Nagisa arrives just past six. He pulls into the Isogais' driveway, flicks off his music, and shoots them a text letting them know he's arrived. Noting their idyllic little flower garden and what appears to be a swing out back as he marches up the doorstep, he smiles.

He doesn't need to knock twice. Isogai's already waiting by the door for him, baby in arms. Though… on second observation, she's not such a baby anymore. Clinging tight to his shoulders and staring at Nagisa with grumpy eyes, little Naoko must have doubled in size since he saw her last.

Isogai takes a step back, beckoning Nagisa in with his free arm. "Hey!" he says. "Welcome. Come right in. Hiroto and Megu are in just the other room."

Nagisa nods, carefully removing his shoes, before taking a step inside. Naoko lets out a low babble.

"That's uncle Nagisa," Isogai says, tone soft and patient. "Do you remember uncle Nagisa? He came to visit you when you were just born."

Naoko eyes Nagisa suspiciously, but doesn't say much more.

"Now there's no need to be rude," Isogai reminds her, gently rocking her back and forth. "Say hi to him for me, okay? Pretty please?"

Naoko looks up at Nagisa with big, wide eyes, and opens her mouth to speak… before promptly tugging on Isogai's collar and grumbling, "dada."

"Okay, okay," Nagisa says with a laugh, placing his coat on the rack. "I see how it is. Fine." He smiles, taking a step closer to her. "Auntie Kayano did tell me to pass on my regards, though. Are you more interested in hearing hello from her?"

Naoko seems to mull that over for a second, before absentmindedly sticking her tongue out.

"I'll take that as a yes," Nagisa says. He doesn't think he's ever met a baby who didn't like Kayano. Except maybe Kiyoshi, but even he'd warmed up to her in time.

"Well, I wouldn't want to keep the others waiting too long," Isogai says. "C'mon!" And with another warm smile, he's off. Nagisa follows after, keeping with his gentle pace.

He can't help but note just how nice their place is. It's a tad small, but he supposes you don't need a lot of room with a family of three people. Picture frames decorate each wall, and each desk is neatly kept. The orange light of sunset filters in through the windows.

It's… homely. That's the word. Modest, but homely.

Maehara gives him a wave as he steps into the kitchen.

"Ayyy! Nagisa. 'Bout time you showed up," he says.

Nagisa gives an embarrassed laugh. "Yeah, sorry about that," he says, scratching at the back of his neck. "It's a long drive."

"Don't even worry about it," Maehara reassures. "I get it. We're a little out of the way. Besides, Yuma and I got some much needed catching up with Kataoka-"

"Did you know she's got a dog now?" Isogai excitedly pipes up.

"That's what you're fixated on?" Maehara asks with a snicker. "She's got a dog, sure. But more importantly: she's got a ladyyy!"

"I- ah- I honestly thought everyone already knew…" Isogai admits, face flushing pink. "Do they not?"

"I can speak for myself, you know, boys," Megu reminds them, a snideness to her voice.

"S-sorry ma'am!" they all seem to say at once. Nagisa's not entirely sure what he's apologizing for- he'd hardly spoke- but he hears her firm tone and it comes to him on instinct.

Megu laughs, rolling her eyes. "Yes, I've 'got a lady,'" she says. "We're keeping it on the down-low for a little bit, but we actually just got together a month or two ago. Hanako's hers. Not mine."

"The dog?"

"Yeah. I've just been keeping her at my place for a bit because she's been picking fights with her cat. I don't mind too much. It's nice to have a little company. And don't tell anyone this... but I've been letting her swim in the pool."

Maehara blinks. "...The dog, or your girlfriend?"

"Why would I-? Need to-?" Megu sputters. " Why would I need you to keep it a secret that I'm letting my girlfriend swim in my pool!?"

"I don't know!" Maehara says, covering his head with his hands. "You just said you're keeping it on the down-low!"

"Shhhh," Isogai reminds everyone. "You're going to freak out Naoko."

Now that shuts up everyone in an instant. (Bar Nagisa, who's literally just been standing here.)

"Yes, I'm letting the dog swim in the pool. I know that's disgusting- probably the most unladylike gesture I can perform, but she just looks at me with those big brown eyes when she sees me practicing and I have to relent. I don't want my girlfriend's dog to hate me!"

"Can your girlfriend swim?" Maehara asks.

"No. But she can pick me up like a sack of potatoe-"

"We're getting off track here," Nagisa murmurs.

"Oh- yeah," Maehara says. "Where were we?"

"Class reunion," Isogai reminds them. "We were meeting up to discuss the class reunion."

"Ah- yeah," Maehara replies. "You should probably get to that. Want me to take Naoko off your hands for a minute so you three can get to work?"

"Oh, no… you don't gotta if you don't want to," Isogai says, cradling her in his arms. "I'm sure she won't cause much of an interruption."

"Okay. Let me rephrase that," Maehara says. "I'm not good at this party planning stuff anymore because most of us are 'too old' and 'too married' for spin the bottle or Strip Twister. So how about you three put your heads together and hand the baby over to me so I can have someone to spend time with while you plan a rational adult meet up."

Isogai laughs, shaking his head. "Fair point," he says. "You can watch her. I'd hate to leave you lonely." He smiles. "Though, for the record: I think your ideas are wonderful."

"Even the inappropriate ones?" Maehara asks, his voice an exaggerated falsetto.

"Even the inappropriate ones," Isogai confirms, leaning over to give him a kiss, before handing off the baby. "Try not to have too much fun without us, okay? And if she starts crying, her teddy's in her room."

"Sir yes sir!" Maehara replies, taking a step back, and giving Naoko's hair a gentle ruffle before making his way from the kitchen.

There's a gentle babbling from the other room as Naoko murmurs. But Maehara hushes her, promising daddy will be unbusy soon. How about until then, she hangs out with him, okay? He's pretty fun, isn't he? They can keep chipping away at that coloring book they were working on. Oooh! Ooooh! Or would she rather play with blocks?

...She quiets down in no time.

Nagisa stares in amazement. It's crazy to think that Maehara of all people makes such a good father. It's not that he ever doubted him… Maehara's his friend, after all. But he had been a debauchery, immature tramp during his youth. He'd once heard the man say it was his goal to have sex with every girl in the school, but in, like 'a respectful, feminist way.' When had he become such a mature person?

It amazes him. Just how much they've all grown. He wishes he was even close to being that good with kids!

Isogai stares at the doorway for just one moment, a goofy, lovestruck smile on his face.

"...I gotta be the luckiest guy on earth," he says, pulling out a chair and sitting down. "Dunno what I'd do without him." It takes him a moment, but eventually he does manage to snap out of his trance. "Feel free to sit down. Make yourself comfortable. And I apologize for the mess."

Nagisa glances around in search of the alleged mess... but there's none as far as the eye can see. Not a plate in the sink or a hair out of place. Unless Isogai's idea of mess is simply having a high chair in the room, he's being modest as always.

"Don't sweat it," he says, taking a seat across from Isogai. Megu plops down next to him, one leg crossed over the other.

"And just let me know if you two need anything. Snacks… a pillow… I can adjust the temperature if you'd like."

He's talking about it like they're going to be here for the next week, not the next hour! G… gah… so friendly… so… good of a host. It's apparent Isogai is as much of an ikeman as ever.

"A… ah, no. I think I'm fine," Nagisa admits. "Thank you, though. I appreciate it."

Isogai gives a bright smile!

Megu whips out her phone. "I can jot down notes on any ideas we have," she says. "So you two don't need to worry about that. What are we thinking about for this year?"

Nagisa mulls it over. Huh… he's dedicated a lot of thought to that, hasn't he? But they're running out of new things they can try. They've already done laser tag, and the pool party is gonna have to be a no go after the time Yoshida almost split his head open on a rock. Potluck, maybe! Or they could always retry the 'commemorative baseball game' idea...

"Well, this may sound a little boring…" Isogai says with a laugh. "But… I was thinking something pretty simple for this year. I know we've had some big events in the past… but sometimes it's good to just spend time together, you know?"

Megu gives a firm nod. "I was thinking the same, actually. Just last year we had the fifteenth anniversary. And as fun as it was going all out… I'm not sure I can deal with Karma attempting to break Terasaka's nose over a game of Just Dance ever again."

"Hey-" Nagisa interjects. "He wasn't trying to break it, for the record. Just… give him a bloody nose."

"I'm not sure I can deal with your delinquent husband engaging in acts of senseless violence ever again. Is that better?"

"...Much," Nagisa admits with a laugh. "Though I'm not sure anything, even the guise of a casual get together will be able to keep him from throwing a punch if the going really gets tough."

"If 'losing a game of Just Dance 2 to Boney M.'s Rasputin' is that man's idea of a tough time, then I do have to pass on my sincerest apologies to you and your family."

"Thanks," Nagisa says. "We appreciate your condolences."

"Let's not shittalk Karma!" Isogai pipes up. "So we all agree something smaller is for the best?"

"I think so," Megu admits, glancing his way. "Nagisa?"

On one hand… Nagisa's slightly opposed. He hates to let this thing they only get once a year go to waste. But on the other… there's no such thing as a bad time as long as he's around his friends. And he promised he'd be taking better care of himself lately. Ashamed as he is to say it, he can't go planning the next Coachella.

"Sounds good to me," he says. "Something small. Maybe we can just plan a sleep in?"

Isogai claps his hands together and softly gasps. "Oh! Like a slumber party!?"

"Yeah. Exactly," Nagisa says. "Something a little more interesting than a simple get together, but nothing that would require too much planning. We could just set up an event or two... maybe play a round of truth or dare, and focus on catching up with each other. What do you think?"

"I'm certainly not opposed," Megu says. "Sounds… casual. Though I do worry about us managing to get any sleep. As much as I'd love to stay up all night with you, I'm a 31-year-old woman. I typically pass out at 9 PM. What do I do when it's 2 AM and we all just want to go to bed, but two or three certain drunk toddlers won't shut up?"

"Drunk toddlers?" Isogai asks.

"I'm not naming any names."

"If you're worried about Karma…" Nagisa says, aptly guessing that his husband is one of the aforementioned drunk toddlers. "He typically goes to bed at, like, eight. You've got nothing to worry about. As for the others… I suppose we could always kick them outside."

"In -12 degrees celsius!?" Isogai sputters. "Are you out of your mind!? They'll freeze to death out there! What? Just sleeping on the concrete-"

"I'm joki-"

"Like that weather could possibly kill Nakamura," Megu interjects.

...Okay... so that's another drunk toddler namedropped.

"I'm joking," Nagisa reiterates. "I trust our class enough to be considerate of each other. And if they're not…" He pauses, mischievously rubbing his chin. "Well, I'm sure we can find a way to make them shut up. We're an innovative bunch. I must have some duct tape or superglue stashed away somewhere in my classroom. We just have to be careful not to cover the noses."

"...Brutal," Isogai comments.

"But a necessary evil, perhaps," Megu argues.

"Again:" Nagisa says. "I'm sure it won't come to that... probably."

(...Something tells him Karma would never forgive him if he tied him, Nakamura, and like half of the Terasaka gang up at 2 in the morning and left them to rot in the spare classroom until they could go to bed like the rest of society.)

Staunchly opposed to dwelling on the concept a moment more, Isogai tries his best to change the topic. "Okay. So what is it we'd need to prepare? I can bring snacks, if everybody'd like. Or would we all be eating dinner in the classroom?"

"Oh jeez..." Nagisa says. "I doubt it. I'd hate to ask that of Hara on such a short notice. I think snacks will work. Everyone can eat dinner with their families before we meet up."

"What time do you think would be good?" Megu asks.

"Eight, maybe?" Nagisa poses. "Though on second thought, maybe that's way too late."

"Yeah. It's pretty pitch black out by then," Isogai says. "Not sure I wanna make that drive in the dark..."

"I just wanna make sure I give everyone time to show up," Nagisa admits. "I know some of them live pretty far away. Speaking of - have we gotten confirmation from everyone?"

"Yeah. Think so," Isogai replies. "Nakamura's already told me she's flying over from England, and Sugino doesn't have any games scheduled until late March."

"What about Fuwa?" Megu asks. "Last I heard she was swamped with work."

"Fuwa? Missing?" Nagisa asks. "No way. She's got way too many cryptic comments to share. Knowing her, if she's really busy, she'll just show up work and all... pen and paper in hand."

"Maybe she can make an anthology about the reunion!" Isogai says.

"That would be nice," Nagisa admits with a smile. "Though last I checked she was still working on the manga about the demon detective."

"Ohh, yeahhh," Isogai says, scratching at the back of his neck. "Jeez… I need to catch up. I feel so bad."

"What about Karasuma and Bi- … er… Jelavic-sensei?" Megu asks. "Have we heard anything from them?"

"Not yet," Nagisa says. They've shown up a few years in the past, but things have been tumultuous with their schedule in between raising their son and fighting overseas. "Jelavic-sensei should be back from her mission in March, but I don't know if Karasuma-sensei has anything planned."

"I'll have to ask," Megu says. "...Though we've gotten quite off track. We still need to decide on a time."

"Ah- shit," Nagisa says. "Sorry. I didn't mean to derail the conversation."

"It's fine," Megu reassures. "Perhaps… seven fifteen? Not too early, but not too terribly late, either. Of course, I'm sure some people will be showing up a little bit earlier. And if anyone falls a bit behind, that's not an issue, either."

"That's good for me!" Nagisa says.

"Same here," Isogai agrees. "Though - uh… I do still have one question?"

"Mmm?"

"Are we meeting at seven-fifteen on the thirteenth, or on the twelfth? I mean - thirteen sounds like the obvious answer, but if we're meeting up then… well, most of the reunion won't even be on the right day."

"Oh shit, you're right," Nagisa says. "Uh… either works for me, really."

"I believe the twelfth will suffice," Megu says. "While it's not worth worrying over too much, there is something almost sweet in the fact that when we first celebrated Korosensei's birthday it was on the eve between the twelfth and the thirteenth as well."

Isogai's mouth widens into a little 'o' as he nods. "I'll mark my calendar, then!"

"That means we have a time, a date, a place and a plan," Nagisa says. "Almost a full attendance list, too. What else do we need?"

"I think we're just about done," Megu admits.

"Isogai, you said you're bringing snacks?"

"Mmmhm!" Isogai proudly replies. "Though, of course - if someone else wants to bring- like- cookies they're always welcome."

"I can bring blankets," Nagisa says. "Though if anyone wants a sleeping bag they're probably gonna have to bring their own."

"Pillows, too," Megu adds on.

"Right. We should probably make a list to send everyone."

"Already on it," Megu says, typing away at her phone.

"...We're good, then!" Nagisa says. "At least… I think so. Any other concerns?"

"Don't think so," Isogai replies.

"Awesome."

And with that, Nagisa stands. Isogai follows soon after, stretching and giving a yawn as Megu finishes up her text.

"Good work, everyone," she says, pocketing her phone and standing to give Nagisa a firm pat on the back. "That didn't take nearly as long as I thought it would."

"Ha… yeah," Isogai admits. "Guess it makes sense. This time we didn't have to plan out an entire complicated assassination tourney and frat party. That lightens the load somewhat."

Megu rolls her eyes. "I swear to god… never again. I had to bust my ass off last year."

"You say that now…" Nagisa snickers. "But who knows what we're gonna do for the 30th anniversary. For all we care, it could be ten times worse."

Megu rubs her temples. "Don't say that," she begs. "By that point we'll be going on fifty. I don't think I'll be able to handle Yada full-body tackling me and pressing a knife to my throat again at that age."

"...Fair point," Nagisa admits with a laugh. "And I presume that means Just Dance is off the table, too?"

"Oh, Just Dance is already off the table long before we're 45. That is the one thing I'm putting my foot down on after last year."

Isogai takes a step back from his chair, carefully pushing it in. "...Do you really think we'll all still be meeting up in fifteen years?" he asks curiously.

"Of course," Nagisa replies pretty much instantly. He hates to admit it, but there's this sort of defensiveness to his tone. "...Why wouldn't we?"

Isogai must catch it, because his shoulders sink. "I mean - don't get me wrong, I'd really like to, but… we are all getting older. Having families and stuff. Do you think we'll have the time?"

Megu shrugs. "I don't know if that makes much of a difference, quite frankly," she admits. "I mean… half of us are already pretty much settled down, and we're still meeting up this year. You've got a baby girl at home… Sugaya just got engaged… The Chibas have kids in elementary school. I can't see anything getting much more complicated than all that."

"If anything," Nagisa says. "I somehow feel like things will get less complex when we're older."

Isogai smiles. "Well… I'm glad you both think so. That's a reassuring thought. I really care about you guys, you know."

"And we care about you too," Nagisa replies. "You're not getting rid of us that easily. I dunno about everyone else, but… personally? I'm not gonna stop celebrating this day with you all until the day I die myself."

"Well, then," Megu says. "It seems we've got a long list of parties still to plan, then. Til' death do us part."

Isogai raises a fist. "To celebrate our Sensei's life, and our own."

Nagisa can't help but smile a bit at his comment. At least… not until it makes him just a little bit sad. As much as the 13th is a day of celebration for them, it's a sad day, too. It's the anniversary of possibly the most painful thing they've ever experienced. Everyone is bound to carry a little bit of individual baggage in regards to it... and he can hear it in their voices… in the way Megu shifts just slightly at sensei's name.

He wishes he could tell them… about everything that's happened over the past year. With his class… with Makoto. It wouldn't fix everything... he still feels like there's a gaping hole in his chest more often than not... but he thinks he is doing better... and he thinks he has getting to see that reassuring smile again to thank for a lot of that.

It's just… how? To breach the topic? It had been so hard confiding in Kayano, Karma, and Gakushuu… and they're the people he knows best. He doesn't know exactly how to break the news to everyone in the E-Class… and if he screws it up… well… he's scared of severing this unbreakable bond they have.

He opens his mouth to speak - say something about the coolest boy in his class this year, but Megu beats him to it.

"You know…" she says. "It was nice. To plan something simple this year. As fun as big flashy parties are, I think these little moments will always be the things we remember the most."

"...Yeah," Nagisa agrees, and he decides Makoto can wait. He is big. He is flashy. He's world-changing and an emotional rollercoaster to even look at. Nagisa's not ready to let this thing the twenty-eight of them have go… not yet. He's sure the secret will come out when the time is right.

For now… he'd like to let himself have this.

"Let's not get our hopes up for too simple, though," Isogai reminds them. "We can plan and plan all we like, but there's no accounting for what the others are going to bring to the table. Don't tell anyone I said this, but last I heard Takebayashi and Okuda were planning some sort of surprise…"

"Good lord," Megu says, breathing out through her nose. "Tell Takeyabashi that if he causes a riot, I, personally will beat his ass."

"Not Okuda's?" Nagisa asks.

"Nagisa… I'd sooner tear down the stars and set fire to the heavens than lay a hand on Okuda. She is maybe the sweetest person I know."

"Which is why I'd try not to get too worried about it," Isogai replies. "Whatever it is… if Okuda's involved, it can't possibly be bad. I'm sure they just, like, found the cure for cancer or whatever."

"Wouldn't that be a miracle?"

Making a mental note to grill Takebayashi about that later, Nagisa takes a step towards the living room. Not before a voice can shout from within, however.

"You all finally done in there?" Maehara asks. "Naoko's getting rowdy!"

Isogai laughs. "Yeah! We're just about done, honey!" he shouts, cupping his hand around his mouth. "Be right in!"

With that, he turns to Megu and Nagisa. "Well, you two ready to regroup?" he asks.

"Of course," Megu says. Nagisa nods, and with that, they're on their way.

Maehara and Naoko are seated on the ground by the living room table. Naoko sits on Maehara's lap, scribbling away in a coloring book. Isogai marches over towards them, plopping down and asking "So where's the restlessness here? Is she actually being rowdy, or did someone just miss his husband?"

Maehara rolls his eyes. "As much as I appreciate the opportunity to let things get hot and heated in front of our friends, she keeps trying to eat crayons, so probably the former."

"A-ah!" Isogai sputters, gently lowering a crayon clenched fist that seems to have been sneaking towards her mouth. "You can't do that, sweetie… it'll make you really sick. No. No."

"Maybe she wants something to chew on," Maehara says. "Can you grab her teething ring? I would have, but I didn't wanna leave her alone, and I'd have hated to interrupt her artistic process."

"Of course," Isogai says. "It's right in there. I was actually just looking at it. Give me a sec."

He retreats into the kitchen, a skip in his step all the while.

Megu crouches by the table, leaning down to look at Naoko's latest work. Nagisa sends a glance over as well, noting that it appears to be Sailor Moon: bright red, and of course: colored all outside the lines.

"Did you do that yourself?" she asks, her voice slipping into babytalk.

Naoko takes a moment to mull it over, before nodding. Something tells Nagisa she didn't do the linework in a licensed coloring book, but considering she's like two and also probably didn't understand a word Megu said in the first place he'll let it slide.

"Awesome work!" he comments. "Maybe one day you'll grow up to be an artist!"

As if she's finally warmed up to the ever-detestable Nagisa some, Naoko claps her chubby palms together and giggles.

Nagisa can't help but smile. A dorky, enamored look on his face, he tells her that whatever it is she does, he's sure it'll be awesome. Maehara gently ruffles her hair, and as Isogai returns to the room, teething toy in hand, Nagisa finally reaches for his coat.

"I should probably get going," he admits. "I'd hate to intrude on your family time. It was nice to see how well you three are doing, though."

"Oh, no! You don't need to go," Isogai insists. "You're not intruding at all. If you want to stay for a few moments… catch up… you're more than welcome!"

"Yeah! Don't go bailing on us that quickly," Maehara chimes in. "The night's young! You guys got finished early! Let's hang! Don't you have a baby you want to spoil rotten? Don't you have a particularly handsome and charming friend you'd like to catch up with?"

"...Aw!" Isogai says, his face flushing red. "Thank you!"

"Oh," Maehara says. "I was actually talking about myse-" he pauses. "...No. You're right. That one's actually more aptly suited for you. My bad." He laughs, cupping his mouth and stage-shouting. "Hey! Nagisa! Get over here! You've got a prince charming to hang out with!"

Nagisa glances at his watch, noting that it's only 6:45. "Fine," he says, placing his coat back on the rack. "But I can't stay for more than an hour. I promised my family I'd be back by nine."

"Of course," Isogai says. "No worries. It is a long drive. We're just happy to have you over, even for a little bit!"

He spends the next little while fawning over Naoko and catching up with his friends… hearing her full vocabulary of five words and learning all about Megu's new girlfriend. It's only when Isogai and Megu retreat to Naoko's room for a full-scale tour of her bedroom, however, that Maehara hops to his feet and glances down at Nagisa.

"Hey," he says. "You're looking a little pale. Wanna step outside for a moment? Grab a drink? I can give you a tour of the garden. Otherwise something tells me you're gonna be bored out of your mind. Those two could be a while. Prince Charming loves to gush."

"Uh… sure," Nagisa says. "Nothing alcoholic, though. I do need to dri-"

"Oh, oh- of course," Maehara interrupts. "Shit. Sorry. I worded that poorly. Believe it or not, we actually don't have a single alcoholic drink in the house right now. Baby girl and all."

Nagisa stands. "That's fair," he says, walking over to the side door and slipping on his coat. "You two were never really heavy drinkers, anyways."

"Mmm… nah," Maehara says. "Yuma doesn't like it. I get too naughty." He pauses. "Er- sorry… still in babytalk mode. Horny. I get too horny."

Nagisa rolls his eyes. "You're always horny. Don't blame that on the beer."

"Hey!" Maehara defensively hisses, holding up his hands. "His words! Not mine!"

"Whatever you say, dude," Nagisa replies, stepping outside.

Maehara crouches down near a cooler they've got sitting on their porch. He digs through the ice for a moment before asking "Root Beer or Gatorade?"

"...You guys don't even have water?"

"We've got what we've got. Root Beer, Gatorade, or bust."

"Uh… Gatorade," Nagisa says, because Root Beer is the worst and literally everyone he's ever met hates it. "...I guess. Red one, please."

Maehara smirks, dramatically handing over a bright red Gatorade. "One Fruit Punch coming up!"

Nagisa stares in befuddlement at the bottle. You know… usually when old bros have these sentimental conversations at each other's homes, they, like… crack beers. Not… drink Gatorade. Oh - also… usually it's summertime. Not late winter. But he supposes their little posse has never exactly been ordinary. They're the E-Class, for christ's sake! If they did anything the way he expected them to, he's pretty sure he'd think he was dreaming.

Maehara cracks a root beer for himself, smiling in satisfaction at the fizzle. With that, he takes a swig, stands, and leans over on the railing.

"It's a nice place you've got here," Nagisa admits. "It's so… cozy. And I mean that in the best way."

"I know, right!?" Maehara asks, grinning proudly. "We've mostly got Yuma to thank for that. I mean… it was nice when we bought it, but he did all of the fixing up to get it to this point. Recarpeted the living room… built the swingset… even baby-proofed the house! I mean - I helped a bit, of course, but I'm more of a trophy husband."

"Don't say those things," Nagisa replies. "I'm sure you do more around the house than you're giving yourself credit for." He pauses, mulling that over. "Did you two actually have to go all out baby proofing?"

"Oh yeahh," Maehara says. "Like - weeks. I'm not sure if you know this, but babies are suicidal freaks. Before we even picked her up we had to triple check everything just to make sure it was safe, lest she stick her finger into an electrical outlet. We've got everything baby proofed. The cabinets… the beds…- seems like the crayons need to be, apparently. It's a new discovery every day."

Nagisa laughs. "Sounds exhausting. You doing good?"

"Good as I can," Maehara replies. "It's still a constant battle, but it's worth it. I see her smile, and my heart just melts. It's… it's crazy to think I have this thing in my life. That I've settled down with this… wonderful family."

"...Ha. Yeah. Look how far the Casanova's fallen. Next thing we know we'll catch you with one of those baby carriers strapped to your chest."

"You will!" Maehara shouts. "You will! Mark my goddamn word! I'll wear one baby carrier! I'll wear two! I'll get a dad bod! I listen to Jimmy Buffet now, for fuck's sake! Just watch me." He holds a finger up accusingly, before leaning over onto the railing with a snicker. "...I mean it, though. It's not even just that: that I was such a playboy back in the day. It's just that... I never envisioned a future for myself where I was this happy. That anyone possibly could be this happy. But then… shit, man. Here I am."

Nagisa smiles, taking a sip of his insanely out of place Gatorade. "...Yeah. I get what you're saying," he says. "It makes me happy… that we've all come so far."

"I think that's gotta be my favorite part of those little reunions you three put together. None of the… shenanigans... as fun as daring Okajima to strip naked and battle Takebayashi was-"

"I still can't believe they did that."

"I can. You'd get it if you were 'a horny bitch,' too." Maehara pauses, shaking his head. "But it's not… it's not any of that. It's just seeing how everyone's doing. I mean… of course we keep up in the group chat, but there is nothing, and I mean nothing like stepping up there in front of your best friends in the world, and letting them know that your life is finally on the right track, mostly 'cause you got the chance to know each other."

He grins for one long moment, looking decidedly proud of himself. Finally, he shakes his head, straightening himself up some. "I'm getting off-topic, though. Can't go getting all soft and sentimental. Where was I?"

"Naoko," Nagisa says with a snide smile. "Something about how you haven't slept in a week, but she makes every exhausting moment worth it?"

"Psssh," Maehara says. "It's not that bad. Not that you could make a comment, even if it were, Workaholic-san."

Nagisa wilts. "Touche," he says. "Go on."

Needless to say, he'd told the E-Class about his incident. He'd briefly wondered if he even should, but inevitably he came to the conclusion that it was for the best he did. He loves them… he knows they'll support him through whatever it is he's going through. And besides, if anything really did happen to him, he'd want them to know why.

"Things are actually a lot easier lately, if you ask me," Maehara admits. "I mean... don't get me wrong, she's still a constant commitment, but she cries a lot less lately, at least." He snorts. "When we first got her that shit was nonstop. I swear we didn't sleep through the night for a solid year."

"Oh, trust me: I remember," Nagisa says. "You two spammed the group chat about it. Woke us all up at damn 3 AM as well."

"What else were we supposed to do!? We had to cry for help from someone!" Maehara wails. "Some days she'd be fed, changed, well-rested, and free of everything else our baby websites told us could possibly be the fucking problem! We had to come to you guys for suggestions, if not emotional support!"

"You say that," Nagisa replies, taking a sip of Gatorade so smugly Maehara might just damn well knock his teeth out. "But I'll have you know the Chibas never once flooded our phone like that, and they have three ."

"The Chibas are aliens!" Maehara refutes, tossing his hands in the air. "They never speak! I'd be surprised if their offspring cried at all! What need would they have for it, anyways, when they may as well all communicate telepathically!?"

Okay, so everyone has thought at least once that Chiba and Hayami's children remind them a little bit of those kids from The Shining, but there's no need to say it out loud…

"Excuses, excuses."

Maehara rolls his eyes. "I'll stand by it, though: that we've gotten to the easy part. Everyone goes on and on about the terrible twos, but I will take everything, and I mean anything over the constant crying."

"Even your daughter trying to eat crayons?"

"Even my daughter trying to eat crayons. That's child's play, dude. We're in the easy street... at least for now."

Nagisa wonders if there is an easy part. With kids or with life. There are always new things to face… new problems to adapt to. From the loud, exhausting stage that's infancy, to the self-loathing spiral that's teenagerhood, and the quiet sadness that's growing up. The whole thing's a learning process. And he supposes while that's a little scary, that's part of what makes it so fun, too.

"I'm happy for you," he says. "You're doing an awesome job." He pauses. "Like… I've jested, but I mean that! I see the way you guys interact with her, and I'm just... amazed. You're like naturals!"

Maehara snorts. "I dunno about that, but thanks. We're trying our best. It's hard work... like I said, but..." He falls silent, glancing back over his shoulder and into the house through the window. Somewhere further inside Naoko lets out a giggle. "...Like I said: all worth it."

Nagisa nods, taking a sip of his Gatorade. Maehara's eying him carefully.

"You know," he says. "I'm sort of surprised we beat you to it."

Nagisa just about spits out his damn drink.

He leans over the railing and coughs his lungs out, choking desperately for breath. Maehara slaps a panicked hand against his back, profusely apologizing as he shouts "SHIT! There were probably better ways to word th- I'm not talking about your sex life-! We didn't even make that! I'm just surprised we beat you to- the kids! Adopting a kid!"

"I didn't think you were talking about my sex life!" Nagisa wheezes, hacking and wheezing. "We don't all think like y-" Okay. No. That's mean. Use your kind words. "You just- gah! You caught me by surprise!"

"That's- that's incredibly... that's fair-" Maehara sputters. "I probably shouldn't have even made a comment - that was crossing a line- I…-" He drifts off. "Do you need… like… the Heimlich maneuver?"

"No. No," Nagisa insists. "I'm fine. Just… give me a second."

A few well-timed coughs and another minute of keeling over on Maehara's railing later and he's feeling good as new. God damn it. He should have known better than to let himself drink when listening to anything coming out of that dude's mouth.

"Yeah. I'm sorry," Maehara says. "That was intrusive."

"No," Nagisa admits. "It wasn't. I mean- okay - I guess it was. Like. Super intrusive. But I don't… I don't mind it from you guys. You're my friends. And it's… a fair question. I know I seem like the type to have eighty kids by now."

"And you've got none," Maehara says. "Why? If you don't mind me asking, I mean. Not that - not that anyone needs them. Your family is plenty complete the way it is. So if it's just - if it's not an interest, then that's cool, but you always struck me as a little obsessed with them… owning the school and all." He pauses. "Is it one of the others? I mean, I guess that's fair. I wouldn't wanna trust Karma with a child, either, but-"

"Nah," Nagisa says with a sideways smile and another cough. "It's… it's me, mostly."

Gakushuu hadn't exactly been in on the whole kid-having plan, either, but he doesn't feel comfortable disclosing that to Maehara. Besides, he always got the impression that it was his freaking out that really scared Gakushuu out of it. If his husband didn't believe in himself, then what did that mean for him?

"We… uh - actually considered it a few years back. But I backed out before we started really planning anything." Needless to say he's not going to discuss his wife's abortion with Maehara, either. "I just got… scared, I guess."

"Of what?" Maehara asks.

"I… I dunno. Just… screwing it up," Nagisa admits. "...It's not that I don't like kids. I love them. But… tutoring kids and raising them is so different. I already feel like I'm not doing enough when it comes to my students. I can't imagine what it'd be like to have a kid depending on me for their whole life. What if I'm… what if I'm just not cut out for it?"

He raises a hand. "And I know that's ridiculous. But don't give me any of that 'I'm sure that's not true' garbage. I've heard it from people way closer to me, and it just doesn't seem to sink in. Because even if there's just a .01% chance I'm not good enough for this, that's still too much. Because a student who doesn't like me can move schools; can graduate in three years. But if I have a kid… adopt a kid… whatever, that's permanent. They're stuck with me. Forever."

"I wouldn't wish that on - on anyone," he says. "Because what if… what if I end up just like my family?"

People can call him gentle and kind all they want. But he still knows he's got his mom's blood running through his veins. He's predisposed to the same mental issues she faced. He had horrible intrusive thoughts and 'bloodlust' all throughout his youth. That alone took years of therapy to work through. He has no idea what kind of person he'll be in the next five years! In the next ten!

Maehara bites his lip. Leans over next to Nagisa and stares out at his backyard. He's got this perplexed expression on his face.

"...Most of us had shitty parents, you know," he says. "I mean, don't get me wrong, some were definitely worse than others, but they were all willing to send us to that draconian hell school. If even 10% of us had a good relationship with our parents, I'd eat my damn shoe."

"I know-" Nagisa says. "And I'm not-... sorry. I'm not trying to make it a competition. I'm not trying to downplay what you went through. I just-"

"And I'm not saying you are," Maehara interrupts. "What I'm saying is you care about the rest of us. You believe in us. Way more than you're ever gonna believe in yourself. So if you wanna keep faith, then how about you just look out at us?" He pauses, taking a sip of his root beer.

"Hayami's mother was never around, but her kids are growing up with her as an active figure in their life. Justice's dad was arrested for, like, 800 things, but he's the most just guy I know. Hazama's mom would scream and cry and go apeshit at her pretty much every day. But have you ever once seen Hazama react like that? Fuck no! She works in a library for Pete's sake. She's quiet, and patient, and can deal with more crying kids than any of us combined."

"When she's not the one making them cry with her scary stories-"

"Besides the point!" Maehara says. "What I'm saying is she's doing better. Maybe because she went through that. Which - god - isn't me saying we're lucky we got treated like dirt. That shit sucked. But at least we know how not to treat people." He sighs. "My relationship with my parents wasn't the worst... not by far. But even the littlest thing could hurt sometimes."

"They'd make these little jabs- these little jokes about how all I thought about was girls. About how I never tried- could only think with my heart. And it was true, but you have no idea how terrible that was to hear when I was already in an environment where I was being told I was stupid every day. It isn't that- it isn't that I wasn't trying. But that school was intense.

"Could you blame me for wanting to look for a distraction? Yeah, I'd much rather have dedicated my time to spending time with some girl. I… uh… honestly didn't take it too badly. I was a pretty chill guy. But I figured maybe some people out there were taking that stuff a lot more harshly. That it'd be nice to have someone by their side. And I could be that someone!"

"I'd make a girl laugh, and I'd just feel warm inside. Because flirting was fun and flirting was mindless and who knows the last time she'd gotten to laugh? It'd make me happy… and then I'd come home and just get told 'stop wasting your time.' 'You need to try harder.' 'Your future is on the line.'"

"It's not like I didn't know that. I-" Maehara shakes his head. "Whatever. I guess what I'm trying to say was… my parents weren't bad by any extent. We still get along. They love my daughter and my husband! Come over for every birthday and holiday. I'm sure they don't even remember saying that stuff to me. But what matters is that I do. And… well, I've already made this promise to myself that I am never going to make Naoko feel like that."

"I am never going to make her feel like her interests and relationships are flippant or unimportant. I am never going to tell her that her failures are all her fault. Whatever it is she does - however it is she spends her time- unless she hurts someone, then I will always support her. If she wants to spend her teenage years mashing faces with girls too, then so be it!"

"We're given this - this chance to make sure they don't feel the same way we did. To protect them. Even from… even from things that weren't other peoples' fault." He's quiet, for a long moment, fiddling with his drink. "...Yuma's parents were awesome. I mean… he died when he was young, but I still have the best memories of Isogai's father. And his mother was a saint. If I have a good relationship with my mother, then I fucking worship Yuma's. She is maybe the best lady I have ever met."

"But Yuma… he… grew up in an environment no-one should have to. Shit - I… almost feel weird talking about it. But you know how it was. Through no fault of his or his mother's, he had to spend his teenage years working his ass off at some minimum wage job just to keep a roof over his head. He had to fight for everything he has. And as inspiring as that sounds, he was thirteen when they first foreclosed his home. He started working full-time at fifteen!"

"Yuma went through so, so, so much shit. And I love him… respect him… was there for him through all of it. But I am so thankful his daughter is never going to have to go through any of that. That she will always have food on her plate and electricity in her home and clean, warm clothes. That, god forbid - if anything happens to us - she has a support system in you guys where I know she will never end up homeless."

"I'm thankful my husband can give my daughter a better life than he had! That has to feel so… empowering! Being able to… make a change like that. There was a time when all of us felt so damn hopeless. You know that. But now… now we can raise families who will be happier than we were."

Nagisa blinks. He hadn't even realized it until now, but he's close to tears. He wipes awkwardly at his eyes, admitting "...Shit, Maehara. That's insightful."

Again: Not to stereotype, but he's not used to hearing this sort of stuff from Maehara. He's more of the bubbly blond-headed bimbo type. It's not that he's not capable of saying some truly incredible stuff, but… he's also not usually the tangents sort of guy.

...This must be something really near and dear to his heart.

"...Yeah," he says. He'd seemed so stoic during his speech, but now he looks almost embarrassed. He scratches awkwardly at the back of his neck. "I guess Naoko's just given me a lot to think about lately. Hope it's not too jarring."

"Nah, man," Nagisa reassures. "...That was… actually really nice to hear."

"...For the record, whether you decide to have kids or not, you're not like your mom. You can worry about that .01% all you want, but the people who know you know that's just not who you are. Sure, you're her kid. And I'm sure that means you've got some of the same issues. But you know what you've got that she didn't?"

Nagisa's silent.

"The kindness and experience to deal with them."

...Nagisa feels his hand shake slightly. Standing there... clutching the railing on his old classmate's front porch, he blinks back tears. He shakes his head and murmurs a quiet "You really think so?"

It's not that that's not something he hasn't told himself before. Hasn't heard from a thousand mouths and seen in a dozen kind eyes. But even so, it's nice to hear said so outright like that.

"Of course, man," Maehara says. "Everyone does. You're, like, the hero of the E-Class. You're the one carrying on that thing we had. You can get down on yourself all you want, but I think to the people around you and to the kids you're teaching, you'll always be a really good guy." He smiles. "I'm lucky that my daughter is gonna get to grow up with you and the rest of the E-Class in her life. Hell, I'd love to enroll her in your school if you're still teaching ten years from now. And, well… if I'd trust you with that, I'd trust you with anything."

...The most important thing in the world to him. He's been entrusted with that. Something gentle… and soft… and oh so fragile. In the same way he'd been entrusted with Kiyoshi. In the same way he'll be entrusted the Chiba-Hayamis, and has been entrusted a hundred kids before them. From scared… or trusting… or undeserving parents, and from the children themselves, desperate for help.

Who don't see the boy with the dangerous eyes... with the racing thoughts and the blade in his hand, fearful for life and pulled in by his pigtails... who don't see the boy screamed at and smacked across the face... who's violent... who's dangerous... who's stealthy. A ticking bomb. An accident waiting to happen. The reprise of a violent legacy that's been lived a thousand times before.

...They don't see the boy forced to kill the only adult he'd ever loved.

They see the trustworthy man with the gentle voice and the kind eyes... who knows exactly what to say, and tries his hardest whenever he's given the chance.

Because that's who Nagisa's always strived to be.

...Maybe even who he's managed to become.

He lets out a deep shaky breath, apologizing for the strong reaction. He just hadn't expected tonight's conversation to get so deep.

"It's fine," Maehara says with an awkward pat on the back. "I… uh… probably shouldn't have made it so philosophical. Mighhhhhttt have overstepped a boundary there."

"No, no," Nagisa reassures. "It's fine. Honestly… I really needed to hear that. I'm… uh… still not sure if kids are really my speed. I'm busy enough as is. But… you're right. If I don't want to have them, that should be because I don't want to. Not because I'm afraid I'm some… monster in waiting. Not because I'm scared I'm going to screw it up beyond belief."

"Ex -actly," Maehara replies. "You're a good guy, Nagisa. And you've got nothing to worry about. Don't spend the rest of your life stressing over nothing."

With that, he straightens himself up and finishes his root beer... (Which is still an incomprehensibly disgusting task to Nagisa) Stretches, crushes his can, and tosses it back in the garbage. (Where it belongs.) "But I guess that's all besides the point. I… uh… didn't mean for this conversation to get so dreary. We should probably get heading back in. I hear my baby crying, and you're gonna need to get ready to head out soon if you wanna make it back to your place in time."

"Ah… yeah," Nagisa admits, finishing up his Gatorade and tossing it into the trash can in a significantly less cool manner. "That would probably be for the best." He pauses. "Although - I- uh… do have to ask. Did you bring me out here just to talk about that?"

"Eh?"

"The fact that I don't have kids. Or that you thought I needed a pep talk or whatever. Did you drag me out back to your porch just to talk with me about it?"

And recognition dawns in Maehara's eyes. "Aw - hell no!" he says, dismissively waving a hand. "For a second I didn't even understand what you were talking about. I am way too ADD for that shit." He smirks. "Flattered you think I'm capable of planning a coup like that, but I legitimately just wanted to have a root beer with you and brag about the cool swing my husband built."

"I still don't get how you can drink that crap," Nagisa admits. "I think I'd throw up."

"Root beer?" Maehara asks. "Eh… it's an acquired taste. Isogai doesn't like it either."

"...Is that who the Gatorade's for?"

"That's who the Gatorade's for."

"...You two have to be the two weirdest people I know."

"Bold words coming from the guy married to Karma Akabane, mate," Maehara snarks, slamming the cooler shut with his foot and prying open the glass sliding door. "Now get inside before you can shit-talk me in response to me building you up any more. I've got stuff to do."

"Maehara, wait," Nagisa says. "One more thing. Before I go."

"Mmm?"

"How did you know you were ready? Like… for Naoko. That you'd come far enough? That you were able to give her a life better than the one you had?"

"Oh," Maehara says. "Now that's an obvious answer." He pauses for a long moment, one foot in the doorway as he seems to stew in the melodrama. "...I didn't. And you won't, either. Doesn't make it anything less than the best decision I've ever made."

And without another word, he steps inside, waving over his shoulder. "Now grab your coat before you get a damn cold."

The rest of the evening goes by without much eventfulness. Nagisa talks with Megu and Isogai for maybe ten minutes, before glancing at his phone and noting that he should probably go. Maehara slings an arm around his shoulder, and Isogai gives him a glass of water for the road. Megu says she should probably get heading out as well, and reminds him to watch out for deer on the way.

Before he goes, however, he takes one last moment to glance over his shoulder… gazes at the idyllic little place the Isogais call their home. And then, with that, he starts up his car. Not before flipping on the music and glimpsing at his phone one last time, however.

[1/19/2031 7:47 PM:] [Nagisa💙] On my way back now.

[1/19/2031 7:47 PM:] [Nagisa💙] Planning went well.

[1/19/2031 7:47 PM:] [Kayano💚] Oh! That's good to hear!

[1/19/2031 7:48 PM:] [Karma❤️] We hope to be seeing you home by your curfew, mister.

[1/19/2031 7:48 PM:] [Karma❤️] Not a minute later. Otherwise you're grounded.

[1/19/2031 7:48 PM:] [Kayano💚] Oh, lay OFF.

[1/19/2031 7:48 PM:] [Karma❤️] :3c

Nagisa rolls his eyes and smiles fondly at his phone. "I'll try my best," he texts back.

And with that, he's off! The drive home is mostly uneventful. The roads are a ghost town, because… y'know, he lives in fucking Japan. And despite receiving numerous warnings about the deer around here, he doesn't encounter a single one on the way back. Instead, hands tight on the wheel, and phone softly buzzing on the passenger's seat, he's left alone with his thoughts.

As always, this sort of thing has given him a lot to reflect on. Not in just the direction his classmates' lives are taking, but his own as well. Maehara had really poured his heart out there, hadn't he?

...He'd seemed so happy.

Of course, Nagisa's happy, too. He's happy with what he has. Wonders if it's a case of the grass being greener on the other side. He's not sure, but as he pulls into his driveway and steps out of the car, he sees an eye peek its way out from behind the curtain.

'I'm home,' he texts. 'Though I'm sure you three already know that. Is Karma seriously spying on me from the window?'

'He's hunched over on the couch like a gargoyle,' Kayano texts back. 'Gakushuu and I tried to tear him off, but he's surprisingly strong when he's particularly attached to a stupid idea.'

'I'm not surprised,' Nagisa admits, remembering the 'civil war incident.' He marches up to the doorway. Needless to say, he doesn't need to knock. Before he can even motion to, the door swings open and Kayano wraps him in a hug.

"How'd things go?" she asks.

"Well!" Nagisa says. "We're planning something a little bit smaller. Megu will probably text the full plan to everyone in the group chat sometime tomorrow."

"Does that mean no Just Dance this year?" Karma asks, sauntering over to Nagisa with all the smoothness of a man desperately trying to pretend he wasn't just 'gargoyled' over on the couch.

"Yes, that means no Just Dance this year," Nagisa says. "...Probably. We're sticking to something a little less big. Having a slumber party… maybe playing a few drinking games- just gonna catch up. It'll be nice."

"Thank hell," Gakushuu admits. "I'd rather prefer to not have to nurse Akabane's bruised ass back to health this year. Do watch his drinking, however. I don't particularly want to deal with him hungover, either."

"Pah," Karma says. "Like I need you. I can take care of myself hungover just fine."

"You say that," Gakushuu replies. "But I once saw you rip a toilet lid off of its hinges."

"I was 21, for fuck's sake! And everything hurt! Cut me some slack!"

"Absolutely not."

Nagisa snorts, hanging his coat on the rack. Admittedly, as nice as it was taking a glance into a different sort of life, he likes what he has here. It's chaotic, but it's his. He wouldn't trade it for the world.

He settles into the imprint in the couch, still warm from where Karma was sitting... receives an elbow to the gut as he's accused of stealing a spot. Nevertheless, Karma soon settles down next to him, and they talk for what feels like forever, settled just like that.

Soon after, they prepare for bed. Gakushuu adorns his sleep mask, and Kayano pushes the beds in close- having nearly fallen through the gap last night. They brush their teeth and refluff their pillows and straighten their blanket. Then, when they're ready, they hop into bed and wrap each other in an embrace.

...Admittedly, Nagisa's still not very sure how he feels about what Maehara said to him earlier. But he is sure about one thing... that Maehara was right when he said that if he doesn't want his life to take a turn in that direction, it should be because he just doesn't want it to. Not because of some preconceived notion that he's bad, much less unready. There are a lot of things about Maehara and Isogai's little idyllic future he doesn't understand... in the same way he's never lived Megu's 'dog in the pool,' or been in the shoes of any of his other classmates... and that's okay...

Because there is one thing that Maehara had brought up earlier, that he really, truly gets.

...That feeling of 'I don't think I could possibly be any happier.'

Nagisa at fifteen. Hell- even at twenty - had been such a scared, unsure person. He never would have anticipated ending up here… nestled in Kayano's arms… head pressed against the back of Gakushuu's shoulder.

He doesn't know where he'll be in another five years... in another ten. But he knows wherever he ends up heading- whatever decisions his family decides to make - they'll be happy as long as they're facing it together.

After all, if he was any bit as dangerous as he'd been worried he was when he was just a kid, he wouldn't have been blessed with this wonderful thing.

For once in his life, Nagisa falls asleep in no time.


[2/8/2031 3:41 PM:] [Nagisa] How's Kiyoshi doing?

[2/8/2031 3:41 PM:] [Karasuma] Well, actually. He seems in a much brighter mood.

[2/8/2031 3:41 PM:] [Karasuma] Still hesitant to speak much, but when is he not?

[2/8/2031 3:41 PM:] [Karasuma] He's shy... I try to give him his space. But he's spending more time out of his room.

[2/8/2031 3:42 PM:] [Nagisa] That's good to hear.

[2/8/2031 3:42 PM:] [Karasuma] How are things on the school end?

[2/8/2031 3:42 PM:] [Nagisa] Good! He still hasn't asked for his desk to be moved back, but he's talking with his friends again.

[2/8/2031 3:43 PM:] [Nagisa] Maybe we won't need to have that meeting after all.

[2/8/2031 3:43 PM:] [Karasuma] That's a relief. I must admit I've been busy as of late handling Irina's mission overseas.

[2/8/2031 3:43 PM:] [Karasuma] Can I free up my Friday?

[2/8/2031 3:44 PM:] [Nagisa] Go right ahead. I'll let you know if anything changes, but for now…?

[2/8/2031 3:44 PM:] [Nagisa] I actually think he's doing really good.


For the first time in a long time, Kiyoshi has hope.

Of course… it's uncertain. Weak… fragile… easily crushed. When he awakes in the dire hours of the night, heart pounding- knuckles still bruised- it withers in his chest. But all the same, it returns each morning- strengthening just slightly with the sight of a smile... and Kiyoshi comes to the shocking realization that his hope is no thing, but rather a person.

The one- the only… Makoto.

He greets him each morning with a smile… waves his hand over the crest of the mountain and shouts. He reassures him. Reaffirms him. Rebuilds him up when he's fallen down. And as Kiyoshi starts to realize that very little has changed about their relationship since he'd told him the truth, his heart glows bright.

He'd been so scared of being rejected... abandoned... hated. He'd certainly have deserved it, but he'd feared that possibility with every fiber of his being... would have done anything to prevent it. And as that grinning face consoles him each morning, he thinks he finally knows why.

...Makoto's become his rock. Now, more than ever. And he's thankful… that not even this could change that.

Some things are different. But they're not bad. Makoto calls him late at night, telling him he'd had another bad dream.

"What is it you remembered this time?" Kiyoshi asks, trying to keep his voice gentle. It's only afterwards that he realizes he was trying to imitate his friend.

Makoto details hurting people. Good people. Maiming them in gruesome, brutal ways. He slits a pregnant woman's throat, and leaves a thirteen-year-old boy to die. His voice quivers and his whimpers turn to sobs.

"You don't think it's too late for me, do you?" he begs. "You don't think I'm bad, right?"

...He never used to talk about these things with Kiyoshi before.

Shaking thoughts of maimed bodies and mangled corpses from his mind-Kiyoshi shakes his head. "No. I don't," he says, trying with all his might to focus on that reassuring smile. "...I would never."

In light of the truth, sometimes it feels like all he has.

Three days later Kiyoshi remembers smacking him upside the forehead. It'd been some time shortly after he'd first brought him in. He'd made some smart-ass comment, and he'd just lost his temper. The Reaper had blinked- surprised. It'd been the first time Yanagisawa had laid a hand on him.

...And then he'd laughed.

"If you think I can be swayed by those sort of actions," he'd said. "Well, then I think you've surrounded yourself with the wrong sorts of people. I'm not some quivering, fragile thing. Maybe you've gotten me confused with your meek little trophy wife?"

And looking into his eyes, Yanagisawa knew it was the truth. That this man wasn't scared of him.

...He hated it.

That day, he'd doubled the dose of antimatter. His underlings had raised eyebrows, asking if that risked the integrity of the experiment. But Yanagisawa had raised a fist, and they'd done as told.

Physical torment may not have worked on The Reaper, but watching him writhe on the floor in pain two hours later… Yanagisawa decided that was much more satisfying, anyways.

He brings it up when it's just the two of them. Figures he has to. Something to do with being completely honest or whatever. Makoto shifts slightly as he speaks, his lips drawn back into a frown.

"...I… uh… 'm not sure if you remember that, but… you're not still mad at me about it, right?" Kiyoshi asks. "I mean- I'd completely get it if you were, but-"

Makoto places a hand on his shoulder, gripping tight as he speaks. "No. Of course not," he says. And that sense of unease fades. His smile returns. "...It's in the past. We're recyclables, remember?"

"...Yeah."

Some part of him is still worried that this thing they have is going to collapse. That one minute memory will finally be the straw that breaks the camel's back, and that Makoto will give up on him. Kiyoshi supposes that's why he tells Makoto about the bad things he remembers doing to him. To Aguri, too. As a reminder that it's not too late to turn tail and run.

...That, and that each time Makoto grabs him by the shoulder and says 'I would never,' it eases the guilt in his chest just a bit.

He still sees the demon at night sometimes. It doesn't talk to him. Most times, he simply can't move. There's no Korosensei. No Reaper. No Makoto. Just Kiyoshi… alone with his thoughts.

He dwells on them for just a moment. Reminds himself he's accepting what's coming to him. And then… he wakes up. Focuses on slowly wiggling his fingers, and uses the anxiety calming techniques his parents taught him. There's still this little voice in the back of his head telling him he doesn't deserve it… this peace he's found. But all the same, he hears Makoto's voice, too, and it says- defiantly- "you do!"

...It's a step by step process.

Things are still weird with Fumiko. He thinks they both know that. She may not know the truth about him - but she does know that he'd hurt her feelings. She's cold with him for maybe a week. But sooner than later, her walls collapse, and she buries her face in his shoulder - wrapping him in a hug.

"...I missed you," she says. "Please never do that again."

Kiyoshi's hands drift up slowly, settling on her upper back. They shake as he remembers how quickly they could go from caressing that neck to strangling it.

"...Yeah," he says, reminding himself he's not the victim here. That this is his burden to bear, and he won't dare complain. "...Missed you too."

Slowly but surely, things return to normal. Or at least some semblance of it. She jokes with him, and he returns said jokes, assuming a smile. She walks to school, a skip in her step, and proudly tells him about her plans to break away from her parents.

"I just feel like… my life is finally coming together!" she says, fists pumped. "Do you ever feel that way, Kiyoshi?"

...He pauses.

"Yeah. Of course."

He doesn't have much time to think about it… how dubious this thing they're doing is. Whenever he begins to grow uncertain, Makoto's there to remind him that they're doing the right thing.

"I mean… just look at her!"

Kiyoshi's gaze drifts to her blissful, unaware smile, and he knows he's right. He remembers those eyes staring at him with heartbreak… just how sad of a person she'd become by the end there. He doesn't want to cause that ever again.

Besides… she turns to him, and meets his eyes... greets him every morning, and walks him home at the end of the day… thanks him one evening for everything he's done for her, and admits she doesn't know if she'd have gotten this far without him… and he knows: she's his hope, too. The both of them… they're all Kiyoshi's ever had. He teams up with her during assassination and they manage to down Nagisa. She rushes past him and slaps his hand so hard it aches.

For just one moment, he feels confident.

...He doesn't want to lose this thing they have, either.

He tells himself it's not selfish. He doesn't believe it, but what else can he possibly do? This friendship the three of them have… it's already on such shaky footing. Maybe it's better to let sleeping dogs lie. There's no changing the past. All he can do now is make it up to those two in the present. And this is… simply a part of that.

(They need to do it, okay!?)

"There's nothing to worry about," Makoto says. And Kiyoshi believes it. Because he's wanted something to cling to for so long.

It's a slow process: recovering, or whatever this is. But Kiyoshi thinks he's doing well. Not great, but… well. He can finally sleep through the night. Sometimes his thoughts still go off-kilter, but at least they're not violent. A reminder of what he's done sits there - gnawing at the back of his brain, but at least they don't make him spiral. At this point, all it is is a sort of quiet inevitability. Something he'll never escape, but something he's getting used to, whether that's by covering his ears or not.

He's not quite happy… and he's definitely not confident… but at the very least, he's alive. And most importantly: he feels seen.

It's been four days without a single nightmare when he comes home exhausted. School had been awesome. The weather's getting just slightly warmer out, and they'd studied outside for the first time in months. Admittedly his legs feel like jello after how intense his latest 'assassination attempt' had gotten, but he's in a good mood.

He hasn't been thinking about Yanagisawa as much lately. Of course he's still there… in the back of his mind like a constant reminder. But at least the things he's remembered lately have had nothing to do with hurting people. They're stupid things… first science project… buying copious amounts of mice… learning some dumb magic trick just so he could mansplain it to the first person he met. He still doesn't like them... they're reminders of that person. But he'd take that person doing something mundane any day over him hurting his friends.

He gingerly places his book bag on the ground. Taro rushes over, shoving his nose in Kiyoshi's face. Where a few weeks ago he'd have ignored him, Kiyoshi takes the time to pet the dog, savoring just how soft the fur feels caught between his fingers.

'I'm allowed to have this,' he reminds himself. 'I'm still allowed to have these little moments.'

He's been looking up therapy techniques a lot more recently. It's not that he doesn't think he could manage to go to an actual therapist if he asked, but… what therapist would possibly believe him? Sure, he's always had mental issues, but as of late they feel so intricately entwined with the occult bullshit that's become his life. There's no explaining why he hates himself without explaining what he did back then.

Not that… not that he hates himself! Working on that, remember? Just appreciate the little things. How soft the dog feels... how nice the wind is outside… how much his friends love him, even when he's caught up in a web of lies.

He straightens himself up, making a conscious decision not to think about that. Instead, he pats the side of his leg as he smiles at the dog. "C'mon, bud. You wanna go upstairs? I'm feeling all conked out."

(The reality is he still doesn't want to be left alone with his thoughts, but he won't admit that. He's not - he's learning, okay? He's not depressed or self-pitying. He's tired. That's all.)

He doesn't even need to ask. Taro crouches and taps his front paws against the carpet, bouncing from foot to foot. Then, like his shadow, he tails after Kiyoshi, his tail wagging all the while.

It's only as he begins the trek up to his room, however, that Kiyoshi realizes he hasn't seen his father. Frankly, that's nothing abnormal. But as he passes by the kitchen… and overhears his father's voice, he feels a sense of unease wash over him.

...Because of all things, Karasuma sounds worried.

"Yes. I'm- I'm aware-" he says, this shaky irritation to his voice. "But you are not giving me the information I need- I am listening! This is just… this is a deeply important matter to me, and I'd appreciate it if you-"

He cuts off, hissing in deeply through his teeth. And as Taro edges closer to the doorway, letting out a concerned whimper, he says "Okay. Yes. I will listen. Please. Just. Repeat yourself."

Kiyoshi pulls Taro back by the scruff of his neck - too nervous to let out a sound. Because he knows his father, and this is not him. His father is a cool, collected, emotionless man. Never once in his life has he heard his father angry, much less his voice crack.

Something serious has to have happened.

...Mom?

His mouth goes dry.

No. He refuses to even humor the thought. It's not- it wouldn't be- nothing's happened to her. Who… who cares if she's in a danger zone overseas? It's not- it wouldn't be - it's just not, okay!? It doesn't matter that there is pretty much nothing else that would earn a reaction like this from his father. (Nothing else he loves.) It's not her. She's not hurt. She's not dead. She's fine.

He edges in closer to the doorway, pressing his back to the wall. Whispers for Taro to get into his kennel immediately. He has… he has some listening in to do.

Taro hesitates, staring up at him with big eyes and letting out a low whimper. But when Kiyoshi hisses in through his teeth, demanding "Kennel. Now," he obliges- retreating back to his cage with his tail tucked in between his legs. In any other situation Kiyoshi'd feel bad, but now is not the time for this.

There's a long, drawn-out moment of silence. And for one terrifying second, Kiyoshi fears he's been caught. But when his dad finally speaks up- what feels like minutes later- it's in a weighty, half-composed tone.

"Mmmmhm," he says. "Yes... I understand."

His voice cracks just slightly as he speaks.

...Okay. The phone. He's talking over the phone. Kiyoshi wishes he could make out a response, but he guesses he's going to have to try his best to gauge the scope of the emergency from his dad's end alone.

Emergency? When did it become an emergency!? He still doesn't know it's a-... nothing's happened. What is he getting so worried about? This is just his anxiety going off like always!

Maybe… maybe it's not his mom! Maybe something happened at the school! Right after he left! Maybe his dad doesn't know he's okay? That's all-

'No,' he decides, hearing Karasuma take a deep, panicked breath. 'I doubt it.'

...After all, when has he ever earned this sort of reaction from his dad before?

One of the E-Class members, then. Shiota-sensei. Or… or Kayano. Uncle Itona… maybe Miss Nakamura. What if something's happened to one of them? There's always a risk with gymnastics… or what about Yoshida-san? Hasn't he always been a motorcycle enthusiast? What if he crashed and burned?

No. Nononono.

"...And… you're certain," Karasuma says. "That she's not going to…-" his voice falters. "That no-one has died."

He's quiet for another long moment, and Kiyoshi's stomach does flips. 'She' he says. 'Her.' That cuts him out of the equation. Shiota-sensei. Karma. Itona, Yoshida and the rest. The possibilities narrow, and his eyes well with tears. 'no-one's died?' his father asks, sounding so uncertain, and Kiyoshi decides this has to be an incident where a lot of people were hurt.

A place… like… a secret missio-

No. No. It's not that, okay!?

"Yes! I'm aware it's a situation where no-one can know for certai-" Karasuma snaps, his voice petering off with irritation " It's very soon after the incident... I know. But surely the doctors must have at least some information. Some estimate! All I need you to do is tell me what the current status report is. And do not tell me there is none!"

His voice raises, and he slams a palm on the table. Kiyoshi blinks back tears and brings a finger to his mouth. He bites down hard as he can, just in some feeble attempt to prevent himself from letting out a whimper.

Taro barks in the other room. But if Karasuma notices, he doesn't react. Instead, he just stands there, arguing on the phone as Kiyoshi notes he's never once seen him this way before.

...Not even with his students.

Years ago, when Kiyoshi had been really young, one of them had swerved off the ice. He can't quite remember who at this point, but it had been a really serious thing. When the rest of the E-Class had been told about it, it was an epidemic. But even then, his dad hadn't sounded like this. He'd just paced in circles, this perturbed look on his face as he went dead quiet.

Mom had been worried, too. But all the same, she'd placed a hand on his shoulder and reassured him that she was sure everything would be okay. "Those kids are just about damn invincible," she'd commented. "They've faced off against trained assassins. Battled literal monsters. Took down your weird buff ex-military bunkmate. You think a little car crash can take one of them out?"

...Karasuma's expression had softened.

"No," he'd admitted. "...I suppose not."

Even stressed out of her mind, Kiyoshi had remembered thinking his mom had sounded so gentle at that moment. A lot of the time she was over the top… or trying to get on his dad's nerves. But when they'd faced problems together like that, it had always been so comforting.

They'd found out that the student was okay in no-time. Nothing more than a few broken bones. Kiyoshi's family had rejoiced. And his Mom had ruffled his hair, admitting for just once that she was so thankful.

Karasuma had shaken his head later that night… took a deep breath… apologized for losing his cool. That had been his idea of losing his cool. Mumbling and pacing in circles a little bit.

"I am not behaving irrationally!" Karasuma growls, his voice genuinely distressed. He seems so much more broken than the man Kiyoshi had known back then. "Yes, we were aware of the risks. And yes, I'm aware there is only so much you can know at the moment, but I think I at the very least deserve to be passed onto the doctor! It's clear you don't know what you're talking about. Now do what I say, before I raise a fucking complaint to headquarters about you! Need I remind you this is my wife we're talking about!?"

And that's all it takes. That simple… innocuous word. Kiyoshi falls to the ground- back still pressed against the wall, and lets out a silent, defeated sob. Because he finally knows for certain: that the worst possible thing has happened.

His mom… she might go away now.

He's not talking about her like he's dead. At least… he doesn't think so. His head is spinning. What is it Dad said? 'No-one's died?' Or had that been a question? He's talking about her in present tense, isn't he? It's hard to make out. Kiyoshi just can't focus.

She's… she's not dead. But is she dying? They're talking about her like she's dying. Karasuma's voice wavers, and Kiyoshi becomes certain of that. Nothing else could earn this reaction of sheer terror from his dad.

...Everything feels light.

"...Good," Karasuma finally mutters. "Yes. Thank you." He's quiet for a long moment. "Hello? Is this… Doctor Moriyama?"

Doctor. Doctor. Yeah. Dad had mentioned a doctor. Is she hospitalized? Wh… what happened? Did someone shoot her down? Did she get in a fight? W… what's going to happen to her!?

"Yes. This is Agent Karasuma's husband. Tadaomi... Tadaomi Karasuma," he recites. "I'm here to get a status report on her condition."

His words are fading in and out. Kiyoshi's head is pounding. Has his voice dropped to a whisper, or is Kiyoshi simply too distracted by his own heavy breaths? Shit. Shit! Stop breathing so hard! He's going to hear you, dumbass!

He reaches up to cover his mouth with trembling hands.

"Mmmhm. Mmmhm. I see," Karasuma's voice is stiff. Rehearsed. "And what are the extent of the damages?"

Damages. Damages. Oh god. What happened to her? Is… is she in pain right now? Kiyoshi feels tears well in his eyes.

Karasuma's breath hitches just slightly. It's split-second. Blink and you'll miss it. In an instant, he's back to that monotone. "...Okay," he says. "Okay. I… I understand. Do you have any idea of… how long she'll… be out for?"

Out for. Out for? Is she under anesthetic? Does that mean… does that mean she's not in pain?

...Does that mean… she might die… without Kiyoshi ever getting to talk to her again?

Karasuma's quiet for longer this time- leaving Kiyoshi with the deafening silence. Tears spill down his cheeks, but he makes no effort to wipe them. He's too busy doing everything in his power to hold back a scream.

"...I see. Okay," Karasuma says, his voice empty. "...And what are her vitals? Her heart rate?" He pauses for one long moment, voice hushed just slightly. "...What are her chances of survival?"

Whatever answer the doctor has for his father, Kiyoshi doesn't hear it. Instead, he's left to wonder… as his dad lets out a defeated sigh and says. "...Okay. I understand. I believe that's all I had to ask." He mumbles a thank you, but Kiyoshi can gauge he doesn't mean it. "...Call me if there are any further updates. And let me know when she's awake." He pauses. "...Mmhmm. Goodbye."

There's a beep as he hangs up the phone. but Kiyoshi doesn't hear him motion to move. The chair doesn't budge. There's no tell-tale sign of footsteps padding against the kitchen linoleum. The world goes quiet- leaving only Kiyoshi with his panicked whimpers, and the deafening sound of silence.

His father has never been a vocal man. But this… this is different.

A minute passes, then two. At least… Kiyoshi thinks so. He's not keeping track. His head spins. His breath goes ragged. His chest starts to ache, and his dad doesn't move.

...Despite himself, he peeks around the corner.

It's hard to see from his place on the ground. His father's back is turned to him. But he's hunched over, shoulders tense as he stares down at his phone. He doesn't shake. He doesn't speak. He doesn't even move. He simply sits there, hands clasped as he blinks down at the 'call ended' receiver.

...He's not crying.

There's a lump in Kiyoshi's throat. Even sitting on the ground, his knees feel weak. He pulls his head back into the living room and stares blankly at the wall. He wonders why this had to happen now... after everything. He was finally… he was finally getting…-

...Better. He was finally getting better.

He guesses he should have known better than to get his hopes up.

Finally, Karasuma stands. There's a scape of the chair against linoleum and Kiyoshi jolts. He bolts to his feet, trying desperately to look like he hasn't been listening in. He takes one step back, then another, and bats away his tears with a panicked hand.

...He does a pretty poor job of it. He's caught standing there in the middle of the living room, looking rather like a deer in the headlights. But if his dad cares, or even notices it, he doesn't seem to voice it.

"...You're home," he says blankly. "...How long have you been?"

"A… uh… few minutes," Kiyoshi lies. It feels like it's been an hour. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to- I wasn't-... listening in. I just… uh… I overheard something was going on."

Karasuma's expression hardens. It's impossible to make out what he's thinking. "...Indeed," he admits. "Sit down. We need to talk."

"About… about what?" Kiyoshi asks, like he doesn't already know.

"There was an incident. In Ukraine. With your mother," Karasuma says blankly. He's staring into Kiyoshi's eyes. If he squints, he can make out his own reflection in them. He looks exhausted. Broken. So small.

He wonders if his dad is asking himself 'Is this all I'm left with?'

'Is this all that's left of my wife?'

Heart sinking, he asks himself 'am I all that's left of my mother?'

And as Karasuma's next words hit him, Kiyoshi's not even sure he processes them. Because something inside of him withers up and dies.