A/N for 2020-04-4: Many thanks to chaysara for beta-ing this story. As usual, I fiddled with her work after the fact, so all errors are my own. I hope you are all doing well in these uncertain times.

- Erin


Charlie had looked at her levelly when she explained where she'd be next Wednesday night. "Spending the night with Edward?"

"That," she said, blowing a breath over her coffee, "was not what I said. I'm spending the night at the Cullens."

"Hmph," he replied.

After a few minutes, he put down the paper, frowning. "You don't have plans to go to Seattle anytime soon, do you?"

"No, why?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Gettin' ugly there," he said and then mumbled something that sounded like, "and around here too." He passed the paper to her. "I know you've thought of going back to school there, but . . . I wasn't sure what your plans were now with"— he gestured uncertainly with his hand—"Edward in the picture." He mumbled into his cup.

Bella sighed. Edward was definitely in the picture. Edward was so much in the picture that he was the picture. "Yes," she said to herself, tapping her fingers on her cup.

Charlie looked up from the paper and then down again. "Are things still moving slowly in that department?"

Oh sure, Bella thought, discussions of marriage and life and death together, who raises Sarah if I die.

"Um . . . ," she started, not wanting to lie.

"I'm not blind, Bella," Charlie said, still studying the paper, giving her space to blush in private.

She sighed. "It's that obvious, huh?"

He said something that sounded like a half-born snort. "Your mother called me asking if I was, in her words, 'on top of this', and no, I have no idea what that means, but yes, I get that you two are serious."

"We are," Bella said carefully.

"He seems . . . really good with Sarah," Charlie said. "And that's . . . not something I would have expected." He was looking at her now. "I'm trying to get over my prejudices."

"Thank you, Dad." Bella said. "I appreciate that."

"I just hope neither of us comes to regret it."

Today, she didn't think she could ever regret her and Edward being together, but said nothing, smiling to herself over her coffee. That Charlie was more open to Edward was near miraculous. So was being together with Edward. She'd take her miracles where she could.

Her class on Thursday seemed to run at a much faster pace than the one before. There was partner-work this time, and a project, too, due in two weeks. Matt, who lived halfway between Forks and Port Angeles, suggested they might work together. "Sure," Bella said, silencing her smile. Talk about testing promises. Time would tell, she supposed.

The notes, at least, were easier to take with a laptop.

"Whoa," one of the other classmates said, "where'd you get that?"

"Oh, it's a loan from a friend," she said, having no idea what the 'Whoa' referred to.

"I didn't think those were out yet," the boy continued. "Can I have a look?" he asked.

"Sure." Bella shrugged. She was just glad it had a word processor. She listened to her classmate and his friend mumble in what sounded like an unintelligible language over it, reverently passing it back to her. "I wish I had friends like that," he said. "And you're using it for notes?" he asked, as if there was something wrong with this.

Edward smiled when she emerged at the end of class. He'd taken a bottle for Sarah and insisted Bella get a chance to meet her classmates. Her other classmates, he'd suggested, at breaktime. He'd arrived a little after the class had ended, Sarah babbling happily in one arm, gnawing contentedly on Edward's finger.

"Ready?" he asked, lightly touching her back. He could hear Matt's thoughts and, if he'd lacked good judgment, would have pulled her into a possessive embrace and kissed her in a way that left no mystery as to who he was in Bella's life. But, he had the advantage of age and simply smiled politely at Matt when the boy's glance caught his eye.

"I'll text," Bella said, waving to Matt. As she turned to face Edward and Sarah, her smile grew, making her cheeks glow. "Hi," she said softly to Edward, standing on tiptoes to kiss him and then reaching for Sarah. Her daughter squawked in displeasure and resumed chewing on Edward's finger.

"Wow," Bella said, eyebrows up. "That's new."

Edward grinned. "Built-in teething relief. Better me than you."

"I'll say," Bella said, absentmindedly folding her arms across her chest. Sarah had bitten her for the first time days before. Nursing now felt like a nervous gamble.

Bella was beginning to regret registering for two classes. One was online, which saved her from being physically present for a lecture, but it meant more reading, and Sarah was beginning to demand more of her active time.

It was Billy who pointed a finger at her in warning. "Too much," he said over Sunday dinner. "And not accepting enough help."

Between Edward taking Sarah during class and Charlie, who shooed her out of the house at least once a week to go for a walk, with a "Go grocery shopping, if you must, but get out for a bit!" Bella wasn't sure she was much of a parent in between it all.

She said as much to Billy, embarrassed at just how much help she'd already needed and had.

"You know," he said, taking her hand, "they don't talk about it 'taking a village' for nothing." He went on. "I know you don't have a car right now, but we can figure out some time so I can take her. You can at least read or get some school work done then."

"Thank you, Billy," she said with more feeling than she expected. "That means a lot."

"You can always count on me," he said, "all of us. You're family."

And so, Sue picked up Sarah on Wednesday morning. "Good work," Sue told her. "I'm glad you're taking Billy up on the offer."

"Why?" Bella asked. Billy'd done so much already.

"Billy needs some grandpa time, and you need some you time. It's easier when you're not there."

Bella's eyebrows went up at this.

"Don't take it the wrong way," Sue said, waving her hand at Bella, "but you'll come running if she cries. This way," she smiled at Sarah, "Billy and Sarah get some real time together, and you can focus."

It was strange, watching Sue drive away with Sarah. She was excited for the time to read, to write, and to work on her project with Matt, but felt a guilty squirm. Time alone felt odd. She'd shooed Edward away, dismissing his protests that his black eyes meant nothing. He hunted, but not as much as he needed to, and she'd felt guilty watching them darken in hunger. She knew Esme was nearby, somewhere, but that she'd be largely undisturbed.

After running through a few chores with two free hands—which was a luxury unto itself—she took her books and walked over to the small café in town where Matt was meeting her later.

She sat, reading, studying, and writing for a full hour before Matt arrived. She felt like a whole new person by then.

"Whoa," he said, seeing her, "no baby."

"No." She smiled, moving her books aside. "It would be kinda counter-productive to have her here."

"Too bad," he said, sitting down, and pulling out his own notebook. "She's cute."

"Yes, she is," Bella said, smiling. "So, what are your thoughts for the introduction?"

Through texts to one another, they'd split up the work the weekend before.

"Right," Matt said, "to business."

But Matt, it became clear, was less interested in the schoolwork and more interested in socializing.

"Is Sarah with Edward?"

"No," she said, making a quick note, "with her grandpa." They didn't have much time, and she was trying to be efficient with it. She pushed her presentation notes towards him, frowning at his, which were scant and poorly planned.

"She looks a lot like you, not much like her dad."

"What?" Bella said, looking up from her writing.

"Your baby doesn't look like her dad."

"Edward?"

"Yeah."

"He's not her dad," she mumbled.

"Oh," Matt said, pretending to write something down. He at least had the manners to look embarrassed, presuming so much.

"Her dad died last year," Bella said softly, hoping this would push him back into the safe territory of work.

But no.

"Sorry," he said. "What happened?"

"Car accident," she said tersely. "September. Do you have other notes?" She tapped her pencil on the table.

"Sure," he said, fishing through a pile of loose papers in his bag.

Damn. She would pick someone disorganized to work with.

He leaned too close to her when he brought out a crumpled piece of paper. "Here," he said.

More gobbledygook. Scanning it, Bella recognized notes on a basic library search. Useless.

She sighed. "I think," she said, "that maybe we need to do a bit more work before we actually put together this presentation."

"Sure." Matt smiled in a way that showed he was aiming to be endearing. Bella was finding it annoying. "Love to. Want to maybe grab a coffee for now?" he suggested.

"No, actually," Bella said, counting her precious few remaining minutes. What a waste of time. "I should get home and get some things done."

"Oh, c'mon," Matt said, "stay and have a drink." He had put his hand over hers, cocking his head to the side. "When was the last time you had coffee with a friend?"

She smiled, a nervous reaction. He'd jumped the queue from classmate to friend awfully fast. "Thanks, no. I'll email you with my notes."

He stood, his solid shape blocking her path to the door, still smiling, "Is Edward that possessive?"

She hissed in a breath at his presumption. The temptation to do more was strong, but the ache in her right hand was a warning. The memory of its brokenness and all the consequences of that impetuous choice rippled through her.

"No," she said, "because I am not a possession. Move, please. Now."

Matt shrugged. "'kay, see you next week."

"Don't count on it," Bella muttered and pushed past him.

Edward was standing across the street, leaning against his car, hands in his pockets. He appeared conspicuously casual.

Bella stopped, looking at him, eventually crossing to join him. "Hey," she said, "I wasn't expecting you here. I thought you were—"

"I was," he said softly, "with Alice."

"Oh," she said. "I see." Then she reached up and pulled his sunglasses down a fraction of an inch to reveal his still very black eyes. "And you didn't actually hunt." She made it sound every bit like the accusation it was.

"No," he admitted. "Alice foresaw . . . difficulties," and he lifted his chin in the direction she'd come from. He'd put his hands on her hips, drawing her close.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Nothing I couldn't handle."

"Oh no," Edward smiled, "you did beautifully. It was the other . . . possibilities that were a little dicey." He looked at her right hand, resting on his arm.

She chuckled. "It did cross my mind."

"Mmm-hmm," he said. "So, seeing as I'm here, can I offer you a ride home?"

"Nope," she said, "I'm walking."

"Why?" he asked, as if he found the activity distasteful.

"Well," she said, "We had a deal, and you haven't kept your end of it. "

"Easily remedied," he said.

"Yes, it is," she smiled. "Glad you're going to go do that."

Matt chose this moment to emerge from the cafe, ducking away down the street. Edward's eyes followed him.

"You can say it if you want," Bella mumbled, watching his gaze.

"Say what?" Edward asked, still tracking the boy's movements with his eyes.

"That you were right."

He snapped his attention back to her. "That would be unkind . . . .and frankly, I was rather hoping I'd be proven wrong."

Bella sighed. "Well, you were right, it seems. I should probably see about doing this project by myself." She frowned.

"A ride home could give you extra time to get that work done before Sarah's back," Edward murmured, leaning forward, kissing her forehead.

"Somehow," she said, pushing herself back, "I see distractions along the way." She grinned. "Happy hunting. I'll see you later," and she walked away.

Edward was still absent when Alice picked her and Sarah up later. "Oh good," she said, "I'm really glad you didn't punch him. I saw another cast coming out of that move."

Bella ignored this obvious taunt, asking instead, "Edward's still gone?"

"Yes," Alice said pertly, adding nothing else.

"Why?"

"Hunting," she said.

Bella eyed her shrewdly, knowing it was useless to press for more information. She huffed out a breath.

Esme was ready for her though.

"How did you know?" Bella asked, seeing what she'd made. "That's my favourite. Oh," and she took a bite, "that's Grandma's recipe." She looked at Esme, who smiled knowingly.

"I might have gotten it from Charlie," she said, waving a hand airily.

"The powers you wield," Bella murmured to her over the food. "This is amazing, thank you."

"I figured you could use a break from cooking," she said, looking over at Sarah, who was giggling in Rose's arms. She and Alice were making faces together, trying to get the baby to laugh.

"I barely feel like I've been her mother today," Bella said.

Esme snorted.

Bella didn't think she'd ever heard her make so graceless or derisive a sound.

"Motherhood is not a series of actions or chores" she said firmly. "It's who you are. Just as being a father is. It alters you permanently. There is no 'being' someone's mother, you simply are."

Bella wondered what this made Edward.

She'd insisted on putting Sarah to bed herself, having been away from her most of the day. She wanted the reassurance of her small body next to her own. When Sarah was fully asleep, she carefully transferred her to the bassinet by the bed.

Not to later, after refusing Alice's many offers of bodily ministrations, Bella insisted she was ready to sleep herself.

Standing in Edward's room, she looked at the bed. It seemed even larger and more daunting than before. Quietly, so as not to disturb Sarah, she pulled the bedspread off and dragged it and a pillow over to the couch. She watched the dark of the trees, their subtle dance illuminated by the rare clarity of the moon.

When she woke sometime later, it was dark, and she realized she was entirely too comfortable to be lying on a sofa.

"Sorry," Edward whispered, "I didn't meant to wake you."

"Mmm," she said happily, "you're back."

He answered by sliding himself fully into the bed beside her. She rested her head on his arm.

"Did you hunt?"

"Yes," he whispered, kissing her neck.

"Good," she murmured, yawning.

"What is it, exactly, that you object to about this bed?

"Nothing." She chuckled. "It's just . . . intimidating."

"Well," he said, hitching her leg up, and rolling her on top of him, "you're the inaugural user, so consider it yours."

"What," she said, smiling, "are you doing?"

He rolled her over again, bringing her to the centre of the bed. "Just demonstrating its capacity for movement."

She giggled but felt other, stronger sensations swirling up her legs. He was perched over her, his weight just a suggestion brushing over her clothes. He brought a kiss to her clavicle, running his lips lightly up and down her jaw, finding that tender spot—yes, there, that one—on her neck, that made her gasp. She felt like a worm, pinned, squirming under the pleasure of his touch.

His hands were not so obedient this time, and neither were hers.

Her night clothes were loose and worn for the ease of access that allowed Sarah to nurse. Their stretch accomodated the span of a man's hands just as well.

She realized that the worry and nervousness that had touched her along with his hands were noticeably truant. Despite the press of his weight, brought gently down over her, she felt that familiar lightness that had touched her before. The anxiety, so precisely carved into her life by Edward's time gone, was fracturing, loosening, like an egg cracked.

She wondered what was about to be born.

These ruminations and the heavy breaths that marked them were stilled by Sarah's small but insistent wail.

Edward stopped, hands on either side of her, smiling, sighing, and kissing her forehead. He rolled to the side and scooped Sarah up, handing her to Bella. He took his place behind her, an arm around her waist, watching Sarah's contended squirm. With an ache he'd never expected, he longed to be able to call them his family.


DISCLAIMER: S. Meyer owns Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.