Chapter Sixty
I look between Kuon and the television screen. Neither of us were expecting this. I hear the screams of agony coming from the seven? Eight? year old Kuon. I hear him bite his lip as he shivers and is shut in the dark by someone who is throwing all kinds of insults his way. I feel a sting each time I hear the word, monster, or mutt, or disgusting. I know that I can't help the eight-year-old Corn but I want to hit something. I turn towards Kuon who I know has turned frozen. Not only has he gone pale but I can sense the icy chill from his body.
I grab to the remote to switch off the system but he reaches out and takes my arm in a grip where it doesn't hurt and I could pull away if I wanted to but he wants to persuade me to listen to and observe this torture. I look at him pleadingly but he doesn't look away from the screen.
The scene changes to a ten-year-old Corn, he looks very similar to when we first met and this time he's able to grimace and show the pain in his expression but he is silent. I can't entertain the thought for even a moment that Kuu knew about this and just let it happen. I think about what Father said to me, that he didn't see what was going on? Did he know about this?
"You're worthless," someone says to him with a cold manner, "You should die. You never learn do you. You should kill yourself. Not even your parents want you and if you tell them how weak you are, they'll want you even less. You will never be anyone. You shouldn't even have been given a name. Kuu One. Didn't have to think very hard on that one. Shame there's no Kuu Two. You're an embarrassment to the family name."
The other boy moves away and Corn sits there for a moment, trying to breathe normally. I can see the tears in his eyes but he moves back and curls into a ball. He's trying to hide his fear. I remember from my time with my fairy prince Corn when I was a child how caring and considerate and sweet he's always been."
The scene fades again and I see Kuon turn even more into a ghost as scenes are shown from him beating people up as a teenager. He's obviously been broken psychologically from all the pain. I look to Kuon who has his arm wrapped around himself and is staring painfully at the screen. I can hear his heartbeat from here. This is the worst I've ever seen him look and I move over to him. He flinches as I touch him. I'm scared to break him. I'm scared that he'll shatter.
I see that he's running to catch the person who had hurt him earlier. I know what kind of skills he has. I know that he could beat a man to death without any weapon. I just saw him easily bring multiple guys to a bloody pile with a sick and sadistic grin on his face. I see a brunette male chase after him and then I see something which makes the present day Kuon stop breathing. Rick's body is hit by a car and he is brought to the ground. I remember the moment that I saw Kuon looking like a ragdoll after he was hit but this is death. This is Rick's death, isn't it? The most painful memory. The one that caused Kuon to hate himself and to need to create Ren Tsuruga.
I see the screen turn black but Kuon isn't moving. He starts to breathe but it's a panicked type of breathing. A video channel name flashes but he isn't making the connection. It's as if he's not even here any longer.
"Kuon," I whisper as I run and kneel in front of him. I take his hands and squeeze them. "Kuon, Corn, Corn can you hear me?"
He looks at me and nods. He looks so helpless as if he's a small child. At least he's reacting to me but I fear that he will vanish at any moment. I squeeze his hands again and this time he squeezes back but bows his head. "D-D-do you…ha-hate me?" he asks and I can barely hear his voice. I smile to him but stand up and wrap my arms around him.
"I could never ever hate you," I kiss his cheek before nuzzling his neck and upper chest. "Tell me again why you keep fighting. Tell me specifically the three things which motivate you to keep fighting."
"R-Ro-se…A-Ana and..y-you," he tells me before he stands up and I watch as he throws up in a fake plant. I go to him. Of course he has a bad stomach after rewatching his nightmarish events. I rush to him and rub his back. It's not work or a career which has motivated him this last decade. It's me. It's our family. Kuon loves being a part of our family and he's an extremely important part. He's the daddy. Despite the pain he's endured, he always clings to that desire to be seen as the daddy and give Rose and Ana the upbringing that although his parents wanted him to have, didn't actually happen that way.
"Remember that, keep repeating that," I try to comfort him, "because all of us love you and want you with us. You saved me. You kept me alive. Without you I would have died." I tell him and he looks at me before nodding, starting to look a little more stable. "You went through so much pain and agony because you risked your own life to save me but you did it because you love me. That's the way all of us, including your parents, love you. You are loved."
"I did-n't wan-tt him to…d-die" Kuon replies and I nod. I know that but Kuon should know that although he obviously still feels responsible about what happened, he saved me from being killed in a road accident. Nothing can make up for losing his friend.
I wrap my arms around him as I remember all the insults I've ever heard him make about himself. He has trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but he still tries. He has trouble giving himself the credit that he deserves but he's still here, doing his best for the ones he loves. I hold him to me. I don't feel any judgement or negative emotions for these moments of weakness, on the other hand, I'm glad that he's sharing them with me. "You are so loved," I tell him wanting for him to internalize that.
KyKuKyKu
I look at the computer, these people are heartless. Kuon always does whatever he can to help a cast or even crew member on the set. He's donated to charities, volunteers, helps out with his fans, has taken hours out of his day to come to events he was invited to, made personal sacrifices to help others. Kuon has done whatever he can to be a good person and he doesn't do it to please the press or to get fame and applause. He does it because he's a very good and worthy person. He's the type of guy who is very charismatic without even trying.
Now there're an entire four video channels on this very popular site showing images and videos of how he was hurt in life, how he hurt others because he had been pushed so far, the most painful parts for me are the videos of him being tortured the past month. It's obvious he can't talk but when he can, he's not really conscious and is just saying five words, 'Love' 'Kyoko' 'Rose' 'Ana' and the most painful one, 'sorry'.
He has nothing to apologize for. I look back at the bed and smile as I see the three of them are asleep. Kuon and I will be leaving in a few hours but I can turn my head back to see him there with our daughters. Rose is curled in tightly to his side all nice and snug, Kuon has one arm around her, keeping her close. Ana has moved so that she's sleeping with her head on Kuon's chest and Kuon has his hand on her back protectively. They are all getting some well-deserved rest.
I move over to them and lift the blanket up, tucking it around them and then get another blanket for Ana. I grab my phone and take a photograph of them before videoing them. I want to enjoy these moments. These are the moments that make me happiest. Kuon and our girls all together.
I find it sad when I go online and learn that a lot of fathers don't want to play with dolls or have tea parties or really encourage their daughters to find their own passions. Yes, I think the majority of fathers want to have a precious and lasting bond with their young daughters but a lot of people don't invest the time that Kuon does. I'm not saying that he's rare but I…I can see it.
There was a time in Rose's life where she became fascinated with butterflies. I think I might have been a cause for that. I was telling her how the fairies like butterflies and the butterflies are attracted to flowers. During that time, Kuon was busy. He had signed with another fashion line and they had given him a schedule of runway shows and print ads that they wanted him to do as well as some interviews. He was already on the second season of a TV show and he had a movie that they were doing preliminary table reads for. At that time he was working between ten and fourteen hours a day but when he wasn't busy with work, he was helping with the kids and helping with the housework and sometimes with meals if I wanted to make something a little more complicated. When I was away from the family, I would always give him step by step instructions on how to cook for himself and the girls.
When he wasn't working though, he was looking up information on butterflies. He managed to take Rose to a museum where he could share with her the things that he learned about them. He even managed to find some plants that attracted butterflies and bought her an umbrella that had butterflies on it. How could a man who spent so much time doing things for his daughter be as terrible as they want to make him believe that he is.
One of the most defining things about Ren, other than his kind and considerate nature, was that he was a hard worker. Kuon might not be as much of a diligent working stiff as Ren was but he's still Ren as much as he wants to say that Tsuruga-san was just a character. I understand that before I met him or at least in the beginning of the time I knew him, he was a lot different. He would concentrate on his work. He would keep distance from others. He wouldn't act rash or impulsively. When he found out that I was his childhood friend though, he opened up and that was the blend between the two of them. Still both of them care about work but Kuon has a reason to prioritize things above that work. These videos don't represent him and hopefully people won't listen to them.
I take a deep breath and look towards my family, my precious family who I never realized I would treasure so much, especially not when I was sitting in front of Sawara-san as a Love Me-hopeful. I make sure that the camera is focused on me and a blank background and press the record button. I look into the screen. I look decent, not my best but decent.
"Hello. I'm Kyoko Hizuri and I'm going to talk in reaction to some videos that were posted online which I hope are removed for violating this website's terms and conditions as well as an attack on my husband. I want to take a moment to tell you why my husband is an amazing person who is undeserving of the torture continuously shown in these videos,"
I take a deep breath and look towards Kuon who is still asleep. I know you're not supposed to add oil to the fire but I'm sick of him being mistreated and most of all hurt. I'm going to fight for him. Even if it does damage to the opinion that people have of me, I'm not just going to sit still and stay quiet.
End of Chapter Sixty
Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated
Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Fifty Nine
Kyoko-minion
AN: Today was a really hard day for me. I have bipolar disorder/borderline personality disorder and so it was a relief for me to update this and I just hope you guys like reading it as much as I found peace and comfort writing it.
