Summary:

The long awaited Epilogue to my Mishaps & Misfortune story arc!


Cocktails & Cheese

Cullen and Alistair - A Modern Day AU

Chapter 59

Mishaps & Misfortune - Part 16 - Epilogue

Aka - Gratuitous Sex Chapter


Cullen and Alistair whispered to each other in the corner of the room, never losing at least some point of contact between them: shoulders pressed together, fingers intertwined, soft presses of their lips when they thought no one was looking. After one such kiss, Leliana appeared, startling both of them.

"Maker, Leli. I'm going to have to put a bell on you! Warn a guy next time," Alistair admonished.

With a devious grin, she indicated the nearly empty room. "I just thought you might like permission to head upstairs where you can truly be alone. Everyone has either gone to their room or gone home."

Alistair and Cullen looked around the room a bit startled.

"I'm so sorry, Leli, I just didn't-" Alistair began.

"No, don't apologize. There's nothing to worry about. Everyone understands, and no one holds it against you. We were actually taking bets to see how long the two of you would last before you became oblivious to the rest of us. You did better than most of us thought."

Cullen sputtered, "Y-you were taking bets? On how long we would- Maker's breath!" Rubbing the back of his neck, he buried his face in Alistair's shoulder.

Alistair chuckled, wrapping his arms around Cullen. "So… who won? No, don't tell me… It was, Lana."

"Actually… it was Bull," she said, grinning. "It would be unfair if my Lana were allowed to participate, no? She would have quite the advantage."

"And how did you bet in all this?" Cullen asked.

Leliana giggled. "Oh… Dorian and I came in last. We gave you less than an hour before you either ravished each other in front of everyone or slipped away when we weren't looking."

Alistair rolled his eyes. "Glad to see you have such faith in us."

Cullen smiled. "Well, it is a fair point; we have been a little distracted." He leaned in and whispered in Alistair's ear, "And it's not like we didn't discuss both of those options."

Alistair blushed.

"Aww, it is so sweet to see the way you still make each other blush." Leliana teased. "It warms my heart."

"As if you and Lana aren't just as bad," Alistair taunted back.

"'Tis true, and you will never see me complain," she grinned, setting the last of the cups into the sink. "We will take care of the rest of this tomorrow, don't worry your pretty little heads about it. For now, it's time we all headed upstairs."

Alistair nodded and held out one elbow to Leliana. "May we escort you up to your floor?" he asked.

With a grin, she threaded one arm through Alistair's and the other through Cullen's. "But of course. Shall we?"

With a final look around the room, they headed up the stairs. When they reached the third floor landing, Lana was waiting for them. "Finally managed to break through their little bubble of happiness?" she asked Leliana.

Leliana grinned, kissing first Alistair then Cullen on the cheek before answering, "Oui, cheri. I did not want to find them naked on the sofa come morning." She ran her fingers through Lana's hair on her way by. "Do not take too long; I will be waiting for you inside." With a last wave of her fingers, Leliana slipped into their apartment.

Lana approached and wrapped her arms around them. "Stop it," she said before either of them could utter an apology. "Neither one of you have done anything wrong. All of us are happy to see you up and around again." She looked pointedly at Cullen, then switched her gaze to Alistair. "And to see you not moping around either." Her face softened. "You both have been through so much. You deserve this happiness." She reached up and touched each of them on the cheek. "Now get out of here; you're not the only one who wants to spend time with their significant other." She grinned wickedly, closing the door behind her.

Alistair looked down at his feet, suddenly bashful. "We don't have to, you know."

"What don't we have to do?" Cullen asked.

"What everyone is expecting us to do. I would be perfectly happy just holding you in our bed — especially knowing that we aren't going to be walked in on every time I slide my hand up your shirt."

"You did find my hospital gown a bit too... convenient."

"It was the easiest access of any easy access you've ever had around me." Alistair smiled. "But my point still stands. I love you, but I almost lost you. All I need right now is to know that you're home safe next to me."

Cullen cupped Alistair's cheek and pulled him in for a lingering kiss. "Lana completely healed me, there's not so much as a bruise left anywhere," he reassured Alistair. "Honestly, I feel better than I have felt in months. Why don't we head upstairs and shower the hospital off of us, then let me show you exactly how alive I really am?" He leaned in for an even deeper kiss, which left Alistair breathing heavily. "I… almost lost you too, before I was attacked, and I can never take back the things I said." He placed a finger over Alistair's lips to prevent the protest. "I know all has been forgiven, but I still feel bad and would love nothing more than to worship you tonight; to show you how much I love you and to make you a promise that I will never take you — or us — for granted again."

Alistair nodded slowly; eyes misty with emotion. He pulled Cullen into a tight hug and managed the single word, "okay," before they made their way upstairs.


They took their time in the shower, re-memorizing the slippery feel of each other's bodies under the hot water. Alistair made sure to confirm that Cullen was, in fact, completely healed; every broken bone, every scrape, bruise, blemish on his otherwise perfect skin returned to its pre-attacked glory.

Cullen humored the needless — but not unwelcome — attention. He didn't blame Alistair in the least. Were their positions reversed, Cullen was sure he'd be doing the same. And honestly? Alistair's touches felt fucking amazing, so who was he to complain?

Once Alistair's inspection was completed to his satisfaction, Cullen was left panting and desperate for more. Alistair, it seemed, was out to torture him tonight. When he went to return the favor, Alistair simply rinsed them off with a step back and a smirk, then instructed Cullen to take his time drying off; that he needed to fetch something for them in the kitchen.

Alistair disappeared through the bathroom door, leaving Cullen staring after him with a bemused expression. If there was one thing that Alistair was good at, it was keeping Cullen guessing. After towel drying his hair, leaving his curls to do what they would, Cullen took an extra few minutes to inspect himself in the mirror. Lana was truly a miracle worker; there was no evidence left that a short while ago, he was found broken and unconscious. He probably shouldn't have survived. But through the love of his friends he was given another chance. Placing his hand over his heart, he closed his eyes and whispered a quiet prayer to Andraste, thanking her for Rylen, Lana, and even Anders' assistance in getting him back on his feet; back to Alistair.

From the other room, Cullen heard, "You're already beautiful; now get your ass out here so we can pick up where we left off!"

Cullen snorted while wrapping his towel loosely around his waist. When he emerged from the bathroom, he paused to take in the sight before him. Alistair lay, completely naked, propped up on pillows, a glass of champagne — complete with strawberry garnish — held casually in one hand while the other hand rested behind his head. The small table next to the bed held another flute of champagne and a small bowl of strawberries with a side of fresh-whipped cream.

"Alistair," Cullen began. "You didn't have to go through all this for me."

Alistair dipped his chin to his chest and sighed. "What you said downstairs, about almost losing me even before you got attacked… I'm right there with you; we both reacted poorly. And I thought… I thought I could take us back to the beginning: to the picnic in the chantry garden. It's a positive place for us to… start again?" He finally looked up, hope written plainly in his features.

Cullen smiled the crooked little smile that he knew Alistair loved so much, then did something that he'd normally never do. He let his towel drop to the floor. He didn't stop to fold it into a neat and tidy rectangle and drape it over the chair. He let it pool in a wet heap and then stalked up to the bed, leaving it where it lay.

"Maker's breath, you're beautiful," Alistair whispered. Reaching a hand out, he curled a finger beckoning him closer.

With a slow smirk, Cullen grabbed his champagne flute and made himself comfortable, laying on his side, facing Alistair. He raised his glass between them and whispered, "To new beginnings and clean slates."

Never breaking eye contact, they clinked their glasses together and took a sip. Cullen couldn't help the slow roll of desire as he watched Alistair's throat work on the swallow. His own glass held aloft, he leaned in and licked a stripe from Alistair's collarbone up to his chin, finally landing on his lips. "Mmm, you are absolutely delicious," he whispered, scooting even closer.

"Something tells me that we're not going to make it to the bowl of fruit sitting over there." Alistair gulped.

Cullen took another sip of his drink then reached behind him to deposit his glass on the small table. When he came back, his finger was coated in whipped cream. "Oh, I don't know," he said, sliding his finger between Alistair's lips and savoring the hot slide of his tongue as his finger was cleaned off. "I'm sure we can find ways to enjoy the little treat you prepared as well as each other."

With a glint in his eye, Cullen reached behind himself again, this time returning with a cream-coated strawberry. Bringing it to Alistair's nipple, he circled it once… twice, then placed the sweet fruit against Alistair's lips. Alistair savored it, licking the juices from his fingers while Cullen licked his own treat from Alistair's chest.

"See?" Cullen said after kissing Alistair. "Definitely not going to waste."

Alistair quickly deposited his empty glass on the nightstand, then cupped Cullen's cheeks, pulling him in for another kiss.

Cullen moaned as their cocks lined up, the light brush of skin against skin was perfect and yet… not nearly enough. Hovering just above Alistair, Cullen asked, "Is this where you want me?"

Alistair smiled, softly. "I want you to be wherever you want to be. But I'm still okay waiting. You've been through so much, I… I don't want to hurt you."

"Sweetheart, you saw for yourself, there's not a mark on me. I appreciate you wanting to be careful and cautious, but what I really want right now… what I really need , is to reconnect with you." Cullen lowered himself down one more time, then spoke directly against Alistair's sensitive ear, "I want to have you inside of me, reminding me that this is real, that you and I are okay, and honestly? I want to fucking feel it for days; I don't want you to be gentle with me. I won't break."

Cullen felt Alistair stiffen at the proximity to his ear, but otherwise he didn't react the way Cullen was expecting. He was still holding back; he was still hesitant.

Alistair cupped Cullen's chin, drawing his eyes out where he could see them. "Haven't you had enough pain lately?" Alistair asked, concerned.

Cullen's eyes softened. "You would never consciously hurt me. You making love to me is a choice I would choose again and again. I know you're capable of soft and gentle, but after having so much taken from me…" Cullen bowed his head, resting it on Alistair's chest. "I haven't felt that powerless in years. And right now, all I really want is to be reminded that it's over — that we can have our happily ever after, that we are stronger despite, and perhaps because of, all the shit that we've been through."

Alistair was quiet. That was never a good thing. Cullen couldn't tell what he was thinking. The small furrow of his brow told Cullen that Alistair was thinking hard about something, but beyond that, he couldn't tell what it was or what the outcome might be. Cullen closed his eyes and began to pull away, dejected. There was still no response from Alistair; perhaps he'd been mistaken after all. He shouldn't have expected to be completely forgiven so quickly or easily.

Suddenly Cullen found himself on his back. "Don't," Alistair said. "Don't do that. Don't withdraw from me." Alistair nipped and bit his way from Cullen's ear, across his jaw, landing in a hard kiss against Cullen's lips.

Cullen slowly blinked his eyes open. Alistair had Cullen's hands pinned firmly above his head, while he held him captivated with a devious smirk. He couldn't help the small smile on his own lips.

"That's better," Alistair whispered, dipping in for a slightly gentler kiss. "I could see the hurt and the doubt on your face and then you were pulling away. We can't do that anymore. We have to talk. We have to… tell each other what we're thinking. Neither one of us is Lana, we can't read minds, we can't read emotions." Alistair sighed. "We have to do better."

"But you were so quiet," Cullen said. "You're rarely quiet. So I… guess I jumped to conclusions. I'm sorry." He wrapped his legs around Alistiar's hips and pulled him down on top of him.

Alistair let himself be pulled in for another kiss. "There's a part of me that's struggling with really wanting to treat you like glass right now. When I was quiet, I was trying to figure out how to accommodate both of our needs tonight. Please believe me when I say that I want you every bit as much as you want me." Alistair ran his hard length against Cullen's for emphasis.

Cullen bucked up, seeking more. He groaned as Alistair kissed his way down his jaw, nipped at his collarbone and eventually ended up at his nipple. "Maker, yes! Please…" he whined greedily as Alistair took his time working his way slowly down his body.

"Compromise, sweetheart," Alistair whispered as he placed gentle kisses interspersed between sharp bites. "Patience," he cooed. "I will give you everything you want and need; I promise you."

When Alistair finally reached Cullen's cock, he thankfully didn't waste any time teasing. Cullen ached from want, need, and desire. He was so hard he was dripping and if he didn't get some relief soon, he was going to take matters into his own hands. He understood what Alistair said, but he couldn't stop the need building inside of him.

Alistair circled Cullen's girth with his long fingers, wrapping around it firmly while he mouthed at the swollen tip. The sweet moans were music to Cullen's ears, but when Alistair suddenly took him deep in his throat, there was no holding his hands above his head any longer. He threaded his fingers into Alistair's hair, grasping the short spikes and thrusting his hips up into Alistair's mouth. "Fuck," Cullen sighed as Alistair swallowed around him, then pulled up with a cheeky chuckle.

Hearing the telltale snap of the lube lid opening, Cullen spread his legs farther, to allow for better access. "Please," he moaned while Alistair slowly teased his opening. Circling, but not penetrating. Cullen tried to push into Alistair's fingers, but every time he did, Alistair pulled away and wouldn't give him what he wanted. Instead of breaching his hole, Alistair moved his hands up to cup Cullen's balls, rolling them gently around in his hands as he continued to devour Cullen's cock with his mouth.

"Damnit, Alistair, please get on with it, I want you inside of me," Cullen begged.

Alistair chuckled and just when Cullen was about to protest, Alistair finally slid a finger inside, quickly turning it and nailing his prostate with precise aim.

"Holy shit!" Cullen exclaimed as he thrust his hips off the bed, then ground down onto Alistair's finger. One soon turned to two and Cullen was in blissful agony. Alistair's fingers felt so fucking good, but he knew they didn't feel nearly as good as his cock. It'd been too long - he wanted, no- needed to feel Alistair on top of him, inside of him.

Tugging on Alistair's hair, Cullen pulled him up into a filthy kiss. "Alistair, if you don't fuck me, I'm going to get out one of our toys and make you watch while I fuck myself on it right the fuck now."

With a few more precision passes over Cullen's prostate, Alistair slowly withdrew his fingers, positioning himself perfectly between Cullen's legs. Before he lined himself up, Alistair paused and caught Cullen's eyes. "Please let me know if anything is uncomfortable."

Cullen's gaze softened. "I'm fine. I promise. I just want you - please? I need this… I need you." He wrapped his legs around Alistair's hips and pulled him flush with his body. "Making love to you will not hurt me."

"I know, but-" Alistair began.

With an exasperated sigh, Cullen pushed at Alistair's chest and started to roll over toward his nightstand where their favorite toys were kept.

"Okay, okay," Alistair said. "I just… you've spent a lot of time hurting lately…"

"I know you." Cullen said reaching down between them slicking up Alistair's cock. "You would never do anything to hurt me," he said as he lined himself up, rubbing Alistair's dick over his sensitive opening. Before Alistair could say anything else, Cullen lifted his hips and slid Alistair in where he belonged. With a throaty moan, Cullen pulled him down again, sliding him further in, inch by glorious inch.

When Alistair was fully seated within Cullen, they both paused for breath. Eyes locked together, Alistair began to move. The slow roll of his hips wasn't exactly what Cullen was craving, but he couldn't deny the loving look that Alistair was giving him. He began to roll his hips, meeting Alistair — thrust for delicious thrust. Eyes barely blinking as they got lost in each other's gazes. "Please, don't be gentle out of fear. I want-"

Before he could finish that thought, Alistair drew his hips back and snapped them forward — hard, then continued a few more slow rolls of his hips. Just as Cullen was about to complain again or ask for more, Alistair drew back and slammed in once again.

"Oh, Maker!" Cullen exclaimed, finally giving himself over into Alistair's capable hands. While his hips met every one of Alistair's movements, his fingers dug into Alistair's back and his head fell back against the pillow. This ! This was what he needed: Alistair owning, worshiping, praising, taking care of him in every way possible. The polarity of both their needs being met — slow and soft, then quick and hard — as only Alistair could deliver. Cullen should have known, should have trusted that Alistair would know how to accommodate them both, leaving them each sated and happy.

Alistair's whispered words were like a soothing prayer washing over and through Cullen's mind and body; like a balm, like a beacon lighting him up from the inside; calling to him, praising him, enveloping him in their comfort and reassurances.

It was glorious, it was perfection. It was-

"Fuck, yes!" Cullen yelled, as his orgasm crashed into him, taking him completely by surprise. Alistair must have been paying attention, because the instant Cullen's body locked up in bliss, Alistair slammed into him one last time and was coming with him.

When Cullen could once again form coherent thoughts, he became aware of Alistair's abortive thrusts working them through the last of their aftershocks. Alistair's voice was the next thing he became aware of, repeatedly whispering, "I love you, I love you so fucking much." The words were broken, thick with emotion, lending comprehension to the moisture pooling on his shoulder that had nothing to do with the come quickly cooling between them.

"I know, sweetheart," Cullen whispered back. "I love you too. I will always love you." Cullen wiped the tears from Alistair's cheeks and brought their lips together again and again. Sweet, simple, almost chaste, if their currently connected bodies didn't tell a different story.

"I'm sorry," Alistair choked out, trying to surreptitiously wipe the wet from his face and from Cullen's shoulder.

"Hey, shhh. It's okay. We're okay. Don't apologize for any of that. That was… " Cullen laughed joyfully. "That was fucking amazing! You, my love, are absolutely amazing."

"Did I hurt you?" Alistair grimaced at the mess between them.

"Only in the best way." Cullen cupped his face and kissed him softly. "That was… perfect. I've missed this. I've missed you," Cullen said, holding Alistair tight to his chest.

"I've missed you too." Alistair pushed himself up and made a face. "Hold that thought, I just need to-"

Cullen chuckled. "I'll stay right here. But you better come back to me."

"Always," Alistair said walking over to retrieve the towel Cullen unceremoniously dropped to the floor. Before he bent to pick it up, he turned and pointed at it. "That, by the way, was one of the hottest things I've ever seen you do."

Cullen cringed. "If it wasn't for you looking so delicious on the bed, it probably wouldn't have happened. You are very distracting."

"Apparently, I'm also a bad influence on you." Alistair tossed the towel over to Cullen who snatched it out of the air and wiped himself down then handed it back to Alistair to clean himself up with. When he was finished he tossed it over his shoulder and into the hamper without looking.

"Show off." Cullen chuckled.

Alistair shrugged and picked up the bottle of champagne. "Would you like a refill?" he asked.

Cullen grabbed the flute off the other nightstand and set it next to his glass. "Yes, please." Cullen settled in against the pillows propped up against the headboard and opened his arm so Alistair could snuggle in against his chest.

After a few moments in comfortable silence, Alistair said, "There's something I've been meaning to ask you."

"What is it?"

"When did you make me the executor of your advance directive?" Alistair asked.

"We update our files at the beginning of the year." Cullen said. "With how everything's been going, it just seemed like the most logical option. I know I should have probably asked you first…"

"Hey, no, it's okay. It just took me by surprise." Alistair smiled, softly.

After they finished their drinks, they set their glasses aside and snuggled in under the covers. Soft, slow kisses eventually led to Alistair falling asleep with his head on Cullen's shoulder and Cullen's fingers running soothingly through Alistair's hair.

Cullen was bone tired, but hesitant to sleep just yet. He felt like he'd missed so much lately, he just wanted a few more minutes to really soak up how incredible his life was. He was truly blessed in all things: his work, friends, family - the incredible man currently snoring softly in his arms. Yes, he's been through more trials than most, but Cullen felt that only made him appreciate what he had that much more.

Kissing the top of Alistair's head, Cullen mulled over his conversation with Kieran earlier that evening. After everything they'd been through, Cullen was convinced that Alistair was who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. But… marriage ? He never pictured himself getting married. Not that he was opposed to it, per se, but he'd spent so many years married to his work. Could this be something he could actually have? The husband? The son? The…

Cullen shook his head to clear that train of thought. They had so much to do before they could even begin to start thinking like that. He had no idea if Alistair even wanted to eventually get married... but asking that question was part of the fun.

Wasn't it?

It needed to be something grand, but not ostentatious. Something worthy of Alistair. Something a little bit… cheesy .

A slow smile spread to Cullen's lips, the plan slowly forming. He'd need help, of course, for what he had in mind. He'd need lots of help from people able to keep the secret.

He could do this. He just prayed that when the day finally came… Alistair would say, "Yes!"


End Notes:

Wait, What?
It's over?!
It can't be over!
No, No, No, No, No!
I refuse to believe it!
(like I could ever be truly finished with this world)

In case the ending of this wasn't clear enough - THERE IS ANOTHER STORY ARC IN THE WORKS!
I will be taking a small break from C&C to work on a few other pieces, but I hope to have Promises & Proposals out later this year. It will be a fantastically epic fluffy piece that will probably cause cavities. :)

You can find me on Tumblr: Aurlyn, Twitter: Aurlana1, Instagram: Aurlana1313, and Facebook: Aurlana Emma.

Thank you all for your continued support and feedback! Thank you to the amazing Ponticle for being here with me from the very beginning and always making time to read even though their life is crazy and busy and - yeah, I appreciate them like nobody's business. And finally, thank you to Tatteredleaf for being my sounding board: sharing cheers, giggles, and tears with me over these boys and the adventures I've put them through. (and also for cracking the whip and telling me I am never allowed to stop writing them).