Begin!

~Beatrice's POV

"What about this one, honey?"

"I like it, it's very spacious," Bertie said, putting his hands on my shoulders from behind me, "It'd be the perfect place to raise our child."

I couldn't help agreeing with that statement. The mansion we were looking at was not only available, it was gorgeous too. It clearly had at least a dozen rooms and possibly multiple kitchens. The ad even said it had a large parlor that I was thinking we could use for a library. It also had a huge fenced-in yard, and an area for a flower garden. I amused myself briefly by imagining our future children playing in it. Despite being close to the busiest street in the city, it was far enough away that the pressures of city life wouldn't get to our children, or us.

I glanced up at Karrie as she walked past. "Karrie what do you think? Should we try for this one?"

Karrie looked down at the paper in my hands. "It's very nice; what's the address?"

"Uh, 511 Paradise Drive; it's one turn away from Dark Avenue."

Karrie looked thoughtful for a moment. "667 Dark Avenue still has that fake elevator shaft that leads down to our tunnels. If you're going to move in close to there I'd suggest looking for a trap door inside the place first. That whole neighborhood is full of mansions, so some of them have to be volunteers."

"That's what the tour is for," Bertie replied.

Upon scheduling a date for us to look at the place, I found I liked it more and more when I saw it in person. The agent showing it to us was very nice, and detailed in talking about its rooms and features. Bertie was right about it being spacious, but I wasn't sure how right he'd be until I saw it myself.

"Now are you quite sure you can afford it," He asked us, "I mean you would do well with something less extravagant for an expecting family." Obviously he was referring to the fact that us having a baby would be quite expensive.

"Money's not an issue," Bertie answered confidently. "We wouldn't have come here if we couldn't afford it."

"We're quite well off," I added with a smile. (Not only from my inheritance and work as a bat trainer, but also from some side jobs as an actress that helped out a ton.)

I could see how someone would ask that question though, not that it really bothered us. Once his back was turned I gave Bertie a signal to search the place for a trap door while I distracted the agent with questions about the lawn and gardens.

"Oh yes, the soil is very fertile, you'd be able to grow all kinds of things out there, Mrs… I'm sorry what was your name again?"

"Baudelaire, Mrs. Baudelaire." It still wasn't official yet but strangely it didn't matter to me anymore.

I asked him more frivolous questions to continue passing the time. Well , some of them weren't that frivolous. I did include questions about child safety, since that was obviously top priority. (Top priority… damn it I've spent too much time with Jacques and Kit over the years, that's their saying.) After about the tenth question, Bertie returned to us in the main hall and gave me a discreet thumbs up to let me know the place had what we were looking for.

"Ah, there you are sir, did you have any other concerns about the place?"

"Yes, when can we sign for it?"

We'd have to set up an appointment at the bank to do that, but it could be arranged. Once Bertie and I were out of the place and back in our car I asked him what he had found.

"So where is it?"

"In the parlor, we'll turn it into a library." Bertie replied as he started driving. "Goes right to Dark Avenue."

"Hmph, I should have played Madame Lulu with a prediction that spot on." I was referring to a V.F.D. position as a carnival fortune teller near the Mortmain Mountains. It changed hands often and I've considered taking it up before, not that I want to now but I thought about it once.

He chuckled, "Yeah but you wouldn't want to. I'm told it gets tiring having to do that fake accent all day."

"Yeah I've heard the pay is awful too."

So of course we set up a time to meet at the bank, well the one we decided on anyway. It was called Mulctuary Money Management, a name that just rolled right off the tongue. As much as it seemed professional while we were filling out our paperwork, I had a bad feeling about the man we met to finalize everything. His name was Arthur Poe, and he seemed nice enough, but he was clearly quite incompetent. Under most normal circumstances, I wouldn't trust a man like this to even hold my jacket for me, let alone trust him with my money or the well-being of my estate, hell I wouldn't even trust him to babysit. Bertie seemed to agree with me as he shared the same dubious glances.

At one point however, Mr. Poe got a phone call from his wife and that gave us a moment to whisper freely about this issue; he wasn't very observant so he surely wouldn't notice.

"I don't know about this man, honey."

"Neither do I, what can we do to… improve this place to our higher standards?"

I glanced at the door behind us and remembered seeing a sign hiring for a secretary when we walked in. "We could put someone in here to keep an eye on things. Someone we trust. Someone organized."

"Excellent idea, any suggestions?"

"I'll ask around when we get back, for now just remain polite and follow my example."

Mr. Poe then hung up his phone, "I'm terribly sorry about that, Elenora wanted to know what I wanted for dinner tonight. Now are you all finished with the papers?"

"Yes we are, and I couldn't help noticing that you're hiring for a secretary. If you don't mind me saying so I might be able to assist with that." I said, using my best polite voice. I remember Lemony taught me that a polite voice is the best way to get what you want. (He said he learned it during his apprenticeship.)

"Really? But you're about to have a baby! I mean we do have paid maternity leave but I'm sure you'd rather be relaxing-"

"Oh, no sir, not me, but I do know someone and if you'll give me your business card so they can call you I guarantee they'd be highly recommended."

He seemed a tad skeptical but handed me a card anyway. "Well if you think so, I don't usually take recommendations from clients, but we are short-handed... I'll be expecting a call then."

I shoved the small card into my purse, "I assure you, Mr. Poe, my fiancé and I work with many dignified professionals." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bertie smirk at my response.

Well finding someone to take an undercover desk job was harder than I thought.

Kit was a field agent; she'd never be happy with that kind of job. Plus, she was too good at what she already does to let her take up another position. Dewey has to remain at the hotel to keep his library safe. Jacques had a day job already as a taxi driver so he was out of the question. Lemony didn't live in town and it was too dangerous for him to live closer anyway. Gustav lived with Dr. Montgomery out in the country on Lousy Lane working as his assistant, so he was out. Josephine hated paperwork cause it was boring, and she and Ike were going to live by Lake Lachrymose so it didn't matter anyway. Quinten and Karen can't live too close to us for safety reasons, and they had already started looking at a house near Finite Forest. And Larry's best skills were in the service industry, not bureaucracy.

"This is starting to be a lost cause." I said, looking through the names of my associates.

"What's starting to be a lost cause?" I heard a voice say from my office door.

I glanced up, "Oh, hi Jacqueline…"

"Something wrong," She asked, stepping inside.

I explained our problem with our chosen banker and how we needed someone more "well-read" in that office to make it easier to sleep at night.

Jacqueline gave me a little smile, "I can do it."

I blinked. "You? But you're the Duchess' daughter?"

"She can let me do it. Mother doesn't need me that often, and I deal with her paperwork on a daily basis. I'd be happy to get a change of scenery for a while. I can do it for you and Bertrand as a family friend. Plus, Mulctuary Money Management is close to the restaurant Larry's been stationed at for the past month so I'd have back-up nearby and a… ahem, companion."

Obviously, she was referring to the fact that she was particularly close to Larry and hadn't gotten to see him as often lately.

Even so, I couldn't believe she was agreeing to do something so dull for me. "You really wouldn't mind?"

"Of course I wouldn't! I can talk it over with my mother, she'll understand if I'm doing it for a good reason. You can think of it as my early wedding present for you."

I thought it over. Logically, there was no better candidate, R was about as professional and strict as one can get and Jacqueline had to grow up learning from such a woman. It was a no-brainer that she would be able to handle the bustle of secretarial duties better than most anyone else in the organization. And she was willing to do it, that was the best part.

I pulled the little business card out and handed it to her. "Here's the number, make sure you ask for Mr. Poe, don't take anyone else's offer. And list Bertie and I as references."

"I won't let you down. The way you describe this man, he needs all the help he can get," She replied before leaving my office.

I sighed. That was it, last thing we needed to take care of before we moved in. The house was signed over to us, we had our money, we had picked out wallpaper for the baby's room, everything was ready and only took a couple weeks of us being back. Everything was going smoothly. Now, there was one thing that needed to be set up.

I picked up my phone and called a certain number on a small other business card.

"Moxie, hi! No; we're fine, don't worry this is a personal call, nothing serious. But we are moving into a new place soon… 511 Paradise Drive, one turn off from Dark Avenue; we'd really like it if you and Lemony would visit if you can. We have some good news that you'd like to hear."

~End of Chapter!