Hello lovely! I know it has been three years since I have been here. I honestly was giving up on my stories, but even now I have been getting reviews for them, it was endearing to see that people were still interested and took time to let me know. You all have a point, I should at least try to finish it and so I shall! I hope you enjoy and I hope to continue to update! Thank you.
"But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will recieve anything from the Lord; he is a double minded man, unstable in all his ways." James 1:6-8
Alicia looked up as high as her neck would allow. Nothing but rocks as far above, right and left as she could see. Alicia had never been to real mountains before, never seen real ones either. "How long will it take us to cross these mountains?"
"If we do not come across too much danger, the High Pass should take us about three days' time." Gandalf answered from the side.
The High Pass was also on Alicia's map. It was the road she needed to take as well in order to find the hidden path she was looking for. Strange, the closer she got to it, them more apprehension she felt about it. Doubts started to invade her thoughts, if this really was just a fools' errand or if there was a chance to go back. By now her colony would suppose her dead and they'd find ways to replace her. A more realistic thought was that she would just go back to The Shire with Bilbo, which hopefully by then they would have the cave-in cleared away and she would just return home the way she came. The biggest fear was that what if she got lost in these mountains when she separated from the company?
For now she kept her thoughts to herself. No one would really care to hear them anyway. "This is the halfway mark though isn't it?" Alicia voiced instead. She smiled to Fili. "You're halfway there to Erebor."
The prince had a polite smile in return. "Aye. We shall see our ancestral home in due time." He flicked his hand towards her wrapped up bundle there she was hoisting. "Those sticks you've been collecting, are you saving them for fires?"
"Correct." Alicia answered as she adjusted her hold. "Just enough to boil some water or have a hot meal going you know?" She replied.
Fili was still smiling bemusedly at her. "Here, let me carry them before you start acting like Gloin too. He has had the same idea and you see what Oin thinks of it." He nods his head diagonally over his shoulders. Alicia looked behind them to see Oin and Gloin arguing with each other.
"You look like a porcupine!"
"You're a prickly old goat anyway!"
"Why do you carry so much useless stuff?"
"My stuff is priceless! You're always forgetting things anyway!"
"I always knew I had a pack-ass for a brother."
Alicia laughed at the bickering. She found it to be familiar in some ways too. "Oh, thank you Fili by the way."
"Think nothing of it." He called over his shoulders.
The first thing she noticed was that Alicia had a longer reach, naturally. So she would go ahead just a little, never out of sight, and sort of, scout ahead for anything. Like standing there waiting for the others, silently indicating it was an easy walk when they reached the top. Though, then she saw Bilbo taking up the rear again. It was nice when Bofur or Kili would stay with him.
In the daylight, she would go ahead some, wait for them and offer her hand if any of them needed the extra pull. "Come on Dori you got this. You're in your element now." She encouraged.
"Dirt is not my element." He grumped back, taking her hand. Though maybe he took it more out of gratitude than using her. He probably would have pulled her down. " Finely polished stone, a nice bottle of wine and knitting gear or a good book. A warm fire, or a fashion parlor, now we are in my element."
"One day, maybe you could design an outfit for me, when I have the money for it. Or I could be one of your models." Alicia said catching up to him.
"Mm." The elder Ri hummed, side glancing her. "I could do that, yes." His lips curled upwards some, which Alicia considered it a win.
She continued to help others if she could, some refused for sake of looking manly like Gloin or Dwalin. Others took it all the same like Balin or Bofur. At night though, she hung back letting someone else take the lead. Especially with Bilbo she couldn't stop looking over her shoulder for him.
"Oh confusticate these stones. Is it just me, or is it getting a little harder to get some air?" The hobbit said just beside her.
"You're right. The air is getting thinner and that's just gravity. The higher we get, the thinner the air gets and can be a little more difficult to breathe. Actually a lot of people from my world would travel to the mountains to train, gets their bodies used to get used to using less oxygen." Alicia said beside him.
"Getting used to less air to breathe? Sounds like training for rather hostile events." The hobbit replied, shakily putting his feet on the narrow path.
"Lots of people in sports do it so they don't get out of breath too fast." Alicia mused. However she didn't expect to be affected by it in the way that it started.
Sleep for instance, was hard to get. And steadily getting harder whenever they stopped. The ground was cold, hard and had her waking up sore. The wind was steadily getting louder, moaning like zombies and had her paranoid like she was in an abandoned hospital. It made traversing the mountain more difficult than it should be.
As they were making it across the narrow paths, Alicia found herself sighing more and more. Either from frustration or from the discomfort of being surrounded by all this rock that, in some cases, made her feel slightly claustrophobic. Meanwhile the dwarves were handling the situation much better than her. In the better weather, they'd chat about topics Alicia knew little about. In the cold and rainy weather they were grimacing just like her. It took the really bad weather to make them finally as miserable as she was felling nearly all the time. As the hard nights and cold days continued by, Alicia's nerves were getting beyond frayed and she would be two steps from screaming out or pulling at her hair in great agitation. All the dwarves seemed hardly effected by it, and she hated this feeling like she was the weakest length, or the bottom of the barrel and couldn't get on an even field with them. Looking at Bilbo though, her nerves were calmed a little at seeing she was not the only one who wanted to get out of here fast.
The wind would moan and howl between the large bodies of rock, waking her and putting her on edge. Nights of sleeplessness increased and, for now, she was able to still function on a few hours, or catnaps in the night. Her gloves were getting frayed or torn as they climbed over the jagged rocks. At one time, she reached back to help Kili and the thunder struck violently loud, making her flinch. Kili's hand missed hers and he nearly tumbled down had he not caught himself.
"Sorry! Sorry!" Alicia confessed as she regained composure to help him again.
The archer looked at her with a frown of confusion, but didn't say anything as he accepted her help again.
The icy wind made her shiver violently, that she'd always try to be near the back of the nook or cave they'd find. Grumbling stomachs had become easy for her to ignore since they really had to ration out their food. Oh but then, the rainy night came. Worst of the worst for her. She was sneezing, wiping her nose, shivering, fingers and toes far too cold. Her performance suffered so much that Gloin or Nori would be behind her to give her a boost. Bofur would take her by the elbow to help her forth. It was also the first time she had ever really seen Bofur act as much of a mother hen as Dori would be. Dori himself wouldn't mind when she'd be closer to him for warmth while they rested. Bilbo and Alicia had become like teddy bears to each other sometimes to keep warm. This night was perhaps the worst so far though. Thorin had hoped to get to shelter much sooner than this, however none suitable for them all ever showed up and now they were out in the rain, on a thin and slippery ledge.
She saw more than heard, Bifur point to the sky. Whirling around, her jaw went slack at the sight of a huge rock that looked to be floating in the sky for a moment before crashing onto the walls almost directly above them. Two arms were thrown over her as they all flattened themselves against the mountain wall.
"This is no thunderstorm, this is a thunder battle!" Balin's voice roared over them. His hand also pointing further down. "Look!"
Instinctually everyone did, and what they saw had them all bug-eyed gaping.
A giant made of rock, stepped around a mountain edge, taking up some fighting stance. He was met by another giant, throwing a punch at him. The huge creatures arms moved like slow motion, crashing into each other much like the cracking of thunder. Alicia stood there, nearly transfixed on the sheer size of the man shaped rocks, slinging themselves at each other like a bar fight. She wondered if this was how puppies and kitten felt like next to fully grown humans.
"Bless me!" Bofur's voice echoed over them. "The legends are true! Giants! Real stone Giants!" He stood in just as much awe as Alicia. Kili suddenly grabbed him and threw him towards a bank with everyone else. The same thing happened to Alicia when Bifur pulled her.
"How….how do we tell if we're by a mountain or stone giant?" Alicia asked almost stupidly. It really wasn't the time to ponder that right now. Scrambling forth, everyone moved in an urgent flee to get out of danger. As they progressed one at a time on a narrow path, the rock wall behind them suddenly started to split, a large crevice breaking wider as the Company made a mad dash to get away. Not all made it before the jump was too far. Kili stared in horror as his brother, Bofur, Bilbo, and Alicia were separated from the others. Dori swung about wildly, eyes almost unseeing, his brothers also trying to grasp some semblance of security in this madness. Looking upwards, Alicia saw the cracks and rocks breaking off and taking a rough form of….Knees?
The mountain side kept moving, making everyone clasp onto something desperately. Slowly then, their 'mountain' became a stone giant, standing up to square off with the others. Each time punches would collide with a giant, rocks from the size of a car to the tiniest pebble would rain down. Everyone was pelted by them, but thankfully none big enough to cause serious injury or falling. With nothing she could do but look around, Alicia watched as they were helplessly riding on a dangerous roller coaster. For a moment she saw them swinging by the other half of the group, who watched on with matching looks of daunted helplessness. Her ears ached with the pain of screaming as they went headlong into another rock wall. Her own voice caught in her throat, adrenaline rushing through her veins.
The only thing she could think to do right now was to hold on, so her hands wrapped around the nearest people and she held on. She felt her whole body go numb as they were knocked from the 'knees' of the stone giant to the other wall. Bodies went flying past her, including her own in the tangle, unable to get a clear visual on anything. She could not tell who or what she had hit, so battered and weakened that her own body was hard to move. So she really didn't bother moving right now.
Someone else had hauled her to her feet, and their voices were blurred and undistinguishable. They moved her closer to the rock wall, holding her tight as another chorus of shouts erupted. Forcing her head to turn, she could see the rear ends stuck in the air like Bofur's as they yelled downward. Someone called Bilbo and finally her head cleared. "Bilbo? He fell over?" she started in her own alarm. The survivor forced herself to move but whoever held her kept their strong hold onto her.
"Stay here lass. Can't have you trying to go over the edge."
Thorin disappeared and was pulled up by Dwalin and two others, Bilbo in tow.
Though no doubt she still looked dazed and confused, Thorin's words rang clear in her mind as he let his frustrations unleash on the poor hobbit. Normally Alicia would be angry for him, yet she was just so weakened, All she could do was sigh, gripping the arm of whoever was holding her. In return said person, gave a small squeeze in return. Her heart sank with the hobbit's head as Thorin whirled away to go to the cave his nephews had found.
Being picked up to her feet to help steady her, she noticed it was Bifur and Nori who were helping her up and about. They were still beside her as they finally made it to somewhat safety from the outside, whipping wind. However, Thorin's words gave her mind some clarity, as all now she could focus on was those hurtful words. Her face contorted into a glare at the ground till they finally made it to the cave. Everyone practically fell to the ground, beaten and bedraggled by the lethal roller coaster. Alicia was thankful for it, and she bid her time, waiting for Thorin to finish his commands before he stepped away. Alicia swiped her hair back out of her face and marched after him.
Thorin sensed her coming before she had to say anything, though she must have looked like something from a horror show the way his brows rose at her visage.
"Why did you say those things?" She asked directly.
"Because it is true. He has thought of nothing but going home. He has no place-"
"How are you going to tell anybody who willingly chose to help you where their place is?" Alicia blurted.
"I am the leader. It is my duty and right to give orders even at the expense of feelings if I must." Thorin bit back, his own jaw clenching.
"Maybe when your judgment isn't clouded by your own pride and frustrations, but he chose to leave his home to help you find yours. Chose to put his life on the line for you and the others and you snap at him for not being perfect on the wet rocky slopes of a stone giant?"
Thorin snorted, unfolding his arms. "How do you mean by my pride and frustrations? He put my men's live at risk. We all know he does not wish to be here so why stay? Let him go home and save us the trouble."
"I'm sick and tired of all ya'lls harsh judgements. Like you're the only people who know what suffering is and so it's okay to look down your nose at others." Alicia snapped waspishly. "He hasn't complained once, always tried to help in every little way he can, and none of you can at least acknowledge that."
Thorin had a glare still with a tine of some contemplative look like pieces were trying to fit together. He stalked up to her then. Though she tried to disregard it, he could see her tense up as if ready to flinch away at any moment. "I seem to recall your own stubborn ways Miss Alicia. You would point out my flaws and not see your own are similar to mine?"
Alicia's own steam was nearly spent at that. Her sharp glare softened as she thought on his words. "Yeah, guess we do. But I can also relate to Bilbo because I'm new to this type of quest too. Bilbo doesn't need someone pointing out his flaws right now, he can do that perfectly fine on his own; and you don't need someone holding you back. A willing heart and loyalty is all that you ask for and hasn't Bilbo shown that in his own way?" She said to him, though she may just as well be speaking to herself.
Thorin stood silently, letting the quiet stretch between the two of them as he scanned the cliff faces surrounding them. He stood there in his typical brooding demeanor for a while before turning back. "We must get our rest."
"I'm sorry I fussed at you." Alicia suddenly blurted out, once again getting Thorin to frown at her. "It just wasn't fair to say that to Bilbo but you're doing fine as a leader too."
Thorin held up a hand to stop her. "Enough Alicia. You've proven your point. Leave me and return to the others." He barked.
Alicia's face pinched into another muted snarl before she whirled on her heels to go to her bedroll. Thorin was suddenly aware of his own behavior. He hadn't meant to sound as rough and cold as he might have. Didn't mean to frighten her either. He pinched the bridge of his nose, rolling his shoulders before retiring to his own spot on the ground to rest.
Alicia carefully picked her way to a spot beside Bilbo and the young princes, everyone noticeably not looking her way or to Thorin. There was an odd tension and she felt as if everyone was unusually aware of her. She hated it. Alicia tried to ignore it by taking out her map. They were not far now, to where she would say her goodbyes to the others and explore the unknown path.
"Are you going somewhere else?" Kili disrupted her thoughts. He clearly saw her map and the markings on it.
"This path was one I was studying back at Rivendell. It could be a way back home." Alicia admitted.
Kili frowned even more So, looking between her face and the map. "You would leave us now? In the mountains?"
"…soon. Yeah." She answered meekly. Her eyes scanned about the sleeping bodies.
Kili could only shake his head. "I cannot believe you are so driven by this. It seems to me that you are putting too much faith in something unreliable."
"Yeah." Was all Alicia could think to say.
The black haired prince shuffled his feet. "Why? What if you fall into an enemy trap? Or what if we do not want you to leave?"
Her head lifted up at these questions. "I don't know about the first one. The second, well. I enjoy being with you all too. But my home isn't Erebor." Her hands went to her head and another small sigh escaped her lips. "The closer I get the more unsure about it I am. Maybe I should just turn back too. Go back to the Shire and see if they cleared out the cave-in and see if I can just go back home that way."
Kili rubbed his nose. He didn't have much of an answer for her either. "I don't think I would like you to leave now of all times. If you fell into a goblin trap because we let you leave now, it would not sit well on our conscious."
"You're right." Alicia muttered back. She shuffled to lay down. "I shouldn't do that unless I'm at least going a safe way back or something."
Kili also moved to a laying down position. "'Twould be fair." He said in a yawn. Put an extra coat on too. It is like your skin has gone paper thin to where I can see the veins about your neck and shoulder."
Alicia smiled tiredly. Of course dwarves had good vision in the darker corners like this.
Kili easily drifted to sleep, though for Alicia, it was still more like a light doze. She woke up easily when she heard the shuffling from the side. Bilbo was packing up….
Wait. Where was he going?
He paused when he saw her sitting up and kneeled to whisper to her. "I'm going back to Rivendell. You can come with me if you wish."
Alicia moved to get her things while her mind was still making a choice.
When he tiptoed silently around the sleeping dwarves, Alicia too got up, following him. She was about to ask him why he decided to go, but another beat her to it. Bofur stood up from his post. "Where do you think you're going?"
Bilbo looked as if he didn't want to explain himself. "I'm going back to Rivendell. Alicia you are welcome to come."
Alicia frowned, but could no find any words to combat that.
"You cannot turn back now. You're one of uc, you're part of the company." Bofur pleaded. He looked back to Alicia as well, a look of shock on his face at seeing her packed to go too.
"I'm not now am I. Thorin is right. I'm not a Took. I don't know what I was thinking. I should have never run out my door." Bilbo retorted.
"You're homesick. I understand." Bofur tried again but was cut off by the hobbit.
"No! no you don't understand! None of you do. You are all dwarves, used to this life on the road and not belonging anywhere!"
At that even Alicia's face winced. Bilbo realized what he just said too and he also shrank. "I'm sorry Bofur. I didn't mean-"
"No you're right." He paused to look back at the others. "We don't belong anywhere."
Alicia still could not find any words for this. Maybe it just wasn't her conversation. She saw Bofur regarding her and she looked saddened. Bofur's natural joy was not gone for long and he stepped aside to let her pass. "I wish you both all the luck in the world." He looked to Bilbo patting his shoulder. "I really do." Bilbo looked at ease again. He patted Bofur's arm as Alicia united with them. Though she grabbed them both in a big group hug.
"I'm really glad to have met all of you." Her muffled voice came out.
Bofur graciously took the hug, returning it with one of his one until something caught his eye. "What's that?" he pointed at Bilbo's side.
Bilbo suddenly looked alarmed as he halfway pulled out his sword as it glowed blue. Then as if on que, the ground began to rumble.
Thorin was up in an instant yelling at everyone to also rise. That's also when she noticed Gandalf was no where to be found.
"Of course he isn't here." Alicia said aloud as the ground opened up swiftly like two windowsills.
Just like that everyone is dumped into some underground slide, bumping and sliding downward in a dizzying spin.
There we are! I want to say thank you all again for the motivation to keep me going. I hope you all are safe and well. See you next time!
