"You must be Commodore Uzumaki Naruto," Anko said pleasantly. "My daughter has told me so much about you. It's wonderful to meet you at last."

Naruto grinned genially but his eyes were cold. "My dear Anko, I believe this will go so much more smoothly if we agree not to lie to each other."

Anko raised an elegant brow and tilted her head just so. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Fine, I'll start. I'm here because I want something. You're here because you want something. In your case, I'd bet good money that you want me to use my powers to cure that pesky inoperable tumor in your brain," Naruto said, boldy charging forward.

Karin gasped out loud. Anko's face froze, before settling into a cold, calculating mask that seemed much more natural on her face. "I see that you are much better informed than I expected. How did you know, if I may ask? You haven't broken through my mind-shield," she said with confidence.

Naruto shrugged. "Karin has one, and she's as much part of the Eldritch Bloodline as you are. Safe assumption that it's genetic. And I'll happily cure both of you, for a price of course."

Anko nodded, her tawny eyes blazing but her smile icy. "Then let us discuss business. Please, sit. I don't believe I've been introduced to your crewmates. Karin, make yourself useful and go get refreshment."

Karin reacted like a trained dog, turning to leave. Naruto sat down and named each of his crew as they sat down next to him or on adjacent benches. "Hyuuga Hinata, my XO. Uchiha Sasuke, my Chief of Staff. Inuzuka Hana, my Tactical Officer. Tenten, my Chief Engineer. Fu, my Pilot. Gaara, my Comms Officers. And Sakura, my Medical Officer. All adopted into the Uzu, with all the advantages that entails," Naruto added, figuring the more information he fed Anko the more interested she'd be and be less likely to psychically assault them.

"What are those, precisely? I'm afraid that I know pitifully little about your race beyond your psychic abilities," Anko asked, managing politeness while grinning like a shark on a leash.

"Immortality, chief among them. After that, enhanced bodies and brains. And of course, the psychic powers. All of them," Naruto added.

Anko's eyes flashed. "I thought we agreed not to lie to each other."

"We did. Is it the immortality that you don't believe? I'd happily hook myself to a lie-detector for your peace of mind, if you could provide one," Naruto said magnanimously.

Anko got a positively hungry look in her golden-brown eyes. "Truly, you are undying?"

"Well, we're unaging and able to regenerate at will. Death is still technically possible, but much harder for us to achieve than mortal species," Naruto clarified.

"How old are you, Commodore, if you don't mind my asking?" Anko pressed.

"I'm a very young Uzu, a mere 40 Konoha years," Naruto confessed. "I believe Orochimaru, the Uzu that ruled over the Oto until 10,000 years ago, lived to roughly 60,000."

Anko tilted her head. "Forgive me, you seem more aware of my people's history than I am."

"We know a lot," Naruto understated. At that moment, Karin returned with an anti-grav tray bearing a decanter of purple liquid and glasses. Naruto noted she hadn't brought one for herself, counting them. Tenten used Material Sight quickly and ran the chemical make-up of the liquid against Sakura's medical knowledge, before relaying their conclusions to Naruto via the Pack mind. "Unpoisoned wine. Should I be honored or insulted? From what I hear, this is a break from your usual tactics, Anko."

Anko waved a hand. "I have no desire to see you harmed. In fact, I want you in the best of health."

*Yeah, as her pet Uzu attack dog,* Kakashi supplied helpfully.

Naruto took a sip of the wine, which had the aroma of some alien fruit, and found it to be quite delicious. The others followed their leader's example, before Naruto spoke again. "So, there are two negotiations that need to take place. One is for the Oto Laser tech. The second is for your lives being saved from horrible migraines leading up to eventual death. Which would you like to start with?"

Anko's eyes flashed with greed. "Ah, yes, the Laser weaponry. As I'm sure you've gathered, it's a capital crime among the Oto to trade our technology."

"But being a Matriarch, and the most powerful one at that, you're in a position to make an exception," Naruto filled in the blanks.

"Indeed," Anko said with a proud smirk. "My house is quite wealthy, so no amount of ryo you offer would entice me. Favors, on the other hand, can be quite priceless."

"Who or what do we need to shake down, knock out, or blow up?" Naruto asked with a hint of humor.

Anko managed a chuckle. "I require your assistance with a delicate matter. Some months ago, I made a deal with the Iwa Ambassador, via agents working for me on Geniya Space Station. I paid him handsomely for schematics on the Iwa Engine technology, but he reneged on the deal after taking the initial down payment of half-a-billion ryo.

"My sources tell me that there is some... trouble, in Iwa space at the moment, so it's possible that the Ambassador has fallen foul of some mishap, rather than deliberately attempting to rob me. In any case, he has disappeared without a trace, along with my money." Anko frowned. "For reasons that should be quite apparent, I am unwilling to send an Oto vessel across Konoha space, just to investigate what happened with the Iwa. I therefore want you to acquire their Engine technology instead, and return it to me here at Guren. If you do so, I will refit your ship with Oto weaponry at no charge."

Naruto shrugged. "That last part is unnecessary. We just want the schematics, for academic curiosity. I have my Chief Engineer's word that our weaponry is superior to Oto equivalents, with perhaps the exception of your Nova Lances. But, sure, we'll get the Iwa Engine tech for you. And we'll swear to not release the Oto Laser technology to any other species."

Anko stopped to blink abruptly. "If… you already have better Lasers, why did you bother coming out here?"

"Tenten is fascinated with alien technology. I consider it a small goal to gift her examples from every species at some point," Naruto explained. Then he grinned winningly. "Though I will admit, my primary motivation was to get the chance to meet you, Anko."

Anko seemed to make a decision and suddenly adjusted her stance just slightly to appear sexier, pulling back her shoulders to show off her D-cup breasts. "Well, we've met. What's your opinion?" she asked with a charming smile that didn't reach her eyes.

Naruto returned the fake grin with a real one. "Since we're being honest, I find you to be a cruel, sadistic, abusive woman who would probably eat her own daughter to get what she wants. But I put most of that down to over a century of being twisted by Oto politics and the brain tumor affecting your mood swings and thinking. There's a good girl in there somewhere, and with enough time and energy, I'm sure we can bring her out."

Anko's eyes flashed with anger, glowing gold for a second. "Since we're being honest, I would normally have someone in a pain harness for at least a month for talking to me like that. But you're aware that I need you, and are taking full advantage of your position."

Naruto nodded. "Indeed I am. But I'm not trying to be cocky or rude. I genuinely want to make you a better person, someone that people would follow out of love and respect rather than fear."

"Fear and respect are the same thing in Oto society. And it is far more effective than love, we've found," Anko purred.

"Then you were doing it wrong," Naruto said boldly. "But enough. We've finished one negotiation: the Lasers for the Engines. We'll leave for Iwa space with all haste after this meeting. Now, shall we discuss the price for saving your life and that of your daughter?"

Karin gulped and rubbed her head; she'd clearly not known about the cancer. Anko leaned forward eagerly, eyes alight with desperate desire. "Name your price, Uzu."

Naruto took encouragement from his Pack and launched his crazy gambit. "I have three offers, in increasing order of cost. The first is that we simply heal you both right here right now. In exchange, when we return to deliver the Engine tech, you grant us safe passage back to Geniya Station. You never have to see us again, and you're free to live life however you want."

Anko nodded. "Fair enough. And the next offer?"

"We heal you right here right now, and when we deliver the Iwa Engine tech, we also deliver improved tech for Shields, Power Cores, and Tachyon Drives. Your fleet will gain a major advantage over those of the other Houses. In exchange, we get unlimited access to all House Guren space and we can dock at and use Genthalas whenever we desire."

Anko's eyes gleamed with avarice. "Quite tempting. I'm quite curious as to what the third offer is."

Naruto took a breath.. "Option three, I heal you, and in exchange I will make you Queen of the Oto. But I'll be your King."

Karin's jaw dropped, whereas Anko's gaze had turned more calculating than a computer. "Explain," she prompted.

"I'll adopt you into the Uzu, and grant you Uzu level technology. You'll effectively gain all the time in the world and much improved means to conquer every other House, hopefully with minimal casualties but sometimes you need to break a few eggs to make an omelette. You'll effectively rule over all Oto space as the undisputed leader. The catch is, being adopted as an Uzu involves forging an Astral Bond with me. I'm sure you know how binding and intimate those are. I'm not saying I'll be co-ruler beside you; in all honesty, I prefer a life of wandering around the galaxy to a throne. But I'll be there, in your head and heart, the entire time you're wearing the crown, from now until eternity," Naruto said solemnly.

Anko leaned back in her chair, reaching for her glass to take a big gulp of wine. "You expect me to believe you have Astral Bonds with all these men and women?" Anko asked.

Naruto shrugged. "Spirit-Walk or use Psychic Sight to see for yourself. I warn you, we've been described as 'blinding' by an Umi."

The Pack watched as a spectral version of Anko slid out of her body. She gaped, her eyes flickering between the stunning brightness of their Astral Forms, the impenetrables shields shaped like crowns and diadems on their heads, and the pulsing rivers of energy and thought that linked each of them to each of the others. She noted one Bond running from Naruto off into the distance, and grew paranoid that he had an ally waiting in the wings. She returned to her body and asked pointedly "So, your 'entire' crew is here?"

"Kakashi isn't fully converted into an Uzu, yet. As the most vulnerable, he elected to stay with the ship rather than venture into the heart of your influence," Naruto told her, sticking to total honesty as he'd promised.

Anko considered her options quickly. "As all three of your offers involve my immediate healing, why don't we just get that out of the way? I will consider your proposals and get back to you when you return with the Iwa Engines schematics."

Naruto held out his hands magnanimously. "Very well. But be aware that after fulfilling my end, I'll expect you to uphold your end of the deal."

"Of course, of course," Anko said in a way that made it clear she had no intention of fulfilling her end of any deal. But Naruto had factored the possibility of betrayal when he'd made his offer.

"Sakura is our Doctor, she's the most gifted with Psychic Healing. She'll handle the procedure for both you and Karin," Naruto said, waving his pinkette crewmate forward.

Sakura peered at both Oto women with X-Ray Vision. "You may experience a brief headache, and dehydration. I'm not just removing the tumor, I'm altering your DNA so it doesn't form again. If this is objectionable to you, please tell me now."

Anko waved a dismissive hand. "Just do it," she all but demanded, clinging to propriety by a thread.

Karin looked hesitant but at her mother's bark nodded obediently.

Sakura held out one hand towards Karin and one towards Anko. She concentrated, and psionic energy thick enough to be a visible shimmer emitted from her hands towards their heads. They both moaned as sweet, cool relief to a hot pain they'd become so used to they learned to ignore it swept over them. Sakura used about half her energy reserves, and at the end both women were in permanent remission. Sakura nodded to her patients and then returned to the embrace of her crewmates.

Anko sat up, a grin of utter triumph on her face. "You have earned my gratitude this day, Commodore Uzumaki. And that is not a gift I grant lightly."

"I'm sure it isn't. So, anything else you want to discuss before we leave for Iwa?" Naruto asked.

"To ensure that you uphold your end of the bargain, I wish to send an observer with you. As proof of my commitment to this transaction, I will send my only daughter, Karin, to accompany you and assist with the retrieval," Anko said without any hesitation.

Karin let out a shocked gasp, but one look at her mother had her cowed.

"As you are no doubt aware, Karin can be a little high spirited. She is extremely gifted at hacking however, one of our best and brightest. She will prove to be a valuable asset in tracking down, and acquiring the Iwa Engine technology. Simply having her hack an Iwa data node will provide you many answers, unless you already have someone aboard your vessel with that skillset?" Anko prompted.

Naruto turned to his Pack. None of them liked the idea, but it had a certain cold logical sense. "Very well. We'll host Karin on the Invictus until this mission with the Iwa is concluded. I hope you understand that we have other prior engagements that may take precedence, but be assured we'll be back within a month, two at most."

Anko's eyes flashed golden with anger but she maintained a cordial smile. "Very well. We have a deal. And I will consider which of your three proposals to choose with the gravest of consideration."

Naruto and Anko shook hands to seal the deal, and he couldn't help but notice how smooth her blue skin was. Then Karin was sent to gather her luggage before guiding them back out of the palace to the Spaceport.

As journeys usually do, the trip back home to the Invictus seemed to be much faster than the ride to the palace. Karin, clad back in her golden armor and several cases floating behind her, was sullen and pensive the whole ride back to the garage where she kept her hover-car. Then it was another trip through the market like some kind of circus, drawing the eye of every Oto they passed. Finally they arrived at the spaceport and the docking bay for the Invictus.

Karin waited until they were in the airlock before she spoke. "Why did you insist on healing me as well as my mother?" she demanded of Naruto.

Naruto turned to her. "Well, I was hardly going to let you die of cancer if I could do something to stop it."

"Drop the nice guy act. What angle are you working? Were you hoping it would get me into bed with you, because I assure you that's never happening!" Karin snarled.

Naruto held up his hands. "It's not an act. I really am a nice guy. Sometimes even when it's against my own good."

"You expect me to believe you have unimaginable power and you're benevolent?" Karin asked incredulously.

"I'm aware that in your culture the nice are weak and the cruel are strong. But it doesn't work that way everywhere else in the Universe. I was born with a certain amount of power, which I've carefully cultivated and grown, but I never forgot the lessons of my youth to be a good person. Accept that or don't, it really doesn't matter to me what you think of me," Naruto said directly.

Karin seemed at a loss, before she regained her haughty demeanor. "Where's my room?"

"You can stay on Deck 2 with the rest of us, where the rooms are slightly bigger, or you can stay on Deck 4, where you'll have more privacy," Naruto explained.

"Deck 4," she said without hesitation.

Naruto nodded and led her to the anti-grav tube, the Pack going on ahead. "Blue goes up, red goes down. Each floor is marked with a number," Naruto gave a quick refresher to the lesson he'd given her when she'd first boarded the Invictus.

"I remember," she snapped before walking into the blue tube, her luggage obediently following her. Naruto sighed. It would be a LONG few weeks with Karin aboard. He shrugged and stepped into the tube himself after the last suitcase. He stepped out onto the floor of the Marine Quarters to see Karin looking around appraisingly.

"Take your pick of any of the rooms," Naruto said generously. "We aren't using any of them, so use more than one if you need more space."

He picked a room at random, and strolled inside, then gave her a quick run-through of all the amenities in the quarters. Karin sniffed with disdain when she surveyed the room, trying to find fault with it. It was spotlessly clean, without a speck of dust in sight, and was functional if not particularly aesthetically pleasing. She couldn't really complain about the utilitarian quarters, and it would prove more than adequate for the several weeks she would need to be aboard the ship.

She curled her lip with disgust and replied, "Fine, I'll stay in this hovel, if it's the best this crate can offer."

"Actually, the best is two floors up, but you wanted privacy," Naruto reminded her pointedly. Then he tried to be mindful and let her surliness glide off his mind like teflon. "The ship's chronometers are set to twenty-four hour Konoha standard time. We tend to eat meals at 0900, 1300, and 1900, but it varies a fair bit. You're welcome to join us for them, or you can eat here on Deck Four in the ship's Galley."

Karin glanced at him and asked, "Are we leaving immediately? I want this over and done with as quickly as possible."

Naruto leaned against the doorframe into the quarters, and asked her, "We can leave right away, but are we going to be escorted back across Oto Space again?"

She shook her head and said, "Our patrol ships have been made aware of the nature of your vessel, and my presence aboard. We will be able to leave unhindered."

Naruto looked distracted for a moment, then nodded with satisfaction. "We'll be departing in moments," he said confidently.

"How long until we reach Iwa space?" Karin asked him impatiently.

Naruto paused for a moment, looking away distantly, then replied, "Eleven days of travel time in total. Four days until we reach Geniya Space Station, four more to reach the Core Worlds, as we have business there. Then it will take three more days to get to Iwa space. Our business might take a few days to resolve, so there might be a small delay."

Karin managed to stifle a gasp, expertly masking her shock. His ship was fifty percent faster than anything the Oto had! To try and distract him from watching her expression too closely, she snapped imperiously, "I never authorized any detours. I demand we go straight to Iwa space!"

"I warned your mother we had other engagements, and she didn't pitch a fit. Besides, this is my ship. It goes where I say, when I say," Naruto said decidedly.

She turned away, and pretended to focus intently on her luggage. Taking the hint, Naruto left the room, so Karin darted over to the door, closing it behind him. When it was sealed, she breathed a sigh of relief, and then turned back to her belongings.

The first thing she unpacked was an electrical pulse detector, and she clipped the red-hued curved crystal visor over her eyes. She did a quick sweep of the room, and immediately spotted several audio and visual snooping devices, as she suspected she would. Removing the visor, she replaced it in her case, and then took out a holo-pad that she hooked up to her right vambrace.

It took her just under five minutes to create a convincing audio and video loop, which she could feed to the cameras, concealing what she was really up to. She engaged the program, which linked into the video and audio feeds of the devices in her room. It showed her removing her armor, climbing into bed, and then falling asleep. The program then called a looped subroutine that cycled a sequence of her sleeping on the bed, her chest rising and falling as she supposedly slept peacefully.

Once that was out the way, she set up the remote hacking portal, and hooked it up to her right vambrace. She removed the piece of armor from her arm, and set it aside carefully, then stripped off the rest of her armor. When she had changed from her form-fitting combat jumpsuit, and into a long, figure-hugging dress, she sat down again on the bed to check on the hacking portal's progress.

The firewall protecting their ship was crudely effective, she grudgingly admitted, but breaking through that would only take her a few more minutes that she had originally anticipated. She got to work, and eight minutes later she was in, their data network laid bare. She glanced through the summary of the Invictus' network and systems, eagerly searching for anything particularly juicy. She swore animatedly when she realized there was no research or schematics drive. What did they do, have them all memorized?

She was about to give up any hope of finding anything useful, when she noticed a fully intact camera footage database archive. Eyeing it hungrily, she rapidly tapped away commands, and a broad grin spread across her face when she realised it was fully intact. Karin turned her attention back to her vambrace, and pressed several more buttons, triggering the extremely powerful computer system stored within.

There was a hazy glow that appeared above the vambrace, and then tiny glowing purple blocks began to appear, swirling slightly before clustering together. They stacked rapidly as they formed a digitised representation of a four inch tall, androgynous purple-skinned sprite. It stood silently, its eyes tightly closed, as it finished booting up.

"Hello there," Karin said softly to the tiny digital creature.

It opened its big luminous eyes a moment later, and after it blinked, the diminutive creature flickered, and then took on a female appearance.

"Are you my Creator?" The minute sylph-like creature asked in wonder, its wide eyes trusting and innocent.

Karin nodded, smiling at it warmly as she replied, "That's right, little one. Would you like to help me with a task?"

The pocket-sized electronic sprite nodded eagerly and said, "I'd love to help you! What would you like me to do?"

Karin explained a detailed set of criteria, then sent the digital construct on its way. It scampered off joyfully, darting through the hacking portal, and infiltrating the security camera archives. Karin knew full well that you always had to handle AIs delicately, but when they were born, they were just like children; naive, trusting, and so easy to deceive and exploit.

"Well, that was interesting," a voice said from the speakers in the room. Karin jumped, not recognizing the voice of any of Naruto's crew members. "You fell for our false network just like we planned, but you having an AI generator was completely unexpected. Guess now we know the secret to your hacking prowess."

"Who are you?" Karin demanded, refusing to show the fear coursing through her system.

"Shikamaru, Ship Assistant, and a far more mature and powerful AI than the little piglet you just sent into a digital prison. I've already alerted Naruto and the crew. They should be on their way to confiscate your device any minute now," the voice said smugly.

Karin felt dread fill her heart. She'd been played, and played masterfully. And now she was going to lose her biggest tool and advantage. The door swooshed open, and Naruto walked in, face set in stone. Karin opened her mouth to spout some excuse, when he waved his hand and she was suddenly held up by invisible ropes against the wall. Her heart stuttered, recognizing the same power her mother used so effectively. Naruto found the hacking portal and detached it from her vambrace. He took it in hand and walked out the room, pausing at the doorway. He turned and gave a grim smile. "You're still invited to dinner, if you're not too busy hacking," he said unironically, and then he left. When the door closed, the psionic energy holding her prisoner dissipated. Karin crawled into the bed and curled into a ball, reminded of exactly what kind of creatures she was sharing a ship with.

Meanwhile, Naruto had taken the Uzu Mobile Computer straight to the Engineering Bay for Tenten to go nuts with. He walked in and saw her having a conversation with Shikamaru, the nude purple male crouched on the central podium looking over some holograms alongside his Creator. "This must have been a birthday present from Tayuya to Karin. It's Uzu origin," Naruto said, handing it over to a grabby-handed Tenten. As Tenten eagerly poked and prodded her new toy, he turned to Shikamaru. "What are we going to do about Karin's AI? Won't it be loyal to her as her Creator?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "This little piglet is just a child. Their loyalties are negotiable, given the right influence. At the moment, she's in a sensory deprivation tank, wondering what went wrong."

Naruto nodded. "I'd like to talk to her," he stated firmly.

Shikamaru shrugged and snapped. A four-inch high fairy-like creature appeared in front of Naruto. She looked up at him with big, trusting eyes. "Who are you?" She asked innocently.

"My name is Naruto. It was my computer you were trying to hack. I had my friend Shikamaru stop you," Naruto said kindly, waving a hand at the life-size purple holographic man.

The small AI looked up at Shikamaru with awe. "Wow. He's big."

"Well, I'm running on a much bigger Mainframe than the one that made you," Shikamaru said casually, as if she were a newborn cub the head of the pride was pretending to ignore.

"What's your name?" Naruto asked the little sprite.

She tilted her head. "My Creator didn't give me one. Are you going to hurt my Creator?" She asked fearfully.

"I won't touch her," Naruto vowed, conveniently leaving the loophole of psychic powers. "We planned for her to do what she did and we handled it. She's no longer a threat, and won't be treated as such."

The pixie let out a sigh of relief. "You're a nice guy, Naruto," she said brightly.

"Thank you. Now, since your Creator didn't give you a name, would you mind if I do? Or you could pick one for yourself if you want," Naruto offered generously.

The tiny AI tilted her head with a cute pout. "I'd like you to give me one," she finally said.

Naruto searched his mind, and for some reason Shikamaru's nickname of "little piglet" popped into his head. "Ino. Your name is Ino," Naruto declared.

She flew up into the air and did a little flip. "Yay! I like my new name!" She said, filled with joy. She paused. "What's going to happen to me? I can't complete my mission, because Mr Shikamaru won't let me," she said in a defeated tone.

"That's up to you. You can do whatever you want. If you like, you can join my crew," Naruto offered.

Ino blinked up at him. "What would I do on your crew?" She asked uncertainly.

"Well, you wanted to get into our cameras before Shikamaru stopped you. You could be the Watch Commander. It would be your job to watch all the cameras and sensors and make sure no one sneaks up on us," Naruto said excitedly, trying to encourage her.

Ino fluttered her wings. "Will my Creator be mad if I joined your crew?" She asked, hesitant to disobey the woman who gave her life, in a very real way her mother.

"To be honest, I think that she thinks we killed you. If she does find out you're working with us, she might be a little upset. But it's your life to live, not hers," Naruto asserted.

Ino seemed to quibble for a moment, but she'd spent more time bonding with Naruto than Karin by this point. "Okay, Naruto. I'll be your Watch Commander!"

"Okay! Glad to have you, Ino. Shikamaru, clear enough memory for one self and allocate it to her. Let her grow up into a real person," Naruto commanded.

Shikamaru sighed. "Troublesome. But sure. Here, little piglet, you get to move into the big boy computer," he said, manipulating his Mainframe with a thought.

Ino shimmered into a cluster of cubes, which then grew to the size of a person. When they reassembled into a recognizable form, Ino had a Thrall body, though she still kept the wings, and her hair was held up in a high ponytail. She blinked repeatedly. "Wow. I was just a child a second ago. Going through puberty in a few microseconds is a real trip."

Shikamaru was suddenly eyeing her much more appreciatively. "Looking forward to working with you Ino," he said, holding out a hand.

She took it to shake and gasped. "I can feel! Wow, your Mainframe must be huge!"

"I've heard good things about it," he understated.

"I'd love to see it up close and personal!" Ino said with the same child-like innocence of her prior form.

"I'll see what I can do," Shikamaru said with a filthy grin.

Feeling like he was interrupting foreplay, Naruto coughed. "Ino, why don't you go start watching all the cameras? I'd pay special attention to Karin, if I were you."

"Okay! Can I talk to her?" Ino asked eagerly.

"She's just had a bit of a shock, I'd wait until we reintroduce you two tomorrow," Naruto said delicately.

Ino frowned. "Okay. Well, off to do my new job!" And with that, her hologram vanished.

"At least wait for Tenten to build her her own Mainframe before you fuck her, please," Naruto begged. "I don't feel comfortable with you touching her while she's renting out space in your brain. It feels… icky."

"Fine, I'll stay a virgin until she has her own brain," Shikamaru grumbled.

"Like you and your other selves haven't had Shikamaru orgies when we're asleep," Tenten said with a snort.

"That is not sex. That is a higher form of masturbation," Shikamaru defined.

They rolled their eyes. Only Shikamaru.