The High Inquisitor

Owlery Holt

"Now that you've all read Draco's message and my report, the next question is what are we going to do about this?", Lutra asked.

"Have you contacted Ginny's parents?", Amelia Bones asked.

"I talked with Arthur, and I can tell you this: he's pist over what that bitch did to his daughter… Pist and frustrated: he said there was precious little he could do without alienating Fudge more than he already has. Dumbledipshit did promise to 'look into it' (finger quotes), but we all know he's not calling any shots, so far as Umbridge is concerned".

"I am afraid that there isn't much to work with here", Lucius Malfoy explained. "Corporal punishment is allowed by the Bylaws. Suspension by wrists or ankles, whipping with the Cat o' Nine Tails, and definitely caning, paddling, and spanking are all technically permitted, though haven't been used in decades or centuries. It's like all those obsolete laws: still legal, but never enforced, even though they could be".

"What are the exact Bylaws concerning corporal punishment?"

"I'll get back to you on that".

"How many parents know?", Narcissa asked. "If they knew that corporal punishment was back on the table, how many would go along?"

"The Prophet has mentioned nothing about that when they were reporting on Fudge's educational initiatives, nor do his educational decrees explicitly approve".

"Then it's up to us to alert the public, another communique from the Order is in order".

"Do we let Dumbledore off the hook?", Sirius asked. "With these educational decrees, he may not have had a choice".

"I disagree", Harry said, "blame him…"

"I know you don't particularly like Dumbledore…", Sirius pointed out.

"It has nothing to do with that! Think about it: if we don't attack Dumbledore, what will they think? They'll figure the Order of the Otter is the Order of the Phoenix's alter ego. It's best if they think we're competition, if not outright opposition. Keep 'em guessing".

"He does have a point", Amelia observed.

"Then I'll draw up a draft", Lutra said.

"The latest around the Ministry", Lucius began, "is that Fudge is becoming more suspicious and paranoid about Dumbledore. It was one of the reasons he installed his 'consigliere', First Secretary Umbridge, into the Defense professorship. Fudge doesn't want the students to receive combat training…"

"Combat training?", Sirius asked, "you're shittin' us, right? He thinks Dumbledore is planning on using Hogwarts students as some sort of private army or something?"

"I wish I was, but that is the reason Ginny and the others are receiving deliberately inadequate Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons that aren't including any defensive magick. Yes, Fudge really does believe that: that Dumbledore is training up an army of kids to forcibly depose the Minister. That's the sorry state of the Ministry: they're worried about some elderly school master and not the very real threat. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if another reason for installing Umbridge wasn't to have Dumbledore brought up on some trumped up charges. Even if Fudge didn't succeed in getting him sent to Azkaban, a lengthy trial would keep him distracted from his 'plot' to overthrow Fudge. Another reason why the Order shouldn't be seen as being too Dumbledore-friendly".

"Without adequate training…", Sirius began.

"Those kids will be sitting ducks for Voldemort and/or his Death Eaters", Lutra completed that thought.

"On that note", Lucius continued, "Fudge pushed another one of his educational decrees through the Wizengamot. It'll be out in tomorrow's Daily Prophet: he's making Umbridge what he calls a 'High Inquisitor'. His latest attempt to undercut Dumbledore, and, perhaps, encourage him to resign as Headmaster. I, however, don't see that happening. As for what this means concerning the well being of the students, who knows? You can be sure of one thing: the well being of the students is the last thing on Fudge's mind".

"I suggest we call this meeting a wrap", Lutra said, "our first priority is exposing the physical abuse of students inside Hogwarts. If there are no objections?"

0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

CONTINUING EDUCATIONAL REFORM

DOLORES UMBRIDGE APPOINTED FIRST HIGH INQUISITOR

In a surprise move, the Wizengamot passed legislation last night giving the Ministry of Magick a new and unprecedented level of control over Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"The Minister has been growing concerned over the declining standards at the prestigious school for quite some time", said Junior Undersecretary Percy Weasley. "Education has always been a high priority for Minister Fudge. He is responding to the concerns of anxious parents who believe the school is moving in directions that do not meet their approval"

This is not the first time Minister Fudge has used emergency legislation to pass measures that address the issue of educational reform. Educational Decree Twenty Two, passed on 30 August of this year, granted the Ministry the power to fill any faculty openings that the Headmaster could not.

"That's how Ms Umbridge came to become the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor", explained Mr. Weasley. "Headmaster Dumbledore could not find a suitable applicant for the position in time for the opening of the current academic year. Ms Umbridge has become an overnight success. She has revolutionized the teaching of Defense Against the Dark Arts, and is also providing the Ministry with on-the-ground feedback about what is happening inside Hogwarts".

It was the latter role that Educational Decree Twenty Three formalizes with the establishment of the position of High Inquisitor.

"This is an exciting new phase in coming to grips with what some are referring to as the 'falling standards' at the historic school", explained Mr. Weasley. "The Inquisitor will have a new power to audit her fellow educators to ensure that they are coming up to scratch. Professor Umbridge has been offered this new assignment in addition to her own teaching position, and we are delighted to inform you that she accepted this additional responsibility".

The new measures have received the enthusiastic endorsement of parents whose children attend Hogwarts.

"I feel much easier in my mind knowing that Mr. Dumbledore will be subject to a fair and objective evaluation", Lucius Malfoy, age 41, said last night from his Wiltshire mansion. "Many of us, with our children's best interests at heart, have become concerned about some of Mr. Dumbledore's more eccentric decisions of the past few years. We will rest easier knowing the Ministry will be keeping an eye on the school".

Among the "eccentric decisions" are the controversial appointments previously noted in this paper: the hiring of the half-giant, Rubeus Hagrid as the Care of Magical Creatures Professor over more qualified candidates, and the hiring last year of the delusional ex-auror: Alistair "Mad Eye" Moody as that year's Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Mad Eye, living up (down?) to his moniker, actually cast the Imperious Curse on his students. "So they would know what it feels like" – that's a direct quote – to justify this irresponsible and wreckless act. As is the enrolling of werewolves to the student body.

Rumours abound that Headmaster Dumbledore, former Supreme Mugwhump of the International Conference of Wizards and former Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, is no longer up to the heavy responsibility of managing Hogwarts. Not everyone is pleased with this development: Wizengamot Elders Griselda Marchebanks and Tiberius Ogden have resigned over the creation of the post of High Inquisitor.

"Hogwarts is a school", Madam Marchebanks explained, "not an extension of Cornelius Fudge's office. This is another disgusting attempt to discredit Albus Dumbledore, after everything he has done for us over the course of his career" (For a full account of Madam Marchebanks' alleged connection to subversive goblin groups, turn to Page 17)

Hogwarts: Great Hall

Terry Boot had just finished reading out loud the article at the Ravenclaw table.

"So that's how we got stuck with Umbridge", he said, "Fudge passed a decree".

"He's interfering with our school", Merissa Fawcett said. "It's an outrage!"

"Tell me about it", Ginny said as she looked at the feint outline of the words she was forced to slice into her writing hand. Snape's mertlap potion was still doing its work.

"Express an honest opinion, and Gin-gin gets the short end of the stick…"

"Horace!", Parvati Patil called out.

"You know what I mean", he grinned an evil grin.

"What's so funny?", Parvati asked.

"Just thinking about what happens if that cunt audits McGonagall – she'll tear Umbridge a new asshole".

"We'd better get going", Ginny said, "if she's auditing Binns' class, we don't want to be late".

Umbridge wasn't auditing Magical History, and the class was just as dull as last week's. It was amazing how Binns could make the story of giant wars so mind numbingly dull. At least having it first thing was the next best thing to sleeping in.

She also wasn't there for Double Potions.

Snape handed back the essays on the use of moonstones. Afterwards, he stood before the class.

"To say that I am disappointed would be an understatement", Snape drawled while glaring at his class. "The general quality of this homework was abysmal. I expect that you will do better on this week's essay on the varieties of venom antidotes. If I do not see improvement, I shall have to start giving detentions to all you dolts who earn D's.

"I have already mastered this subject, so it is not my future that's at stake here, but yours. Next year, you will be sitting your OWLs, and I can assure you that most of you would have failed had you turned this in for your exams. I would think you would be a bit more diligent about the quality of your work, considering what is at stake here.

"Today, you will be working on Strengthening Solution. Instructions on the black board…"

He tapped the board with his wand, and the instructions appeared.

"… Everything you need in the cupboard…

"And do try to get it right this time".

After Double Potions, it was lunch time.

"How'd the moonstone essay go?"

"Uhhhhh… don't ask".

"At least I didn't get a 'D'"

"Happy to get a 'A'"

Some of the comments swirling around the tables about Potions.

"So anyone been in an audited class?", Ginny asked.

"Just before lunch", Terry Boot said, "Charms".

"How'd that go?", Parvati asked.

"It went OK, you know how Flitwick is, treated her like a welcome guest. I highly doubt she'll be marking him down. She asked around, questions like 'How is the class?' and 'Does he make the subject clear and understandable?' and 'Does he come to class prepared?', stuff like that. Didn't seem too dreadful of an ordeal".

"So what do we have for this afternoon?", Terry asked.

"First Trelawney, then Umbridge herself", Merrisa said.

Ginny didn't have to wait until Defense to meet Umbridge since she whipped her ass. Everyone assembled in Trelawney's overly dark, hot, and heavily incensed room. Ginny had taken a table in the very back of the room. The trap door opened and the High Inquisitor herself appeared. All conversation silenced immediately.

The sudden silence got Trelawney's attention as she was distributing Dream Oracles.

"Good afternoon, Professor Trelawney", Umbridge greeted. "I trust you received my note about the time and date of your audit?"

Trelawney nodded curtly, and looking disgruntled, returned to distributing the books. Umbridge dragged an arm chair to the front of the room, right next to Trelawney's place, took out a clipboard from her flowery hand bag, and awaited the start of the class.

Trelawney adjusted her shawls and surveyed the class through those thick glasses that greatly magnified her eyes.

"We shall be continuing our module on dream interpretation", she explained, "I would like for you to pair off, and interpret each other's dreams of last night in accordance with the Oracle".

She tried faking that mystical voice, but there was a note of uncertainty there.

Parvati was already discussing with the Gryffindor girl: Alicia Spinnet. Terry Boot dropped into the seat opposite Ginny: "May I?", he asked.

"Don't know how much good it'll do you. I don't recall having any dreams last night".

"Just make something up", he whispered back, "she'll never know the difference".

"You first", she said.

Umbridge had her quill out and was taking notes on the clipboard. Trelawney headed for her desk, but seeing Umbridge sitting right next to it, she veered off, making like she was intending to see how Alicia and Parvati were doing.

After a few minutes, Umbridge got up to shadow Trelawney, listening to what she said to her students, pausing to ask questions of the students.

"Quick! Think of something in case the bitch comes back here", Terry told Ginny.

"I… dreamed I turned into a fox", Ginny said.

"OK, we need the time and date of that dream…"

"Last night, and, oh hell, say 3:00AM – the witching hour"

"Need the number of letters in the subject?"

"Three: F, O, X"

"But isn't that also 'Turned into a' a total of fourteen letters?"

"How the hell should I know?", Ginny complained, "three or fourteen, who the hell cares?"

("Hem, hem") Umbridge made that annoying, fake throat-clearing noise. Trelawney turned towards Umbridge, looking very put-out at the interruption.

"You've been teaching here for how long?"

"Nearly fourteen years", Trelawney answered.

"That's quite a long tenure. You were appointed by Headmaster Dumbledore?"

"That's right"

"You are a great granddaughter of the Seer: Cassandra Trelawney?"

"That's correct".

"According to my research, no one from your family since Cassandra's day seems to have inherited any of her abilities?"

"It skips generations, you know".

"Actually, I don't know", Umbridge said. "I find it hard to believe that you, after all this time, should be the heiress of Cassandra… Could you make a prediction for me?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"A prediction: you are the Divination Professor, are you not? One little prediction".

"The Inner Eye does not see on command!", Trelawney said, testily.

"I see", Umbridge said.

"Wait!", Trelawney called out, "I'm sensing something… Something dark… Something that concerns you… There is peril… You are in grave danger…"

"That will be all, Professor Trelawney", Umbridge dismissed. "You will receive the results of your audit in ten days. Good afternoon, Professor". Umbridge needed to cut this audit short as she had Defense after Divination.

Umbridge was at her desk as the students filed in.

"Good afternoon, class", she greeted.

"Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge", they answered as demanded.

"Wands away", she ordered, but few had their wands out. Mostly die-hards who still expected or hoped for actual magick.

"Since we finished the first chapter the last lesson, we will be continuing with chapter two: 'Common Defense Theories and their Derivation'. There will be no need for talking. Begin, page nineteen".

Draco flipped to the table of contents to see if there was enough to last through the term, and to his disappointment, he saw that there was more than enough for the rest of the year. He also noticed Ginny's hand in the air. She waited patiently.

"You had a question, Miss Weasley?", Umbridge finally asked.

"Professor, I've already read the chapter".

"Is that so? Then start with chapter three".

"Professor, I've read the entire book".

"Have you now? Then you should be able to tell us what Mr. Slinkhard says about jinxes in chapter fifteen".

"He said that the term 'counterjinx' is a misnomer, a euphemism that people call jinxes to justify to themselves the use of a jinx. He doesn't approve of jinxes". She avoided mentioning that she didn't agree with what Slinkhard wrote. A good jinx, at the right time, helped get the drop on any opponent.

Umbridge's eyebrows went up; she was impressed against her will.

"And what, exactly, do you want, Miss Weasley?"

"I would like to be excused. I'll turn in the homework, take the tests; other than that, there's really no reason to be here".

"Would you now, Miss Advanced Credit? Up here. Now".

Ginny came up to Umbridge's desk. Umbridge bent her over a knee, pulled up Ginny's robe, pulled down her trousers, and open palm swatted her bare butt in front of the class.

"For… A… Ravenclaw… You… Don't… Learn… Very… Well… Do… You?", emphasizing each word with a swat.

"Pull up your pants, pull down your robe, and sit down. And not another word from you. Oh, and ten points from Ravenclaw"

"What for?", came a call out.

"Your hand is not up, Mr. Corner", she reprimanded, still in that talk-down-to-the-students-faux-pleasant-little-girl-voice. "As if it were any of your business, for disrupting class with pointless interruption. Not another word, or its double homework to make up for the time you've cost the rest of the class".

Draco was already mentally composing his next message to Lucius. This time, let Luna use her one time pad, so he wouldn't be seen going up to the owlery too frequently.

Owlery Holt

"How is the new communique coming along?", Lucius asked.

"Putting the finishing touches on it", Sirius said.

"Got some very good news from Lucius", Harry said. "It's a strong case against the Umbridge bitch".

"New development from Luna", Lucius explained. "It would seem that our High Inquisitor has a personal animus for Ginny Weasley. Umbridge spanked her in front of the entire class. Be sure to include that in the final draft".

"I was wondering what we could do", Harry said, "to help the kids? When I was there, we got Lupin to tutor us when Quirrel was DADA prof".

"I've been wondering the same thing. I really don't know. We can't use Remus: he's too close to Dumbledore, too involved with the Order of the Phoenix. I don't know who else Dumbledore would accept, and given the reason for the installation of Umbridge as High Inquisitor, I highly doubt any outside help in DADA would be approved, even if the Bylaws allow it. We've already seen how fast and loose she is with those Bylaws".

Hogwarts: Care of Magical Creatures

Since it was a good day, one of the few remaining, the class would be held outdoors, by the Forbidden Forest.

"Today, we will be continuing with out module on bowtruckles", Professor Grubbly-Planc announced as she stood behind a trestle table where captive bowtruckles – looking like miniature stick-men – were scrambling for the wood lice that looked like wiggling strands of wild rice. These stick-men were the guardians of trees, especially those whose wood was of wand-making quality. Normally quite harmless, they would defend fiercely the trees they called home. If not careful, you could lose an eye while collecting sticks and branches for wand making if you didn't distract them with wood lice, or fairy eggs.

The previous session, the students familiarized themselves with the bowtruckles, and the assignment was to prepare a diagram of a bowtruckle, all anatomy labeled.

("Hem, hem") Everyone inwardly cringed.

"You don't usually teach this class, isn't that correct?", Umbridge asked.

"I'm standing in for Professor Hagrid, yes", she replied.

"Do you have any idea as to the reason behind Professor Hagrid's lengthy absence from his responsibilities as a Hogwarts Professor?"

"I'm afraid I'm as much in the dark as you are. The Headmaster has told me nothing. All I know is I received an owl asking if I would like to take the Care of Magical Creatures Professorship for two or more weeks, and I agreed. As for why Hagrid isn't available, I didn't ask. Shall I get started with today's lesson?"

"By all means", Professor.

Everyone was wondering why Umbridge would be conducting an audit of a substitute teacher – a substitute who might not even be around to get the results of her audit in ten days. Hagrid could easily be back by then.

"I don't like this", Ginny whispered to George. "No reason for auditing a temp".

"Unless she's trying to get her appointed permanently. Whatever's keeping him, he'd better get back here soon".

Umbridge was milling around, asking the students about magical creatures. They were answering quite well, demonstrating that Hagrid had done a good job while he was still here.

After a long discussion with Dean Thomas, Umbridge returned to Grubbly-Planc's side: "How do you, as a temporary member of the faculty, an objective outside observer, you might say, how do you find Hogwarts? Do you believe you are getting adequate support from the Headmaster?"

"Oh my yes", she replied heartily, "Headmaster Dumbledore is doing an excellent job managing Hogwarts. I'm quite happy with how Hogwarts is run, very happy indeed"

"Ummmm…", Umbridge said with polite incredulity as she made a note on her ever present clipboard.

"Were you to be appointed to this professorship long term, how would you proceed?"

"Well, the class has been well prepared. They've done modules on unicorns, nifflers. I would probably cover porlocks and kneazles; make sure they can recognize crups and knarles".

"I will say that you seem to know what you're doing", Umbridge said. The emphasis on you didn't escape the class.

"I have heard that there have been injuries during this class?", she asked Greg Goyle, who put on a stupid-looking grin to avoid answering the question.

"That would be me", Theodore Nott called out. "Damn hippogryph almost took my arm off".

"A hippogryph?", Umbridge was scribbling on her board.

"Only because he was too fucking stupid to follow simple instructions", Lee Jordan called out.

Umbridge turned slowly to him: "Ten points from Gryffindor for interrupting, and ten points for your filthy mouth. Another word from any of you and it will be detention".

"How about you, Mr. Malfoy, you were there?"

"Yes".

"And?", Umbridge prompted.

"I didn't have any problems with the hippogryph", he kept it to the bare minimum. It was obvious Umbridge wasn't expecting that answer.

"How about you, Miss Weasley? You don't seem to have a lack of opinions. What is your impression of Professor Hagrid?"

"No comment", she was afraid this was another set-up, and that there were no good answers to give.

"My Dear, when I ask you a question, I expect an answer".

"We of Ravenclaw believe that Professor Hagrid's one weakness is he places too much emphasis on making the class fun… Not that…"

"That's enough"

"That's all I need to know, Professor Grubbly-Planc, you will receive your evaluation in ten days' time".

"Jolly good!"

Hogwarts: Transfiguration

Umbridge was already there, sitting at a desk in the back of the classroom, as everyone arrived ahead of Professor McGonagall. She arrived a couple of minutes after everyone was seated.

"Lee, would you hand back the essays from last session?', she requested of Lee Jordan. He came forward to accept the stack of graded papers to hand out.

"Alicia?", she came forward to be handed a box of mice. "Don't be like that", McGoangall told her, "they won't bite. Hand one to every student", she requested.

So far, McGonagall didn't acknowledge Umbridge's presence.

"We will be continuing our lessons on the Vanishing Charm. Most of you have successfully vanished snails, though a few of you left behind bits of shell. Still, I believe all of you have gotten the gist of the charm. Simple animals, like snails which are invertebrates, are easier to Vanish than a more complex animal like a mouse. I warn you in advance, that you will have to concentrate a bit harder, and I don't mean on dinner…"

Today, Transfiguration was the last class of the day.

("Hem, hem")

"… Vanishing the more complex does require extra concentration as you prepare to cast. You already know the incantation and wand movement. Have you all received a mouse?"

("Hem, hem") Umbridge did that fake throat-clear, more insistently this time.

"What?!", McGonagall finally replied testily. Her eyebrows so close together they seemed to form one severe line.

"You have received your note naming the date and time of your audit?", Umbridge asked.

"Obviously I have", McGonagall said, "otherwise I would have asked you what you are doing in my classroom".

Students were exchanging looks of glee: McGonagall wasn't going to disappoint.

"As I was explaining, the vanishment of mice is a bit more challenging than snails…"

("Hem, hem")

McGonagall turned sharply to face Umbridge: "I don't see how you are going to understand my usual teaching methods if you keep interrupting me", she said with a cold fury. "I generally do not permit people to talk while I am talking".

The verbal smack-down hit Umbridge as well as a physical one would have. She adjusted the parchment and kept quiet.

"As I was trying to explain, you will need to get your minds off dinner and your rest of the evening plans if you are to succeed with today's assignment".

Perhaps Umbridge, for once, was facing an intimidating opponent. She didn't follow McGonagall around, nor did she interview students during the class. She remained in her corner, scribbling notes on her board.

When McGonagall called the close of the lesson, Alicia collected bits and pieces of partially vanished mice. As they were filing out, only then did Umbridge approach McGonagall.

"For how long have you been a Professor?", Umbridge asked.

"Thirty seven years this December", she replied.

"Very well, you will receive your evaluation in ten days' time".

"I can hardly wait", McGonagall replied with heavy sarcasm and a cold indifference.

0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Hogwarts: Great Hall

The morning owls came as usual, however, it became obvious that something was up. The owls came, thick and fast, and the pile of owlposts landing at the staff table grew ever higher.

The buzz around the hall grew in intensity.

"Da fuck?", Ron said at the Gryffndor table.

"No idea", Fred replied.

He soon had his answer as Luna was edging along the wall. She slipped something into Fred's hands. He skimmed a few pages, handed it to George.

"That explains it", Fred said.

"What?!", Ron asked, as he was always the last to know.

"Little Sis would make James green with envy…", Fred said. "I honestly didn't think she had it in her, pulling a prank like this".

"Queen of the pranksters", George agreed.

"Mr. Filch", Dumbledore ordered, "would you please close the windows so we can get on with serving".

"Right away", he said as he went for a ladder and the tool to close the high windows that admitted the morning owls.

"What's happened?", Minerva McGonagall asked. It was seldom she'd seen such a swarm of owls.

Dumbledore tore open an envelope, then another, and another…

"It would seem some folks out there are somewhat less than pleased with our High Inquisitor", he said as he handed her and the rest of the faculty a letter.

"Where's that little bitch?!", a red-faced Dolores Umbridge was storming through the halls.

"There you are!", she caught up with Ginny at the base of Ravenclaw Tower. "Come with me this instant!"

"What…"

"You damn well know what you did! Don't deny it! I'm gonna rip the hide right off your ass!", she threatened. There was no pretense about that faux-pleasant voice. She had one hand tightly around Ginny's arm, and a rattan cane in the other.

"Please!", Ginny said. "I… I… Ididn'tdoanything!"

Outside her office, she was confronted by Minerva McGonagall. Pomona Sprout, Severus Snape and Filius Flitwick.

Haven't you done enough damage?", McGonagall asked. Mouth very thin, and looking more hawkish than ever.

"You – all of you – are interfering with a Ministry official! I'll have your jobs for this! This means Azkaban!"

Umbridge went for her wand, but Snape was faster on the draw. His wand, inches from her face.

"Give… Me… A… Reason", he drawled. A murderous fury radiated from those black eyes. "Please…"

"Severus, put it away", Dumbledore was arriving. "Minerva, would you see Miss Weasley to your office, while I discuss the matter with the High Inquisitor".

"Come, My Dear", Minerva offered a hand; Umbridge let her go.

"Shall we?", Dumbledore invited.

12 Grimmauld Pl.

"They're at it again", Moody said, "the latest from the Order of the Otter"

Everyone had a copy of the pamphlets that were showing up at Flourish and Blotts, and all over Magical Britain in news racks with a replication charm to prevent Ministry thugs from simply taking all the copies. The more they took, the faster they replicated.

IS TORTURE AN "EDUCATIONAL REFORM"?

As you are undoubtedly aware, the main use of the Blood Quill is the signing of contracts, last wills and testaments, depositions, and other important legal documents. These quills were never intended to be instruments of torture of school children.

Yet, that is exactly how the newest Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts – and lately the High Inquisitor – Dolores Umbridge is putting a Blood Quill to use. Miss Generva Weasley, Hogwarts student, was recently forced to use such a quill to do "lines" during a detention.

(Picture of Ginny displaying her bleeding hand)

Even this was not enough to satisfy the High Inquisitor. Umbridge then proceeded to cane the unfortunate student. The reason for the caning? Miss Weasley dared to express an honest opinion during a Defense Against the Dark Arts class.

(Picture of Ginny's welted buttocks)

It has also come to our attention that these punishments are motivated by a personal animus towards Miss Weasley. The latest outrage was the bare ass spanking she received in front of the entire class.

One of her classmates: "Umbridge spanked Ginny for saying she read our text completely. And asking to be excused from sitting in a classroom where she'd already done the work expected of us. She insulted Ginny, calling her "Miss Advanced Credit". We all heard her; we will swear to it".

Miss Generva Weasley has been skipped forward one year as she earned the advanced placement credits for the promotion. Since when has doing the assigned class work been a justification for the humiliation of being bare ass spanked in front of one's peers and classmates?

Though corporal punishment is not prohibited, we quote the Bylaws:

Article Eight (Student Code of Conduct)

Section Seventeen (In School Discipline)

Clauses Six – Eight (Corporal Punishment)

Any Professor recommending corporal punishment of any student shall inform the Head of House of said student. It shall be the responsibility of the Head of House to inform the Headmaster/Headmistress of the recommended punishment. The Headmaster/Headmistress shall inform said student's parents or legal guardian of said punishment.

Any student so recommended for corporal punishment shall have the right of appeal to his/her Head of House, the Headmaster/Headmistress. The Board of Governors shall have the right to make the final determination of the student's case.

Said student shall present himself/herself to the Caretaker for the administration of said punishment, witnessed by said student's Head of House.

It is clear that the Bylaws were not only not followed in Miss Weasley's case, but that the High Inquisitor flouted those very laws put in place for the protection and well-being of Hogwarts students.

Therefore, we of the Order of the Otter demand the following:

1) Headmaster Dumbledore shall resign immediately for cause of dereliction of duty to ensure that Hogwarts policy is followed.

2) Failing the resignation of Headmaster Dumbledore, we call on the Board of Governors to convene a special council for the termination for cause of Mr. Dumbledore.

3) We demand the immediate recall of High Inquisitor Umbridge.

4) We demand that the Wizengamot convene a special session for the investigation of High Inquisitor Umbridge's criminal conduct.

5) We demand that the Wizengamot rescind Minister Fudge's "Educational Decrees", that the Minister's Office cease and desist from usurping the authority of the Board of Governors.

We recommend to the parents of current Hogwarts students, and the parents of future students, send owlposts to Headmaster Dumbledore demanding that their children be opted out of any corporal punishments. Do keep your posts respectful.

Copies should also be sent to:

High Inquisitor Umbridge c/o Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Junior Undersecretary Percy Weasley c/o the Ministry of Magic

Madam Chairman Augusta Longbottom, c/o the Board of Governors

We recommend that graduates of Hogwarts cancel donations and place a hold on endowments so long as High Inquisitor Umbridge remains at Hogwarts.

We, of the Order of the Otter, thank you for your consideration.

"This Order of the Otter just handed Albus over to Fudge on a sliver platter", Mad Eye said. "It wouldn't surprise me if Fudge himself wasn't behind the whole damned thing. If he wasn't, he couldn't've ordered up a better excuse to get rid of the only person who stands between Hewhomustnotbenamed and total capitulation".

"Are you saying…", Molly began, "… that he should have done nothing? While that evil woman did this to Ginny?"

"Yes!", said Mad Eye. "There are more important things at stake here than Ginny's sore butt! I understand maternal instincts, but no ass whipping never done no kid no harm. Muggle kids behaved much better back when they got the cane".

"And Blood Quills that… disfigure… Ginny…", Molly melted down into a puddle of tears.

"That's quite enough, Alistair", Dumbledore said. "Just how many Hogwarts students are you willing to sacrifice? One? Ten? A hundred?"

"This is war…", Mad Eye said.

"Children are not collateral damage!", Tonks exclaimed.

"Everybody: just calm down", Lupin called out. "Let's figure this out. It's obvious now that they have agents within Hogwarts, but who? What was their motivation?"

"I already told you…", Mad Eye began.

"It serves no good to be jumping to conclusions. That was Cornelius' big mistake. Let us not repeat it", Dumbledore said. "I agree: it makes my position a bit more precarious: Cornelius could find an excuse to remove me, that is true. However, I doubt he will. As they pointed out, his High Inquisitor did not follow the Bylaws. Ms. Umbridge did use a Blood Quill as a means of inflicting unnecessary torment on a thirteen year old girl. Cornelius isn't stupid, not by any means, and that will come out should he pursue any attempts to remove me from Hogwarts".

"They have it in for Fudge?", Tonks offered. "They know, as well as we, that Fudge is the problem. Umbridge is well known as his First Secretary, after all. He was so proud of his educational reforms, so figuring on using the state of Hogwarts as a distraction. Removing that distraction can only serve our cause".

"I think we shouldn't discount the possibility that their concerns for the kids is genuine", Hestia Jones offered. "Fudge made a bad choice with Umbridge. We all know she was sent there to take down Albus. This can work in our favour if it helps rid us of Umbridge".

"Nonsense!", thundered Mad Eye, "if that were the case, then they wouldn't be calling for Dumbledore's resignation or termination!"

"Mad Eye, not everything is a conspiracy", Tonks reminded. "In all honesty, I'm glad they called attention to what Fudge is doing…"

"It's a distraction! What does calling attention to internal Hogwarts business have to do with opposing the Dark Lord?!"

"Everything", she reminded, "Fudge can only discredit Albus so long as he has the confidence of the public. How much confidence do you think they'll have now? Especially when the Prophet tries to downplay and memory hole the incident? As for why they would call for Albus' resignation, how would it look if they hadn't? If they remained silent? After all, Albus is responsible for everything that goes on at Hogwarts".

"Indeed, I am. I am considering resigning…", Dumbledore said.

"Surely you jest", Mad Eye said.

"No, Alistair, I am not. Were I to resign, it would lend credibility to what the Order of the Otter wrote. This would likely lead to a vote of No Confidence, and the end of Cornelius' office. On the other hand, he would undoubtedly appoint Umbridge as Headmistress, and there is no limit as to the danger this would mean for the students. We have already seen how unhinged Ms Umbridge is. I expect that after a decent interval, Cornelius will replace her with another High Inquisitor.

"Alistair, now is not the time to panic. As for the Order of the Otter, they did the right thing. As for the High Inquisitor, I have had a good long talk with her, made it clear to her that she is not to use Blood Quills and she follows the Bylaws. Furthermore, I have taken into consideration the wishes of those parents, and they are the majority overwhelmingly who do not want their children subjected to such punishments".

0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

London: Ministry of Magic

"You sent for me?", Dolores Umbridge said as she entered Cornelius Fudge's office. "What's so urgent that it couldn't wait for an owl?"

"Yes, Dolores, I did. I gave you a simple assignment and three objectives: get something we can use to have Dumbledore dismissed, purge the faculty of Dumbledore's charity cases, and prevent any combat training…

"How could you FUCK this up?!"

"I… don't understand…"

"A Blood Quill! A bloody Blood Quill! For the love of Merlin, what the FUCK were you thinking?!"

"How else am I to be respected by these kids? That Weasley girl told the whole class that Youknowwho was back! She contradicted me when I said it was a lie!"

"Three. Simple. Objectives. Dolores: I don't give a damn whether they respect you or not. If you felt it necessary, an ordinary detention with lines done with a regular quill would have been more than sufficient. You have no idea what you've done here, do you?"

He didn't wait for an answer.

"You have made my position that much more difficult. Percy has been receiving letters all morning demanding that you be dismissed, and that their children not be subjected to the Blood Quill or ass whippings. Dumbledore will, of course, grant their requests. He will come out of this more popular than ever.

"I can't recall you, much as I would like to, because I can not be seen to be giving in to this Order of the Otter".

"Those kids…"

"You will forget those kids, Dolores! You will return to Hogwarts, and you will do nothing to Miss Weasley; you will make no attempt to discover who told this Order of the Otter. If they do anything the least bit disrespectful you will ignore it!

"I have my contacts with the Prophet doing damage control. And I do not need any further provocations on your part. You will carry out your objectives, and you will not mistreat any student regardless of how disrespectful they are to you.

"Am I making myself clear here?"

"Yes, Mr. Minister".

MYSTERY GROUP MAKES ACCUSATIONS, ISSUES DEMANDS

"There is no denying that a mysterious organization has leveled serious accusations against the new High Inquisitor of Hogwarts, sent to implement the Ministry's educational initiatives.

"The Ministry will not allow a small, but vocal, group of malcontents to dictate policy", says Junior Undersecretary Percy Weasley. "If these accusations held any validity, then why do our accusers hide behind the name: Order of the Otter? What does that even mean? If they don't have the courage to face us directly, then why should we take any of their overblown demands the least bit seriously? As we have no idea as to who they are, how are we to answer them? Are we not entitled to face our accusers?

"We have no evidence that High Inquisitor Umbridge 'abused' the student in question. Not a word from any member of the faculty, including Miss Weasley's Head of House, Mr. Filius Flitwick, and certainly not from the Headmaster himself. More and more, this is looking like a case of a student who was punished for her misbehaviour, and decided to take it out on those with legitimate authority over her, including the authority to punish. If High Inquisitor Umbridge is guilty of anything, it is being a strict disciplinarian. Is this a bad quality in an educator? Mr. Fudge doesn't believe so.

"We have known for years that one of the problems that afflicts Hogwarts is the lax discipline, and over indulgence on the part of the faculty. To correct the problem, strict discipline may be required temporarily, including the paddling, caning, and spanking of misbehaving students".

Madam Chairman Augusta Longbottom: "I have read the pamphlet from the Order of the Otter, and the accusations are indeed serious ones. However, with no ability to hear testimony, there is nothing the Board is prepared to do, let alone dismiss the Headmaster, based on what amounts to hear-say, second hand, evidence. Even if one or more members of this group were to come forward, the Board does not admit hear-say testimony. The authors of this pamphlet are under the impression that the Board of Governors is some sort of Star Chamber. I can assure you: it is nothing of the sort. Without the ability of the accused to face his accusers, there can be no hearings".

We, the editors of the Daily Prophet, advise the public to pay no attention to these rumours spread by those who don't have the courage or conviction to come forward with accusations of malfeasance at Hogwarts – or anywhere else, for that matter.

Hogwarts: Headmaster's Office

"Molly, Arthur, I've been expecting you", Dumbledore greeted as Arthur and Molly Weasley flooed to Dumbledore's office.

"Albus, how could you…", Molly began.

"I am truly sorry", Dumbledore apologized. "I knew nothing about it, as Ginny didn't see fit to come to me. You have to understand, there is very little I can do. Cornelius has taken the control of the school from my hands. I think we already knew that, as he believes I would actually use Defense Against the Dark Arts to train up a children's crusade against the Ministry itself.

"Despite the precariousness of my position, I would never allow the abuse of any of my students, or allow any student to be used as a pawn in Cornelius' schemes. I would resign and take it to the public myself. I must ask: what do you know about this Order of the Otter? Arthur? Molly?"

"Only what I know from seeing their pamphlets", Molly said.

"I wonder why did Ginny fail to confide in me that Ms Umbridge used a Blood Quill to make her do lines? I can only answer that question by assuming she is involved with this Order of the Otter, or that she is close to those who are. That they have eyes and ears here in the castle is a given. How else would they obtain those pictures? Where, and why, did she acquire such a distrust in me? I think you know".

"We know…"

"Arthur!"

"We can't tell you anything, we owe a Life Debt to the Order of the Otter", Arthur explained.

"This would be on the occasion of Ginny's near death from Tom Riddle's diary?"

"They sent someone to the Burrow after we took Ginny home to – we believed – die in peace. Someone who knew what to do when no one else did. That someone saved Ginny's life, and asked in return that we tell you nothing. They don't trust you, and to be frank about it, we are this close (thumb and finger together) to doing the same", Arthur explained.

"What, may I ask, brought this on?"

"Your manipulation of Harry Potter, that you would use that boy as a weapon against Youknowwho. Oh yes, Albus, we know about the prophecy – the prophecy you failed to ever mention at any time while you were at the Burrow, or at Headquarters", Molly added.

"There is a reason why I didn't mention the prophecy", Dumbledore explained. "Lord Voldemort knows about the prophecy, however, he heard only a part of it, not the prophecy in its entirety. It is critical that he not know, and the fewer people who know about it, the less chance Voldemort has to discover it. He wouldn't hesitate to torture anyone he suspected of knowing. This is why I haven't mentioned it. Keeping it secure is one of our top priorities.

"It was for this cause that Sturgis Podmore is doing six months in Azkaban, why he declined to put up a legal defense for the charges of trespass and attempted breaking and entering. He attempted to break into the Hall of Prophecies, not to take the prophecy, but to destroy it to keep Voldemort from taking it, which he can as the prophecy concerns him just as much as Harry Potter. This is why Arthur is doing his part patrolling the corridor outside the Department of Mysteries".

"That's why you haven't been coming home?", Molly asked.

"Yes, Dear, though I had no idea what I was protecting".

"Minerva, would you show them in"

McGonagall went to the door: "You can come in now"

Professor Flitwick and Ginny entered the office.

"Mom, Dad?", she asked.

Molly gave the girl a smothering hug: "Ginny, so sorry… So… Sorry…"

"It's OK, Mom. I'm all right…"

"What that foul woman did to you…"

"Are you OK?", Arthur asked, "Really OK? Please be honest with us. We can take it".

"Yes, I'm OK. Professor Snape gave me a potion to remove the scars and stop the pain".

"Thank Merlin", Molly said, "I was afraid that evil woman might have scarred you for life".

"Mr, Mrs Weasley", Flitwick said, "I'm afraid it's all my fault".

"How do you mean?", Arthur asked.

"I told Ginny that it would do no good to take the matter of the Blood Quill to the Headmaster. It's that Umbridge woman: Fudge sent her here to usurp the Headmaster's authority. I believed I was doing the right thing by not making more trouble for my student. I see now that I was wrong. I'm sorry".

"I have seen to it that Ginny will be left alone, that Umbridge won't attempt to get even. As Ginny has completed the work Professor Umbridge assigned the class, she is excused from further classes, unless it's to take exams. You need not have any fear that there will be more incidents, as I am separating Ginny from Ms. Umbridge to the fullest extent I am able".

"We appreciate that, Albus".

"Thank you, Professor", Ginny said.

"You are quite welcome, Miss Weasley"

"One other thing, Arthur", Dumbledore requested. "I assume that you have been in contact with the Order of the Otter – no need to answer – would you propose that they join forces with us. They have resources we do not, and I suspect that would include Amelia Bones and her aurors. We have resources they do not. It would be to our mutual benefit were we to work together".

The next day in the Great Hall, Umbridge approached Ginny, a copy of Is Torture an Educational Reform in hands shaking with rage.

"How you could… how you dare…", it was obvious she was furious. She took a deep breathe to compose herself: "I have tried, again and again, to teach you not to tell lies. It would seem the message is not sinking in. Fifty points from Ravenclaw, and another week of detention, starting at 5:00 this evening".

"No, I won't", Ginny replied.

"You won't what?", Umbridge asked, incredulous at this show of defiance.

"In accordance with the Bylaws, I shall inform my Head of House that I am contesting your detention. I am furthermore prepared to take the matter all the way to the Board. Until I receive a ruling, I am not obliged to do any detentions".

"You little…"

Ginny cringed and ducked as Umbridge drew back a hand. She thought better of delivering the slap across the face.

"Another fifty points from Ravenclaw for your insolence".

"Is there a problem?", Dumbledore asked as he'd left the staff table.

"Headmaster, now that you are here, I am informing you that I am contesting the detention the High Inquisitor just gave me. If you would inform Professor Flitwick for me".

"That is, of course, your right", Dumbledore informed them. "What has Miss Weasley done that warrants a detention?"

"This!", Umbridge thrust the Order of the Otter pamphlet at Dumbledore.

"I see… did you, perhaps, confiscate that pamphlet from Miss Weasley?"

She hesitated, considering lying about it, but one look confirmed that everyone sitting at the Ravenclaw table was paying them their undivided attention. Too many potential witnesses who would say that Ginny hadn't had the pamphlet on her.

"No, but…"

"Has Miss Weasley been distributing them here in the Great Hall?"

"No, but…"

"Then I fail to see any justification for giving Miss Weasley any detention, as she has done nothing wrong".

"But she told them!"

"I know no such thing, but even if she had, that is not worthy of a detention so long as freedom of speech exists. There are no rules governing with whom any student may or may not talk".

"There is the matter of her insolent behaviour!"

"Availing herself of the provisions of the Bylaws is not insolence. There is no cause for assigning Miss Weasley detention, and I declare this detention null and void".

"I will take this up with the Ministry Dumbledore".

"That is, of course, your right, but I would advise against it. You will not prevail, and I think we know that".

Umbridge turned and slammed the door to the Great Hall behind her. As soon as she did, the tables erupted in raucous cheering. Ginny returned to the Ravenclaw table to back slaps, hair mussing, and congratulations…

"Si-Lence!", Dumbledore called out.

When the noise died down: "All of you will show the High Inquisitor the respect that is due her office. Another disgraceful display, and it will be I who assigns the detentions. Is that clear?"

Regardless of what Dumbledore said, Ginny was greeted for the rest of the day with thumbs up and high-fives. That evening, she returned to Ravenclaw Tower to a hero's welcome.

By mid-morning, new signs had gone up all over Hogwarts, not just on the bulletin boards in the common rooms, but in the corridors and the classrooms.

By order of

The High Inquisitor

Any student found in possession of any publication from

The Order of the Otter will be summarily expelled.

The above is in accordance with Educational Decree Twenty Four

Signed:

Dolores Jane Umbridge

High Inquisitor

The only thing Umbridge accomplished was to call attention that the Order of the Otter existed, for those who had never heard of it, and to the pamphlet that vexed her so. Students who had copies passed them around to their friends who didn't. They quoted passages, especially about the Bylaws, and how they had the right of appeal that they hadn't known about before. This while waiting for class to begin, or friends gathered into small groups that went silent whenever any professors came near.

Meanwhile, Umbridge was stalking the school, stopping students at random in the hallways, demanding they turn out pockets and book bags. The students were, however, a step ahead. Copies of Is Torture an Educational Reform were bewitched to look like ordinary class notes. Or parchment with the pamphlet reproduced looking like blank sheets to anyone other than the owner.

It had become obvious that Umbridge had lost the confidence of the faculty when, during Herbology, Professor Sprout awarded Ravenclaw twenty points after Michael Corner filled a watering can for her.

In Transfigurations, McGonagall awarded Ravenclaw twenty points when Alexis Goldstein volunteered to distribute the mice.

In Potions, Snape awarded Ravenclaw two points for each Ravenclaw student who received a grade of 'A' or better for their essays (that was all of them). Two more points for both Ravenclaw and the House of any other student with a passing grade or better.

By the last class of the day, Ravenclaw had more than made up for the 100 points Umbridge docked the House. There was also the fact that the professors were telling their students about what they'd heard coming from the Headmaster and from the Ministry. No, there was no possibility that Dumbledore would be dismissed. Madam Longbottom had seen to that, and there would be no hearing. No, Umbridge was not going to be recalled, Fudge wasn't going to capitulate to the demands of some anonymous group. Yes, corporal punishment was out of the question: Dumbledore was not going to approve (much to Filch's disappointment) this was the one concession the Minister was willing to make to the Order. So far, it looked like the Minister was reining in his High Inquisitor.

As they were leaving yet another DADA lesson that was little more than a quiet study hall, Luna said: "Yannow, this is such a waste of time, I wouldn't mind getting my ass whipped if it got me out of class. We'd do better learning by ourselves", she said in that dreamy, like she wasn't all there, manner.

"You just might be onto something", Draco said. "Maybe give this some more thought".

Hogwarts: Slytherin Common Room

Draco, Luna, Millicent, Greg, and Blaise were together at one of the tables.

"What were you saying about learning Defense on our own?", Draco asked for more details.

"I dunnow", Luna began, "I was just thinking out loud. I really didn't mean anything by it".

"I still think it's a good idea", Draco said. "We can't do any worse for ourselves than the big, fat nothing Umbitch is giving us".

"So how would we go about learning Defense on our own?", Greg Goyle asked. "Hire a tutor? Opt out of Umbridge's class?"

"That won't work", Millicent objected, "you know why Umbridge is here? To prevent us from learning any defense, I highly doubt she would let us hire tutors, no matter how sympathetic Dumbledore would be to the idea".

"We have to do something", Blaise said, "I sit OWLs this year. How can I expect to pass the practicals if I haven't practiced defense all year? How do we do this? Books from the library about jinxes and counter spells? Book learning isn't the same as doing. We'd need someone who knows and would be willing to show us what we're doing right and what we're not".

"How 'bout Ginny?", Luna offered a suggestion. "Remember last year? How she dropped Mad Eye in his own class? The whole school was talking about it".

"Would she? Ginny's also at the head of Umbridge's shit list", Blaise pointed out. "She may very well decline, and I, for one, wouldn't blame her.

"The other major problem is where would we practice? An unused classroom, but then Umbridge would surely discover what we're doing the first time she sees all of us going into a supposedly vacant classroom".

"That's the least of our problems", Draco said, "there's a hidden room right here in the castle, up on the seventh floor…"

"No shit?", Greg asked.

"None", Draco said, "you know that tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy? It's opposite that. I'll betcha Umbitch knows nothing about it".

"Who do we get, though?"

"I know some people", Draco said, "I'll ask around…"

"The Order of the Otter?", Millicent whispered.

"I didn't say that", Draco said. "Why would…"

"You have a thing for Ginny, then Umbridge has her slicing her hand with that Blood Quill, she gets her ass whipped black and blue, and then this Order puts out a pamphlet telling everyone all about it. Not too hard to figure, Draco".

"Umbitch hasn't, so keep that to yourself".

"I think", Luna said, "if we're going to do this, we should bring in anyone who wants to learn. Blaise isn't the only one sitting OWLs this year".

"The whole fucking school?", Greg objected, "you really are Looney, Luna".

"We have a Hogsmeade weekend coming up", Draco pointed out, "I suggest we wait, discuss it at that time, less chance of anyone's finding out. I suggest the Hogs Head, no one goes there. Give me time to ask around, find us an instructor".