Chapter 59
SPOV
I woke up early having not slept very well and decided I needed to keep myself busy to keep my mind off Carlos. I was worried and I didn't know why, yes I did, I was worried he'd be sent away, I kept myself busy during the morning doing searches, making me remember why I hated them so much. Most of the files were from Tank looking at new clients and none of them raised any concerns. Les was around and he talked me into buying pizzas to take to the bonds office so that I could catch up with what was happening there. As we'd pulled up in front of the office, I felt nervous, it seemed like an age since I'd been here. I could see Connie sat working at her computer and Lula in her position on the couch. Les carried the pizza in as I opened the door to squeals from Connie.
"Steph, it's so good to see you, maybe even better to see those pizzas being carried in"
"I thought I was due to buy the lunch. How you doing?"
"Good. I may be seeing someone"
"Maybe?"
"Well we've met up for coffee a couple of times and he's asked me out on a date"
"Wow, that's great. Do I know him?"
I watched as she glanced at Les before turning back to me.
"Let's get started on this pizza before it gets cold"
Les just shrugged his shoulders as he placed the open box on the desk next to Connie.
"So Steph, we heard you were working out of town, you back now?"
"Yeah. I just wanted to get caught up first"
"Have you heard about Morelli"
"Some, why what's the story"
"He had some trouble with a girl in New York"
"Trouble?"
"Yeah, she didn't like that he didn't want to be cuffed to the bed"
Now that I could empathize with. Morelli had tried to talk me into being fastened up, but I refused unless he let me do it to him first. Needless to say, he didn't like that idea.
"So what did he do?"
"Cuffed her to it instead and then she tried to press assault charges against him"
"Wow, so is it all sorted out?"
"Not sure. Vinnie bonded him out and said there was some other shit involved as well"
Yeah, that would be when he tried to kidnap me.
"He's still hot for ye"
I was surprised when Lula spoke out, she'd been quiet since we'd arrived.
"We finished weeks ago Lula, he knows how I feel"
"Yeah well for some stupid reason he still thinks ya need saving"
"Why would he think that?"
"I dunno"
"So Steph are you here to pick up some files?"
"Yeah, girl, you an me can go pick em up"
"I heard you've moved across to be an apprehension agent Lula, I don't want to take away your captures"
"I'll give ye a cut, like you gave me"
Yeah like I could live on that. Then I realized I didn't need to worry about money, maybe what Carlos had suggested would work better for both of us. In fact, I could make sure most of the capture fee went back into Rangeman. I looked from Connie to Lula trying to decide if that was what I wanted.
I didn't owe Lula anything, in fact it was because of me that she wasn't working the streets anymore. I'd keep in touch with Connie and as for Vinnie, well over the years I'd just about kept him in business and helped him when he got himself into trouble. Did I feel justified in staying here if all I would get was grief. No, I could support myself now, and if it didn't work out working with Rangeman I'd find something else to do. I suddenly felt much better having come to that decision.
"It's okay Lula, I'll leave you to it, then you'll get the full amount"
"Humph, we not good enough for ye?"
"Lula, Steph would get her own files, she wouldn't have to help you with yours"
"I'm gonna go then and get me some skips"
I couldn't understand what had happened with Lula. I know we'd not parted on the best of terms the last time I saw her, but why the attitude now? I watched as she stomped out of the door, her fuchsia pink lycra outfit she had on seemed even tighter than usual. As she walked the red beads in her dyed hair clicked loudly. It was as if I was looking at her with fresh eyes. How the hell did I agree to have her go after skips looking like that.
"Steph"
"Sorry Connie"
"She's changed"
"Why?"
"Had some bad run ins with a couple of men"
"Did they hurt her?"
"Hell no, they just couldn't put up with her shit and told her"
"Is that why she's funny with me?"
"She's jealous of you Steph"
"Me?"
"She hates that you have Morelli after you"
"She wants him she can have him"
"Not him. She sees you in a relationship and for some reason she just can't make one work. Then she sees you as the bounty hunter, superior to her filing job"
"That's stupid. I take her with me when I can"
"Yeah but it's you that gets the accolade"
"You mean the food thrown at me and my cars blown up"
"You're in the paper, a heroine. She sees herself as your sidekick"
"I never treated her like that"
"I know Steph and I know you gave her part of the capture fee. That last one, Buckley. She was annoyed because she missed out on her cut"
"We both missed out on that one"
"Well now she has what you had"
"How's she doing with the skips?"
"She's not. She gets them annoyed, then she gets annoyed and starts to threaten them. She lost her precious Bluebird down on Stark but somehow managed to buy a replacement"
"How?"
"Not sure. I don't think she's doing tricks"
"So Vinnie's struggling then?"
"He's not bonding out as many, he's going for the high bonds so Rangeman will bring them in"
"Maybe it is time I moved on then"
"Maybe, I know I'm looking around for something else"
"Does Vinnie know?"
"Hell no, though I still threaten him I'll leave if he doesn't stop the games in the back room"
"Joyce?"
"Yes, though recently they've been meeting somewhere else"
"He needs to be careful, if Harry or Lucille find out there'll be hell to pay"
"So you gonna tell me about that rock on your hand"
"I, err, found myself a man"
"Obviously not super cop, so it must be Batman"
"Err, yeah"
"Congratulations Steph, I'm really pleased for you"
"Thanks Connie, but Connie, you have got to keep this absolutely and totally a secret"
"Why?"
"I haven't spoken with my mother"
"I know there's no talk around town. Your secrets safe with me as long as I'm the first you call after you've spoken to her"
"Will do. So, this man of yours?"
"Oh no, I want to see how this date goes first"
"Then I want to be the first to know as well"
The pizza had gone and for some reason Les was looking at me and then at his watch, what was that about?
"I need to be going Connie, I've still got a lot of things to do"
"I'm glad you're back, we need to meet up if you're not coming back here"
"I'd like that Connie. Have a good date"
"I will. Bye Steph"
As we left the office Les just about pulled me to the car and helped me in. I was getting a little annoyed at what he'd done.
"Les what the hell was that about?"
"Hector messaged to say Morelli was headed this way"
"How the, Lula, I bet she called him"
"Maybe, but I didn't want you having to deal with him on your own"
"You were with me"
"I know, but Ranger would kill me if anything happened to you"
"Why would Morelli want to see me?"
"No idea. Now about that rock?"
"It just shows how observant you lot are"
"When did it happen?"
"The night we went to the restaurant"
"I'm really happy for you Beautiful. I knew you two would get yourselves together eventually"
"Yeah well, maybe all the crap I've dealt with was worth it"
"So now where?"
"My apartment"
"Beautiful you can't go back there"
"Who said I was, I have some things to pick up"
"You're moving to Rangeman permanently?"
"Yeah, can you cope with that?"
"No problem Beautiful"
As we parked in the car park Les held my door open and helped me out. We took the stairs and as we walked to my door, I handed Les the keys. I'd miss being here, but not the constant worry that someone might be inside when I opened the door.
"Beautiful I told you someone had been in looking for something, so remember it happened a few weeks ago"
"I'll be fine Les "
"I know, but they did a lot of damage"
As I walked through the hall and into the kitchen I just hadn't imagined it would as bad as it was. Not only had they emptied the contents of the cupboards on the floor, but they'd pulled the cupboards off the wall. There wasn't a space on the floor not covered in debris. I bent down as something caught my eye and picked up a piece of pale blue pottery with a swirl of yellow on it. It was a fragment of my cookie jar. That jar had lasted through so many break ins and firebombs and now it lay in pieces on the floor.
I made my way into the lounge, seeing the fragments of fabric from my couch and pillows but was surprised that the coffee table was stood upright in its usual position. I made my way over intrigued that an envelope had been placed on it. My name, Stephanie, was written on the envelope in writing that I recognized. I couldn't understand why he would leave it here. Without thinking I picked it up and tore the envelope open revealing a sheet of paper. As I read it I was angry, then confused and by the time I'd finished reading I felt sad.
"Beautiful, what's wrong?"
"Morelli must have been here and decided to leave this letter for me"
"What does he want?"
"Forgiveness"
"Beautiful he "
"In some ways it explains a lot and in other ways I know I have to do something"
"Like what?"
"Make things right"
I placed the letter inside my pocket to make sure Les didn't get hold of it. I would talk with Carlos before I did anything, explain to him why I felt I needed to do it and I'm sure in the end he would agree with me.
There were very few things that meant a lot to me and I'd kept them in a shoe box in the cleaning cupboard in the hallway. That way I knew they wouldn't get damaged if something happened to my apartment. Nothing here was worth salvaging. I'd pay for someone to come in and clear the place out and restore the damaged kitchen and closet.
"There's nothing here Les, I just need to collect a box from the cupboard in the hall"
"Why there?"
"It seemed safer than in here"
"Hell Beautiful it you knew it wasn't safe why did you live here?"
"Nowhere else I wanted to go"
I collected my shoe box and walked down the stairs. I knew I wouldn't be coming back here. I'd moved on, maybe changed a bit but certainly found myself, found what I truly wanted. Once back at Rangeman I headed up to seven, a part of me willing Carlos to be there, even though I knew it was a stupid thought. I left my keys in the tray and toed off my boots, slowly undressing as I headed for the shower. Once dressed in a T-shirt and shorts I collected my jeans, sweater and underwear dropping them into the basket in the bathroom. Suddenly remembering that the letter from Morelli was in my jeans pocket I retrieved it and lay on the couch to read it again.
"My dearest Cupcake. I'm not sure where to begin in telling you how I feel. I do you love you very much, but I realize that what we have isn't the deep true love needed to forge a life together. I've had time away from you to know that you aren't the woman I think you are or want you to be. It doesn't stop me from worrying about you.
I had a stupid incident happen in New York, and let's just say it gave me a wake-up call. I came back to Trenton hoping to make things right between us only to discover that you were once again in trouble. I didn't know Ranger was looking out for you and was taken in by a man called Gannon. Seems he's a Major with the army. When the plan to rescue you with a warrant failed, I used some bikers to help get you to safety with him. I'm sorry if I hurt you or scared you.
I should never have doubted that you'd be safer with Ranger. He will always be the one there for you, I hope you can see that. I know it's asking a lot. Forgiveness is a hard thing to give, but it's something I need from you so I can move on. Forgive that young kid I was and the teenager I became. I'll be finished if you press charges against me.
Please Cupcake, give me a chance to rebuild my life, be the man I know I can be. I'm planning on heading over to the west coast, away from the mayhem of Trenton. Forgive me because I am truly sorry for all the wrongs I did you. Joe
I seem to remember not long ago that there were people I needed to forgive. Carlos had been the hardest one because he was the only person who could break me. I knew then that I would forgive him as I did the others. Could I forgive Joe? I think so, we both hurt and used each other, and I knew I couldn't be responsible for destroying him completely because it would destroy something inside of me. I sat up and pulled the box onto my knee, placing the letter inside.
The last time I remember being awake was when I was laid on the couch watching a film. So how was I now in bed with the covers pulled over me? I had the strangest feeling there was someone in the room and a sudden tingling on my neck almost made me jump out of bed. Carlos was home. But why wasn't he here in bed? I ever so slowly lifted my eyelids a fraction, the scene in front of me bringing back memories of when I had been living in my apartment. I knew Ranger would often sit in my bedroom and watch me sleep. At first, I thought it was just my imagination. Then it freaked me out a bit, but after a while it gave me comfort to know he was there. Never once did I let him know that I knew. But now I was beginning to feel worried. Why was he watching me, was there something wrong? Did he have to leave for a long time? Or was he regretting me being here? I heard the rustle of fabric and felt him sit next to me.
"Carlos what's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong. I love to watch you sleep"
"You're not leaving?"
"No"
"You don't regret me being here?"
"Never"
"I was worried"
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you"
"You look tired"
"I am, it's been a long day and tomorrow I have a lot to do"
I watched as he stripped off his clothes and felt the bed dip as he crawled in beside me. I turned into him, wrapping and arm over his chest and a leg over his. His arm slid under me and pulled tighter.
"I love Babe"
"I love you too"
