February, 1976.
The day couldn't get any more cursed, Hermione decided. Sure, she'd spent plenty of years at Hogwarts, but this had to be the worst Valentine's day till date.
She sat in the Great Hall quietly - or well, as quietly as she could with a clogged nose that had her nostrils reaching for oxygen. She hadn't decided whether she should curse herself for going out in the cold to calm her anger, or the Fates themselves, who had decided that it had been long since Hermione's last breakdown.
After waking up from yet another nightmare — one that consisted of Riddle's new, distorted face and that sodding cup once again — she had decided to skip her daily run and exercises during the early morning.
That didn't do her any good, leaving her feeling lazy and powerless. Really, she'd even started to miss the sweat that trickled down her face after putting her muscles to work. She already feared that all the progress had gone down the drain in just one day.
Not to mention that in a few minutes, she had yet another training session with Moody. So, she decided that enough was enough. She wouldn't waste any more time!
Finishing up the mini monologue in her mind, she blew out a frustrated breath and glared at the package in front of her. "This is not a prank, right?" she asked the boys, eyeing each one of them appraisingly. Lily merely rolled her eyes.
James huffed out a laugh. "Our prank is in my hands, Hermione." He wasn't wrong. He'd proudly shown off everyone the sticky glue, slime or whatever, that he'd twirled around his finger earlier. They were also informed of how, if they were to come in contact with it, their hand would sadly be stuck to his until he decided to let go.
Needless to say, they all remained at a safe distance from him even now.
Even Lily had been hesitant to sit by his side.
Hermione sighed and opened the small box, finding a small vial that looked like it contained quite a familiar Potion. "No way," she breathed out and smiled widely.
She picked up the note attached to it and read out, "I noticed that you haven't been feeling all too well. Here's a Pepper Up Potion for you . . . Please, take care!"
Sirius snatched the note out of her hands and glared at it, as though it could reveal who the sender had been. "People are getting way too nice on Valentine's day," he muttered and looked back at her with careful eyes. "Are you sure you should drink that?"
Hermione paused. That was a good question — had it been any other day, she wouldn't even have dared to touch it. But today, the medicine looked like a gift sent from Heaven, so she nodded desperately. "I was thinking about going to Madam Pomfrey just now. I have something important to do in a few minutes, so I'll just go ahead and be reckless for once."
"For once?" Sirius snorted. "Don't think I've forgotten about how ready you were to barge in Dumbledore's office after that vi—"
She cut him off with a kick on his shins, and he coughed, looking away. "Ah, Cynthia! Is that you? How about you show me that broom closet you were talking about?"
Her brother wasted no time in getting to his feet and leading the dark haired Ravenclaw away from the tables with a strut.
Lily scrunched her nose and opened her mouth to say something, but seemingly thought better of it. Instead, her emerald eyes turned towards Hermione and she smiled. "Aren't you going to drink it, Hermione?"
Thrown off at being called by her first name by the redhead after so long, Hermione blinked and she nodded mutely.
Remus leaned closer to her and sniffed, perplexed. "It smells a bit extravagant. Don't you think?"
James made a noise in the back of his throat. "Moony, what are you on? It smells familiar, like—"
"Guys? Can you stop showing off your smell senses when I'm over here with a clogged nose?" Hermione argued, getting more exhausted than ever. This simple cold had really started to take a toll on her health. "Can someone distract me? I can never tolerate the flavour of this."
"Why don't you listen to someone, while you drink it? Talk to her, Remus," Lily suggested. Her green eyes were pinned on the werewolf, who looked thrown off but shrugged anyways.
"Uh, is - how is Regulus doing?"
She threw him an exasperated look at his attempt. "Good? He's facing our way, so you can clearly see him."
Defeated, Hermione inhaled as much as she could with a clogged nose, before she picked up the small vial and drank it down all in one go, as though she had a parched throat.
She was surprised to notice a sweet aftertaste to it. Or, even just a whole taste of its own.
Her eyesight blurred and she shook her head, blinking a few times to clear her sight. "Uh - can someone tell me why this tastes so—"
"Bad? You've told us a few times," she heard someone say dryly. Her head snapped towards Remus and she found her body inch closer and closer.
"Remus," she breathed out, holding his arm like he was her lifeline. "I like you. I like you so much — I can't imagine my life without you."
Remus's face screwed up on one side, and he let out a light, strained laugh. "The same goes with me, Hermione. But, are you okay?"
Her hand moved up, till it touched his neck and she shook her head again. "I need to kiss you."
His eyes widened and he sprung back, creating a bigger distance between them. A sob wretched out of her mouth and just as she made to move closer to him once again, someone gripped her hand and forced her back.
She turned to face James — had he jumped on top of the table to get to her side? — and glared. "Let me go," she said hotly, struggling to loosen the grip of his fingers against her own.
"It was obviously a fucking Love Potion, Hermione. Come on." He stood up, urging her to get up with the pull of his hand. "Find us on the Map, and don't come unless you get the antidote from Slughorn."
Hermione's eyes remained fixed on Remus, and she tried to call out to him, even as James pulled her out of the room, ignoring the murmurs of the few students that had waited to leave for Hogsmeade.
James wasn't sure of what else to do. He'd locked Hermione and himself up in a random classroom, charming it closed at his will, so that Hermione wouldn't be able to open it.
His head fell against the door, and he sat on the floor with crossed legs as he looked at the girl before his eyes. She'd mimicked his posture, though her shoulders were slouched and she seemed to be wiping away a few tears.
"Don't cry," he tried with a soft voice. Her caramel eyes flew towards him and he thought of it as a mistake - meeting her fierce eye, full of deep, smoldering fire.
"I want to see Remus."
James groaned, raising his hand to rake it through his hair. He felt Hermione's hand follow his and he stopped immediately, letting their intertwined hands fall back on his knee.
His mind supplied him with the memory of the first time he'd gotten to hold her hand. During their first encounter, it had only been a brief touch, to help her up. Now that he looked back at the amount of times she'd fallen because of him, he found himself chuckling.
"Don't laugh." Her voice broke and her eyes were seconds away from pouring out hot tears. He could see a tear already fall down to her cheek and his other hand immediately went to wipe it away.
"This is where Amos and I broke up."
His hand froze and he eyed her carefully, swallowing when he saw her mouth shift in a small smile. "I thought I wouldn't be able to ever love someone. But now I know what it feels like. I do love Remus."
He wanted to shake his head - tell her that no, you're being tricked.
But, what did James know? Maybe, she had fallen in love with Remus, after all.
He gave her a tight smile. "What does it feel like?" he asked, genuinely curious if she would be able to answer under the effect of the Love Potion.
Hermione blinked at him, the motion was slow and her eyes widened. "I love Remus," she repeated mechanically. "It feels nice . . ."
Her brows furrowed together and she spoke once again, "Do you think he loves me, too?"
Subtle anger poured into his veins and he clenched his fists together. This was a question he wanted to avoid at all costs, even as he pushed himself to look at her.
A tendril of hair had fallen in front of her eye, and just like always, she tried to blow it away and was unsuccessful.
The fury in his body left him like a whoosh.
James reached up with a sigh and swept a lock of her hair behind her ear, brushing her cheek with his thumb as he did so.
Being close enough—when did that happen?—he was able to see that the colour of her cheeks had finally returned, causing him to break out in an awed smile. They had bloomed like cherry blossoms; breathtaking and worth the wait.
He couldn't take that away from her. She deserved an answer.
"I think he does," he ground out earnestly, a soft grunt escaping his throat that sounded way too confident. It felt like the most obvious answer.
Sure, he had never specifically asked Remus if he did — he wasn't sure if he had the guts to do that, for some reason — but over the years, it just started to feel like the automatic assumption.
Where Hermione was, there was Remus. The two shared their love for academics, nature, and Merlin knows what else. He had always assumed that was what soulmates were like, but . . .
He wasn't so sure. He didn't want to be sure. He liked the kind of uncertainty that remained when it came to his two best friends' relationship.
Then, there was him and Lily. He continued to believe that they were definitely soulmates. In his mind, it had been like that since that day, five years ago.
He finally had the chance to love her as his girlfriend and he wanted her to actually be his first love, because that's what he believed the Fates wanted, too. Or else, why would Lily have given him a chance after so long?
"That's good, isn't it? We can finally kiss and get married after Hogwarts." She sighed dreamily and gave him a wide smile, allowing James to notice the small dimple that appeared on her cheek only when she was truly the happiest.
He felt a smile tug at the corners of his lips. Had he always been waiting eagerly for it to appear?
It was reasonable if he had. There was nothing wrong in wanting his best friend to receive genuine happiness.
"Ah! Slow down, Cub." He gave a small, short laugh, taking a hold of her other hand. Her breath hitched and he inhaled calmly, clearing his throat before he backed away. "Don't start imagining little werewolf babies with him, already."
James was left with a bitter taste in his mouth, and he made a sound like a strangled cough. He - well, he hoped no one's feelings were going to get hurt. If this was all fake.
If.
Her cheeks burned and she looked away as they fell into a slightly awkward silence. He tried to think of something to say that might help him backtrack, but everything he came up with sounded stupid in his head.
It seemed like he still had no tact. His mom would be disappointed.
"Let me see him. Get me out of here, please. I really need to tell him how I feel," she once again let out all in one go, narrowing her eyes at him.
She pulled his hand, forcing them both on their feet, and he fumbled, caught by the acridness of Hermione's tone. Never in their fights — serious or not — had she ever looked at him so loathfully and yet, this Potion had forced her to do just that.
He almost glared at her then, his teeth ground tightly. He wanted to find whoever was behind all this and slug them black and blue. Hermione had never messed with anybody, and she would be the last Marauder one would think of getting back at.
She had a heart all too big. His best friend was the kind of person to willingly go to each person and reverse any charm that the rest of the boys had cast as a prank.
To see her now, troubled and tricked into this foolery — it had him wanting the Earth to swallow him whole with guilt. Even as she continued to pull his hand, he didn't move an inch. Merlin forbid, but if someone were to take advantage of her, he would never be able to forgive himself.
"Open the door," he heard Sirius say as his knuckles rapped against the wood. James gave Hermione a look that he hoped was intimidating—of course, there was no way she found it anything but funny in this state—so, he just sighed and turned the knob, moving away from the door.
Sirius entered the classroom with frantic eyes that immediately fell on his sister, softening as they searched her face. His expression twisted with relief and he let out sigh.
"Hermione," he breathed out with a smile. "Are you okay?"
"Sirius," she started irritably before he could ask any other questions. "Can you move? I need to go see Remus."
She tried to loosen James's grip on her hand, but he held onto her hand tightly so as to stop her from fleeing. He couldn't let anything else happen to her.
Sirius groaned and finally looked at James. "I've got the antidote. Regulus found me and almost kicked me in the ass for not being there when it happened," he said, his hand pulling out a vial from the pocket of his jacket. "Help me get her to drink it?" he asked with a tired sigh.
James nodded and moved closer to Hermione, remembering the day they'd danced together. Fingers still intertwined with hers, he let his other hand trace the arc of her waist, the grip still not tight enough to hurt her. "Hermione, look at me."
She blinked at him, her breathing shallow. "James, I need to see Remus. I lov—"
Sirius moved to keep her mouth open and slipped the transparent liquid inside, waiting until no last sip remained. He stepped back, and they both watched with bated breaths as Hermione blinked more rapidly by the second.
She stumbled on her steps and panicked as he was, James grabbed her wrist and pulled the girl against his chest, allowing him to feel her warm breath through his shirt's fabric.
Hermione moved away with a groan and he took the chance to remove the glue from both of their hands.
"What—" She glanced behind him and despair crossed her expression as her hands flew to her mouth.
"Hermione!"
James craned his neck to find Remus, Lily and Peter standing by the door. The werewolf slowly walked up to Hermione and licked his lips, trying to choose his words very carefully.
Hermione's lips parted on a breath as she continued to shake her head. "I'm so sorry, Remus. I - Merlin, I can't do this. I'm sorry." She rushed towards the door, too quick for any of them to stop her.
James stared at the spot where she had been kneeling, and his hand twitched. "I'll go," he told Sirius, stopping the boy before he could run after his sister.
Now, he just had to find her.
James let out a relieved sigh, when he found her still by Barnabas the Barmy's portrait. He slipped quietly inside the room she'd created before the door could close.
He looked around with wide eyes. It was a small, plain bedroom with pastel blue walls, furnished with a large bookcase and a basic desk with a chair.
"You're not supposed to be here."
His eyes flew towards Hermione and he sent her a sheepish glance. "Too late, isn't it? Where are we, anyways?"
Her stunned gaze fitted around her own creation, and she shook her head. "It's someone's bedroom, I'm guessing."
He arched a brow at her and shuffled across the room, joining her on the large twin bed. "I think anyone would've been able to come up with that observation. Not your brightest moment, Hermione," he joked good-naturedly, hoping for a smile to appear on her face like it had earlier. At her frown, his charming grin transformed into a much more serious look.
"I haven't had many of those, lately," she complained, falling on the soft mattress with a groan. "I hate myself."
He laid down on his side and watched her carefully. Her hair fanned around her head like a halo, and he was close enough that it tickled his ear, but he didn't move. "It's not your fault."
"You don't even know what I'm talking about," she muttered, staring up at the ceiling. "Honestly, our hands are not even stuck anymore. You didn't have to come."
He snorted, giving her a bewildered look, despite the fact that she wasn't facing him. "You're telling me that just because we aren't stuck together, we aren't best friends anymore?"
The sullen look on her face eased. "You're right," she said, and he almost pumped a fist in the air at that. It wasn't often that Hermione Black said that to someone, especially James.
"Then, tell your best friend what's bothering you, other than - well, that whole thing that just happened with Remus," he encouraged her, clearing his throat with a cringe at reminding both of them of the event.
That wasn't a good start.
Defeated, she said, "Okay, but no questions. Please." He nodded, and she probably saw him from the corner of her eyes, because she continued, "I just disappointed someone who already finds it hard to believe that I'm strong."
"Who is it? It's not Abraxas, is it?" he asked. He hadn't met the older man, but he still found it quite strange that Hermione was able to get along with a Malfoy. Especially, after she avoided Lucius Malfoy for so many years.
"You said you wouldn't ask questions."
"Right. Sorry."
"It's not Abraxas . . . Let's just say that if I don't satisfy him, I'm not going to move forward and do what I have to. I can't waste time, James!" She groaned, pulling a fistful of her curls in frustration.
He grabbed her hand, and pushed himself up on his right elbow to look at her properly. "Stop that, Hermione. I don't understand what you're talking about—it's definitely not just an essay—but from what I can tell, you're pushing yourself too hard. Are you giving yourself realistic expectations?"
She snapped her mouth shut and blinked up at him. "What? I - well, I'm not sure," she babbled, her mouth opened and closed around words that refused to part from her lips. His gaze on her, he stayed there calmly, letting her fumble over her words, though he had never seen Hermione so frustrated at not knowing something.
"Would peasants like us be able to accomplish the same thing so quickly?" he finally clarified, once she stopped. He bit down a fond smile when her eyes showed an obvious glimmer of realization.
"No," she answered quickly, and he gave her a knowing look.
"Well, there you go. I felt a similar way when I joined the Quidditch team and wanted to be as good as the seventh years," he told her. It was actually the first time he'd ever confessed this to anyone. "I sneaked out at night to the Quidditch Pitch and tried to gain the same skills as them overnight. I eventually just realized that time will run its course and that's just how it's meant to. You need to take things slowly and learn more things well over time."
The muscles in his arm began to burn and he fell back on the mattress, just for Hermione to sit up on her elbow, instead.
"And look at me now. I proudly proclaim myself the best Chaser at Hogwarts!"
She looked fascinated at his story, and he couldn't help the smug smile that turned at his lips.
He was, after all, James Potter. So, he continued to grin like a loon, and she rolled her eyes.
"I'm proud of you," she told him, her voice soft but clear. He took a look at her eyes—crinkled with lovely smiles of their own, though the turmoil could still be seen—and his chest hurt. It hurt with an ardent pain; enough for him to look away, unbearable as it may be.
His eyes briefly moved to a frame that hung on the wall, showing a family of three, before they flew back towards Hermione.
She swiftly carded her fingers through his hair and messed it, causing him to sputter in protest, trying to push her hands away.
"I was going to say that I'm proud of you, too - but you just had to mess up my gorgeous black locks!"
She threw her head back and laughed, the sound sweet — like everything about her had started to seem lately. "There are some things that are just inevitable."
He tore his eyes away from her and swallowed. He highly wished that to not be true.
James wrapped his arm around Hermione's shoulders and led her back to the dorm, allowing her tired body to lean against his weight.
The moment they entered, he noticed everyone on their respective beds, waiting for their return in silence. When they all looked up, Hermione's eyes immediately flew towards Remus and her features contorted in cringe, mixed with obvious embarrassment at the whole event.
"Remus. I'm so sorry."
Sirius was next to her in an instant, helping her to her bed and making sure she was comfortable, while James walked to his bed with an impassive face, his attention all towards Remus.
The werewolf looked incredulous. "Hermione, it's okay. You were drugged."
"Yeah. Moony's right," said Sirius, a frown etched on his face as he looked down at the twin. "I have to find whoever did it, though."
"Lily said that it was obviously a prank on both Hermione and Remus," Peter interjected, looking confused. "She said that they must've seen something in these two. Not to mention that it's Valentine's day and it was his birthday yesterday."
James felt the air lace with a creeping hostility, right the moment Sirius scoffed and his head fell back with a groan. "Well, this is not fucking funny, is it?"
He turned towards Hermione, who looked more exhausted than ever. "You see this, sister? Have we ever pranked someone like this?"
Hermione shook her head. "I would've killed you before you even tried to," she muttered, closing her eyes. "Besides, you would never do anything like this." She laid down and pulled a blanket over her body. "I'm just so embarrassed . . . and tired."
Sirius frowned and he pressed the back of his hand against her forehead to check her temperature. "You should rest, Cub. We don't have classes, anyways."
"I did," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes with her knuckles. "I missed a very important . . . fight . . . Voldemort."
"What?" Peter squeaked, giving Sirius a questioning look.
His nose twitched and he shrugged. "She must be hallucinating. Sleep now, Cub. I have a feeling you won't be resting much after you wake up." No response came from Hermione and he sighed.
They fell into a comfortable silence, as James glanced at a small frame that had fallen on the floor. "What is that?" he asked, his finger pointed at the object
Sirius shuffled over to the frame and picked it up, walking towards James with a satisfied smile. He joined him on the bed and passed it to him. "We found these pictures in my trunk."
It was a picture from second year, when they'd all decided to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas. The five of them were all huddled together, wrapped in a large blanket as they tickled Hermione to get her to smile.
"I look as handsome as ever." James grinned and Sirius gave him a light punch on the arm.
"Of course, you do, mate! But your perfect looks are not what I want to talk about, right now."
James wiped the smile off his face and nodded, looking at his best friend carefully. "What is it?"
"I - hm, okay. I have no reason to badmouth your girlfriend, but she has been acting a bit rudely towards my twin. Of course, it's Hermione's business and I wouldn't usually interfere," he stopped, and James was reminded of a very similar conversation with the other twin a few nights ago, "but . . . after today—"
"Lily didn't do anything," James interjected, immediately jumping to his girlfriend's defense. His brows scrunched together, he gave Sirius a look that properly showed how baffled he was at the sudden accusation. "Padfoot, trust me. I've liked her for five years now and I think I know her well enough to be sure that she would never do something like this."
Sirius paused, relenting a bit. "Fine. If you think I'm not experienced enough in seeing my sister hurt and having a hunch on who did it. But," he kept their eyes locked and arched a brow, "Do you really know her, though? Hasn't she been acting differently from how you always saw her?"
James straightened and threw him a glare. "Fuck's sake. Of course, I do. I like her—"
"I'm not saying you don't like her," Sirius added quickly, putting his hands up to calm him down. "I'm just saying that you've noticed her for five years, not necessarily gotten to know her. It's been a month of you two dating. How does it even feel?"
James swallowed, thinking back at all the time he had spent with Lily so far. He cherished each moment, though mixed together, they seemed too superficial, since they were so few. He still liked her, though. He was so happy — fuck, happier than a man on the moon.
"You don't know, Pads. Dating someone is a long process and it's going to feel a bit new to everyone. She makes me happy," he argued, convinced that there was nothing wrong in how things were going with Lily.
"Okay, just don't . . . change, you know?" Sirius mumbled defeatedly, dragging his hand across his face. "I don't want to fight. You dealt with my sister, even though she was probably unbearable under influence. Nor do I want to go through the process of losing a brother once again."
James shook his head and chuckled lowly. "I still don't understand why you and Hermione don't like Lily, but you won't lose me. I wouldn't do that to you. Can the Marauders really afford to lose their visual?"
Sirius gave him an affronted look. "They're not losing me any time soon."
A/N: This is a chapter that I'd been planning to write for two months now, and I hope you truly enjoyed it. The behaviour caused by a Love Potion might feel a bit different in this story, but that's exactly how I wanted Hermione to act. Anyways, feel free to let me know what you think. Thank you!
