up with Peter and Remus. Remus could hear James's heart pounding so fast, his breathing a little heavy as he labored to keep it under control. McGonagall spoke again about how whoever did it needed to come forward, or if anyone knew who did do it to please come forward. She was extremely disappointed in her male students, and removed fifty points from Gryffindor.
"Which, if the person who did it reveals himself, will be removed, and the student will merely receive detention," she added, casting another look around however nobody spoke up. She said once more how disappointed she was, then told everyone to return to bed.
Since the Marauders were quite close to the stairs they managed to be the first ones up. James dragged them all into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind them.
"Oh Merlin I thought I was a goner!" he moaned as he ripped off his robe, revealing his pajamas underneath, the legs rolled up.
"How did you manage that?" Peter asked.
"As soon as Sirius mentioned the shower I flew up the stairs," James replied, hurrying over to a stall where he pulled out his broom and cloak. "I dunked my head in a sink and got the robe on just as McGonagall knocked on the door."
Peter swallowed, shaking his head. "Blimey! Quick thinking there, Jimmy."
"I cannot, cannot, cannot believe you did it," Sirius said in awe.
"Nor I," Remus said, staring at his friend in disbelief. If he had made any bets about it, he would have absolutely bet on James being caught there. "That was incredible."
James beamed, puffing his chest out. "Thank Sirius too, mates! Without him giving me the cover story I would have been caught. Go away!" he shouted as someone knocked at the door.
Spinnet pounded at the door. "You did it. I know you did it!"
James went over, unlocking the door so he could crack it open, peering out. "Did not," he snapped. "I was getting a shower."
"At one in the morning?!" Spinnet banged the door open, furiously rushing in. Remus nudged James's robe to cover the cloak and broom. "I'm telling McGonagall in the morning you did it."
"Yeah, yeah, sure." James flapped his hand at him. "I was getting a shower. I didn't do it."
"Why? Why at one in the morning?!"
James just shrugged. "I couldn't sleep. I thought a nice hot shower would feel good. Soothe my aching muscles." He gave a show of stretching his arms.
Spinnet blinked a couple times. "What aching mu—!? What are you even talking about? I don't know how you managed..." He stepped closer to James, grabbing the front of his pajamas. "But you did it. I know you did."
"Fine, believe what you want, s'not my problem." James pushed Spinnet away. "Just don't get in my face about it."
Spinnet's hand darted to his pocket then remembered he didn't have his wand with him. "You two are absolute psychopaths. No, all three of you." His eyes went from James to Sirius to Remus. "None of you are normal!"
Remus tried his best to ignore the sick, cold feeling creeping inside of him. The wolf stirred a little bit though he easily managed to push it back down.
Sirius moved swiftly forward, grabbing Spinnet, shoving him back against the door. "First of all, don't ever call Remus crazy." He gave Spinnet another little shove. "Second of all, being normal? Is boring." He did another little shove. "And third of all, James obviously couldn't have done it. How could he have gotten from the stairs to the bathroom without any of us seeing him, hmmmm?"
Spinnet's mouth opened and shut a couple times as he struggled to get free. "Don't ever touch me, Black!" He managed to get loose, throwing himself from Sirius. "You're all... just freaks!" He wrenched the door open, stomping back to the dorm.
"What's his problem?" Peter grumbled. "You should have popped him."
"I should have," Sirius agreed.
"U...um... S-Sirius?" Remus stammered out. Sirius turned, fixating his silver eyes on him. "How come you told him not to call me crazy? And not yourself or James?"
"Because you won't and I know it bothers you being called that," he replied smoothly. "I remember last year when you said it bothers you, but denying it will just make you look it. So, I did it for you."
"Oh." A little flower of warmth bloomed inside of his chest and suddenly he didn't know how his limbs worked. He stumbled a little as they headed back to their dorm, feeling exceedingly awkward—as well as a touch confused. He couldn't remember ever telling Sirius that. He thought back to any recent conversations, reaching back to the end of their first year, not recalling anything.
In the morning as they were getting ready Remus decided to ask him. He and Sirius were in the bathroom alone, since James and Peter were sleeping in a little bit. "Um, Sirius?"
"Yeah?"
"Last night you said..." Then Remus wasn't sure whether or not to continue, it seemed so silly in the light of day. Sirius faced him, raising his eyebrows as he continued to brush his teeth, the pale blue potion dribbling out onto his chin. Guess I need to. "Last night you said you remembered that I once said it bothers me when people call me crazy and denying it would make me look crazier. I mean, it's true but... when did I tell you that?"
Sirius spat the potion out into the sink. "January."
Now Remus raised his eyebrows. "J... January...?"
"Yeah. Remember? In History class, we were passing notes." He looked upwards a little, clutching the toothbrush as he squinted, trying to remember. "You said... you didn't want to make yourself seem crazier, or something like that. You used a nerdy word instead. Then said that insisting you're not crazy just makes you look crazier. Also you said your middle name is Jirius."
The memory came flooding back into Remus's head at the Jirius bit. He began laughing. "I completely forgot about that. You drew a chicken that said 'nerd'."
"Yup!"
No wonder he couldn't remember, if it had been in notes. Ah yes, that was after that really bad freakout, when I stayed overnight in the hospital. He shivered slightly. "Wow, how can you remember all that?"
"Iunno." Sirius spat out more potion then began rinsing his mouth out. "I still have the notes."
"You do?"
Sirius froze then his cheeks went slightly pink as he washed his hands. "Yeah, uh, I've, uh, kept most my notes from—from all of you."
"Oh." Was he supposed to do that? Was that what people did? Keep notes from their friends? He sorta wished he still had them, especially the chicken. "Well. Um. Thank you. For last night."
"No problem. Anyone calls you crazy, I'll break their nose."
Remus shook his head, rinsing his own mouth out. The door flung open as James tumbled in, followed closely by Peter. James was still in an exuberant mood from getting away with what happened the night before though... as it turned out, he didn't get away with it at all. Mondays were one of their busy days—double Potions and Charms in the morning then History and Transfiguration in the afternoon—so by the time they went to Transfiguration class they were all pretty tired, ready for the classes to be over for the day. When the bell rang McGonagall dismissed class, except for James. She kept him behind.
Sirius, Peter, and Remus hung out across the hall. While they were waiting Lily came over to talk to Remus.
"I think Macdonald is going to come to study group tonight," she said.
"I was wondering why she hadn't yet," Remus said. "Did she not come on Friday then?"
"No, she didn't." Lily began winding some of her hair around one finger. "I think she's just really nervous. This is all so new and frightening to her."
I can relate, Remus thought, remembering how absolutely terrified he was to go to study group for the first time. "Just let her know she's very welcome," he said with a smile.
Lily beamed back. "I will. I'll see you tonight!" She cast a scowl in Sirius's direction who pulled a face back at her. She flounced off, grumbling to herself about idiots.
"Still don't see how you can stand to be around her," said Sirius, rolling his eyes. "She's so annoying."
Remus cocked an eyebrow at him. "I'm sure there's plenty that would say the same about you, you know."
Sirius looked mildly offended. "Me? Pshaw! Who would ever say I'm irritating!"
"Um, probably about ninety percent of the school," Peter replied.
Sirius glowered at him while Remus put his hand over his mouth to try to smother the laughter. Sirius was still pouting when James emerged from the classroom, rather pale. They got to their feet to walk with him, asking him what that was all about. James just hunched his shoulders, folding his arms, glaring straight ahead.
"She knows it was me," he finally said.
"What?" Sirius stopped in his tracks, grabbing James's arm. "What did she say?"
James looked around, spotting a group of third years nearby. He jerked his head, hurrying off to a secret passageway where they could have a little bit of privacy to speak. "She said she knew it was me last night," he told them as soon as they were shut up in the darkness. Remus quickly pulled his wand out, lighting up the end. "She took twenty more points off. Said she gave me plenty of time to come forward last night and since I didn't, we've now got a total of seventy points taken away, plus I have detention." He threw himself back against the wall with an annoyed sort of grunt.
"How... how did she know?" Peter asked.
"I have no flipping idea!" James shouted, causing Peter and Remus to both cringe back. "She—she said she's not sure how I managed to not be seen but she knows I was using a broom."
"Oh, damn it," Sirius said.
James nodded miserably. "She said she knew because the only way the stairs wouldn't change is if someone wasn't on the stairs. The spell to set off the alarm is around the entrance, and the one for the stairs is on the actual steps. She said she's seen someone try a broom before, a million years ago when she was a student. Ugh! She kept demanding to know how I wasn't seen."
"What did you say?" Peter asked.
James angrily ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up. "Maintained my innocence. Told her it was unfair to blame me because I was in the shower. She said she knew I hadn't gotten a shower because when she came into the bathroom there wasn't any, um, humidity or whatever."
Remus wanted to smack his own forehead. Of course, he thought, feeling stupid for not thinking of that sooner.
"She went into the bathroom?!" Peter demanded, horrified.
"Well, she knocked and asked if I was decent first, I—I said she could come in," he admitted. "Should have just come out myself but was so panicked."
"But you told her you didn't do it," Sirius pressed.
He nodded. "Of course I kept telling her it wasn't me but she doesn't believe me at all. She also gave me a lecture about how since I'm on the Gryffindor team I need to behave myself." James put his fingers up to do air quotes around the word behave.
"Th... that is true," Remus said, trying to ignore them all scowling at him. "If you get into too much trouble you—you might be kicked off the team."
James began swelling up again with ego. "Nah. I'm too good for that. She knows it, too. I'll just keep wracking up detention. Plus my amazing Quidditch abilities will more than make up for the lost points. At least she didn't do this in front of everyone, so no one else knows it was me. Uggghh seventy points though..."
"I did say it was a bad idea," Remus said, unable to stop himself.
"You also said you thought it was the steps enchanted," James pointed out huffily.
Remus put his hands on his hips. "Technically speaking I was right. The steps themselves were enchanted! Just... not... with both parts of the protective spells. Which is not something I anticipated. It is rather clever of them to do that, though. I'm assuming boys have tried the broom trick in the past. Or something similar."
"Well, Brains, is there a way around it?" James asked.
Remus spread his hands out. "Doubtfully."
"So we can't sneak into the girls' dorms," sighed Sirius.
Remus bit his bottom lip, trying not to smile since he knew there was a way. He had no plans to tell them since it would merely cause more trouble however they could tell by his expression he was hiding something. All three of them wheedled it out.
"All right, all right!" He began tugging at the hem of his vest, a little amazed none of them had seen the answer before. "There is possibly a way to get into their dorms via broom."
"Um. No. Last night proved that?" James scoffed.
Remus shrugged. "Perhaps the windows aren't enchanted?"
James, Sirius, and Peter were all silent as they absorbed this theory. James and Sirius's faces slowly lit up with huge grins.
"You mean... fly up? Outside?" Pete asked. Remus nodded.
James grabbed Remus's shoulders. "You, my little friend with a big brain, are an absolute genius!"
"Please note that I said perhaps!" Remus said as they took off running. "Besides, it's time for supper—guys? Come on, guys? You really want to get in trouble for doing the same thing in less than twenty-four hou—oh, bloody hell. Wait for me!"
He let out a sigh and went after his friends, easily catching up to them; James had started to dash up a flight of stairs before coming to a stop. Sirius ran into him, Peter into him, and Remus managed not to run into him though only because he had tripped on the stairs coming up. He staggered up the steps, rubbing his elbow while James whirled around.
"Can't do it," he said.
"How come?" Sirius asked. "It should work—"
James shook his head. "No, I mean, can't do it now. I've got to meet up with the Quidditch team soon. We have a meeting in about fifteen minutes. About practices." Sirius's face fell a little. "You could try it without me," James suggested hesitantly. "Borrow my broom."
"Nah. No fun without you." Sirius punched James's arm. "We'll try another day."
James's eyes lit up then he quickly glanced around to make sure nobody was around to listen in. "You could borrow my cloak and steal the mandrake!" he whispered.
Remus's stomach lurched. He wasn't sure which was worse, trying to sneak into the girls' dorm or stealing a mandrake. Sirius and Peter were both enthusiastic about stealing the mandrake, so Remus let out a resolved sigh, reluctantly agreeing to the plan as well, a little amazed at James's ability to want to just jump right into trouble again two seconds after getting into major trouble.
