Ok next chapter... only a couple more left... the next one might be a few days if not next week... we will see what my work schedule allows... and what my brain can handle...
Thank you to all who have read... much appreciated... a few are likely under quarantine so I'm hoping my updates help...
marsupial1974 - always in my corner ... thanks babes... you get me
lizzie - good to see you're still hanging about... now get to updating
Her eyes were mostly closed as she moved on the dance floor. There wasn't a lot of room and it was both claustrophobic and comforting. Nameless, faceless. No one who cared or thought about her. She felt the vibrations in her bones.
..
The man closed the door behind her. She looked around from where she stood. It looked the same and different. Disconnected. He ushered her into the living room and suggested she take a seat on the couch. There wasn't a sound in the place save for the droning hums of appliances. She took a seat. He went into the kitchen and came back with a glass. She noticed the bottle of something amber on the center table in front of her and a half-drunk glass already there. He took a seat next to her and poured her a drink. His hand held out in front of her. She felt compelled to take it.
It wasn't until she held it that she felt a trembling inside. A memory from years ago looming overhead. Another man handing her a drink and telling her to drink up. She blinked. "I'm sorry... is he... is Jameson here?"
"No." The man leaned back into the couch, his own glass in hand and he took a pull from it. He could see she was nervous and he could understand that. "Jameson is gone and won't likely be back for a while if ever." His eyes clamped on to hers. He could see terror creeping in.
"Oh... but... he.. he texted me... well replied to me..to meet him here." Edison shook his head.
"No. You texted his mobile. I have that. I texted you to meet." She swallowed hard. She looked down at the glass in her hand. We're going to be mates, you and me. She shivered. She never thought it could be someone else that replied. She simply assumed he would be answering. Get up. Get up and walk out Emily. She swallowed and met his eyes.
"I... I wanted to talk to him. Please... I don't want..." He tilted his head as if he was considering what to do. She looked at the glass. "Please." Her voice felt small. She was surprised she was speaking out loud at all. He leaned forward and she flinched. He took the glass from her and set it on the table.
"You don't have to drink it." He truly realized how scared she was to be there. He could see why his brother had been so taken. Jameson liked the weak, the broken, the malleable. She was attractive physically. But Edison liked someone with fire. "Look... Jameson is gone so whatever thing he had over you is done and over. You and your lot are free to live. Is that what you wanted to hear? To talk to him about?"
Her eyes had been on him even as he took the glass. There was a sense of relief that this wasn't playing out like her memories. But her need crept up. She'd come here for a reason. "He's really gone? You can't... you can't get a hold of him?" Jameson stared at her and shook his head. "I needed to ask him... See... I'm... you work for him."
"Worked. Now I'm in charge." He sipped his drink and wondered where this was headed. He didn't want to do any favors. He didn't want her thinking she could ask for them. "If you're in trouble, you're on your own now. I'm sure one of your little mates can sort it."
"No. I mean... no, I don't... I'm not in trouble. Not really no... but I saw.. I saw my therapist today..."
"Don't worry, that's all still covered. Even if Jameson isn't here, I'll honor that." He drank from his glass again hoping that was the end.
"No... that's not..."
"Then what Emily?" She seemed lost to him. He wondered if any amount of therapy would help. He knew it hadn't been all Laura's actions that created Emily's problems but Jameson had been insistent on helping this girl as if it would erase his wrongs. Edison shook his head and drained what was left of his drink. "I'm not in the mood for.."
"You're not in the mood!? Think I am?" She raised her voice, her face red. "Think I wanted this? Think I wanted my life? That I wanted to feel all of..." She hiccuped as much in anger as sadness. "This hole inside me? To not know what the fuck to do about it? Do you?" She was standing in front of him, now screaming. The front door opened and a man stood there. Edison raised his hand only slightly to ward him off then wave him away. Emily didn't even notice him. "I lost it all. My family... my life... and what do I have? I thought... I thought it would be alright now.. that it would get better... instead I feel... sick... everything's a mess in here..." She pointed to her head and then her heart. "And here... and Jameson... he... the way he talked... it... maybe I thought he could... explain it... help me sort through this..." She realized how loud she'd been, how close she was to him, how she wanted to lash out. She was about to take a step back when Edison raised his hand to stop her. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't..."
..
Effy had curled up next to Cook in bed and fallen asleep. She was as worn out as the others. Emotions had been running high for months. The moments of peace were short and not enough. Everyone was healing their wounds. Her shoulder had been thankfully not all that bothersome but every so often she found herself drained. Like tonight.
She'd expected the fallout but it was still a lot. When she opened her eyes, she stared at a sleeping Cook who looked troubled even in his dreams. She hated that. She touched his jaw lightly, not wanting to wake him but affording him some sense of care. Things would get harder for him. Even if he was exempt from any criminal charges, his life needed to be restarted. His career was gone. His past was a mess. She pulled back and stretched. She went into the kitchen keen on grabbing water and maybe a snack. She tapped on her tablet as she poured a glass of water. She waited until the screen refreshed as she drank. She coughed up the liquid as her mind realized the location of Emily's phone. "Fucking hell."
..
"It's ok." He put his hand down on his lap. Emily stared at him. He wasn't upset. "Please sit. It's ok."
"I'm... I'm sorry... I'm..." She sat down. "I'm so fucking tired." She put her head in her hands. Edison sat up, closer to her. She looked up startled. He put his hands, palms up as if to say easy. He reached over and took the glass she'd not drank from. He put it in her hands gently.
"Have a sip. Just to settle yourself a bit. You're safe here. I promise." Edison was going simply on gut. He knew of her past and imagined an entire subtext of emotions he couldn't quite comprehend being in her shoes. "I don't know that I can help. Not really. I'm not my brother."
"Your..." She was holding the glass and looked at him. Did she know that? Had they met before? She couldn't think. Emily brought the glass to her lips and sipped. She grimaced at the taste, the intensity of it. She set the glass down. "Where is he?"
"He's in Stockholm." Edison said it without thought. Not many knew where his brother had been shipped to. He didn't think he needed to sidestep with Emily. "He has troubles of his own. He takes medication for them but... sometimes it's not enough."
"Oh."
"I know... he doesn't seem like he needs help." Edison smiled at the look on Emily's face. It had never occurred to her that Jameson was anything less than perfect. "He has really grand moments but then there are really... catastrophic ones." He knew this present break in him has been Laura, her death. It had snapped something and there was no avoiding having him sent away for a while. His father had insisted.
"I didn't..." She thought about him, how he presented himself. He was so together. She bit her lip. "Is he ok?" Edison looked at her with surprise and laughed. He stopped laughing when he realized she was being earnest.
"Oh.. you're... you're seriously asking after him?" It shocked him. He smiled. "Yes... well.. he will be eventually." He wasn't sure anyone had ever shown an ounce of care. He understood another reason why Jameson wanted to protect Emily, wanted her to be cared for. "You're genuine."
"What?" She was confused. Her mind was still trying to unravel itself from the cobwebs of memories, thoughts, emotions all colliding into each other. She eyed the drink and thought about it but the taste was horrid. "Could I... could I have something else to drink? Please?"
"Of course. Um... alcohol or other?" Edison stood and waited for her reply before heading into the kitchen. "There's vodka, gin... beer... there might be wine somewhere but I haven't set eyes on it and not my favorite... there's also orange juice that's still drinkable." He hadn't bothered with shopping. He was never here long enough to need food and the previous dweller didn't think to keep much in the cupboards.
"The wine is in the third cupboard on the bottom left. It's fitted for wine bottles." She announced matter of fact and then blushed. She'd known the place all too well.
"So... wine... I'll get you some." He wondered if anyone knew where Emily was. Her friends didn't seem to be far behind but he'd received nothing from Effy. He smiled at the thought of her. He liked her. He grabbed a bottle from exactly where she said and uncorked it. With a fresh glass in hand, he ventured into the living room. "Here you go." He poured it for her and set the bottle down next to his, then refilled his own glass with her discarded Scotch. "Not letting it go to waste. Cheers." He tapped her glass with the edge of his. He sat back and watched as she took a tentative sip, then another. He almost wished Jameson was in his right mind. He would like to be able to help her. "I'm not my brother. I don't have his... insight into people not like he does." He didn't add any parameters as to the type of person his brother was best at.
"Yeah... I don't have any insights. Not even to me." She drank and looked around at the flat. The energy was different. It wasn't sexually charged. It wasn't overpowering. Emily took a deep breath.
"I think you know yourself." She looked at him like he had three heads. He laughed. "No... truly. You know what you've been through. Let me finish." She'd given him another look. "Most people... they stumble through life... some things that are shit happen to them and they get up and over... might never learn anything. You've accepted that there are things you need to work on, to... uh... heal. You're seeking help for it when you can't do it on your own." Emily blinked and took that in. "What.. um.. what would you ask Jameson... if he were here... and please note that I may not have an answer." He took another drink and waited.
Emily thought about what he was saying, asking. She unconsciously sat back, a little more relaxed. "I would ask... what makes me... I don't know... want someone else's say-so... to do things? Like I'm looking for..."
"Permission." He said out loud. She nodded. "We all do that."
"No.. not like I do... I have this gut reaction... this... I can't explain it." She took another sip. "I get terrified... that I'm doing the wrong thing. That... I don't know how to.. be."
..
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck." Effy had dressed rapidly and was debating waking Cook and Naomi, not in that order. She was weighing the probabilities that it would be worse if she did versus leaving them both. Alone. She stepped to where Naomi had tossed her jacket and gingerly took the car keys. She mouthed an apology as she grabbed her bag, the tablet and left the flat.
Once in the car, she placed a call. "Don't ask, just listen. I'll be by yours in less than ten. Be outside. Dressed and maybe... I don't know armed?" She hung up the call and set out.
..
"We all seek approval. For the most part... some sort of approval." He was trying to put what he learned in university courses eons ago to use. "You... you were made to take direction... orders... it shifted something. And maybe something in your personality blows that up even more...so it's all... well all you know." He sounded like an idiot to himself. "Ok... what was the last thing you did that was because you wanted to?"
"I came here." She swallowed.
"No. You needed to do that. From everything you said, that was more of a need than anything. What did you choose to do... for you?" It took a moment.
"I asked Naomi to go on a date." Emily smiled and blushed at the thought. Edison marveled at the innocence on display in front of him. Pure joy. "I never really dated... and I wanted to see what it would be like. She took me to a concert at Kew Gardens. It was perfect." Her smile was beaming.
"So you need to do more of that."
"More dating?" She laughed.
"Probably yes, but more of what makes you happy. You wanted something and you asked for it. For you. Not for anyone else. Not because anyone else told you to. You need to learn to be you." She stared at him. It was the simplest statement but it felt like lightning striking.
"Oh."
..
Effy pulled up in front of the building where an exasperated James stood. He jumped in the car empty-handed. She gave him a look. He buckled in as she sped off. He swore under his breath. "Nothing?" She asked.
"Sorry... my dueling pistols are at the shop. What the hell Effy? Armed? Seriously?" She shrugged. "Where are we going? Is it Emily? Did she reach out? And what were you expecting from a midwife?"
"Yes, it's Emily but she didn't reach out. I looked at her location and she's somewhere she shouldn't be. As for armed... better to be prepared. There's a stun gun in my bag."
"A stun... ok then." He took her answer in stride. "So where is she?"
"Laura's old flat."
"Why the fuck would she go there? Thought the bitch was dead."
"She is but someone else owns the flat."
"Who?"
"Jameson."
"Fuck me."
..
"Sounds simple." She joked and finished her glass of wine. She considered another as he sat up and poured it for her. "Nothing's ever simple."
"Some things, no. Some, yes. No one holds your proverbial leash anymore."
"Literal one too." Emily said absentmindedly. She cringed. Why was that so easy? She felt no reservations. She was speaking her mind without regard as to how it might be taken. "Sorry. I'm babbling." He waved it off.
"The point is you're free. You get to sort out what you want to do. How you want to live your life. You came here looking for answers from someone else. But while he could or would have given you answers, they wouldn't be your answers. They would be his interpretation of what your answers might be." He thought about that. "The alcohol might be kicking in. I'd had a few before your arrival."
"I won't tell a soul." She giggled and was surprised at herself. She took another drink. "Think it's possible? For someone so used to... obeying... to do as she wants?"
"Why not?" He hadn't expected to have this kind of conversation. He'd wanted to inform her that Jameson was gone and they should all bugger off. He had enough on his mind now being in charge of a small drug empire. The price he had to pay for his brother's sanity. He hadn't expected to have a one on one with her. "What is it you want to do Emily?" Edison asked curiously.
Emily went to speak and found she didn't have a ready answer. She wanted to say live happily ever after but that seemed like an anecdote. She gave in to her thoughts a moment. Trying to see if she could sum up her life – the happy moments – that weren't based on the existence of someone else. The moments were far and few if any. "I haven't a clue."
"That's fair." Edison looked at her brown eyes and saw something that hadn't been there when she'd walked in. A spark. He smiled. "I'm going to guess that snogging isn't an option." She looked at him as they both broke out in laughter.
"I'll pass. You're nice and all but no." She felt calm. She was saying no. She wasn't afraid of what that meant.
"It was a thought... I'm liquored up and you're attractive. Took a chance." He put his head back on the couch. "It was a long day."
"You're not kidding." She said and mimicked his behavior. She drank some more and wondered why she felt so at ease. She looked at him. He was less than an arm's length away and she wasn't afraid of him, wasn't wary of him. Emily had let her guard down and it was ok. "Actually... there is something I want to do."
..
"Ok so what's the plan?" James asked nervously as he and Effy rode the elevator. He'd taken a look at the stun gun and her knife and decided he'd try his hand at neither. His logic was that neither could be used against them when he was overpowered.
"We get off, knock on the door and see what happens." Effy replied with hands in her pockets while holding the stunner in her left and the knife in her right.
"I'm sure we'll be invited for tea showing up like this." James was fidgeting. She couldn't fault him his nerves. She wasn't exactly used to being ready to fight but in some ways she was. The last time she'd had these in her possession, they'd all ended up in the hospital. And he'd lost his other sister. She held her breath until the elevator doors opened.
..
Cook woke up to a full bladder and noticed Effy wasn't in bed with him. He avoided using the walker even if his body was screaming at him. Baby steps, he told himself. He made it to the loo and relieved himself. After he was done, he chanced a look towards the kitchen figuring Effy was working late into the night. When he didn't see her, he slowly and painfully made it to the living room to find a sleeping Naomi and no Effy. A knot at the pit of his stomach formed and he made his way back to the bedroom to find his phone.
..
James and Effy walked to the door only to be met by a man who came around the corner. Both of them stopped as he didn't look too friendly. He walked to the door and stood in front of it giving them a look.
"Bollocks..." James uttered through clenched teeth. He looked at Effy who stepped forward. He was cursing internally as he followed suit.
"No visitors." The man stated.
"Not good enough." Effy answered. She left go of her knife and left it in her pocket as she dug out her phone. She pulled up a photo of Emily and presented it to the unaffected man. "You seen her?" He didn't look at the phone.
"No visitors."
"Fuck you."
"Eff... I don't think we should..." James was trying to figure out a way to get around the problem at hand. But the brunette wasn't backing down. She stepped toe to toe with the guy guarding the door.
"I'm sure you feel your cock growing by leaps and bounds at acting this part but frankly I'm not in the mood. I asked a simple question if you'd seen the girl. You say no, we leave. You say yes, then we move to the next step." The guy leaned down to repeat his previous reply when Effy pulled the stunner out and pressed it against his neck. She left it there for good measure until he was all the way down on the floor.
"Holy shit!" James stood there with his jaw on the ground. "What the... holy..." He looked around but there wasn't anyone wandering the floor.
"Help me." She was turning the guy over with some difficulty when James lent a hand. She pulled a pair of zip ties out of her bag and immobilized the unconscious man.
"I don't know whether to be frightened or..." He kept the other part of the statement to himself as it would have been awkward to say the least.
"Save it." She pounded on the door in front of her. "Jameson! Open the bloody door." It didn't take long for the door to swing open. A half naked man with unzipped jeans stood in front of her. It wasn't Jameson.
"And I thought my night was just settling down. Hello Effy."
"Edison... where the fuck is she?"
