A/N: Hello, my lovelies. Thank you all so much for your reviews! I'm not going to say much to preface this chapter, but it is a rather heavy one, so... See y'all on the other side, I guess?

I couldn't breathe. I tried to scream, but my throat was filled with soot, and I was barely able to make more than a strangled sort of sigh. It was the same as every time I'd had this dream before, but that didn't make it any less terrifying. It didn't make me braver. In fact, in the dream, I couldn't even recall that I'd had it before.

There was fire all around me, and the pressure of the heat closing in on me was suffocating, more so than the ash and smoke in the air. The flames lapped greedily at my feet and I desperately tried to draw them closer to me as to save them from melting.

When ice is subjected to the heat, it melts. It turns to water. It's simple, basic science. As the physical embodiment of the cold, I was most vulnerable to heat over anything else. A bullet could tear through me, sure, but the heat could melt me down to my bones.

The fire roared higher and I flinched, trying to press my back further against the wall. I whimpered pathetically as I looked around, desperate for an exit. My eyes darted around the bedroom. There was the door, of course – after all, it was really just a bedroom – but the door was on the other side of the flames, and there would be no way for me to get out without getting burned.

So I sat in my corner. I curled up as tight as I could and tried to block it all out, even as the flames got closer and closer. My skin began to itch and I tried to scratch feverishly at my face, feeling the blood pour down it.

"…stronger than this…"

"…heating pad…"

"…can't lose you again…"

"…twenty-one credit semester…"

"…86.4 degrees…"

The voices that constantly haunted me returned with a furious determination. I screamed and covered my ears with my hands. They grew louder, more desperate, and I tried to claw off my ears, if only to find some purchase – some escape. Anything to keep me from completely losing my mind. What little I had left of it, anyway.

"Elsa!"

I jerked – that voice was far closer, and far too human, as opposed to the demonic whispers of the others. My eyes zeroed in on Anna, standing in the doorway. She located me and didn't hesitate before running into the fire.

I wanted to call out for her to stay away because I was dangerous, but I was too scared and too desperate for freedom from this hell. Besides that, my throat felt like it was filled with sand, and when I opened my mouth, blood bubbled up within it, dribbling down my chin. I choked on the stuff, sobbing silently.

Anna cried out and fell to the floor, but instead of it being a burning wood plank that hit her this time, it was a bullet. There was a figure standing in the doorway, holding up the smoking gun, but I couldn't make out any of its features.

"Anna!" I screamed and raised my hands to shoot some ice at the figure in spite of my own fear. My ice wouldn't show, though. No icicles shot out. No blast of magic. I was helpless. Useless. As Anna slowly bled out on the floor, her blood forming rivers that slithered towards me like snakes underneath the flames, there was nothing I could do but watch and slowly melt.

I woke up like I always do – with a small jolt. I was trembling, staring up at the rime-coated ceiling with wide eyes and trying to convince myself that it really was just a dream. I tried to focus on the air moving in and out of my lungs rather than the horrible images of the dream.

There was no Olaf there to comfort me. That was one thing that I had to get used to. He was always there in the past, even when my fire dream was at its absolute worst, about a year and a half ago. I was waking up shaking every night, but Olaf was over there.

I never woke Anna up when she was living with me – I was always too afraid of accidentally freezing her. I did, however, take some relief in the steady sound of her snoring. Losing that, too, was something that I had to get used to.

With a groan, I sat up, rubbing my gloved hands over my face. By the state of my apartment, the gloves were not enough to keep my magic at bay when I was having the dream. That was okay. I was the only one here, after all, and if it was possible for me to freeze my own heart, it probably would have happened by now.

It was late enough in the morning that I could get away with actually getting up and trying to function. I performed my morning routine as I always did, minus the part where I would feed the cats that I do not have. With my routine, I could pretend that I was okay.

There were no classes on a Sunday morning, so the music building was pretty vacant when I arrived. I killed the engine in my truck and tucked my keys into the bag I had brought.

Finding an empty practice room was very easy since, as I said, there was hardly anyone there at all. I couldn't very well deal with the restless energy inside of me, but I could prepare for my performance as Elphaba in about a month.

I spent longer than usual on my warm-ups, feeling the need to center myself before getting into it. I performed my own accompaniment on the piano as I ran through the scales before tonicizing the key of my first piece for Wicked.

I didn't make it long before there was a knock on the door.

With a flinch, I stopped, staring at the door curiously. The practice rooms in MSU's music building basement didn't have windows, so I couldn't very well see who was out there (if anyone at all, as I wasn't opposed to the idea that I had imagined it) without opening it. I refused to do that, instead deigning to ignore the noise.

I continued practicing, and after a couple more minutes passed, I really was convinced that I had imagined the knock. After all, there was no one here, so why would someone be trying to get me to open up my practice room? There was no way someone actually –

Knock, knock, knock.

Again, I jerked and stared at it in confusion for a moment. Whoever was out there, it wasn't Anna. I knew it wasn't Anna because she always knocked in a particular rhythm. It was her signature knock. It was the knock she would do on my door every day for the four years of my isolation that we actually occupied the same house.

Was it Graham? No, I had a feeling he'd be a bit more urgent about it. He was not the most patient person, you know.

Eventually, my curiosity won out, and I moved over to the door to open it. No sooner than I had opened it did a blur of ginger bolt into the room past me.

Anna shut the door and locked it again, leaning up against it and crossing her arms over her chest. She looked somewhat pissed off.

My mouth hung open in shock for a moment. Fear shot through me, and almost immediately, ice began to coat the baseboards of the walls. "You tricked me!" I cried. "Get out of here! You have to go!"

She clenched her jaw and defiantly stood straighter. "No," she said. "We need to talk, Elsa, and I'm not going to let you push me away anymore."

"So, you invade my practice room!?"

"How else was I going to get you one-on-one, where you couldn't simply walk away from me?"

Trapped now in this small room, I was distinctly aware of the oxygen leaving the air. I bit my lip and stumbled back until I hit the piano, accidentally striking a few of the keys with my rear. I stepped aside so I was in the small space between the piano and the wall, trying to get as far away from Anna as I could.

"Stay away from me!" I cautioned, holding my gloved hands out placatingly in front of me. "Please, Anna, you can't get close."

In spite of my warnings, she took a step closer to me, her own hands held out in front of her. "Why? Because of the snow? You'd never hurt me, Elsa. You're not going to hurt me."

"I've done it before!" I insisted. "Why do you think I got isolated in the first place?"

I could see the questions brewing behind her eyes, and she hesitated, but quickly cast it aside. "That doesn't matter right now, Elsa. Just talk to me. You can leave afterwards, and keep shutting me out, whatever! I just… I need you to talk to me. Just once, please. Just try."

I began to hyperventilate, pulling my hands close to my body and tugging roughly at my braid in distress. All I could picture was a small, redheaded girl with a newly-crafted white stripe in her hair, curled up and unconscious in my lap. "Anna, I can't…" I whimpered, my voice strangled. "I can't…"

Something in her gaze softened and she stepped back. Her hands twisted together in front of her as she looked on guiltily. "Elsa, hey, I didn't…" she swallowed hard. "I'm sorry… I wasn't thinking... I didn't mean to… I didn't mean to scare you… O-or trigger a meltdown… Just… Just try to breathe for me… You're not breathing right…"

"Well, what the fuck did you think would happen?" I shouted, and then slowly slid down the wall. I pulled my legs up close to my body and held my fisted hands over my ears and squeezed my eyes shut tight.

All I could think of was being trapped in small spaces just like this – ones with no light and no one around to hear me scream.

Anna seemed to realize how triggering the situation was for me and how much of a mistake she had made in trapping me here as I heard her own breathing quicken and tears began to carve pathways down her delicate cheeks. She knelt down before me. "Elsa… Listen to me, Elsa. It's okay. There's air all around you. Try to breathe. I'm right here. You're not alone – I promise you're not alone. It's just you and me. I'm the only one here. I need you to try to breathe for me."

I let out a choked noise, but it was getting slightly easier to breathe. I opened my eyes to stare into her guilty expression.

"I'm so sorry, Elsa… I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you… I just… I just wanted answers. I was so angry, I wasn't thinking. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you… Shh, it's alright… It's just you and me here, I promise. You're not alone."

When air was traveling normally through my throat again, she let out a small sigh of relief. "I'm sorry. I can… I can go…" she decided, and then stood up and brushed imaginary dust off of her jeans. She turned back towards the door and managed to get one step in before I spoke up.

"I can't talk," I moaned. "You know I can't talk. N-not about… Important stuff… I can't do social situations, and I just… I can't talk… My mind doesn't…"

"I know," she said softly, turning to face me again. "Can you listen? You don't have to talk. I'll do the talking. I just need you to listen. Do you think you can do that for me?"

Numbly, I nodded, not able to coerce my body into doing or saying anything more. I felt nonfunctional and limp, like a raggedy old doll being thrown around and manipulated and not being able to do anything about it.

Anna knelt before me again, this time leaving a bit more room. "You feel like you have to protect me, Elsa, but you forget that I've lived a whole eighteen years up until now. It may not seem like it sometimes, but I can handle myself. I'm also not going to let you shut me out like you did when I was five. Not after everything we've been through these past few months."

"Why?" I croaked pathetically.

"Because I love you," she answered without hesitation, a gentle smile on her face. "And I don't mean that because you're my sister – I don't love you oblig… obli… obligation-ally"

"Obligatorily," I murmured.

"Yeah, that. I don't love you obligatorially," she tried, and I gave a small smile as she butchered the word again. "I don't love you because you're my sister – I love you because you're you. All of you. I don't love you in spite of your autism, I love you and your autism. Same thing with your anxiety, and your ice magic. I mean… My sister has ice magic. Magic! How cool is that?"

I found that my smile was growing a little to match hers. It quickly fell, though. "But I could hurt you…" I reminded her.

"You're not going to."

"But I have before!" I cried, and then quieted almost immediately. I reached a trembling hand towards her and ever so lightly ghosted it over the stripe of white in her hair. "This was me. I did this."

Anna stopped breathing. She withdrew, ever so slightly, her eyes wide in shock. She slowly brought a hand up to touch the familiar skunk stripe. Her lack of response unsettled me. I was certain I'd just ruined everything. Certain that she hated me – finally, truly hated me. I brought my knees closer and tucked my hands against my stomach. I stared down at them, bracing myself for my sister's harsh words that were sure to come.

I certainly wasn't expecting for her to hug me.

All of a sudden, she was sobbing against me. I tensed in surprise, and then shifted so my legs were tucked underneath me and carefully wrapped my arms around her, making sure that my hands were not actually touching her.

"Anna?" I asked carefully.

She shook her head against me, also shifting so she was pressed more fully against my body. For a while, neither of us said anything. I just tried to hold her as best I allowed, fighting that voice in my mind that insisted I had to push her away because quite frankly, I didn't want to, and she had me trapped in a corner, anyway. I wasn't too proud to admit that she was physically stronger than I was.

When her sobs had turned into mere hiccups, she pulled back to look at me through watery eyes that held an insane amount of emotion. "Thirteen years," she murmured. "Thirteen years, and I had you right here, the whole time…" she lightly touched the familiar skunk stripe in her hair.

My eyes widened in disbelief. "Anna, I literally just told you that I've hurt you with my magic before, and all you care about is the fact that it left you with a physical mark?"

"I mean… You didn't do it on purpose, right?"

"Well, no, it was an accident while we were playing, but…"

"Then it's not your fault."

All I could do was stare at her. I shook my head, trying to figure out if I heard her right. "Anna, you almost died. If Mama and Papa hadn't found some witch doctor that was able to save you and wipe your memory of my magic, then you would have. I'm dangerous, can't you see that? Mama and Papa understood. That's why they locked me in my room."

She frowned, cocking her head a little. She looked like she wanted to say something, but she held back. She completely detached from me and bit her lip anxiously. After a minute, she sighed and apparently gave in to whatever battle she was having inside.

"I… I knew about the magic."

"…What?" I said, rather intelligibly, I might add.

She sighed again and met my gaze guiltily. "I… Well… When I was living at your apartment, you know, there were a… few instances… where I would wake up because it was, well, cold. You were always tossing and turning, and there was ice on the walls. I didn't want to wake you o-or mention it because… I didn't want to ruin what we had. I'm maybe not the smartest person, but I was able to make some possible connections. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to, you know, violate your privacy or whatever. I was just going to wait until you trusted me enough to tell me."

I had drawn my legs back up to my chest, curling in on myself in shame. "I… I wasn't going to…" I admitted, my voice much more hoarse than it had been a minute ago. "Why did you… I mean, why did you say something? In the parking lot?" I couldn't help but ask.

"You scared me," she said in a small voice. "I was worried you'd hurt yourself – you were just so angry and I didn't… I didn't want you to get hurt."

The words she was saying – I heard them, but they weren't quite processing in my mind. I swallowed hard and stood up abruptly. I stepped past her, hesitating before opening the door to the practice room.

"…Elsa?"

Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I glanced back towards Anna. "I, uh… I need a bit of time to think… I'll see you at Morning Rush later," I murmured, and then slipped out the door before she could say anything else.


In spite of the fact that I had implied I'd think about what Anna had told me, I did my very best not to think about it throughout the day, because I didn't know what to think. She had seen my magic without me even knowing. It was, in fact, a violation of my privacy.

Instead, I tried to think back to my therapy session with Dr. Morrison, two weeks ago, when I had revealed my powers to her. She had been understandably shaken about it – learning about the existence of magic in an otherwise magic-less world would be rather groundbreaking, I'd imagine. I couldn't even imagine how Anna must have reacted when she first saw it…

I'm still not sure what exactly had compelled me to show her. You all (imaginary audience of mine) have heard me complain, time and time again, about how much I hated how "shrinky" Dr. Morrison could be, and how she made me just talk when I didn't want to.

However… Whatever it is that made me show her, I didn't regret it. I did, for the first week, but my next session was a lot better than I could have ever expected. Dr. Morrison actually understood everything, and I felt like I could trust her a lot more now that she knew my secret and didn't judge me – only tried to help me. She was right. After three years of therapy with her, I hadn't opened up nearly as much as I did when I showed her my powers.

I wasn't at all prepared for how much of a relief it was to show someone, on my terms, and have them only try to help me deal with it.

Papa and Mama had always taught me to conceal. Not to feel. Dr. Morrison encouraged me to feel, and to explain what I felt, so that she could, in turn, help me come to grips with what I felt. It was… extremely helpful.

Letting out a sigh, I gave my head a small shake to clear it and focused more fully on crafting the lattes I was working on for the group of customers that had come in recently. I handed them off to Abbie and she called them out, allowing me to get to work on the next drink, for the order Anna was currently taking.

For what it's worth, Anna hadn't tried to get me to talk about our conversation earlier. She sent me glances every now and then, sometimes hiding her pain and sometimes letting it show. I tried to ignore it.

"You sounded wonderful the other night, Elsa," Abbie said quietly after we had cleared the line. She leaned against a counter and rubbed her hands together in front of her. "Thomas loved it. 'Abendempfindung' is his favorite word now, German or not."

I smiled in spite of myself as I wiped down one of the counters. "Thank you," I told her earnestly.

She gently brushed my shoulder with her hand. "I'm gonna go re-organize the walk-in freezer. Our new manager did not sort Friday's shipment correctly," she rolled her eyes and headed to the back of the store.

Once again, I was left alone with Anna. She cast me another glance, which I ignored, before cleaning the wads of paper out from behind the register. There was a group of customers chatting at the table in the far corner, but they were the only ones currently in the lobby.

I busied myself by wiping down the nozzle of one of our machines, not even looking up when the bell on the door jingled.

"Hi, welcome to Morning Rush," I heard Anna say. "What can I get for you today?"

I wasn't paying full attention, so I didn't manage to catch when her breath hitched in her throat. I did, however, manage to hear what the 'customer' said to her.

"Put the money in the bag, and no one gets hurt."

My blood ran cold, and I turned slowly towards the front of the store. Anna was standing stock-still, her eyes wide as she stared at the man in the dark jacket. The man who had a gun pointed right at her.

He shoved a bag onto the counter, but she didn't move. She was frozen in her spot, fear evident on her face.

"Go on, now, put the money in the bag!" he shouted, and it spurred her into action, fiddling with her machine with shaky hands.

Slowly, I walked up to the front counter and met his gaze. I wasn't going to let Anna face him alone. "Sir, please…" I murmured, but he just scowled at me.

"You! Are you a manager?"

"Yes," I lied.

He gestured to the sack on the counter with the gun before returning his aim to Anna. "Open the safe. Put everything in. Don't play dumb with me either, I know you've got a safe."

I swallowed hard and nodded. I happened to notice a couple customers from the table in the corner standing behind the man. They looked as if they were about to seize him, but they were waiting for my okay. I shook my head almost imperceptibly before dropping to my knees and beginning to fiddle with the safe.

Beside me, Anna's legs were quivering, and I took in a deep breath as I watched her. A burst of anger shot through me – he had a gun on my sister. A gun. Was pointed at her. I clenched my jaw as I opened the safe and carefully extracted the wads of money inside. Abbie was still in the walk-in, and I was somewhat glad – I wasn't willing to risk letting her son be motherless.

I knew, suddenly, what I had to do.

The fire. It was fear. The fire from the dream was fear. Fear will be your enemy. Isn't that what they said? I could let my fear hurt Anna, or I could overcome it. Either way, if I just sat there and let it fester, it would destroy both of us. I had to face it. I had to risk letting myself be hurt – risk letting others close – or else we'd both suffer.

No way out except through the flames.

I stood up abruptly, my speed catching the attention of the robber. His gun moved over to me, like I wanted.

"No quick movements!" he growled, and then shoved the bag closer to me with his free hand.

Compliantly, I put the wad of cash from the safe into the sack right after Anna finished emptying her cash drawer into it. I caught the eye of one of the men standing cautiously behind the gunman, still ready to seize him. His look turned questioning and I gave a tiny nod.

The moment one of the customers laid a hand on the robber, the gun went off.

"ELSA!"

The customers managed to grab the robber and take the gun from him, one of them hitting him in the head with the butt of it to knock him out. The look of surprise on the robber's face was somewhat priceless.

I had stumbled a little as a sudden pressure hit me, but I was too interested in what was going on to notice anything else. I turned my head to meet Anna's frantic, terrified gaze.

And then my legs gave out on me.

She caught me before I fell and carefully lowered me down to the ground. I frowned down at my chest, which was sporting a rather spectacular hole that was gushing blood.

"Oh," I said softly as my body began to shake.

"Elsa… Elsa, no…" she whimpered, tears immediately beginning to coat her cheeks.

Abbie rushed to the front of the store, taking in the sight with wide, terrified eyes. She cursed heavily. "I'm calling an ambulance. Keep pressure on the wound," she instructed Anna, and then pulled out her phone and went to the back of the store again.

Anna nodded shakily, keeping one hand pressed against the hole in my chest and the other cradling my head. She had me laying in her lap, and I wasn't sure if she was trembling more than I was. "Elsa, no… No… I-I know it hurts, but I have to keep the pressure on it… Just… Just st-stay with me, help is on the way…"

"D-d-doesn't… D-doesn't hurt…" I stammered out, even as blood filled my mouth and my body felt nonfunctional and heavy all of a sudden.

"Shh… Shh, it's okay… It's okay, I've got you… There's an ambulance on the way, just… Just hush…" Tears were beginning to fall off of Anna's face and land on my cheeks. I found that my own eyes were surprisingly dry.

I tugged one of my gloves off and slowly raised my bare hand so it touched her cheek, wiping away the tears. "You w-worry… too m-much…" I murmured through my wheezing breaths. "Don't… Don't worry s-so much…"

"You have to stop talking, Elsa," she pleaded, though her head leaned into my touch slightly. "I… I just got you back, I can't lose you again!"

"Y-you'll be okay," I told her with my best attempt at a smile. I was gradually growing weaker, though, and I could feel my consciousness constantly threatening to slip. I could vaguely make out Abbie saying something, but my eyes and ears were locked on Anna. I became aware of the blood that was coating her front as she hugged me. "Oh, no… Y-your uniform is all r-ruined… I-I'm s-sorry…"

"Just shut up, Elsa!" she cried. "You have to… You have to stop talking…"

"Why?"

She gave a small sob and held me even closer to her, which resulted in her putting more pressure on my wound. It didn't feel like I thought it would. The pain wasn't sharp – rather, it burned. It burned like a thousand hells trying to break out of my chest.

"You have to save your energy… Please, stop talking for me… Just… Just try to stay conscious… Stay with me, Elsa…"

I moved my head slightly, trying to take in everything around me. Abbie was still talking fervently into a phone, though I had a feeling she wasn't talking to the police anymore. Was that my phone being held up to her ear? I strained to be able to see, but my vision was growing blurry, and the only concrete thing I could focus on was Anna.

It was odd. So often, my mind resembled the sound of nails on a chalkboard, or a fork in a garbage disposal, or a helicopter flying too close to the ground. I didn't get 'quiet moments'. My mind never rested. However, laying here in Anna's lap with a gaping bullet hole in my chest, I found that there was a strange clarity in my mind. A sort of lucidity that was so rare for me. There was no scratching, or buzzing, or whirring. Just a gentle current of thought.

My silence didn't last long as something occurred to me.

"A-Anna," I said to get her attention, which was a moot action since her attention was already fully on me. I heard sirens off in the distance, getting closer, and I tried to swallow past the sandpaper of my throat. My mouth was filled with blood, but it felt like my throat was drier than a desert. "Y-you have… f-flute juries… coming up…" I began, then had to swallow again to get my voice to continue to work. "They're g-gonna be… s-scary… but they… d-don't define… y-you…"

A look of pure confusion crossed her face, and then it was replaced with annoyance. "Elsa, stop!" she pleaded. "You're b-bleeding to death in my arms… My upcoming juries are not important…"

"Th-they are to m-me…" I argued defensively, albeit rather weakly. My hand was still on her face, and I tenderly brushed my thumb over her cheek. "I love you," I whispered. "Don't f-forget that, okay?"

"I l-love you, too… Y-you're not g-going anywhere, Elsa… Just hold on a l-little longer, the ambulance is almost here… C-can't you hear it? Can't you hear it, Elsa?"

I couldn't. Not with the ringing that started up in my ears. I felt her reposition me and then smooth back my bangs with one of her hands, her soft skin feeling nice against the burning in my forehead. My vision was growing steadily fuzzier, and even Anna was beginning to go out of focus as I struggled for consciousness. I was aware of the ceiling lights above us beginning to glow brighter with each passing second.

"I love you," I repeated, and then everything went dark.