The Dress

Lapis' P.O.V.

I don't understand how women back then survived. Five months into this musical, and I'm still not fully adapted. There are two months until the actual show, and I am not going to make it.

"Stop exaggerating, " Blue tells me as she finishes helping me put the dress on. My first dress anyway. I have about another four or five.

"I'm not exaggerating, " I say.

"You are, " she replies.

"You're just saying that because you don't have to change into five different dressed in the entire show!" I say as I try to move around in my first dress.

My first dress isn't as heavy as the other one's, but it is still a dress. Everyone's clothes, no matter their role, are the same color for the opening number. A beige hue. It almost blends in with my skin. The dress is just like my second dress, but the second one is the color of my shoes.

We have choreographed nearly the entire show and we know all the songs. There are still a few people who need to continue to practice and learn their fucking lines! I mean lyrics. The lyrics! Like the learn the fucking song! No one needs to memorize any lines, that's what makes it so easy, so memorize the fucking song!

I'm glad I don't move around much. Yes, I have to move around a little bit, know where I need to be and all that stuff, but at least I don't have to move around as much as the boys and some girls need to. Even if I had to, it would be impossible for me to learn and remember all of that, much less be able to do it in this restraining dress.

Not only do I have to wear a restraining dress, and change into five different ones throughout the show, but I also have to read heels! Thank the gods they are not extremely high. They couldn't be bigger than a thick book if it were laying down on its cover. Well, it depends on how thick it is I guess. The good thing is I only do have one pair of shoes, so I don't have like ten different pairs. Yet I'm still afraid that I'm going to slip and fall on stage in front of everyone.

"Actually, I do, " she says.

"You do?" I ask as I let my hair down and try to comb it with my fingers.

"Yeah, " Blue nods as she finishes getting herself ready.

"Where are my shoes?" I ask.

My shoes are the same color as the second dress. A light shade of blue. Ruby, Sapphire, Blue, Scarlett, and Amethyst took me shopping. It wasn't on my own will. But in the end, they convinced me to get my own shoes instead of getting a pair of shoes from the costume company when I don't know who's worn them. So yeah, the blue high heel shoes are mine.

"Did you bring them in?" she asks me. I think for a moment.

"No, " I say, "I'll text Scarlett to bring them in."

"What makes you think she'll leave her violin to bring you a pair of shoes?" Blue asks me. I ponder on that for a moment. If there is anything I know about Scarlett, is that she is a great friend, a little obnoxious at times though. But her violin and her flute and whatever other instrument she plays, they're like her children, her babies.

I sigh, "Then I guess I'll have to go."

I start to leave as Blue begins to help another girl with her dress. I walk on my socks. During the rehearsals for the choreography, the dance teacher made us take our shoes off and dance and move in our socks.

Everything was embarrassing. Especially in that song, Helpless. It's so cheesy. And I had to sing in it. I will never forget Amethyst's and Blue's faces.

Before leaving the backstage dressing areas, I look around hoping no one who can make fun of me is there. No one is, so I open the door and head to the front row seats. I go to my backpack and get my heeled shoes. After I have them, I rush back into the dressers. I breathe in relief.

I sit down in a chair and take my socks off. The shoes slide in nicely into my feet but I know eventually they will start to hurt. My shoes aren't pointy from the toes, I find pointy shoes weird.

Blue comes towards me. Once I have my socks off and shoes on, she takes my hands and pulls me up. I nearly fall but she keeps me up.

"Angelica!" She sings. Fuck. But I have to. I may not want to, but I do so on instinct.

"Eliza!" I sing as I gather myself and stand straight. I hear heels clink and a girl with a yellowish dress comes running. She grabs our biceps and steps between Blue and me.

"And Peggy!" she sings in that little girl's voice.

Her name is Naomi and she plays the role of Peggy. She is smaller than I am, being a freshman. She has long straight black hair that she has tied into a ponytail. She also wears heels like Blue and me.

"You know what's funny?" Naomi asks us.

"What?" we ask.

"That I am the youngest and Blue is the oldest, and you're in the middle, " she says. Blue and I look at each other.

"I never thought about that, " Blue says.

"Me neither, " I concur.

We hear a knock on the door.

"We need to start soon, " It's Jamie. Blue's ex.

"Let's go, boi!" Amethyst says as she passes through the three of us. She wears men's clothes. Obviously adjusted for a woman to wear.

She opens the door and we follow through. I am behind Blue. She looks at Jamie and Jamie looks at her but he pays her minimal attention. He's no different than he was before. There is some sadness in him, but he seems happy to be free and to not have to worry about having a girlfriend. That Sunday when Blue invited me to the mall, we talked. She bought a lot of clothes and made a lot of unnecessary comments about Jamie and his plays and musicals. She really had a lot to get out. In the end, she ended things with Jamie. Blue said she didn't want to lie to him, and she didn't want to stay in a dead-end relationship where her affections weren't returned. After two weeks or so, she started dating his cousin. But I know she still cares for Jamie.

Most of the boys are already on stage fooling around and breaking legs. The ones that sing backup are dressed in their costumes and I can't help but hold back a laugh. I rub my arms from the nervousness of all of this. I've sung in front of everyone during rehearsals, and stood on this stage before but only now that I and everyone else is in a costume do I realize how close and real this is.

"The Sch-Schuyler Sisters!"

We turn to look at Luke who comes towards us while fixing his sleeve. I know I'm dating his brother but I have to admit, he looks hot.

"Mr. Burr, sir, " I say as I put a hand on my chest and bowing my head.

"Burr, you disgust me, " Blue says putting a hand in front between us and him.

"And Peggy!" Naomi sings. We laugh.

"Pst!" Peridot comes up from behind Luke and we all turn to look at him.

"You girls want to see something?" he whispers. Blue and Naomi shake their heads but he ignores them. He then moves aside revealing Amethyst in her boy's costume.

"My son!" he says so proudly. Luke and I laugh while Blue shakes her head in disappointment and Naomi raises an eyebrow. It wasn't that funny, but the fact that it's a girl in boys clothes and she is my age makes it funny.

"Yo, " Amethyst says.

"You made that, " Blue tells me. I stop laughing.

"Positions for first song!" Jamie calls out. Before I can go to where I am supposed to, Peridot tales my hand whispers.

"If it makes you feel better, you look nice in the dress, " he says. I blush.

"And you look just as your role, Prince Charming. Young, scrappy, and a tomcat, " I say.

"But in the end, I'm yours, " with that, he leaves.

I'm yours.

The dance teacher and the chorus teacher sit in the audience. The music teacher is stands in the middle of the two sections of seats divided by the walkway. He holds a baton. Baton is a fancy word for counting stick. At least in my opinion. The dance teacher stands up.

"This is the first dress rehearsal, so it's okay if you make a mistake or two do to your wardrobe, but you have to know what you're doing. Okay?" she says. People nod but no one says anything as we all rush to our positions. I go to the right backstage which is where I will be coming out when I sing my first part.

Even though the song is called Alexander Hamilton and the musical is called Hamilton, Luke, or Aaron Burr, starts it.

Luke stands in the middle of the stage as the conductor(music teacher) waves his stick, cueing in ensemble to start the song. Luke begins after the orchestra and band. After Luke finishes, Amethyst goes on stage and crosses the stage slowly as she sings, when she finishes, she stands to Luke's right, behind him. Then Sapphire goes up and stands to the left, behind Luke when she sings. Ruby then emerges and stands behind Sapphire.

Then a series of complicated things happen, and before I know it, Peridot appears on stage. But before he finishes, one of the ensemble dancers pulls a chair out. Once Prince Charming is done, it's my turn. I come out from backstage for my turn.

Peridot sits on the chair as I walk slowly, singing my part. I put a hand on Peridot's shoulder and sing. When my part is over and everyone whispers about his mother's death, I put my hands in both his ears and as if to stop him from listening.

Once that is done, I disappear backstage once again as everyone else takes their turn for their parts. I can't believe I managed to do that without making some catastrophic mistake that would get me annihilated by all these theatre and band geeks. I have a list of names of people here who will always find some way to correct me. I don't even know how they do it. Everything I do is wrong to them. Like, the fuck? I don't see their names in any of the lead roles. I'm a newbie and I am a lead. But I don't say that.

The song ends with all of us Hamilton's name. Almost immediately, the next song starts. All of us who aren't in this first part, which is practically everyone, get off the stage. Blue, Amethyst, Sapphire, Ruby, Naomi, and I go backstage to change. Amethyst, Sapphire, and Ruby only change from their brown coats to their blue coats showing their devotion to America and not the British Empire's rule. Blue, Naomi, and I hurry to change into our next dress. It takes me longer than it does them. My dress is a light blue whereas Blue's is a pink hue and Naomi's is yellowish.

I almost have a heart attack when I realize how tight the dress is. I've gained a couple of pounds since the day I was measured in for costumes. The previous dress was a little more my size than this one. Though it was still a little tight, I really only attributed it towards me not liking it and it being a huge princess dress that I was not content in wearing.

"It's tight, " I say.

"It happens. It's been a few months. Sapphire or Ruby can probably adjust it, " Blue tells me.

"I'll ask them later, " I respond. For now, I have to put aside dignity, suck up my pride and walk like a penguin that's trying to hold in a fart.

The heels aren't as bad as I thought they would be. Of course I put them on before, but not for a long time. Sapphire and Ruby told me these were perfect for me because they wouldn't leave any wounds and even though they were heels, they wouldn't tire me because they were very comfortable. I hate admitting that they were right. But I mean, as long as they can't read my thoughts and know that I'm giving them credit for being right, it's all fine.

Blue, Naomi, and me come out for our short appearance in the third song I think it is. I honestly don't keep track. I just make an educated guess and pray Jamie doesn't kill me. My mind mostly focuses on what everyone else is doing and makes decisions based on that.

After our appearance and disappearance in the song, Jamie stops everyone at the end of the song. He does it only to review some of the choreography and singing at the conclusion of the song. After My Shot is The Story of Tonight. It's practically only Peridot, Sapphire, Ruby, and Amethyst. There is an appearance of Sapphire, or Lafayette, helping an apparently drunken man out of the bar while the other guys sit around a fire or something like that. They sing and toast and drink and whatever. We still don't have actual cups. Most things like chairs and the tablets of wood, are school property. The wooden tablets, are our makeshift tables even though they don't have legs. The dancers who sing backup will be holding it up for my pretend husband. If course, we're going to be getting an actual desk for scenes like in Take A Break.

I have not mentioned that he looks really cute with that American revolutionary outfit. I won't tell him, he already thinks so highly of himself, I won't feed his ego. He looks more like a princess than a revolutionary with that blond princess hair of his. Luke looks more of a soldier, but I guess that's just my opinion. If I try really really hard, I can actually picture Prince Charming going to battle. It's funny because it's not true, it's only pretend. Yet I know that if America ever went to war and drafts we're brought back, I would be destroyed if he was drafted.

Wouldn't that be something? If life brought us together only to break us apart once again. Life is very cruel in how it works. It did that once to us, would it be too cruel to do it again? Whether it be in a war, or due to something else, a separation would be too much for me. And no one would know. No one but my dad and Jane. Maybe Luke and Blue know too, but that's not important. I would break in silence. No, thinking it through, I'd probably catch up with him if women also begin to be drafted due to the equality rights thing once I turn eighteen. I'd probably shit my pants.

I push all these thoughts away and focus on the task at hand when it's The Schuyler Sister's turn. Luke and all the other dancers in this won't are already onstage dancing while Luke sings. He is a lot better at singing than he is at talking though he always does manage to strike up a very interesting conversation from nothing. Luke would make a very interesting and funny brother in law.

I smile at myself as Blue Naomi and I ready ourselves. When Luke begins to speak of us, we go out in the order in which he mentions us. First, Naomi, then Blue, and lastly, me. Once he is done singing, he leaves the center stage to make way for us as we have rehearsed so many times.

It is very hard for me to move, but I try my best. I can say that my best is something decent.

We sing and dance. Blue is amazing. When she has to sing by herself, she sings beautifully with so much sass.

We dance and sing. I actually have fun even though I sweat like crazy. My half ponytail moves around like crazy as I dance around in my blue heeled shoes and my long blue dress. The sleeves reach my elbows with white lace stretching an extra inch or two. Even though I don't really like dresses, I really like this one. It's not completely exaggerated. And it's just like the dresses I wanted when I was a kid, except I'm a teenager now.

The song ends on a happy note as Blue, Naomi, and I make our exit after the final. The Schuyler Sisters is one of my favorite songs because it makes you move and it's so cheerful and all that's stuff. I have other favorite songs, The Schuyler Sisters definitely makes the top ten out of the forty-six or something songs that are in this musical.

After our song is Farmer Refuted in which my future husband refutes a farmer loyalist. I love the puppy eyes and long lashes taunting look he gives the farmer when he asks if King George III of Great Britain is in Jersey. I only get to see part of the song because I also have to change into yet another dress for my next appearance which is in Winter's Ball. I appear in three songs, straight in a row. If I am already exhausted, I wonder how Sapphire, Ruby, Amethyst, or Peridot must be holding out.

I hate to have to miss Steven's big song in You'll Be Back. It's right after Farmer Refuted. I can barely hear him from backstage. I only finish putting my new dress on after like three songs. Blue does so in around a song and a half. So does Naomi. I am the slowest of us. Sapphire, Ruby, and Amethyst come backstage briefly to put on their new blue coats, leaving their brown ones. The change in coats represents them joining the army to fight Great Britain in the rebellion. It started in 1776 and ended in 1781.

Being in a musical is more fun than I expected it to be. To be honest, it's probably only because my friends and my boyfriend are in it, and it's a historical musical. I love history. It's practically my best subject. History is the only subject in which I don't need to copy off of Peridot. I know a lot about American History and wars, that's why every time someone asks about a historical event in the musical, I am happy to explain. History is one of the only things I'm good at. All I have to do is memorize dates, names, events, and numbers. I've had a lot of free time these last seven years, I've watched historical shows including Turn: Washington's spies, The Crown, The Tudors, and many other historical shows and documentaries on TV and YouTube. Believe it or not, history is very interesting. When you know a lot about something that can relate to that moment, and you know it well, you can easily shut people up.

I finish putting my dress on in time to see the end of Right Hand Man. It's a cool song. Once it ends. There is silence for a few brief seconds before the music starts up again and girls in dresses and boys in coats, including my friends, go on stage and dance as they rehearsed. Blue, Naomi, and I stand ready for our turn.

Luke narrates the song as he does many others. Peridot joins his brother/frenemy in the middle and bets that he can get any of the three Schuyler sisters. If he weren't my boyfriend and I didn't know he was a virgin saint, I'd yell to the entire world that he was a tomcat and womanizer. Unlike me, he hasn't been stripped of his innocence.

As far as word innocence can go for Prince Charming.

Helpless starts immediately after Winter's Ball. As there are already girls dancing around the stage in a circle, I walk to the middle holding a sheet of paper that is meant to be a letter. I begin to sign my I do's. I put on that naive lovey-dovey face every cliche girl in every cliche movie puts on.

Eliza-

Boy, you've got me helpless!

I sing and sing, ignoring the fact that I am sweating my insides out. Only when I rehearse on stage with an actual dress and heels do I realize that dancing and singing are not a good combination. At least I don't think so. The rest of these people are crazy. I think I'm the only one with my head screwed on right.

Eliza-

We were at a revel with some rebels on a hot night

As soon as I sing rebels, the guys come on stage and join their partner. Amongst the men are Amethyst, Sapphire, and Ruby. They all dance around me as I sing. One girl dances across the stage and takes the paper in my hands and dances back offstage. Peridot comes on stage with Luke at my right as I move to my left. Blue comes towards me in a fashionable way.

I continue to sing before Blue tales her cue and turns to go to Peridot. She takes him by the arm and they start a nonexistent conversation as I finish my part. Then after I am done, Peridot and Blue come over to me as Blue presents me as Elizabeth Schuyler, her sister.

"Schuyler?" he asks.

"My sister, " Blue says.

Then Prince Charming does his usual signature thing as he takes my hand and places a kiss on my hand. It still flusters me how he always does this in front of everyone without hesitation. He always winks at me when he does so. Since it is an instinct, I always have the urge to pull away before my better judgment stops me from doing something even more embarrassing.

"If there had to be war for us to meet, it would have been worth it, " he says in with his sly smile and hushed breath yet everyone can still hear him.

"I'll leave you to it, " Blue says. Then as soon as they get their cue, everyone gets up and leaves as rehearsed so they all don't look like a herd of cows. I head to the middle of the stage.

Eliza-

One week later I'm writtin' a letter nightly

As I sing Naomi and Blue emerge from opposite sides of the stage. Both of them hold a letter each. They come to me and give me the letters.

Eliza-

Now my luck gets better every letter that you write me!

I hold the letters to my heart and spin in a circle as the dance teacher told me to. Like a little cliche sickly in love girl. I don't know how she accepted to marry this guy after barely knowing him a month. Like who the fuck does that?

Eliza-

Two weeks later in the living room stressin'

One of the girls that were dancing takes the letters I am holding as we Naomi ready for the next scene. Naomi, Blue, and I have to sit on the floor for that because we still don't have a bench. I feel terribly constricted. Not only do I have to deal with a tight dress, but now I am also singing on heels while sitting on the dirty floor. I hope there aren't any loose boards or anything that could make me trip on these heels or rip the dress.

Then, my 'father' shakes Peridot's hand as I sing and Naomi and Blue get up. They each take one of my hands and help me up as rehearsed and I spin around and later hug both of them as Peridot does a shitty victory dance. As the other guy and Peridot toast for our pretend marriage, I go downstage, nearly at the apron. I put a hand on my chest as I try my best to sing without cracking my voice when I go to my high notes. I extend my arms out in the end which us something very awkward so I hesitate a little. But once my arms extended, Peridot tales my right hand. Once I finish he pulls me back until we are facing each other. I still find it very uncomfortable to stand in front of each other and this close in public.

My hands are in his as he looks at me, singing about his promises to give me a good life, promising a great future and never-ending love. Yeah, we all know how that turned. Fucking Hamilton cheated on his dear Betsey with the first lying slut that threw himself at him. Peridot may be playing that role, but he is not like that. He kissed a girl once, but we talked it out. I gave in a little bit, but it's fine.

When he says that Angelica tried to take a bite of him I turn as if to go look for her, but he holds my hands. I once he is done, I begin to sing again. Then a series of complicated things that I can't describe but only perform with my feet happens. There is a box, and I out blank sheets of paper inside the box. After that, one of the girls from my ensemble takes it backstage. Blue puts an invisible veil and crown on me while Naomi hands me another invisible object, this time, a bouquet of flowers. Guess what! I'm getting fake married for like the millionth time in the span of the last five months.

Then while the leads, including me, go, backstage while everyone else separates into two sections onstage. Peridot and a couple of leads don't go back. Steven, Luke, and other leads don't go back either because they aren't in this scene or because they are already on stage. Peridot, for example, is waiting downstage. They leave a space in the middle and the downstage unoccupied. Then pass my bridesmaids with the grooms' men which is quite an odd combination. First is Blue along with Sapphire, then Naomi with Amethyst, and lastly is Ruby as the flower girl. Or guy should I say. She throws invisible petals from an invisible wicker basket on to the floor while having an annoyed face on. The face is a good one because she really begged Jamie not to be a flower girl. Of course, Jamie went into the one and only drama zone. And what happened to Ruby? She got stuck as the flower man.

Last is my 'pretend father' who's real name I don't actually know. I think it's Marc. But it may also be Samuel. I'm too embarrassed to ask. Like the others, my arm is hooked around him as he leads me through the middle and Peridot tales my hand in front.

As my personal ensemble of girls sings their part softly, I awkwardly hug Prince Charming in front of everyone because I made a huge deal about kissing him in front of everyone. I realize that the heels, even though they are lower than Blue's and Naomi's, I am still taller than I was before. Which means that if my eye level was at Peridot's throat, now, it's at his chin. It's not much, but it's something. A brief moment into our hug and I sing my last helpless in this scene. There is one last note before everyone rushes calmly to their next positions.

Everyone holds an invisible plastic wine cup because we are supposed to be toasting to my marriage. Amethyst walks to center stage and acts like she's drunk, which probably takes her no effort at all, as she introduces the maid of honor.

Laurence-

Angelica Schuyler!

Blue comes to center stage while Amethyst backs away. She raises her invisible cup as she has so many times practiced.

Angelica-

A toast to the groom!

We all echo her after she sings.

Angelica-

To the bride!

We echo her once again as Peridot's guy ensemble sings that viva la revolución part. I don't why its there. We are supposed to be celebrating my marriage, not the revolution. Like, who the fuck invited the rebellion to my wedding registration! Take your revolution somewhere where I am not getting fake married.

Then when the rewind part starts we all have to do some confusing shit. I honestly don't know how I remember. To be honest, I don't remember anything. I just go with the flow and ace it.

I don't know how Blue does it. She is so, so...calculated I guess you could say. Blue's voice is so loud and clear when she sings. She is able to keep up with everything, know every step and sing and act without hesitating once. Her role fits her so well too. It's like it was made for her.

Mine was definitely not made for me. My role is of a girl who is one of those girls who can beat the shit out of you if she wanted, but when she doesn't want to, she is just kind and let it go and all that stuff. Not me. I don't marry a guy I met once and then just charmed me with a bunch of letters. I would actually like to read these letters that Hamilton sent to Eliza. I am genuinely curious.

I wait for my cue when I go to Blue in the same place where we were during Helpless. It's, what Scarlett calls, a Call and Response. I think that's what she says it is.

Then she walks away from me and towards Peridot. Everyone excluding them two but including me freezes. I have my back to them as I kind of freak out. I literally do the same thing I did in the last song without the singing.

It's as if you were reading a book. Except that when you finish reading a chapter about an event from first person point of view, you one see one perspective. You have to read about the same thing but from a different perspective. Because the same thing can be different to different people. Well, that is what is happening in these two songs. First, you see it from my role's perspective and then from someone else's perspective. It's painful to see the same thing again, but refreshing if it's completely different.

And thank Lin Manuel Miranda that Helpless and Satisfied are completely different or else I'd be dead with boredom. More than I already am anyway.

Blue hooks her arm around Peridot, though I only know because I've seen them do it during other rehearsals. I have my back to literally everyone. She says she's about to change his life, and I have to hold in my life because it's so ironic how this immigrant, tomcat, camp-de-aide to George Washington, so happened to 'fall in love' with the daughter or a rich American general.

I honestly have my doubts about this guy. Did he really love her? What am I saying? Of course, he didn't love her! Isn't it a really weird coincidence that this guy is poor and a fucking tomcat and then appears the rich American General Phillip Schuyler and suddenly he is head over heels for his daughter? This guy even cheats on her with a fucking whore. Maria Lewis Reynolds even had a daughter! So many signs.

I wonder if Elizabeth Schuyler's dad said anything about that? If I were Phillip Schuyler I would definitely have my doubts. Once this guy died in 1804, he left his family in debt, so I guess he didn't really get any money from his father-in-law. Still though, wouldn't he be questioned?

That's just what my dad did and I kind of got mad at him for insinuating things about Peridot. What made it worse was what he insinuated.

Then stuff happens. All of the girls in dresses and guys in coats stay to the stage's right while Blue stands at the stage's left all alone whole all the way to the left, Peridot stands frozen facing me while I also stare at him frozen. I look away because it's weird. The girls and guy at the right face each other and dance right along with Blue's singing.

Blue breaks away from her singing trance and stands to Peridot's side but a little behind for profiling.

"Schuyler?" Peridot asks Blue. Obviously, this Hamilton guy was a gold-digger. He even asked Schuyler. Why would that matter?

"My sister, " Blue says.

Then she turns back to the audience and sings while the girls in dresses face their guys and freeze. The girls in dresses are my ensemble, and the guys in coats are Peridot's. In this situation, I guess you can say they're his wingmen.

Peridot's guy ensemble leaves my frozen ensemble and come to Peridot. Two guys get in front of him and the rest get in the back. I think maybe they're six in total. One might be absent, I don't really pay attention.

They do some weird shit where Peridot's head is towards Blue. They surround him and do a real shitty but complicated thing. The two guys that were in from now kneel beside Peridot while the others stand. Blue extends her arm to me as I try to look as innocent as I can. The other guys crouch behind Peridot while the other two kneel beside him while he stands. They all point to me and the two kneeling guys turn Peridot's face to me.

Now Peridot and I stand facing each other as Blue finishes up her singing.

"Thank you, for all your service, " I say innocently.

"If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it would have been worth it, " Peridot says as he takes my hand and places a kiss on it. I really want to pull away because there are so many people, but I don't, because there are so many people.

Very ironic actually.

"I'll leave you to it, " Blue says proudly.

I turn around while holding my left hand out to Peridot. He takes it. Both of us leave Blue's side. I take the skirts of my dress and head to the middle of the stage.

All the boys including Peridot disappear backstage as the girls spread, making a semi-circle on the stage around us. I look at the blank letters that Naomi hands me as I did in the last song. Blue stands between both of us and then takes the letters from my hands while she sings, stares at me, and walks back.

Angelica-

But when I fantasize at night it's Alexander's eyes.

To her left, I stand facing Naomi. I hold the letters in my hand that one of my ensemble girls took from Blue's hand when she put it behind her while she was walking backward. Naomi holds the box toward me as I put the letters inside like in the last song.

During the small pause of silence, when the music starts again, Blue sings and everyone dances slowly to their original spots from the beginning of the spots. A guy hands Blue an invisible plastic cup and she raises it as everyone else does too.

She sings as everyone changes their places. I hug Naomi and then Blue while she sings. Peridot hugs both of them after I do as I begin to walk offstage. He follows after me while Blue finishes her song.

The song that follows up is perhaps one of my favorite ones just because of how funny it is.

The reprise of The Story of Tonight is in my top five favorite songs from Hamilton. It's saying a lot, because although I'm not a theatre nerd, I love nearly every song.

The reason I like this song so much is honestly because Hamilton's friends are drunk as fuck and that tiny little dance the dance teacher has the girls do in their boy costumes is absolutely priceless. And I can't forget about my boyfriend, can I? I know he's trying hard not to laugh at the scene. Ruby starts fake crying, Sapphire says Peridot has lost all his rights of freedom, and Amethyst says that if the tomcat can get hitched to a beautifully filthy rich girl, why can't her ass do that good? As John Laurence, I like Amethyst, but as Amethyst, she is pretty gross and rude at times.

What's there not to love about this song?

Then it is Wait For It. Instead of Luke standing in the middle doing nothing at all but singing, like in the musical, we actually do stuff.

Four people, representing his family I guess, stand around him, facing him. Peridot plays a big part in the song, just appearing and making Luke, or Luke's role, jealous. I appear very briefly with my invisible veil and bouquet.

For Stay Alive, while everything is going on in the background, I walk the downstage part of the stage from the stage left to the right with a letter in my hands and stop briefly in the middle to look back from where I walked. I sing my stay alive part as I look out to the invisible audience for a brief second. Then, I look back at the letter and continue to walk to the stage right as I sing my stay alive part once more.

Then Peridot who sits in the ground goes back to his usual singing while writing while being in the middle of a massacre as the people who play the redcoats swarm around him as if it were a battlefield.

Thankfully I am not changing for my next song. I was supposed to be wearing a dress that makes me look pregnant. But isn't God so gracious that he spared me such humiliation?

I swear that if I didn't pray before, I'll start doing so after this whole Hamilton musical experience.

My next song is That Would Be Enough. In this song, Peridot finds out I'm pregnant. Well, this Hamilton guy finding out his wife is pregnant. I'm still half a virgin you could say.

Even if I don't have the big bump on my dress, it is still very embarrassing to play the 'devoted wife'. It doesn't suit me. The devoted husband doesn't suit Prince Charming either. The role of annoying boyfriend suits him better.

It's mostly me doing all of the singing. Who am I kidding? Peridot sang like three things. I sang the entire song.

And just as the guy comes back from war, he's ru

shing to go back. Is having a wife and an unborn child that draining that you're dying to go to war? If being at war was just singing and dancing to music like in this musical, sign me up. It wouldn't be so hard but people would dread it more.

Guess what? We win the fucking war two songs later! Isn't that something? A lot of people appear in the song. Including me in the middle and in the end. After we win the war, Steven brings us a beautiful little tune as King George III. I think Steven would make a good king. Only not as King George because we all know what happened to that guy. He eventually went mad and was taken to the hospital in a straitjacket never to be seen again. You can't like the guy because he taxed our lovely tea that we all so much love to spill, but you can feel a little bad for him. Because of inbreeding, he died without knowing who he was. At least we know why the fully armed battalion was included in the song.

Apart from that, Steven fucking nails the song. He would make a really good king, he has that charisma and aura.

Peridot and Luke have a duet in Dear Theodosia. It's a really nice song about fatherly love. This song is one of the favorites too. The Diamond brothers would make good fathers if we were only counting this song and no other. If we were counting the other songs, let's see, Hamilton was a bloodthirsty war veteran, he was a workaholic, and he got his son killed. And Burr was a guy who's jealousy drove him to kill his once friend turned enemy because he didn't want to make an orphan of his twenty-two-year-old married daughter.

Frenemies, am I right? You just gotta love them.

After my next song is Non-Stop. It's the last song of Act I so after it we get a break which I so look forward too. Non-Stop is one of the longest songs in my opinion just because of everything that goes on in about five minutes. It's interesting how Lin Manuel Miranda was able to put many different things that probably happened over the course of many years and put it into a five minute up beating that has some sad stuff in it. It's catchy and upbeat. It's also the last song of Act I and I am sweating like crazy.

After Peridot does his signature pose and the song is done, I finally breathe calmly. As the dance teacher addresses us, I try to stretch because this dress is tight. Thank goodness, I only have like two different dresses a d two different cloaks in the next Act. Once the dance teacher is done addressing us, the music teacher starts addressing the orchestra and the band, or as the music nerds down there call it, the orchestra pit. It takes him like two minutes to address the orchestra pit and ten to address us. Like what the fuck? Does it look like I'm holding an instrument to know what the fuck a vamp is? I mean, I do know what it is. Spend enough time with Luke and Scarlett when they're on full music geek mode and you learn some shit.

After that boring musical lecture to which I blacked out thirty seconds in, we finally get our break.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom!" Naomi tells us as she picks up the skirts if her dress and runs off Cinderella-style.

"The sad thing is she doesn't appear in the second act, " Prince Charming appears behind me.

"I'll leave you two alone, " Blue says with that sly smile.

"You're sweating?" he asks.

"How'd you know?" I ask sarcastically.

"Because all I have to do is poke your cheek and I'm wet, " he does as he speaks.

"Would you like trying to move in a tight dress, in heels, and with long hair?" I ask him, "I'll gladly switch with you."

"Ask Ruby and Sapphire to fix it, " he suggests.

"Blue said that. I'll ask them later, " I tell him, "Hey don't you have to change?"

"Yeah, " he says so casually.

"Than why are you not changing?" I ask

"The same reason you're not changing, " he says.

"Because I'll die if I put on another tight dress?" I ask him with my lips pressed together and my hands cupped into one another. He raises an eyebrow.

"No. Because I want a small good luck peck for Act II, " he says so casually. I do the natural thing: I hit his head. That was probably a bad idea because I just killed off some of his neurons, and he can't afford to lose a single one.

"No," I say.

"You didn't have to hit me, " he says, "A no would have been fine."

I put my hands on my hips, "When do you ever stop at no?"

He nods, "You're not wrong."

"I know right?" I say in such a sarcastic way that I feel I've just won a tony award for sarcasm.

Most people go to the bathroom or backstage to change and whatever it is people do backstage when their not changing. A lot of the instrumentalists get up and stretch. Scarlett brings herself over the stage from the Pit, letting her legs dangle. She talks with Luke.

"Why don't you let your hair loose more often?" he asks me.

"Because it's a fucking nuisance," I say, "You try having long and thick hair."

"Rapunzel did just fine, Lazuli, " he tells me.

"Prince Henry was more charming, Peridot, " I retort back.

"Mais tu m'aimes toujours, Lazuli. Vous ne l'admettez pas, mais vous me voulez, " he says as he puts a hand on my waist and pulls me close.

I'm too shocked to respond. What the fucking shit did this guy just say? Why the french? Why? Why not Spanish? And slowly.

Just why?

"Non! Sssi elle sera ma belle-sœur, vous devez le f-faire correctement et vous marier en premier!" Luke interrupts as he sits on the floor with Scarlett just staring at him with that face that says, the fucking shit?

Peridot let's go of me before continuing to argue in French with his brother, "Mon petit frère, tu es trop vieille école."

Like makes an exaggerated gasping gesture, "Tu...n'es pas mon frère!"

Peridot laughs while Scarlett and I stare in surprise and horror.

"Calmez-vous. Bien sûr, je vais le faire correctement. Mais je vais garder ma mauvaise séquence et m'enfuir avec elle, " Peridot tells Luke.

"Vrai-vraiment?" Luke asks. Prince Charming nods at whatever it is Luke said.

"I swear if you two start speaking greek I'm out, " Scarlett says.

"Εννοείς αυτο?" Peridot asks with a sly smile.

"I can't even, " Scarlett says as she slides back into the Pit.

"Adios, " I say in Spanish as I head backstage.

"Wait, " Peridot hurries after me, "Mon amour."

"I fucking told you, not here, " I whisper.

"No one's gotta know, " he says.

"Peridot, " I warn.

"Fine. But you owe me after rehearsals, " he says.

"How about I just don't kill you?" I ask.

"That one's not much fun, " he says.

"Fuck you, " I say as I enter backstage, careful not to open the door too wide as girls change.

I change into my new dress just as Act II is starting. Luke starts What'd I Miss and the beginning of that is absolutely amazing. He accidentally stutters with a word, but he manages to make it.

The rest of the show is a blur of burns, both in conversation and in invisible buckets. My feet start to hurt and my movements become more constricted. My cloak for Best of Wives and Best of Women is beautiful. I love it. The one I have to wear when I'm mourning my son, aka. Amethyst, not so much. It's not uncomfortable, but I don't like it.

I hadn't realized that the words I was singing when he dies aren't gibberish and are actually numbers in French. At least I know how to count to ten in French. Isn't that a lifesaver? When I need help I'll just say nine one one but in French! Now if I could just find a show where they say the numbers in Greek. That would be something. Sadly, I don't think they speak Greek in The Lightning Thief: A Percy Jackson Musical.

When we get to the last song, I am so fucking happy. It's mostly singing with everyone else backing me up. My singing is so touching, I nearly cry myself.

When I stand right in front of the Pit, facing the invisible audience, I almost start crying from happiness that it is over and I can take all these torture devices off. The dance, chorus, and music teacher congratulate us and give us a small sermon before letting us go.

The musicians pack up their instruments while us actors get into our normal clothes and shoes. My feet ache but rejoices when I put my comfortable white cotton socks back on. My sneakers feel like heaven and my clothes feels so fresh against my sweaty skin.

I say my goodbyes to everyone after I ask Sapphire and Ruby if they can somehow fix my dresses since everyone says they can.

Scarlett stands in the third row of the seats where her backpack is located. She opens her black soft violin case and put the violin and the stick called, the bow, inside. Though you can't actually shoot arrows with it. Amethyst told me that. She said not to try it around Scarlett.

I put my heels back into my backpack as I close my backpack and throw it on. Peridot and I made a thing where we wait for each other outside. If there are a lot of people outside, we simple walk after the other comes out. It certainly helps that I don't live far.

Since there aren't any people outside when I come out, I decide to just wait for Peridot while I look through my phone a while.


Hey! How's everyone! Guess what? School has been out for a little less than a month, and I don't think we'll be going back anytime soon.

If you don't know why, with all due respect, have you been living under a rock?

The COVID-19 is serious. I'm not telling anyone to panic, just be cautious. Wash hands, wear masks, practice social distancing. SOCIAL DISTANCING!!

To all you extroverts, may the odds be ever in your favor. To all you introverts like moi, this is just what we've trained for.

Please stay safe, coronavirus isn't a joke, trust me, if you haven't had it yourself or someone you know whether closely or not hasn't had it, you will.

Try to stay positive. Hope you all stay safe, healthy, and hope you all have a wonderful night/day!