Anna and Finn's Manor, Port Charles
It had been a long day. Both of them felt relief as the heavy door closed behind them, and they were welcomed by a soothing warmth coming from embers in the fireplace. Anna had kept the house running smoothly, but she took a deep cleansing breath of gratitude that the people that made her house a home were returned to it.
"Roxy I'm home!" Violet announced proudly, and once her backpack was dropped to the ground, she was running up the stairs as fast as her little legs would carry her.
"Whoa slow down, you are going to fall if you aren't careful-" He called after her, but her speed didn't slow an inch. Finn sighed and dropped all his luggage unceremoniously on the floor and shook his head.
"You realize that this is going to be the first of many times she's not going to listen to a word you say."
"I know. I just figured I had a few years yet before it was full mutiny."
Anna laughed softly, and Finn's eyes ran over her. Out of habit, he turned towards her, lifting his hands to help remove her scarf and her coat, but he stopped suddenly and dropped his hands to his sides. She noticed his hesitations and looked away while she took off her things herself.
"Um you can go put your things away in the bedroom, and I can supervise the bedtime routine for tonight. If you want, of course." She longed to do something so trivial...so mundane as combing out hair and supervising the brushing of teeth.
"You don't need to. I can help her."
"But I'd like to. If you don't mind?"
Finn looked at her with an unreadable expression and then nodded. He hefted his bags and mounted the stairs without looking back.
Apprehension settled into the pit of her stomach. He had been...distant. Cool. Even though he was home again, she worried that something had changed between them since they had battled in this very room. She was unable to rid herself of that nagging sense that even Peter's exoneration didn't repair the wounds from their words and actions. But he was here; he asked to come home. He still wanted to be with her? Didn't he?
Anna moved herself upstairs and soon got Violet in her pajamas and into her room. Finn joined them, changed into a black t-shirt and sweats, his preferred lounging clothes. Anna couldn't take her eyes off him.
Violet clambered into bed, and Finn helped settle the pillows and blankets about her, with Bella and Otto flanking on either side of her like twin plush deities of protection. "Daddy you read every night. Anna needs a turn. My teacher says you have to take turns."
Finn laughed "Oh well, I wouldn't want to disappoint Miss Tara. Anna, would you like to read tonight?"
Anna's eyes met Finn's with an amused smile while he nodded in silent assurance that he didn't mind forgoing this nightly ritual.
" I would love to. Let me find something…" she scanned the shelf next to the bed, and her eyes lit up as they rested on the spine of a well-worn book. She took it in her hands as if it was a priceless artifact, and to her, it was. She searched her memory for recollections of her time as a child, and only stories like this one remain.
Anna possessed nothing from her own childhood; in fact, truth be told, she barely had a childhood. But that made the books and toys from Robin and Emma all the more precious, and she held onto them, gathering what she could from Mac's attic and slipping them out of GoodWill boxes as Robin and Patrick sorted and packed up their lives before their move to Berkeley.
"How about this one. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland." Anna sat on the bed and reached out to stroke the little girl's hair, which she had twisted in a bun on top of her head. "It's about a little girl with a big imagination who has all sorts of adventures in a wonderful and strange land. And there is even a tea party in it, and we know how much you love those."
Finn sat on the other side of his daughter, arm embracing her firmly as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
"I told daddy that I like going on adventures, but not if they take too long."
"Well, books are an adventure you can have without even leaving your bedroom. Let's begin. Chapter one, down the rabbit hole. Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, "and what is the use of a book," thought Alice "without pictures or conversations?" '
"Like daddy's books! They never have pictures."
"Hey! You will appreciate a good research book when you are older, kid."
Anna laughed and continued on. Finn was familiar with the story even though he couldn't remember if he had ever read it on his own. But even if he had, there was no way it ever compared to the sound of her lilting English accent reading the words of Lewis Carroll. Her voice was clear and sweet and made the words live. Anna was taking Violet on a journey with the sound of her voice, and he couldn't help but be carried away with her- she was brilliant in every sense of the word. And she had them both in thrall.
Finn drank in the sight of the two of them, an image of contented tranquillity until he saw dark lashes drooping low over bright blue eyes and heard the even sound of breathing. The little girl's face was half-buried in Anna's shoulder, and her tiny hands gripped Bella. Violet was asleep, free to follow white rabbits, and find her own adventures in dreamland. Sitting in the doorway, Finn looked with fervent affection at each face. He used to consider life as the most fragile thing, easily broken and slowly vanishing in the continuous flow of time, reminding him of the purposelessness of any attachment. But now attachment was too tame a word for what he felt for these two.
Anna slowly moved off the bed, careful not to disturb the sleeping beauty, taking a moment to turn off the lamp and turn on the nightlight. Finn pulled the covers up under his daughter's chin, and he marveled at the perfection of her, growing and ever-changing, and that somehow, he played a role in creating her. He avoided dwelling on what he missed and instead focused on the blessing she was in his life now.
He picked up Otto for a moment and then put the plush back down on the bed, bringing it closer within the immediate reach of tiny arms and planted a final, loving kiss on her forehead before exiting quietly.
He stood for a moment outside the door, looking at the streak of light that streamed from his bedroom. Finn couldn't deny that he missed the feel of his own bed. The hotel mattress had done his back no favors, but neither had the absence of her body wrapped around his.
A week ago, if asked, Finn would have said that her relationship with Anna was as strong as ever. Oh, they did argue, like every other couple, about trivial things like division of labor or lack of milk in the fridge or Anna leaving her gun cleaning kit on the kitchen table. Nothing major. Nothing that couldn't be resolved before they went to bed. Never going to bed angry was a cliche, but they never had a reason to hold a grudge over till morning. And then they had fought. And with an intensity and ferocity that sent him out into the night.
He stepped into their bedroom. His eyes fell on the bed, on her side, the covers were wrinkled and looked as if they had been hastily pulled up when she had left this morning. His side was still smooth and tucked in, just as he had left it three days prior. There was a pile of WSB files on her nightstand, and her glasses set on top, telling him that she had stayed up late trying to distract herself with work. Sleep had probably been at a premium for her as it had for him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her rub her temples and heave a sigh that spoke of her mental and physical capacities drained and empty.
"You look tired." He came closer, resting his hand on their shared dresser.
She smiled grimly. "I'm exhausted. I couldn't sleep without you next to me. Even after six months by myself in hotel rooms scattered across the globe, I never felt as lonely as I did the last three nights. It was...difficult, Finn."
"I didn't sleep well, either. Violet didn't want to be alone, and she kicked pretty hard, no matter what I ended up with a foot in my back. I don't know how she can move so much. I spent most of the night worried she was going to end up on the floor." He quipped; humor as a defensive mechanism was a habit he couldn't seem to break.
Anna busied herself with folding his shirt, which he had set on the back of her vanity chair. She seemed to be wrestling with her own mind whether or not to speak. Then she turned and refocused on his eyes, her lips set in a thin line, determined to cut through this facade that he held in place. "Why were you cold? Why didn't you return my calls?"
Finn looked at her and then shrugged as if he was at a loss. "What was there to say, Anna? Like you said, we were at an impasse, and I wasn't sure what would happen."
"You walked out, Finn! You left our house, but you also left this ring on my finger. And then I texted you, and you didn't answer. I tried to talk to you, and you avoided me."
"I wasn't avoiding you."
"You say that, and yet you obviously came home when you know I was out to retrieve things. I'm a spy Finn; I can tell when objects have been moved and disturbed. Do you know what it felt like to be in that kind of limbo?"
"I was doing what I thought was best for Violet. I have to protect her."
"And that is what hurts the most. Don't you know that I would lay down my life to protect that little girl across the hall? Do you really think I would let any harm come to her? Or you? Violet and you...you are my family, as much my family as Robin or Emma or Noah. That you didn't have faith in me to protect the people I love is so painful. Don't you understand that? "
"I do know that, Anna." And he did. "I know that you don't want anything to happen to us. I was worried that you couldn't see the threat."
"I love Violet. You two are a package deal as far as I'm concerned. I missed you and her. I had to walk by her room and pick up her toys, knowing she wasn't going to play with them. If you thought there was the possibility that we couldn't work this out, why didn't you ask for your ring back?"
"Because I didn't want it back. It shouldn't be anywhere but your finger. And I even though I left couldn't wrap my head around the idea of you not being a part of my life."
They fell silent; the proclamations reverberate in the air between them, suffused with cracking tension despite the coolness of their tones. They stood, facing each other, letting the enormity of their confessions sink within their hearts.
"Anna-" he spoke after a moment, but she didn't give him a chance to finish.
"I'm getting into bed," she said abruptly. She walked over to the dresser and pulled it open. Without ceremony, she pulled her blouse over her head and kicked the shoes from her feet. She turned around then reached behind to undo the clasp of her bra, something he would normally have stepped in to help with, but her combative stance and the way frustration laced her every syllable kept him at bay. She put on a pajama set and headed for the bathroom. The sound of running water and brushing let him know she was taking her aggression out on her enamel and gums. She was still in a state of agitation when she returned.
Finn looked at her warily. "Maybe we aren't ready for this yet. I can go downstairs. Or sleep in the guest bedroom for the night-?"
"No!" She said with force. "We are getting in this bed together. Because we made a commitment to each other. And because we love each other. And I won't do this again, have you leave without taking the time to resolve our problem."
"What is our problem, Anna?" He asked he worked to keep his voice moderated.
"Our problem is running away when we need to face things head-on. Our problem is we talk to other people when we should talk to each other!" Anna's voice raised and cracked in the unforeseen outburst of honesty. Only now that their words had ceased, Anna realized how ragged her breathing has become, her chests rising and falling in shallow gasps. She looked at Finn and saw him equally agitated, the flush on his face betrayed the heat of his own temper.
She walked over to the bed and wrenched the covers back and climbed in, pulling the blankets up to her chin. Finn stood for a moment in contemplation and then crossed the room to his side of the bed and got in. He lay flat on his back and stared at the ceiling, hands behind his head, the foot of space between them feeling as wide as the Grand Canyon.
Time seemed to drag on, but Finn remained awake. He didn't feel the mattress shift or move under her weight, so he knew she was lying on her back and was staring upwards as well. Despite the tension that still ran between them, Finn's mood softened. It was good to be next to her again, even though he knew she was still steaming, but he still felt hollow. What he wanted was that feeling of solidarity and comfort back, but he had been the one to withdraw it. He remembered the look of anguish in her eyes, pleading for understanding that his hardened heart could not give. She had reached for him, and he had walked out of her grasp.
They were not used to this; this lack of intimacy, no touching, staying out of each other's personal space. He needed her to know that he regretted leaving her alone and in pain. Every minute of separation had felt like millennia.
He needed a connection.
So he reached out his hand, under the covers, across the cool no-man' s-land that divided them until he could feel the warmth of her. He let his pinky finger brush hers ever so gently, just so she knows he is there. He half expected her to pull away, but she didn't. Then He let the pad of his index finger run down the side of her hand. She surprised him when her hand suddenly covered his. Minutes went by silently before he realized she was still holding his hand. With a sigh, she squeezed it, turned her head to the side, and Finn could feel her eyes on him. And in spite of the darkness, he was sure that she could tell he was smiling.
Her hand moved, and he thought she was finally letting go, withdrawing again. For a brief moment, she did let go of him, he felt the cold seep in, and he didn't like it. But it only lasted a second because she enveloped his hand properly in his and laced their fingers together. Finn considered for a moment before he began to slowly trace his thumb over her palm. Their interplay of fingers was comforting and also essential.
He decided to take a gamble and slid closer to her, so they lay side by side shoulders touching, faces so close he could feel the warmth of her breath on his neck. He unclasped her hand, ran his fingers up and down her forearm, then down the side of her waist to her thigh, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake. He heard the sharp intake of her breath, so he leaned in to take her earlobe in his mouth, his tongue running over it softly, enjoying the sound that came from her as he did.
He turned on his side, rose up on his forearm, and shifted until he was looking down at her. He settled his right hip on top of hers; his hand brushed her hair away from her shoulder and then trailed down her neck before he took her chin in his hand. His eyes searched hers before Finn placed his lips gently against her mouth, his fingers moved down and brushed over her rib cage, and for a moment, Anna forgot to breathe. Then his teeth grazed her lower lip, a silent request for access and forgiveness.
Would she let him in?
Her answer was decisive, and she lifted her head to press her lips firmly against his. Finn did not hesitate for even a second, his arms encircling her waist as he pulled her closer to him, responding to her kiss with equal urgency, desire brewing just beneath the fevered surface of his skin. Anna pressed against his body, soaking up his heat with gratitude. Her mouth moved greedily over his, hands gripping his face, a flip of her tongue making his lips part at once, and she deepened the kiss as if devouring all the words he had spoken, trying to relish their sincerity. The sensation of his kiss was as sweet as ever; the taste of adoration interlaced with a tang of fierce passion. They both groaned as their bodies took over their agitated minds, spoken words no longer having meaning. Finn's hand moved down to her back, gripping her firmly and pulled her hips forward to meet his. There was nothing more comforting to Anna than the feel of his weight on her body
Her hand slid down from his cheek, stroking his neck, down the planes of his torso before settling on the hem of his t-shirt. She pulled at it and swept it off of him. Her hands ran possessively up his back as he explored her body down to her thighs and stripped her bare of her clothing and what was remaining of his. She opened to him, and Anna's arms wrapped around his neck, her lips not leaving his as he settled between her legs. He paused as he rested on his forearms, his body tense over hers while hands grazed his chest in appreciation as he did so.
"I missed you."
"You did?" The timbre of her voice and her dark brown eyes questioned him.
"Yes Anna." the roughness of his voice told the story of nights as lonely as hers.
She smiled softly at the words. Her fingers moved down his chest, over the muscles of his abdomen, until her thumbs could feel the curve of his hip bones. Her eyes glowed in the dark.
"Then show me."
Anna arched her back, bushing her body against his, her hips nudged him forward, communicating that she needed him, and he obeyed at once. She savored the sensation of being together again.
They are a perfect fit in so many ways.
Anna didn't think she could ever tire of this. Finn closed his eyes, lost in the same feeling, the feeling of her surrounding him. But he did not let them linger in the moment as their unfulfilled need urged them on. He pinned her hips down again, harder this time and Anna moaned, her head tilting back. He pushed again and again, each motion of his hips more forceful than the previous one. She loved the view of his hair falling forward over his eyes, moving with the rhythm of their desire for the other. It didn't take long for release, both knowing exactly how to claim it from the other, soon Anna's fingers dug into his back as her body shivered. The pleasure always seemed so effortless when she was with Finn.
Once she stilled, he lifted himself up once again, and she allowed his arms to enfold her, holding her close as the tremble of her body slowly abated. Anna rested her forehead against his and breathed a contented sigh. His chin tilted up, and his lips pressed against her, gentler this time, the eye of calming devotion in the middle of the storm. There was serenity between their joined gazes. They were together. She turned limp in his arms, relaxed and trusting again, humming contentedly as she took a moment to nuzzle his neck, smelling clove and musk—the smell of him.
"This was our first real fight. And I can't promise it will be the last." his voice was husky; still, his arm stretching behind his head as he savored the feel of her body on his.
"Finn-" she pressed her hand firmly against his chest in a gesture of concern, lifting herself up to scrutinize him further. He instantly wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her back to rest on his torso in an attempt to appease her.
"But, I do promise to talk to you. You have always given me honesty, and you deserve it in return," he responded at once, reaching his hand out to stroke her cheek, making Anna close her eyes, savoring the caress.
"I know you were looking out for Violet and me," she admits, leaning into the caress further. "You want us all to be safe, and I do too. I'd never let anything harm either of you. I loved you first on your own merit, but now you and Violet are a package deal, and I love you both. It's easy to love her, and you are doing a marvelous job with her Finn. You were made to be a father. And I love you."
"And we love you. Bella and Otto do too."
Anna chuckled and buried her face in his chest. She felt her eyes grow heavy and decided to let sleep claim her. Finn caressed her shoulder and back until he heard the heavy sound of her breath in sleep. Then he followed her into dreamland with a smile on his face.
There was no place like home.
