No fucking way!
Hermione glared at the book that Theo had given her a week ago and despite being a natural lover of all things educational, the thought of reading antiquated rubbish on courting rites, made Hermione want to literally incinerate something.
Or someone.
Hmmm...now there's a thought!
'Pureblood customs, courting and betrothals' might as well be called 'Arse backwards: the slow death of feminism.'
Okay? So the book had some interesting points interspersed with utter Pureblood misogyny...but the more learned points?
...Young ladies' attire.-Situation in the world determines among ladies those differences which, though otherwise well-marked, are becoming less so every day. Every one knows that whatever be the fortune of a young lady, her dress ought always, in form as well as ornaments, to exhibit less of a recherché appearance, and should be less showy than that of married ladies. Costly cashmeres, very rich furs, and diamonds, as well as many other brilliant ornaments, are to be forbidden a young lady; and those who act in defiance of these rational marks of propriety make us believe that they are possessed of an unrestrained love of luxury, and deprive themselves of the pleasure of receiving those ornaments from the hand of the man of their choice at some future day...
So that one wasn't so bad, but it only got better from there...
...Many of the diseases to which the delicate and youthful of the female sex are peculiarly liable, and by which so many of them are hurried into the grave in the spring-time of their existence, may be traced to impropriety of dress: either in preventing, by its unnatural tightness and inconvenient form, the proper growth of the body, and the natural and free play of its various parts and organs, or to a want of caution in accommodating it to the temperature of the season, and to the various and rapid vicissitudes of the weather...
But her absolute favorite had to be...
...whether your pretensions to learning are well founded or not; the simple fact that you aim to appear learned, that you deal much in allusion to the classics, or the various departments of science, with an evident intention to display your familiarity with them, will be more intolerable than absolute ignorance...
WHAT THE FUCK!
She was going to find Theodore Nott and strangle his scrawny neck—then...she was going to hunt down Draco sodding Malfoy and stick his blonde ferrety face into a cauldron of bubotuber pus mixed with live leeches and a smidgeon of Snargaluff stump, just because it would be a fucking hoot to see him get choked by a venomous plant!
Did people really still believe in this shite?!
Her expression was thunderous as she stomped her way down into the Gryffindor common room, book in hand. Harry, who had immediately smiled upon seeing her initially, frowned and then ran out the common room door like a coward...
Apparently brotherly affection only went so far...
Slamming out of the common room, Hermione stomped down towards the Great Hall where dinner was being served. She'd spent all Sunday afternoon reading this shite, and by Gods! She wanted to hex someone good and proper.
From the fourth to the third landing, the staircase shifted and Hermione found herself with Luna as a companion, her serene expression not faltering a bit in the face of the older witch's rage.
"Are you alright, Hermione? You seem to be having a horrid case of wrackspurts today."
Blue eyes flashed as Hermione glared at Luna...who normally would be immune from the wrath of the Gryffindor, but all Hermione could seem to get out was...
"Tell them to leave me alone or I swear on Godric Gryffindor, I'm going to hunt them down and turn them all to ash!"
Luna's eyes widened comically, but she didn't reply as they finally found themselves at the main level and the younger witch just watched bemusedly as Hermione Prewett headed for the Great Hall.
Upon entering, dark blue eyes scanned the Slytherin table and then narrowed as she spotted her prey. She could feel the stares of the other students and as such, she had no idea that her hair was on fire as she marched over to the Slytherin table with the infernal book in her right hand.
Theo was the first to spot her and his eyes got as wide as saucers. He slapped Draco on the arm, but the ferret just pushed him back as he was nose deep in a book of his own.
Theo's panicked, "Draco!" got the attention of the remainder of the students and faculty as Hermione was nearly upon them.
"Theodore Nott!" She growled, slamming the offending item on the table. "What in Merlin's name were you thinking giving this rubbish to me?"
Theo swallowed while Draco smirked, clearly amused by his witch's literal fiery personality.
"Hey love..."
Hermione whipped her finger at him and snarled, "Don't you call me love...you unmitigated, misogynist prat!"
Draco coughed out a guffaw, but put up his hands in the universal sign of peace.
"Now Hermione, that is why I let Theo explain..."
"Shut it, mate..."
"Just trying to help Theo."
"Piss off, Draco."
Hermione's eyes darted from Draco to Theo as they continued to bicker, causing the rest of the Slytherin's to snicker at how ridiculous they both were being.
But that didn't change the fact that she was pissed!
"Excuse me!"
The entire Hall went silent...then there was a deep clearing of a voice and when Hermione gazed behind her, Professor Snape was staring at her.
"Ten points from Gryffindor for causing a scene."
Hermione growled and Snape's eyebrow quirked.
"Perhaps detention?"
"And perhaps I could set you robes on fire again, Professor?"
Snape blanched and his eyes narrowed, as everyone in the Great Hall collectively held their breath.
"Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Nott...please escort Miss Prewett to my office..." when no one was quick to move, Severus snarled out, "now!"
Draco and Theo wasted no time standing, while Hermione just glowered but followed them out of the dining hall and down towards the dungeons. Hermione's temper hadn't quite abated but at least her hair was more normalish.
Draco tried to take her hand, but she hissed at him and pulled away...continuing to outpace both the boys in her stubborn defiance against all things patriarchal.
When they got to Snape's office, Draco gave the password and the three students sat down and waited for their Professor to arrive...which he did after another fifteen minutes. When he came into the room, he immediately sat down and glared at each of them in turn before he spoke.
"Now please explain what the fuss is about?"
Theo sheepishly set the book he'd given Hermione on Severus desk. He'd grabbed it before leaving the Great Hall and based on the stunned expression on their Professor's face...Theo was beginning to wonder if he'd been an absolute tosser for giving his cousin that book.
It wasn't as if he'd read it.
His Father had taught him most traditions verbally as had their House Elves.
Shite.
He turned to glare at Draco, who was trying his hardest not to smirk at him.
That fucking prick!
Snape stared at the book as if someone had given him a case of Spattergoit...or worse...Dragon Pox.
"Let me get this straight?" Snape pinched the bridge of his rather large nose, "you felt the need to give Miss Prewett this book?"
"Well," Theo cleared his throat hesitantly, "Draco here suggested it."
The blonde whipped his head to the side and glared heatedly at his former, soon to be dead, classmate.
Severus just lifted a condescending eyebrow that screamed, "Are you really that thick?"
"Professor?"
"Yes, Miss Prewett?"
Hermione sighed, clearly put upon at having to endure this ridiculousness. "Draco and I briefly, discussed courting and betrothals and like the consummate Slytherin he is? He deferred it to Theo, who probably in his defense...has never even read that horrible book?"
Theo shook his head in apology, and muttered under his breath, "No, but I won't make that mistake again."
Hermione smiled, while Draco smirked.
"Miss Prewett, while I understand that you've been thrust into a world you know very little on except for the less than stellar behavior of some within my House these past five years, there is much to be learned about proper Pureblood courting," Hermione scowled as Severus picked up the book in disgust, "but this would not be my first choice, nor do I suppose your Grandmother would ever allow this in her home."
The three students snickered at the thought of Muriel Prewett following any of the antiquated shite in that book.
Even Severus lips twitched with amusement.
"However, it does not excuse the fact of your complete lack of decorum this evening. Perhaps a few of the more sedate traditions could be implemented?"
Severus waved the book, while Hermione folded her arms over her chest and glared.
Theo and Draco watched the stare off between the two, before Hermione broke eye contact and sighed.
"I'm sorry, Professor. I don't know what is wrong with me."
"What do you mean?"
"My magic, I think it's making my emotions all over the place."
Draco and Theo's expression changed immediately from amused to concerned.
"I see. Are you having a harder time controlling your range of responses?"
"Yes, I think that's it." Hermione agreed hesitantly.
Snape glanced at Draco, who's face was furrowed with confusion.
"Does it ever seem settled?"
Hermione blushed and nodded, her eyes darting to Draco's, who took her hand instantly and Severus was surprised to see the tension within the witch abate immediately upon the touch of his godson.
"Curious." He drawled. "We should probably start back on your Occlumency training Miss Prewett and perhaps it might be a prudent choice to have Draco attend as well. His Occlumency is fairly advanced, and his Legilimency is rudimentary, but perhaps in this instance it might be helpful to see how this bond you two are forming might be benefitted by working together?"
Draco's eyebrow lifted in surprise. "You think that will help?"
"I do not know, but I think it is worth a try, as I'd rather not have Miss Prewett burn the castle down."
Hermione glanced at Draco and he smiled, nodded and winked at her.
"Okay." Her voice was calmer, and even Theo could see the affect Draco had on his cousin.
"As for your other comment Miss Prewett?"
Theo and Draco grinned widely, while Hermione blushed deeply.
"Well...Uhm..."
"Uhm, indeed. Do I take it to mean that it was you who set my robes on fire during the Quidditch match back in your first year?"
Hermione's gaze darted everywhere at once, while the two gits sitting on either side of her were doing a piss poor job of trying to control their mirth.
"Maybe?" She whispered.
There was a heartbeat of silence and when she glanced up, Snape was considering her with an unfathomable expression on his face.
"I thought it was you cursing Harry's broom." She rushed to clarify. "I had read all about curses and hexes and you have to maintain eye contact. It just looked as if..."
"I see."
"Should I apologize?"
"Do you feel it necessary after five years?"
"Well, when you put it that way..."
"Perhaps detention next Saturday might be in order. Two hours, my office after dinner."
"Yes, Sir."
"Now get out and don't let me see you behaving in such a manner again, Miss Prewett. I'm afraid as a Professor I can't condone the setting of students on fire in a fit of emotion, even if I would otherwise applaud the opportunity."
Hermione huffed, while Theo and Draco just snickered.
Severus watched the three students go, and heaved a sigh of complete exasperation.
He really despised being a Professor sometimes...
