AN: First of all, Happy Easter, Passover, whatever holiday you celebrate this month, or if you don't have one, then happy Thursday!

(Cackles maniacally) Let's get this show on the road! Reviewer Replies!

Zeak106: Fret not, all will be revealed in this chapter. I've actually been building up to the reveal of where Jerry's from since the beginning of the story. He's going to lay out all the hints and explain the whole thing in the first part of this chapter though, so don't worry. Like I said, all will soon be clear. As always, delighted you enjoyed! Now just sit back and relax, this is the second longest chapter yet but hopefully it's a nice soothing...(cackles) I can't even pretend to type that with a straight face! THIS IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST WHAM EPISODES OF THE WHOLE STORY! (rolls around laughing my ass off)

Raidentensho: (cackles like a maniac) Ohohoho, you have DRASTICALLY underestimated how hard a hit they are about to take.

Boggie445: [answering your reviews for chapters 4, 15 and 17] Regarding Gruvia, no it just means that I'm not taking that particular relationship down the same unbearably annoying path as canon. I quite like Juvia, and Gray's constant rejection bs really grated on me. I like the explanation given in 100 Year Quest of him feeling like he's not good enough for her, but I say the same thing about Gruvia as Jerza: If you think you're not good enough for her and she disagrees then SHUT UP AND TRY TO PROVE HER RIGHT. Regarding Lucy's key collecting... (rolls around cackling like a maniac)

...

And now...

PREPARE THE "OOF!" CANNON!


...

CHAPTER 33: AFTERMATH

...


Erza turned slightly to look over her shoulder at me, "Oh by the way, what was that the giant snake called you? Sun King?"

I laughed lightly, "I guess that's as good a place to start as any. Yeah, I'm a descendant of the ancient pharaoh Ozymandias, better known in his time as the Sun King. He's one of the most famous of all the pharaohs and the most powerful. His magic is directly responsible for the way mine manifests."

"So you inherited his magic?"

"Not directly," I admitted, "It was dormant until a few years ago, and then promptly sealed away with my memories of it a few weeks after I'd gotten it."

"Why was it sealed? It's not going to go out of control is it?" Erza asked with a hint of worry in her voice.

I shook my head, "Nah, no danger. You remember that horrible mistake I made that I told you about?"

"What's that got to do with it?"

"Well I was incredibly depressed after that, so my parents took me on a trip halfway around the world to get my mind off it," I explained, "They hoped that going and seeing an entirely different country would distract me, and they figured Japan wouldn't have anything to remind me of what happened. We were going to spend two weeks touring the country, seeing everything we possibly could. I didn't really care, I couldn't have cared less about anything at that point. Then there was a mix up at the baggage claim…"

"You lost your luggage?" Erza asked, "I hate it when my suitcases get mislaid."

I tilted my head and grinned, "Hah. This had to have been the luckiest mix up in history! The bag I picked up and took with me belonged to an immensely powerful mage by the name of Tokiomi Tohsaka."

Erza started and turned to look at me, "I thought you said there wasn't any magic in your world!"

"Memory. BLOCK." I reminded her sharply, so many interruptions! "I'm getting there! Will ya let me tell the story?"

Erza settled back against me and grumbled, "'Kay fine, but Mira's gonna flip if you lied to her."

"Oh she's gonna flip alright," I mused, "Of all the things that I'd been made to forget, the existence of magic was probably the least impactful on my life." Erza actually whipped around and would've knocked me over if I hadn't been sitting cross legged, "Caaareful! Careful Erza! We don't need to jostle Mari and Lucy!"

"Oh…sorry." Erza got up and walked around to sit in front of me, "Better?"

I sighed, "Are you going to let me tell the story now?"

Erza frowned, "I thought you were telling the story?"

"Are you going to let me tell the story without so many interruptions?" I clarified before reddening slightly, "What's so funny?!" She was giggling at me and it was making it really hard to stay irritated because goddammit she was cute!

"I'm sorry," she laughed as my irritation finished evaporating, "You just reminded me of someone I used to know. He hated being interrupted too. I'm sorry, I'll be quiet." She folded her hands and smiled like she was going to behave and all I could do was just give her the look.

"You're totally not going to be able to keep that up for more than a few seconds are you?" I asked dryly. She just started sniggering and a pang of longing shot through me as I mused, "You're actually reminding me of somebody I love very dearly, so I'll let it slide."

Apparently, that caught Erza off guard enough to still her giggles and I continued the story, "Anyway, in the suitcase was a bunch of books and a glass case containing the fossil of the very first snake to ever shed its skin. I know it's the first because that's what the label said," I added hastily to forestall the question I saw forming on Erza's lips, "And in the books were details on a magical wish granting ritual, which is known as the Holy Grail War."

Erza gave me a look which conveyed every shred of her doubt, "Okay, now I know you're screwing with me."

"As much fun as screwing you would undoubtedly be, that is definitely not what I'm doing right now!" I snapped, "I couldn't make this up if I tried! The Holy Grail War was held every sixty years using a magical device ostensibly called the Holy Grail to charge up one spell with enough juice to do quite literally anything. It could end the world easily if misused, and in the over two centuries since its creation nobody had ever managed to activate the damn thing as it was meant to be used because the ritual to activate it is so damn hard."

Erza politely quieted down and asked, "So what's the ritual?"

I sighed, "The reason it's called the Holy Grail WAR is because the ritual is to have seven powerful mages summon the ghosts of seven legendary heroes. Each mage is the anchor for the hero they summon, and each pair fights to be the last ones standing. Once only a single pair is left, the Grail is able to manifest and can be activated to grant a wish. It wasn't originally supposed to be a wish granting device, it was supposed to unlock god like magic for the last mage standing, but the wish granting thing is what pulls everybody in."

"And this, Tokiomi Tohsaka, was one of the mages set to participate in the Holy Grail War?" Erza asked.

I nodded, "Yes, he had acquired the fossil of the first snake to ever shed its skin to summon the ghost of humanity's first and mightiest hero, King Gilgamesh of Uruk."

"But you got a hold of the fossil to summon him," Erza mused, "So you summoned him and entered the Holy Grail War?"

I nodded, "That's right. King Gilgamesh was an immensely powerful wizard, easily as powerful as Master Precht and probably a lot stronger. Thanks to his clairvoyance, he knew the entire situation as soon as he materialized back into the world. He knew why I had summoned him, who the other mages were, what spirits they summoned, and the real kicker, which was that the Grail had been corrupted in the previous war and would turn any wish made with it into the end of the world with the full power of two rituals to make it happen."

I laughed lightly, "His Majesty was having absolutely none of it. He set me straight in less than twenty minutes and set about preparing to put an end to the Holy Grail Wars once and for all. Thanks to his power, he was able to summon even more heroic spirits to aid us. The first one he called was the ghost of Shirou Amakusa Tosada, a Japanese saint. Because Amakusa-sensei was a Japanese spirit, he was much more powerful on Japanese soil, and he wasn't exactly a slouch to begin with. He was summoned into the unused Ruler space, a spirit meant to oversee the Holy Grail War and ensure that nothing messed with the Grail to do something like corrupt it so that it would destroy the entire world if activated."

"Ruler space?" Erza asked.

I nodded, "There were seven classes for the seven spirits to be summoned. King Gilgamesh was summoned into the Caster class, which is wizards like us, although I think you'd probably be a Saber given how much you dig swords. Anyway, the seven classes were Caster, Saber, Archer, Lancer, Rider, Assassin and Berserker, those were the ones supposed to fight for the Grail. There were two more though, Avenger and Ruler. Avengers were spirits so tormented by their lives that their entire existence was devoted to exacting vengeance upon who or whatever wronged them in life. What corrupted the Grail was an Avenger spirit whose grudge was against the entire world. Since Amakusa-sensei was a Ruler class, he was able to fix what that Avenger did with some help from King Gilgamesh."

"So, were you able to get your wish?" Erza asked.

I shook my head, "Like I said, King Gilgamesh set me straight. I didn't need my wish anymore in order to be happy again. He did the same thing for Amakusa-sensei, which is why Amakusa-sensei kept helping us even though he really wasn't supposed to. So anyway..."

"Just like that?" Erza demanded, "You gave up on your deepest most heartfelt wish just like that?! What was it?!"

My grin vanished as the memory kicked me in the face. I took a deep breath, "Simply put, I wanted to undo my mistake. King Gilgamesh produced a magic mirror which allowed one to look into another world, and he was able to show me a world where I never made my mistake. Where I got her out of the way and saved her, she was living happily with me and my family. It was everything I wanted my wish to be, but King Gilgamesh explained to me that in order for that world where she was alive and healthy and happy to exist, another had to exist where she wasn't because that's just how the multiverse works. Even if we won and I made my wish, the instant I did, another world would branch into existence where I didn't, or it didn't work, or something went horribly wrong. So put simply, I did make my wish, and at the same time I didn't. I am the me that bore the burden of not so the other me's could. Does that make sense Erza?"

Erza thought hard about it for a minute, and then exhaled, "So you let a different you make the wish by not making the wish? But does that mean you gave up on trying to save her?"

"It means I realized the wish was pointless and to use it like that would be selfish in the extreme," I explained a little heatedly, "I wanted to save her yes. I still want very badly to be part of a world where she's alive and happy, but to use such world shaking power on something so small would've been the same as damning everyone else in the world. I did make a wish, but that wasn't it. Be patient Erza, we'll get there."

Erza pouted at me but was quiet, so I continued, "After we fixed the Grail, His Majesty started summoning more spirits to aid us in the coming battles, specifically picking spirits he knew would be a good team and make for good match ups against our opponents. The first one he summoned was Queen Semiramis, an ancient sorceress queen known for poisoning the king who murdered her husband to force her to marry him. She was immensely intelligent and an extremely powerful sorceress, but because she was more famous for murdering the king, she was summoned as an Assassin instead of a Caster. She maintained every bit of her magical power though, so she was kind of a hybrid. His Majesty summoned her for her ability to summon the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, a massive flying fortress armed to the teeth and able to spawn an army of powerful skeletal warriors as needed along with several other nifty features. Even now I'm not entirely sure what all it could do, but I know she was borderline invincible in there."

"She sounds…frightening," Erza declared.

I smiled, "She could be, but once she warmed up to you, she was actually very kind. She wound up being the Team Mom, especially once she made friendly with Mo-chan."

"Mo-chan?" Erza asked curiously.

I nodded, "Mordred Pendragon, rightful heir to the throne of Camelot, and our Saber."

I popped up a picture of her with Archive and Erza immediately looked at Mari before pointing to her, "Same person different world?"

I laughed and shook my head, "No, Mo-chan's eyes were green, but you're right, other than that, Mari here's a dead ringer for Mordred. Mordred was the last spirit King Gilgamesh summoned since he figured she'd be the most difficult to convince to be a team player. When he explained that he needed her to take on Lancelot and Artoria, she nearly lost it. It took a lot of praise, reassurances and cajolery to get her on board with it, and even then it took her some time to get used to us."

Levy suddenly piped up and startled me, "DID YOU JUST SAY MORDRED AND LANCELOT?!"

I jumped slightly, "Gah! When did you wake up?!"

"About the time you started talking about that queen," Gajeel declared from where he was propped up on his elbow digging in his ear, "I've been awake since you mentioned summoning that Amakusa guy. Where'd Elric and Serena disappear to?"

I shrugged, "Hell if I know. Apparently they had a friend with spatial magic powerful enough to teleport them home on standby and never bothered to mention it."

Gajeel raised an eyebrow and honestly looked kinda bored by the revelation, "Seriously? That's nuts. Where'd ya get the sword? What happened while I was out?"

"Natsu knocked down that big tree and unleashed the end of the world," I replied equally calmly, "I broke out my secret weapon here, tried to stop it, failed. The greatest dragon slayer in the world showed up and took care of it. I've had the sword the whole time but it was transformed into a pocket knife. Did you get the bit about me finally getting rid of that memory block?"

"The impossible one you mentioned to me, Jet and Droy on July 16th?" Levy asked, "So it was an actual memory block?"

I nodded, "Erased about ten percent of my life before age 12 and almost the entirety of the event that led to it being put on me. Specifically, it made me forget everything I knew about magic, especially the fact that it existed. I was actually a pretty talented little fucker! Boggles the mind, I know. Long recap short, I went halfway around the world and got mixed up in a battle royal between mages and the ghosts of heroes over the rights to a wish granting device."

"Nah, pull the other one, it plays Jingle Bells," Gajeel replied dryly.

"Give me a better explanation for the orbital artillery cannon and magic sword," I replied sharply.

Gajeel opened his mouth to reply and then closed it back, "Carry on."

I nodded, "Thank you. Anyway, yes Levy. The ghost of King Arthur, or rather Artoria because of some genderbender nonsense Merlin dropped on her to help shut up the questions from the people who had reservations about a lady king, was one of the seven ghosts summoned to fight over a wish. Lancelot was another. My ghost, King Gilgamesh…"

"SO YOU DID MEET KING GILGAMESH!" Levy exclaimed.

I smiled, "Yes, I was his apprentice for a short while."

"SO COOL!" Levy squealed.

Gajeel just looked at her, "Seriously?"

Levy swatted him lightly, "Shut up, that's amazing!" Then she turned back to me and waved with a huge excited grin, "Continue!"

I smiled, "So anyway, since His Majesty knew we were up against Artoria and Lancelot, he summoned Mordred," I popped up the picture again, "Yes also a girl because she was literally a clone of Artoria, artificially aged up by her mother Morgan le Fey."

Levy and Gajeel both looked at the picture for a moment and then Levy leaned over to look past me at Mari, "Is that…?"

I snorted with a small smile, "Apparently I'm not the only one who saw the resemblance. Erza asked the same thing. No, that's not her. Mari there has brown eyes, Mo-chan had green."

"Oho, Mo-chan is it?" Levy asked with a teasing grin. I blinked at her flatly, of course the resident polyglot knew Japanese honorifics.

"I'm getting there," I replied, "Be patient." Levy pouted at me a little before scooting back over to her seat and waiting impatiently. I smirked lightly, "So anyway, after Queen Semiramis," I expanded the screen to include pictures of her, King Gilgamesh and Amakusa-sensei, all labeled, "King Gilgamesh summoned the ghost of the demigod Karna to act as our heavy hitter. Karna was the son of the Sun god of India, and his raw power easily rivaled King Gilgamesh at his strongest. The only way anyone ever beat him in life was by tricking him into giving up his invincible armor. Even then he was such a good guy that the god who tricked him felt like crap and gave him a divine spear that could blow up a planet if he went all out with it as an apology. Karna never used it, but he had it, and he was a world class badass even without it, so Karna was our backup in case His Majesty's other plans didn't work out." The screen expanded to include Karna.

"Next up was the huntress Atalanta," my screen expanded to show her, "She wasn't summoned to fight in the Holy Grail War, but rather to hunt down and exterminate a serial killer who was loose in the city and had made a habit of killing entire families. She didn't take much persuading, the hard part was getting her to stay put long enough to hear the plan, but once we had her, the next member of our team was a piece of cake to convince." The screen expanded again, "The son of her friend Peleus…"

"OH MY GOD YOU TRAINED WITH ACHILLES?!" Levy exclaimed excitedly.

The rest of us blinked at her in surprise. "I'm honestly a little surprised you know who he is," I admitted, "but yes, Achilles himself was our next recruit. He had looked up to Atalanta quite a lot in his childhood, so when presented with a chance to work alongside her and a chance to face down a king who had never been defeated in battle, he couldn't say "HELL YES!" fast enough."

"Did he win?" Gajeel asked as he munched on a mouthful of nails that he'd pulled from a bag.

I blinked at him and then, "I'm getting there. You people are not good at this whole 'patience' thing are you?"

"What was your first clue?" they chorused.

I sighed, "Anyway, next up was Crazy Uncle Willy, better known as the famous playwright William Shakespeare. Biggest damn ham you've ever seen, but brilliant at screwing with people's heads. That was actually the core of his magical abilities. He couldn't do anything but mess with people's heads, but he could do it well enough as a Heroic Spirit to bring down anybody we pointed him at with nothing but words." The smug, trolling-ass grin my memory of Uncle Willy painted across the screen should've been all the proof anyone needed that he was a grandmaster of mind fucks.

"And then finally Mordred," I explained as her image popped up to complete the roster, "Like I said, she took a little convincing, but due to some certain requirements of our ah, playstyle, she was definitely crucial."

"What requirements?" Erza asked.

I blushed, "Well, to put it simply the spirit-mage contract wasn't made for one mage to be able to maintain eight spirits at once, it only pulls enough power from the mage for one. So since all eight were linked and drawing from me, we needed a way to draw the power out faster. The best way to do that is through bodily fluids." I let that hang in the air for a moment, really hoping I wasn't going to have to explain.

"You mean like blood?" Erza asked curiously.

"Blood…" I agreed before adding, "or spit…" Deep breath Jerry, you can do this, "…or semen."

Silence reigned for a full minute and then…

"DUUUUUDE! THAT'S SO MESSED UP!" Gajeel cackled as he promptly started rolling around on the ground laughing his ass off while I blushed as crimson as Erza's hair. Levy looked like I had slapped her with a wet fish out of nowhere and I couldn't even bear to look at Erza. "NO WONDER THAT KING SUMMONED A PRINCESS FOR YOU TO FUCK! IT WAS THAT OR TAKE IT UP THE ASS! GIHIHIHIHIIII!" He rolled around on the ground giggling for about a minute before he realized, "Oh shit wait you fucked a princess?!"

I still couldn't bear to look up as I admitted, "Mo-chan and I had an intensely intimate and physical relationship, yes."

If it were possible to actually die from laughing too hard, Gajeel would've been dead two or three times over as he pounded the ground. "An int…An intensely intimate and physical relationship?!" he wheezed, "OH MY GOD YOU ARE SUCH A DORK! HOHOHOLY SHIT! KEEP GOING! KEEP GOING! OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST STORY I'VE EVER HEARD! HAHAHAHA!"

"SO IN BETWEEN THE FIGHTING I GOT MY SPIRIT MERGED WITH THE GHOST OF THE MOST POWERFUL PHARAOH WHO EVER LIVED, LEARNED HOW TO FIGHT AND GOT A MAGIC SWORD. We kicked ass. We won. We used the wish make sure no child would ever suffer again. THE END." I declared loudly, my face slightly less crimson but not by much.

A moment later as Gajeel finally got control of himself, I exhaled, "The spirit merging thing is also why my magic manifests the way it does. I'd have a much stronger affinity for star magic than sun magic if I hadn't had my spirit merged with my far distant ancestor Ozymandias the Sun King. However since I was, my magic now manifests as sunlight with the explosive properties of Ozymandias's Dendera Light, and because he had over a hundred kids and ushered in an era of peace and economic prosperity, I also have an affinity for mental magic which is why I got the rare Desire branch of Light magic instead of just generic make stuff go boom magic. Oh, and I've ever since felt a strange love of card games that I don't really get, but I enjoy it so I'm not questioning it. Any further questions?"

"So, did you know your spirit had merged with the ghost of an ancient pharaoh when we went to that costume party?" Levy asked curiously.

I shook my head, "At some subconscious level I did, but I only chose that costume because I was already covered in bandages."

"What's the sword got to do with it though?" Gajeel asked.

"I was dating one of the strongest knights who ever lived while half a dozen legendary warriors were scouring the city with intent to kill me," I replied dryly, "Do you really think I could've gone through that without learning how to use a sword? They only merged me with Ozymandias because of how tough the opposition was. It kicked my magic levels up to ten times what they naturally were, which is about what I had when I arrived at Fairy Tail. The increased flow to my magic circuits caused them to permanently manifest, which is why this mark is here." I tapped the oddly shaped scar around my eye, "It's not a scar like we thought, it's actually my magic circuits. I wouldn't be surprised if they manifested across my whole body when I hit a hundred percent."

"I thought it was a tattoo," Gajeel declared offhandedly.

"If they went to all that trouble to help you and make you stronger though," Levy mused, "And you were as tough as you were when you arrived at Fairy Tail, then how'd you get a memory block?"

I smiled thinly, "After we won, right before he headed back to the afterlife, King Gilgamesh erased all record of me being a mage and buried my memories to protect me from the Mage's Association. If word had gotten back to them about me having inherited the power of a mage from the Age of Gods, then they would've slapped me with a Sealing Designation in a heartbeat, twelve year old kid or not. I'd have been damn lucky to be married off to someone I didn't even know to start a powerful bloodline, and more probably I'd have been stuffed in a padded cell and used as a lab rat while they tried to figure out how to replicate the procedure." I sat back and snorted lightly, "Did I mention that the world is run by assholes back home?"

"But, what about your wish?" Erza asked after a moment, "Didn't you say that you had used your wish to ensure no child could ever be hurt again?"

I exhaled angrily, "If only it were that simple. We couldn't just wish for children to be impossible to harm, that would lead to children being used as soldiers because they'd be invincible. Every other blanket simple wish like that would lead to something similar. The best we could do was place a protective enchantment over the children of the world so that nobody could ever turn upon them with angry or harmful intentions, except in self defense to keep any psycho kids from abusing it, or involve them in things that would harm them. That saved a lot of them, but at most, I'm certain it wasn't more than ninety percent, and it didn't do anything for the children who were sick or starving. Something like a Sealing Designation technically isn't harmful intentions, if anything it's a horribly thorough attempt to preserve the person in question, like some gods forsaken museum specimen," I spat, "That's no way to live."

"We did a great thing," I declared quietly, "but it wasn't enough."

Then King Gilgamesh's words echoed back to me and I smiled, "So I'll keep the truth of that one world where we could do enough tucked close to my heart, and help however I can."

Then a thought occurred to me, "By the way Gajeel, did we ever have that rematch?"

Gajeel blinked at the non-sequitur, then he sat up, "No we didn't! You wanna go?"

I shook my head, "Not right now, I have to keep these two stable or their wounds could open back up, but yes sometime soon we should do that. What was that you were doing earlier that turned your hair white?"

Gajeel immediately puffed up proudly, "Divine Steel Dragon Mode! Erza gave me a holy sword and I was able to amp my power to ten, no, a hundred times what it ever was before!" Then he ran a hand through his hair, "Seems like it's worn off now though." Then his face snapped back to a grin as he raised an excited fist of challenge, "Whatever, I'll still kick your ass!"

I snorted, "I'll look forward to our rematch then. I'm eager to see how I stack up now that I'm at full power and have all my memories ba-easy there Mari. I know it hurts but don't squirm."

Mari had just come awake with a gasp of pain and was trying to curl up around the massive (if well stitched) wound in her gut. Mari looked at me, clearly trying not to scream and cry in pain and I looked around, "Anybody got any anesthetic?"

"I got a fist," Gajeel supplied bluntly as he raised the fist in question.

Levy swatted him and pulled out a medical kit from her extradimensional pocket, "Right here." She set it down, opened it and quickly tossed me a small bottle of grayish brown powder, "About a teaspoon of that should do it." I caught the bottle and extracted the recommended amount with my telekinesis before hovering it over to Mari's mouth, "Say ah."

"Ah?" She asked and then flinched in surprise as the powder dropped into her mouth. I could've just dropped it, but that would've triggered a coughing fit, so instead I made it stick to her tongue. She promptly stuck her tongue out a little with an expression of pure disgust, "'At's sfo nafty…"

"Nasty but effective. It's gotten me through a few gunshot wounds. Nothing as nasty as what happened to you, but it's all we've got," Levy declared as she walked over and uncorked a canteen, quickly kneeling to give Mari a drink, "Here, this'll help get the taste out of your mouth."

Mari sipped a bit of the water as best she could and when she was done she looked around at us, "So…I'm guessing since the sun's shining we won?"

I nodded and Levy declared brightly, "Largely thanks to you. If you hadn't burst in when you did, Lucy wouldn't have been able to summon Taurus and we would've all been dead before help could arrive!" Then a thought visibly crossed her mind and she looked up at me, "We didn't drop Lucy's keys anywhere did we?"

I shook my head, "She hasn't moved from where she dropped, they should be right here in her…" I blinked as I realized both of Lucy's hands were empty, "…hand?"

A look of horror crossed Erza's face and she immediately started patting Lucy down, searching for the keys and going steadily paler. I felt my chest tighten, "Erza, why do you look like you just realized something really really bad and I'm really really hoping you didn't because if you just thought what it sounded like you did and oh fuck…"

Erza looked up at me with a look of absolute horror on her face and I went pale, "Oh shit…Don't tell me…"

"Serena was a Celestial Wizard…" Erza whispered in horror, "from one of the most infamous dark guilds in Ishgar…"

"WHAT?!" Levy and Gajeel chorused as something like a ball of ice settled into my gut.


...

A Few Hours Later

...


The locals woke up before Lucy did, and it took everything we had to not stop them from throwing a party. Instead we just asked for a quiet place and quickly explained what had happened. The man we learned later to be the highest ranking noble after the young king had been killed by the High Priestess a few years earlier had been very gracious and understanding, so we were quickly escorted to a room in the royal palace with very soft beds for Lucy and Mari to rest in. I took turns with Erza sitting cross legged between them to keep their wounds held tightly shut since we had the best telekinesis of the group.

Natsu, Happy and Miguel all woke up around the same time, and we were surprised to learn that Natsu had absolutely no memory of what had happened after he was yanked into the blood pool. When we told him about Lucy's keys, it took me and Gajeel both to stop him from charging off to go find Serena and Elric and talk sense into him. He'd stayed put, but he was visibly not pleased about it.

The news hit Miguel so hard that he couldn't even get excited about seeing the city, but we sent him out with Gajeel and Leo to guard him anyway. "You're our client Miguel, but I believe this is an internal matter," Erza informed him rather sternly, "And for the sake of Lucy's pride and dignity as a wizard, I'd rather not leave you with the memory of what she's going to be like when she finds out. Please, go with Gajeel and Loke and see the city. We'll be here when you get back, and Jerry will give you a calling card if you need any assistance. This is your dream Miguel," she added quietly, "You shouldn't spend this time in here brooding with us."

Miguel didn't particularly like it, but since Gajeel and Leo picked him up under the armpits and carried him out the door, he really didn't have much say in the matter. That left just me, Erza, Levy, Natsu, Happy and Dimaria, grimly waiting for Lucy to wake up in one of the grimmest silences I'd ever experienced.

We had kind of hoped that Lucy wouldn't notice right away when she woke up. Of course she did, and I knew as I heard the sheer horror and fear and rage and sorrow screaming through every fiber of her being that the only thing I could do to calm her down was knock her out, which would only delay the inevitable, or wait it out.

I had honestly been fully expecting her to lash out the instant she understood that nobody would pull such a horrid prank on her. It was a reasonable expectation for someone who had just lost several family heirlooms, a slew of friends and the only magic she knew all in one fell swoop.

That didn't make it any easier to endure as I firmly held her down with my telekinesis to keep her from ripping her wound open and bleeding out in her fury.

Her lip trembled for a moment and I couldn't even look at her as it sank in. Then I all but heard her snap as she scrunched her eyes shut suddenly and demanded in a very ugly and cold voice, "Let me up Jerry."

"No," I replied quietly.

"DID YOU NOT HEAR ME?" Lucy demanded as she started struggling against my telekinetic hold, her magic bucking and straining trying to break her loose, "I SAID LET ME UP! GET YOUR GODDAMN HAND OFF ME RIGHT NOW AND LET ME UP!"

"I heard you perfectly," I declared sharply, "And my answer stands: You. Are staying. PUT. If you get up right now, your wound will open and you WILL DIE."

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT!" Lucy shouted, "I'M GOING TO GET MY KEYS!"

"And how exactly are you going to do that Lucy?" Erza asked in a stony voice from where she was propped against the wall, with her arms crossed and her fingers squeezing her armor so hard I thought it might leave dents. She raised her gaze to meet Lucy's and said, "Serena is one of the most talented and formidable dark wizards on the continent. She and Elric are each strong enough to take down entire guilds by themselves, and there are four more of equal or greater strength with them. Even if you could catch up to them and confront them as you are now, you would beyond any shadow of a doubt die. You are very lucky Serena did not slit your throat when she had the chance."

Lucy went still and Levy picked up quietly, "Loke checked with the other spirits as soon as we found out. Serena's killed over a dozen other Celestial Wizards for their keys, including two Zodiac holders. If you had been conscious and tried to resist, she probably would've killed you too. We were up to our necks in monsters, there's no way we could've stopped her if she'd decided to hurt you."

Lucy would've been trembling with impotent fury if I hadn't been restraining her. Then Natsu spoke up, "You're alive and that's…"

Lucy promptly broke my telekinetic hold enough to twist her head and glare at Natsu. "Don't you dare even speak to me," she hissed.

The rest of us looked at her in growing worry as Natsu and Happy recoiled in shock. "Wha…?" Natsu tried to force a smile and held his hands up in a peaceful gesture, "L-lucy, c-calm down, w-we're friends right?"

"HELL NO WE ARE NOT FRIENDS!" Lucy shrieked, "I BLAME YOU ENTIRELY FOR THIS! IF YOU AND THAT DAMN CAT HADN'T LURED ME INTO THAT STUPID S-CLASS QUEST I WOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE RIGHT NOW, I'D STILL HAVE MY KEYS, AND-"

"And the world would've ended this morning," Dimaria interjected sharply, her expression clearly conveying that she'd had enough of Lucy's rant.

Lucy turned her head over and went to snap at her, and Dimaria promptly had her by the throat, earning stunned and worried looks from all of us. "Allow me to introduce myself," she declared as Lucy went bug eyed with fear at the calm steely gaze meeting hers, "I am Dimaria Yesta. My entire city, and everyone in it, including every friend and family member I ever had, is dead. I was given one mission when my mother died right in front of me: Protect our sacred relics and our city's knowledge. I came out of hiding to join your team because this handsome man keeping you and me alive right now stuck his neck out and faced down an army to keep them from ransacking my city. I got stabbed fifteen times in the gut this morning trying to protect you," she continued with a falsely serene smile masking her own steely fury, "And when I woke up, two of the seven sacred artifacts entrusted to me which mean more to me than my life and certainly more than yours, were stitched into my gut and yours."

All of us were knocked reeling by the revelation as Dimaria's eyes snapped wide open and her expression went from false serenity to utterly incandescent fury, "So, if you're going to go haring off half-cocked after one of the most dangerous wizards on the continent, with no plan, no training, no leads and no chance of winning, then I'll be taking my family's lacrima back before you go to ensure it doesn't fall into the wrong hands, by ripping it out of you any way I can. And rest assured," she added as she raised a hand and a small bubble of whirling dark air and crackling lightning manifested around her fist, "I am a LOT more practiced and in tune with this magic than you are."

Silence reigned and Lucy was frozen stiff with fear. I added another thing to the list of stuff Mari had in common with Mordred: killer glare.

Dimaria turned her head back to face the ceiling with a sigh and lowered her hand as the miniature storm flickered out, calmly retracting her other hand from around Lucy's throat and folding both hands gently over the one I had resting just above her wounds, "So, I recommend you rest up, heal and when you can move without killing yourself, learn to use the magic Serena stole from me to give you in exchange for those keys you're so worried about. Then, when you're actually strong enough to do something about it, we'll all help you find her and take your keys back. Until then, you have no leads, and you are in no shape to go get any. So lie still and heal for now. Your spirits aren't dead like my family. They've just been taken, but you'll never get their keys back if you go and get yourself killed because you were too impatient to let your nearly lethal gut wound heal."

She exhaled slowly and gave me a gorgeous sunny smile that under normal circumstances probably would've knocked me flat, "Jerry? Can you help me sleep? I'm feeling a little worn out right now."

I smiled, "Of course." A gentle wave of sleep magic washed over her and a few moments later she was snoring lightly. I looked at Lucy, "You should rest too. I'm not sure if you need to be eating, but I'll try to stave off any hunger you're feeling with my magic."

Lucy gave me a glare like she wanted to break down in tears, to protest and rant and scream, but instead she just glanced away and muttered, "Fine." A quick pulse of sleep magic and she was out, which freed me up to pay attention to Levy trying to console Natsu and Happy who were both crouched in the corner with dark clouds over their heads.

She tried to assure them that Lucy hadn't meant it, but the thing I was more concerned about hoping she didn't mean was the last bitter thought I'd heard run through her mind before I zonked her: I wish I'd never joined this stupid guild.


...

Later

...


The citizens of Mattachu were immensely grateful. Apparently they had known what rested beneath their great tree, so they knew how close the world had come to oblivion when it fell. We made sure not to mention Natsu was the one who had finished knocking it over and were very pleasantly surprised when we learned it had survived and was growing again as it was meant to.

We were offered vast riches as thanks, so many gold bowls and cups and swords and trinkets that I couldn't even begin to count them. We wound up only accepting one unique item each though, as once we'd explained to them that the gold itself was very valuable in Fiore but that we'd feel awful selling anything they gave us as a reward, they started prying up the golden bricks that paved the plaza around the Great Tree and loaded them onto my card cart for us! It was enough gold that I had to let Erza take over maintaining Mari and Lucy's wounds while Levy and I tried to calculate how much would actually be beneficial without completely flooding the market and driving prices down, because by our very quick calculations, there was almost twelve thousand tons of gold just in those pavers because they were solid.

Eventually we settled on ten bricks each, which totaled out to about 1.25 tons of gold each. After a quick telepathic conversation, Levy and I tacked an extra brick on to cover Natsu's debts because not doing so when we could would've been just plain too damn mean. We sealed it all into Card Dimensions for safe keeping and then tucked the cards into our extra dimensional pockets, each quite firmly aware that we'd just become billionaires.

After that, the tricky bit became convincing Miguel to wait a month after our return to publicize Mattachu's existence so that we could actually convert our haul to cash before the inevitable price plummet the city's existence would trigger. He didn't like it, but he agreed. He liked it slightly better when we floated the notion that it would take time to round up the press and all the Archaeological big wigs and everyone else, as well as pointing out that if we gave it a month then we'd have time to set up communications and a trade route to Mattachu. We floated the idea of building a rail road to Mattachu, and Miguel nearly fainted with glee when he realized we actually could. The people of Base Camp were equally overjoyed and joined in the party with the people of Mattachu as soon as we hooked them up with a good road.

We spent the next week heading back the way we'd come, Gajeel and I using Earth and Iron Make to construct an elevated railroad all the way back to the port we'd landed at in Minstrel. Levy's assistance proved immensely valuable since she could use Blackout Mode with the desert sun to give her enough power to create ton after ton of iron for Gajeel to eat so that he could keep going, and the light itself was all I needed.

Even though Lucy sulked and spent most of the trip not speaking to anyone, she grudgingly admitted that our progress was amazing and that her father would give probably half his fortune to have a building crew like us. The way we were literally flying along with railroad seemingly springing into existence of its own accord behind us was something to behold. "Even if there hadn't been any gold, we could be the richest guys in the kingdom in a year just doing work like this!" Gajeel laughed as we ran along with iron rails popping into existence behind us as stone rose to form a perfect road in front of us.


...

Dimaria revealed after a few days of inexplicably quick healing that the lacrima that had been implanted in her and Lucy both possessed powerful healing magic, which was actually what she'd used to heal Natsu after his run in with the Phosphor-mites. "I was a little leery of using it at first since it feels a lot more intwined with my body than it did before," she admitted, "But once I was sure it was still working like it used to, I decided to start trying to speed the healing up. It'll still take about two weeks or so before I'm fully recovered, but Lucy should be done in about a week and a half. We'll still need to take it easy, but if I'm able to keep this up for a few more days, then we won't be absolutely screwed if we have to run or fight."

"What kind of magic is that?" Levy asked, "It whips up storms and heals you?"

Mari smiled, "Oh it's the magic of our Storm God, the dragon Notus. The one in Lucy is from his brother the Snow God Dragon Boreas." Natsu and Gajeel's heads both immediately whipped around and we all stared at her in shock as her words registered. Silence reigned for a second and Mari asked nervously, "Is…something wrong?"

"Do you know the Sky Dragon Grandeeny?" Gajeel asked quickly.

"The sister of Lords Notus and Boreas?" Mari asked, "I know of her, but I never had the chance to actually meet any of them. Um, why do you ask?"

"Our little sister Wendy is Grandeeny's daughter," Natsu explained, "We thought if you knew Notus and Boreas then maybe you'd have some idea where Grandeeny and Wendy are."

Dimaria's jaw dropped, "Wait, who are you two again?!"

"Natsu Dragneel, son of the Fire Dragon Igneel!"

"Gajeel Redfox, son of Metallicana!

Dimaria nearly fainted, "I'm friends with the sons of the Fire Dragon King and the Iron Dragon Lord?"

Natsu and Gajeel both looked at each other in confusion and revealed that they hadn't actually known of their fathers' respective titles. This led to Dimaria telling them several legends about Igneel and Metallicana's exploits and by the end of the evening, Dimaria was dubbed their sister. Dimaria was absolutely adorable with how completely flustered by the notion that she should count as Notus's daughter, but Natsu and Gajeel were adamant that her having his magic and being the last of a family he favored so heavily meant she was effectively his daughter the way they were Igneel and Metallicana's sons.

"Does that mean Lucy is Lord Boreas's daughter?" Dimaria asked, clearly having trouble with the whole notion still.

Natsu and Gajeel looked at Lucy, who was pretending to not listen and still sullenly pouting, then they chorused, "Nah." Lucy made a face and Natsu declared, "She's some relative of Anna-sensei's, so while she is a Dragon Slayer now, she's not a dragon's kid the way we are. Besides, it would be totally weird if she was my sister."

"Why would it be any weirder than me?" Dimaria asked curiously.

"'Cause Flame-brain here's had a crush on Lucy since the moment they met," Gajeel answered with a crooked grin.

Lucy and Natsu both looked like they'd been slapped. "DUDE! NOT COOL!" Natsu shouted, "SHE'S ALREADY PISSED AT ME, DON'T MAKE IT WORSE!"

"Don't worry Natsu," Lucy said quietly, "Nothing can make this worse."

Suffice to say that killed the mood straight away.


...

The next day, we paused our construction around midmorning and asked Dimaria if she wanted to run the railroad by Mildian, but she revealed that her final act upon leaving was to conceal the entire city in a time stop using a spell left to them by the god of time.

"Nobody will ever hurt my home," she'd declared quietly, "I brought all the books and everything, but the city itself has been lifted from the time stream. I know it might not be what my family wanted, but I think they all knew it was the only way I'd ever be able to leave." She was quiet for a little while after that, but I could tell it was weighing heavy on her, so I gave her a gentle hug. Then she nearly gave me a stroke as she promptly fainted.

It didn't even occur to me that she'd fainted because she was happy. Then I saw the giddy grin on her face and Levy and Erza started giggling. Lucy just huffed and looked away in disgust. I suddenly remembered the kiss she'd given me right before the Shadow Giant attacked and then I was blushing too. Gajeel, Natsu and Miguel making little "Whoowhoowhoo!" noises and pumping their fists didn't help, especially with Happy singing gleefully, "She liiiiikes yooooou!"

Dimaria was horribly embarrassed when she woke up, but thankfully Erza was able to settle the teasing down rather quickly, so we just spent the rest of the day trying hard not to give them any more ammunition. It wasn't too hard since I was on the ground building railroad with Gajeel and she was on the Card Car with everyone else resting.

The government of Minstrel was quite pleased to say the least when we made it back to the port we'd arrived at and explained it to them that we'd connected a lost city in the mountains to the port. We didn't tell them it was Mattachu on the other end since we didn't want the word to spread too soon, but we were sure they'd find it a pleasant surprise. Going by foot or wagon, even with the paved path, would take several weeks, and it would also probably take a few weeks to get a train set up. Even once that happened, it would still take time for word to make it across the sea, and even more for it to be believed. We cashed out a few pounds of the gold we'd gotten from Mattachu to fund a trip back across the sea to Fiore and a week later we were stepping off the boat at Hargeon.


...

We made it back to Hargeon on September 26th and immediately contacted Master with Archive to let him know that we'd made it back, the mission was a total success and we were taking Miguel home before heading back to the Guild Hall.

"YOU FINISHED THE DECADE QUEST IN A MONTH AND A HALF?!" he exclaimed and all the noise behind him stopped.

Then we heard what sounded like the entire guild roar, "WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"

"And we got a new recruit!" I declared brightly as I gently guided Dimaria into view, "This is Dimaria! She's a Storm Dragon Slayer." I left off the bit about the five other insanely powerful lacrima in her possession. There was no telling who might be listening, and one set of powerful magic items getting stolen out from under my nose was plenty for one lifetime, and judging by what Mari had told us, her lacrima were a lot more powerful than Lucy's keys.

Master blinked and then a look of dread settled over his face, "Oh gods, how much debt are we in?"

Dimaria blinked in confusion and Erza smiled smugly, "Not a single jewel more than we were when we left, and we got enough of a haul to pay off the entire guild's debt."

I think Master's brain broke a little right then if the way his mouth flapped mutely and his face went as pale as his hair in shock was anything to go by. "Is he alright?" Dimaria asked me quietly.

Master suddenly snapped back to a healthy complexion, "Let me get all this straight. You finished a decade quest in a month and a half. You found another dragon slayer who wants to join us. One of you, I'm guessing either Jerry or Erza, bounced the Etherion into the moon and branded our guild mark onto it. And to top it all off, you got enough money from this mission to pay off the entire guild's debts?!"

"And enough left over to make everyone who went on this quest a billionaire," Levy added with a grin.

Master looked like a fish out of water for almost a full minute and then he leapt to his feet, threw his hands in the air and shouted at the top of his lungs, "FREE DRINKS FOR EVERYBODY! LET'S PAAARTYYY! WE ARE FAIRY TAIL!" he bellowed as he pumped his fist, "WE EAT IMPOSSIBLE FOR BREAKFAAAST!"

"AND SHIT IT OUT ON IMPROBABILITY!" the whole guild cheered back.

I blinked, "Is that our new motto?"

"YER DAMN RIGHT IT IS!" Master cheered, "CANA! GILDARTS! GET THE BOOZE!" He looked at us, "IF WE'RE NOT STILL GOING WHEN YOU ALL GET BACK THEN WE'LL START FRESH WHEN YOU GET HERE! SEE YOU SOON! WAAAHAHAHAHA! PAAARTYYY!"

So saying, he dove off out of sight and we all started trading high fives. We'd had our victory for two weeks now, but the news about Lucy's keys and the worry of her and Mari's wounds had made it feel a little bit hollow. Hearing Master start the celebration party made it really hit us that we'd won.

Victory is sweet.


...

The Next Day

...


Jean Darc was sitting on a bench at the train station with an umbrella, the same way she'd been when we arrived in Thistleton the first time. Just like then, it was raining. She looked up and her eyes went wide as she saw us come in for a landing. She immediately ran over to us, "You're back already?"

I smiled, "Well, we are wizards after all. Before you get too excited though, there's someone who wants to see you."

Gajeel and Natsu stepped out of the way, and Miguel stepped down onto the platform, his eyes going wide as he realized who was there, "Jean?"

Jean's eyes went wide, "Miguel?"

"JEAN!"

"MIGUEL!"

It was something right off the silver screen as the two long lost lovers all but flew into each other's arms. I'm not sure who was more excited by the extremely romantic reunion, Erza, Levy or Mari. I had another round of high fives with Gajeel, Natsu and Happy with a huge grin on my face.

I'd known old Doc Whistler was limber, but it still surprised the hell out of me when he jumped three feet in the air and ran to hug his grandson, the years of worry and pain seeming to melt away as he sobbed into Miguel's shirt.

It put a smile on my face that lasted for hours. We didn't accept the reward, given how much we'd brought home from Mattachu, it would've been barely pocket change anyway. "Put it towards the wedding," Erza'd instructed them with a smile.


...

==QUEST COMPLETE==

...


We could've flown back, but I'd been awake for twelve hours and keeping us in the air for four. Flying us back after that would've been risky, and it wasn't like we couldn't afford to book an entire train car. Hell, we could've bought the whole train if we'd wanted to!

Natsu wasn't pleased about it, but then Mari put an anti-seasickness spell on him like what the captain on the cruise ship had used and he was ready to go. Lucy had been quiet all day and went straight to the private sleeper compartment we'd booked for her before locking the door without a word. The rest of us headed down to the dining car, and we were very pleased to find Risley working the bar. A few hours of celebratory feasting and regaling Risley with the tale of our quest to Mattachu later, we were all fat, happy and in the cases of everyone but Erza, more than a little bit tipsy.

So even though it should have set every alarm bell in our heads screaming, nobody noticed the man in white enter the car until he was standing right next to us. Erza looked up at the sound of her name and as her face went ghostly pale in horrified shock, the alarm bells started ringing. My head snapped around, I was still sober enough to understand that if Erza looked scared, something really bad was about to happen.

"I hope you've had fun," the blue haired man with the alarmingly familiar face declared with a bright smile, "but I'm afraid the party's over."

...


...

NEXT TIME on Mad Little Slice of Heaven...

...


...

Superstition, fear, and jealousy…

"You really threw my plans for quite a loop leaving the country like that Erza…"

THE WOUNDS OF THE PAST SCREAM INTO THE PRESENT…

Dead I am the one, exterminating son!

"GET AWAY FROM HER!"

HEARTS BLAZE AS THE NIGHT TURNS WHITE…

Slippin' through the trees, stranglin' the breeze…

"I'M NOT LOSING ANYONE ELSE!"

WISHES AND REGRETS COLLIDE ON THIS CURSED ISLAND…

Dead I am the sky, watchin' angels cry…

"There's a magic that can revive the dead?!"

ONE LAST CHANCE TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT…

As they slowly turn, conquering the worm…

"If you could go back in time, with the power you have now, what would you do?"

IT'S A RACE TO THE TOP BEFORE THE GLASS RUNS OUT OF SAND…

DIG THROUGH THE DITCHES AND BURN THROUGH THE WITCHES, I SLAM IN THE BACK OF MY DRAGULA!

The shadowy figure's eyes glowed with hatred and rage as it reached for its mask, "Allow me to introduce myself…"

UNSTOPPABLE FURY TAKES THE STAGE AS FAIRY TAIL RACES TO STOP…

.

THE TOWER OF HEAVEN

.

.

.

See you in Hell.