Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.
(A/N: All bolded sections that aren't attacks are Emu using his powers to rewrite reality.)
...
Kamen Rider 1 had put up a good fight, but Rock Great Leader finally had Takeshi Hongo right where he wanted him; at his feet. Or rather, underneath one of his feet, as he slowly pressed down, trying to crush the first Rider into the ground. "I can't believe it… finally, after all this time, after all these years, I have you, Hongo!" He gloated, exerting more pressure.
Hongo gasped in pain, arms trembling. Even with his incredible cyborg strength, augmented to incredible levels by his Power-Up form, the sheer weight of Rock Great Leader's foot was almost too much for him to bear. "Even if I die… It will be a meaningless victory…" He grunted, knees shaking. "I am not the only Rider anymore… If I fall, I shall only inspire others to take my place…"
"Perhaps so," Rock Great Leader admitted. "Some comfort that will be for you, though, because you will not be here to see it."
He prepared to stomp down with all his might and reduce his greatest adversary to a smear beneath his heel…
"JUMBO RIDER PUNCH!"
Without warning, a colossal fist slammed into his face, twisting his head back and sending chips of stone flying as the giant staggered back, much to Hongo's relief. "What?! Who dares… YOU-?!"
"That's right! Me!" Declared a dark green Kamen Rider with lighter green stripes running horizontally across his suit, his mask vaguely resembling a grasshopper. He was also just about the same height as Rock Great Leader. "Kouji Segawa! Kamen Rider J!" He struck a pose.
"J?!" Rock Great Leader bellowed in disbelief. "But how?! I thought you could only grow to 40 m!"
"I have spent the last several years undergoing intensive training on monster island, achieving greater mastery than ever before of the J power," Kouji explained. "You would know that already if you bothered to read the newsletter."
"Most impressive, Kouji!" Hongo called up to the giant Rider.
"And I'm just getting started!" Kouji proclaimed. "Among other things, I've learned how to share the J power! Behold!"
He made a J sign with his hands, and a J-shaped beam of red energy shot down to strike Hongo. The first Rider glowed with the life force energy of all living things and spirits nearby, and he suddenly shot up in height, becoming just as tall as Kouji and Rock Great Leader. Hongo looked himself over in amazement. "Incredible… I never believed something like this was possible!"
"Neither did I!" Rock Great Leader moaned, suddenly realizing this wasn't going to be as easy as he thought. "This can't be real! This has to be a nightmare!"
Hongo grinned. "This is a nightmare, old foe! For you! Rider Punch!"
Kiriya, who had just arrived, stared upwards in disbelief as the colossal Hongo delivered a terrific haymaker to Rock Great Leader that sent him staggering back, the earth shaking with each step. "… Okay, was Emu just try to get me out of the way or something? Because I SERIOUSLY don't see how I could possibly be of any help here."
"Oh, sorry, didn't notice you there. Here, take some Jpower," Kouji said, making another hand sign and firing an energy beam at Kiriya.
The much, much smaller Rider glowed as his body soaked up the incredible energy of the planet. Just like Hongo, he surged upwards, quickly matching the other two Riders in height. "Okay, now THAT'S what I'm talking about!" He cried joyfully.
"Three of you?!" Rock Great Leader cried in disbelief. "And it was bad enough when there were only two of you in the past!"
"More than just three!" Koji declared. "Because I decided to bring along a few friends…"
…
In an explosion of golden energy, GekiLeopard, RinLion, and RinChameleon were flung back, dissolving in bursts of gold, black, and green flame as Miki, Reo, and Mele hit the ground, groaning in pain, their bodies smoking from the impact of Long's attack. Cackling madly, the immortal Dragon loomed over them, multiple jaws opened wide as he charged up energy to finish them off. "I had so much fun killing you and your whore before, Rio," Long gloated. "It will be a pleasure to destroy you again!"
"Death holds no terror for us, Long," Rio said calmly, grabbing Mele's hand. "So long as we are together, nothing else matters."
"Also, we can basically just waltz in and out of the afterlife whenever we want, so this is really nothing more than a minor inconvenience," Mele added.
"It's more than a minor inconvenience to me!" Miki protested.
Long grinned, flashing half a dozen mouths full of giant fangs at them. "Then I shall simply kill you again and again and again until you never bother me again!" He prepared to swallow them whole…
When there was a small quake. Then another, and another. A shadow fell over Long as a towering form loomed over him. "What? Who is-"
His words died in his many throats as he turned one of his heads back to glance at the new player. "… No. No, it can't be!"
But it was.
"SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!"
Godzilla, King of the Monsters, had arrived, and he was NOT impressed by this pathetic King Ghidorah knockoff.
…
"GODZILLA?!" Rock Great Leader cried in disbelief as the hundred-plus meter tall monster began to attack the smaller Dragon.
"And not just him!" Kouji said proudly.
…
Brajira of the Asura (as his newest form had been dubbed) laughed madly, his five voices blending together in stereo as he hopped back and forth, lashing out with the weapons in his many appendages to strike at Enter and Escape's mecha again and again. The two AI desperately tried to fight back, but the mutated Angel was moving too chaotically for them to accurately predict his movements and were as likely to hit each other as they were to hit him, and even when they DID land a blow, he didn't even seem to notice. "I am the Messiah!" He screamed as he headbutted the Omega Megazord, then whirled around and hit the Zeta Megazord with a dropkick. "Messiah! Messiah! Messiah!"
"The only Messiah we know is our creator," Enter grunted, the numerous cannons on his robot's body opening fire. Brajira giggled as his multiple appendages flailed about, deflecting some of the shots, but not seeming to particularly notice or care as others ravaged his grotesque form. "And you aren't even close to being as stupid as he was!"
"Hey! Don't talk about Papa like that!" Escape snapped, digging her blades into the amalgam's back. Brajira's head spun around, lasers firing from his multiple eyes, but she jerked her head out of the way just in time.
"Oh, come on, you know as well as I do that Messiah was a moron!" Enter retorted, lashing out with his claws at Brajira's chest, sparks flying. "Do you know how many times I tried to convince him that it might be a better idea to just stockpile Enetron then launch a huge invasion instead of wasting our time on weekly attacks which always resulted in the Go-Busters beating us and costing us more and more resources, only for him to whine that he didn't want to wait that long, he wanted to destroy the world NOW?! Honestly, I can't believe I didn't turn on him sooner!" He frowned. "And besides, why are you defending him? I thought you were upset at him for eating you!"
"Well, yeah, but-" Escape started, only for Brajira to start screaming again.
"Messiah! I am the Messiah!" The broken Angel howled before firing his BuredoLaunchers, the missiles exploding the instant they left their ports – – if not before – – wracking all three of them with explosions. Enter and Escape cried out as they were flung back, their mecha shaking and sparking as large sections of their frames exploded. Brajira, not seeming to notice the fact that he'd blown off some of his wings and two of his arms and destroyed a couple of his faces, kept laughing as he charged in two finish them…
When suddenly, a brilliant light shone down on them from above. "What? What? What?" Brajira stammered, his heads rotating wildly in confusion. "I am the Messiah! What is this light? I am the Messiah!"
"I'm… Wondering the same thing," said the perplexed Enter.
Escape gasped and pointed upwards. "Enter, look!"
Enter looked. An absolutely gargantuan moth was hovering overhead, brilliant light shining from its beautifully colored wings, a gentle song emanating from her mandibles as she gazed down at them all with big blue compound eyes shimmering with love. Scales shed from her wings sprinkled downwards to envelop the two Megazords, the robots glowing as their wounds closed up and the damage repaired itself.
"Enter… Who… WHAT…" Escape stammered in disbelief.
"It can only be Mothra," Enter whispered in reverence. "Queen of the Monsters!"
"Messiah. M-m-Messiah," Brajira stammered, heads rocking back and forth. "I am… You… You are the…"
Dropping whatever weapons he had left, he spread his remaining limbs, standing perfectly still, bathed in Mothra's light. "Heal me. Heal me. Heal me."
Mothra trilled and gracefully glided down towards Brajira. Her wings spread wide, then folded around the mutated Angel as she wrapped him in her embrace…
And drove the stinger at the end of her thorax into his abdomen.
Brajira closed his many eyes and sighed blissfully, tears streaming down his warped cheeks. "Thank you. Messiah."
Mothra unfolded her wings and drew back, ripping out her stinger and disemboweling Brajira. The angel collapsed to his knees, disintegrating into a billion points of light.
"… Enter, do you think she can be our Mama?" Escape whispered in wonder as, with a graceful flap of her wings, the great moth rose back into the air.
"I… Am having a difficult time thinking of reasons she can't be," Enter confessed, baffled. He thought for a moment. "I think that would make Godzilla our new papa, though."
Escape considered this. "I can live with that."
…
At the same time, the fight against the Giga Kyoryu Greeed, as Maki's newest form had been dubbed was not going well. The Terror Dragon, which had been carrying Ryubee, Kengo, Gamou, and Date had been shot down (again), removing them from the fight, and leaving Eiji, Gentaro, W, and Goto to try and dogfight it with assistance from Ranru and Mei in their respective Pteranodons while Amy did what she could to support them from the ground in Dricera. Frustratingly, none of their attacks seemed to be having much effect. Whenever any damage was inflicted against the monster, it managed to heal almost instantly by generating more Cell Medals to mend its wounds. Philip had identified the giant horrifying doll on the beast's back as the source of the monster's power, but there was some sort of a barrier around it that they couldn't seem to penetrate.
Also, Amy couldn't stop complaining about how little help she was in Dricera, or how Maki's new form looked almost exactly like the Space War God Voldos.
"I mean, seriously! Other than him being a darker shade of purple, missing a few heads, and his central head looking like that creeper Maki, he looks JUST like him!" She ranted.
"Amy, none of us are saying he DOESN'T look like Voldos, we're just a little occupied right now trying to take him down," Ranru said testily, barely steering her Pteranodon out of the way of an energy blast from one of the abomination's many heads.
"And why is this such a big deal anyway?" Mei asked, strafing along the beast's back in her Pteranodon, her lasers ineffectually bouncing off the shield on the doll. "We've all fought recolors on more than one occasion."
"Yeah, but usually not a recolor of a giant one-of-a-kind monster like Voldos," Amy griped as Kengo and Date, riding on Dricera's back, fired at the beast's underbelly. "That just feels lazy. Like Great Eyezer's initial form basically just being a recolor of Kamen Rider Extremer."
"Oh, you heard about that?" Gamou, also riding on Dricera's back, asked.
"I read the newsletters."
"Okay, guys, we aren't making much headway," Goto spoke up as he dodged a swipe from one Maki's talents, blasting it to pieces with his Breast Cannon, only for the claw to reassemble itself seconds later and take another swipe at him. "If anyone has any bright ideas, now's the time!"
"Oh, I know!" Gentaro suggested, slashing off one the monster's wings. It instantly grew back and tried to bat him away. "Why don't we all attack the doll at once? Maybe our combined strength can break the barrier!"
"Philip?" Shotaro asked.
Philip shrugged his half of the body. "Seems as plausible as anything else."
The four Riders and two Pteranodons backed off a respectable distance. As Maki roared and fired purple energy beams from all four of his mouths, the heroes attacked, Mei and Ranru firing lasers and sonic attacks as the Riders primed their finishing moves.
"Cell Bash!"
"Golden Xtreme!"
"Strain Doom!"
"Rider Ultimate Crusher!"
Goto and Eiji fired tremendously powerful energy blasts from their weapons as both W and Gentaro launched into Rider Kicks. The fire from the Pteranodons blasted a path through Maki's energy beams, allowing the dual blasts and double Rider Kicks to impact the chest of the doll…
Only for a purple energy field to flare up across the doll. W, Gentaro, and the energy blasts clashed for several seconds with the barrier, trying to get through…
Only to be repelled in a powerful explosion that flung them away. They could've sworn they heard the damn thing laughing at them.
Two of the atrocity's claws lashed out, snatching the Riders out of the air. As their comrades looked on in horror, the monster opened two of its jaws wide, bringing the dazed Riders towards them with the intent to eat them alive…
When suddenly streams of fire, ice, and electricity lanced down from the heavens, striking the Giga Kyoryu Greeed square in the back, obliterating its lower half and nearly destroying the barrier around the doll. Startled, Maki opened its claws, allowing W and Gentaro to escape. "What… What was…" Shotaro stammered.
"Guys! Look!" Eiji cried in excitement, pointing upwards.
"I think the Calvary has just arrived!" Mei agreed.
The clouds parted, and three colossal winged figures descended: Pteraiden-Oh, YokuRyu-Oh, and a monster that could only be the Fire Demon, Rodan!
"The Thundering Brave, Kyoryu Gold, has arrived!" Declared Pteraiden-Oh's pilot, the samurai Utsusemimaru.
"Now you will feel the shock of fate from meeting me!" Added YokuRyu-Oh's pilot, Princess Oto of the Sea Ryusoul Tribe, also known as Ryusoul Cyan.
Rodan simply shrieked, incapable of speaking human tongue.
"Rodan? This is unexpected," the surprised Mei remarked.
"Yeah, he just showed up on our way here, and since he didn't seem like he wanted to fight, we decided to let him come along," Utsusemimaru explained.
"Plus, he's so cute!" Oto gushed.
"Not cuter than me, right?!" Her concerned partner cried.
Maki, having finished regenerating his back half, attacked, firing four purple energy streams at the three Pteranodons. The elemental trio responded with incredibly powerful blasts of fire, ice, and lightning, and the Guardian Beast and Bakuryu Pteranodons flew over to join in, their combined power blasting through the Greeed's attack, annihilating its wings, and flinging it down to the ground, a significant part of its body obliterated.
It lurched to its feet, its body already beginning to regenerate…
Only to roar in pain as Dricera thrust her tail into its side, the drill spinning and sending Cell Medals flying as she pierced the beast's flesh, Date happily catching as many as he could and opening fire alongside Kengo, Ryubee, and Gamou. "Finally! I get to do something!" Amy cried ecstatically.
Maki roared and tried to dislodge her from his side, only for the ground around him to start shaking as the Guardian Beast and Bakuryu Triceratops, Triken, Guardian Beast and Bakuryu Tyrannosaurus, Gabutyra, and Tyramigo converged from all sides, the biomechanical dinosaurs tearing into the Greeed with tooth and claw and horn, ripping it to pieces faster than it could regenerate and preventing it from getting away.
As the monster flailed and roared in agony, futilely firing purple energy blasts everywhere, Rodan swooped down, grabbed the doll by its shoulders, and ripped it off the back of the Greeed, carrying it high into the air. Once he was high enough, he dropped the doll, and concentrated an intense fire beam on it. Pteraiden-Oh and YokuRyu-Oh joined in with their elemental streams, bathing the doll in their energy and causing the barrier surrounding it to shatter, enveloping it in elemental fury.
"Cell Bash!"
"Golden Xtreme!"
"Grand of Rage!"
"Rider Ultimate Crusher!"
The four Riders attacked once again, though this time Eiji switched his weapon to its ax form rather than firing it as a bazooka. All four attacks hit the doll, its grotesque form wreathed in fire, ice, and electricity, and the hideous thing exploded, fragments of broken Cell Medals flying everywhere thanks to the destructive power of the MedaGaburyu.
On the ground, the Giga Kyoryu Greeed stiffened and suddenly dissolved into millions of Cell Medals, which rained down all over the place. Goto jumped off of Dricera and frantically started running back and forth with his milk jar to catch as many as he could.
Rodan roared triumphantly, firing a stream of fire into the sky. The other dinosaur mecha joined in. (With the roars, not the elemental streams. Not all of them could do that.)
"I hope this time, you really DO find completion, Maki," Eiji said quietly.
"And never bother us, or anyone else, ever again," W agreed.
"Until you're inevitably resurrected for some other crossover event, and we have to kill you again," Gentaro spoke up. The others glared at him. "What? You know it could happen."
None of them had a counter for that.
…
"Mothra and Rodan too? Seriously?!" Rock Great Leader demanded, incredulous. "And I thought it was bad enough that we had all these Sentai and other Riders here, and the Spider-people! What's next? Ultraman? Gamera? The precures?!"
…
Not too far away…
"Do you think we should help them?" The giant of light asked the very pretty girl in a bright and colorful dress with an improbable hairstyle standing on his shoulder.
The large turtle monster standing next to him roared.
"He said at this point, we'd probably only get in the way," the girl translated.
The giant of light nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right."
…
Meanwhile, Dokoku was locked in combat with the Shinkengers. The snapping jaws of the Kyoryu Origami lashed out again and again, only for the Gedoushu warlord to deflect each strike with swings of his sword, laughing madly as he ignored the discs being fired by Daigoyo at his back. "It's no use, samurai!" He roared, slashing his blade across the Kyoryu Samurai Ha-Oh's chest, sparks and pieces of metal flying as the massive mecha was forced back. "I remember all your tricks from the last time! This time, I will not be so easily defeated!"
"Last time, I wasn't there to help!" Daigoyo proclaimed, valiantly jumping onto Dokoku's back to try and grapple him.
"Get off!" Dokoku snarled, angrily swinging his swords at his back, not caring if he damaged himself so long as he got the irritating pest off.
"Now's our chance! Quickly, Takeru, while he's distracted!" Ryunosuke cried.
"Everyone, attack!" Their Lord proclaimed, brandishing his sword.
"12 ORIGAMI GREAT SAMURAI SLASH!" The samurai cried, channeling mojikara from all 12 of the Origami making up the giant mecha into the Kyoryu Origami, raising the sword to bring it down in an incredibly powerful slash…
Only for Dokoku to abruptly spin around at the last second, causing Daigoyo to receive the full impact of the attack. The lantern cried out in agony as the blade cut into his back. Genta gasped. "No! Daigoyo!"
Dokoku cackled malevolently as Daigoyo fell off his back, landing hard on the ground. "I TOLD you I wouldn't go that easily!" Charging energy into his swords, he unleashed slash after slash, crimson energy blades carving up the ground and ripping into the body of the mecha, the samurai crying out and struggling to maintain their balance as their control room was shaken about and vital components of the giant robot and other Origami were sent flying, the Kyoryu Origami flipping over and over before landing face-down in the ground.
A large gash was torn in the front of the cockpit, allowing them to witness with their own eyes as Dokoku crossed his blades over his head, gathering a tremendous amount of energy into them. "When you get to the Sanzu, tell everyone down there they'll soon be able to come up!" He crowed, preparing to finish them off…
And suddenly, string music started to fill the air. Abruptly, the energy crackling around Dokoku's swords vanished. "What? What is…" He swayed, feeling suddenly lightheaded. "What is… Happening…?"
Chiaki blinked. "Does… Does anyone else hear music, or am I suffering from a concussion?"
"The two are not mutually exclusive," said a bewildered Kaoru. "I hear it as well, however."
Mako gasped. "Wait! I recognize this music! It's…"
"DAYU?!" The samurai cried in disbelief, noticing the Ayakashi standing on top of the downed Daigoyo, strumming on her shamisen while the dazed Bugster Virus attendant sat beside her.
"Dayu… What are you doing?!" Dokoku demanded, wobbling and clutching his head.
"Shinkengers!" Dayu cried. "Dokoku draws power from his unending wrath! My music is the only thing that can calm him… And in so doing, weaken his strength! Quickly, strike him down before he can recover!"
"Dayu… Why… Why are you…" Dokoku stammered, lurching towards her, one of his swords slipping from his grasp and falling to the ground.
"I don't know myself," she confessed, gritting her teeth. "But something tells me that this is something I MUST do. I have clung to my past and to my feelings for Shinza too long. And… I could probably find a better master to serve than someone who breaks my instrument and abuses me when he's in a bad mood, emotionally manipulated and absorbed me to gain a partial immunity to his only weakness, and lives in a shitty boat that hasn't been cleaned in centuries!"
"I thought you LIKED that boat!" Dokoku protested. "You always adored those Susukodama I kept around!"
"Which you kept KILLING whenever they irritated you!" Dayu snapped. "Honestly, was it so wrong for me to want to keep a pet that you WOULDN'T kill whenever it got too noisy?"
"You know how bad my headaches get!" Dokoku protested.
"Well, maybe you wouldn't GET such bad headaches if you weren't DRINKING all the damn time!" She shouted back.
"It's not like there's much else for me to do on that damn boat all day!" Dokoku protested angrily. "And whenever I'm in the mood for something more than just listening to your music, you're always conveniently 'too tired' to put out!"
"Maybe because I AM tired from having to play day in and day out for you! And is it so wrong to want a man who actually knows how to be gentle?!" She screamed.
"Woman, you knew what you were getting into when you boarded my ship!" He snapped.
"You didn't exactly give me a choice in the matter!" She retorted. "It was 'come aboard and play for me forever, Dayu, or I kill you!' What other choice did I have?!"
"I don't know, maybe not overreact and BURN DOWN A GUY'S HOUSE JUST BECAUSE HE ISN'T INTO YOU?!" Dokoku bellowed. "It's your own damn fault you were in the underworld in the first place!"
"Oh, here we go with the victim blaming!" She sneered.
"How are you a victim?! You died a MASS MURDERER! And trapped a guy's soul in your shamisen for centuries even though he JUST WASN'T INTO YOU!" he roared. "Trouble with rejection much?"
"Should… Should we do something?" Asked an uncertain Ryunosuke.
"What, and ruin all this drama? No way! This is hilarious!" Chiaki cackled.
"Isn't their arguing just making Dokoku angry again?" Genta pointed out. "Which is something we don't want?"
"A good point," Takeru agreed. "Dayu!" He called down to the Ayakashi.
"What?!" She shouted at him.
"You stopped playing! Dokoku is regaining his power!" Takeru called to her.
"I am? That's right, I am!" Dokoku realized, reaching for his swords.
Dayu cursed and started playing again.
Dokoku immediately lost his grip on his swords. "Oh, come on!" He moaned.
"Shinkengers, if you're going to do something, do it now!" Dayu yelled up to them. "I can only keep this up for so long!" She clenched her teeth. "And I'd better get a DAMN good position in your household for this! And not a kuroko, we all know I'd be wasted in a job like that!"
"That's debatable," Mako muttered.
"You can serve as our musician, as you did to Dokoku, since that is where your talents lie," Takeru decided. "However, you will be treated far better than you were under his care."
"Also, you can be Takeru's concubine," Kaoru spoke up.
"Wait, what?" Takeru and Mako both cried in alarm.
Kaoru huffed and put her hands on her hips. "You and Mako are taking things far too slow for my liking. I want grandkids!"
"M-Mother!" Takeru cried, horrified, as Mako dearly wished some deity would strike her (or, more hopefully, Dayu) dead.
"Oh, come on!" Genta yelled, throwing up his hands in frustration. "When I try to give a Nanashi a job, everyone tells me it's a bad thing, but when Daigoyo or Takeru want to bring someone arguably WORSE into the household, suddenly it's fine?!"
"The Nanashi was a spy who stole the Inromaru," Chiaki pointed out.
"And maybe she'll do the same!" Genta argued.
"No, I don't think she will," Kotoha said optimistically.
"You don't know that!"
"Can I keep some Susukodama as pets?" Dayu asked.
"Sure," Kaoru said.
"REALLY?!" Genta yelled.
"Grandkids!" Kaoru replied. Takeru and Mako groaned.
"Will you just kill me already?!" Dokoku moaned. "This is getting absurd! And more than a little awkward!"
"Right. Chiaki, how do the controls look?" Takeru asked.
Chiaki hesitantly pushed a button. His console promptly exploded in his face. "Not good," he croaked.
"Then we will simply have to do this without our Origami," Kaoru decided, handing out discs with the Shiba family crest marked on them to all of the samurai. "Here, these discs are charged with my mojikara. They're the same as the one Ryunosuke used to kill Dokoku the last time. With all of us using them together, they should be strong enough to overcome him, even in his giant state."
"Wait, when did you have time to make all these?" Asked the confused Chiaki as he accepted his disc. "A better question, why would you-"
"That's not important!" Kaoru blurted sharply. She slotted the disc into her sword and spun it, energy running up the blade. "What is important is fulfilling our duty and destroying Dokoku once and for all!"
"Or until someone revives him for another big crossover event," Kotoha spoke up. Everyone glared at her. "Oh, sorry. Was I the only one thinking that?"
"Going Forth!" Takeru shouted quickly to change the subject, spinning his disc and leaping out of the ruined robot.
"Going Forth!" The other samurai chorused, spinning their discs and jumping after him.
"Oh, finally," Dokoku sighed in relief and resignation as the samurai shot towards him. "At least if I die again I won't have to hear Dayu nagging anymore."
"Oh, SHUT IT!" She shouted at him.
The samurai drew back their swords, all of them charged with energy. "Shiba House Seven Samurai Slash!"
They lashed out at the same time, the energy from their blades forming a massive blazing version of the Shiba crest which slammed into Dokoku, engulfing him in flames. As he howled in agony, the seven samurai slammed into him blade first, slicing through his body with ease and ripping out the other side, leaving a hole in his back resembling the crest. "Damn you… Damn you, Shinkengers… And Dayu… I would say to go to hell, but we both know you're not allowed there, so I hope you choke on ShinkenRed's dick!"
"Oh, screw you!" Dayu shouted back. "You were always a terrible lay! I FAKED more than half of my orgasms!"
"You biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch!" Dokoku bellowed as he fell to his knees and exploded spectacularly.
The samurai gracefully landed on the ground nearby. "And now, the clap of victory!" Takeru proclaimed.
"Does this actually count as a victory?" Chiaki complained. "Some of the mental images this whole thing brought up will haunt me in my nightmares for the rest of my life."
Abruptly, Daigoyo sat up, dislodging Dayu and his Bugster attendant. "Hey guys, what did I miss?"
"Takeru is going to get married to Mako and Dayu, apparently," Chiaki told him, only half-joking.
"Really? Cool! I call best man!" Daigoyo cheered.
"All right," said Takeru.
"REALLY?!" Genta shouted.
…
Not too far away, Yayoi, Yuko, Asuna, and DimeVolcano were locked in battle with the giant Deboss. "I ask you this!" DimeVolcano roared. "What separates the waters above and the waters below?"
"I don't care!" Deboss snarled, slamming his staff into the Dimetrodon's head and causing him to stagger back, dazed.
"Hey, that's no way to answer a riddle!" Asuna said angrily, having Ankyrose leap into the air and swing her hammer tail at Deboss's head. At the same time, Yayoi and Yuko swung the left arm of Plezu-Oh Ankydon (having combined their mecha to try and even the odds) at the alien horror.
Deboss caught Ankyrose's tail in one hand while deflecting Plezu-Oh Ankydon's hammer with his staff, flinging Ankyrose at the larger mecha and knocking it back. "I have no time for riddles. I must destroy you, and then this world!"
He slammed his staff into the ground, causing an earthquake and buffeting the mecha with green explosions that erupted from below.
"Fool! There is always time for riddles!" DimeVolcano roared, having regained his senses, breathing fire at Deboss' feet. The horror yelped and started hopping about, trying to put out the flames, allowing Yayoi and Yuko to recover and get their mecha back on its feet.
"Now is our chance!" Yayoi declared.
Plezu-Oh grabbed the grip of the canon making up its right arm and started pumping it.
"Three! Two! One! ZUOOOOON! Plezu Brave Finish!"
An intense violet laser resembling Plezuon's head fired from the canon, snaking its way towards Deboss…
Who caught it by the neck before it could strike him. "I'm afraid," he said gravely as the laser plesiosaur head gnashed at him ineffectually. "That won't work this time."
He crushed the plesiosaur's throat, the backlash causing Plezu-Oh's cannon to backfire and explode. Yayoi and Yuko cried out as the cockpit shook, sparks flying and emergency lights flashing.
"Transcendenterfly Hammer!"
Deboss swung his staff, flicking an energy butterfly at the damaged Plezu-Oh. Before it could strike, Ankyrose suddenly leapt before it, swinging her hammer tail to try and deflect the butterfly…
Only for it to explode on impact, severely damaging the mecha and flinging her to the ground, hammer broken, back armor cracked and smoking. Asuna moaned. "Okay… Probably not my best idea…"
"No, indeed it was not," Deboss agreed, stomping on the belly of the Ankylosaurus hard, further cracking her shell and causing her to wriggle helplessly, screeching in pain. "It is the Kyoryugers I seek to destroy. I hold no particular ire towards the Ryusoulgers… But for interfering in my vengeance, you shall share their fate!"
He raised his staff, preparing to smash the dinosaur's head in.
"Asuna, no!" Yuko cried, horrified at the potential demise of her fellow Ankylosaurus Sentai. "Yayoi, we have to do something! He's going to kill her!"
"I'm trying, I'm trying!" Yayoi replied, frantically fiddling with her control pad. "She's not responding! That backfire shorted her out!" She looked up helplessly at Yuko. "I don't… I don't think there's anything we can do…"
"Maybe not… But WE can!"
A powerful laser blast smashed into Deboss'chest, sending him staggering back and freeing Ankyrose, who quickly limped to safety. "What… Who dares…?"
He froze, suddenly realizing that he was surrounded by Ultimate Daizyujin, MaxRyuu-Oh, Gigant Kyoryuzin, and King Kishiryu-Oh. "Oh," he said faintly. "This… Is not ideal."
"I do believe that is an understatement," Yayoi said smugly.
"You guys! What took you so long? I almost died!" Asuna complained as Ankyrose dragged herself over to her team's strongest mecha.
"You weren't the only dinosaur heroes in need of assistance, Asuna," her teammate Melto, Ryusoul Blue, pointed out.
"That other guy was much uglier," Oto agreed.
"I ask you this!" Roared DimeVolcano, who had just recovered. "How screwed do you think you are, Deboss?"
The Transcendenterfly God sagged in resignation. "Very."
DimeVolcano laughed as the four mecha powered up their finishing moves. "CORRECT!"
"GRAND BANISHER!"
"BAKURYU HISSATSU RYUOH BUSTER!"
"SUPER ZYUDEN ALL GIGANT EXPLOSION!"
"BIG BANG EVOLUTION!"
"Forgive me, master-" Deboss started to cry just before he was engulfed by the four finishers. There wasn't even an explosion. The combined attacks were so powerful, he simply ceased to exist.
"And once again," Yayoi reflected maliciously. "In the end, you were the one to go extinct, not us."
"Dinosaurs forever!" Cried Ryouga Hakura, AbareMax.
"DINOSAURS FOREVER!" His fellow dinosaur Sentai echoed, their partners roaring along with them.
…
Meanwhile, Shinnosuke and his comrades were continuing to chase the mutated Banno through the skies in Tridoron Booster. Much to their frustration, the mechanical abomination had so far managed to evade their attacks, and its retaliatory energy blasts had come close to knocking them out of the air several times. "Will you stop that?!" Brain wailed as Shinnosuke spun the wheel, sending them into a corkscrew to dodge another of Banno's projectiles. "I'm going to be sick!"
"Then just have Medic heal you, that's her job!" Shinnosuke shot back in frustration, too focused on the dogfight to afford any distractions.
Medic gasped. "EXCUSE me?!"
"He's not wrong," Heart pointed out.
"Don't take his side!" Medic snapped at him.
"Shinnosuke, at this rate we may very well crash! Or worse, scratch the paint job!" Mr. Belt cried. "I'm afraid we must use… 'That.'"
"'That?' Are you sure?" Shinnosuke asked in surprise.
Mr. Belt would have nodded, except he didn't have a neck. Or head. Or body. "Yes. 'That.'"
Shinnosuke sighed. "Very well. I suppose now is as good a time as any to test 'that.'"
"Will you two stop being cryptic and tell us what 'that' is already?"' Medic asked in annoyance.
"Better than that, I can show you," Shinnosuke said, pressing a button on the dash. "Go, Chase, get ready. We're going to use 'that.'"
Chase nodded. "Understood."
"Wait, what's '-that?' What are you talking about-" a confused Go stammered, right until his seat suddenly leaned back, leaving him totally vertical, and the front of his Ride Booster split open, a rail extending out. His seatbelt suddenly retracted, and his seat shot forwards, coming to a sudden stop at the end of the rail and launching him, flailing and screaming, into the air.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT THE HELL?!" Go screamed.
Chase, who had also been launched from his Ride Booster, stoically appeared beside Go. "Do a Rider Kick."
"What?!"
"We are about to crash into Banno. Do a Rider Kick." Chase proceeded to position his body into a flying kick. "Chaser End!"
Go swore and quickly did the same thing. "Shinnosuke, brother, we're going to have words when I get back!" He declared. "Kick Macher!"
Banno sensed them coming and tried to maneuver out of the way, only for Heart and Medic – – who'd taken Go and Chase's seats in the Ride Boosters-to open fire, causing the monster to instinctively dodge…
Right into the path of Go and Chase's kicks. The duo collided with his wings, disintegrating them into millions of metal shards as they sailed through and kept on going. Banno shrieked in agony and plummeted towards the ground, no longer able to support himself in the air.
"Yeah! That was awesome!" Go whooped.
"Indeed. That was very satisfying," Chase agreed.
"Okay, I might be willing to give grow Shinnosuke some slack, that was pretty sweet… Wait, how are we going to land-"
He slammed face-first into a cliff wall.
"Oh," he said, his voice muffled by the incredibly hard rock his face had planted into. "That's how."
"We should probably come up with a way to fix this for the next time," Chase, embedded in the wall just next to him, agreed.
"Yes," Go moaned as the pain finally kicked in. "We really should."
Banno crashed to the ground in a pile of metal coils and limbs. As the monster shifted about, trying to entangle himself from its tail and multiple appendages, Brain leapt out of the sunroof of the Tridoron as it passed overhead, shrieking an incredibly shrill battle cry as he brought his glowing sword down on the base of the beast's tail, severing it in a burst of poison.
"Yes!" Brain crowed as Banno screeched in agony, legs wriggling about frantically as he tried to flip himself upright and his tail disintegrated segment by segment. "Fear the awesome might of my Brain Glasses… Wait, what?!"
Much to his disbelief, his sword was dissolving in his hands. "What… What is happening to my sword?!"
"Well, you coated it in a poison corrosive enough to eat through metal, what did you expect?" Heart pointed out as he, Medic, and Shinnosuke rushed over, having parked the Tridoron nearby.
"Oh for… Why am I not immune to my own poisons?!" Brain yelled in exasperation, tossing the useless hunk of metal away. "This is ridiculous!"
"You're ridiculous," Medic informed him.
"Silence!"
Finally, Banno managed to scurry onto his 8 feet. His massive jaw opened, exposing dozens of jagged metal teeth as he roared at them…
When suddenly a black car covered in blue lines resembling a Mercedes AMG GT slammed into Banno's spider legs, snapping them off at the joints and causing the monster machine to collapse to the ground once more, his remaining legs flailing ineffectually. The driver's side door of the car opened, and a Kamen Rider in a black suit covered in blue lines with a yellow tire crossing his chest emerged.
Shinnosuke was immediately on guard. "Paradox?!"
"No dad, it's me," the Rider said quickly. "Eiji Tomari… Kamen Rider Dark Drive!"
"It's all right, Shinnosuke, it's really him," said Eiji's Driver, which they quickly realized was an exact replica of Mr. Belt… Probably because it WAS Mr. Belt. "And myself as well!"
"My! Don't I look handsome in my old age!" The present Mr. Belt remarked, charmed.
"Who are you calling old, young man?" The future Mr. Belt joked.
"Wait… You're actually Shinnosuke's son?" Asked the confused Brain. "Shouldn't you be a little kid?"
"I'm from the future," Eiji explained. "I got dragged into this mess due to the whole time war thing. When I saw my dad and my favorite uncles and aunt battling our family's greatest adversary, I thought I might as well lend a hand."
"… Did he just call us his favorite uncles and aunt?" Heart asked, amazed.
"But which of us is his MOST favorite?" Brain asked very seriously.
"Well, it's definitely not you," Medic snarked.
Chase and Go limped over. "Hey bro, sorry we took so long –wait, is that Paradox?!" Go cried.
"No, it's Eiji, Shinnosuke's son from the future, here to help out," Chase immediately deduced.
Everyone looked at him in surprise. "How did you figure that out so quickly?" Heart asked.
Chase blinked. "Wasn't it obvious?"
Eiji laughed. "Good old uncle Chase. That's why you're my favorite!" Heart and Brain groaned in disappointment.
"Favorite… But I'm your ACTUAL uncle!" Go protested. "I'm your mother's brother!"
Shinnosuke patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry, I'm sure you're his second favorite."
"Actually, that's Uncle Heart," Eiji corrected him.
"Yes!" Heart cheered.
"Am I at least third favorite?" Go pleaded.
Eiji hesitated. "Well…"
"Eiji, we can discuss this later. For now, we must destroy Banno's evil once and for all!" The future Mr. Belt interjected.
Eiji nodded. "Right, good idea grandpa."
"I'm his grandfather?" The present Mr. Belt cried, delighted.
Shinnosuke chuckled. "Is it really that big a surprise?"
Banno shrieked again as he continued ineffectually flailing about, reminding everyone they still needed to destroy him. "Everyone, together," Shinnosuke ordered. "Let's defeat him for good!"
Everyone immediately primed the finishers on their Drivers, powering up.
"TRIDROP!"
"KICK MACHER!"
"CHASER END!"
"DEADROP!"
"BRAIN HEAD CRUSHER!"
"MEDROP!"
"DARKDROP!"
Six Rider Kicks and one headbutt slammed into the underbelly of Banno's twisted body, shattering what remained of his legs and flinging what was left of the madman away. He exploded off in the distance, three interlinked silvery rings resembling his face rising into the air, features twisted in agony, before exploding a second time.
"Once more, it's the end of the road, Banno," the present Mr. Belt declared.
"And STAY dead this time!" Medic snarled.
"That was even more satisfying than the last time!" Brain gushed in excitement.
"Yeah, maybe because you actually let us fight this time," Heart snarked.
"It wasn't like that and you know it!" Brain snapped.
"Is it weird that each time I kill my father, I enjoy it even more than the last?" Go wondered.
"Probably," Chase replied.
The future Mr. Belt sighed. "Every bit as magnificent as I remember it being."
Shinnosuke nodded. "A shame Kiriko couldn't be a part of this."
"Don't worry dad, she'll get a chance next time," Eiji promised.
Shinnosuke blinked. "… Next time?"
…
Some distance away, Kasumi continued her clash with Gengetsu Kibaoni. "I don't remember you being this tough the last time you were gigantic," the pink ninja growled as she lashed out with her giant Shuriken.
Gengetsu laughed as he blocked the massive stars with his naginata and thrust the butt of his weapon towards Lion Ha-Oh's gut, Kasumi catching it between her hands. "I am stronger than I was last time, whelp! You will not find me so easy to defeat this time around!"
"Not exactly a high bar, considering how disappointingly easy you went down the last time," Kasumi retorted, shoving the naginata back at the same time she lashed out with a kick at Gengetsu's knee, causing him to grunt and briefly lower his guard. The upper torso of the mech started spinning, the Shuriken in its hands slicing into the massive Youkai's chest armor again and again, sparks flying as the warlord cried out and stumbled back. "And it seems as if history is about to repeat itself! Giant Shuriken Crush!"
She slammed her two Shuriken together, causing them to combine into a giant energy Shuriken which she then hurled at Gengetsu, the throwing star racing like a wheel across the ground towards the warlord. He quickly thrust out his naginata horizontally, grimacing in effort as the Shuriken slammed into the polearm, sparks flying as it tried to cut through. He dug his heels into the ground, struggling not to lose his footing…
And then Lion Ha-Oh leapt into the air and flew into his face with a flying kick, causing him to topple over, his naginata flying as the energy Shuriken slammed into him, shredding his chest armor before exploding and hurling him back, the ground shaking as he landed hard on his back.
The Shuriken split back into its original forms and flew back into the mecha's hands. "So, what was that you were saying about being stronger this time? At this rate, I should have you beaten long before the others get here," Kasumi taunted.
Gengetsu grunted as he staggered to his feet, then abruptly started laughing as he picked up his naginata. "You seem very confident, ninja. Don't make the mistake of thinking this is over just yet, though. Way of the Supreme Fang: Hundred Demons Illusion!"
Kasumi sighed as the spectral fangs shot towards her. "This trick again?" She quickly spun her robot's torso, deflecting the fangs and causing them to fly all over the place…
"Way of the Supreme Fang: Asura!"
Without warning, a phantasmal hand suddenly grabbed her by the chest and ripped her out of her throne, Lion Ha-Oh going still as she flew out of its mouth and into the waiting Gengetsu's hand. "What-"
Gengetsu leered at her and started squeezing, causing her to gasp in pain. "What was that about me being a low bar?" He sneered. "At least I am not foolish enough to enter a battle completely exposed to the elements! I mean, seriously, you were just sitting right there, out in the open! I can't imagine why nobody else has tried this before now!"
"Shishi-Oh," Kasumi wheezed as the giant Youkai's fingers squeezed her tighter, her armor starting to dig uncomfortably into her soft, squishy, vulnerable parts. "Why is it, exactly, that you have an open cockpit again?!"
"Hey, blame Tetsunosuke XXI, he's the one who built me!" Shishi-oh protested. "It's not like I had any say in how I was designed!"
Gengetsu cackled and squeezed harder, causing Kasumi to scream in agony as her ribs broke. "At last, after all this time, I shall have my revenge on the Igasaki clan!" The warlord gloated. "Your grandfather was just the start… And once I finish you, the rest of your family shall fall as well! At long last, the Kibaonis will reign supreme!"
Guys, where are you?! Kasumi thought desperately, nearly blacking out from pain as Gengetsu continued to constrict her. I can't… Hold out… Much longer… I'd even… Accept… A save from Takaharu at this point…
And then, Kasumi was saved. Not, however, by her family.
"What's all this, then?"
Without warning, a giant snake head lashed out, biting Gengetsu on the wrist. He cried out and opened his hand, letting Kasumi fall. Fortunately, another snake head quickly caught her in its jaws, holding her with a surprising amount of gentleness in its mouth. Fading in and out of consciousness, Kasumi couldn't help thinking the snake's tongue was surprisingly soft, and its breath wasn't nearly as bad as one might expect.
"Who… Who dares?!" Gengetsu snarled in fury as he smacked the snake biting his wrist on the snout, causing it to recoil in a hiss.
"I dare, Kibaoni! Don't tell me you've forgotten about me after all these years?"
"What-" Gengetsu did a double-take when he saw the colossal eight-headed serpent with a colossal palace on its back that had somehow snuck up on him with astonishing ease despite being even bigger than he was. "Oh-Orochi?! But… But the only Youkai who could possibly command you…!"
"Is me," Kyuubi no Okami, proclaimed, standing on a balcony along with Neko, Nyaria, Kyuko, Usa, Kitsune, Bakeneko, Tamaneko, and Kyuemon. "Hello, Gengetsu. It's been a while."
"There you are, dear," Neko said kindly as one of Orochi's heads gently placed Kasumi into her hands. "You're all right now. We'll take care of things from here."
"I… Don't understand…" Kasumi wheezed. "You're… Helping me? I thought you… Hated ninjas…"
"Well, I hate the Kakurangers, I'm more or less neutral on the rest," Neko corrected her. "And really, we're just doing my soon-to-be sister-in-law a favor."
Kyuemon nodded. "I've more or less settled matters with the Igasaki clan, Momoninger. My father, on the other hand…"
"Son?! What are you doing here?" Gengetsu asked, baffled. "And why… Why are you with Kyuubi?!" He squinted. "And… Are you a girl now? Wait, were you always a girl and I just didn't notice?"
Kyuemon rolled her eyes. "Oh for… No, father, I wasn't always a girl, I just felt like becoming one so I could have a shot at the Youkai I love," she explained, squeezing Bakeneko's hand.
"Oh," Gengetsu said vaguely, very confused and not sure how he was supposed to feel about this. "Um. Good for you?"
Nyaria made a face. "That's your father, Aunt Kyuemon? He's ugly!"
"So ugly!" Kyuko agreed.
Usa whimpered and hid behind her.
"Well, I suppose I took more after my mother," Kyuemon admitted.
"R-regardless!" Gengetsu snapped, embarrassed. "Why are you interfering, Kyuubi? You know of my vendetta against the Igasaki clan! You even gave me the means to carry out my vengeance!"
"Wait, what?!" Kasumi asked in surprise.
Kyuubi shook her head in disappointment. "Gengetsu, when I gave you the spells to turn yourself and your clan into Youkai and send your son into the future to facilitate your rebirth, I had such high hopes for you. You promised you would create a world of fear, generating enough negative emotions to feed my family until the end of time. And not only did you fail, you failed so badly it reflected poorly on me for granting you your power in the first place. Do you know how humiliating that was?!"
"W-well, I-" Gengetsu stammered.
"And not only that… You used your own son and wife as nothing more than tools to empower yourself!" Kyuubi continued, outraged. "While there is much I can forgive, treating one's own family like that goes beyond the pale!" She nodded at Kyuemon. "So when we just happened to be passing through on our way home and Kyuemon asked if I might be willing to teach you a lesson… Well, I was more than happy to oblige."
"Wait… wait!" Gengetsu stammered in alarm as Kyuubi raised a hand, and Orochi's heads rose up, hissing sinisterly.
"I'm sorry, Gengetsu, but I do believe Orochi has waited long enough for a good meal," Kyuubi told the warlord. "It's been a very long time since they last ate, after all."
She swept her hand down, and Orochi's heads lunged forward, jaws open.
"No! NO! NOAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUURGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!"
Gengetsu's screams were cut off as the eight heads of Orochi began to viciously rip him apart. Blood, ichor, and scraps of armor and flesh flew everywhere.
Kasumi ripped off her helmet and vomited. Neko made a face as half-digested food splattered across the floor. "Couldn't have done it over the railing?" She muttered, nodding at some Dorodoro servants, who swiftly moved forwards to clean up the mess.
Kyuubi smiled and looked over at Kyuemon. "Well? Satisfied?"
The fox smiled viciously. "Immensely."
A large chunk of Gengetsu's face, with one of his fangs sticking out of it, landed on the balcony at Kasumi's feet, startling her and causing her to throw up again. The children rushed forwards and eagerly started playing with the remains, while their parents lovingly looked on.
…
Across the battlefield, a new, monstrous army arrived… One with Takeru Tenkuji at the head!
"Akari!" Takeru shouted up to Captain Ghost as it circled around the Eyezer Giant's head, bombarding it with its cannons. "I heard you were in trouble, so I brought backup! A whole army of dead soldiers sworn to serve Nobunaga who were more than happy to help when they heard their master was here!" He paused, then scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. "Granted, they sort of brutally murdered me first, but then the spirits of Toyotomi Hideyoshi and Tougawa Ieyasu resurrected and vouched for me, and-"
**(O)**EYES WIDE OPEN! GET HYPED PEOPLE! GET HYPED PEOPLE! GET HYPED PEOPLE! OMEGA BOMB!**(O)**
Abruptly, the Eyezer Giant's head exploded with the force of a miniature nuclear bomb. The rest of its body dissolved in light, leaving nothing behind.
"Oh," Takeru finished lamely. "I… Guess you didn't need my help after all."
…
Elsewhere on the battlefield, Emu blinked. "Huh. I guess not everyone needs my intervention after all."
"The Great Eyezer was pretty disappointing, wasn't he?" Poppy agreed.
…
Captain Ghost floated down to ground level, Akari, Edison, Newton, and the da Vinci Ganma looking over the side. "Oh, hey Takeru! Looks like you made some new friends!" Akari observed. "Are those the angry ghosts you were supposed to pacify? I guess you managed to do without Nobunaga's help, after all!"
"Actually, we brutally killed him for disturbing us, but then the spirits of Toyotomi Hideyoshi and Tougawa Ieyasu resurrected and vouched for him, so we agreed to march with him to aid our master," the leader of the ghosts spoke up. "But… I do not see him here. Where is he?" He glared furiously at Takeru. "If we have been deceived, then you shall be the first to suffer, boy!"
"Oh, Nobunaga went up to help a completely different bunch," Akari informed the ghosts. "Look for a big yellow flying machine, he should be on it somewhere."
The spectral commander bowed in gratitude. "Thank you, young maiden. Come, my brothers! Our master awaits!"
The ethereal horde bellowed triumphantly and drifted off in search of Team Snipe.
"So," Akari said eagerly, turning her attention back to Takeru. "You died again? Tell me about it! How brutal would you say your death was this time? How would you rank your suffering on a scale of 1 to 10? And most importantly, do you think any of the experience could be replicated in a laboratory environment? Tell me everything! Science must continue!"
Newton sweatdropped as a resigned Takeru sighed and began to explain, in detail, how he had been viscerally slaughtered by the ghosts. "You know, I am beginning to think this girl is far more terrifying than the monsters and evil spirits we fight."
"Beginning to?!" Da Vinci asked in disbelief.
"I am Edison," Edison said decisively.
…
Not too far away, the Zyuohgers were in rather dire straits due to the gargantuan Starfish Hitler enveloping Wild Tousai Dodeka King in his tendrils, his grotesque, shrieking visage shoved into the face of their mecha and filling their viewscreen. "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT!" Amu screamed.
"Why are we letting him do this? Fire our finisher or something!" Leo bellowed.
"At this range, the resulting explosion would destroy us as well," Tusk pointed out.
"Then why don't we go out there and just attack him until he lets go?" The lion man demanded.
"Can't," Misao grunted, trying and failing to open the cockpit door. "Door's jammed."
Sela groaned and facepalmed. "Why exactly do we only have one door in this thing?"
"I think you have to take that up with whoever built this thing," Yamato pointed out. He frowned. "Who did make the Cube Beasts, anyway?"
"The planet," Bud said vaguely. "I think."
"And the planet couldn't think to give us more than one door out of here?" Leo complained.
"Apparently not," Bud said wearily.
"Wait, I think I got it!" Misao cried… Only to start screaming as a tentacle burst through the door and wrapped around him. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The other Zyuohgers screamed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Starfish Hitler howled.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Nico shouted as her gunship opened fire, blasting Starfish Hitler's back with several dozen missiles. Taiga, Nobunaga, and Jiro opened fire with their own considerable artillery, explosions erupting across the mutated dictator's body, causing him to cry out in pain and loosen his grip on Wild Tousai Dodeka King.
"Oh GaoGod, that was horrible!" Misao cried as the tentacle let go of him and withdrew from the cockpit. "I thought I was going to be a hentai victim or something!"
"I thought that only happened to girls," Sela remarked.
"Depends on the manga," Tusk stated. Everyone stared at him. "I mean… That's what I've HEARD, it's not like I would ever READ anything like…" He stammered, flustered.
"Yamato, this might be our chance!" Bud announced, drawing everyone's attention to him, much to the elephant Zyuman's relief.
Yamato nodded, shifting to his Zyuoh Whale form and raising the Whale Change Gun. "Right! Everybody out!"
They raced out of the cockpit and onto the shoulder of their mecha as Team Snipe flew around in circles above them, continuing to pelt the angry Starfish Hitler with high-yield explosives.
"He's even uglier without a viewscreen between us!" Cried a disgusted Amu, appalled at how grotesque Starfish Hitler's face was.
"And he's about to get even uglier!" Leo roared as he Awakened his Instincts and leapt off the robot, landing on Starfish Hitler's face and clawing away ferociously, causing him to howl in agony.
"I… Think I'll attack a part of him that's marginally less disgusting," Amu said, struggling not to throw up. She leapt onto one of the monsters limbs and started clawing and biting, blood and other fluids flying everywhere.
"Misao, help me get some of these tentacles off of Wild Tousai Dodeka King!" Tusk cried, racing over to one of the tendrils and stomping on it as hard as he could, causing Starfish Hitler to shriek and begin to withdraw it.
"On it!" Misao replied, rushing over to another tentacle, gripping the underside with his wolf claws and crocodile tail, and bodily flinging it off of the mecha.
Writhing in agony from Leo's assault on his face and the repeated bombardment from Team Snipe, in conjunction with Tusk and Misao weakening his grip on Wild Tousai Dodeka King, Starfish Hitler reeled back, freeing the Zyuohger mecha.
"Bud, get Leo and Amu off of there!" Yamato shouted, aiming the Whale Change Gun at Starfish Hitler's face and powering it up.
The bird man quickly glided over to the shambling monstrosity. "Both of you, grab on, quickly!" Bud cried out to the two felines, extending his hands.
"Already?" Leo whined, though that didn't stop him from leaping off of Starfish Hitler's mangled face and grabbing hold of one of Bud's hands.
"Ugh, finally, I don't think I could stand being on this thing for much longer," Amu said in relief, springing off of Starfish Hitler's limb and taking Bud's other hand.
As Bud carried the two felines back to Wild Tousai Dodeka King, Yamato finished charging up his weapon and opened fire.
"ZYUOH FINAL!"
An energy beam chaotically fired from the gun, wildly zigzagging all over the place before zeroing in on Starfish Hitler's face…
Only to smash against a swastika-shaped force field and be repelled. "What?!"
Starfish Hitler laughed. "Blöder kleiner Vogel! Die Macht des Planeten ist der Macht des ewigen Reiches nicht gewachsen!" (Stupid little whale! The power of the planet is no match for the might of the eternal reich!)
Yamato stared blankly. "What?"
"We don't understand German!" Leo yelled as Bud dropped him and Amu back with their friends. "Speak Japanese!"
Starfish Hitler groaned.
"The might of the reich? Ha!" Nobunaga laughed, unimpressed. "That might is nothing compared to the demon king Nobunaga!"
"We're here too," Taiga pointed out, a little annoyed.
"That you are," Nobunaga agreed. "As are my vast army of loyal retainers!"
On cue, hundreds of ghost soldiers faded into view. "Lord Nobunaga!" Their leader cried joyfully. "At last, we have found you again!"
"What? Where did those come from?!" Jiro cried in disbelief.
"Dear Takeru brought them onto the field of battle," Nobunaga said proudly. "I could sense their arrival the minute they appeared. Even in death, they remain loyal to me…" He shot a smug grin at Starfish Hitler. "And how many of your Nazis can you say the same of?"
Starfish Hitler snarled, energy crackling around him as he opened his mouth wide, a swirling energy ball resembling a swastika forming in it. "Was brauche ich für eine Armee, wenn ich alle, die vor mir stehen, mit meiner unglaublichen Kraft alleine zerstören kann?" (What need do I have for an army when I can destroy all who stand before me with my incredible power all by myself?)
"Powerful you may be… But that does not change the fact that at the end of the day, all you are is an oversized starfish!" Nobunaga retorted. "Everyone, hit him with everything you have! Together, our camaraderie can overcome his barrier of hate!"
"Maybe Taiga should kiss Nico again just to be safe," Jiro suggested.
"JIRO, I SWEAR TO GAIM!" Taiga shouted.
"Please don't, I'm rather busy right now!" Gaim yelled back as he clashed blades with the invader Evolt, more and more appendages growing to replace everyone he took off.
"You heard the guy! Let's take the starfish out!" Leo whooped.
"Wait, should we really be following the lead of Oda Nobunaga, one of the most infamous figures in Japanese history-" Yamato started.
"Is he as infamous as Adolf Hitler?" Misao asked.
Yamato hesitated. "Well. Um. I guess not? I mean, it depends on who you ask, but-"
"Right, you heard what the ghost of the demon king said, everyone back into Wild Tousai Dodeka King," Tusk decided, pushing his friends back inside.
Yamato sighed. "You know, it would be nice if, for once, people would actually LISTEN to me when I'm trying to be team leader…"
Nico laughed as she emerged from the hatch on top of her gunship, pulling out the Cube Beast Zyuohger Gashat. "Let's do this thing!"
In a shimmer of energy cubes, her arm cannon transformed into the Gashacube Buster, which she inserted the Gashat into, powering it up.
| CLICK TO OPEN! |
| FINISHING MOVE! |
}!{ CUBE BEAST ZYUOHGER CRITICAL FINISH! }!{
"Shouldn't I be giving the order?" Taiga complained as he primed his Driver. "This is MY team, after all…"
| CLICK TO OPEN! |
| FINISHING MOVE! |
}!{ BANG BANG CRITICAL FIRE! }!{
From inside his tank, Jiro laughed. "Whatever gave you that idea?"
| CLICK TO OPEN! |
| FINISHING MOVE! |
}!{ BANG BANG CRITICAL STRIKE! }!{
Nobunaga laughed. "Come, my faithful retainers! Let us show this foreign invader why only I may rule Japan!"
"For Lord Nobunaga!" The spirits bellowed.
**(O)**EYES WIDE OPEN! GET HYPED PEOPLE! GET HYPED PEOPLE! GET HYPED PEOPLE! OMEGA SPARK!**(O)**
"ZYUOH DODEKA DYNAMITE STREAM!" The Zyuohgers cried from inside their mecha's cockpit as they powered it up.
"GOTTERDAMERUNG OF WORLD!" Starfish Hitler bellowed, firing a tremendous swastika -shaped energy beam from his mouth.
The swastika clashed with the energy beams, bullets, arrows, missiles, shells, and cubes being fired nonstop by the heroes. A tremendous blast of energy rippled out from the point of collision as the opposing attacks collided…
And then, much to Starfish Hitler's horror, his beam started being pushed back towards him. "Nein! Nein! Wie ist das möglich?!" (No! No! How is this possible?!)
"Because if there's one thing history has taught us, it's that people like you never win. Not in the long run," Taiga told him coldly.
"Wait, you can understand German now?" Jiro asked in surprise.
"No, I'm just guessing he's in disbelief that he's losing. They usually are this point," Taiga replied.
"Sic semper tyrannus, motherfucker!" Nico agreed.
"Nein ... Dies ist nicht das Ende ... Mein Hass ist ewig ... Und ich auch!" (No… This is not the end… My hatred is eternal… And so am I!)
"Perhaps it is," Nobunaga conceded. "But so too is the courageous spirit of those who refuse to allow evil such as yours to for sure! And as long as that spirit prevails… You shall never triumph! So says Nobunaga!" His followers cheered at that.
"Don't mess with our planet!" The Zyuohgers cried in unison.
Starfish Hitler, hideous face twisted in hatred, roared in fury…
And then was no more, the combined attack from the heroes utterly vaporizing him, not even leaving a single cell for him to regenerate from.
Or at least, that's what they thought…
"And that's when they started pulling out my intestines through my nostrils using one of my own ribs-" Takeru continued narrating his horrific torture and death at the hands of the spirits of the angry dead to Akari, who was eagerly taking notes, when suddenly a small object whistled through the air and hit him in the head. "Ow! What was that?" He whined, rubbing the back of his head in pain.
"It looks like an Eyecon," Akari observed, fascinated. "And one we've never seen before!"
"Huh, neat. Let's see what it does," Takeru said, picking up the Eyecon and activating it.
**(O)**HITLER!**(O)**
**(O)**AYE! GET READY PEOPLE! GET READY PEOPLE! GET READY PEOPLE! EYES OPEN! HITLER!**(O)**
Takeru howled in agony, body convulsing as red electricity crackled around him and he was engulfed in a cloud of darkness. With a maniacal laugh, a pitch-black parka ghost erupted from the Eyecon, swirled around him, and placed itself on his body, taking on the form of a hooded Nazi military uniform as the lines on his suit turned black and a mask with eyes narrowed in hatred, a crest resembling a military hat, and a handlebar mustache formed over his face. A swastika materialized on his chest and his forehead.
The spirit of Adolf Hitler laughed malevolently, darkness pulsing around him. "Ich sagte ihnen, das sei nicht das Ende! Jetzt, mit der Kraft eines Kamen-Reiters, werde ich-" (I told them this was not the end! Now, with the power of a Kamen Rider, I shall-)
He was cut off when, rather abruptly, the Behemoth of Darkness stepped on him.
Akari blinked. She and her spiritual allies stared at the giant monster foot for a moment. "Huh," Akari said finally. "That was lucky."
"I am Edison," Edison agreed.
The sound of footsteps frantically running downstairs could be heard, and then a door opened in the side of the giant castle monster's foot as Z poked his head out. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't see you guys here!" He apologized profusely. "I didn't step on anyone, did I?"
"Well, you stepped on our friend," the da Vinci Ganma told him bluntly.
Z gasped in horror. "Oh no! I'm trying not to do things like that anymore! I've fallen off the wagon!"
"Don't worry, he was possessed by Adolf Hitler," Newton quickly informed him.
"Oh." Z considered this. "But… Still, I killed him! Now he's lost to you forever!"
"Not really, things like this happen to Takeru all the time," Akari assured him. "I'm sure he will be resurrected in some contrived manner eventually." She rubbed her hands together eagerly. "Which is wonderful, because I don't think he's ever been killed by a giant monster stepping on him! Just think of all the data I can collect!"
Z stared at her in disbelief, then glanced at the others. "Is she for real?"
"Unfortunately," Newton said wearily.
"I am Edison," Edison agreed.
"Right," Z said vaguely. "I'll… I'll just be going, then…" He started to go back inside, then stopped, remembering something. "Oh, wait, I'm pretty sure that if I do something like this, I'm supposed to…"
He patted himself down for a moment, pulled out a wallet, then showed Akari a card. "Here, this is my business card and insurance information. If he wants to sue me once he gets better, this is how he can reach me."
"That won't be necessary, but thanks anyway," Akari promised. She took the card anyway. It might come in handy someday.
"You're welcome," Z replied. There was an awkward pause. "I'll just… I'll just go, then."
The door closed. The sound of footsteps running up the staircase could be heard. After a moment, the Behemoth of Darkness shuddered to life and continued on its way.
"He seemed nice," the da Vinci Ganma commented.
"I am Edison," Edison agreed.
…
Not too far off, Jin was battling Dracula. And by "battling," I of course mean "trapped helplessly in his robot as the Prince of Darkness had him hopelessly ensnared in his coils, fangs dug into Go-Buster Beet's neck, glowing green as he drained Enetron from the mecha."
"This doesn't even make any sense," Jin complained, glancing worryingly at the energy gauge as it steadily dropped lower and lower. " Enetron isn't blood! You're a vampire! You shouldn't be able to drain fuel from a giant robot!"
"And yet here I am," Dracula hissed through his fangs. "And once I have finished draining your machine's lifeblood, I shall be more than powerful enough to crush the Nishikikoji girl!"
"That Ninja Rider? What about me?" Jin asked, perplexed.
"I don't actually care about you," Dracula told him bluntly.
"… That shouldn't make me feel as upset as it does," Jin muttered.
Suddenly, a Toyota Prius covered in decorations from the Z-Cune Aoi anime sputtered to a halt nearby, a copious amount of smoke billowing from the tailpipe and wreathing it in smog. With a wheeze, all four of its tires suddenly gave out, the hood popped open and more smoke blew out from the engine, and both the front and back fenders fell off.
The doors to the car flew open, and four individuals dressed in colorful armor with sculpted hair on their helmets staggered out of the car, coughing and gasping for breath. "Akagi," one of the women in blue, of which there were two, wheezed. "You are never allowed to drive again."
"I got us here, didn't I?" The lone male of the group, dressed in red, said weakly, dry heaving.
The second woman in blue fell to the ground and showed no inclination of getting back up anytime soon. "Did we die again?" She asked, her voice muffled by the dirt. "I don't remember it hurting this much the last time."
"I think we're alive," the last member of the group, a woman in yellow, replied as she slumped against the side of the car. "Only living things can hurt this bad."
"Then can somebody please kill me?" The blue woman on the ground begged. "I really, REALLY don't want to have to do this again…"
"You can die later, Luna!" The red male declared as he staggered back to his feet. "We finally made it! After all these years, we FINALLY get a chance to be part of a Super Sentai crossover battle! This is our chance to finally become canon!"
"Akagi, this is a fanfiction," the first blue woman pointed out. "This isn't even remotely canon."
"Let me have this!" He pleaded.
"Wow, there sure are a lot of people here," the yellow woman remarked, mustering the strength to lift her head and look around.
"Well, it's a super crossover battle, that's to be expected," the red man pointed out. "And I recognize each and every person here!" He paused. "Except the ones I don't. Those must be from Kamen Rider. I don't know those guys."
"Is that Godzilla over there?" Wondered the disbelieving first blue woman.
"And he's fighting the Infernal Dragon Long!" The red man cried in excitement. "I've had dreams about this! Sexy dreams…"
"… Wait, what?"
"Hey Nobuo, do you know who that big guy right up there is?" The woman in yellow asked, pointing at Dracula.
The red man, Nobuo turned around. "Huh? Oh, that's… Huh, I don't know who that is. Maybe he's a Rider villain? Or maybe a bad guy exclusive only to this crossover?"
Dracula narrowed his eyes at the newcomers in irritation. "I am Count Dracula, King of all vampires!"
Nobuo scoffed. "What? No you aren't! Everyone knows Dracula is a Youkai that was killed by the Ninningers!"
"I didn't know that," the first blue girl remarked in surprise.
Dracula's eye twitched. "That Youkai was just a pretender! I am the one, true Dracula!"
"Then why do you look like an ugly Dragon-centipede thing instead of a vampire?" Luna asked.
"Yeah, Dracula is supposed to be incredibly sexy!" The yellow girl agreed. "All the manga say so!"
"I AM sexy! Usually," Dracula replied, annoyed. "But I've assumed this monstrous form to better defeat my enemies."
"Oh, classic transformation, I get it," Nobuo, nodded in understanding.
"And who might you be?" Dracula queried.
Inside his robot, Jin frowned. "I've certainly never seen them before…"
Nobuo gasped and turned to his friends. "Guys! Guys! He's given us the perfect line! Come on, let's do the rollcall! And with an official Sentai like Jin Masato watching, it's GOT to be official!"
Luna groaned. "Do we have to?"
"Yes, we do!" Nobuo insisted. "Come on Yumeria, help her up, we can't screw this up! We have to look good for Jin!"
"Actually, I'd rather if you guys just rescued me, I don't really care about the rollcall-" Jin began, but was ignored.
"My favorite Tyrannosaurus mecha is Tyramigo!" Nobuo declared, striking a pose. "Akiba Red!"
"Akiba…" The first blue woman did an impressive stunt movement. "Blue!"
"Tyramigo?" Luna asked. "Oh yeah, I always thought it was funny how he never got that Naruto guy's name right! Akiba Blue II!"
"I've always thought vampires were really sexy, in fact, I recently started working on a Castlevania doujin where Dracula and one of the Belmonts-" the yellow girl, Yumeria, rambled.
"Pain is power!" Nobuo cut her off. "Ready!"
They all struck a pose. "Hikonin Sentai… Akibaranger!"
Behind them, the car they came in exploded, engulfing them in flames. They screamed and started running around in a panic, frantically trying to put the fires out.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! It burns! It burns!" Yumeria wailed.
"Stop, drop and roll! Stop, drop and roll!" Luna cried, rolling along the ground to try and put the fire out.
"No, not Itasha! We haven't finished paying it off yet!" Nobuo wailed.
Jin groaned. "Well, I'm doomed."
Dracula stared blankly at the four burning not-Sentai as they attempted to put out the flames by hitting each other. Somehow, this only made the burning worse. "… I think I'm going to just ignore you. You imbeciles aren't worth killing…"
"Wait, hold on," Luna asked, seeming to forget that she was on fire due to the weight of the thought that had just struck her. "You said you're Dracula, right? King of the vampires?"
Dracula rolled his eyes. "Yes, that is what I said."
"Which means you're a vampire," Luna continued.
Dracula shot her a disbelieving look. "I would think that my title as 'King of the vampires' would make that self-evident."
"Okay, but then how come you're out in daylight?" Luna pressed. She tilted her head. "Or are you one of the sparkly vampires?"
"Oh, I love those!" Yumeria squealed, having also forgotten she was on fire.
"No, I am absolutely NOT a sparkly vampire!" Dracula roared, furious. "Need to get around to killing Stephanie Meyer one of these days…"
"Then how ARE you out in broad daylight without dying?" The other blue girl asked.
Dracula scoffed. "Well, you see…" He trailed off. His eyes widened in horror. "Oh shit-"
He vanished in a puff of smoke.
Jin stared in disbelief. "Are you… Are you KIDDING me?! It was that easy?!"
Nobuo threw up his arms in triumph. "Yes! We did it! We saved an official Sentai from Count Dracula! Now WE'RE official! No longer are we the Hikonin Sentai Akibarangers, but the-"
"Actually, I'm not exactly official," Jin interrupted. "I'm not Beet Buster, but Gold Beetle from the other Go-Buster team from an alternate timeline."
Nobuo froze at that. "I thought you guys were erased from existence," Luna pointed out.
"We got better," Jin said vaguely.
"But… No, you're still official, that movie was canon… Wasn't it?" Nobuo stammered desperately. "Except… No, you aren't considered to be a numbered team, which means…" He moaned and fell to his knees. "No! You aren't official! Which means… Neither are we!"
He started sobbing. "It's okay, Nobuo," Yumeria told him gently, patting him on the shoulder. "We'll become official someday."
"You're just saying that!" He sobbed.
"Yeah, I am," Yumeria agreed. "Also, you're still on fire." Nobuo sobbed even harder at that.
"… And here I thought J had some crazy antics…" Jin muttered. "He's got nothing on these guys."
…
Not too far away, the Spider-people were struggling to deal with both Giant Spider Great Leader and the Goblin Emperor, who had almost managed to pull himself through the dimensional crack. The Leopardon was too far away for him to reach with his claws, but he seemed to have no problem hurling meteor-sized fireballs at the mecha while bellowing, "SPIIIIIIIIIIIIDERS!"
"Seriously, can't he say anything else?" An annoyed Miles complained from inside the giant robot's cockpit.
"Given that he's an embodiment of the hatred of every Green Goblin in the multiverse towards Spider-people, no, probably not," an irritated Peter (hobo variety) grumbled as the robot shook again, sparks flying from the control panels as a fireball slammed into their back at the same time as Giant Spider Great Leader smashed his blades into the Spider Protector energy web shield generated by the robot's lower legs.
"Peni, what are you doing?" Gwen asked, the youngest Spider having climbed out of her suit and started tinkering beneath one of the control panels.
"Whatever it is, I don't recall giving you permission to do it," the annoyed Takuya pointed out.
"The technology on this thing is HORRIBLY outdated!" Peni complained, head deep in a mess of wiring. "Not to mention in TERRIBLE condition! Have you even TRIED doing basic maintenance?!"
"It's not like this thing came with an instruction manual," Takuya said defensively.
"Here you go," Spider-Ham spoke up, handing him a booklet.
Takuya blinked in surprise. "How… Where did you get this?!"
"Glove compartment," Spider-Ham explained, as if it were obvious.
Takuya blinked again. "… I have a glove compartment?!"
"Well of course, were else would you put your gloves?" The pig snorted. Takuya stared at him blankly.
"Peni, what exactly ARE you doing?" Noir asked in concern.
"Giving this thing some much-needed upgrades and repairs. When I'm finished, this baby will be running at 600% efficiency!" The girl bragged.
Miguel slowly looked over her work. "I don't suppose you'd like a second pair of eyes-"
"No, you'd only get in the way," she said bluntly.
Miguel frowned. "I'm from the future too, you know."
"Yes, and I'm from even further, so there," she replied.
Miguel glared at her. "Last I checked, I'm the one who came up with the goobers to let us all cross over to each other's worlds."
"Yep, and I'm the one who corrected that fatal error which would have scattered our molecules across the multiverse, so…" The hyper intelligent spider on Peni's shoulder gave the Spider-man from 2099 a look that he could only assume was smugness. Miguel scowled.
The mecha shook again, and Peni swore as sparks exploded in her face. "Of course, it would be easier to finish if we'd STOP GETTING HIT!"
"Then I'll buy you some time! Arm Rocket! Arc Turn!" Takuya commanded.
Leopardon's left fist and head decoration launched from the main body, the fist flying through the air and punching the Goblin Emperor just as he had been about to throw another fireball, causing him to grunt in surprise and drop the orb, which exploded against his feet. The head decoration, on the other hand, sliced through the air like a boomerang, slashing Giant Spider Great Leader in the eyes. Shrieking in agony, the great monster staggered back, a hand clutched to his face as fluids gushed out from where his eye had been.
"Leopardon Strings!" Takuya ordered next.
Rope launched from the robot's chest, wrapping around Giant Spider Great Leader's torso and binding his multiple limbs to his sides.
"You know, I'm pretty sure that's supposed to come from the hands," the Spider-man that looked like he was from a very old cartoon pointed out. Nobody paid attention to him.
Takuya swept a hand through the air. "And now, the finish! Sword Vig-"
Suddenly, everyone's Spider-sense went off just as Giant Spider Great Leader's cobra-headed tail lashed out, biting Leopardon in the shoulder. Smoke filled the air as the serpent's venom ate into the robot's metal hide.
Takuya gasped. "No, Leopardon!"
"At this rate, we're going to lose the arm!" Miles cried. He squinted at the display he was looking at. "At least, I think that's what this thing says. I can't read Japanese."
"Wait, then how are we able to understand what Takuya is saying?" Asked a confused Gwen.
"Well, that's because-" Miguel started to explain.
"This wouldn't be HAPPENING if SOMEONE had kept this thing up to date!" Peni yelled in frustration from underneath her instrument panel.
"It's an ancient starship made by a civilization which no longer exists, I can't exactly take it into the shop!" Takuya snapped.
"Why don't we just go out there and punch that thing in the face?" Noir complained. "Stop all this faffing around in oversized machines and face it man-to-monster? Most of us have fought all sorts of big nasties in the past without having to rely on a walking tin can!"
"Don't call Leopardon a tin can!" Both Takuya and Peni snapped at him.
Miles tentatively raised his hand. "I for one feel safer in this giant machine behind several layers of thick armor plating then going out there and possibly getting stepped on."
"Nobody asked you, kid," Miguel grunted. Miles glared at him.
Suddenly, the cobra was ripped out of Leopardon's shoulder as Dogranio's Goram slammed into Giant Spider Great Leader, sending the monster scuttling some ways back, hissing in surprise. "What? What are you doing?! Why are you helping them?!" The heir to Shocker demanded in disbelief.
The Goram simply roared in response and charged towards him again. Snarling, Giant Spider Great Leader snapped the rope binding his arms to his sides, extending his blades and blade-like appendages out to strike the Goram in the chest. His swords carved shallow furrows in the monster's midsection, but failed to penetrate his thick shell, and the Goram tackled him, nearly knocking him over as it tried to bite his face off.
"Graaaah! Get off! Get off!" Giant Spider Great Leader yelled, spitting webbing into the turtle monster's face and gumming up its beak. His cobra tail hissed and lashed out, but the Goram shifted just in time and the serpent bit into its shell, recoiling with a shriek of agony as its fangs shattered against the thick carapace.
"What the heck is that thing?" Asked a perplexed (hobo) Peter Parker.
"A Goram, a giant alligator snapping turtle-themed footsoldier occasionally used by the Interdimensional Crime Group Gangler when they don't feel like making one of their own into a giant monster," Deadpool explained, handing him a trading card with a picture of the Goram and a detailed description of its abilities and history written below. "I thought there were only seven varieties, so seeing a new one like this is a real treat!"
Peter frowned as he glanced at the card. "Where did you get this? I thought you only made these for supervillains."
"Oh, my new friend Norida gave some to me," Deadpool explained.
"How did you get into my cockpit?" Takuya demanded.
"I teleported, doy," the mercenary pointed out.
"Wait, if it's a bad guy, why is it helping us?" Wondered the Spider-man who looked like he was from an old cartoon.
"Because his boss is afraid of spiders," Deadpool explained.
"Oh," the Spider-man said.
"SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIDERS!"
Their collective Spider-senses flared as Leopardon rocked, another fireball exploding against its back.
"You know, for a guy who also hates spiders, you'd think he'd start flinging fireballs at the actual spider monster for a change," Gwen complained after she regained her footing.
"Pretty sure Gobby is only interested in spiders with this on their chest," Miguel pointed out, tapping the spider emblem on his chest, one which nearly all of them also had.
"… Wait… That's it!" Miles cried, struck with an idea. "I think I know how to get us out of this!" He turned to Ham. "Ham, do you have a megaphone I can use?"
"Of course," the cartoon pig told him, handing over a megaphone.
"Miles, what are you up to?" (Hobo) Peter asked warily.
"Something so crazy I'm not sure it'll work!" Miles declared with an oddly chipper tone as he ran out of the room.
He reappeared moments later on top of one of Leopardon's arms. Holding the megaphone to his mouth, he shouted, "HEY, TURTLE GUY!"
…
Gamera perked up.
…
"YEAH, BIG BLACK GORAM GUY! I'M TALKING TO YOU!"
…
Gamera pouted.
…
"YOUR BOSS SENT YOU OVER HERE TO HELP US, RIGHT?" Miles shouted.
The Goram considered this. Actually, Dogranio had ordered him to kill Giant Spider Great Leader. However, the spider robot had also been fighting Giant Spider Great Leader, so he supposed, in a sense, Miles was correct.
"IF YOU DO WHAT I SAY, WE CAN TAKE CARE OF THAT BIG CREEPY CRAWLEY!" Miles continued. "I NEED YOU TO MOVE HIM IN FRONT OF THE GOBLIN EMPEROR, THEN GET OUT OF THE WAY!"
The Goram considered this again. Technically, he shouldn't be following the orders of anyone but his boss. However, his boss had told him to defeat Giant Spider Great Leader, and the tiny boy covered in webs claimed to have an idea to help him do that. So… Did that mean he should listen to him?
The Goram grimaced. He didn't particularly like thinking about things. He'd been born just a little while ago and didn't know what to do with himself except for smash what he was supposed to smash. Well, he supposed humoring the child wouldn't hurt. If this didn't work out, he could always kill him.
Which is why, much to the surprise of the other Spiders (and, to an extent, Miles, who had half-believed this wasn't going to work) the Goram bodily picked up the startled Giant Spider Great Leader and hurled him in the direction of the Goblin Emperor. The Emperor, who had been about to throw another fireball at Leopardon, snarled angrily at the monster for getting in his way and swatted at Giant Spider Great Leader's cobra tail to try and get him to move out of the way.
"Hey!" Giant Spider Great Leader yelled angrily as he stumbled back to his multiple feet. "What's the big idea?!"
"TAKUYA, ROCKET FIST!" Miles shouted at the cockpit.
"ARM ROCKET!" Takuya declared, launching his mecha's fist – – with Miles still on it – – at Giant Spider Great Leader.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" (Hobo) Peter demanded, horrified.
"What? He said he had a plan," Takuya pointed out. "And besides, who among us hasn't rode on a missile at one point?"
Noir raised a hand. "I haven't."
"Give it time," Ham told him.
Giant Spider Great Leader's multiple appendages lashed out, catching the rocket fist before it could punch him in the chest. The force of the impact was still enough to push him back several meters, feet digging deep furrows in the ground. His tail smacked into the Goblin Emperor's face, who roared angrily and bit off the cobra head. "Nice try," Giant Spider Great Leader snarled. "But you'll have to do better-"
"Already am!" Miles declared as he leapt off of the missile, body flickering as he suddenly turned invisible.
"What? Where did you…" Giant Spider Great Leader exclaimed in confusion, looking around frantically for the tiny human.
Crouched very low to the giant monster's chest, Miles pulled out a spray can. Really hope I grabbed a full one before I left home, he thought to himself.
Fortunately, he had.
Using the skill and reflexes obtained from web-crawling around his New York City, Miles rapidly scurried back and forth across Giant Spider Great Leader's torso, spraying the paint wherever he went. It was just like tagging a billboard or building back home, except billboards and buildings usually didn't move and didn't have the capacity to squish him into paste. (Except for that one time where inanimate objects around the city had come to life. That had been a weird day.)
"Is he… Is he painting graffiti on a giant monster?!" (Hobo) Peter wondered in disbelief.
"And not just ANY graffiti," Gwen said slowly, as a familiar emblem began to take shape on Giant Spider Great Leader's chest. "Miles, you mad genius! I could kiss you!"
She hesitated, suddenly realizing everyone was looking at her very intently. She blushed.
"I ship it," Deadpool whispered very loudly.
"Got you, you little pest!" Giant Spider Great Leader snarled, finally managing to spot a slight distortion in the air that signified Miles' presence and snatched him off his chest. "Now, I think it's time for you to be squished like the vermin you are!"
"You're one to talk, Giant Spider Great Leader," Miles retorted. "And before you squish me, there's something I think you should know."
"Oh? And what's that?" Giant Spider Great Leader sneered.
"The Goblin Emperor really hates guys with that emblem on their chest," Miles told him smugly.
Giant spider Great Leader gave him a confused look. "Emblem? What emblem-"
"SPIDER… SPIDER…SPI…DER…MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!" Goblin Emperor bellowed, eyes blazing with fury.
"What? No, I'm not Spider Man, that's one of my father's minions-" Giant Spider Great Leader protested, only to remember Miles' warning and glanced down. Much to his horror, his torso was covered in red, blue, and black paint resembling the front of a Spider-Man costume, complete with a big black spider in the middle. "W-wait, it's not you think, this isn't what I usually look like!" He stammered, frantically trying to wipe off the paint.
This only made the Goblin Emperor angrier. "KILL… ALL… SPIDERS!" He roared, leaning out from the portal he was still partly stuck in to grab Giant Spider Great Leader and pull him close.
"No! Wait! I'm not a spider! I mean, I'm not that kind of spider-" Giant Spider Great Leader stammered desperately.
He yelled as Miles used his Venom Shock to break free from his grip, the young Spider-man shooting a web line to pull him back onto Leopardon. "Takuya! Use your sword!"
The Japanese Spider-man didn't need to be told twice. "SWORD VIGOR!"
Leopardon drew its sword and hurled it with all its might, the blade skewering Giant Spider Great Leader through the chest and impaling the Goblin Emperor. Roaring in agony, the giant goblin retreated back into the dimensional crack, dragging the screaming Giant Spider Great Leader with him. "No! NO! NO-"
The future Great Leader of Shocker was cut off as he vanished into the multiverse.
"NO! MY SON!" Rock Great Leader cried in horror.
"Right now, you should probably worry more about yourself!" Kiriya quipped, hitting Rock Great Leader with a haymaker followed by a roundhouse kick to his side, chips of stone the sides of houses getting blasted off as cracks zigzagged their way across the giant's body.
"You should never have come here, Great Leader!" Koji cried, striking Rock Great Leader with a body blow that sent him staggering back, the earth shaking with each step. "when will you learn that you just can't beat us Kamen Riders?"
"And when will you learn that you can never truly defeat me?" Rock Great Leader replied, energy crackling from his eyes and into his hands as he fired a tremendous energy blast at the three giant Riders. "so long as there is evil in the world, i can never truly die!"
Hongo leapt down before his comrades, using a powerful karate chop to split the blast in two and caused both halves to fly off into the distance and explode harmlessly. "Evil may be eternal, great leader… but so is justice! And as long as justice continues burning within our hearts, a Kamen Rider will always rise to oppose those like you!"
Kiriya whistled in appreciation. "That's kind of corny… but damn if you don't make it sound awesome!"
"Damn you Riders!" Rock Great Leader snarled, gathering more power, the skies darkening, the earth shaking, and more cracks forming in his body as his monolithic frame was barely able to contain the energy he was amassing. "I will destroy you even if it means wiping out all of Japan!"
Kiriya gasped. "No! He can't destroy Japan! I live in Japan!"
"We all do," Koji reminded him.
"It's time to end this!" Hongo proclaimed. "both of you, with me!"
He promptly leapt high into the air.
"Come on, rookie!" Koji cried, jumping after Hongo.
"Rookie?! I'm a veteran like you!" Kiriya retorted, leaping after both of them.
"Not compared to us you aren't!" Koji laughed.
"Enough, both of you!" Hongo snapped. "All together now! Triple…"
"Jumbo…" Koji continued.
"Rider…" Kiriya followed.
"KICK!"
In unison, the three giant heroes shot towards Rock Great Leader in flying kicks. Roaring in hatred and fury, the Colossus used the energy he'd gathered to form a massive shield in the form of the Shocker emblem. Three feet collided with the shield, tremendous energy blasting out in every direction.
The earth shook. Mountains crumbled. Glass shattered in distant cities. Arch Priest Gaja turned over in his sleep.
And the barrier… Shattered, three feet impacting against Rock Great Leader's chest. Rock Great Leader howled in rage and agony, feeling his body beginning to shatter. "DAMN YOU…" He cursed with his dying breath. "DAMN YOU… KAMEN RIDERS!"
And then he disintegrated in a spectacular explosion.
The earth fractured. Mountains were formed. Glass shattered in other countries. Grumbling, Arch Priest Gaja woke up, checked his alarm clock, then cursed and went back to sleep when he saw it hadn't been 40,000 years yet.
From the flames, a crimson phantom resembling a Klansman arose, wailing in torment, before transforming into a giant skull that laughed maniacally before dissipating.
"That… was… amazing!" Kiriya gushed in elation.
"That it was, but don't get used to this, turning you into a giant was a one-time deal," Koji told him. "The J Force energy I gave you will wear off soon."
"Then let us make good use of it while we still can," Hongo suggested. "The fight isn't over yet! Let's go, Kamen Riders!"
Back inside the Leopardon cockpit, everyone burst into applause as Miles entered the room. "Nice one, Miles!" Miguel congratulated the young Spider-man.
"That was amazing!" The Spider-man who looked like he was from a very old cartoon gushed.
"I taught him that!" (Hobo) Peter bragged.
"No you didn't," Ham pointed out. (Hobo) Peter smacked him.
"So, you going to kiss him?" Noir asked Gwen, causing her to blush.
"If you don't, I will," Deadpool offered. Gwen screamed like a pterodactyl and lunged at him.
"The fight's not over yet," Miles reminded them. "The Goblin Emperor is still out there! He's the reason we came to this reality in the first place… To get your help fighting him, Takuya!"
"I would be more than happy to," Takuya promised. "But is now truly the best time for us to leave? There is so much going on…"
"I think the other heroes have it under control," Peni said as she finally emerged from beneath the control panel, face covered in grease. "By the way, I finished fixing everything. Leopardon is now up-to-date on all its firmware and antivirus protection, efficiency and combat capabilities have been improved by over 600%, and it's even good for interdimensional travel. If we want to go after Goblin Emperor, this baby will be more than capable of the job!"
"… Then I guess there's no reason for us not to go," Takuya decided. "And I suppose on some level I've always wanted to see the multiverse… All right! Let's go! Into the breach! Leopardon, advance!"
The giant robot charged towards the dimensional breach, moving faster than ever before, seeming less like a guy wearing a clunky, heavy costume, and more like an incredibly nimble and agile individual who just happened to be several meters tall.
"Thanks, big guy!" Miles shouted to the Goram as they rushed past and jumped into the portal, spinning around as they entered the infinite multiverse and firing trans-dimensional webbing which covered the crack and pulled it shut behind them. "Couldn't have done it without you!"
The Goram waved as the portal was sealed. It seemed only polite, after all.
…
"Dogranio, you can come out now. Giant Spider Great Leader has been defeated," Abrella told Dogranio.
The Gangler boss popped his head up over the couch. "He is? Whew, finally! Did Goram squish him, then?"
"No, he was defeated by the Spider-men," Abrella informed him. "The Goram helped, though."
"Oh," Dogranio uttered. "Well… At least he's gone," he resolved, coming out fully and taking back his seat. "So, how are we doing?"
"The heroes have managed to vanquish all of the villains Ginis revived-" Abrella began.
"Not quite, Long is still in the game!" Ginis interjected.
…
"No… No! This can't be!" Long cried as a burning Godzilla, Mothra perched upon his back with glowing wings spread to feed him energy, engulfed him in a horrendously powerful beam of atomic power. "I cannot be slain! I am immortal! I am immortal! I am-"
He was cut off when his body gave up on trying to regenerate itself and completely vaporized. Godzilla reared back his head and roared triumphantly, firing an energy beam into the heavens as Mothra chirped victoriously.
"Did… Did he just KILL Long?!" Miki asked in disbelief.
"I didn't think it was POSSIBLE to kill him! I thought he was completely immortal!" Mele stammered, incredulous.
"I do not sense any trace of his energy," Rio murmured. "If he is not dead, then I do not believe he will return to bother anyone for a very, VERY long time." He bowed his head in respect. "Godzilla really is the True King. Even I am willing to acknowledge his strength."
…
"Never mind," Ginis grumbled, mildly annoyed.
Dogranio nodded. "And is the world ending?"
"Not yet," Abrella murmured, frowning at the increasing number of black holes, the Pandora towers digging into the earth, and the world-shattering power being thrown about as the Pantheon continued battling Evolt and time and space continued unraveling around the Tokiwa clan and their nemesis, Another Oma Zi-O. "It might still happen, though."
"And at the very least, it will not be boring," Ginis said cheerfully.
"I'm sorry, why are you still here?" Dogranio demanded.
"The view is nice from here," Ginis explained. Dogranio, to his irritation, could not fault that logic.
…
Things were getting worse across the quarry, where the last true concentration of fighting was taking place. Time and space were warped so badly that nothing made sense anymore. A fighter could run towards a battle only to find themselves bumping right into their past or future selves, or sometimes both at once. Gravity was inverted in places and warriors were fighting sideways in thin air as if it were solid ground. The flow of time was disrupted in other areas, with battles jumping forward, then rewinding themselves, occasionally stopping in place, and resetting all over again. Defeated enemies came back to life, combatants aged significantly or were turned into children. Some were even completely erased from existence, or in some instances, heroes who had not existed previously suddenly sprang into being, having always been there, even if they hadn't always been there more than a few seconds ago. Giant robot and monsters kept appearing and disappearing, multiplying and dividing, it was unclear if this was due to time loops, they were being dragged in from parallel universes, or causality had just thrown up its hands and given up.
In the center of all of this, surrounded by a ring of distorted time and space so utterly broken absolutely nothing could exist in it, Sougo Tokiwa, his future self, and his comrades battled the maniacal Hiryu Kakogawa.
"It's useless for you to resist!" The deranged Hiryu screamed, erasing Geiz Majesty with a swing of a sword. "I have already killed you dozens, hundreds, thousands of times!"
With a wave of his hand, Sougo undid Geiz's erasure. "And we will continue to fight you, dozens, hundreds, thousands of times, until you are beaten."
"Begone, false King!" Oma Zi-O bellowed, unleashing a blast of unimaginable power that utterly unmade Hiryu…
Only for him to immediately will himself back into existence. "I cannot be defeated!" He roared, summoning wave after wave of Another Riders and psychokinetically hurling them at his adversaries. "I am inevitable and eternal! My destiny is written into the very fabric of space and time itself! My triumph is guaranteed!"
"There is only one true King of time… And you are not he!" Geiz Immortal retorted, bending time around him and accelerating towards Hiryu several trillion times the speed of light, the Another Riders being blown to smithereens as he plowed through them.
Hiryu extended a hand, firing an energy blast through Geiz Immortal's heart microseconds before he could slam into him. Sougo and Oma Zi-O instantly undid this, and Geiz Immortal drove his sword into Hiryu's chest at the same time as his past self ran his blade through his back.
Laughing, Hiryu rewound time, causing both Geizes to withdraw their blades… Only for them to shove them back through as Sougo and his future self fought back, the air warping as all the Zi-O's struggled for control over the flow of time.
Suddenly, the ground beneath Hiryu's feet rippled and turned to silver, the startled Another Rider King beginning to sink into it. "What is this?!"
"I'm sending you to Another World!" Susan explained, gritting his teeth as he tried to force the false King through the dimensional veil. "A false world where you have won, and always win! A world from which you will never return!"
"A false world where I have won? Preposterous!" Hiryu snorted dismissively, destroying the pocket dimension in an act of will. "Why would I ever be satisfied with that when I can have the real thing?"
With a thought, he attempted to exert control over Susan, using his power over all Another Riders, only for Alpina to casually dispel his psychic hold before it could even take root. "I shall not allow you to turn my brother against us!"
"Not like he has experience with that or anything," Geiz Majesty muttered.
"You keep your dirty claws off of my son's mind!" SOUGO cried, using the power of Biorider to liquefy himself and engulf Hiryu in his mass.
"Son, no!" Oma Zi-O shouted in alarm.
But it was too late. With a laugh, Hiryu increased the temperature of his body to roughly the surface of the sun, causing SOUGO to evaporate in a strangled cry of agony. Oma Zi-O quickly gestured, gathering up the water vapor and condensing it to reform SOUGO, the Rider gasping for breath. "Right. Not going to try that again," he panted, shaking in fear.
"Dad, you shouldn't even be here! It's too dangerous!" Susan yelled at his father.
"This is a family matter! I'm not letting dad or my kids fight this alone!" SOUGO insisted.
"That's fine with me,"Hiryu said cruelly. "That just saves me from having to track you down later."
With a thought, he unmade SOUGO. His father remade him moments later. SOUGO trembled. "Okay, I think I'm going to get some serious PTSD from this."
"Hiryu! That's enough!" Sougo yelled angrily. "Your fight is with me, not everyone else!"
"I will be unable to rest until every last trace of you or your friends are erased from space and time! The existence of you and yours offends me to my very core!" Hiryu snarled, raising a hand. "But your right, that is enough of this. This has gone on for far too long. With a snap of my fingers, I shall destroy this entire reality!"
"What?!" Sougo cried, horrified. "Don't you think that's a little extreme?!"
"No, extreme would be destroying every instance of you and your comrades in every timeline in the entire multiverse," Hiryu retorted. He paused, considering that. "Hmmm. I suppose that's something I should shoot for next."
"Hiryu, if you destroy reality, I shall simply bring it back," Oma Zi-O warned his adversary.
"And I shall destroy it again, and you will remake it, and I will destroy it once more," Hiryu replied. "The cycle of destruction and creation will continue until one of us falters and is obliterated…"
"You fool! All that will happen is you destroy yourself as well!" Geiz Immortal argued.
"If it means I destroy Sougo Tokiwa as well?" Hiryu shrugged. "I can live with that."
Another Woz laughed insanely even as his counterparts laid into him with their weapons. "Do it, my master! Fulfill your destiny! Destroy EVERYTHING!"
Hiryu began to snap his fingers, intending to do just that…
Only to find a metal grasshopper caught between his fingers. "Eh? What is-"
Without warning, a massive swarm of metal grasshoppers swarmed him. He cried out in surprise, trying to use his powers to annihilate them… But much to his confusion, it had no effect. "What… What is this?! My powers have no effect…?!"
"That would be because they are made from Hiden Metal, which is IMMUNE to temporal alteration!" Aruto Hiden bragged as he came into view, brandishing his Progrise Hopper Blade, from which the grasshoppers were being generated. "Which… Seems awfully convenient, but I've been assured it's actually true and always has been, so I am not going to question it."
"Zero-One?" SOUGO asked in surprise, immediately recognizing the Rider he had briefly clashed with before. "What are… How did you get in here?!"
"I got a lift from a certain passing-through Kamen Rider," Aruto explained as a silver veil appeared behind Hiryu, and New Den-O, Kiva II, Aqua, Dark Drive, Shinobi, Hattari, Quiz, Kikai, and Ginga emerged, grabbing Another Zi-O as he flailed about and tried to dispel the Cluster Cells swarming him. "And I brought help!"
"You… You dare to lay hands on me?!" Hiryu shouted, outraged. "I will destroy you all!"
"On the contrary," Quiz told him smugly. "You have the powers of Oma Zi-O, the embodiment of all the Heisei Riders… But all of us became Riders during the REIWA era or afterwards! As such, we have a partial immunity to your powers, especially since the TimeRangers used their future-tech to help give us a little more protection!"
"… Wait, I'm not sure that makes sense-" a confused Geiz Majesty protested.
"It's working in our favor, don't question it," Alpina hissed.
"A partial immunity isn't the same thing as COMPLETE immunity!" Hiryu snarled. He started opening time portals. "And I rather doubt you can hold me AND fight my Another Riders!"
"Then it's a good thing they won't have to do both."
The time portals turned silver and disappeared. Tsukasa Kadoya lowered his hand, shooting Hiryu a smug look. "I'm afraid you won't be getting any more reinforcements anytime soon. "
"Curse you, Decade!" Hiryu bellowed.
"That's my line!" Narutaki yelled, briefly popping into view before disappearing.
"My master!" Another Woz cried, disengaging from his fight with his alter egos and starting to run over. "Don't worry, I'll be right there-"
"You aren't going anywhere!"
Two more time portals opened, and two MORE Wozes appeared, one dressed in blue, and the other in yellow. Another Woz stumbled to a halt in disbelief. "What? MORE of me?!"
"Indeed! I hail from a future where SOUGO Tokiwa becomes King of time and space!" Blue Woz stated.
"And I am from one where Susan takes the throne instead," Yellow Woz added.
"But none of our futures can come to pass if your master succeeds in destroying time," Blue Woz continued. "Which is why, this once, we shall work together to stop you to create the possibility of a better future!"
Yellow Woz nodded. "Indeed! For together, we are…"
"Red Woz!" Red Woz shouted, striking a pose.
"Blue Woz!" Blue Woz added, following suit.
"Yellow Woz!" And so on.
"Black Woz!"
"White Woz!"
"Woz Beyond!"
"According to this tome," Red Woz declared, holding up his book. "When seven heralds of time and space unite, a power beyond imagining is born! This is the first page in a new history! Herarudo Sentai…"
All seven Wozes struck a pose. "Wozranger! REJOICE!"
Multicolored explosions went off behind them. Aruto giddily burst into applause, realized everyone was staring at him, and quietly stopped.
"What the fuck," Another Woz said blankly.
"So, are they going to get their own spin off or something…?" Asked a confused Susan. "Like a DVD special maybe?"
"Maybe a YouTube special, if they're lucky," Alpina said with a grimace.
"Enough of this foolishness!" Hiryu roared furiously, power washing off of him in droves, the Cluster Cells fleeing and the Riders hanging onto him crying out in pain as his might bombarded them. "No matter how many of you fools get in my way, NOTHING will stop me from destroying Sougo Tokiwa!"
"Yes, but that's only while you have your power, right?"
Hiryu nodded. "Yes, so long as I have… wait, who said that?"
He got his answer when Daiki drove his hand into his chest, the Another Rider crying out in agony. "Surprise!" Another Diend cried. "I was a good guy all along, and only pretended to be a villain just until I got the opportunity to strike you while you were most vulnerable and steal your Anotherwatch! This is totally a thing I planned to do the whole time and didn't decide to do at the last minute."
"Is that true?" A confused Sougo asked Tsukasa.
"I have no Gaimdamn idea," the Destroyer of Worlds said wearily.
"No! NO!" Hiryu bellowed in fury as, bit by bit, Daiki started to pull the Another Oma Zi-O watch from his chest.
"Wow, it's really in there tight," Daiki grunted. "Anyone want to lend me a hand here?"
"Oh, fine," Tsukasa grumbled, reluctantly running over and grabbing onto Daiki, pulling along with him. Aruto and the Tokiwa clan rushed over to help as well, all of them pulling on Daiki as hard as they could.
"Master! No!" Another Woz cried in alarm, trying to race over to Hiryu, only to be slashed across the chest by Woz Beyond.
"Your loyalty to your master is commendable," the eldest Woz told him respectfully as Another Woz staggered back. "But if you can't get past us, then you have no chance of helping him!"
More and more energy washed off of Hiryu, causing everyone around him to cry in pain as he struggled to reverse time and pull his watch back into himself, only for Sougo, Oma Zi-O, and Alpina to reverse the reverse and drag it back out again. "I will not allow this! I refuse to be defeated in this manner!"
"Not… Giving you… A choice…" Geiz Immortal hissed through gritted teeth.
"Almost there… Just a little bit more…" Aruto said as, with their assistance, Daiki finally managed to pull the watch fully out of Hiryu's chest… But couldn't remove it any further, an energy tether still connecting it to the Another Rider's body.
Fortunately, Tsukasa had already thought of that. "Natsumi, NOW!"
"Sing, Kiva-la saber!"
Natsumi shot down from the skies, bringing her sword down in a tremendous chop which severed the energy tether, causing Hiryu and the Riders who'd been holding him to fly one way and Daiki and the Riders who'd been supporting him the other.
As he fell, Daiki's fingers slipped, and the Anotherwatch was flung away. "Shit, the watch!"
Another Woz rolled beneath a swing of Blue Woz's weapon, snatched up the watch, and hurled it towards Hiryu. "Master, catch!"
Hiryu laughed as he emitted a tremendous blast of power, flinging everyone back as he quickly rose to his feet, hand outstretched to catch the watch. "A nice effort, fools, but my destiny will not be denied!"
Suddenly, a green blur shot by, snatching the watch out of the air before it could reach Hiryu, much to the Another Rider's surprise. "What?! Who DARES!"
"I dare!" The blur declared as he rose to his feet, revealing himself to be none other than Shin Kazamatsuri. "Kamen Rider Shin!"
Hiryu stared blankly. "… Who?"
Shin sighed. "Yeah, I get that a lot…"
Susan groaned. "Oh great, what's HE doing here?!"
"Saving your asses is what!" Shin replied. He regarded the watch in his hands. "My story never had a true resolution. My adversaries were taken down by other means, I had to give up my son, and have spent the last few decades living on the streets and occasionally cameoing during major crossover events. I've been shunned, abandoned, and forgotten." He shook his head sadly. "I never got a chance to save the world. But now…" He tightened his hold on the watch. "This… This is my moment. This is my chance. This is the time for me to finally be a hero… A true Kamen Rider!"
Another Woz laughed. "Fool! Do you truly think a failed monster like yourself has the power to destroy that watch? It is powerful beyond imagining!"
"But I'm not a failed monster," Shin said calmly, his nails extending and piercing the sides of the watch, much to Another Woz and Hiryu's shock. "I'm a Kamen Rider!"
He tossed the watch into the air, extending the Spine Cutters on his arms and slashing them before him, shattering the watch to pieces.
"NO!" Another Woz cried in horror.
"No… This cannot be!" Hiryu protested incredulously, energy crackling around his body. Frantic, he extended a hand towards the broken pieces of the watch, extending his will on them. "I can… I can still fix this! I can still destroy-"
As the pieces of the watch trembled and started to reassemble, Shin stomped on them, crushing them into dust. "You will destroy nothing," the Rider said triumphantly.
"No… NO!" Hiryu cried in denial. "I've come so far! I was so close! This can… This can't be the end!"
"I'm afraid that it is," Oma Zi-O told him gravely. "Comrades! Children! My younger self! Let us put an end to this pretender once and for all!"
"Count us in as well, my overlord!" Woz Beyond chimed in as he, White Woz, Black Woz, and Red Woz rushed over to join them, Blue and Yellow Woz holding the frantic Another Woz in place to keep him from interfering.
"My younger self! Start us off!" Oma Zi-O told Sougo.
Sougo nodded. "Everyone! Together!"
All the Riders primed their Drivers (except for Susan, who didn't have one) and leapt into the air.
"Oma Zi-O Finishing Strike!"
"El Salvatore Time Burst!"
"Il Distruttore Time Burst!"
"Super Ginga Explosion!"
"Supernova Explosion!"
"Time Jack!"
"Barlckxs Time Break!"
"Another Dimension Kick!"
Twelve Rider Kicks struck home.
There wasn't an explosion. "Explosion" is far too simplistic a term for what happened next.
Time stuttered. Reality skipped a beat. The universe itself ceased to exist…
And then it did, exactly as it had been before, except that all the Time and Dai Mazines, all the monsters and evil Riders from other times or worlds, all of them were gone.
Hiryu, reduced to his human form, clothes tattered, his body broken and covered in blood, fell to his knees. "Sougo Tokiwa…" He whispered through cracked lips, eyes blind and unseeing. "Once again… You ruined everything…"
"NO!" Another Woz screamed, breaking free from Blue and Yellow Woz. "My master! But if you are no longer king, then that means I-"
He disappeared midsentence.
"And so," Woz Beyond proclaimed. "The great time war has come to an end. Once more, the Tokiwa dynasty has proved its supremacy! Rejoice, for the royal family who oversees all of time and space is victorious once more!"
"Yeah, about that…" Everyone turned their heads to see Reiji and the Time Rangers approaching. "Oma Zi-O, you and your conspirators are under arrest for more crimes against the time-space continuum that I can count."
Oma Zi-O laughed. "Seriously? Even after all this, you still seek to dethrone me?"
"The fact that you helped defeat Kakogawa doesn't change the fact that you're one of the greatest time criminals in existence," Reiji said, pointing his sword at him as the TimeRangers slapped time cuffs on an unresponsive Hiryu. "Your armies are beaten, and you and your colleagues are no doubt exhausted from the long flight. Are you going to come quietly, or do we have to make this ugly?"
Oma Zi-O sighed pityingly. "Have you learned nothing?" he asked, gesturing to Susan, SOUGO, Geiz Immortal, and Woz Beyond, who all formed up around him. Alpina, torn, glanced back and forth between her friends and family. "There is no version of this where you come out on top. My very existence is proof that I win in the end, My ascendance written into the fabric of space and time itself. My destiny cannot be denied. I am inevitable-"
And that's when the still-gigantic Takeshi Hongo stepped on him. "I believe that's my cue," the first Rider quipped.
Everyone stared. "Okay, I didn't see that coming," Tsukasa said after a moment.
Sougo winced. "That looked incredibly painful. I am not looking forward to that happening to me."
"I'm… Not sure it will…" Alpina murmured, looking confused.
"That's…" Woz Beyond stammered. "Geiz, I… I don't remember this happening, do you?"
"I… no… This isn't the way it happened," Geiz Immortal agreed, utterly bewildered. "What… What is going on?"
"I'll tell you what's going on!" Momotaros declared as he started over cockily. "I've just blown the lid off this case! Take that, Mr. bigshot G-man time cop!" He sneered at Reiji.
"Momotaros, what are you talking about?" Reiji asked in irritation.
"What am I talking about?" Momotaros repeated back. "Oh, nothing more than the fact that ALL OF YOU have been played from the beginning!" He nodded Hongo. "Think you could ease up a little, big guy? I'm gonna need access to his face for this."
"Certainly," Hongo said, shifting his foot to expose the upper half of Oma Zi-O's body, his armor seriously damaged from getting stomped on, his mask cracked. "And you needn't worry about him pulling anything funny, my own power combined with the might of the J Force is suppressing his control of time and space."
"You can do that?" Asked a confused Geiz.
Hongo shrugged. "I'm the first Rider, I don't see why not."
"So!" Momotaros announced, striding over to the dazed Oma Zi-O. "From minute one, all of us have been acting under the assumption that Oma Zi-O is an evil future version of Sougo Tokiwa who's been thoroughly manipulating the time stream to ensure that Sougo would one day become him and take over the world as a demon king! Right?"
"Well… Yeah. Everyone knows that," said the perplexed Sougo.
"I didn't," Aruto admitted. "I mean, I did after everything was explained to me, but not before that."
Momotaros nodded. "Yes, yes, we did all know that… And we were all WRONG! For you see, Oma Zi-O is in fact NOT an older Sougo Tokiwa, but…"
He reached down and ripped off Oma Zi-O's mask, revealing…
Everyone gasped. "An older Sougo Tokiwa?!"
"Wait, we already knew that," Geiz pointed out.
"No, you THOUGHT you knew it," Momotaros corrected him. "Because, in truth, he's…"
He reached down and pulled off the older Sougo's face, another mask, revealing…
"Narutaki?!" Tsukasa, Daiki, and Natsumi cried.
"Of course!" Tsukasa realized. "It all makes sense! Narutaki masterminded this whole thing as another overly complicated scheme to destroy me!"
"Wait, what? How does that make the least bit of sense?" Asked the dumbfounded Sougo. "This had nothing to do with you until you got yourself involved!"
Tsukasa shook his head. "No, he does this sort of thing all the time. It wouldn't be the first time he's pulled off something like this, trust me."
"You're right, it's not," Narutaki said from right beside him. "Except it's not me this time. Also, curse you, Decade!"
Tsukasa started. "What?! But… If it's not you, then…"
Momotaros reached down and pulled off Narutaki's face, revealing…
"The Great Leader of Shocker?!" Everyone gasped.
"Of course!" Hongo cried. "Only an evil as great as he could possibly… No, wait, that doesn't make any sense either…"
"That's right, it doesn't!" Momotaros agreed. "Except… From a certain perspective, it IS the Great Leader who is behind this. Just not the one you're thinking of."
Everyone stared at him blankly. "Spider Great Leader?" Reiji offered tentatively.
Momotaros shook his head. "Nope! Honestly, I can't believe I figured it out before any of you guys did. I mean, it's so obvious!"
"Will you quit stalling and tell us what is already?!" Geiz Majesty snapped.
"Yeah, because I'm certainly finding myself in the middle of an existential breakdown. If my dad isn't who I thought he was, then who is he? Who am I?" Asked the bewildered SOUGO.
"Does that mean… Sougo ISN'T my grandfather?" Alpina asked, equally scared and confused.
"Oh, he is," Momotaros assured her. "But Oma Z-O is NOT Sougo, and he never has been!"
"Momotaros…" Natsumi growled.
Momotaros chuckled. "Right, shouldn't drag this out. But bear with me for just a minute longer. Now… Everyone think about this very carefully. Oma Zi-O has incredible power, enough to destroy reality if he should choose to do so. He wields the powers of every Heisei Rider who's come before him. He is an anniversary Rider, who is a multiple of 10. He can travel through time and space at a whim, and has committed unimaginable atrocities and later justified that they were for the greater good." He grinned at everyone as he reached down to grip the top of Great Leader's hood. "Now… Who else does that sound like?"
Tsukasa understood first. "No… No, it can't be!" He cried in disbelief.
Momotaros laughed. "Oh, but it is! Everyone, allow me to introduce to you all the TRUE Oma Zi-O…"
He whipped off the hood, revealing…
"TSUKASA KADOYA!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tsukasa wailed, falling to his knees in disbelief.
Daiki blinked. "… You know, we probably should've seen this coming."
Natsumi facepalmed. "Gaimdammit, Tsukasa."
Sougo gawked. "Wait… Then… It really WAS Decade's fault all along?!"
"It always is, kid," Momotaros said sagely. "It always is."
Sougo gasped. "No way! Oma Z-O was Tsukasa Kadoya all along? That's got to be the twist of the decade!" Everyone stared at him blankly.
A very pretty android girl with green highlights in her hair skidded to a halt right next to Aruto, stirring up a massive cloud of dust in her wake. "The president is making a joke in reference to how Tsukasa Kadoya is also known as Kamen Rider Decade."
The Rider and android dramatically pointed at everyone. "And that's how you know it's an Aruto!" They declared.
"… That's actually kind of adorable," Daiki said after a long moment of silence.
"No… No no no, this can't be right! Th-this has to be a trick! It's another mask!" Tsukasa yelled desperately, rushing over to the other him and frantically pulling at his face.
"I'm sorry, younger me," the older Tsukasa apologized for. "But it really is us. Sorry."
"But… But WHY?!" Tsukasa demanded.
"And does this mean I'm actually your grandson? I'm very confused!" Susan whined.
"You aren't the only one," said the dumbfounded Alpina.
"My overlord… I… I don't understand…" Woz Beyond stammered, looking lost.
"Explain. Now!" Geiz Immortal snarled.
"Well, now that you've unmasked me, I suppose I don't really have any other choice," the other Tsukasa conceded. "You see, back when I was my younger self, after Sougo got his nanomachines deactivated but the timeline didn't change, I realized that there were only two possible explanations: either Oma Zi-O was so powerful that changing history didn't affect him, or… That someone else took up the mantle. If the former was true, that would mean he was so powerful we would never be able to beat him, but if it were the latter… Well, then there might be a chance.
"So, on Oma Day, I knocked out Sougo, stole his powers if, then put him into stasis in a pocket dimension. I took his place as Oma Zi-O and used the powers I obtained from him to make myself look like him and take over the world."
"But… But why? Why would you do that?!" Sougo demanded.
"To protect the timeline, of course!" The future Tsukasa insisted. "Susan's testimony made it clear that Oma Zi-O had woven himself so firmly into the tapestry of history that removing him could destroy time itself. Therefore, SOMEONE had to become him to maintain the time loop and make sure events were set in motion so that history continued flowing properly." He shrugged. "It was a big sacrifice, but it's not like I haven't done that sort of thing before."
Tsukasa stared blankly off into the horizon. "Is this… Is this how everyone feels every time I do something awful for the greater good?"
"Yes," Natsumi said in disgust.
"Pretty much," Daiki agreed.
"I am so, SO sorry."
"Our future… All the people you've killed… All of that was because you thought SOMEONE had to become the Demon King?! Because it was easier than trying to fix the timeline without one?!" a livid Geiz Majesty shouted.
The future Tsukasa laughed. "Don't be silly, Geiz! I didn't kill anyone! And neither did Susan."
"What?" Asked the confused Geiz Majesty.
"Wait, I didn't?" Susan asked, equally confused.
Tsukasa shook his head. "Of course not! Whenever it looked as if I or one of my subordinates was about to kill someone, I actually stopped time, put them into stasis in the same pocket dimension where I left Sougo, and replaced them with a body double. Everyone who supposedly "died" under my reign or because of my manipulations are alive and well, and can be safely returned now that this charade is at an end."
At this, Hiryu suddenly stirred for the first time. "They're… Alive? Then… My parents…"
The future Tsukasa nodded. "Yes, they are alive. So are yours, Sougo! As well as Geiz's, and all of his comrades, and THEIR families, and so on."
Shocked, both Geizes sat on the ground. "Then… Everything… Our entire lives… It's all been a lie?!"
The future Tsukasa shrugged. "Pretty much, yeah."
"Then I've been serving the wrong overlord all my life?!" Woz Beyond demanded, livid.
The future Tsukasa nodded. "Yeah. Sorry." He didn't seem very sorry.
Woz Beyond frantically turned to Sougo. "Can I serve you, please? Because honestly I feel like I need SOME master to serve, and now that I've just learned the person I thought was you for decades was a pretender, I feel like I need something familiar to cling to."
"I… I guess?" Sougo stammered, bewildered. "I mean, if it's okay with your past self…"
"It's fine," Black Woz assured him.
"Thank you so much!" Woz Beyond cried gratefully.
"Wait. Wait! Hold on!" Alpina yelled. "If… If you've been Oma Zi-O the whole time… Then does that mean you're our grandfather?!"
"Yeah, did mom know about this?" SOUGO demanded.
Tsukasa shook his head. "No, you're still Sougo's descendants. I harvested some of his sperm and used it to impregnate my 'wife' – whom I never touched, just to be clear – – so that she would give birth to you, SOUGO, so that you could have Alpina and Susan."
"… I think I'm going to be sick," Susan moaned.
"I am so angry I'm having trouble seeing straight," Alpina said calmly.
"What the hell!?" SOUGO yelled.
"You are so, SO under arrest," said a disgusted and outraged Reiji.
"Tsukasa," Geiz said coldly. "I suggest you start running, because I am going to horribly kill you when I get my hands on you, and somehow I don't think I'm going to be the only one."
"B- but I haven't done anything!" Tsukasa (the present one) protested.
"Yet," Sougo pointed out angrily. "And you certainly aren't going to now…" He growled.
"Wait, if you kill him, won't that cause a paradox?" Daiki interjected. "Not trying to dissuade you or anything, just wondering."
"Daiki!" Tsukasa snapped.
Daiki laughed. "What, you actually expect me to be helpful?"
"Actually, there shouldn't be a problem," the future Tsukasa informed them. "Now that Sougo has accepted his full power and become Oma Zi-O himself, he can correct the timeline to prevent any paradoxes from happening and undo my 50 year-reign if he so chooses without breaking the timeline or doing anything to my past self. This was another reason I went all this effort: to help Sougo accept this part of himself, achieve his full potential, and become the king he was always meant to be!" He nodded at Sougo. "You're welcome."
Sougo stared at him for a long, long time. "You know, Geiz, if you want to kill Tsukasa, you should probably kill that one."
The future Tsukasa blinked. "Wait, what?"
Both Geizes got to their feet. "With pleasure!"
Susan cracked his knuckles. "Mind if I join in? I think a LOT of us have a bit of frustration to work out…"
"Hold on," Reiji interjected. "He's under G-Man custody now, so I can't allow you to kill him." He paused, then meaningfully glanced away and said, "However, I need to go process Hiryu now, so I'll simply have to trust that nothing untoward happens in my absence. And if he has a few more bruises and injuries when I return… Well, he WAS just stepped on by a giant Takeshi Hongo, it's understandable he might've slipped a little."
The future Tsukasa gulped as Reiji walked away and everyone menacingly advanced on him. "You know, I'm starting to think this might not have been the best idea…"
…
With the time war over, one last titanic struggle remained. In the skies above, the entire Gaimist Pantheon and their heavenly host were arrayed against the Evolt from another world and the unending horrors he was able to call forth from the black hole from which he had entered this reality. Inves died in droves trying to hold back the tide of nightmares with the help of the Energhar. Valkyrien were everywhere, collecting the souls of the fallen and immediately reincarnating them to reenter the fray. The gods were throwing everything they had at the interdimensional invader, who was laughing madly as he countered their attacks with chilling ease, shrugging off blows that could shatter planets and retaliating with bursts of gravitic force that could annihilate solar systems.
But all that paled in comparison to the heated battle taking place a few hundred meters away from the heart of the struggle.
"No, no, you need to turn it THIS way-"
"What? No, don't be ridiculous, you have no idea what you're talking about, you need to do THIS-"
"Both of you are being silly, it doesn't work like that-evo! Look, you've got to push this bit here, then that, and-"
"No, no, no! That's just making it WORSE!"
Build, Duke, and Evolto-Chan were gathered around the non-Euclidean Pandora Box the other Evolt had brought with him, arguing over how they were supposed to use it to make the various black holes and Pandora towers disappear and save the planet.
"I have more experience with Blood technology and the Pandora Box than any human alive, I think I know what I'm talking about," Sento argued with the other two.
Evolto-Chan giggled and shook her head pityingly. "Silly Sento-kun! You are indeed a brilliant human, but you barely know the first thing about Blood technology, as compared to myself, an ACTUAL Blood! You should let me figure this out before you make a mistake and blow us all up-evo!"
"You may be Blood, but you're not exactly a scientist," Duke pointed out. "I, however, am the God of science, and I believe I have a far greater insight of how this device works then either of you!"
"You may be a God, but my people never really had a lot of faith in the divine, seeing has how we killed all of ours-evo," Evolto-Chan replied, pulling the box away from Duke.
"Yes, and where are your people now, hmm? Last I checked, they destroyed themselves!" Duke retorted, pulling the box back.
"Which just goes to show how tough we were, that it took one of our own to wipe us out when every other civilized race that tried failed-evo!" Evolto-Chan declared proudly.
"Oh, like THAT'S something to be proud of!" Duke snapped.
Evolto-Chan tilted her head, blinking at him cutely. "And is being the God of science really such a big deal? I thought you only got the job because Gaim-kun felt bad about you getting killed back when you were human so brought everyone who got killed during the Helheim conflict back as gods or angels or holy warriors, even though you murdered his girlfriend-evo!".
"I was brought back as a God because Gaim was able to see past my mistakes in life and respect my genius!" Duke declared haughtily.
"Then why did he bring back Sigurd-evo?" Evolto-Chan asked innocently.
"… SHUT UP!" Duke screamed, having no real counter to that argument.
"Guys, now is not the time for this!" Sento interjected. He tried to snatch the box away from both of them. "And besides, you're both doing it wrong, what we need to do is-"
"STAY OUT OF THIS!" They both yelled at him, pulling the box back.
"All of you, SHUT UP!" Ryuga yelled, seizing control of the body he and Sento were sharing and angrily smacking the box.
The numerous bottles covering the box suddenly lit up. All three (or four, depending on how you look at it) Riders quickly floated back, eyes widening in alarm as the box trembled and rose into the air, colorful lights flashing across its surfaces as it twirled, spun, and reconfigured itself in ways which gave them a headache trying to comprehend before unleashing a pulse of energy which rippled across the sky.
The myriad Pandora Towers paused in their drilling… Then abruptly reversed directions, rotating out of the ground and retracting back into the black holes which had spawned them. One by one, the smaller black holes that had been popping up everywhere started closing as well, and the wormholes the towers were emerging from began to shrink as they were withdrawn.
"WHAT?!" The other Evolt cried in disbelief, the minor distraction allowing Lord Baron to swoop in and decapitate him. His head regenerated a moment later, but still.
The three (or four) Riders stared in disbelief at the sky as more and more of the black holes link closed. "You know," Evolto-Chan said finally. "In retrospect, that probably should've been the first thing we tried-evo."
"There… There is no logical explanation for why that worked," the dumbfounded Duke stammered.
"Actually, considering that the Pandora Box is a device created by the Blood Tribe, and Banjo is part-Blood due to the Evoltic cells in him, it makes sense that it would react to his desires and get rid of all the towers and black holes," Sento speculated.
"But Evolt is a FULL Blood! Why wouldn't it do the same for him?!" Duke demanded." Her. Whatever!"
"You geniuses were overthinking it, obviously!" Ryuga snorted.
Evolto-Chan burst into laughter and hugged Build, shoving their face into her rather sizable breasts. "That's my boy! I'm so proud of you, Banjo-kun-evo!"
"Ahhh! No! Stop it!" Banjo wailed, flailing frantically to try and extricate himself from the alien horror's breasts.
"I think I actually preferred it when he was constantly insulting us in trying to kill us!" Sento screamed.
"Then allow me to take up that responsibility!" The other Evolt howled in fury, one of his tendrils stiffening into a spear point and lancing outwards, twisting through and around the numerous gods and holy warriors as it streaked towards Build's heart.
Evolto-Chan's hand lashed out and grabbed the tendril just before it could pierce the two-in-one Rider, sparks flying and dark energies coursing through her as she struggled to keep it in check. "The only Evolt that's going to kill my boy is me-evo!"
"I'M NOT YOUR BOY!"
"You really have a strange family dynamic," Duke commented.
Sento sighed. "You have no idea."
The divine Riders tried to close in on the other Evolt, but he unleashed a wave of power, tendrils, and gnashing mouths that forced them back as he rose higher into the air. "You think you've accomplished something by stopping my box? Big deal! I've never needed that tool to destroy worlds!"
He reached a hand skywards, rotating the Vortex Lever on his Driver. "Quick question, how attached are you guys to your moon? Because you're about to get an up close and personal experience with it!"
READY, GO! BLACK HOLE BREAK! CIAO!
An absolutely COLOSSAL black hole tore open the sky, and an unimaginably massive gray surface pockmarked with craters and black maria began to emerge, slowly descending towards the world below.
"Oh come on, this again?!" Yelled an exasperated Taiga.
Usa gasped. "H-home?"
Kyuko and Nyaria wailed and clung to their mother's legs. "Waaahhh! It's scary, mama! Make it go away!"
Kyuubi frowned. "I'll see what I can do, but… This may be a bit difficult, even for me…"
"Hey Kengo, I think I can see what's left of Rabbit Hutch!" Gentaro exclaimed.
"Gentaro, that's really not what we should be focusing on right now-" Kengo started, only to pause and take a second look. "Huh. You're right, I think that is the Hutch."
"Did I ever apologize for destroying it?" Gamou asked awkwardly. "Because if not, I really am. Sorry, that is."
Suddenly, Koji reached up, catching the descending moon in his hands. He grunted as it pressed down on him, knees shaking, the earth shattering beneath his feet. "I could use… A little… Help here…" He grunted.
"And you shall have it!" Hongo declared, quickly reaching up to push back against the moon as well.
"Same here," Kiriya added, adding his support. "Oh God, it's even heavier than I imagined…" He gasped. "Koji, didn't you say we didn't have much time left before the J Force wore off?"
"Which is why I really, really hope someone finds a way to fix this and fast," Koji replied.
"Dude, it's just like Majora's Mask," Nico murmured, awed and more than a little horrified. "Except we've only got three giants instead of four, and the moon doesn't have a horrifying face carved into it."
"I think we have a lot more than four giants to help," Jiro noted as every mecha present rocketed into the air and started pushing back against the moon with all their strength.
Godzilla narrowed his eyes angrily at the moon, roaring at it as if it's very presence offended him. On his back, Mothra trilled and spread her wings, shimmering with energy. To the amazement and disbelief of all watching, she beat her wings… And, impossibly, started lifting Godzilla into the air, carrying the 164,000 ton ancient dinosaur as if he were as light as a feather so he could lend his strength to the rest.
"Kengo, can I use my wormhole powers to reverse that black hole?" Gentaro asked his brilliant friend.
"You can try, but… I think it's too big," Kengo warned him.
"Well, every little bit helps!" Gentaro insisted.
"I wish there were something I could do," Gamou lamented. "But without the power of the Virgo Switch, I can't call upon the power of the Dark Nebula."
"Actually…" A compartment opened on the side of Kengo's Powerdizer, revealing several egg -shaped ornately designed red and silver devices with large red buttons on the top. "As it happens, we've been working on trying to replicate the Zodiarts Switches in an attempt to find a safer method to harness the power of the Dark Nebula to reach the Presenters. As it just so happens, I brought some of the prototypes we've been working on just in case. Unfortunately, they're still rather unstable, so I can't guarantee they won't blow up in your face if you try to use them."
"I'll take that risk," Gamou vowed, grabbing one of the switches. "I've already died once, after all. I'm not afraid to do it again."
He pressed the button on top of the switch, grunting in pain as red and black energy crackled across his form. "Gah… It feels as if every cell in my body is tearing itself apart… But… I can bear this… I… MUST… Bear this…"
"Everyone, come on! Let's see if we can do something about the moon!" Sougo commanded the others.
"Does that include us?" SOUGO asked awkwardly. "I mean, I don't exactly have very strong time powers to begin with."
"And I think I'm under arrest," Geiz Immortal said, still a bit shell-shocked at the realization of just how much he'd been played. He glanced at Reiji. "AM I under arrest?"
Reiji sighed and pinched his brow. "You know what, I honestly have no idea at this point. We can discuss it later. If you can help now, help."
"I could help too," the badly-beaten future Tsukasa offered weakly.
"NO!" Everyone yelled at him.
"Evolt, you can do something about this, right?" Sento asked the alien horror.
"Already trying to," Evolto-Chan grunted. "The other guy is fighting me on this, though… And I hate to admit it, but he's a LOT stronger-evo!"
"Then we should use the Box," Duke suggested. "Surely it can aid us in this."
"Okay," Ryuga said, preparing to punch the box again.
"Let's hold off on that for the moment," Sento said quickly, grabbing their shared body's left arm before his partner could hit it. "I think I have a better understanding of how it works now… Maybe if we…"
Evolt laughed in amusement. "All of you really think you've got a shot at stopping me, don't you?"
Without even looking, he pointed a limb behind him and blasted Gaim away before he could stab him in the back, more appendages sprouting from his body to fire away at the warriors of the Pantheon. He pointed a hand at the moon, gathering power. "Let's just nip that in the bud, shall we?"
He fired, a massive blast of raw power that rent space asunder lancing towards the falling moon, dozens of smaller beams branching off from it and zeroing in on the myriad heroes striving to stop the descending celestial body…
And suddenly Satsuki appeared in a flurry of peach blossoms.
"I think not."
| CLICK AND OPEN! |
| FINISHING MOVE! VALKYRIEN PROFILE: PEACH CRITICAL BULLET! |
"Ogimachi Style: Lightspeed Viper Fist!"
And suddenly, there was a MASSIVE wall of mecha-sized pink fists and silver Vipers between her and the other Evolt. The fusillade of reality-bending blasts slammed into the wall and broke, explosions blossoming across the sky as fist after Viper after fist relentlessly pummeled the seemingly endless waves of energy, slowly but surely pushing back against the barrage.
"The hell?!" The other Evolt grunted, startled to discover he was actually being forced to exert energy to hold back the assault.
In puffs of smoke and peach blossoms, dozens of Mizukis appeared around Evolt, each of them pointing their Gashacon Arrows at him, holy bolts primed to fire. "Nishikikoji-style Ninja Art: Millions of Darkness-Piercing Light Arrows!"
| CLICK AND OPEN! |
| FINISHING MOVE! DINO RAMPAGE CRITICAL FINISH! |
In unison, the ninjas fired their arrows.
A wave of gravitational force rippled off of the other Evolt, distorting the space around him and causing the arrows to stop in place. "Not even light can escape the grasp of a black hole," he taunted. "Was your little light show supposed to do something?"
"Yes," Mizuki said as her many doppelgängers vanished. "It kept you distracted."
There was the sound of a zipper opening.
| CLICK TO OPEN! FINISHING MOVE! |
| CLICK TO CLOSE! |
| TADDLE LEGEND CRITICAL FINISH! |
Howling at the top of his lungs, Hiiro sprung forth from a dimensional crack, bringing Gashicalibur down on the cord connecting the other Evolt to his black hole with all his might…
And the sword shattered.
What? Wait, no, that wasn't-
Nice try, human.
You can… You can hear me?!
Please. I'm an eldritch horror from another reality. You really think your little reality-writing tricks are going to work against a being like me? ME?
No… No, this isn't-
It was fun watching you play storyteller with everyone else, but I think it's time we brought this little tale to an end, don't you? It's gone on for far, FAR too long.
No… Wait!
As Hiiro reeled back in disbelief, fragments of his broken sword flying around him, a tendril surged towards his back-
Only for him to evade at the last minute, emitting a golden blast of light which obliterated the tendril before it could pierce him-
And so didn't see the black hole gape open behind him, his flight path carrying him right towards it-
He cut open a dimensional crack-
Or rather, he TRIED to, but with his broken sword, he couldn't even make a shallow cut in reality-
Mizuki threw a kusarigama to Hiiro. He reached out to grab it so she could pull him to safety-
A tentacle drove through her skull-
Which burst into smoke, it had just been a shadow clone. The real Mizuki wrapped a chain around Hiiro and pulled him away-
A horrific abomination, a thing of nightmares looking as if countless Lost Smashes had been melted down, poured into a broken mold, and left to sit out in the sun for too long opened its misshapen mouths wide to swallow them whole-
But Satsuki came to the rescue, punching it in the face so hard it exploded-
A beam of raw power consumed her, disintegrating her down to the last atom-
Only for her to reconstitute moments later. She was an Energhar, after all, and with all the divine energy and Valkyrien about, it was child's play to pull herself back together-
Evolt, losing patience, turned his attention away from the three insignificant specks and back towards the moon, generating a quantum singularity that shattered the celestial object, the explosion killing all who'd tried to arrest its descent-
But Sougo and his friends rewound time, restoring the moon and bringing back everyone who had just been annihilated-
Irritated by the constant abuse of time travel this day, the Hounds of Tindalos materialized to tear the so-called King and his allies to shreds-
Only to be distracted by dog treats Momotaros produced. Given all the time travel shenanigans he and his friends had gotten into over the years, he never left the train without some-
Oh for… THE HACK WRITER RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS DRIVEL SUDDENLY SUFFERED A FATAL-
The other Evolt choked, his attention brought back to the present plane of existence when he realized the Kiva-la Saber had been driven into his Evol Trigger. The damaged power-up item sparked and crackled, his body freezing up. "What…?"
"Bet you didn't see THAT coming, did you now?" Taunted Poppy, hands wrapped around the sword's hilt.
"You… How did you…" Evolt stammered, flabbergasted.
"You were too busy struggling over control of reality to keep track of what was going on closer to Earth," she informed him. "As such, it was pretty easy for me to use my many abilities to get in close and run you through."
"Well, congratulations," the other Evolt snarled, gathering his power, diminished by the damage to his Driver but by no means less dangerous. "Now I get to hurt your boyfriend even more by obliterating you before his eyes."
"Yeah, that's not going to happen," Poppy told him smugly.
He laughed. "What, because he's going to rewrite reality to protect you? I have no intention of letting him do that."
"No, because we are about to beat you here and now," Poppy informed him, tugging on her sword and ripping it through Evolt's body, severely damaging his Driver and nearly cutting him in half. He immediately pulled himself back together, but in that moment Poppy had tossed to the sword into a crack…
Where it landed right in Hiiro's hand. "Thank you, Poppy," he told her, examining the blade. "This should suffice."
"That alone may still not be enough," Lord Baron told him. "Kagami! I lend you my sword! Prove to me that you are worthy of it!"
He threw the Guronbaryamu blade to Hiiro, who caught it one-handed. "I would rather die than disappoint you, my Lord," the surgeon said solemnly, raising both blades over his head.
"NO!" The other Evolt howled, unleashing an attack so unfathomable mortal minds were incapable of comprehending it…
But Mizuki, Satsuki, and Poppy didn't care about that, and used their not-considerable power to shield Hiiro from the sanity-shattering attack. They wouldn't be able to hold it for long, mere seconds at most.
Hiiro didn't need nearly that much time. With a double stroke, he cleaved the cord connecting the other Evolt to the black hole in twain.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The other Evolt roared as the other end of the cable was sucked into the black hole, which promptly shrunk out of existence. The falling moon paused, then slowly began to reverse its descent, floating back into the black hole that had sucked it in. Everyone cheered as the stellar object rose back to its rightful place in the heavens.
"There is nothing I cannot cut," Hiiro said more than a hint of pride.
"You… You idiots…" The other Evolt rasped, his form glitching and distorting, struggling to remain cohesive with his connection to the Evolt collective severed. "What… What have you done?!"
"Beaten you," Poppy told him.
He gave a ragged laugh. "You… You think this means anything? There are more of us! More than there are stars in the sky! We'll never stop coming! We already have a foot in the door! You and your gods can fight us for a thousand, a million, a billion years… But SOMEDAY we'll get in, and we'll devour you all, as we have every universe before you!"
"Maybe that's the case," Gaim conceded as he and the rest of the Pantheon approached, Lord Baron reclaiming his sword from a grateful Hiiro. "But you shall not be there to witness our demise."
Zangetsu nodded. "And even if we are doomed to be devoured… So long as there is one mortal soul in the cosmos crying for our help, we will NEVER stop fighting."
"It's a good thing we are all war gods, then," Knuckle joked. "A never ending battle is just our cup of tea!"
The other Evolt laughed. "Let's see if you still feel that way after a few eons." Everyone tensed, readying their weapons as the alien horror started forming a singularity in his hand…
Which he slammed into his chest. "What… Why are you-" Ryugen stammered in surprise.
The other Evolt laughed as his body began to deform and collapse on itself. "If you think I'm going to give you the satisfaction of killing me yourself, you have another thing coming. Remember that this is only the beginning. I was but one, but WE are legion. And one day we will eat every last one of you and leave this universe a dead, empty void like all the rest."
"But why?" Gaim pressed. "Why are you so driven to consume everything? Surely there must be another way to satiate your hunger!"
"Probably," the other Evolt conceded with a grin. "But then it wouldn't be as much fun!"
And then he was no more.
"Yeah, I can see where he's coming from," Evolto-Chan admitted. "I'm not going to lie, if I had bumped into those guys a little earlier, I might've been more than happy to willingly join their collective-evo." She thought for a moment. "It's still might, actually. Depends on how things turn out. I'd hate to be on the losing side, after all-evo."
"You try to destroy the universe again, and I'll kill you!" Ryuga shouted.
Evolto-Chan burst into laughter and pinched Build's cheeks. "You're so adorable-evo."
"I AM NOT!"
"You kind of are, when you're sleeping," Sento confessed.
Ryuga groaned. "You know, this isn't helping the stereotype that we're gay for each other!"
"Are you?" Duke wondered. "Actually, I don't care. It's a pity that Evolt self-destructed before I could obtain any samples…" He grabbed the Pandora Box. "But by examining this, we might have a better idea of how to combat the collective."
"Hey, that thing is a cultural artifact of my people, and you can't appropriate it without my permission-evo!" Evolto-Chan declared.
"I don't seem to remember you caring that much when we kept the last panel of your box," Sento pointed out.
"Oh yeah, I'll want that back too at some point-evo," Evolto-Chan realized.
As the three (four) of them started arguing over who got custody of the box, Gaim bowed his head in thanks to Hiiro, Satsuki, Mizuki, and Poppy. "All of you, thank you for your assistance. I'm not certain we would've been able to save the Earth without your help."
"Your thanks are not necessary," Hiiro said humbly. "We did our duty, nothing more."
"We are certain you would have been able to overcome him eventually on your own," Satsuki agreed.
"You are correct, we would have," Lord Baron said gruffly. "But that in no way diminishes the glory you have won this day. You have all earned honored seats in Valhella at our side when your mortal lives come to an end."
"Thank you, my Lord," Hiiro said graciously.
Malika nodded, pleased with herself. "I knew I made the right choice with you three. You have made me proud. And Mizuki?"
"Yes, my lady?" The ninja asked.
"When I find time, I'll see about getting you a new form," Malika promised.
"Thank you, my lady," Mizuki said gratefully.
"Oh, and Poppy?" Gaim spoke up. "I would be happy to come to your wedding. Assuming my wife and I may attend?"
"B-but of course!" Poppy stammered, shocked. "I would be an idiot to refuse!"
"In fact," Gaim said, struck by a sudden thought. "How would you like to have it now? I admit it's a bit sudden, seeing as you got together and were engaged only a few hours ago, but… I think a wedding would be a perfect way to put a capstone on this whole adventure, don't you think?"
Poppy flushed, astonished. "Right now?! Well… That… That would be love-"
Hold that thought, Poppy. We aren't through just yet.
"Emu?" Poppy cried, startled. She hadn't heard her fiancé's voice. The words had simply just… Appeared in her head somehow. "What's going on?"
"What do you mean, we aren't finished?" Hiiro asked.
"You can hear him as well?" Satsuki asked in surprise.
"Hear who?" Asked the bewildered Gaim.
The only ones who can hear me are all of us Gamer Riders. Now that the time war has ended and the rifts in reality have been closed, I'm able to use my full power freely. Which is how I know that we aren't finished quite yet. Daijinryu is still on his way because there's one final evil for us to defeat.
"Kuroto," snarled the still-massive Kiriya.
That's right. He and his Minusaur have achieved their final forms and are preparing to strike. It's time for us to end this game once and for all. Are you ready?
"Definitely," Taiga growled.
"It's about time we put this to rest," Nico agreed. "This has been an even longer final battle sequence then the end of Kingdom Hearts III!"
Okay then. Everybody brace yourselves. We're going to do a scene change.
"A-"
…
Suddenly, all of the Gamer Riders found themselves in space.
"What?" Taiga finished. He blinked and did a double-take. "What the hell?!"
Emu, Hiiro, Taiga, Kiriya, Nico, Satsuki, Mizuki, and Jiro were now in space. The infinite blackness of the cosmos stretched out around them in all directions, the stars burning coldly in the void. Beneath them, the blue and green marble of Earth stretched out, the shape of the continents below indicating they had traveled all the way to the other side of the world. Off in the distance, they could see the blazing sun, and in the other direction they could see the moon gradually emerging from a black hole as it was put back in its proper orbit.
"Holy shit!" Jiro screamed, terrified. "We're in space! My tank isn't vacuum-sealed! Can these suits protect us from cosmic radiation? Do they have a sizable air supply?!"
Much to everyone's surprise, they could breathe just fine. They didn't feel the pressure of outer space closing in on them, the air vanishing from their lungs, the cold embrace of death or the heat of cosmic rays both freezing and boiling them alive in their suits. If it weren't for the spectacular vista around them, they might as well have been right back in the quarry as far as their bodies were concerned.
"Oh, of course," Kiriya said in relief. "Like you'd bring us all the way out here without keeping us from dying."
Emu noted. "That's right."
"But Emu, why are we here?" Poppy asked. "Where's Kuroto?"
Emu pointed.
They looked up.
What they had initially taken to be an empty patch of space gradually revealed itself to be far more than that as sunlight passed over its form, reflecting off of golden feathers and scales. Far above them, the Sphinx Minusaur hovered, having drastically changed since the last time they'd seen her. She was now at least twice as big as Rock Great Leader, her fur replaced with shining golden scales, her tail, claws, and wings now looking more like those of a dragon. Her beautiful face had been twisted into a monstrous visage of hatred with long, twisted horns curling over the back of her head. Green energy coursed through her body, growing slightly larger with each breath. "QUIIIIIIIIIIZ…"
"Yikes," Nico remarked in alarm. "She got big."
"But where's Kuroto?" Hiiro demanded.
"Right here, fools!" A familiar voice called out. (Don't ask me how they heard it. He is probably speaking through their communicators or something. Otherwise, just chalk it up to Emu altering reality.)
Squinting (or magnifying their view, for those who had a zoom feature in their visors), the Riders just managed to make out Kuroto's upper body protruding from between the Minusaur's massive breasts. His suit resembled his Zombie Gamer form, only in gold and covered in hieroglyphics and question marks, with a pharaonic headdress crowning his helm. "So, it would seem that you survived those lesser antagonists after all!" Kuroto gloated as they stared in disbelief. "Which means you have proven yourself worthy of facing me, the True Final Boss, Pharaoh-"
"Why… Why is he between her breasts?" Asked the incredulous Kiriya.
Jiro nodded. "I mean, yeah, I can't exactly fault him… Those are some MASSIVE knockers… But it's kind of… Distracting?"
"And perverted," Poppy added quickly, deciding not to mention that she had also been… Distracted.
"Let's get real, this is probably the closest he'll ever get to touching a woman's breasts in his life," Nico pointed out. Everyone nodded in agreement at this.
"HEY! I'm talking here!" Kuroto yelled angrily.
"None of us care," Hiiro said bluntly.
"Kuroto Dan, whatever you are planning, you must stop this at once!" Mizuki cried. "Daijinryuu will be here shortly, and if you continue to try to disrupt the balance, he will destroy the world!"
Kuroto laughed. "You don't think I already know that? Thanks to merging with the Sphinx Minusaur, I am even more intelligent than ever! The secrets of the universe are laid bare before me! The answers to all of the greatest questions that have plagued the human race since the dawn of time are now clear!"
"Didn't you say that before?" Taiga pointed out. "When you were using Quiz Chronicle?"
"Yes, but then I lost them when you idiots destroyed it," Kuroto snapped. "Now I found them again, plus extra! Including how to deal with Daijinryuu. It's so obvious! In hindsight, it's a wonder nobody else thought of it."
"You know how to stop him? How?" Mizuki asked in surprise.
"It's simple!" Kuroto said smugly. "If he's coming here to destroy the world, then if I destroy the world first, he'll turn around and leave! Simple!"
Everyone stared at him blankly. "… Kuroto… You LIVE on the world," Poppy said slowly.
"Yeah, plus, I thought you were trying to conquer it, not destroy it!" Jiro agreed.
Kuroto scoffed. "The planet Earth no longer holds any interest for me. Its ungrateful, stupid people have spurned my gifts for the last time. Once I destroy the world, I'll be free to create a new one, full of people who will appreciate me and give me the respect I deserve!"
"How are you going to be able to do that if Miyamoto-San took away your talent?" Hiiro pointed out.
"Killing him will give it back to me!" Kuroto said quickly. "That's how this sort of thing usually works, right?" He waved dismissively. "And even if it doesn't, the universe is a big place, I'm sure I'll find SOME way to restore my gifts. The longer I am one with the Sphinx, the smarter I become. I'll figure something out eventually."
"Won't you die before that happens?" Kiriya argued. "I thought that thing was draining your life force to become stronger."
"It has, which is why I have freely given it everything I am, becoming one with it in the process so that we can both achieve our truest potential," Kuroto explained. "A potential which I shall demonstrate… By destroying you utterly, once and for all!"
"I think not."
"Yes, well I don't care… Wait… Hojo, you look…" Kuroto squinted. Then he gasped and recoiled in horror. "No! That form! Why do you… Why do you still have that form?!"
"Is there a good reason for me not to?" Emu asked with a shrug.
"But that… That shouldn't… You shouldn't be able to use that in the real world, or outside of a text-based medium!" Kuroto protested.
Emu laughed awkwardly. "Yeah, well… About that…"
Kuroto rapidly shook his head in denial. "No! No, no, no, no, NO! I refuse! This is too much! You're cheating! You're ruining the game! Stop ruining the game! I demand you stop using that broken Gashat this instant!"
"No," Emu said.
"Then PERISH!" Kuroto roared as the Sphinx Minusaur unfurled her wings and bellowed, descending on the heroes.
Emu turned to his friends. "Everyone, this is it. The true final battle. Are you ready?"
Kiriya laughed. "Do you even need to ask?"
"You see a boat filled with people. You look again, but this time you don't see a single person on board. Why is that?" Kuroto shouted as the Minusaur prepared to strike.
"Huh?" Nico asked in confusion.
"Since he's merged with the Sphinx, he's asking us riddles instead of trivia questions," Hiiro realized.
"Quick, does anyone know the answer?" Taiga asked.
Satsuki and Mizuki glanced at each other, the answer coming to them immediately. "Because they're all married!"
The Minusaur flinched back, her charge going wild as she tumbled past them, feedback crackling across her body as Kuroto howled in agony.
| CLICK AND OPEN! |
| FINISHING MOVE! VALKYRIEN PROFILE: PEACH/DINO RAMPAGE CRITICAL BULLET/EXTINCTION! |
In a flurry of peach blossoms, the two Riders attacked, Satsuki bombarding every inch of the Minusaur with punches hard enough to shatter a mountain range at several times the speed of light while Mizuki ravaged her way across the surface of the Sphinx's body, ripping and tearing everything in her path, somehow just managing to avoid every punch before it could strike her.
Crying in pain and fury, Kuroto unleashed a blast of golden energy which flung the lovers away. He looked around him, furious at how badly his Minusaur had been damaged, her scales and armor pulverized, her mask cracked, massive claw and tooth marks covering her once-glittering surface. "You have tarnished my Queen's beauty! How dare you?!"
"… Your… Queen?" Kiriya said slowly. "Kuroto, is there something you want to tell us about your relationship with that Sphinx?"
"Well, it would certainly put a new twist on why he's nestled in her cleavage," Jiro pointed out.
"Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up!" Kuroto yelled. "Three gods, A, B, and C, are called, in some order, True, False, and Random. True always speaks truly, False always speaks falsely, but whether Random speaks truly or falsely is completely random. You must determine the identities of A, B, and C by asking three yes-or-no questions, and each question must be posed to exactly one god. The gods understand Japanese, but will answer all questions in their own language. In their unknown language, the words for "yes" and "no" are "da" and "ja," in some order. You do not know which word means which."
The Sphinx roared, charging energy into her crook and flail, which grew to tremendous sizes and burst into flame as she lashed out at them.
"Um. Could you repeat the question?" Kiriya asked awkwardly.
Hiiro scoffed, spreading his wings and gliding forwards. "And what do you know of gods, Kuroto? The questions are: 1. To god A: "Does 'da' mean 'yes' if and only if you are True and if and only if B is Random?" 2. To god B: "Does "da" mean 'yes' if and only if Pluto is a dwarf planet?" 3. And to god B (True) again: "Does 'da' mean 'yes' if and only if A is Random?"
As the weapons came down on him, Hiiro summoned a new Gashicalibur and inserted his Gashat into it.
| CLICK TO OPEN! FINISHING MOVE! |
| CLICK TO CLOSE! |
| TADDLE LEGEND CRITICAL FINISH! |
Charging a tremendous amount of energy into his sword, he swung it out before him, creating a colossal blade of light that sliced through the Minusaur and her weapons.
The crook and flail went out and fell to pieces.
After a moment, the Sphinx herself was bisected, her humanoid upper half detaching from her leonine underbody.
"No! NO!" Kuroto screamed as the upper half of the Sphinx tumbled through space before spreading her wings, managing to stop herself.
"Look at that, he's become half the man he used to be!" Taiga joked.
"Dude. Really? Low-hanging fruit," Jiro chided him.
"Did we just castrate him?" Nico wondered. "Or is he a she now? Or a they? Just how deeply is Kuroto connected to that Minusaur? I really want to know this, so I don't misgender anyone by mistake."
"I'll misgender you!" Kuroto yelled angrily as a hideous lion face emerged from the front of the severed lower body, roared, and lunged at them.
"That doesn't make any sense," Kiriya pointed out.
"I DON'T CARE! Turn me on my side and I am everything. Cut me in half and I am nothing. What am I?" Kuroto demanded.
"The number eight!" Kiriya replied, lunging forwards and tackling the lion. The huge monster snarled and roared and claw and bit at him. The gigantic Rider ignored the pain and grappled the beast, tumbling through space while slamming his head into its face again and again to try and stun it. When the monster reeled back, dazed, Kiriya wrapped his arms around his neck and his legs around its midsection and started twisting, trying to snap its neck.
He was unaware that the Sphinx's upper half was powering up for an attack. "A man runs away from home. He turns left, and keeps running. After some time he turns left again and keeps running. He later turns left once more and runs back home. Who was the man in the mask?" Kuroto asked as the Sphinx spread her wings, millions of feathers and scales launching off of them and streaking towards Kiriya and the lion in beams of light.
"The catcher!" Taiga shouted as Team Snipe flew in front of the missiles, activating his finisher.
| CLICK TO OPEN! |
| FINISHING MOVE! |
}!{ BANG BANG CRITICAL FIRE! }!{
All of his launchers fired at the same time as Nico fired all of her ship's weapons and Jiro's tank, missile after missile streaking from them to intercept Kuroto's fusillade, the projectiles colliding and erupting in a spectacular display of fireworks.
Kiriya, with a mighty cry, flipped over and hurled the lion at the massive explosions. The beast sailed through the cloud, catching fire, and slammed into the upper half of the Sphinx, sending both flying.
| CLICK TO OPEN! |
| FINISHING MOVE! |
}!{ BANG BANG/METROID CRITICAL STRIKE/BEAM! }!{
Nico emerged from the top of her ship and fired a colossal laser beam from her cannon so bright it could be seen from the planet below at the same time as Jiro shot himself out of his main cannon, the beam and living bullet colliding with the lion at the same time, piercing through it and the Sphinx behind it and tearing out the other side. The lion roared once, piteously, before erupting in a tremendous explosion which consumed Kuroto and the Sphinx as well.
Jiro continued shooting off into space. Without any friction or gravity to hold him back, he would keep on flying forever until he at last left the solar system several millennia into the future…
Or at least he would have if Satsuki and Mizuki hadn't caught him in time. "Got you!" Satsuki exclaimed, gently cradling the dazed Rider.
"That was a close one," Mizuki admonished him. "What were you thinking, risking yourself like that? Just because you're a Bugster doesn't mean you can just casually throw your life away!"
"Am I in Helheim?" Jiro asked, mind spinning. "The girls here are even prettier than I imagined…"
The couple chuckled, blushing under their masks. "No, you're not in Helheim," Satsuki told him in amusement.
"I'm pretty sure you've earned yourself a place there, though," Mizuki assured him.
"Okay. I go sleep now," Jiro mumbled, passing out.
"You know, he's kind of cute like this," Satsuki remarked. "Not just because of the whole chibi aesthetic."
"I'm sorry?" Mizuki asked, upset.
"Don't worry, dearest, you're always second in my heart," Satsuki assured her.
"Second?!" Mizuki demanded.
"Well, of course. Our Lady always comes first," Satsuki reminded her.
"Oh. A fair point," Mizuki conceded.
As the flames engulfing what was left of the Sphinx Minusaur inevitably ran out of oxygen and extinguished, it was clear the Minusaur had seen better days. Most of her body had been scorched and blackened, there was a massive hole in her stomach, her wings were tattered and full of holes, one of her arms had been blasted off below the elbow, her beautiful jewelry was broken and shattered, one of her breasts was just gone (much to Kuroto's dismay), and a rather sizable crack ran down the middle of her mask.
Kuroto, his armor blackened, coughed. "Okay… That could have gone better…" He rasped.
The crack in the Sphinx's mask grew, spider webbing across her face. Finally, it shattered, revealing her true visage, a twisted, hideous caricature of Poppy. "QUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZ!"
Nico screamed in horror. "Holy crap! What is that?!"
"Well, I'm going to have nightmares for the rest of my life," Kiriya remarked.
"Kuroto! Why the Helheim does she look like Poppy?!" Taiga demanded.
"Actually," Poppy said, face going pale beneath her mask. "I think that might be his mother." She shuddered. "Not that that makes it any better."
"I don't know!" Kuroto shrieked, equally horrified as he clung to the Minusaur's remaining breast to keep from drifting off into space. "I didn't make her!"
"You kind of did," Hiiro pointed out.
"Not intentionally!"
Satsuki and Mizuki flew back over with the unconscious Jiro held between them. "According to Asuna," Mizuki spoke up, receiving information through the Dino Hope. "Minusaurs usually reflect a sort of subconscious fear or desire of their host. Such as how the Shen Minusaur was resistant to fire and could generate illusions because it was made from a rookie firefighter who aspired to be a film director, or the Medusa Minusaur kept screaming at people to look at her and had the power to petrify them because she was made from a young woman who really wanted to be a popular YouTube star, but her videos were horrifically boring."
"So… What, exactly, does this say about Kuroto?" Wondered a disturbed Taiga.
"We are probably better off not knowing," Hiiro said sagely.
"This is so messed up," Kiriya gagged.
"I'll mess you up!" Kuroto shouted as the Sphinx opened her mouth wide, the jaw distorting and extending further than seemed anatomically possible, making her face even more grotesque. "A man is found murdered in his office. The suspects are Peter, Julie, Jason, Molly and Brian. In the office is a calendar with the numbers 6,4,9,10,11 written in blood. Who is the killer?"
With a scream, the Sphinx fired an energy beam at least half again as large as she was at the Riders.
"Jason is the killer!" Poppy declared. "The numbers indicate months and the first letter of each month spells the name of the murderer, e.g. the 6th month is June and the first letter of June is J, the 4th month is April and the first letter of April is a, and so on."
She tapped the statuette on her forehead.
| POPPY! FINISHING MOVE! |
| CLICK TO GO! FINISHING MOVE! CRITICAL HEAVEN! |
Poppy spread her wings, the appendages expanding until they were at least a thousand times as large as she was, holy light radiating off them as silver feathers flew everywhere. Pearly gates opened in the air all around her as every known female Kamen Rider in existence appeared, all of them also with beautiful silver and white wings. (Satsuki, Mizuki, and Nico were already there, so just sprouted wings, much to their delight.)
As an angelic choir sang, Poppy took flight towards the colossal energy blast, the numerous other female warriors following suit. The ladies' feet collided with the energy beam, blinding light flashing from the point of impact, a colossal energy wave rippling outwards and buffeting the moon as it continued to emerge from the black hole, tremors rippling across its surface and wiping away footprints left decades ago by astronauts from many nations.
"Hey guys, let's help them out!" Kiriya suggested, priming his Driver.
"Good idea," Hiiro agreed, doing the same.
"Nico, I'm coming!" Taiga declared, preparing himself.
| CLICK TO OPEN! |
| FINISHING MOVE! |
}!{ BANG BANG/TADDLE/ICHIGO CRITICAL FINISH! }!{
The three male Riders launched towards the beam, adding their Rider Kicks to those of the angelic women.
"Emu, you going to help out?" Kiriya yelled back at the white Rider, who hadn't visibly done anything since they'd gotten there.
"I already am," Emu said mysteriously. "Keep it up!"
"No… NO!" Kuroto cried in disbelief as, bit by bit the Riders pushed the beam back towards him. "This can't be happening!" He narrowed his eyes, suddenly realizing the truth. "Wait… This SHOULDN'T be happening! Hojo! You are doing this! You're using the power of Mighty Novel X! That's why your friends know the answers to all my riddles, and why I haven't been able to outsmart you using my vastly superior intellect and superior power!"
"I will admit to the first, but not so much to the second," Emu confessed with a shrug.
"Then all I have to do is remove you from the equation, and victory will finally be mine!" Kuroto declared, pointing a hand at Emu and firing a massive golden energy beam at the Rider.
The energy beam dissipated before it could even strike Emu.
"No… No… NO!" Desperate, Kuroto fired more energy blasts.
These impacted. They simply did no damage.
"NO! Stop that, damn you! You're cheating!" Kuroto whined.
"You're one to talk," Emu retorted.
"Yes, but I'm the bad guy! I'm SUPPOSED to cheat! You're the good guy! You aren't!" Kuroto protested petulantly.
"I am simply using whatever tools are at my disposal to finally bring this overlong battle to a decisive end," Emu replied calmly. "You are the one who drove me to this, Kuroto. I would've been perfectly happy never using this form ever again."
Kuroto glanced up, noticing with alarm that the Riders had almost completely pushed the beam back towards the Minusaur. "Then perhaps you should give it to someone with far fewer moral compunctions not to use it!" He snarled, kicking off from the Sphinx's breast and launching himself through space towards Emu.
Behind him, all the Riders finally blasted their way through the energy beam and collided with the Sphinx's chest, ripping through it and flying out the other side, leaving a massive cavity where the torso had been. The Minusaur wailed in anguish, its disintegrating form tumbling towards the Moon, where it exploded on impact, creating a huge new crater in one of the lunar seas.
Kuroto sailed through space towards Emu, priming his Driver.
| CLICK TO GO! FINISHING MOVE! CRITICAL END! |
"One last riddle, Emu!" Kuroto cried, shifting his body into a side kick. "One which I doubt even your stupidly broken powers can answer! What is the meaning of life?"
Emu shook his head pityingly. "Kuroto, I don't NEED the powers of Mighty Novel X to answer that. The meaning of life is different for every person. But I've known what mine was for years now…" He activated his Driver. "It's to heal the sick, to save those in need… And to protect the world from people like you."
| CLICK TO OPEN! |
| FINISHING MOVE! |
}!{ NOVEL CRITICAL DESTINY! }!{
Emu launched himself at Kuroto in his own Rider kick, moving faster than his Muteki Gamer's finishing move.
Their feet connected.
…
Daijinryuu paused, seeing a star flare to life in the distance, then twinkle out of existence. He narrowed his eyes, dissipating the planet-shattering energy he'd been gathering in his mouth.
"Balance… Has been restored."
Without a second thought, he turned and flew away.
…
GAME CLEAR!
…
"According to the latest satellite footage," Abrella reported, staring into his tablet. "Kuroto Dan has been defeated. Daijinryuu has left the solar system."
"Then… It's over?" Dogranio asked cautiously.
"Unless something else happens," Abrella informed him.
They waited a moment. Nothing happened.
"I guess it really is over, then," Dogranio decided, sighing in relief. "And thank goodness. I am far, FAR too old for this much excitement."
Ginis sighed in disappointment. "And so the world is saved, and good triumphs over evil once again. How disappointing. It seems that none of them were Deathgalien material after all." He shrugged. "Oh well. At least it made for an entertaining show. I shall have to think of a way to top this for next time-"
"There won't BE a next time!"
Startled, Ginis turned to see that the Dekarangers and Zyuohgers were charging towards him, weapons out. "Moebonian Ginis!" Ban declared. "You've been charged with the destruction of 99 planets for your sick and twisted Blood Game!"
"And we'll make sure that you never do the same to any others!" Yamato agreed, hefting the Whale Change Gun.
"Again, that is," Misao added.
"What?!" Ginis cried in alarm.
"Officers! Thank goodness you came!" Abrella wailed dramatically. "I was wondering if you had gotten my message! I was so worried that he would kill me and my associates! Weren't we, Dogranio?"
Dogranio started. "What? I mean, um, yes! Yes, we were VERY distressed!" Dogranio yelled, playing along. "After all, I'm just a helpless old man, with no way to protect himself from a genocidal space tyrant like Ginis! Such good police you are. I only wish my grandchildren can be as diligent as you fine pigs – – I mean officers of the law!"
"I was very afraid," Combined Combatant Plus droned, not sounding very afraid.
"Abrella… You sold me out?!" Ginis howled, outraged.
"But of course!" Abrella declared innocently. "I am, after all, a law-abiding citizen."
"Okay, you can cut it out, we know you're still evil," Jasmine said in exasperation.
"Can you prove it?" Abrella asked pointedly.
"… Unfortunately, no," Hoji grumbled. "Otherwise we'd be charging you as well." Doggie growled in irritation.
"Well, I'm still unashamedly evil. But, since I'm from another dimension and not outer space, I'm out of your jurisdiction," Dogranio said cheerfully.
"But not ours!"
Dogranio swore as he saw the Patrangers charging up the hill towards him. "Oh, SHIT."
"Dogranio Yaboon!" Keiichiro Asaka bellowed, pulling ahead of his comrades. "By the power vested in us by the Global Police, we'll deal with you by force!"
Dogranio quickly shot to his feet. "Welp, looks like that's my cue to exit. Abrella, I'll be in touch."
"You shall do no such thing, criminal scum!" Abrella yelled loudly, surreptitiously slipping Dogranio his contact information. "I am a law-abiding citizen, and shall have nothing to do with the likes of you!"
"Right. Of course," Dogranio chuckled, winking at Abrella. He whistled, and the Goram suddenly appeared, picking him up just as the Patrangers reached the couch.
"No! Get back here!" Keiichiro yelled, angrily firing on the giant monster, who didn't even seem to register the shots as it turned and started to walk away.
"Better luck next time, coppers!" Dogranio cackled as the Goram stepped into thin air and disappeared, space rippling and distorting briefly as it passed into the Back World.
"NO!" Keiichiro shouted furiously.
"Hey! Why didn't you do anything?" Sakuya Hikawa angrily demanded of Abrella.
"Me? What could I possibly have done, officer?" Abrella inquired, genuinely perplexed.
"Your buddy here has the power to control any footsoldier, minion, or grunt, right?" Sakuya pointed out. "Why didn't you tell him to stop the Goram so we could catch Dogranio?"
"Oh," Abrella exclaimed, startled. "Well, you see…Combined Combatant Plus can only control REGULAR-SIZED foot soldiers, minions, or grunts. Giants are right out."
"What are you talking about, master?" Combined Combatant Plus asked, confused. "You know that I can-"
"GIANTS ARE RIGHT OUT," Abrella repeated loudly. "You can rest assured, however, that I would be more than happy to lend you my assistance in bringing that scoundrel to justice! I may have just come back from the dead, but I still have a considerable amount of resources that I could provide you with in hunting him down, or any other interdimensional criminal." He turned to the Dekarangers. "I would also be more than happy to offer you assistance in capturing Alienizers, of whom I no longer wish to have any affiliation with."
Both teams of police glared at him. "We'll think about it," Doggy snarled, making it clear that he would not, in fact, be thinking about it.
"Always happy to oblige," Abrella said cheerfully, getting to his feet. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I should see about reuniting with my associates. It would not surprise me if Z decides to throw a victory celebration. I wonder what sort of cuisine they have in the dark realm… Come along, Combined Combatant Plus."
"Yes, Master," the horrific amalgamation intoned, following Abrella.
"Abrella!" Sen-chan shouted.
Abrella hesitated. "Yes?"
The green Dekaranger gestured at the hundreds of underlings standing around the quarry, exactly as they had been ever since Combined Combatant Plus had ordered them to stop. "What about them?"
"Them?" Abrella slapped his forehead. "Ah, thank you ever so much for reminding me, officer! Don't worry, I'll take all of my employees with me."
"FOLLOW!" Combined Combatant Plus bellowed at the army of underlings. Mindlessly, they marched after Abrella and Combined Combatant Plus in the direction of the Behemoth of Darkness.
"That's not… Aaaaaaaand he's gone," Sen-chan sighed.
"Are you SURE we can't arrest him?" Umeko pleaded.
"He hasn't done anything illegal," Tekkan pointed out. He paused. "That we can prove."
"What about enslaving all those mooks?" Ban suggested.
"That's… A bit of a legal gray area," Swan admitted. "It's debatable to what extent they count as people, so…"
"Excuse me?" Everyone turned to Pumpkin Rapper, who had awkwardly raised his hand. "So… Am I under arrest, or can I just go now?"
"That depends. Have you done anything illegal recently?" Tsukasa Myoujin asked.
"I don't… Think so?" Pumpkin Rapper said awkwardly.
"Then you're probably fine," Tsukasa said.
"Oh. Good." Pumpkin Rapper paused. "So, do I still get paid, or-"
"Get out of here!" Keiichiro snapped, to angry that Dogranio had gotten away to care about a relatively harmless monster.
Pumpkin Rapper gulped. "Sure thing, officer!" He quickly started disassembling his set.
Ginis fidgeted. "So… Are you going to arrest or delete me, or…?"
"Oh, right," Ban realized, flipping open his license.
[O] JUDGMENT TIME! [X]
"For alien criminals, the Special Police can request the universe's ultimate court for judgment."
Everyone who was not a Dekaranger started. "Who said that?!" Sakuya yelled, frantically pointing his blaster in every direction to find the unseen speaker.
"Oh Gao God, the voices are back!" Misao wailed.
"That is a mystery not even I have figured out," Swan admitted.
The deletion was approved, incidentally. Was there ever any doubt?
…
The Gamer Riders reappeared in the quarry.
| CLICK TO SAVE! |
Emu immediately removed the Mighty Novel X Gashat. "Never again," he swore as his suit vanished into pixels.
Red and blue particles spun off of Emu and coalesced to form Parad. "You realize you're probably going to have to use it again someday, right?"
Emu grimaced. "Yeah, I know."
"DUDE! That was so cool!" Nico gushed. "We got to fight a giant monster in outer space!"
"Nico, you can take your suit off now," Taiga told his not-girlfriend, having already changed back to normal along with just about everyone else. "The fight's over."
"I am never taking the suit off again. You can't make me," Nico insisted.
"Not even to use the bathroom?" Jiro needled.
"Pretty sure the suit can eliminate waste product," Nico informed him smugly. She hesitated. "… I should probably check on that, just to be safe."
"We all fought in space, but I got to do so is a giant!" Kiriya bragged. He frowned, glancing around at everyone. "Have… Have I always been this size? I didn't shrink when I changed back to normal, did I?"
"No, you have not," Satsuki informed him.
Poppy groaned and collapsed against Emu's shoulder. "Ugggggggggh. I am pi-pu-pe-po-pooped. This has been the longest day ever."
"At least it's finally over," he told her with a tired smile.
"It… Is over, right?" Parad asked uneasily.
Everyone froze. After a few minutes of nothing happening, they relaxed. "I think we're done for the day," Hiiro decided. Everyone nodded in agreement.
"Guys!"
The Bugsters rushed over. "You're back! Does that mean you've won?" Salty demanded.
"Is Kuroto Dan dead?" Alhambra asked hopefully.
"Yeah, he's dead," Parad informed them.
They all cheered. "Finally! Now we never have to deal with that bastard again!" Revol proclaimed joyfully.
"Wait… Are you sure about that?" Motors asked in alarm. "We thought he died before, but he keeps on coming back. Are you sure you used up all his extra lives?"
"We did," Taiga told him. He frowned. "You're right, though. That doesn't necessarily mean this is the last we've seen of Kuroto."
"It wouldn't surprise me if he's got like half a dozen other backups just waiting to show up and cause us more trouble," Kiriya complained, face screwing up in exasperation.
"While in all likelihood, he will return someday," Emu told the Bugsters. "I think, for now, he's gone."
"And if he returns, we shall be ready," Hiiro promised them.
The Bugsters nodded. "Yeah, we can always count on you guys to clean Kuroto's clock," Charlie agreed.
"And maybe next time, we'll even get a crack at him, now that we are no longer programmed to obey him," Hatena agreed.
"But now that Kuroto's gone… What will happen to us?" Totema asked uneasily.
A tense silence filled the air. "I really don't want to fight you guys again," Parad said after a moment. "It's been a long day."
"We don't have to be enemies anymore," Emu pointed out. "You aren't programmed to be any longer."
"Yes, but that doesn't mean we have to be friends either," Salty pointed out.
Alhambra nodded in agreement. "There's quite a lot of bad blood between us, after all."
"But there doesn't have to be!" Poppy pleaded. "You're free now, to do whatever you like! You can be GOOD Bugsters now!"
"Can we, though?" Totema wondered.
"Well, I am," Charlie pointed out.
"And I think I'm ready to finally take the plunge and switch sides," Motors volunteered. "I'm sick of always getting my ass kicked."
"Given our repeated failures, it… May make more sense for us to try to bury the hatchet then continue this pointless enmity," Hatena volunteered hesitantly.
"It… Did feel kind of nice when we were fighting alongside those Riders and Sentai against all those other monsters," Revol admitted. "It actually felt really good to be on the winning side for a change."
Collabos beeped and buzzed in agreement.
"So?" Parad asked hopefully.
The Bugsters who were still on the fence mulled it over for a bit. "All I know for certain," Salty said after a moment. "Is that I am far too tired to fight anymore." He regarded Emu. "Emu Hojo. If you allow us to leave here today unharmed… I cannot guarantee that we will be friends the next time we meet, but I also cannot say we will be enemies. This is… Something we will need some time to consider."
Emu glanced at the others, who gave him brief nods. "I think that's acceptable," he told the Bugsters. "But… If we hear that you're causing trouble…"
"Then you will terminate us with extreme prejudice. I understand," Salty finished Emu's sentence, nodding in understanding.
He turned, swishing his cape. "Come, comrades! Let us be off!" He paused, then glanced back over his shoulder. "Oh, and Hojo? You had better treat Poppy like a damned princess."
"I'll treat her like a goddess," Emu said seriously.
Poppy giggled and hugged him. "An angel is good enough for me. Don't want to blaspheme against my Lady, after all!"
Salty gave them a curt nod and continued on his way, all the Bugsters except for Motors, Charlie, and Totema falling in line behind him. "By the way, since when are you our spokesperson?" Hatena asked.
"I have seniority," Salty insisted.
"Do you, though?" Alhambra pressed. "I'm pretty sure that my franchise has been around for much longer than yours."
"And I'm the only one here with a military ranking," Revol added.
"Yes, and your game was stuck in development hell for years, so shut up," Salty snapped.
Totema bowed gratefully to Emu. "Um… Thank you again for helping me be who I have always felt like I really was, deep down. And you and Poppy make a cute couple!"
Blushing, she ran off after the other Bugsters.
"Wow. Who knew she was such a sweetie?" Parad remarked. He frowned. "And speaking of, I wonder where my sweetie is…"
"Parad! Over here!" Escape yelled, waving at him as she and Enter approached.
"Hey, Escape! How did your fight go?" Parad asked, face lighting up at the side of his fiancée whom he'd only met a short while ago.
"We got saved by Mothra! She is our mama now," Escape declared.
"I'm pretty sure she has to actually agree to be our mother before you can say that," Enter pointed out.
"Oh, hush! I'm sure she'll say yes," Escape said dismissively. She frowned. "It's convincing Godzilla to be our new Papa that's going to be the tricky part…"
Parad's jaw dropped. "No. WAY. Godzilla and Mothra are going to be my in-laws?!" He squealed. "And here I thought getting adopted by Shigeru Miyamoto was going to be the greatest thing that ever happened to me!"
"It is pretty cool," Emu agreed.
Poppy gasped. "Mothra is so pretty! She'll make a great mom!"
"Still not totally on board with the marrying my sister thing!" Enter snapped.
"That is so unfair!" Nico whined. "I want to have Miyamoto, Godzilla, and Mothra for in-laws!" She perked up, a thought occurring to her. "Say, Parad, I don't suppose you or Escape-"
"Not into humans," Parad interrupted quickly.
Nico immediately turned to Emu and Poppy. "Emu, Poppy-"
"No!" Poppy declared, wrapping herself around Emu. "He's mine! No touching!"
Emu shrugged apologetically. "Sorry, Nico. You heard the lady." He grinned. "And besides, I wouldn't DREAM of stealing you away from Taiga. It's against the bro code."
"Darn it," Nico hissed.
"Wait, we're not… Nico and I… We… We aren't…" Taiga spluttered unintelligibly as Jiro and Kiriya laughed and laughed and laughed.
Out of the corner of his eye, Emu suddenly saw his future self, who had not yet been returned to his own time on account of the authorities still cleaning up the mess from the time war. The older Emu nodded. Emu, understanding at once, nodded back.
He glanced down at the beautiful haired sentient virus clutching him. "On that note, Poppy… I think I saw Haruto earlier. Do you want to go look for him? I think he might have something for us…"
…
CONTINUE…?
…
Fruit Jesus Kazuraba. THAT was a pain and a half.
I am so, so sorry for all this. Again. I hope you enjoyed this absurdly overlong chapter and haven't been driven off like… Pretty much all the other readers.
This story has been an abject lesson to me about something I really, REALLY should have learned by now. I have the rather unfortunate habit of letting my imagination get away with me and cram every idea I think is good at the time into whatever I'm writing, leaving me with an absurdly bloated mess of convoluted plotlines that I have to struggle to keep straight, most of which should never have been introduced in the first place or ended a LONG time ago.
The story should've ended last year, if not before that, but no, I just had to keep piling on piece after piece after piece, and…
Well. With any luck, I will actually remember this lesson in my future stories.
In any event, the next chapter, barring maybe an epilogue or two, will be the absolutely final piece of this story. Thank you for bearing with me this long, and I'm very sorry it's taken so long. We're almost there.
See you next time!
