A/N: Heyo! A bit of a longer chapter (my longest to date, actually). Enjoy some Naruto/Sakura friendship!
Chapter 37: Lemon Balm For the Soul
A few days had gone by, and Sasuke had decided to spend as much of his time with Shien as he could.
His mother had reminded him that he was to be coronated on his birthday, and that it would be unwise to spend too much time with his personal servant once he ascended the throne (something-something-politics, something-something-rumors). He reluctantly agreed, although he was secretly happy that neither his mother nor father were pressing him too hard to get married beforehand to some random noblewoman that was no doubt only in it for the status and paygrade.
He'd been hinting to Shien that he wouldn't mind if they got married (for completely political matters, mind you), but unfortunately she kept reacting very strangely to those hints. She'd taken quickly to cleaning and helping the staff with the ballroom instead of hanging out with him or Naruto. It was almost like... she was avoiding him?
But no, she couldn't be avoiding him because of that, right? Sasuke really didn't see why she was being so weird about it. He knew they were at least good-ish friends at this point, and he didn't want to just cease contact with her once he was king. The next best plan was to get a quiet marriage so that they could continue to be friends! It didn't even need to be romantic... not that he'd have any problem with that, of course.
... or was he taking the wrong steps to rectify this?
... Nah, of course he wasn't. Kings did that kinda thing all the time. Surely it wasn't because he was secretly in love with her or anything. No, he definitely wasn't. He just felt like it would be a waste of a friendship if they both moved on to different things. He felt like it was a waste to have to discard her with as little emotion that his parents expected of him.
Meanwhile, Shien was internally freaking out.
Ever since the queen had taken Sasuke aside and told him about his coronation day, he'd been hinting to her that they should get married. As much as Sakura still loved him, she honestly couldn't tell at this point if he reciprocated those feelings towards Shien.
And with the guilt of the impending invasion day weighing more and more on her every passing day, she felt like she could either cry or start breaking things. Starting with that smug-ass Madara statue in the hallway, king and queen be damned.
She'd given him a customary "Might wanna wait a little, I need to think this through" response and quickly hid in her room, under her covers, but she knew that he was asking about her every time she locked herself away.
She couldn't hide away in her room forever. She still had her duties to attend to. But she just didn't feel like seeing the prince's face every morning anymore.
On the day in the garden, when they'd almost kissed, his feelings for Sakura had been crystal clear. It hardly mattered what he felt for Shien; she was irrelevant when it came to Sakura. She highly doubted he'd think so highly of her if she revealed who she truly was.
"He'd hate me," she mourned quietly to herself. "He'd be so shocked, and then he'd utterly loathe me for what I've done. Perhaps that dream is supposed to become a reality. Perhaps... perhaps we were never meant to come together again."
She knew she couldn't just avoid either of them until the invasion. One, it was massively unfair, and two, eventually they'd get suspicious and start digging.
So she sighed, crawled out of bed, and went out in search of Naruto. If there was one thing she'd come to know lately, it was that despite his apparent obliviousness, he could shell out some damn good advice.
At this point in the day, the late afternoon, he would most likely be in the gardens. So she headed down to the family's private garden, giving a polite nod to the guards stationed at the door.
As soon as she walked out into the warm afternoon sunshine, she spotted him at the far end, kneeling beside two stone somethings.
Oh.
Oh.
She grew more somber as she headed towards him, the twin graves becoming clearer as she walked. His posture was mostly relaxed, thankfully, so at least he didn't seem to be in a horrible mood.
As soon as she was a few feet away, he rose his head and turned to glance at her over his shoulder.
"Hey," he greeted with a soft smile as she came to stand beside him. "I didn't know you were looking for me."
"If the moment is too personal, I can leave," she trailed off. Sprigs of beautifully-painted pansies were blooming at the graves, the orange and white blooms waving in the gentle afternoon breeze.
"What? No no no no no, you don't have to go." He shook his head, gesturing to the stones. "I was just talking with my parents. It really helps, y'know? Helps clear away the guilt."
She nodded slowly. "Yes... I guess it would."
"Here, sit." He patted the grass beside himself. "I know you've probably never met them, but I know Mom would've loved you."
"I... have met them, once upon a time ago," she recalled with a soft look at the gravestones. "They came to our village to help protect us from the Snake. They were very good people."
Technically, she was telling the truth, she mused. She remembered fondly watching Kushina and Minato when she was a young child, but she very faintly recalled the skirmishes with Tsunade's old teammate Orochimaru.
"Huh. Small world after all." He chuckled, patting the grass around the freshly-picked wildflowers he'd placed there. "Anyway, what did you need?"
"Oh, right. My question." She licked her lips nervously. "Let's say hypothetically, you have to make a choice between two things. One would be to help your family by betraying a dear friend, and the other would be to betray your family for that closest friend. How would you go about choosing when all you'll end up doing is hurting the ones you love?"
He frowned, contemplating the question for a while.
Finally, he said, "Y'know, that's actually a really tough question. I mean, obviously my gut reaction would be to save my family, but then again, I wouldn't want to lose my best friend."
She nodded imploringly. "So what would you do, hypothetically?"
He hummed in thought. "Have you heard the story of how my parents died?"
"I've heard bits and pieces from Sasuke, only that they were killed at the Honsen Pass in a bridge explosion." She gave him a quizzical look.
"That's not the whole story." His face became stony when he recalled. "When I was eleven years old, my parents were chosen to supervise a squadron of soldiers going to meet an enemy's army at the village of Nagashuku. Word had been spread about this guy, Orochimaru, or as they know him now, the Snake, doing human experiments in the pursuit of immortality, and Sasuke's dad needed him stopped.
"To be honest, I really don't know why they were picked for the job." He let out a wry laugh. "Maybe they knew it was going to happen. Maybe Dad knew that they were walking into a trap. Whatever happened, they were ambushed on the old bridge in the pass.
"They fought for fifteen minutes before someone activated some hidden bombs on the bridge. Mom and Dad managed to shield some of the soldiers from the blow, but..." He began blinking back tears and his voice began to wobble as he spoke. "... by the time the dust cleared, almost everyone of that unit, plus Mom and Dad were dead. Hatake-san was one of the only survivors. The Snake's soldiers got away, and it was another month and a half before they finally destroyed his base, but he hasn't been found since."
"But... but Obito died in the explosion, didn't he?" She asked hesitantly.
"Yes." Naruto nodded, ripping up a few blades of grass and watching as a sudden breeze blew all but one away. The one that had stuck to his hand he brushed off. "But Dad..."
His voice cracked. He sniffled and tried again. "Dad gave his life to try and save him and Mom. If- if they just hadn't taken the brunt of the explosion, then maybe I could have at least him here."
Tears began dribbling down his face and he angrily wiped one away. "But he didn't. He died to protect someone who ended up making his death useless. And now everything's so fucked up, and- and I'll never see them again."
He looked over at her, and his heartbroken expression, plus the dribbling liquid down his face, made her heart twist. "I want my parents back, Shien. You don't know all of the things I'd do to bring them back to me. They didn't deserve to die like that."
"Believe me, I... I get it." She nodded slowly, placing a comforting hand on his back. "I would give anything, even my own life, for the chance of being a normal citizen. To end this war. To... to find my family."
"I would do anything," Naruto repeated, staring heatedly at his parents' gravestones. "At least... at least I have someone who gets it. Sasuke definitely knows that it feels like."
"To give up your soul just to take back your loved ones?" She wondered softly.
"Some may argue that I was so fortunate to have them around even a year, but... but we weren't even that special." He sighed heavily. "It's not like we were living with demons, or malicious spirits, or anything. Sure, my dad was a mighty warrior, but... other than his and Mom's military skills, we were just a regular family."
She nodded again. "And... if given the chance, would you seek out the one who did kill them?"
"With all of my heart," he answered immediately, a fierce look in his cerulean eyes. "Not out of revenge, surprisingly, but... just so that I can finally, finally quell my rage. It hurts, Shien. I don't want to hate anyone, but... I've kept this festering hatred inside me for nearly a decade. I can't eat nor sleep without thinking of the moment when I finally face off against their killer, what I'll say, what I'll do."
He chuckled morosely. "I've thought a lot about it. I've wanted to scream at them, to berate them until my breath gives out, and... then, perhaps I'd strike them down in one move, or cripple their limbs so that they can just lay there and listen to my speech. Sometimes I think about it and... and I shudder. When it comes to mind, it feels like someone else's voice instead of mine. It doesn't feel like my wish, yet I know it has tempted me."
He sighed heavily once more, resting a gentle hand on his mother's gravestone. "But... I know in my heart that this isn't what Mom or Dad would've wanted. I know they would've wanted me to make peace and move on. It's just... it's just so hard sometimes, you know? Sometimes it feels like I'd be dishonoring their name by forgiving and forgetting.
"But then I remember what Mom always used to say." He fondly continued, stroking the stone with his knuckles. "'If there ever comes a time when you look at someone and you just wish they'd drop dead, it's better to channel that hatred into a fierce, passionate will to love than to let it fester and consume you from the inside.' I used to hate that so much, but now... now I understand."
She'd stayed quiet all this time, but now she felt she had to speak up. "Naruto, I may not have known you for long, but I can tell you are a truly compassionate, wonderful person."
He blushed, looking away in slight embarrassment.
"And I know that no matter what you do, Minato and Kushina would have been so, so proud of you." Her emotions began to choke her, and she had to blink back her tears as she smiled at him. "I know they're smiling down upon you right now, imploring you not to give up the fight. Fight, yes, but win by your compassion. Seldom few battles are truly won by fists alone."
"Dad used to say that," he reminisced. "A true warrior helps his enemy stand again, but a fool strikes during their darkest hour."
"Tales of the two of them have spread to even my home," she said fondly. "No child has gone without hearing of the legendary Yellow Flash and Konoha's Red-Spirited Kitsune."
Naruto's trembling lips began to form the shape of a tiny smile at the nicknames. It was true, the children they visited always loved hearing stories of Konoha's most famous heroes, and Minato and Kushina were some of their favorites.
She lowered her hand so that he could squeeze it, and as she gazed at him for a few seconds, she recognized the spirited, happy little boy in orange in his eyes. He hadn't faded away, even though the years hadn't been kind to either of them. In Naruto's youthful teenage face she saw the echoes of a time long forgotten, of smiles and laughter and innocent joy.
They stared into each other's faces for a few long moments, caught up in the mutual grief the other felt. He felt her emotions as keenly as if they were his own, the sorrow and guilt of a haunted past puzzling him for a fleeting heartbeat.
Just as quickly as the moment came, it was broken by the two of them looking away, Shien letting go of his hand. His lingering warmth felt almost akin to that of a sunbeam.
"Sorry, I... I kind of got off on a tangent there," he shakily laughed, rubbing his eyes. "Did that answer your question, at least?"
She looked down at the gravestones, gently running her finger across the names engraved there.
A softer smile graced her face, and she quietly replied, "... yes. I believe it has. Thank you, Naruto."
Meanwhile, Jiraiya was stationed near a unit of soldiers, Kakashi's squadron to be precise.
He had taken up the mission both for his own peace of mind ('cause hey, he'd much rather be looking after Minato's kids than be there at the wrong time to bear the news of their deaths), and both to get a better grip on his newfound guilt for his godson.
Sure, he'd been away from the land for a few years to ease up the guilt of both hearing the news of his pupil's death and failing to convince his best friend to give up his research, but ever since Sakura had gone to the palace it had stirred up old dredges that he thought he'd lain to rest an age ago.
Shaking it out of his thoughts, he listened in to two soldiers talking by the trees.
"Sucks that we actually have to go out and find guilty family members," the first griped. "I mean, everyone knows that once your kid or your grandkid or your sibling goes off to join the rebels, it means you're all marked for death yourselves. Nobody's gonna stick around to see what happens."
"I know what you mean," the second agreed. "At least we can't do much with the bigger clans, but those smaller families are the ones that get'cha. I mean, take a look at the Uzumakis. Ever since the king's best friend died, their family just about disappeared out of the history books. Either that, or they changed their names and went into hiding along the smaller villages."
"Yeah." The first sighed heavily around his bottle of water. "Almost a shame that the known ones won't know what hit 'em. I mean, you get the news that your kid died, and suddenly the king wants you dead too? Talk about adding insult to injury."
"Who'd you say the first marked were? Asaji or something?" The second asked, raising a fine black eyebrow.
"Yeah, that's one of 'em." The first nodded firmly. "We looked at Haruno, but, well, y'know, there's really not much evidence that their daughter defected."
Jiraiya let out a silent breath, relieved.
"Well, that, and they've got a young son," he continued with a shrug. "He's gonna want to be a soldier when he grows up, right? Waste of a young life, it is."
"Like our job is all sunshine and rainbows as it is," the second shot back. "Tens of hundreds of us die by the week to those Akatsuki freaks, and don't even get me started on disobeying the king's direct orders. You'd wish you were dead by the time the White Lily was done with you."
"Ooh yeah, I've heard of her." The first snapped his fingers in recognition. "His chief executioner, the silent assassin that enters with the mist and leaves a trail of blood in her wake? As beautiful yet deadly as her namesake?"
"Enough with the poetic verse, yes, her." The second sighed harshly, rubbing his forehead. "Honestly, dude, maybe you should've been a poet instead of a soldier with all this mooning you do. If you weren't so eloquent I'da smacked you by now."
A chuckle, and Jiraiya found it the best time to slip away.
"What can I say?" The first one shrugged with a grin. "The ladies tend to think I'm quite the cunning linguist."
A/N: A dirty pun, but I do love me some dirty jokes. I also changed Kushina's 'habanero' nickname to something that seemed a bit more in this universe's style. That, and I really think a nickname having to do with foxes would have suited her much, much better, but hey, that's just me.
We're getting closer and closer to a chapter that I've been dying to release for a long, long time! I hope you enjoy it when it finally drops.
Please tell me what you thought, and I'll see you all next week!
