Back to the serious stuff after my quick respite with "Right-Hand Man" (you should go read it after this chapter if you haven't already). Thanks to everyone who continues to read not only this story but every other story I have on here.

Chapter 34

It was raining when I emerged from the airport, dragging my suitcase behind me. It seemed ironic, given the usual weather patterns of where I'd just been and the usual weather patterns of where I'd just landed. But at the same time it seemed fitting, like I was bringing the atmosphere that had allowed me to grow as a person with me as I furthered my journey. And in that atmosphere, despite the fact that they were physically more than five thousand miles away, I could feel the combined strength of Brandon, Aunt Beth and Imogen, urging me on to be my best self. I needed that today of all days. The to-do list I'd made before leaving England left a lot to be desired, but if I wanted to be successful and continue working on myself as I had been, I needed to get through today's activities first.

I took a deep breath of American air and surged forward, intending to hail a cab when someone behind me called my name. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end and there was absolutely no doubt in my mind who it was. There was only one person in the world who could elicit that response from my body from their presence in the same air space alone.

"Ranger," I gasped, as I turned to find him emerging from the crowd. He was dressed in a modified version of the Corporate Ranger I'd grown accustomed to seeing on occasion in the last few years. His trousers were the same as far as I could tell, respectful loafers on his feet, but in place of the black button through, was a white business shirt. The skin peaking out at the open collar was even more tanned than his usual mocha complexion, and his face was sporting a full beard, playing off his new shorter haircut magnificently. As I took it all in, I was thankful for the fact that I'd heard his voice before I spotted him because I wasn't sure I'd have recognised him. "What are you doing here?"

"Saving you a cab fare," he said easily. "It seemed stupid to have you get a taxi from the airport just to meet me at a diner."

I was speechless, which we can all agree is unusual for me. Meanwhile, Ranger appeared to have gained a few words since I last saw him. "I… uuh…" I uttered, trying to figure out how I felt about his presence here when I wasn't expecting to meet up with him for another hour. I hadn't had the chance to figure out exactly what I was going to say to him. I mean, I'd had a twelve-hour flight to think about it, and a whole three months before that to sort out my feelings about what had happened, but ever the C minus student, I had left my homework for the last minute only to find that they last minute had been stolen away from me.

"Sorry," he said, and I noticed that he was standing a respectful distance from me. His expression – as much as I could see of it – did not reveal any emotion that I could interpret, but I got the feeling that now that we were face to face he wasn't so sure of the move he'd made. "I should have asked if it would be all right."

"Uh, yeah," I agreed, adjusting my grip on my suitcase as I coaxed some real words out of my brain and onto my lips. "Maybe. I just – You caught me off guard, that's all."

He nodded that he understood and offered to take my luggage for me. "I know a 24hr diner not far from here," he offered. "We can talk there, if you like. Or if you prefer I can hire one of the rooms here at the airport…"

"Lunch sounds great," I enthused, seizing a familiar topic. "I'm starving."

He shook his head slightly, and there was a slight crinkle in the corner of his left eye, suggesting he was thinking about laughing. "Babe," he said. "It's oh-five-hundred. If we're having a meal, it's breakfast."

"Nuh uh," I protested, easily falling into step with him as he turned to lead us to the short-term parking. "I'm still on London time. It's one in the afternoon. I haven't had lunch."

Rather than argue the point, he just shook his head and pushed on through the crowd. "If we get you donuts we can call it whatever time of day you want," he pointed out. And he wasn't wrong. Donuts were good for any time of day. And it had been three months since my last donut. I know I'd promised Brandon I'd make healthy choices and keep up with a fitness regime, but a little splurge here and there wouldn't hurt, right? I was allowed to indulge in a donut or two to celebrate all the progress I'd made.

"Deal," I confirmed, surprised at how easily we'd made it past the initial awkwardness of the meeting to this comfortable back and forth we were used to. Of course there was the fact that we had not yet brought up the topic of the Rangeman investors and the repercussions of meetings with them, but with this banter coming through now I felt a little more hopeful for our future.

*o*

Turns out the diner he'd mentioned did not serve donuts, which was a bummer, but I'd made do with a slice of carrot cake to go with the bacon and eggs I ended up ordering. Ranger, I noticed, ordered exactly the same thing he'd ordered the day we'd first met: half a grapefruit and a side of me rolling my eyes. We waited until we'd finished our food before getting stuck into the main event.

"What you did hurt," I told him frankly, as I swirled the last of my orange juice around in the glass. "If you had just talked to me about what the investors wanted you to do, we could have worked out a solution together."

He nodded, like he agreed, but said nothing. It was frustrating to have him revert to this silence after a rather amicable reunion, but I knew he wasn't good at talking about his feelings. Hell, I wasn't that great at it either, but I'd had to learn in the last month and a half working through my life and my issues with my therapist. I knew that if I wanted Ranger to understand my side of this, I had to tell him how I felt, how his actions affected me.

"Conversations are a two-way street," I pointed out when he continued to say nothing for more than a minute. "You have to use your voice and participate or we're going to get no-where."

"I'm not sure we're going to get very far once I reveal what I haven't told you yet," he said very quietly and for the first time in history, he refused to meet my gaze. I didn't understand. Our entire relationship, even before we got together, had been fuelled by honesty – as much as his job allowed – and an encouragement of each other's true selves. We'd built trust early and maintained it for years, but now he was saying that he'd been keeping something from me? How long had this secret been unknowingly looming over my head?

"What?" I asked.

"There's more to the meeting with the investors than I originally revealed," he confessed, staring over my shoulder. "There are so many things about this situation that I regret, Babe. So many decisions I would make differently if I had the chance for a do-over. I should have talked to, like you said. I should have done a lot of things. And my behaviour towards not only you, but my employees, our friends, has been deplorable for months. I-" he paused, and I could have sworn there was a slight hitch to his breathing. Was Ranger upset? Was he so worked up about this whole thing that had gone on between us that it had driven him to show raw emotion in public? "I just hope that in time you can forgive me for all my sins. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't dropped into my life when you did, and I don't know what I'll do if you leave it forever. I love you, Babe, but I've been a terrible person."

Seeing him so anxious and worried and emotional was not doing very good things for my own resolve to get through this conversation calmly and maturely. I'd envisioned talking out my feelings, letting Ranger talk out his and potentially apologise for what he'd done then parting ways. Even if I could find it in my heart to forgive him for what I was aware he'd done, I didn't think I was ready to pick up our relationship where we'd left it off before this whole shitstorm.

"What," I breathed, clenching my fists in my lap. "Did you do?"

Visions of him cheating on some faceless woman, pounding into her on the conference room table at Rangeman, filled my head and refused to be pushed aside as I waited for him to respond. The longer he delayed his answer, the more women were involved in the vision. I knew he hadn't been a saint before we'd met. He'd openly confessed to being a man-slut for a few years. But he'd promised, once we were officially together, that I was it for him. No other women to satisfy his urges. Just me. I was enough for him.

Well.

If I was enough for him then what the hell was he doing with –

"The investors weren't threatening to take away their funds," he said, his voice firm. He still didn't sound or look like the Ranger I'd known, but he was working on getting himself back under control. Lifting his gaze, he continued his explanation, "I fabricated that excuse. They weren't happy about the situation, but I hold more sway in the company than they do, so they learned to shut their mouths."

I wasn't sure I understood what he was saying. Weren't the investors the reason he'd taken away my safety net? Wasn't it their threat to pull funding that had forced his hand? Wasn't this whole situation the investor's fault? Okay, maybe not entirely their fault, I conceded, Ranger was the one who had failed to communicate the changes to me. But still, this had all started with the investors!

"The investors didn't make you do it?" I asked.

"No."

"Then-"

"I did it so that you'd finally get the training you need," he implored, leaning forward, his arms resting on the table

I shook my head in disbelief. "You… Do you understand how bad that sounds?"

"Yes," he said simply. "I've made a grave error."

I scoffed at that, crossing my arms over my chest. "Understatement." I grabbed my purse, preparing to leave, but he wasn't giving up on the conversation so easily.

"Steph, you have to believe I had the best of intentions for what I did," he said laying a hand on top of my forearm to prevent me from walking out. "I saw you struggling. I offered training. You refused. And refused. And found every excuse under the sun to say no. I didn't want you to get hurt unnecessarily, but the worry every day was killing me. I'd be sitting in a meeting, knowing you were out there chasing criminals and lowlifes, and all I could think about was you. I couldn't concentrate."

"So you decided that instead of talking to me about it, like mature people in relationships do, you'd just go ahead and lie to your entire company and me. AND make my entire situation that much more dangerous," I clarified, shaking off his hold. "What did you think was going to happen when you told the guys to stay away from me? That I was magically going to understand what was going on and enrol in some sort of self-defence class? That they would blindly follow orders? You're more of a fool than I ever thought you could be if you believed that."

"Babe-" I gave him a withering glare "Stephanie please. I did what I thought was necessary to keep you safe."

"Really?" I questioned, pushing back from the table. "How'd that work out? Not too well, I'd say, considering that within a month of getting the men to sign a contract that forbid them from assisting me in anyway on Rangeman time or using Rangeman resources, I broke my nose, almost got stabbed and dislocated my shoulder. Would you call that a success?"

He stared at me for a moment, his blank expression twinging just slightly, like he wasn't happy about what he was about to say, "You went and got training though, didn't you?" he asked.

"I could have died!" I yelled, not caring who else in the restaurant heard me. "Yes, it would have been because of my own stupidity, but had I known from the beginning that I was operating without a safety net I probably would have been a lot more careful."

His voice was back to that quiet, introverted place it had been before he'd made that fatal confession. "I should have spoken to you about it," he agreed. "I just got so caught up in the advancements I was making with the expansion, and before I knew it weeks had gone by and I still hadn't told you. Then you stormed into my apartment and I didn't even think about what was rolling off my tongue, the lies I was spurting. They just came out and before I knew it you were storming right back out and I was left with this gaping whole in my life. I told myself I'd never reveal the whole truth to you, that our relationship couldn't handle that further betrayal of lying to you and being the sole reason for cutting you off from the support network I'd originally put in place. I told myself that if I was ever going to have a chance at getting back with you, you could never know how truly horrific I had been."

I just stared at him. No words could convey how I was feeling at that moment. I'd worked so hard to get past what he'd done, but now, with this extra layer of treachery, I was right back where I'd started. It hurt to look at him, but I knew that if I looked away even for a second, I would start to cry, and once the tears were allowed free of the flood gates, I wasn't sure I'd be able to stop them for a very long time. If I wanted to make it through this day and get back home, I needed to maintain my composure, even if it meant shoving all my feelings into a box to be examined later in the comfort of my apartment.

"But when I saw you at the airport earlier, I knew that I couldn't keep it from you," he went on. "I realised that it was just another wedge I was driving between us, and that if I laid it all on the line, you might realise how deeply sorry I am for everything I have done and everything that has happened up until this point. I knew that if I didn't tell you the truth would burn a hole inside me, and I just ruin our relationship in another way."

Closing my eyes, I took several deep breaths, counting slowly with each one to ensure I was focusing purely on my breathing and feel of air rushing in and out of my lungs. I'd come to LA instead of going straight home to Trenton, in order to have a mature conversation with Ranger and hopefully resolve the whole situation. With this new information, I knew that that would be a harder task than I'd originally thought. Quite impossible, in fact. But I was determined to remain calm and talk it through like an adult. I needed to process what he was telling me and what I was feeling. I need… time. And a few more therapy sessions.

Opening my eyes, I took one more deep breath as I surveyed Ranger's tortured expression, before telling him exactly what our next step was.


I had such good intentions for this chapter... until Ranger dropped that bombshell on us...