Chapter 38: Truce

Clay sighs loudly, slumping down in one of the hospital corridor chairs. He rubs his head and frowns as Alex watches over him.

"You look tired"

Clay looks up, he stares a simmering anger is bubbling under the surface of his skin and he feels like the only way he can control it is to say nothing. So he just sits silent and nods.

"Did, Harry pick you up okay? I know what he can be like for time keeping." Alex smiles as he tries again to engage him in conversation. Still Clay ignore him and doesn't reply "You um... you got someone where to stay, while you're here I mean?"

Clay sighs loudly, he's annoyed by this constant questioning but this time, reluctantly, he answers "I'll be fine right here. I'm not going anywhere"

"Oh Clay, come on, you can't just stay here. You're going to need to put your head down at some point. Look, even if she's okay ... what I mean is .. whatever happens, she's gonna be in here for quite a while. You can't just stay in the corridor"

"Um... what part of, I'll be okay right here, don't you understand?" Clay stands up from his seat staring him in the face "Do you understand anything I say? Do you actually take any notice. Like when I said stay away from her!"

"Clay... nothing was going on with us, no matter what you might think. Kelsey made it perfectly clear to me, herself. That nothing was going to happen."

"And when did she do that? Exactly when? Was that in the car, in the bed or after you slept with her. When? When did she tell you to back off"

"Clay, c'mon ... you know that didn't happen. Look, if you must know, the last time she came back to see her commander. I spoke to her then. She was clearing her things from her flat. I went to see her and... well she made it perfectly clear that she was with you. That's where she wanted to be, and I respected that."

"Jesus! She saw you. She told me .. she told me she wouldn't see you again!" he sighs loudly grinding his teeth so that he doesn't lash out. Fuck!

"Clay look, it was my fault, I just turned up. I wanted to see if she was alright and put things right from before. I promise you, she couldn't have made it clearer. I either sucked it up or we couldn't be friends. I can't lose her forever so... you win. "

"What you tried it on? Oh yeah I bet you did. You did didn't you?" he shoves Alex in the chest making him grimace with pain from his ribs

"Yeah...yeah maybe I did. But then like I said, she made clear that it was a no go!" He takes a breath as he sits down in one of the seats on the opposite side of the corridor. They hardly look at each other as Clay also sits himself back down.

Alex lets out a long sigh "Look, they're... they're letting me go home later today. They can't do anything with my knee yet, some of the swelling needs to go down first. So, why don't I bring the keys to Kelsey... my flat, back with me. I haven't cleared it out yet and most of the furniture is still as it was. You can use it for as long as you're here. Sleep, shower whatever, it's only a thirty-minute drive and it only ten minutes from my house, if you need anything"

"And... I told you... I will be fine here!"

"God, you know you're so stubborn. Clay, take the offer and do yourself a favour, you look like shit as it is. The hospital are not going to let you stay here. "

"Yeah, well a spin up and two flights in two-days will do that to ya!"

"Yeah it will so ... take the keys and get your head down for a few hours. Oh ... look, I'll bring them back then and it's up to you"

"What? No, you don't need to come back here. She doesn't need you now. You did the damage already. Now you need to stay away. You caused this"

"I did the damage? I caused this?! What the hell! What, you're saying this is my fault?" what he's saying is nonsensical and Alex can't help but laugh at his absurdity.

"Yeah damn right I'm blaming you. If you hadn't picked her up, she'd have gotten the train and this...this wouldn't have happened"

"Oh my god!" Alex laughs out loud "Fuck you Clay! That's your logic?" he frowns "Nothing that she was in such a hurry to get home, that she ..." he takes a deep breath wondering why he's getting into this argument with him "Clay this it was an accident, just an accident. Oh but no but you just want to blame me." he sighs , shaking his head and taking himself out of it "Fine! ... Fine, I'll take it, you're upset I get it. But if you think I'm staying away from here, then you can think again!"

"I told you, we don't need you here"

"Yeah well I need to be here. So, I'm sorry, but you're stuck with me, whether you like it or not."

Clay takes a deep breath, ready to say something in return but just before the words come out the door to the room opens and flanked by a nurse, the doctor comes out. She looks down at her clipboard "Alex... Alex Jones?" he frowns looking at the two of them.

"Um yeah.. " Alex pushes himself up, grimacing with the pain in his knee "... that's me."

"Uh... you 're with Kelsey Roberts, is that right?"

"err..." he now hesitates as he awkwardly look over at Clay "kind of, I mean, I was in the accident with her, I'm her friend. But this, he um... he's her partner. He's just flown in from the states"

"Yeah... Clay Spenser" Clay leaps from his seat "We live together, in the US. We also have a baby, thought he's still there. Someones taking care of him " Clay's panicked and waffling as he speaks

"Okay well ... I'm just going by the form I have. Alex, he's registered as emergency contact, is that not correct?"

"Yeah I err..." Alex's eyes dart over towards Clay. He rubs his head, he's so tired and he sighs " I filled in the forms, when we arrived. I didn't know when Clay was going to be able to get back. We're both military and it's ... it's difficult"

"Oh, okay. So, it's fine to talk with both of you?"

"Yeah." Alex nods, he looks up looking for permission.

Clay's thinking over the request, wondering about shutting Alex out but then too tired to even try and argue he agrees. "Yeah sure, it's fine by me!"

"Okay, well there's not much change in her condition, but she is responding to some of the tests. So, we're taking that as a cautious, positive sign. We're gonna leave her on the ventilator, for the time being. It's more precautionary, to let her body rest and recover. Obviously we'll keep monitoring the situation, but we've decided against the surgery, on her leg, for now. See how she improves in the next couple of days. Thankfully the fracture on her pelvis doesn't seem to be as bad as we feared. Do you um... do you have any more questions for me before I go?"

"No.." Alex shakes his head " but thanks"

Clay takes a moment, he frowns looking up from where he's sitting "Tell me, is she gonna be alright, I mean is she gonna recover?"

"I..I can't answer that right now. Like I said, the tests are positive and we're doing all we can. We just need to give it a few days"

"But how long's she gonna be here, I mean we have a baby she..."

"Clay, I know you're worried, but really, I have no idea at this time. I'm sorry"

"Oh god!" he gasps taking a breath, rubbing his hand over his tired face. He closes his eyes taking a moment to clear his mind trying hard not to cry in front of the doctor, or Alex.

"Clay, just sit. Take a minute" Alex frowns watching him, he turns looking at the doctor "He's been on operations for a couple of days. He's tired, he'll be fine. Thanks for the update. Can we see her now?"

"I understand, it's a hard time for everyone " The doctor smiles and looks at the nurse "I don't see why not, but just for few minutes. Oh, and please, patients like this, they can still hear you so ... just try and stay positive when you talk. I'll check back later. Any questions speak to the nurse. Other than that, I think you both should get some rest when you can."

"Thanks. We will"

Clay and Alex exchange glances and Alex gestures for Clay to enter the room first. As he passes through the doorway he takes a sudden and deep gasp of breath.

Kelsey's laid out in the bed, covered only by a thin white sheet Jesus! He's shocked by the tubes coming out from her body. Monitors flashing and bleeping. While she lays there, eyes tight shut. She looks just like she's sleeping and Clay half hopes she'll suddenly wake up.

Fuck! A sudden surge of adrenaline makes him feel faint his legs wobble from the rush of fear pumping around his body making his heartbeat faster. Kelsey!

"You okay?" Alex frowns as he comes around the other side of the bed, using the guard rail to steady himself. Seeing her is not the same shock as it is for Clay. He's seen it many times as a medic and he saw her earlier when they first brought her in, when she looked so much worse. "Certainly hits you, right?"

"God! You know I didn't think it would be this bad" he gasps again feeling like someone punched him hard in the gut. He stands at her bed side and his eyes slowly work their way over her body. Taking a long look at all the things going on with her. Her arm in plaster, her face so bruised, all the sounds, tubes and wires. "Oh shit!" he gently strokes her cheek as he looks up at Alex "Is she gonna make it? She looks awful."

"Clay... Clay listen to me. You just have to be positive alright. They're doing everything they possibly can"

"But look at her...just look at her! She's so... bruised and broken. Oh god this .." he rubs his head, taking a breath he can't take it in, and he turns away. Walking back to the doorway, stepping into the corridor for a second just to get some air. Pheww! He suddenly feels nauseous

"Clay! Clay come talk to her. Tell her you're here"

"Talk to her? What?.." he laughs "You really think she can hear me, when she's like this? Did you look at her Alex?"

"I am ...Clay, it's still Kelsey. So just talk to her. You need to pull yourself together. You need to be strong for her now. Stop this pity party. It's not all about you alright. We need to keep it together right now"

Clay's angry at first. How dare he speak to me like that, tell me what to do! But then as the words sink in he nods. Standing back at the bed side he puts his head down, gently taking her fingers in his hand, stroking his thumb over her skin. She's so warm to the touch and actually looks really peacefully laying there asleep. Then sighing loudly, he kisses her forehead.

"Kelsey, I'm here! Please...please just wake up. We need you" he sniffs as tears fill his eyes and the one's escaping trickle slowly down his cheek "Oh god! How the hell did this happen!?"

He takes a breath calming himself "Um... Casey's missing you. He's been a little monkey lately; he loves his swimming, you really need to see him in the water. You need to hear him laugh, he's so funny now. Oh um... wait.. wait I um.. I recorded him. Stay there .." He closes his eyes to the stupidity of that statement as he takes his phone from his pocket "You'll laugh, when you hear him"

Clay finds one of the many video clips he has on his cell phone the one he took recently when Casey was in his crib, Clay tickling him and the baby giggles he makes. He places the phone beside her ear and hits play. The video bursts to life and even Alex smiles as the room fills with the happy sounds of the baby laughing.

"Did you hear him?" he smiles playing it again "He sounds like you when you laugh. Kelsey... please, please wake up. We can't be without you"

"Clay..." Alex takes a breath, he too is welling up with emotions as he watches Clay, the video and his own pains and tiredness. He smiles, moving to stand beside her head, gently brushing her hair back. "You know, this was quite an extreme way to get us two talking" he smiles, as tears roll down his cheek "We're gonna be here for you, okay? Both of us. We'll wait as long as it takes for you to wake up. But you need to get yourself better and soon Lieutenant because that baby needs you." Alex sniffs "and I need my best friend back"

He looks up, to find Clay staring at him nodding a silent truce between them. Their hatred put to one side for her "Yeah he's right. We're both gonna be here. We're gonna get you through this and we're gonna get you home, to your baby."

They both turn as the door clicks, it opens and the nurse from earlier stands in the doorway "I'm sorry gentlemen, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave now. We need to clean her up and change some medications"

"No, please can I stay a while longer. I only just got here and ..." Clay begs "I've only just..."

He stops speaking as the nurse places her hand calmly on his arm "Why don't you go and get some coffee, something to eat. Come back this afternoon. Then you can stay a little longer, but I really am going to have to ask you to leave now."

"Oh god" Clay reluctantly nods "I'm not going anywhere, I ll wait outside in the corridor"

The nurse takes a breath, she looks over at Alex, all he can do is smile at her "Clay... come on, we'll share a taxi. I'll get the keys and show you the flat, you can shower, get a couple of hours sleep and then we'll come back this afternoon, like she says"

"But I wanna be here, in case anything happens. I can't leave"

"Clay...we're only half an hour away, they've got our contacts and they'll call us. The doctor said she was doing fine, right? So please, come on. Clay you get some sleep for a few hours otherwise you're going to be no use to her later"

"Okay..." Looking up at both of them Clay finally relents, even though he doesn't want to. "Alright, but I'm not gonna be gone long" he kisses Kelsey's cheek "I won't leave you I promise" He looks up at the nurse "You will call me if anything happens, right?"

"We'll call you straight away, but she's going to be fine for now. So just do as your friend says and go take a break"

Clay nods, he hesitates. It hurts to leave her. The pain in his chest aching "Okay lets go. But just a shower and then I'll come back"

Alex smiles and nods "Yeah sure"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Alex unlocks the door to his flat and ushers Clay inside. Balancing on the crutch he's using he hobbles, following behind him. The look on his face is grimacing with the pain in his knee.

Clay frowns watching him "You okay?"

"Um... yeah! Yeah, I'm good. Just the painkillers are wearing off now. I'll take some more later." He smiles as the peace between them continues and he lays the keys down on the table "I'll leave those there for you. You can come and go as you please. There's a couple of takeaway menus in the kitchen, if you wanna order a pizza. I think you'll find we don't have quite a much choice as you do in the US" he smiles

Clay nods. "Thanks. I think I may take a shower first. I still stink from that transport plane"

"Yeah err… there might a few of Kelsey's toiletries in there still. I think some soap and that, that she didn't take. I could get you some stuff from home later, if you wanted me to?"

"Yeah thanks… that would be good, I did bring a few things but.. in the rush you know"

Clay sighs looking around. It's a large apartment and decorated in a very neutral but modern way. There certainly plenty of room "Feels odd, you know, being here where she used to live, before me I mean. Her old life I guess"

"Yeah um... certainly feels odd coming here without her being here. I lived here for a while, before I got married then um.. my grandmother she died. Left me her house. It's a much bigger place so moved in there, kept this and let Kelsey have it. I just haven't bothered moving her stuff out yet. Probably a good job really, given the circumstances"

"It's a really nice place" Clay wanders around looking down the hallway that leads to the bedrooms and bathroom.

"Please, feel free to take a look around. The um… the nursery, it's still set up in there" he smiles gesturing to the end of the hall.

Clay opens the door and takes a deep breath. The sight of the beautifully decorated nursery shocks him "Oh god!" he gasps "This is lovely. I mean she made this so nice"

"Yeah" Alex smiles as he remembers back to decorating it "Did she tell you that she changed the colour three times? Oh, don't ask. Second time I said I wasn't going to do but …then she started it herself, so I kinda had to. Couldn't let a seven months pregnant woman paint but you know her…" he laughs "She wanted it changed and so it had to be changed"

Clay's head drops and he sighs "This is what she deserved. Casey deserved this but I couldn't give her it" he touches the crib "I wish I … I should have made things better for her.. I should have…"

"Hey .. stop that. You will make things better for her. All this...it's just stuff. Clay you know Kelsey doesn't care about a nursery; she didn't care what you could give her. Sure, she probably didn't wanna give birth in a bar toilet … " he laughs "But why do you think she got on that plane when she did. She did it because no matter how much she told herself she didn't, how she tried to put you out of her head. She couldn't. I was stupid, I thought I could fill that myself all this and me could replace what she felt for you, but... the minute I was away she was gone."

He sighs watching as Clay strokes his hand along the side of the crib "She loves you Clay. That's unfortunate for me but I gotta get used to it. I had my chance and I screwed up. Clay, just make sure you don't. Be there for her"

"Yeah… I will. I never gonna hurt her" Clay looks around staring at him. He smiles "I guess we're both lucky right? To have her in our lives. Look, I know what I've said about you and no...I'm still pissed about what you did, and this doesn't' mean I like you. But…I do know you mean a lot to Kelsey, so um... I guess we could try to get on, for her sake?"

Mmmm hmm! "Yeah that would be good. I don't wanna fight with you. I think she's gonna need both of us right now. So… truce?" Alex puts his hand out and after a moment's hesitation Clay puts his out and they shake.

"Well like I said, I don't think we're gonna be best buddies or anything, and Sonny might take some workin' on, but I guess we can let the past lie".

"Yeah… "Alex nods "yeah sound good to me. Look you take a shower; I'll order us some pizza. Then you can get your head down for a while before we head back to the hospital"

"Yeah…" Clay picks up the small Teddy bear from the crib "I um… might just check in back home first. See how Casey is"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Clay sniffs opening his eyes rubbing the sleep from his face. Alex places a plastic cup filled with brown liquid beside him.

"I thought you were going back to the flat? Did you spend another night here in that chair?" he frowns concerned by Clay's appearance.

Mmmm! "Yeah I didn't wanna leave her, just in case she wakes up"

"Clay.. you've been here like this most of the week. You need to go home and get some proper sleep. She's not going to wake up until they take her off some of this medication"

"I'm fine! Seriously Alex, I'm good" He's stretches his arms upwards as he gets up from the chair, he's beard and hair's a scruffy mess and he's still wearing the same clothes from yesterday "How did you get on with your X-ray?"

"Yeah…I'm just gonna need to rest it. They said it's got a lot of fluid retention and they might need to drain it" He frowns pulling a face "It's still really painful, but at least my shoulder's starting to feel better, makes the crutches easier to use" he smiles "Look, why don't I take over and you go back get your head down, and shower! Kelsey's not gonna want you near her soon, when you smell like that." he laughs at Clay's scruffy appearance

"No!" Clay snaps, the tiredness from sleeping in a chair for a week is starting to take its toll on his temper "I said, I'm good" he sighs realizing that he's got an attitude and he needs to calm down "I may just go get some fresh air, take a stroll outside. Get a better coffee somewhere" He laughs

"Clay, you really…. you need…"

"Alex stop alright!" He cuts off the conversation "I told you, I'm staying right here. So, don't say another word about me leaving"

"Okay, okay. I understand. I do." He sips from the coffee and frowns at the disgusting lukewarm taste in his mouth "So, did they say how she's doing?"

"No change!" Clay rubs his face "That's all they keep saying. No change yet. They keep coming and doing things but... no change. They're not telling me anything. Just wait and see, but how long are we going to have to wait and see, Alex? I mean how long can she stay like this?"

"I don't know. Look, they know what they're doing. It will be for the best. We just have to wait. Oh um... yeah, I meant to say, her commander, he's possibly going to come down and see her at some point later today. See if there's anything they can do for her. Anything you need" he shrugs frowning as Clay looks at him questioning "Yeah, I don't know what they can do either but … it's the Navy and I guess they just wanna show they're thinking of her."

"Yeah right" Clay sighs loudly as he stands up. He stretches again and as he does he turns looking at the door which now opens. Two doctors walk in together. Clay looks up at Alex. He's concerned.

The first doctor, the one that's been dealing with Kelsey most of the week, she smiles apprehensively at the pair of them "Clay.. Alex" she knows them on first name terms now, well both of them have virtually been camped in the room everyday " I'm um... gonna have to ask you to wait outside please"

"What? Why?" Clay frowns apprehensively concerned "Hold on, what's going on? Why do you want us to wait outside? ... tell me what's happened"

"Just calm down alright. Myself and Dr Kinelly, the head injury consultant I told you about, we've been discussing Kelsey's case this morning and we've decided we're going to remove the ventilator. We want to give her a chance, to see if she can breathe on her own."

"Wait…. what you think she can? You think she's going to be alright?"

"Woah! Let's not get ahead of ourselves. We just need to assess where she's at. She's been here a week and there's been no deterioration. So, we um.. we think it's time to take a next step in her treatment. So, please if you could just wait outside we'll try and make it as quick as possible"

The nurse holds the door open.

Alex frowns he has a serious and apprehensive look on his face. He looks up at the doctors "Come on Clay, we'll wait in the corridor"

"No what… " Clay gets an anxious feeling, like someone's not telling him something "Why do we have to wait outside; we can wait here we won't get in the way. We can handle it."

"No, I'm sorry please, it's for the 'll let you know as soon as we have more information"

Alex pushes Clay on the back, guiding him out into the corridor "Just do as they say."

"What's going on Alex? Why do they all have concerned looks. Something's not right with this"

"Clay calm down alright, it's not a pleasant thing to watch while they remove the tubes and that. Trust me it's better for us out here. Just let them do their jobs"

"Okay.. alright... so, is this good?" Clay frowns even more anxious now "Taking her off that. That's a good thing? Alex that's a good thing, right?"

"Yeah... maybe!"

"Yeah, maybe? What the fuck does that mean? Is it good or not? Come on Alex you're a medic tell me, it that good? That doctor, she said she hadn't deteriorated. So…"

"No, she hasn't deteriorated but …but she didn't say she'd improved either"

"Okay so ... so what? What does that mean!? Alex, tell me. Tell me it's a good thing they're doing. If not we have to stop them, right now"

"No Clay! No, we need to let them do their jobs. If she breaths, on her own. Then it's good thing"

"Okay…and if she doesn't?" Clay frowns watching as Alex nervously bites his lip, he's silent. "Alex, what if she doesn't breath?"

"Then they ll put her back on it, and think of something else"

"But .. if she doesn't, does that mean she won't pull through?"

"I don't know… " Alex closes his eyes and sits down " Possibly not. Clay let's not think like that" he wipes his face "I need to get a coffee and I need some air. You want one?"

"No! No, I don't want a fuckin' coffee! I just want her to wake up. Oh god!" Clay starts to cry "C'mon Kelsey. Just breath, please… please breath!"

Alex starts to cry too, and he gets up and walks away. Clay losing it is unbearable to watch especially as he knows what he didn't tell Clay. That if she can't breathe on her own, then the prospects for recovery, are not good.