So this is the FINAL chapter of the show-canon story. Thank you so much to everyone's who stuck with it and kept reading and encouraging me with your kind feedback for all these months :) I've really enjoyed writing it, and hope you've enjoyed reading it!

I'm currently working on the alternative ending and will be posting that chapter next week hopefully!


Based on events after Episode 6 of GoT Season 8

(Also includes flashback from Episode 8 of GoT Season 6)


Blossom was beginning to form on the trees. It surprised Brienne to see that winter had not been as long or as treacherous as had been predicted. It made her feel somewhat hopeful for the future, and yet whenever she felt that, a strange surge of guilt would threaten to overcome her. How could she possibly think about being ready to move on, when the loss of Jaime still felt so raw?

Even after all this time, the grief remained Brienne's close companion. Some moments were harrowing and some were beautiful, and they never went away. They followed her like a shadow, like a gaping hole that Brienne had already gotten used to. Although Brienne had accepted now – and almost even embraced – that this feeling would never go away, she couldn't help but wish sometimes that she was free of it. She missed the person she had been when she was around Jaime. For quite some time now she hadn't shed a single tear, nor had she felt a surge of outrageous joy. She wanted to live again. She wanted to feel again. She wanted to re-join the human race. All she had to do was ask Jaime to let her go, and to move on from the future they had dreamed of together. There was a different life ahead for her now, as hard as that may be for her to try to understand and accept. But she wasn't ready for that quite yet. She needed to hold onto him, just for a little longer. And she could still try to enjoy her new life; it was getting easier with each week that passed.

Indeed, on one particular evening, Brienne found herself having a drink at one of the capital's many rebuilt inns with Pod and Tyrion, and the three of them were joking and drinking just like they had done at the feast at Winterfell, so many months ago now. After laughing for the first time in months at something witty Tyrion had said, Brienne had glanced up from under her lashes to look at the seat opposite her, half expecting to see Jaime's tender mesmerized gaze and soft smile…only to see it empty. And then the guilt, shame and sorrow had hit her like a punch to the gut, because grief followed no rules, and her rediscovered ability to laugh seemed to disappear abruptly.

Brienne left the inn quickly after that and retired to the Lady Commander's apartments so that she could keep busy and write a letter to Queen Sansa, as she frequently did, to update her on life in King's Landing. She wrote of how she missed Sansa's assertive yet comforting presence, of how she missed a female friend to talk to, of how Pod spoke of her often and openly looked forward to visiting Winterfell as one of King Bran's delegates. Brienne often wondered how that relationship between Sansa and Pod had started; she had been too consumed in her own newfound love with Jaime that she had barely noticed it come about. Lost in nostalgia, Brienne cast her mind back to that day on the snow-covered grounds in Winterfell while Pod had trained outside with the other squires and Sansa had noted his impressive skills. Not long after Sansa had left her side, Jaime had walked over to stand beside Brienne, smiling slightly as he noticed her nervous blinking. Two intimate friends who knew each other better than most, and yet they had been so unsure and so nervous after the last time they had spoken alone in Riverrun.

Why had we put it off for so long? Why did we waste so much time?

Sighing, Brienne abandoned her letter to Sansa for now, making a mental note to complete it tomorrow, and walked out onto her balcony, the balcony that Jaime had once looked out of so many times. He had told her himself once how much he had liked to come out here every night to look up at the stars, and every morning to watch the sun rise. It was his way of escaping, a brief moment of peace, where he could forget the woes of his family and the kingdom. Brienne understood how he had felt, only now strangely she felt like she didn't need to escape anymore. This place and its people were slowly but surely becoming her home. And it surprised Brienne deeply to realise that she was content with that fact.

Brienne looked up at the clear night sky, at the stunning view of the stars twinkling in the distance, and sighed longingly as she prayed for Jaime.

I know you're there. I just wish you were here. With me.

There was then a gentle tap at the door. Brienne turned around to see Tyrion hovering there in the open doorway. Brienne's lips parted in surprise; he must have followed her back to the Red Keep from the inn.

'Ser Brienne. May I come in?' he asked, and Brienne came back into her room from the balcony at once.

'Of course, Lord Ty-'

'What have I told you? Just Tyrion, please. Forgive me, I don't mean to intrude,' Tyrion said as he stepped into her room. 'I know it's rather untoward for a man to come alone to the bedchambers of a noble woman such as yourself at night like this. Not that that deterred my brother by any means.'

There was an awkward silence as Brienne felt herself blush. Tyrion grimaced.

'I…I'm sorry, my lady, that was…a poor attempt at a joke,' he muttered uncomfortably.

'It's quite all right. And…you're not wrong. Although Jaime was rather intoxicated at the time I think you're referring to.'

Tyrion laughed fondly. 'He was terribly nervous that night. I truly believe he was worried his affections for you were unrequited. Ah…it seems so long ago now,' he said wistfully.

'It does. Please, do sit. How may I help?' Brienne asked, as they both sat by her desk.

Tyrion watched her carefully, his brow furrowed. 'You rushed off earlier at supper. I thought we were having a nice evening together, us three.'

'We were. We did. It was very nice,' Brienne replied.

'Then…why did you leave so early?' Tyrion asked. 'I don't mean to impose, I'm just…I'm concerned and I want to make sure everything's all right.'

Brienne frowned. 'Why?'

'Because I'm your friend. And because I promised my brother I would look after you,' Tyrion said gently, and Brienne looked down at her hands on her lap.

'I don't need taking care of, Tyrion,' she said quietly.

'I know that…just as much as you know he didn't mean it in that way when he asked me to,' Tyrion said, almost sternly, and after a short silence he sighed. 'You know…I'm not trying to replace him, in any way.'

Brienne gave him a questioning look.

'I'm very aware that…you, Pod and my brother had a…connection of some sort,' Tyrion said. 'The three of you shared a special dynamic, ever since the Battle of Winterfell. I would hate for you to think I'm trying to…take his place in that.'

Brienne's face fell. 'Oh, Tyrion, you've got me very wrong. It's not that at all,' she said earnestly, and she sighed in resignation. 'I'm sorry that I was no good at hiding my…sadness earlier. But you see…I laughed this evening. You said something, I can't even remember what it was now, but…it made me laugh. And I haven't laughed since…-'

'Since he died,' Tyrion finished for her gently.

Brienne nodded. 'I think the last time was…the day before he left. He made some awful joke about me giving him a hand.'

'Oh dear,' Tyrion said, frowning. 'That's quite appalling, even for him.'

'I know. But the thing is…I thought that was it. After he left Winterfell, I…well, I was so deliriously happy during that month we spent together. And I was so…broken when he'd gone, I just assumed…I'd never find any remote joy in life again. But this evening I laughed. I smiled. And it was almost as if I'd…forgotten him, just for a moment. And I couldn't bear that,' Brienne murmured, a tear welling in her eye. 'So…that's why I left early. Forgive me if it was rude to do so.'

Tyrion gazed at her, his eyes full of sympathy, and found himself feeling grateful towards his late brother for bringing this person into his life. 'It wasn't rude at all, Lady – sorry, Ser-'

'Brienne. Just Brienne.'

'Very well. Brienne,' Tyrion said, and he smiled. 'You shouldn't let yourself feel guilty for…feeling happy, from time to time. And I know what you're going to say, but you're wrong – it's not a betrayal, it's not disloyal and it's not an insult to his memory. And you should jolly well listen to me, seeming as I'm his last living relative and have the right to say this.'

Brienne managed a hint of a small smile as she looked at him, his bottom lip trembling slightly.

'It's been quite a few months now,' Tyrion said, almost bracingly. 'We have both…reached a certain phase in coping with what happened. A turning point, if you will…where we are finally feeling…well, almost at peace with carrying on with our lives…without him physically around to share it with us. And that fact alone is painful and terrible and distressing but…that's what grief is, I'm afraid.'

'You feel the same, then?' Brienne asked, feeling somewhat relieved that she was not alone.

'I do. More so than I'd like anyone to believe.'

Brienne nodded, and sniffed slightly. 'Forgive me, Tyrion, you must think me rather heartless. I keep forgetting you're in mourning for your sister as well.'

'Thank you for that,' Tyrion said heavily. 'I know it must be hard for you to speak of Cersei.'

'Actually…I've been finding it easier recently,' Brienne admitted. 'I no longer blame her for his death.'

'Don't you?' Tyrion said with raised eyebrows, surprised. 'You're a better person than I am if you truly think that.'

'The war killed him, just as it did her. Well…Daenerys Targaryen killed them,' Brienne said, glancing awkwardly at Tyrion.

'Yes,' Tyrion mumbled, shuffling uncomfortably. 'Trust me, no one feels worse about that than I do. I had faith in Daenerys, I loved her, I helped her…'

'You weren't to know what she would become,' Brienne reassured him. 'She seemed…a good ruler when I first met her. Her grief for Missandei and Rhaegal was what made her snap, I think.'

But Tyrion looked forlorn. 'It's still no excuse for slaughtering a city.'

Brienne sighed. 'No. It's not. I think Jaime saw it coming, you know. He was never sure of Daenerys. He knew more than us the danger she posed to King's Landing, he knew what could happen. And…Cersei was in the middle of all that. She was his sister and she was pregnant. How could he not have gone back?' she said. 'Jaime's whole life was devoted to his family, he wouldn't have been being true to himself if he'd let them perish without trying to do anything to prevent it.'

Tyrion almost felt like he could cry. 'I can't tell you how much of a relief it is for me to hear you say those words. I was worried you'd never understand his reasoning. I struggled to.'

'I always understood. It just took me a long time to accept,' Brienne said quietly.

'Well I'm glad you do. I'd hate for you to…look back on him harshly, or for your memories of your time together to be…clouded by any bitterness or anger towards him,' Tyrion said.

'They never could be. You should know…it was never like me to speak of matters of the heart before, not to anyone. And I never thought that I'd be doing so to anyone like you,' Brienne said, and they both exchanged a smile. 'I always learnt to keep that sort of thing…bottled up, hidden away. But that's not me anymore. Your brother…opened my heart in a way I didn't even know was possible. I loved him very much, you know. I still do, even though he's gone.'

'I know. I just hope you know that he loved you just as much, quite possibly even more so, and that he was changed all the better just for knowing you,' Tyrion said, making Brienne's chin quiver some more. 'And he would have hated it if you were to let this guilt over moving on consume you. Do you think Jaime would want you to spend the rest of your life wrapped up in misery and grief?'

'No, I don't think he would,' Brienne murmured. 'It's just very hard, when I still have trouble sometimes accepting that he's not here anymore.'

'I understand,' Tyrion said, and he sighed. 'Grief is a funny thing. It's the love you cannot give.'

'Who said that?'

Tyrion tilted his head at her. 'Am I no longer considered intelligent enough to come up with my own words of wisdom?' he said, and when she gave him a sceptical look, Tyrion chuckled. 'I'm not sure who it was. My point is…you know what it is to love, and to be loved in return. It was cruel that your time together was cut so brutally short, when you should have spent years of happiness with one another. But you knew that love all the same. Do you have any regrets? Aside from…his whole wretched silly leaving debacle. Would you have changed anything?'

'No. Not a thing,' Brienne said fondly. 'I'll cherish every moment we spent together, from the first day we met.'

'Even the bad moments?' Tyrion said, smirking. 'I heard there were many before your time at Harrenhal.'

'Even those too,' Brienne replied, and she smiled back. 'I thought I would be mourning Jaime for the rest of my days. Perhaps a part of me always will, or at least…I'll always mourn the life we could have had together, and…the person I was around him.'

'But you still are that person, Brienne,' Tyrion said, and he reached out and took her hands in his. 'Pod and I saw that person tonight, at the inn. You're still in there.'

'I think actually it's him that's still in here.' Brienne's hand instinctively fell to rest against her heart.

Tyrion smiled as a tear fell down his cheek. 'You're coming alive again, Brienne. And it's not wrong of you to do so, nor for me either. He would be pleased. He is pleased. I know he's watching.'

'I do hope you're right,' Brienne said.

Tyrion removed his hands from hers and got up to his feet. 'I always am.'

Brienne looked at him sceptically. 'Let's not go down that road.'

'Yes, agreed. But how about another drink?' Tyrion suggested. 'Pod's still awake-'

'Not tonight, but thank you. Tomorrow?' Brienne said hopefully.

'Very well, tomorrow it is,' Tyrion said firmly, looking almost triumphant as he headed back towards the door. 'I'll leave you now. Goodnight, Brienne.'

'Goodnight. And Tyrion?' Brienne said, and Tyrion turned back to face her. 'Thank you.'

Tyrion smiled warmly at her and with a nod he then left Brienne's quarters and closed the door gently behind him.

Smiling to herself, Brienne looked back out towards the balcony. She couldn't waste her time on tears anymore. She knew her heart would never come alive again the way it had with Jaime. But still, it would be nice to get somewhere close. Tyrion was right; it was time to look forward. Just as Jaime wanted her to. Smiling slightly, Brienne found the parchment on her desk containing the words she already knew so well, and read Jaime's letter once more.

My dearest, Brienne,

If you are reading this then it means, if Pod obeyed my wishes, that I did not make it. This outcome will not come as a surprise to me; my death has been long overdue. And my chances for this mission are very slim. I'm not afraid to die. But I am afraid to leave you behind.

No doubt you hate me by the time you are reading this, which is a harrowing thought because right now, I have just had a splendid dinner with you and will soon be joining you in our bedchamber once I have finished writing this. I made you laugh earlier with my appalling joke about giving me a hand, do you remember? I hope you're reading this with a smile on your face. Although, knowing you, you're most likely scowling at the parchment and look as if you want to tear through it with your sword. I don't blame you. I deserve it.

But first I beg you to spare a minute of your time to read this before tossing it in the fire. I need to explain, and I need to say goodbye. I can't say any of this in person because I know if I do, I will never be able to bring myself to leave you, but I have no choice. I have to go.

Firstly, I must ask for your forgiveness for leaving the way I plan on doing. All being well, I will leave Winterfell once you are asleep. The thought of you waking alone and with no explanation tomorrow morning pains me more than I can say, but please believe me when I say I am being cruel to be kind. This is the only way to protect you, and perhaps my abominable behaviour will lead you to despise me almost as much as I do myself, and it will make the news of my demise less painful. I truly hope so anyway.

If my resolve breaks and I dare to inform you of my imminent departure tonight, I know you will try to stop me, and if you do, I will have to break your heart to make you stay in Winterfell, and I can't bear the thought of that. If you were to follow me to the capital, Cersei would have you killed, without question. She knows only a little of what there is between us, but it is enough to unhinge her to the point of murdering you in cold blood. Even without her influence, it is far too dangerous in King's Landing and I can't risk you being there. I need you to be safe.

Second, it is crucial that you understand why I have to leave. It's costing me everything to do this, but I believe it is the only choice I have. It is the right thing to do. Believe me, if there was any other way I would stay with you because I love you, Brienne. You must know that. However, I swore a solemn vow to Cersei, I promised to protect her from harm as best as I could. I can't keep my oath if I stay here in Winterfell and I can no longer be the oathbreaker everyone sees me as. My love for Cersei is no longer the kind of love that I have for you, but it is unconditional. Whether I want her to be or not, she has always been the one constant thing in my life. She is my sister, and you know that family has always been the most important thing to me. I have to be loyal to my house, and I can't let her die alone; I'm the last one she has. I'm the only one left who she will listen to – you never know, I might be able to persuade her to surrender, and save the city before it's too late. It may be an impossible task, but I have to try and save her, if I can. My whole life has been devoted to protecting Cersei, and it's my duty to be by her side when she loses. And it's what I deserve.

I've had to take a long look at who I really am today, and I have to accept the sad truth that I'm not the Jaime Lannister you see me as. I will always be the Kingslayer. I wish I could be that man you spoke of in the hall upon my arrival to Winterfell, when you vouched for me. But I am too tainted, and too haunted by the horrific acts I've committed in the name of my sister. I will never be rid of them. But perhaps this act, to save my sister and save the capital, might begin to make amends for the horrors I have taken part in.

I know that I may well not be coming back, and if this letter ever falls into your hands, it means that I did not. In an ideal world, I would be able to save Cersei and send her on her way to live the rest of her days in hiding, and then I could return to you and we could sail away to Tarth and live together as man and wife. But this is not an ideal world. This is the nightmare of my life. Cersei is a monster, but so am I, and right now I am just as deserving as she for the fate that will befall her once Queen Daenerys conquers the city. It would be abhorrent of me to leave Cersei alone to face defeat and most likely death while I live on in blissful harmony with you, as much as I would wish to. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I abandoned her like that, not after everything I have done. I have committed atrocities in my life, as you well know, and I am unworthy of happiness. I know you so well and how you have a beautiful gift of seeing the goodness in people, so I would imagine that you don't agree with me on this matter, and I love you all the more for it, but it is what I believe and what I know to be true.

Despite all this, you must know that my time in this world has not been one I entirely regret, and the main reason for that is the one light that helped me see through the darkness: you. Brienne, my love, you showed me a life worth living. You saw something in me that no one else saw. You gave me a chance of happiness. You showed me hope and love and laughter and the promise of a good life, a life I so wanted us to have together. But that kind of life has never been meant for someone as terrible as me. Today made me realise I've been living in a dream that I do not deserve. It's time I got back to reality and face the consequences for what my bad choices have led this disastrous world to. After all, it was unrealistic of me to ever assume I could escape Cersei and follow a different path, a happier path.

I wish I could not be who I am. I wish I could stay with you, but we both know I'm not worthy of your love. I wish we could have gone to Tarth, you and I, just as we'd planned. I have never been to Tarth, but when I saw it from a distance that one time, it already felt like it meant something to me. I'm so truly, terribly sorry, Brienne. The last thing I want is to cause you pain. You deserve so much better. You are the love of my life, Brienne, and I'm so grateful to you. I was lost before I met you, but you showed me how precious life can be. You showed me a love that was pure and true. There is a part of me that is you now, and I don't think that part will ever die, no matter what happens to me when I get to King's Landing.

Now I must finish this letter, for the time has gone much quicker than I realised, and no doubt you are waiting for me now in our chambers. I look forward to spending one last beautiful night in the company of the woman I love. I hope it will not always be a night that you regret or look on with bitterness. Just know that it will be my last happy memory.

Please believe me when I say that I wish I didn't have to leave you. All I ask is that you don't give up. You must carry on and be the strong woman I know you to be, and from beyond the grave I will do whatever it takes to make up for the pain I have caused you. I hope this letter is a decent way to start that.

Look after Pod. He's grown into a fine young man, and he worships the ground you walk on, just as I do. I enjoyed our time together, us three. We were like what I always imagined a real family would be.

Keep Oathkeeper close to you, always. Use it to remember me by, if you can stomach it and can manage to think back on me with anything close to affection. Know this – my heart is yours. It will always be yours.

I love you, Brienne. I'll see you on the other side.

Yours always,

Jaime


'Lady Brienne, wait. Please.'

Brienne halted in her tracks, and suddenly the red tents and the horses and the soldiers preparing for battle became nothing but a distant blur as she slowly turned back around to see that Jaime had followed her out of the tent. His expression was both dazed and turmoiled as he walked tentatively up to her, and suddenly the siege of Riverrun seemed to briefly disappear from both their minds as they gazed at each other.

It took Jaime a few moments to realise that Brienne, who looked utterly stunned, was waiting for him to speak. 'Y-you can't expect me not to say hello to Podrick before you go, can you?' he said, in a bright voice that sounded quite unlike him.

Out of all the excuses to spend more time with her, Jaime realised he could have chosen one a bit more convincing, but despite Brienne's confused expression, it seemed to work.

'Oh…all right…'

Brienne led him towards Pod, who was stood not far away waiting for her with Bronn. As Jaime greeted Pod and asked after his welfare and training, Brienne knew she ought to be trying to imprint these moments in her memory so that she could look back on them later once she and Jaime had parted ways again…but she could barely focus. It all seemed so surreal, watching Jaime talk amiably with Pod. The two most important people in her life…

'What have you two chaps been talking about then?' Jaime was asking, as Bronn playfully ruffled Pod's hair; Pod had told Brienne a while ago that he and Bronn had once been friends back in King's Landing.

'Ah, same old, same old,' Bronn replied, smirking, 'we were debating whether or not you two were fucking.'

Brienne's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as she stared at Bronn in outrage, and Pod bent his head down low, mortified. Brienne hardly dared look anywhere near towards Jaime, but he didn't seem remotely bothered by Bronn's statement.

'What, in there?!' Jaime said incredulously, glancing back at the tent.

Bronn shrugged. 'Well why not? Better than out here.'

'Seems we missed our opportunity, Lady Brienne,' Jaime said dryly, rolling his eyes, and his heart skipped a beat as he chanced a glance at her and saw that her face was bright red.

Brienne frowned. 'I don't condone such vulgar talk in front of Pod.'

'Perhaps save it for next time you're both in privacy, eh?' Bronn suggested, winking at them both, and Jaime and Brienne flushed.

'Pod, we should get a move on,' Brienne said, embarrassed. 'The Blackfish-'

'-Can surely wait a few more minutes,' Jaime interrupted her firmly, looking almost irritated by her eagerness to get away, and Brienne watched him in surprise as he shook Pod's hand. 'It was good to see you again, Pod. I hope we'll meet again sometime.'

Pod bowed his head, humbled. 'Likewise, milord.'

Jaime then stepped over to Brienne, a troubled look in his eyes. 'Same to you, Lady Brienne,' he said, and as they shook hands they were both met with an urge to never let go.

Glancing over towards Bronn, Jaime then guided Brienne over to the side slightly, away from their curious companions. Brienne's heart was racing as Jaime tried to find the words to say.

'May I write to you?' he asked her. 'Once this is over and we've returned to our homes.'

Brienne raised her eyebrows. 'If we return, and…whatever for?' she asked.

Pod frowned at her as he watched them, unable to help himself listening in. He was confused by Brienne's response. She'd wanted nothing more than to write to Jaime over these past few months. What had changed her mind? Why was she so scared? Deep in thought, Pod then walked away to talk to Bronn; he could tell Brienne and Jaime both wanted some privacy before parting ways.

'Oh, well…sometimes, Lady Brienne, old friends like to correspond with one another,' Jaime said sardonically. 'It's a strange pastime, I know, but-'

But Brienne cut over him. 'Oh do shut up. I only meant that…well, what would be the point?' she asked, her tone somewhat hopeless.

'The point?' Jaime said weakly.

He looked hurt by her words. It left Brienne more baffled than ever.

'Well…is it really worth the risk? Or have you forgotten your sister?' Brienne asked, frowning.

Jaime stared at her for a moment, stunned, as he felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach. Cersei.

'Do you know, for a moment there I had. You're right, it's too much of a risk,' he said heavily. 'I just…it would be nice to know whether you're all right.'

'I'm always all right, Ser Jaime,' Brienne said. 'You needn't worry.'

'I always worry.' He wished she could know just how much.

'Don't be ridiculous,' Brienne muttered. 'You probably haven't thought of me once since the day I left the capital.'

'You don't mean that. You know it's not true.'

Jaime spoke softly and as Brienne's eyes met his she found herself wishing that they could be back in that tent again, just the two of them, away from the prying eyes of all the soldiers wondering who this great oaf of a woman was engaged in such an intense conversation with the legendary Jaime Lannister. She wished so dearly that he would go back to his sarcastic insults and dry remarks; anything other than this sudden tenderness that seemed to have taken over his senses. But then again how could they justify such petty bickering when they both knew that their next meeting could very well be fatal?

Brienne shook her head hopelessly. 'Why are you trying to make this so hard?' she said quietly.

'I'm not,' Jaime murmured, looking down.

'This is an impossible situation. We're fighting on opposites sides, not just here, today, but always. You must see that,' Brienne said imploringly.

'I'm not an idiot,' Jaime snapped, and Brienne frowned.

'Well you've got a funny way of showing it sometimes.'

Jaime stared at her furiously, breathing deeply. They were both aware of how they felt deep down but how could they ever entertain such a notion? How could they ever believe that the other felt the same way? They were too stubborn for that, too strong-willed, too focussed on their duty. If only they could let it go, just for one moment, and do what they truly wanted for once… Perhaps it was not too late for Jaime to do just that.

He sighed. 'Look, I'm not asking for anything, I'm not expecting you to turn your back on Lady Sansa and your cause, I'd never want you to do that. I'm only trying to tell you that I…that I need you,' Jaime snapped irritably, furious with himself for admitting such a thing. 'Your guidance, your friendship, your reassurance…it's not been the same without you-'

But Brienne raised her eyebrows and shook her head at him desperately, wishing he would stop this madness. 'Well you seem to have done a remarkably good job since I left,' she said, looking around at the force he had gathered for the siege.

'Believe me, I've done a very bad job,' Jaime said, his voice breaking. 'Ever since you left me-'

'Left you? You sent me away!' Brienne said incredulously, and the pain in her voice shocked him.

'And do you think I wanted to do that?' Jaime demanded.

There was a stunned pause as the two gazed breathlessly at each other, neither of them knowing quite what to think. It was only then when Brienne realised how she had forgotten, or perhaps not appreciated, just how beautiful he was.

Jaime closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. 'Look, ever since you left, I-' he began, but Brienne cut over him dismissively.

'I can't listen to this-'

'Why not?' Jaime said, grabbing her arm to stop her turning away, and he looked almost insulted as she glared agonizingly back at him. 'I don't understand, have you forgotten everything we've been through together?'

'Of course not!' Brienne said at once, hurt by the mere thought. 'I could never forget.'

'Then what's changed? Why are you being like this?' Jaime asked, bewildered.

'Don't you remember, Ser Jaime? Irritating you is my speciality, you said so yourself once,' Brienne said dryly.

Jaime raised his eyes to the heavens, infuriated with her. 'Look, for whatever reason you seem intent on wanting to be my enemy, so forgive me for not wanting to be yours but-'

'Well forgive me for not wanting Cersei to put your head on a spike!' Brienne snapped.

There was a flushed silence as Brienne looked down, too nervous to meet his gaze. Jaime blinked rapidly at her, a lump rising in his throat.

'Why would you say that?' he asked quietly.

Brienne shook her head sadly. 'Don't play with me. We can't risk any more rumours reaching her like they did before,' she said, 'we both know what she thought of us when I was in King's Landing.'

Jaime tilted his head at her despairingly. 'And what if she was right?'

He spoke the words softly, in a tone that was both desperate and hopeful and yet also full of pain, and they both gazed at each other, shaken by the meaning of his words. They both knew in that moment that there was no question of 'if'. Their reunion today had reminded them of that.

Brienne gazed at him beseechingly. And what if she was? It wouldn't change a thing.

Opening his mouth but unable to form anymore words, Jaime reached out as if to take her hand but before he could an impressive group of yet more Lannister soldiers on their horses came riding loudly past from around the corner; the abruptness and sheer volume of their noisy approach was enough to break Jaime and Brienne from their intense bubble.

Flustered, Brienne turned away from the horses and back to Jaime, though was too nervous to meet his eyes. 'I should go,' she murmured, and began to turn away.

Jaime nodded heavily, accepting defeat. 'Brienne?'

Catching her breath, Brienne turned back to face him. 'Yes?'

'It's been good to see you,' Jaime said, a hint of a strained smile on his face.

Brienne nodded, her lips twitching slightly. 'And you,' she said, before walking back over to her squire. 'Pod, are you coming?'

'Y-yes. I'll be with you in a minute, milady,' Pod replied tentatively, holding back slightly. 'You go on, I'll catch up.'

Brienne considered him for a moment but questioned him no further; with one last look at Jaime, she then turned on her heel and began to walk away, in the direction of Riverrun's castle. Pod glanced awkwardly around at Bronn; realising he wasn't wanted, Bronn held his hands out and sauntered away.

Jaime frowned at Pod as he approached. 'Anything the matter, Podrick?'

'Milord…Lady Brienne would probably not be happy with me giving you this, but…'

It took Jaime a few moments to realise what Pod was holding out to him – a sealed scroll with his name written on it. He recognised the handwriting; after all, Brienne had tried helping him learn how to write with his left hand in secret during her time at King's Landing. Jaime slowly took the scroll from Pod.

'She wrote it not long after we found Lady Sansa, but she…felt it was too great a risk to send it to you in the end,' Pod explained.

'And she was right…as she always is,' Jaime grumbled heavily. 'My sister…checks any ravens that come for my attention. I assume Lady Brienne thinks you got rid of this?'

'Sh-she does, milord,' Pod admitted. 'But I thought…you might want to see it anyway. I don't know what she's written. I just know she was sad she couldn't send it to you.'

Jaime swallowed; he felt incredibly touched. 'Thank you, Podrick,' he said, and his voice broke slightly. 'I'm very grateful.'

'Milord,' Pod said, and with that he bowed his head and began to hurry away after Brienne.

'And Podrick?' Jaime called after him, and Pod turned back around. 'I won't fight her, if this should go south. I can't do it. And today won't be the last day Brienne and I meet, I'm sure of it.'

Pod's expression softened. 'I'm sure she hopes for the very same, milord,' he said.

Jaime smiled back at him and watched as Pod walked away before quickly unsealing the scroll in his hands. He unrolled it and his eyes quickly ran through Brienne's carefully-written words:

Dear Jaime…I hope you are well…I feel I cannot keep such good news to myself, particularly when it concerns you…I hope you are reassured by the fact that your oath to Lady Catelyn remains intact, and I have sworn to keep her safe and remain by her side. This I gladly do in both your name and mine, for our promise to her mother was a joint one…I confess I have been reminded of you and our time together often through my travels up North, and I pray to the gods that you are well in these troubled times…

His eyes widened as his gaze fell to the last sentence on the parchment:

I hope we meet again, for, as much as I hate to admit it, I have missed your company, Jaime.

Heart racing, Jaime looked up from the scroll at once and surveyed the field desperately, but Brienne and Pod had already disappeared amongst the sea of soldiers and red tents. Folding up the parchment and tucking it away in his pocket, Jaime then ran up to his white horse, tied up not far from his tent. He clambered unsteadily onto it and rode on towards the castle.

Despite Brienne's impressive pace, it didn't take Jaime too long to catch up with her. A rare smile broke out on his face the moment he caught sight of her blonde hair towering over the other knights and soldiers walking past her, and he yanked harder at the reigns. As he galloped towards her on his magnificent horse, Brienne turned around and halted in her tracks, shaken by his reappearance. She watched him, her jaw set, as Jaime came to a halt beside her and jumped down from his horse, a strange look of determination on his face. She was unsure whether to be flattered or nervous that he had come after her; had he changed his mind about the deal they had made in the tent? Pod watched tentatively as Jaime approached them both, glancing up at Brienne but unable to determine what was going on in that mysterious closed-off mind of hers.

'Brienne…-' Jaime began, unsure of what words would next come out of his mouth.

'What is it now?' Brienne said irritably, but then she saw the look on his face. 'Leave us, Pod, I'll catch up with you in a minute.'

Smiling slightly to himself, Pod nodded politely and, catching Jaime's eye, turned and walked on. Jaime turned to face Brienne directly. Her expression was both agitated and confused.

'I've missed you as well,' Jaime found himself saying.

Brienne frowned bewilderedly, her heart racing. 'What? What are you talking about?' she asked sharply.

A hint of a smirk on his face, Jaime reached into his pocket and pulled out the scroll. Brienne stared at the letter she had told Pod to burn, and felt her cheeks redden in horror.

'That stupid boy, I told him to-'

'Don't condemn the lad, you said yourself he's been a good squire and a loyal friend,' Jaime said gently. 'And he acts with your best interests at heart, surely you can see that.'

Mortified, Brienne turned away, unable to meet his teasing gaze. 'I don't have time for this. I need to see the Blackfish.'

Jaime scoffed. 'You really have got your armour back on, haven't you?' he said, almost bitterly. 'I…I don't mean…-' He trailed off awkwardly as he gestured the glistening suit of armour he had given her.

'I know what you mean,' Brienne said, her voice quieter than usual, and a hint of a smile appeared on Jaime's lips.

'You always do,' he murmured.

'But you're wrong. I have barely any armour left. You took it away,' she said, and her tone was almost accusing.

Jaime tilted his head at her, watching her carefully as he walked towards her. 'And isn't that a good thing?'

'For who? Us?' Brienne said sceptically, and she frowned as he smiled tenderly at her. 'Why are you smiling?'

'Because I never thought I'd hear you talk about 'us',' Jaime replied, coming to a halt in front of her.

Brienne's nostrils flared; why must he play with her like this? Did he not know what it did to her to hear him say such things and see him look at her in such a way? It wasn't fair. It had been better when he had mocked her in other ways, when he had been cruel. At least then it hadn't given her false hope.

'That's because there's nothing to say,' Brienne said shortly. 'I need to go.'

She turned away but Jaime grabbed her by the arm. 'No, please. Not yet,' he said, and Brienne groaned in frustration.

'Ser Jaime, you-'

'Just Jaime,' Jaime corrected her exasperatedly.

Brienne rolled her eyes at him. 'You gave me your word. I need to do this,' she said, almost desperately, 'for Lady Sansa, I have to try.'

'Very well,' Jaime said, releasing his hold of her. 'Then I need you to do something for me as well.'

'And what might that be?' Brienne asked brusquely, wishing he would just let her go and move on, not just with her mission but also with her life.

Jaime knew that the words he yearned to say were words that could never be unsaid or unforgotten, and yet, in this moment of madness and relief to see her here and longing for her never to leave his side again, he found that he didn't care.

'Wait for me.'

Just those three simple words left Brienne stunned. She didn't know what to think. She didn't know what to feel. All she knew was that Jaime's words and eyes were full of unmistakeable love for her, and it was the most frightening prospect she had ever been faced with. Love was more terrifying and dangerous to her than any battle or enemy could be. You could lose more. You could break more.

Brienne swallowed nervously. 'What, here? At Riverrun?' she said sceptically. 'You know I can't risk that, not when we don't know what will happen tonight-'

'No, I didn't mean here, I meant…'

Jaime trailed off, infuriated with himself. He couldn't describe what he meant. Even after all this time, even after his epiphany in the tent today, he couldn't tell her. He took another step towards her, making both their hearts skip a beat; the last time he had been stood this close to her, they had been beside a moonlit river and he had been helping her wash the bloody scars left by the bear's claws on her neck.

'It won't always be like this, Brienne…' he said, his voice barely more than a whisper, 'with this war…with all these spies watching us…-'

'And with Cersei?' Brienne interrupted in a slightly wavering voice, her eyebrows raised.

Jaime's jaw set oddly as he stared wide-eyed at Brienne, shaken. Cersei. It always came back to his stupid sister in the end, no matter how much he wanted to fight against it, no matter how much he wanted to pretend she wasn't engrained in his life. But she was. And there was no escaping it.

He opened his mouth wordlessly and Brienne gazed back at him with eyes full of pity. She didn't understand him. Something must be wrong, something must have happened. Why else would he speak to her in this way, when he knew he shouldn't and he knew he didn't mean the words? Unless…he did mean it?

Brienne sighed. Whether he meant it or not, it didn't matter. Nothing could ever happen between them. And nothing could ever change from what it was. Cersei Lannister made sure of that.

'Ser Jaime, I…'

'You have to go,' Jaime murmured, nodding heavily as he looked down. 'I know.'

Brienne gazed at him for a moment, stunned. He was usually full of smart quips or witty insults but there was nothing from him. He had removed his mask for only her, he had followed her through the camp to say that he had missed her, to ask her to be there for him when the time of the war was done, and it took everything Brienne had in her to stop herself from pinching her skin to make sure that this was indeed real and not a dream.

'I won't fight you. If it comes to it,' she said quietly, her chin quivering slightly, and she tilted her head at him as he slowly glanced up at her. 'You know I can't fight you.'

Jaime frowned at her teasingly. 'Well you could,' he said, his lips curving up at the side. 'If you wanted to.'

'I don't.'

'Nor I you,' Jaime said softly.

Brienne nodded, relieved. 'If I don't see you again…' she began in a trembling voice.

But Jaime was shaking his head. 'Don't talk like that. You will,' he said firmly.

Brienne nodded shakily, though seemed unable to meet his gaze. She could barely hear the clatter of weapons and horses and soldiers around them. It was all so distant from the two of them right now in this moment. They might as well have been standing in an empty silent field rather than the campsite of a siege.

With a shaking hand, Jaime then reached out slowly with his gloved left hand to cup Brienne's cheek. He'd thought she might recoil, but to his relief she didn't; instead Brienne closed her eyes in something that seemed almost like relief at his touch, and brought her own hand up to rest over his. Brienne's lips trembled slightly as the emotions threatened to overcome her. She had never been touched like this before. Not once had anyone ever held her cheek with such tenderness. Not even her own family. She then opened his eyes, met Jaime's gaze and a hint of a smile fell on both their lips.

It was hard to recognise hope until it was right in front of you. But in that moment, both Jaime and Brienne felt a surge of hope as they looked into each other's eyes.

Jaime's thumb brushed lightly against her cheek as Brienne then took his hand and slowly brought it back down, her fingers lingering on his before she let go. They couldn't be frozen in this moment forever after all. Life must go on…even if they didn't want to face bearing it without each other anymore.

'Good luck, Ser Jaime,' Brienne said, her expression and voice back to their usual formality.

Jaime nodded, understanding that he needed to put his mask back on as well. 'And you, Lady Brienne,' he said, taking a step back.

They stared at each other for a moment, wondering if they were only imagining the slight wetness in the others' eyes. And then, without another word, Brienne gave a quivering nod and turned away to catch up with Pod. Jaime could only hope that, with a bit of luck, Brienne would succeed in her mission tonight and there would be no deadly battle to get caught up in. She would get away safe and sound…and that would be that. The parting of the ways. For good this time, most likely. Unsure of how to process the emotions exploding within him, Jaime turned and watched Brienne as she walked away down the campsite, leaving him alone once again…the one light in his life leaving him once again to the darkness.


~ Present Day ~

The edge of the cliff was calm and peaceful; it was a somewhat strange sensation for Brienne now. Her eyes squinted against the sunlight as she looked out to the sea and far beyond at the horizon. She couldn't tell where the cloudless blue sky ended and the crystal-clear blue sea began. Her childhood memories of living here had not done this place justice; it was far more stunning than Brienne had remembered.

'I saw Tarth once, a while ago…It looked beautiful…'

She closed her eyes, content, and breathed in the aroma of salty sea spray as the waves crashed onto the wall of the cliff-face below and the wind ruffled her hair.

'It's probably worth another visit…Perhaps…when all this is over…we could go together…'

Brienne still saw him, everywhere she went, even with her eyes closed. Only, rather than being consumed by bitterness or anger or hatred, now only tenderness and love and nostalgia filled her mind as she cast her thoughts back to those memories that she so dearly wished she could relive, but could now only cherish.

She would think of the simple things. The silent looks of understanding they shared across a crowded room. The way he inclined his head for her to join him, that glistening smirk in his eyes and twisted smile. The way they had fought side-by-side in the Battle of Winterfell, united in their one purpose to defend the castle and save each other. The tenderness of his awestruck gaze whenever he looked upon her from the moment she'd first addressed him as 'Ser Jaime'. The way Jaime lost all sense of composure and stopped holding his feelings in when he'd knighted her…how startled he had been when he'd remembered that others were in the room as well. The way his voice had grown deep with pride and love as he spoke those momentous words…'Arise, Brienne of Tarth…a knight of the Seven Kingdoms…'

Brienne took a deep breath. 'I don't know if you're there. I don't know whether I believe anymore that life goes on after death, but I'd very much like to,' she said quietly, gazing out in wonder at the glistening ocean. 'It's been a while and…today's the first day since you left when I haven't…despaired.'

She smiled softly to herself as she held the urn carefully in her arms. Looking out at the vastness of the sparkling blue water and the horizon and the glowing sunset far ahead, how could Brienne not believe in the gods, in something bigger than the world they knew here? How could she not believe that there was a life after death, in something as magical and beautiful as the very real and mesmerizing sight before her?

'You always wanted to come back to Tarth and see it properly. I know it's not in quite the way you wanted but…well, Tyrion and I thought you would appreciate it all the same, that…that this would be the place you'd choose,' Brienne said, her hand stroking the urn slightly as a lump rose in her throat. 'Tyrion's all right, you know…and he and Pod are taking good care of me, just as you asked them to. We all…love and miss you terribly.'

Her voice cracked and she stopped for a moment, wondering if this was stupid, if she were just talking to herself and to the wind for no reason at all. But then Brienne thought of the way Jaime's eyes crinkled when he smiled at her and the feel of his hand in hers and she carried on.

'I'm Lady Commander now. Can you believe it? The first woman in history to be in charge of the Kingsguard, and I couldn't have done it without you. Well…or myself either. I'm not sure whether you'd have mocked me relentlessly about it or told everyone with pride. Actually no…I…I do know,' she murmured, and she closed her eyes at the thought, preventing her tears from falling. 'I got your letter, Jaime. I think I know it off by heart now, actually. Th-thank you for that.'

Brienne exhaled deeply as the wind soared through her hair and blew her cloak back. He wouldn't want her to cry on this day, she knew that. He wouldn't want her to mourn for the rest of her days and lose herself.

'Jaime, if you can hear me…know that I forgive you. Know that…my heart is yours as well. It will always be yours,' Brienne said, her gaze earnest and loving as she looked out to the wind and sea and sky. 'And know that I'll be all right. I don't know if I'll ever love again the way I have loved you, but it doesn't matter. I experienced something wonderful with you, something that made me so happy. You showed me I was capable and worthy of being loved. And I'll always be grateful to you for that. Oh, and one more thing…know that you are a good man.'

A tear escaped Brienne's eye as she took a step closer to the edge of the cliff. The sun was setting for him now.

It's time.

She would always remember the love they had shared and she would always miss him. But today was the day she would let him go. And Brienne felt strangely at peace with that.

'Goodbye, my love. You'll always be with me,' she murmured. 'And I can't wait to see you again, whenever that may be.'

She held out the urn and Jaime Lannister's ashes were thrown to the wind. Brienne watched with tear-filled eyes and a triumphant smile on her trembling lips as they twirled and danced with the breeze.

You're free now, Jaime.

Some of the ashes were scattered across the sky whereas others were taken far down to the depths of the ocean below, the waters that sparkled in the same blue as the eyes Jaime had loved so dearly. He was at one with the sea now. The sea of Brienne's home. The Sapphire Isle.

Although of course, Brienne now had a different home that she would soon be returning to in a few days. A home with Pod and Tyrion and her new friends in her Kingsguard. Once she was back in King's Landing, her first job would be to go back to the room containing the Book of Brothers and begin her own entry about Brienne of Tarth, the first Lady Commander and the first woman knight in the Seven Kingdoms, knighted by the late and honourable Ser Jaime Lannister. That room and book reminded her of him just as vividly, but in a good way now.

A strange feeling of hope and determination filled Brienne as she watched the remaining ashes toss and turn through the wind and soar out into the horizon as the orange sun set. It wasn't going to be easy, living without him. But she had done it before, and she could do it now. If Jaime were here, he would tell her that life was for living, that she needed to seize her chances and build new dreams and teach a whole host of young girls who were just like her how to become great knights like herself. And perhaps he would watch over her while she did just that.

She would carry on, just like he wanted her to. And even though he wasn't here to hold her or kiss her or encourage her or make her laugh or drive her insane anymore, Brienne could still sense him here with her. She could hear his voice, and smell his scent. She could imagine a shadow of his ghost stood behind her, her constant companion, her touchstone. And she would hold him in her heart forever.

She hoped she would do enough to uphold his legacy and do the good in the world that he had longed to do as Lord Commander. She hoped that the world would know his story. And she couldn't wait to see him again someday. It would only be a matter of time.


Dawn was just beginning to break as Brienne and Pod rowed away slowly down the river. It was eerily quiet; the castle they had just escaped seemed to have been taken with little effort. Brienne sighed sadly, wishing she had managed to convince the Blackfish to leave with her and Pod. No doubt he would be dead by now.

She had been disappointed with herself on many occasions, but tonight's events seemed to hit Brienne particularly hard, and as they rowed further away from Riverrun she found herself unable to stop contemplating on her failure to complete the mission Sansa had given her.

'If you think I'm abandoning my family's seat on the Kingslayer's word of honour, you're a bloody fool!' Ser Brynden Tully had snapped at her.

'Riverrun cannot stand against the Lannisters and the Freys-' Brienne had protested.

'We can stand longer than your one-handed friend thinks we can,' Tully had said proudly.

'He's not my friend.'

Looking back, Brienne wasn't sure why she had said that so defensively, as if offended by the mere suggestion. Perhaps she had subconsciously been trying to show the Blackfish that she was not in league with his enemy, to win his favour? Or perhaps she had been thinking that to call Jaime a mere 'friend' was an insult in comparison to what they truly were to one another.

'No?' Tully had said challengingly, rounding on her with raised eyebrows. 'Who gave you permission to cross the siege line and enter the castle? Who gave you that sword with the gold lion on the pommel?'

His words had almost made Brienne smile. They'd made her realise that Jaime's respect for her was not a secret or anything he was ashamed of; he'd given her that sword knowing people would notice. He wanted his admiration of Brienne of Tarth to be known to the world. The thought made Brienne burst with pride, and yet somehow she had managed to keep her guard up and glare back at Ser Tully in defiance.

'Ser Jaime kept his word to your niece Catelyn Stark. He sent me to find Sansa, to help her as Catelyn wanted. He gave me this sword to protect her,' she said fiercely. 'That is what I have done and I will continue to do until the day I die.'

Brienne smiled slightly. Even though she had failed in her attempt to persuade the Blackfish to surrender his castle, at least she had those words to fall back on in the midst of her despair and shame. She would find some other way to bring forces to march north to Sansa's aid. She would do all she could to uphold her and Jaime's oath to her mother. Otherwise what had it all been for?

'You'll serve Sansa far better than I ever could.'

Brienne truly hoped the Blackfish's parting words were right.

Meanwhile, back at the castle he had now taken charge of, Jaime had just stepped out onto battlements, grateful for some peace and quiet so that he could watch the sun rise. He had just been informed that the Blackfish had been killed in the brief fight that had ensued when the Lannister forces had infiltrated the castle. He couldn't identify the strange feelings stirring within him. He felt somewhat pleased that the Blackfish had been the only casualty of the night; it meant he had kept his promise to Brienne. Even though she had failed in persuading the Blackfish to lead him and his forces north, what would the point have been in a bloody, brutal battle? It would have achieved nothing. To take the castle without bloodshed and handle everything peacefully was something Jaime would never have done a few years ago, but he was a changed man now, and it was Brienne he had to thank for that.

He looked down and sighed. Why did victory taste so bitter? He should be triumphant, he should be celebrating his achievement with a toast alongside his fellow knights. He had accomplished taking Riverrun in his sister's name…he could now go back to Cersei. And yet he felt hollow. The only thing he felt good about was the avoidance of bloodshed.

Jaime walked over to the edge of the balustrade and rested his golden hand there on the stone as he frowned down at the waters below, deep in thought, and listened to the crickets chirping while they woke.

But then he heard a quiet splash somewhere in the distance.

Curious, Jaime slowly looked up and glanced far ahead down the river; even in this dark early morning light, he could make out the small rowboat sailing away from the castle. His eyes widened and his lips parted in shock as he spotted the familiar pair sat in the boat and an almost inaudible gasp escaped his mouth. It felt as if his heart had jumped out of his chest. It was her, of course it was her – who else could it be? He recognised her bulky frame, her blonde hair in the light of dawn, and the young squire pulling at the oars. He exhaled deeply as an overwhelming surge of relief flooded through him.

Realising suddenly that he needed to check that he was alone, Jaime hastily glanced to the side to check that no one else could see the departing boat. He knew that if any soldiers or knights had been there on the ramparts with him, they would have expected him to sound the alarm and send his men after them – it was his duty. After all, she was serving Sansa Stark, a suspect in Joffrey's murder; technically that made her an enemy of House Lannister. It wouldn't even be hard to capture them, as Pod was rowing so very slowly.

But she's not my enemy.

He couldn't do it. He had to let her go.

Jaime turned back to face the boat and felt the warmth rekindle in his heart as he watched her. Brienne…the one person who had found the light within Jaime that he had never been able to find…a reminder of the better person he had briefly become due to her influence. Perhaps he could be that person again now. It was somewhat bittersweet to realise that he was able to let her get safely away, and yet he had lost his change to speak with her again. He wished it would go away…all the things he should have said, all the things they should have done, all the things they could have been together…would those thoughts ever leave him now, after seeing her again? She had relit that spark today by coming into that tent and now Jaime was hopeless against it.

As if she could sense him watching, Brienne then turned around in the rowboat and looked back up at the castle where she saw Jaime's familiar silhouette up on the ramparts immediately, his eyes on her. Her lips parted and her heart leapt as she gazed over at him through the morning mist, wondering for one mad second whether he would tell his men to stop them leaving. But of course he would never do that. It was Jaime, after all.

Jaime's lips smiled ever so slightly as they gazed longingly at each other from afar. He hoped that this wouldn't become something of a tradition. The last time they had bid farewell to one another, Brienne had also looked back as she'd left, urging Jaime to shout out his feelings from the rooftops. But something held him back every time. There were so many things Jaime wished he could say, so many ways to make it a better goodbye than the one he had given her earlier in the campsite, and yet she was already far away and he was stuck up here with his Lannister mask back on. And so all Jaime could do was nod and slowly raise his golden hand in a silent farewell.

Her eyes suddenly rather wet, Brienne raised her gloved hand and waved back, almost as if in salute, as the gulf between them grew wider by the moment. She knew from his wave as he continued to watch her move further and further away from him that he was letting her go, and it left her in deep thought about whether they would ever see each other again.

Why did it hurt so much every time they said goodbye? Why did it only get so much worse with each farewell? Why could they both never find the words, and now it was too late? Unable to bear it any longer, Brienne slowly turned back to face Pod, her brow creased as she thought of how lonely Jaime had looked up there on the ramparts, of how lonely he must be, of how she wished they didn't have to part ways.

The cold morning light only highlighted the look of devastation on Jaime's face; it made him look almost like a ghost. He felt a pang in his chest as he continued to watch Brienne sail away. He knew that, no matter how devoted he was to Cersei, the woman who knew him best, the only woman who saw the good in him, was leaving for good, and it felt as if a part of his soul was sailing away with her. He would only be whole when they met again. If they met again.

Brienne mattered so dearly to him, and Jaime wished he had realised it sooner. He wished he could remove himself from his sister's twisted, ruthless claws. He wished he could embrace the sense of hope and self-betterment that emitted from Brienne whenever he was stood, awestruck, in her presence. But he was utterly helpless.

He would always be the Kingslayer. But at least Brienne had reminded him of how things could have been different.

'Are you not worried he'll send his men after us?' Pod asked Brienne worriedly, frowning as he rowed on down the river.

'No, I'm not. He's letting us go,' Brienne murmured.

The unusually gentle tone in her voice made Pod look up. 'You're very sure of him. The Kingslayer.'

'Jaime. Ser Jaime,' she corrected him.

'Sorry. I didn't know…when you and I first met, back at King's Landing, I never knew…' Pod trailed off awkwardly and then cleared his throat. 'I didn't realise just how close you and Ser Jaime were.'

Brienne swallowed as she avoided his careful gaze. 'I'm not sure I did, either,' she said thoughtfully. 'Or perhaps I just forgot. It's been quite some time.'

'I'm sorry I didn't burn your letter,' Pod mumbled, grimacing.

'You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm glad he's read it,' Brienne said quietly, watching the ripples of the water surrounding them. 'It could be the last chance to…well…never mind. That's all over now.'

Pod gave her a reassuring look. 'You'll meet again.'

'Possibly.'

Her brow creased, Brienne slowly turned back around for one last look. The fog hadn't quite separated them from view yet, and even from this distance she could still see Jaime atop the ramparts of the castle, watching them sail away. She could feel his eyes on her. She could feel his tender smile.

She could feel him saying, 'We'll see each other again.'

And she smiled wordlessly back at him. I know we will.

The early morning mist then clouded over them, blocking Jaime and the castle from view. But for some reason Brienne was no longer worried. She knew she would see him again, in some form or other, wherever and whenever that would be. And she could not wait.

Jaime exhaled shakily as a tear escaped his eye and trickled down his cheek. He couldn't bear it, to watch her sail away, left with nothing but longing thoughts of all that might have been. He could have told her how he'd truly felt earlier in the campsite, he could have left with her and never returned to his post or to the capital. If only he'd been brave enough to seize his chance. Strong enough. Worthy enough.

If only.

The rowboat had disappeared from view around the riverbend now but it didn't matter. He closed his eyes and all he could see was Brienne. He had let her steal into his melancholy heart, and now there was nothing he could do to shake her away from it.

'Who was that?'

Jaime turned around in shock; Bronn had climbed the steps to the ramparts and was stood lounging against the open archway with raised eyebrows. Jaime couldn't tell how long he'd been stood there but from Bronn's expression he guessed it had been long enough.

'In the boat, getting away – who was it?' Bronn asked again, his tone brusque and unimpressed.

There was a short pause.

'That was Brienne of Tarth,' Jaime said, and his voice rang with pride.

From the fierce, almost triumphant look on Jaime's face, Bronn knew that there was no more to be said. He could see it, as plain as the nose on his face. Jaime loved her. Of course he was letting her go. A rare genuine smile fell momentarily on Bronn's face before he nodded in understanding and walked away, leaving Jaime back to his peaceful solitude.

Sighing, Jaime turned back to the river and undid the straps around his right wrist so that he could remove his golden hand, which had been paining him all night; it was nice to let his stump breathe occasionally. A slight smile fell on his face as he looked down at the ugly gnarled stump before gazing wistfully back out at the misty river. He and Brienne would see each other again, he was sure of it. He would wait for her, just as she would wait for him. Their time would come. Some day, surely, they would be a time for Jaime and Brienne.

A time for us, they both thought longingly.

And it would be absolutely wonderful.


THE END


Hope you all enjoyed! As I've said, the alternative ending will be coming very soon (which FYI will be taking place immediately after the events of Chapter 24: 'A Good Man').

For anyone interested or anyone wanting to refresh etc., I've listed the chronological order of all the flashbacks below:

2x07 (Jaime and Brienne Meet) – Chapter 14

2x08 (Jaime and Brienne Begin Their Journey) – Chapter 4

2x10 (Brienne Kills the Stark Men) – Chapter 8

3x02 (Jaime Talks to Brienne About Renly) – Chapter 23

3x02 (The Swordfight) – Chapter 19

3x03 (Jaime and Brienne Are Captured and Ride Together) – Chapter 15

3x03 (Jaime Loses His Hand) – Chapter 2

3x04 (Jaime Fights Locke's Men) – Chapter 3

3x05 (Arrival at Harrenhal) – Chapter 21

3x05 (Jaime's Confession in the Bathtub) – Chapter 11

3x05 (Brienne Comforts Jaime After the Bath) – Chapter 24

3x06 (Dining with Roose Bolton) – Chapter 12

3x07 (Jaime Bids Farewell to Brienne at Harrenhal) – Chapter 13

3x07 (Jaime Realises He Must Go Back for Brienne) – Chapter 22

3x07 (Jaime Saves Brienne from the Bear Pit) – Chapters 9 & 10 (continued flashback between chapters)

3x08-3x09 (Jaime and Brienne Travel from Harrenhal to King's Landing) – Chapters 25 & 26 (continued flashback between chapters)

3x10 (Jaime and Brienne Arrive in King's Landing) – Chapter 5

4x01 (Discussing Sansa's Fate in the Gardens) – Chapter 16

4x02 (Joffrey's Wedding) – Chapter 6

4x03 (Brienne Consoles Jaime After Joffrey's Death) – Chapter 18

4x04 (Jaime Gives Brienne Oathkeeper and New Armour) – Chapter 28

4x04 (Jaime Sends Brienne Away from King's Landing) – Chapter 7

4x05-6x07 (Brienne and Jaime's Time Away From Each Other) – Chapter 17 (Brienne's POV) & Chapter 20 (Jaime's POV)

6x08 (Jaime and Brienne Reunite at Riverrun) – Chapter 27

6x08 (Jaime and Brienne Part Ways and Wave Goodbye) – Chapter 30

7x07 (The Summit at the Dragonpit) – Chapter 1

7x07 (Jaime Leaves Cersei and King's Landing) – Chapter 8

8x04 (The Last Conversation: Jaime Comes Back to Brienne to Explain and Say Goodbye) – Chapter 29