It was Valentine's Day in Gotham City and everyone was busy on dates or ordering pizza for themselves. What they didn't know was that even the villains celebrated it.

"What's the plan for today, puddin'? Are we gonna prank Batman? Go out to dinner? Watch a movie?" Harley asked.

Joker smirked at her and said, "Well, since today's Valentine's Day, I was thinking about having fun as usual."

She grinned and clapped her hands in excitement. They always had so much fun together!

"I say that the first thing we do is give each other gifts and then we do something super fun!"

Joker nodded before grabbing a bouquet of roses nearby.

"Happy Valentine's Day, pumpkin pie."

"Aww, puddin'! You shouldn't have!" Harley said before getting sprayed in the face with the flowers.

Joker laughed and said, "Gotcha!"

Harley smirked at him and gave him a box of chocolates.

"Two can play at this game, Mr. J."

With that, Joker opened the box, only to get punched by a massive glove that popped out of chocolates.

"Oh, Harley…I love you, babe."

The two laughed about their gifts. Now, all they had to do was to perform crimes and have lots of fun…


Riddler quickly lit the candles on the table and adjusted the plates as he waited for Penguin to show up. He already showered him with gifts, even if it annoyed his husband, so all that was left was a nice romantic dinner.

Soon enough, Penguin arrived as he gazed at the setup.

"You didn't have to do more than what you already did today, Ed." he said as he sat across from him.

"I know, but you mean everything to me." Riddler said before gesturing to the plates. "And I made you peanut butter sandwiches, your favorite."

Penguin took a bite out of the sandwich and gave his husband a small smile.

"You have me convinced. Nice job…"

Riddler smiled while eating his sandwich. How he loved him…

"Aww, thank you, Pengy. You can be so kind when you want to."

Penguin shrugged before placing a pastry box onto the table, saying, "For my Valentine's Day present, I had Patricia make something special for you, so I hope you like it."

His husband excitedly took the box from him and opened it, grinning at the treats inside.

"You had her make me chocolate truffles? Pengy, you're so sweet!" Riddler said, giving him a kiss.

Penguin continued to eat his sandwich.

"No pun intended, I guess?"

Riddler's smile grew larger while he started to shove some of the truffles into his mouth.

"No puns at all."

The two then continued their dinner.


"I hate you so much, Ivy…" Two Face said while flicking leaves off of his suit.

Being forced into a date with her was the last thing he wanted. All that the former DA wanted to do was possibly hang out with Mr. Freeze, but upon remembering what day it was, he knew that the icy scientist was probably sulking in his lab and talking to his frozen wife.

"Come on, Harvey! I enjoy being in the greenhouse and just casually hanging out." Ivy said as she put her hands on his shoulders.

He grumbled in response and began to flip his coin over and over again. How did everyone else deal with her? Suddenly, he heard music and groaned to himself.

Music Meister came into the room playing the guitar and smiled at them while Ivy laughed.

"Oh hell no!" Two Face said.

"Sha-la-la-la-la-la my, oh my! Look at that boy's too shy! He ain't gonna kiss the girl!" Music Meister said.

"You're so ridiculous, Dennis…" Ivy said as she rolled her eyes.

"Sha-la-la-la-la-la, ain't that sad? Ain't it a shame, too bad. You're gonna miss the girl…" Music Meister said, playing his guitar.

Two Face flipped his coin and it landed on tails, so he responded by smacking him in the face and saying, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"You have no appreciation for music…" Music Meister said under his breath, fixing his glasses and leaving.

Ivy shrugged and laughed upon seeing the scene. Two Face slammed the palm of his hand against his face before grumbling to himself. This was going to be a long day…


Catwoman stood on the rooftops and gazed out at the city, waiting for Batman. She fiddled with her whip in boredom to keep herself from going off to rob a jewelry store. A THUNK was heard behind her as she smirked and put her whip away.

"Nice that you were able to show up, Bats…" she said.

"I only took out some low level thugs, so I'm free until the commissioner and the captain have any other criminal for me to take out." Batman said while standing next to her.

Catwoman leaned against the wall while Batman crossed his arms, closely watching the sky for the Bat Signal.

"Tonight's nice, I guess."

"It sure is. Honestly, I'm glad to spend Valentine's Day up here with you."

Batman stared up and saw the Bat Signal shining in the sky.

"It must be that the Baker is at it again…she's always doing this around today and the holiday season." he said. "Sorry, I have to go."

Catwoman kissed him and said, "Go get 'em, tiger."

Batman gave her a salute before running off across the rooftops. She gave him a thumbs up as he went in the direction of the GCPD Headquarters.


"…And that is why I don't consider the relationship between Noah and Allie as romantic." Bookworm said as he threw the book behind him.

"Oh dear, I can see why…" Mad Hatter said, drinking his tea. "I can't possibly imagine fighting with my love over little things."

Scarecrow sighed to himself and slammed his book shut, saying, "And yet, people still love them together even though it's abuse on both a physical and mental level…"

He growled, taking off his glasses and covering his face.

"What's his problem?" Bookworm asked Mad Hatter.

"I believe he's upset that Harley is spending the day with Joker rather than him." he said. "I'll talk to him."

He moved over towards his best friend while Bookworm sighed and picked up another book. They HAD to get this book club meeting done somehow…

"What do you want, Jervis?" Scarecrow asked as he tapped his glasses on his leg.

"I wanted to make you feel better, so feel free to talk out everything with me." Mad Hatter said.

"It's Harley." his best friend said. "I have no idea what she sees in that clown…"

Mad Hatter sipped his tea and slowly nodded, slightly feeling jealous. He wasn't sure what to say to comfort him.

"You're lonely because today's Valentine's Day and that's okay. Who needs a girlfriend when you have friends?" he asked.

Scarecrow put his glasses back on and turned to Bookworm, saying, "Sorry about all that, Ian. Continue your analysis."

"About time…" Bookworm said. "Allow me to tell you all why Lolita is NOT a love story."

Everyone shivered as he took out the book and opened it.