Chapter Thirty - Nine
vitae celebrationem- 'Celebration of life'
September 10th 1991
10.00am
A gentle breeze brushed through the air as another day of summer came piercing through the clouds. The sunshine warmed everyone within her presence to the core; she shone a light down through the stained glass window, illuminating all in her path. Seas of black rolled into the cream victorian building; all smiling sadly as the sun beamed down on their backs. Inside the building a small humming danced around as people shared stories about their days in the summers sun. As everyone took their seats, the humming turned to silence; the sun slipped behind a cloud and the light that once held everyone in the room now cast a shadow upon them; it was time for the sun to rest.
Henry sat to the front of the church holding his baby sisters hand in his as she tried not to break into tears. Marie McCord was being laid to rest; a moment that they all knew was coming since she fell ill eighteen moths ago, but one no amount of forewarning protecting them from that fatal day that came three weeks ago. Patrick McCord was called to the front to share a few words about his wife; a moment Henry in particular struggled with. He tipped his head back and looked up to the ceiling trying to compose himself as his tears threatened to call. He padded his tux jacket down trying to find a tissue but he had no such luck; Erin had hold of them.
Sat at the back of the room a young woman watched him closely, she was invited by the family but Henry wasn't aware of her presence. She watched as he tilted his head back; she knew he was struggling. She watched as she padded his jacket down and clenched his hands tighter when he couldn't find what he was looking for. She reached into her handbag and fished out a spare packet of tissues. She leant forward to the woman in front of her
'Excuse me, can you pass these down to Henry McCord' she whispered as the woman took the tissues, passing them onto the row in front and so forth until they reached Henry. Henry thanked the woman behind him for being so thoughtful and quickly turned to the front, taking a tissue out to wipe his tears away.
'That was kind of you, how did you know he needed them?' The person sitting next to the young lady who passed the tissues asked
'I just know him really well' Elizabeth smiled and turned her attention back to the front of the room; constantly watching Henry. She needed to make sure he was ok before she left today. She continued to sit through the rest of the ceremony but got up out of her seat and moved out of sight before they Brought the coffin out. Elizabeth got in her car and headed to the wake and anxiously awaited the arrival of everyone there. Her heart was racing as not too long later cars turned into the parking area; she dipped down in her seat as Henry got out of the car and walked into the building with Shane. When she was certain he was out of sight she climbed out of the car and cautiously headed inside.
'Aunt Lizzieeeee' Lily smiled and ran to Elizabeth.
'Shhhh' Elizabeth placed a finger on her lips trying not to attract attention to herself as she picked up Lily.
'Wow look at you baby girl! You're big!' She smiled down at her
'I'm Twwooo' she smiled proudly and Elizabeth laughed holding her tightly.
'You made it then' Maureen crept up behind her making jump out of her skin
'Don't do that!' Elizabeth gritted through her teeth as she balanced Lily on her hip.
'Sorry, are you ok?' Elizabeth asked wrapping Maureen into a hug. She closed her eyes as she felt the comfort the a McCord hug once again.
'tough day,' Maureen nodded and threw back the rest of her whiskey, 'how is the CIA?' She changed the topic and Elizabeth nodded putting Lily down
'Very good thanks, I am actually off to Baghdad in the morning, I got offered a chief station post; so I'll be gone for a year' she smiled 'How is Henry?' She cursed herself for allowing those words to escape her lips.
'Struggling, he has recently had a three month deployment came home and three days later mom passed. They're keeping him home for the next six months minimum' she explained and Elizabeth nodded, she was glad someone was looking out for him.
'You can always ask him yourself'
'No! Maureen I came because it was your mom's wish and that is it. Henry and I have been through a lot, we cannot go there' she Warned her
'Well in that case you might want to make an exit' she raised an eyebrow hinting that Henry was walking towards them. Elizabeth didn't dare look behind her. She pulled Maureen and Lily in for a hug, sending them her love and left all in a matter of moments.
'Who was that?' Henry asked as he tried to peak outside, but he couldn't quite catch a glimpse.
'Aunt Lizzie' Lily answered and Maureen silently cursed
'My old friend Lucinda, aka Lizzie' she lied
'No Mommy, it was Elizzbetths' Lily tried to pronounce her name. It took seconds for Henry to piece it together
'Elizabeth? My Elizabeth?' He questioned, his emotion rose in his throat as Maureen's face said it all. His head span around and his feel carried him out the door, he frantically looked around but couldn't see anyone in sight until he turned to head back in and there she was; stood to the left of the door, her eyes scared and her breathing shallow as she locked eyes on him for the first time in nearly two years.
'Wha..Elizab?..What?' His words were jumbled, his face scrunched up as his eyes fell on her.
'Henry' came the emotional breath from her lips.
Both stood staring at one another rooted to the spot unable to move. Silence.
'What are you…how?'
'Your mom asked, before she passed. Im so sorry Henry' she shocked her head as her tears distorted her vision of him. He took a small step closer to her, his own emotions fighting to escape
'You were going to just leave?' His voice cracked, she nodded as the tears finally spilled over her face. Her hands entertained with one another in front of her as she battled with two years worth of emotion for the man stood before her.
'Were you even going to say hello to me? Or goodbye for that matter?' A subtle anger grew inside him as he stepped closer to her.
'I couldn't Henry' she whispered, head hanging low as her heart splintered. She sniffled and her breath shook as she felt him stand before her. He placed a loving hand on her chin and lifted it to help her focus on him. He smiled when he saw her; that same beautiful face and sparkling blue eyes latched onto his.
'Hey you' he smiled through his tears. The kindness from him made her cry even more. She swallowed quickly and the intake of breath caused her body to jolt.
'i can't' she shook her head profusely 'I have a flight to catch' she whimpered
'No, please don't leave me again, I never stopped loving you, please don't leave me Elizabeth' He cried. He placed both his hands on her shoulders as his bottom lip trembled. She had to look away, the sight of him caused her entire body to ache.
'Im going to Baghdad for a year, I…I…' she couldn't speak as her sobs took control of her. Henry instinctively pulled her into his embrace but she tried so hard to fight him. She pushed back on his chest, her hands balled into fits as her emotions consumed her
'No, No Henry please, I cant, I can't' she repeatedly cried
'I can't let you go again' he whispered as he tried to hold her but it was no use; she managed to break free and took a few steps back from him; the distance between them was back. She breathed heavily as she squeezed her eyes shut.
'Im sorry for your loss Henry' she swallowed as she walked away and toward her car. She quickly sat in and started the engine. Upon hearing the engine Henry made his way over to the car, he stood by her window and watched as she un-wound it.
'I forgive you, and for what it's worth I never stopped loving you either, but I have to protect myself. I have to go' She sniffled and wound her window back up. She didn't stop to think of take a second glance, she just drove off never looking back.
Henry stood stunned to the spot. He had just let her go once again. He felt his heart sink into the ground as she was no longer visible. He closed his eyes and let out a few whimpering cries as his heart broke all over again. A dark shadow from the clouds above cast over him, the cold and emptiness of the environment offering no comfort as he continue to cry alone. For Henry the entire light within his life had gone out; he was ready to drown in the harsh depths of autumn and winter.
