Chapter 32: Forward

"Lucy, look, I don't know what you expected. We've been over for a while now, and I told you we're done. I meant that." He sat in a chair beside her in Dr. Cloyd's office. They were waiting for her to finish up with another patient, and so far, the silence had been filled with palpable tension.

"I'm getting help, Daryl," she insisted.

"I'm glad you are, but I can't go back."

"What about the baby?"

"Sometimes stayin' together ain't what's best for the kid. Sometimes I wonder if my folks hadn't stayed together, my life woulda turned out different. Better. Hell, maybe they both woulda got clean. Maybe they'd still be here."

"We're not your parents," Lucy sniffled. "I know I wasn't the best girlfriend. I know I hurt you. I really am sorry."

"I know," he said with a little nod. "But sorry ain't gonna change what happened. It ain't gonna change my mind about us either." Lucy picked at a snag on her jeans, and she looked away shaking her head.

"So where does that leave me?"

"What?"

"You moved on. You met somebody. I'm having your baby. So what happens next?"

"What happens next is we wait for Dr. Cloyd. And if it turns out I'm the dad, we'll have some time to figure out a way to share custody or…"

"Share custody? You didn't even want this baby," Lucy scoffed.

"I didn't want a baby this way," Daryl agreed. "But shit happens. Life happens. And I want to be a dad. If it's mine, I want to be there."

"And your little girlfriend? Where does she factor in?" Daryl sighed and ran the palm of his hand over his face for a moment.

"She's part of my life. I'm hopin' she's gonna be part of my life for the rest of my life." Lucy narrowed her eyes at him, and he took a deep breath. "I love her, Lucy. I know that ain't what you want to hear, but you gotta learn to live with that. What me and you had fucked with my head." Lucy flinched, and Daryl kept going. "I know. It hurts to hear it, but it's gotta be said. I ain't sayin' this to hurt you. I'm sayin' this 'cause it's the truth. What I've got with her don't make me dread wakin' up every mornin'."

"You really hate me, don't you?" Daryl sighed and shook his head.

"I did for a while. I don't now. I can't hate you, 'cause hatin' ain't good for me. I'm happy now, and makin' time to hate anybody takes away from that." Lucy nodded then and blinked her tears away.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, before Lucy finally took a deep breath and turned to look at him again. But before she could say a word, Dr. Cloyd stepped into the office with some papers in her hands.

"Hey, sorry about the wait, guys. My last appointment went a little over. Twins. Nervous parents." She cleared her throat and sat down. "So, let's just get down to what we're all here for. Sound good?" Lucy and Daryl glanced at each other for a moment before turning their attention back to the doctor. "The DNA test came back a match. Daryl, the probability that you're the father came back at 99.3%." Daryl let out a slow breath and looked at Lucy staring right at him.

"I told you."

"You told me," he said with a nod. "You also cheated, so you gotta understand why I wanted a test."

"Look, I know it's not my place to say anything…again," Denise began, "but now you know. It's time to make plans and move forward for everybody's sake. Pointing fingers and saying 'I told you so' never helped anybody." She cleared her throat and stood up. "I have another patient to get to. You both take all the time you need. If you have any questions…"

"We're fine. Thanks," Daryl said with a nod. Denise offered a tense smile before leaving her office. Daryl looked back at Lucy. "Hey, I told you I was gonna be there for my kid. I meant that. I'm gonna take care of my kid." Lucy nodded, and she let out a shaky breath.

"So that's it? We're really done?"

"We been done for a long time, Lucy."

"I want to meet her."

"What?"

"Your girlfriend. I want to know who she is. If she's going to be around my kid, I want to know who she is." Daryl nodded then and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Alright." Lucy's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Alright?"

"Yeah. She's gonna be a part of my life and our kid's life. I want you to know her. Just like I'd wanna know when you bring a guy around our kid. If I'm gonna be honest with you, you gotta be honest with me."

"Okay," Lucy said with a somber nod. "So, are you gonna tell me who she is?"

"I'm gonna talk to her first, let her know the results. Then we'll go from there."

"What, are you afraid she'll back out now that it's real you're having a kid?"

"No. Not her. She wouldn't do that." Lucy scoffed, and Daryl got up from the chair. "I gotta go, Lucy."

"Yeah, you don't wanna keep her waiting," Lucy sighed.

"Don't be like that. That's just gonna make things worse for everybody." He turned the leave, but then he stopped at the door. "I hope you find somebody that makes you happy, Lucy. I know ya probably don't believe that, but I do." He chewed his lip for a moment before ducking his head. "Moving on is the best thing I coulda done. You should try it." He turned and left then, feeling like a weight had lifted. Now he knew. Now he could plan. And best of all, he knew Carol was going to be a part of those plans, and he couldn't wait to get started.

...

Carol pulled into her driveway about thirty seconds before Daryl pulled up on his motorcycle outside of Lucy's house. Carol noticed another car behind Rosita's in the wide drive, and she sighed. She managed a glance back at the motorcycle and waved to Daryl before motioning toward the house.

"I've got to check on Sophia."

"Yeah, no problem. Come out when you're ready," he said with a nod. Carol flashed him a nervous smile before heading up onto her front porch and stepping into the house. Sophia was in the living room watching cartoons, while Rosita flipped through a text book.

"Mommy!" Sophia shouted, getting up from the couch and hurrying over to hug her.

"Hi, baby," Carol laughed, bending down to hug her little girl. "How was school?"

"Good! I got a gold star on my spelling test."

"That's great, honey! I'm so proud of you. Can I see it?"

"Uh-huh! It's on the fridge."

"Will you get it for me?"

"Yep!" Sophia hurried off toward the kitchen, and Carol turned toward Rosita with her hands on her hips. Rosita looked up at her with wide eyes.

"What?"

"I know who's car that is behind yours."

"It's really not what you think," Rosita insisted, putting her book down.

"I told you, no guys at the house while you're here. I know you two are adults, but Sophia…"

"We wouldn't do anything around Sophia," Rosita said with a sigh. "We aren't stupid. I called him over because Sophia downloaded some new game on your computer, and now you have a brand new virus. He's great with computers, so I figured I'd have him come over and fix it. That's it. I swear."

"A virus?" Carol groaned.

"Yeah. Great, huh? I know it's not my place to ground your kid, but I told Sophia no more computer time for a week."

"I think that's fair," Carol offered with a tired chuckle. Just then, Glenn Rhee came walking down the hallway and into the living room. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Carol standing there with Rosita.

"Oh. Hey," he said awkwardly, looking to Rosita for a little help. "I was just…uh…" Rosita rolled her eyes.

"Relax, babe. I told her you were fixing the computer."

"Oh. Yeah. Uh, it's all done."

"Thanks, Glenn. What do I owe you?"

"Nothing. It was an easy fix. No worries," he shrugged. "Rosita, you ready to go?"

"Actually," Carol interjected, "if you don't have plans, would the two of you mind hanging out here with Sophia for a few more minutes?"

"Yeah, sure. What's up?" Rosita asked.

"I just have something to do. I'll be next door."

"Next door? Isn't that where the crazy pregnant chick lives?" Glenn asked. Carol glanced at him for a moment before turning her attention back to Rosita, who smiled sheepishly at her.

"I won't be long," Carol insisted. Sophia came running back into the living room with her spelling test in her hand.

"See? I didn't even miss one." She handed the paper to her mother. Carol took the paper and beamed down at her daughter.

"Sophia, this is great! You're doing such a good job."

"And Carl taught me how to spell a word. Want to hear it?"

"Sure," Carol offered.

"Okay! Ready? B-U-T-T-H-O—"

"—kay!" Carol interrupted. "Remind me to have a little chat with your brother!" Glenn laughed, and Rosita elbowed him in the ribs.

"Ow! What? It's funny."

"Mommy, did I spell a bad word?"

"We'll talk about it before bed, ok, baby?"

"Okay," Sophia sighed. "Are you leaving?"

"Mommy's just going next door," Carol promised. "But I've got a surprise guest for supper."

"Who?!" Sophia asked, jumping up and down.

"It's a surprise, silly," Carol insisted. "I'll be back in a few minutes, alright?" Sophia nodded and hurried to put her spelling test back up in the kitchen. Carol mouthed a silent thank you to Rosita and Glenn before heading outside.

Daryl was still standing on the sidewalk, finishing the last of his cigarette, and Lucy was just walking out of her house. Carol felt the knots tighten in her gut, and she took a deep breath. It was now or never, and when it came to Daryl, never wasn't an option. So, she straightened up and started down her porch steps, heading down into the yard and toward Lucy's porch.

"What are you doing here, Daryl?" Lucy asked, crossing her arms over her blossoming middle.

"You said you wanted to know who she is," Daryl said quietly.

"Yeah, but you wouldn't tell me," Lucy pointed out, rolling her eyes. "What changed your mind between the doctor's office and here?" She glanced over to see Carol stepping over. "Oh. Hey, Carol. Uh, can you give me a minute?"

"Hi, Lucy," Carol said quietly.

"Look, we're kinda having a private conversation here," Lucy said a little shortly. "Can you give me a minute?"

"She can stay," Daryl said quietly. Carol stepped out of the yard and onto the sidewalk beside Daryl.

"Fine," Lucy snorted. She eyed Carol and then Daryl, and Carol cleared her throat.

"Lucy, I know things haven't worked out exactly how you wanted them to, but life rarely does," Carol said quietly. "I just want you to know that whatever happens, I'm not trying to overstep my bounds."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Lucy asked, narrowing her eyes at Carol. She looked at Daryl then, and she watched the way he glanced at Carol and how his gaze softened and his fingers twitched anxiously like he wanted to reach out and touch her. When Carol looked to Daryl with the same softness and care, Lucy felt the breath leave her lungs. "Oh God."

"Lucy," Daryl said quietly. "Me and Carol…"

"You…" She let out a dry laugh and covered her mouth with her hand. Carol and Daryl looked to each other before turning their attention back to Lucy. "You're…okay, this is a joke, right?"

"It's not a joke," Carol said quietly.

"You two? Are you fucking kidding me?" Lucy asked. "Since when?"

"What does it matter?" Daryl asked.

"It matters. How long? Were you fucking him the day I came into the ER? When you sat with me all day?" She pointed at Carol, and her eyes welled with tears. Carol sighed softly and took a step toward her, but Daryl reached out and touched her hand. Lucy's anger turned toward Daryl. "Really? You're going to protect her but not the mother of your kid?"

"Oh Jesus," Daryl cringed. "Lucy, stop it."

"Lucy," Carol insisted, "I know…"

"Don't," Lucy sniffled. "I really don't want to hear anything you have to say."

"Okay," Carol said quietly. She looked at Daryl. "It's ok. I should go."

"Carol," Daryl murmured softly. "Hey…"

"It's ok," Carol offered with a little smile. "Really." She nodded at him and looked back to Lucy, who had gone rigid and refused to even look her in the eye. "We can do this some other time. It's…it's fine." She gave his hand a squeeze, and then she turned to leave Lucy's steps. Daryl let out a heavy breath and looked up at Lucy.

"You gotta stop this. Ain't nothin' gonna change what happened." He glanced over at Carol as she took the steps up to her own porch. "I'm in love with Carol. She's gonna be in my life. She's gonna be in our kid's life. You really wanna do this? You're gonna make our kid's life hell. Just stop it, Lucy. I can't do this. If you're gonna be like this, if you're gonna shut down every time somethin' doesn't go your way, I'm gonna have to…"

"To what? Huh? You wanna take the baby away from me? Is that it?"

"I didn't say that. Fuck, you gotta stop actin' like this. You acted like you hated me when we were together. And you're mad I moved on? You gotta grow up, Luce. I know you were used to your daddy givin' you everything, and you were used to bein' the center of attention, but it ain't like that anymore. You gotta learn to deal with shit without bringin' everybody else down with you. I don't want that life for my kid. And I don't think you do either." He shrugged and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Don't know what else to say, Lucy. I'm done fightin'."

He turned and walked away, heading down the sidewalk toward his bike. He heard Lucy turn and disappear into her house, and when he reached the bike and started to grab for his helmet, he looked up in time to see Carol's babysitter leaving with her boyfriend. The younger man waved in Daryl's direction, and Daryl nodded, and when he looked back at his bike, he realized the last thing he wanted to do was go home and spend the evening missing Carol. He was done walking around eggshells to avoid a dramatic mess with Lucy. Life was messy with the good and the bad and the in between. And he didn't want to waste one more minute living his life with the what ifs weighing on his shoulders.

So, he turned and walked the short distance to Carol's porch steps, and when he rang her doorbell and saw the teary surprise in her eyes when she opened the door, he knew he'd made the right choice.

"Hey," she sniffled.

"Hey," he offered with a little smile. "You feelin' up for some company?" She nodded then and let out a little laugh.

"Yeah, I'd like that. Um, and I know Sophia would. I already sort of told her we were having company for dinner. Thanks for keeping me honest." Daryl nodded then and reached out to take her hand.

"Hell, m'sorry it went down like that. It was better than I thought, but…"

"You don't have to apologize. She's hurt and angry. She's not over you, Daryl."

"I know. Don't know what to say except everything I want is right here." He squeezed her hand. Carol let out something between a laugh and a cry, and she tugged on his hand.

"Good, because I plan on sticking around," she chuckled. Daryl grinned and leaned in to kiss her. "I love you."

"Love you," he whispered back. She sniffled and gently rubbed her thumb over his lower lip before pulling back giving his hand a tug.

"Come in. Come in. I know a certain little girl who's eager to see our dinner guest." She led him into the house and turned to shut the door, pausing for a moment to close her eyes and breathe a sigh of relief that they didn't have to hide anymore. As difficult and emotional as letting Lucy know the truth had been, Carol was simply glad they didn't have to hide anymore. Now they could look forward, and the worry and anxiety that had once settled in her gut had been replaced by the excitement of that next step and the hope of holding onto something that meant everything.

Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed the chapter. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated!