Chapter Thirty-Eight - Another Blow

Mikaela and Tony sit on top of the roof for a few hours, waiting for Rocket's ship to return. He tells her about space and a magician called Doctor Strange and the Guardians and what happened in their fight, and she tells him about Rocket and what little she knows about Groot and the fight in Wakanda.

"I'm not at all bitter that you were the first of us to see that place," he sniffs, staring up at the sky.

"You wouldn't like it," Mikaela jokes, shrugging her shoulders.

"You're right - a technologically-advanced, superior city that has hidden itself from the world and exists in secret definitely wouldn't be up my alley."

"I'm glad I could tell you before you wasted time going over."

"So, you used the suit?" he asks, almost cautiously.

"I used a suit," she smirks at him. "When you said you had rigged something up for me, I wasn't expecting there to have been a bloody exhibition of them."

He shrugs and pouts thoughtfully. "There were issues in the earlier models, and I figured you could do with some choice, some variety. God knows nobody can predict what kind of trouble you'll find yourself in next."

Mikaela laughs quietly. She is hyper-aware of the underlying tension in their waiting for their friends to return, in finding out if they'll get everyone back.

"You'll like baldy," Tony quips.

Mikaela looks at him. "You mean Nebula?"

He waves a dismissive hand. "We spent a lot of time together on the ship. I got her out of her shell a little by the time blondie turned up."

"Are you going to keep reducing women to their hairstyles?"

"Do you see me calling you messy?" he deadpans.

Mikaela scowls and tosses a pebble from the roof at him. He flinches and slaps it away from himself, his face indignant.

"How dare you disrespect your guardian like that, you little twerp," he snaps, scuffing his foot on the roof to kick some pebbles at her.

Her amusement only lasts so long before she remembers the situation they're in and the people they've lost. "Do you think they could really bring everyone back?" she asks quietly.

Tony's mood had mirrored hers as he watched her face. He sighs, looking tired again, and rubs the back of his head. "I don't know," he mutters. "I wanna believe they can, but.. That guy was more powerful than my worst-case-scenario plan. He scared the shit outta me."

Mikaela closes her eyes, remembering the fear that overwhelmed her at the sight of him. "So, when he came to fight us, he came straight from fighting you guys," she says, opening her eyes again, shaking her head. "He had just stabbed you. You and Pete had been holding his gauntlet, trying to pull it off. You might have been right on the other side of that portal."

"Yeah," Tony laughs humourlessly. "Nifty things, those portals."

Mikaela groans. "I wish we'd all been together. Maybe then we would have had a chance."

"So why aren't you up there now?" he frowns, gesturing his chin at the sky.

Mikaela looks at him. "I just got you back, Tony. We'd only just reunited. I wasn't going to make the same mistake twice."

He stretches his foot out to nudge hers and gives her a sad look. "Thank you," he says.

Suddenly, there is a noise that has them looking skyward. Mikaela stands up, eyes finding Rocket's ship. "Oh, shit," she breathes, feeling a weight lift off of her shoulders, tension seeping out of her body, and a hope that she can't contain.

"C'mon, Ghostie," Tony says, touching her arm as he turns towards the door off the roof.

They travel as fast as they can with Tony's condition - Mikaela refusing to go on ahead despite his insistence - and make it out onto the grass when the ship touches down. Mikaela watches the ramp lower, and Thor is the first one down, stomping down the ramp and onto the grass. His face isn't slack and miserable like it has been for the past few weeks; it is hard and unrelenting, pure anger and loathing. Mikaela's heart clenches at the sight.

"His axe," Tony says quietly.

Mikaela looks. It has blood on it. Alien blood.

The rest of the group descend the ramp, none of their expressions easing her concern. Rhodes, Steve, and Bruce head over to Mikaela and Tony, solemn and broken.

"Well?" Tony asks.

"He used the Stones to destroy them," Bruce intones. "We couldn't do anything if we wanted."

Mikaela lowers to her haunches, her hands coming up to hold her face. She closes her eyes, feels them sting with fresh tears.

"And him?" Tony says, voice tense.

"Thor cut off his head," Steve replies.

Mikaela tries to breathe slowly.

Thanos is dead.

The Stones are gone.

How can they possibly come up with a way to bring everyone back now?

What about Peter?

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mikaela accepts the glass given to her by Rocket, not even bothered that the liquid it holds is a vivid blue and smells like chocolate.

"It's alcohol," he grunts, jumping up onto the seat next to her. Nebula sits on his other side, head down, eyes distant.

Mikaela takes a sip, the taste completely unfamiliar and not at all what she was expecting. She winces, swallowing it quickly and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

People are dotted throughout the room, sitting on stools or couches or the floor. Everyone has a glass, though, and everyone looks miserable.

"How do you feel, Nebula?" Steve asks from across the room. It sounds like he's just looking for something to talk about, but his face shows genuine care.

"I've wanted to kill my father for a while now," Nebula replies, lifting her gaze to him. "I just wish I had struck the final blow." Some of the people in the room shift uncomfortably at the thought. "And that Gamora could enjoy the freedom with me," Nebula adds quietly.

Rocket's head dips, staring into the glass he cradles in his lap. "Man," he mutters.

"Does anyone know where to go from here?" Bruce asks, frowning as if in pain.

Carol sits up straight in her seat, looking around at them all. "There are a lot of people in the universe who might have no idea what just happened. They deserve to know where half their planets have gone, and they might need help recovering."

"So, you're gonna up and leave?" Rhodes asks, frowning. "I thought this was your home planet? Don't you wanna help us here?"

Carol stares at him. "I thought I made it clear that the majority of planets out there don't have the luxury of superheroes?" she retorts. "When bad people come to their gates, no one comes to their rescue. No one saves the day. They just suffer, and there's nothing they can do about it."

"She's right," Steve says, looking at Rhodes. "We can handle Earth. Those people deserve an explanation and some guidance."

"I suppose we should get back out there and make sure nobody takes advantage of the situation and starts murderin' and stealin'," Rocket sighs. "Or, Nebula, maybe we could partake, if you were so inclined?" he smirks.

Nebula almost allows a smile. Her fingers tap at her glass. "Gamora would want us to help," she says.

Rocket sighs. "You just had to ruin the fun, didn't you?"

"What are we gonna do with Thor?" Natasha asks solemnly, looking at Steve. Thor had taken himself away to mope somewhere when everyone came back into the building.

"He can come with us, if he wants," Rocket shrugs. "We had fun, and it's useful having a freakin' Asgardian with you up there."

"When Thanos attacked his ship, do you think he only killed half the Asgardians on it? Maybe some might have gotten away?" Mikaela suggests.

"It's possible," Nebula replies.

"Yeah, we could keep an eye or two out for distress calls, yada-yada," Rocket says.

"Maybe if he's up there, searching, he'll feel productive and useful again? Take his mind off of-" Mikaela suggests.

"Ruining our chances of turning things back?" Rocket supplies dryly.

"Okay, what about us?" Bruce asks, looking at Tony and Natasha and Steve. He seems impatient, lost.

Mikaela looks at Tony, curious for his opinion. She watches him take a swig of his drink, glance at it with disgust, and tap a hand on his leg.

"I'm done," he says nonchalantly.

Everyone stares at him.

"What? I am," he goes on, shrugging. "I did my bit, I lost, I wasn't good enough, and now there's nothing we can do to redeem that." He exhales loudly, as if in relief. "Wow. Yeah. I'm gonna marry Pepper, gonna build her a farm somewhere outta the city. I wanna make a family, a life, a real life, and not feel responsible for the fate of the goddamn world anymore. I wanna sit down and breathe and be happy and content. I'm done."

It goes quiet for a long time. Bruce gives Tony a sad smile, Steve nods and looks down, and Natasha's eyes grow watery. Mikaela feels the same relief Tony does - he deserves to take a step back and enjoy life, he deserves to retire from this mess. She thinks it might even suit him, being domesticated like that.

"I'm happy for you, Tony, I really am," Natasha says into the silence. She looks away from him. "I don't think I'd know how to stop. I think I'll stay here, try and help the world. Whatever that looks like."

"Me too," Steve says, giving her a sad smile.

"Guess I'll go back to the military," Rhodes suggests. "Keep an ear to the ground."

"Bruce?" Natasha asks.

Bruce definitely looks lost. "I don't know," he says, his hands fidgeting. "I've got stuff to work out with the big guy."

"What about you, kid?" Rocket asks, nudging Mikaela's arm with his elbow.

Mikaela blinks. She'd known what was going on, but she hadn't expected to have needed an answer. Instinctively, she looks at Tony, and she can see it on his face as he stares back at her that she is more than welcome to go with him, to retire and relax and be a family with him.

How happy would she be, there, living with him and Pepper and whatever children they'd have? Would a domestic life suit her as well as it would suit Tony? Would she know how to live like a family?

She sighs to herself, and her expression droops. She would be happy living with Tony, she knows she would.

But she wouldn't be at peace. And, now, she can see it in his face that he knows that.

"The mutants need my help," she says. Tony nods and smiles. "I need to help protect those kids. The locals just hate them more and more as the days go on, and the bar was already pretty high on the loathing scale."

"Mutants?" Carol asks, frowning.

"It's what I am," Mikaela shrugs. "Humans who have mutated DNA that allows for power like technopathy, teleportation, elemental manipulation."

"Neat," she nods, smirking slightly. "People give you a hard time, though?"

Tony scoffs quietly. "Understatement," he says.

Mikaela shrugs bitterly. "Unlike the heroes they worship, we were born with these mutations. They think we're other, dissimilar from them, unnatural, abominations."

It's clear from Carol's face that she thinks those people are stupid - a relief, to Mikaela, as it is every time someone accepts mutants.

"How are you different from the rest of these guys?" Carol frowns.

"Mutants don't go around boasting that they're not 'real' humans," Mikaela replies, using air quotes. "We mostly exist in secret, without letting on that we're different, which makes them fear and distrust us, but we do it because they hate us and want to kill us, so," she shrugs, smiling tensely. "And then, of course, we have the Brotherhood - or, we did - run by a guy who calls himself Magneto, who believes that mutants should rule the world and humans are worse than shit on his shoe, so they don't really help matters."

"Mikaela's friends specialise in finding mutant kids who are in danger," Tony speaks up, elaborating to Carol. He sounds proud, and it makes Mikaela's heart swell. "They bring the kids in, protect them from shitheads who'd kill or experiment on them, and try coach them to control their mutations at the same time."

"As well as giving them an education and helping them become decent people, and trying to stop Magento from recruiting them," Mikaela adds, smiling at Tony. Then she remembers the lack of teachers at the school now. "But everything's gonna have to take a backseat now to the protection part - that has to be our priority when we don't have the adults to teach anymore."

"Mikaela, I hope you and your friends know that if you ever need help protecting the kids, all you have to do is call. We'll be there," Steve says sincerely. Natasha and Rhodey nod in agreement.

"Thank you," Mikaela says. The offer means a lot to her.

"We need to find a way for you Earthlings to contact us," Rocket comments. "You got the technology for long-distance communication, right?"

"Yes, we 'got' the technology," Tony replies, a hint of annoyance in his voice. "We just don't 'got' the range for interstellar travel."

Carol shrugs a shoulder. "Easy fix," she says.

"Yeah," Rocket agrees.

It's quiet for a moment, before Bruce speaks up again. "Should we have funerals?" he asks, voice hollow, eyes unfocused. "For the people.. For everyone?"

Mikaela's throat closes up. She feels like she just got slapped across the face by a brick. Everything comes rushing back at her. Denial flares and she wants to shout at Bruce for suggesting such a stupid idea, she wants to yell and scream and cry.

A funeral? For Peter? For Wade? For Xavier, Logan, Jean, Scott, and the countless other mutants they lost? For the Avengers they lost?

"No," she says, shaking her head. Her drink sloshes in the glass as she crosses her arms.

Tony's expression is almost too hard to look at. "Kid, you're gonna have to-" he tries.

The technology in the room flickers and Mikaela shakes her head again to try and steady herself. "Do what you want, but I'm not going to any fucking funeral," she snaps. The rest of her drink is downed in a second and the glass makes a loud noise when it hits the table in front of her. "It's not right. They're not fucking dead."

And she gets up and walks out of the room.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

It's getting dark outside. The air is cooling down and Mikaela is only wearing a t-shirt but, at this point, she couldn't give less of a shit.

Her friends are gone.

Part of her knows that.

But everyone is acting like it's final and there is nothing in this universe that can change it and it's just got to be wrong. It has to be wrong. They're the Avengers, and the Guardians of the Galaxy, and Carol, and there has to be something that can be done.

Maybe there's a mutant somewhere that she can find to change what happened? She knows it sounds crazy. She knows the chances are slim. But she's realising that she doesn't want to, or can't, give up on this thing. Her friends are gone, but it has to be temporary. They're not dead - they've just been misplaced in the universe, and someone needs to find them. Someone will. And Mikaela will be a part of that.

If everyone else has given up, the responsibility has fallen on her to make it right. She won't do what they've done. She won't do that to her friends.

Her phone's screen glares at her from her hands, displaying the last text messaging she'd had with Wade. Her cheeks are wet, but she keeps reading each message over and over again, hearing his voice in her head, seeing his face expressing the emotions.

She goes back into her list of messages. Peter's name is at the top. It almost always is. Her finger hovers over it, unsure if her heart can take it, and then she's opened the conversation and she's reading through it and her shoulders are shaking and then she's calling his phone and it doesn't dial but his answering machine message plays and she can barely breathe.

"Hey, you've reached Pete- well, you haven't actually reached me, because you're here, but you can leave a message if you want and I'll- no wait I'm not done!"

The phone falls out of her hands and she wraps her arms around herself, simultaneously comforted and broken by the sound of his voice. Her sobs are uncontrolled and painful, and she can't do anything to stop them now.

Then warm arms are wrapping around her, fingers gripping her tightly, and she leans into Tony's embrace, desperate to have him take the pain away, but she can feel him crying against her too, and she knows that there's nothing any of them can do to make it stop.