Chapter Fifty Nine
I feel alone again and I know that it's for the best for tonight but I just reach out for him and I just feel the empty side of the bed. I sigh. He's been through so much and he has never given up, or not really, even at his worst he's kept fighting otherwise he'd be dead already. I hate that he has had to suffer his entire life and I can't really change that. All I can do is support him.
I take another breath in and sigh. I look across to the clock and I feel guilty. It's as if I'm hungry. I'm feeling starved from his voice, his touch, his kiss. I know that he's alive but that isn't enough for me. I need to make peace with the situation though. He's staying with his parents for a reason. The girls are back in their own beds and I'm going to make them a good breakfast in the morning but Kuon, I want to solve all of his problems and take away his depression.
Maybe if I make something for him to eat. I know he might not want to eat it but tamagoyaki is something that both him and the girls enjoy and it's a specialty of mine. I'll plan to make him some in the morning just like when we started going out and before we moved to America. It was always so much better getting Ren things from Daruma-ya than Shotaro. Ren always thanked me for them with that heavenly smile that made me feel blissful and yet like I was going to explode at the same time.
Okay. So I could think of some things that I could put with the eggs, maybe a side salad or seasoned rice. I look to the clock again, it's the middle of the night but I want him. I am so selfish. I'm like a little kid who didn't actually get that pony from her Christmas letter to Santa.
Before I know it, my hand is on the computer and I'm logging in and pressing to start a video call. I'm so selfish. I shouldn't be doing this. I know that with Kuon's condition, his rest is incredibly important but I wasn't thinking, I just needed him. I hear the sound of the call being accepted after only a few rings and see darkness. Is the video working on his side.
I see a light flicker from a lamp beside the bed and see a very exhausted Kuon sitting up in the bed. "Hey," he says but then yawns. I take a shaky breath feeling a little guilty that I woke him up. "Princess, are you…" he yawns again, "I'm sorry," he apologizes and I shake my head since I'm the one who woke him up. "Are you okay?"
"Sorry," I tell him with my head bowed. "I'm sorry, this call was -"
"Are you okay?" he asks again and I see his concern. He should be more concerned about himself.
"Are you okay?" I ask and he blinks before nodding but I can tell that he's trying to hide something from me. Maybe I shouldn't have left him. Maybe I should have fought for us more than I actually did. He looks away and I put a hand to the screen of the computer. "Kuon? You'd tell me if you're -"
"I had a bad dream," he says before looking away. "How did you know I needed to talk to you?"
My back straightens. I didn't know that? I just knew that I needed to find some way to connect with him. I yearned for him but now that he's telling me that he needed to talk to me, I'm glad. I'm happy that I called when I wanted to. He sighs and I realize I haven't responded yet. "Do you want to talk about it?" I ask and he looks at me with a sad smile.
"Are you happy? I feel like you were happier when you were a teenager before I confessed to you," he says and I pause. Why is he asking me this now? He should know that my happiest moments have been with him and especially the birth of our two daughters. I would never trade Kuon in for anything.
"You should know that's not true," I tell him and he bows his head, I'm not sure if he believes me or not. "Sweetheart, what do you want to do?"
"I might write a screenplay or a novel," he says and I blink. I wasn't expecting to hear those words but that's much better than what I thought he'd say. "If I do, will you read it."
"I'd feel insulted if you didn't share it with me," I joke with him and he looks at me still somewhat exhausted. I see a light flicker on behind him and hear a knock on the door. Father is probably worried about him. We're all worried about him. Only a few days ago everyone apart from Father believed that he was dead. Kuon stands up and I hear him telling Father that he's okay and Kyoko called and I can hear something in his voice that scares me, a deep sadness. I never want for Kuon to feel sad.
He comes back to his phone and smiles trying to use his fake gentleman's smile. "I'm going to be going up to San Francisco tomorrow afternoon. Dad wants for me and him to go first and then you can come with the girls."
"I want to go with you too," I tell him and he shifts nervously. "Listen, I'm your wife. I'm with you in this no matter what." He smiles before nodding. "Does that mean I can come?" I ask him excitedly and he nods.
"It's going to be a long drive," he warns me but what the hell do I care? I'm with Kuon and our girls will be following after us shortly. That's all that matters to me. "I love you, princess." I smile warmly.
"I love you too, Kuon."
KyKuKyKu
I bow my head and grit my teeth as I turn off the alarms. I wasn't thinking. I was just thinking that I wanted to be home but of course I should have put in both security codes, we have two for our estate because of the girls and wanting to protect them but I wasn't thinking. I sigh. I might as well go sit by the 'fairy stream' in the side garden. Sitting there and playing with the girls has always been important to me. Kyoko also made small little homes and buildings for the fairy folk with the girls. She's always been imaginative and creative like that.
I sigh as I go and sit on the bench. I don't know what I'm doing here anymore. I don't know why I couldn't get to sleep after her phone call. I mean, as worried as Dad was about me, he did understand that I said Kyoko needed me to come home and so I was returning and would make sure that nothing happened.
I almost trip over something and reach down to find there to be one of the small balls for the girls to play outdoors with. This one is pink and white so it must be Ana's. Ana loves the pink and white flowers the most. Rose likes roses like her name but she definitely likes sunflowers as well. Kyoko, I don't know many flowers which Kyoko hates. I smile as I sit down with the ball in my lap.
I know so much about the girls. I know what songs Ana likes to listen to and which songs she finds scary. I know that she likes animals and she loves collecting stickers so much that we actually used them as prizes for her when doing things like toilet training or teaching her to walk or talk. I know that Rose loves Disney movies but she also likes ikebana. She told me that she likes cherry blossoms and wants to go to Japan to sit under a cherry tree and eat a picnic. I know that she has always wanted a cat and because we were always so busy we didn't get the family cat she had wanted.
And when it comes to Kyoko. I know Kyoko better than I know myself. I could fill notebooks, disc drives, whole walls with the information I know about my wife. Yet, I don't really know what to do. I'm having difficulty figuring out what my place is in -
"Are you an intruder?" I hear someone say to me and I lift my head and see the shadow of a figure with a heavy skillet. Yes, frying pans can do a lot of damage. "How did you -"
"It's me," I tell her and hear her put the pan down. I smile as she moves towards me, using the phone's flashlight to see me and she softens. She sighs before coming over to me and sitting down next to me. "I don't really know what I'm doing here but I wanted to come," I tell her. She kneels up next to me and puts a hand to my cheek, examining me.
"Are you hurt?" she asks and I shake my head. She kisses me before leaning back. "It's pretty cold out here," she tells me and I sigh. "Come inside?" she stands and gestures for me to follow her back into the house. I nod and come after her, setting the ball down beside the bench. As she turns the light on, I can see that she's been crying. She's wearing a robe over her loose pajama pants and t-shirt. She's lost weight. I hate that I did that to her. "Do you need some tea or cocoa or coffee?" she asks and I look at her.
"I'll take some cocoa," I nod and she seems surprised by that option but nods quickly and gets enough out for us to each have a cup. "Do you have a marshmallow?"
She pauses before tilting her head and teases me, "Are you sure that you're really Kuon?" she asks and I nod. She gestures for me to sit down at the breakfast bar and just gazes at me with a smile, the same type of way I look at her. "This must be really bad," she tells me and I look at her. I'm not sure what to say. There was just something that appeared on my phone after she called me and that I don't want to pay attention to, not really. It's an unknown number, a text message with just a TV station and the time of six this day. I'm not sure why anyone would send this.
"I got this," I show her and she looks at it. She takes my phone and studies it. I'm really glad that Dad told them to keep the number turned on even with my death announcement. I've had calls like this before, job offers but I haven't acted in a long time. I don't even know if my body would know how to act. "I do-don't get it."
"It looks like someone's sending you a warning," she tells me and I look at her. "Well, we'll watch it together," she takes my hand and squeezes it. She kisses me again before hearing the sound of the kettle boiling already. "Thank you for telling me about this. Now, did you want one marshmallow or two?"
"Kyoko, if this -" she looks at me in a way to tell me to be quiet whilst not yelling or demanding it from me. She's always been a bit more mature than I have. She's four years younger than me and she still seems to have so much figured out abut the world.
"Unconditional," she tells me. "That's what we both have for each other, an unconditional love."
KyKuKyKu
My fingertips are twitching against my leg as I look at what is on the screen. Corn, a littler, younger, Corn is bleeding and has just been attacked by someone older than him. I hear them call him names. Talking about him being mixed race, how he is a vermin, how his death would bring his parents attention. I want to turn it off. I want to demand someone to take back control of the network but as I look at Kuon, I see him shaking, his entire body is pale and one hand keeps pushing its way through his hair. When he got the text I doubt that he'd think he was seeing this.
Along the bottom of the screen are the words: A Non-Human around Humans: Kuon Hizuri. The Monster that was Ren Tsuruga.
End of Chapter Fifty Nine
Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated
Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Fifty Eight
Kyoko-minion
AN: Of course that last part is going to be the first part of next chapter. I've been rereading SB and finally got to the last chapter and read through all the ones that I skipped (I'm sorry but I can't stand Kanae) and I got inspired to write but I'm going onto another book for a few days so maybe I'll be inspired to write something a little different 😉
