As we drive back to the house I wonder how Ludwig feels about seeing my chest for the first time. I know that I'm uncomfortable with my chest and getting rid of it soon, but a small part of me wants him to like me pre and post op.

Ludwig startles me as he stands from the car, me so lost in thought I almost missed it.

"Is everything okay?" He asks after I scramble to get out.

"Yeah, just thinking." I tell him while trying to calm down.

"About anything in particular?" He asks holding the door for me.

I blush, "It's nothing."

His face softens a bit, "Okay… But feel free to tell me anything, really."

My eyes get misty, "Stupid bastard, -thanks." I blush but appreciate his intentions.

I take his hand and pull him up to the room we share.

"So I've been working on myself for a while," I tell him earnestly.

"And I want to try something if you're okay with it." I finished my thought.

"We can do whatever you want, if I get uncomfortable- I'll say so." he says with the tiniest upturn at the side of his mouth.

I sit us down, facing each other, on the edge of the bed, "The thing is, I want to give you my everything- now that I realize how much I've always cared. And I think you could help me finish healing." I tried to explain.

"I just, I'll show you." I say, before slipping off my shirt.

His eyes widen a little at the sight of me shirtless without a binder.

"You don't have to, I don't want you uncomfortable," he says, turning his head away from me.

I grab one of his hands and use it to flatten one side of my chest the way my binder does.

"You can look and touch, I just- You know I'm not a girl, right?" I ask with a good amount of vulnerability.

He shakes his head at me, "I've never met anyone as amazing or that was more of a man than you."

He sighs and looks at his hands now on my chest, "Are you sure this is okay?"

"If I change my mind I'll say so." I promise, him and myself.

I lean in and kiss him as his hands slide down to my waist. My hands snake around his neck, pulling him down and close. As we pull each other close we fall to our sides, holding one another and enjoying this time.

I really need to work on this some more and I hope to within this next week, sorry for such a short update but I promise there will be more soon. Stay safe, especially those in COVID-19 outbreak areas. Please leave a comment and see you soon.